Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: New Year's Evil

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

Henry & Eddie bring you 2026's biggest stories and true crime news - The strange truth behind the US takeover of Venezuela: Star Gates, The Epstein Files: UN-redacted, Mysterious deaths begin to pile up in Bayous of Houston Texas, Anti-Trans Alaska state medical board member dies in house fire after arrest for child sexual abuse images, Deranged man "under orders of Katy Perry" breaks into Beanie Baby founder's mansion and leaves woman in coma, and finally... the boys are joined by a mystery birthday boy for a very special musical edition of Uncle Corner. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes oh god bless america you know what it is about America you know what it is about America is that no matter what we'll surprise you right you don't know what we're going to do you think we're going to zag we're ziggins yeah you think we're just blowing up fishing boats we are taking the fisher men that's right we're getting in there our old fucking bullshit is a caracas of shit wow 2026 a caracas of shit can you believe that we've made it to this future year

26 guys is that just my so my pacemaker shutting off nothing's here yeah turn it back on yeah yeah 226 yeah

yeah you just get a real air horn though yeah yeah yeah yeah

honestly put it on the list welcome to side stories my name is Henry Zabowski

I'm sitting here with the brave Ed Larson hi I'm very brave super brave

I'll fight all you people please don't embrace them I'm coming for you I got two fist one for each of your moms.

Do you leave your honestly? I hope you have a gay mother. I pray you have a gay mother. So obviously a lot of news came out. Christmas break. We took it. What a wonderful time we had Ed Larson. Oh my God. I got to see you quite a bit. Yeah. And then you know

what else? We got to not see the fucking shit out of each other a bunch as well. And that was actually, surprisingly nice. Key to friendship. Yeah, is not being there. Time apart. Every once in a while. to save a bit we had a wonderful time we went out for uh we had

christmas eve you guys came over you celebrated with my family it was really nice my mom was in town she had lots to say about Epstein yeah I bought her a nice bathrobe thank you honestly because I'm sick of her walking around naked thank you come on hell yeah

cover my mother's tits I just love that every thought inside of my mother's tits is now wrapped by Ed's gift happy January 6 We also want to say to everybody's favorite holiday Hapar January 6th.

Well, tomorrow when you hear this, it'll be January 7th. Can someone please storm the White House for me? I'd love to get in there. I never got to do it. When was ours? No one never stormed the White House. That's since Andrew Jackson was inaugurated.

You're right. Definitely it didn't do that. You can't even storm it. It's all gone. They just calmly visited it. You just walk through the whole thing now. I love that, though. Nothing makes me happier

than our president's own disrespect of the White House. You know, that makes me so happy. You know, because honestly, fuck the White House. Fuck the White House. Yeah, it's like, it's kind of funny that half of its gone. Same. I love, I love what they've done. I love that they're saddled with them. I love that every fucking child molester in that fucking building has to deal with the child

molester in chief just ruining the place. They deserve every fucking minute of it. But Eddie, as we know, over the Christmas break, over the holiday break, A lot of news, things flew around, right? And I feel that maybe a part of it is, because stories we got sent in for the return of side stories for 2026, fairly weak. Yeah, a little boring.

You get a little boring because it seemed that the stories that were the main stories going on across the entire world. Quite exciting. Yeah, I feel like this would be a great time to commit petty crime and not get exposed. Dude, this is the time. Trump is setting the smokescreen forever. Everyone now.

He was so upset about what was revealed inside of the Epstein dump, with the last couple of Epstein dumps, he decided to invade Venezuela. Now, we now know that he invaded Venezuela simply because we wanted the oil. Yes. And the gold. Don't sleep on the gold. They got other minerals, too. Believe me, I wish I could get some of that gold. But Dick Cheney would be rolling.

He's rolling in his grave right now. Thinking about all of the work he spent, piecing together. A gigantic worldwide conspiracy to make the world still somehow love America in some shred, some piece of soft power out there after we went and subjugated everyone, right? Yeah. He worked so hard. He really did. He really did. He's the misdirect king.

Dick Cheney's first heart was made of gold. And he had a view for this country, a long view for this country. Because he's like, you can't just come out and say this shit. They have the WMDs. And then we had all the stuff. Yes, Saddamo said it's a bad man. But a bad guy. Well, Maduro was a bad guy too.

Bad guy. Bad guy. But he didn't even come. We didn't even, they kind of said fentanyl. They kind of said fentanyl, maybe. They didn't even try to come up with an excuse, which I think is very, very funny. And it is great. Because, again, we're seeing us, Dick Cheney, you failed.

You failed. You failed, you fucking dead, fucking bitch. He is a dead bitch. I love that he's fucking dead. This story, but there's a deeper story here. You know that, right, Eddie. What? The Venezuela thing? Have you heard of the tomb of Gilgamesh?

No. Now, what a lot of people don't understand, that, yes, Dick Cheney, wise American. Truly one of the best... You like this too much. I'm actually coming around on it. All of this recent news... I've been reading too much about Epstein. The lack of Cheney and the Epstein emails is making me like him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is what's happening. It sucks that, like, now we just like to like a politician, they just have to fuck adults. That's it. You could do, just fuck. I don't care if you hit a kid. Yeah. Like literally.

Knock it out. I'd rather, I would have more respect for you beating your child than fucking it. Okay? I mean, it's a low bar. It really is. But at least there is one. So, yes, Dick Cheney, obviously, he, and our intelligence operations, our military, we sought after trying to gain a really strong foothold in the, very chaotic

Middle East region trying to tick over the oil all this type of stuff right we believe as an idea of creating

an American future yeah right or somewhat in a slightly American

Russia Chinese equal divvy up of the world yeah right that was like one of the

other big discussion that started back with Kissinger so we we thought we created

all these things but that was not why we invaded Iraq the reason why we invaded Iraq is that in 2003

we discovered the second Iraq invasion yes The big one. The long one. Yeah, yeah. Down to the shaft.

We discovered the tomb of Gilgamesh. And do you know who Gilgamesh is? I have no clue what you're talking about. Gilgamesh is the ubermensch of the, I believe, the Hindu religion in many ways. Gilgamesh was a powerful, powerful. Like, they believed to be either a magician or a god on earth. And there's lots of rumors that his tomb was somewhere. We don't even know if Gilgamesh was real, right?

But I'm going to say for our story, for what I'm saying, right now, entirely real. I believe in him. And a part of what happened was that our government, and this is true, they believe that they had found, I mean,

true as in me, it was written on the internet. They found the tomb of Gilgamesh in 2003 in Iraq. Okay. Which just so happened to be, Eddie, a Stargate.

A Stargate. And the reason why we went into Iraq in the first place was to get that Stargate. the mediocre Kurt Russell film?

You're talking about, no, it's not, I'm not talking about a warehouse of the old DVDs. I'm talking about an actual portal. They believe

they went to this, there was this some giant machine or, we don't really know, but they're saying essentially there is a, there was a hidden

machine style like thing inside of this tomb because he was viewed as this sort of like, he might have been a future man. Right? That came to the past. The cradle of?

civilization is there and all that stuff. I don't fucking know, Eddie. But that, you see, there's something else that happened. Not several months ago. Uh-huh. A new, heretofore undiscovered culture, 18 months ago. A new Stargate? Listen, was found in the heels of Venezuela. Really? Sure. But they don't have the Tigris or the Euphrates there. No. All they have is sweet, sweet crude. Last time I had sex, last time I had to deal with a bunch of a nasolians, crudes. I was in a fucking whatever. Fuck you, dude.

I didn't say anything. I'm waiting for you to finish you. So here we go. Back in mid-2020, archaeologists confirmed a previously unknown culture and massive 130-foot snake markers in the Tippois, Lost World Mountains. And now, they found this, like, culture,

and they say that Maduro immediately had sent the entire South American military down there to cut it all off. I don't know if this is real or not, I'm saying it's real. Okay. Right? And then coincidentally, not 18 months later, we invade in the same area.

Caracas, the Capitol. Trying to take over Venezuela to get whatever is the secret weapon. You think it's the Stargate? It's got to be. You think we're trying, you think Trump wants a Stargate. I think that he doesn't know there's a Stargate. Oh, okay. I think the other guys know that there's a Stargate.

Stephen Miller's like, I make me a Stargate. They hope that there's Jews on the other side. Here's what I think. I think what happened with Venezuela. Oh, no, he likes the Jews. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, no. But here's what I think happened with Venezuela.

Here's my personal fear. You're saying I'm wrong. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying that both things can be true at the same time. That's what I'm saying. Here's why I think Trump really wanted to invade Venezuela, not just to make us stop talking about the Epstein files, which we'll get to in a second.

Because we're not going to stop. Yeah, we can't stop. I'm going to, as soon as they put him in prison and hang him, I'm going to still talk about it. MCFiles is just too much fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a gift that keeps on giving, buddy. It's only 1% have been given to us, and he's already flushed a baby in Lake Michigan. Dude, one percent of it is not, it's only been released millions of files.

I downloaded it already threw a baby into a Great Lake. Dude, I've already downloaded the first three sets of all of the zip files. Let's go right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I've been listening to it. I put a beat underneath it. It's kind of, it's jazz. Yeah, it's kind of, you know, it's a ball about the kids you don't fuck. So here's why he really invaded Venezuela, all right?

As a stand-up, I've learned this, okay, as an amateur stand-up, I've played the Miami Improv. Okay, the Miami Improv. Famously, Miami's one of the worst places I've ever done comedy ever. And do you know why? Because the Miami Improv is not in Miami. It is in Doral, Florida. Oh, yeah, Doral, yeah. And across the street from.

the Miami Improv in Durrell, Florida. Okay. Is Trump's golf course. Okay. Okay. Now, that show at the Doral comedy, at the Miami Improv. Yes. Filled.

That is a heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy Venezuelan neighborhood. Really? It's like all Venezuelan. So what I think is a couple of waiters didn't show up from work at Trump International Golf Course. Yeah. This is a cat and retrieval. And he's like, you know what? I'm going to fucking bomb your family.

I know exactly. Oh, yeah. That's what I, that's my personal theory. Oh, yeah. I think they were giving him hell down at Trump International. There was two different, like, he had several. You had the topiaries inside of Mar-a-Lago. In order to make them look like 13-year-old girls require constant maintenance.

And so when those lawn men leave, you know that Trump went all the way down to Venezuela to get him back. Yep. That's what happened. Yeah. That's what happened. Yep. We got a bus boy. Foreign report.

Suck my dick. Yeah. Fuck you, dude. Someone spilled Coca-Cola in some thousand island on Trump's lap. And he's like, I'm going to kill your family. Hey, hey, yo. It's as good as reason as any. But, yeah, that is.

But, you know, so Venezuela, all the story, that's not the big story. I don't even view it as the big story. Unfortunately not. It's just two mobsters really whacking. It really is like. I'm watching this. I'm like, this is like the Lucchese family, Lucchese families attacking the Gambino's. Can I also one of my big conspiracy theories in this one is the fact that you see Maduro constantly given thumbs up?

I think it was a part of a plan. Oh, yeah? Oh, you mean? Because he, like, acts like Trump? There was something about this in which he's going to go somewhere. Like, I guess, I don't know where they're going to. They're going to try him in America or whatever. Yeah.

And then I could easily see him getting like pardoned. And then him just like going to something. place. Takashi 69 wants to hang out with him, apparently. That's a fucking fun-ass afternoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see that reality show. Oh, my God. It would be, man, the editor on that. What are you?

Wow, wow, I love to. Deal with that. But the real news is the fact that we're back here in 2026 somehow still bringing new updates. That's right. It's an island adventure. Heck yeah, it's Jeffrey time. Iyeye

God, it feels good to be back in the temperate waters around Jeffrey Epstein's island You know I forgot I got you guys Christmas presents Oh, no, Rob got his Christmas presents

What is this? It's your own little islands Oh! Oh, it's all my own little island I can do anything I want there Oh, nice! Oh, we have neighboring islands so that we can keep a whole

pattern of secrecy Wow, it's big enough for a child A child in my knee. That's all I need. That's all I need is room for a child in my knee in my little island. I want a big, St. Bart's. Yeah, don't you worry, St. Farts, more likely, when you get there. We love fucking kids together.

You know, updates, fucking plenty this week. Because what they did, our wonderful administration, when they decided to do, which I actually completely agree with, dump the hardcore Epstein files that we'd even, allow us to have after their own poultry scan of them on Christmas Eve, right? So a lot of this stuff came out on Christmas Eve. We now know that one of the big fun things was they fucked up with all the encoding. So most of the redacted stuff that could be pulled out.

They have all the Photoshop or something? They just don't. We are looking at the worst criminal, the people that run our country right now are the single least talented criminal organization we have ever seen. Yeah. They are, I am constantly. just surprise at how

truly bad they are at doing every form of cover up. You don't need to be in a hurry, guys. Just take your time. Take your time. Cross out your T's. Cross out your T's.

Really think about your eyes. All they had to do was copy it and then paste it and then it unredacted it. Yep. And that was it. Oh yeah. And I have all those original files

so if you want them, I can send them to you. Oh, I can't wait. I have the files that Trump they tried to pull, right? So we already know that they put out a bunch of incriminating pictures of Trump and then they pulled them out, right? And we already caught them.

Those of us that had the files already caught them. So I have those files, which is great. Nice. And the, we know, that's like, all of this stuff came out. They did it in the dark of night because they're trying to say, remember, they're all like, you're going to want to take all these with a grain of salt. You don't think they were giving it to us as a Christmas present? This is, I kind of felt like, though, they do in a way.

They do, they didn't feel like it. So one of the big things that came out of the, the last big dump was, this letter that was really the only thing that got publicity was this letter from maybe Jeffrey Epstein to Larry Nassar. For those of you that don't remember

Great guy. Great funny guy. Great guy. Loved his job. Yes. He was a... Larry Nassar was a, I believe he was a trainer and doctor for the Olympics. He did all these kind of stuff when we'd be like Little Girls Olympics. Women's Gymnastics.

Women's gymnastics. or even the adults are tiny. Full on couldn't be more of a predator. Yes. Molested everybody. Every single, it seemed like everybody. Every child he was in contact with

he. He was a bad, very, very bad man. Yeah. Jeffrey Epstein did not have his contact information, but wrote his cell, wrote to him in jail, from jail. We now know that Jeffrey Epstein in this letter wrote, if it wasn't Jeffrey Epstein, if it was indeed, that he

wrote that if you are reading this, you will know that the job that I wanted to do has already been done essentially, I'm dead and I wanted to let you know that our president has the same predilections as us. He loves young, nubile

girls. So he said that. Now, immediately the DOJ came out and they debunked it. They said it doesn't match his handwriting. Yeah. They said there was a postmark issue, and I contend fuck you. Because I think that's the, it's fine, right? I don't even think it's, I don't even think it's real.

Yes. The signature doesn't match. The postmark doesn't match. But the postmark was after he died. You can mail a letter after somebody fucking dies. Whoever knew about this knew he died in a deal cell, though, while it was written. So it was sent to Larry Nassar. We don't know again. We don't know. But the idea. Does Larry Nasser get it? No. That's how they found it, is that he got returned to send her. Oh. Because he didn't accept the letter. But don't they just go through everything that you send out anyway when you're in jail? Don't they just read every letter incoming and outgoing? It is another extremely fishy thing that was probably dumped, honestly, to create this type of argument.

Because the GOJ can come out and say, and the FBI, they can say, oh, that's why you got to, like, really look at everything. Because this is a part of our investigation, everybody, which is, eat me. The stuff that's truly chilling, though, is the stuff that you think is nuts. So there was a redacted chunk of material that came out on the 24th that talked about Donald Trump being involved in a scenario where he, it seems, was a part of either a botched abortion or like it was the end. This is the big one for me. This was the, yeah, it's a big one. And they apparently threw a dead baby. Yeah.

And like, well, he was there for it. He said he was there. Trump didn't throw the baby into the lake. His hands aren't big enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't physically do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, fuck, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good work, right.

Yeah. I like this. I like this, you know. And so normally, when I first read that, I was like, oh, this is more hysterical bullshit and told, you know, that there was another series of emails within the Epstein. This stuff is so thick. It's so hard to stop when you start. So there was an essentially a series of emails with Jeffrey Epstein and his, the guy that was a guest in

charge of his estate. One of the people was in charge of his estate. And they were talking about some various things about Trump. And they were talking about how, oh, I can't believe he's going to go down because this was in the first, right before his first term, when all of the, the stuff

with Grabber by the Pussy and all the stuff came out. And they're like, oh, I can't believe that Trump is going to. Remember that innocent? Yeah, normal one. And so, they were talking back and forth. They're like, oh, I can't believe some, you're like, essentially derogatory language about women. I can't believe these bitches are going to fucking bring

them down. And that dead baby story didn't. And so I find that interesting out of nowhere these, like, dad was not seen anywhere else in the files. It was seen randomly in a conversation that corroborated the story that was this other victim came forward and said

this thing happened. Yeah. And I was present for. So, I don't know. I will say don't. It's not good news. I don't think the president was super thrilled that it came out. No. And I think that there's a lot of other people. Bill Clinton is, Bill Clinton he's like, prosecute me. You know why? Because anything's better than being in that house. Oh,

also, do you know why? He needs to get out of that house. Do you know what Clinton could give a fuck? Of course this all be dug back up. You think that Clinton's had a peaceful lunch since this has began again? Oh my God. You think that he, no, he's like, put me in jail. Yeah. Like me go. What's that just that? Because of of the fucking new laws, he can't

be put in jail. Because Trump made it illegal to fucking prosecute the next president. Wow, fantastic. So now Clinton's like, you can't even touch me. My life sucks anyway. Let's get it out. Fucking, please, love a God. Please, love a God.

Just fucking kill me. Let's fucking kill me already. Get somebody rat me. Get somebody come. Get somebody just suicide me. I feel your pain. Get somebody, please. Please, somebody come and do what you do to jail. I have the same sword.

Was it not good for us? Well, we talked about this. He brags about it. Yeah, I know. He just was, he's like, he's begging for, somebody release him. Right from your blade. You know what we could do? Because that's like, we could go on and on about Epstein.

These are these, these couple of stories are just important to remember. We're keeping, we're going to keep covering it. There is more and more and more. What just hit me? What was the other piece of information? Oh, David Blaine asked. asking for help trafficking women in. If anyone need, how,

all right, David Blaine should not need help trafficking children. He should be able to just put him in a box and they should appear at St. Bart's. Kazam! You know, like, it's like, abracadabra. That is proof that magic isn't real. That is, like, that is absolute proof that he's full as shit and none of it's real.

Because if anyone should be able to get away with this crime, it's him. You know, what was also included in the emails was some stuff from Woody Allen's police depositions and shit like that. There's a bunch of information that all came out where it's like, I didn't know that there were other things on Woody Allen too. There's other stuff on Woody Allen.

Of course. I had no idea. There was also the story of Jeffrey Epstein had worked on getting this 15-year-old into this special school and they found all the applications for this 15-year-old in his office that that would go on to a cute.

him of rape as well. So it's like it's all coming together. It's all in the emails. So if you really want to have a good time, go crack them open. How much time did you spend on this on your Christmas break? Hours. I read stuff and then I was listening to people break down what they

read and then it was just because there's just too much. There's too much. You know what I will say? Fantastic tour of his New York home. Oh really? Yeah, I have all of this. All of the pictures of his entire Manhattan structures. Because it was just

the dentist chair before him. Yeah, now it's the whole house. And God, he had bad taste. He really was just such a fucking baby boy. He didn't even like to fuck adults. Of course he had bad taste. He, you know, shocking, right? He's really shocking. Even as a child I was attracted to

adults. I know. I said. I didn't even like kids then. I always liked big tits. All right. Well, this is just This is just more of the upsetting news of our day. But we have here in her notes, all I see here is Tootsie's vagina. Oh, yeah, Tutsi had some of my vagina problems.

Let's stop. Let's just move on. I was, like, pulling these gooey ropes out of her. And she's got three different viruses. I don't want to see the Tootsie files. Yeah, yeah, I'll show you, Bobby. I don't want to see Tutsi's a show you. I feel way, ugh.

It's like way happier stuff in the Epstein Files. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's talk about this story because that'll lead us into a plug. Here we go. So here we go. We have. Another super surprising story, Dr. Ryan McDonough, who was a part of the Alaska Medical Board. He was working on hardcore, really, really putting in the time, trying to make sure anti-trans kid.

He was an anti-trans crusader. He was trying to make sure there would be no way. He was there for two votes. He was immediately put on by their Republican governor. Right. He was in Mike Dunlevy over in Alaska, which we're headed towards. And he immediately went in. He's a doctor, cardiologist, wanted to make sure no way, no trans kids are getting any help in Alaska, right?

He went on there. You can't even go to the end of the world and be trans. Nah, not. It's so aggravating. And you know what I'll say, too, is thank God somebody's punching this vulnerable group again. Yes. Because I am sick and tired of their strength. Yes.

You know, they really need it, especially in Alaska. because, like, there's nobody in Alaska. Yeah. How many trans people could there even be in Alaska that are trying to get help? Like, literally, the number's so little, how could you pop? You know how easy it is to talk in Alaska when your dick just sucks into your... Yeah, I'm just a head there. I'm just ahead there.

So this guy, he goes, uh, and, um... Gets arrested for, uh, downloaded for a bunch of child pornography. Yes. And he... Ten felony count. Yes. So he got a bunch of right. He downloaded it.

He was putting around there, child sexual abuse material. You know, I never... Because child pornography requires lighting, agents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? If it's pornography means there's a director. I just like, forget, all right, let's just take the child out of this. And let's just talk about pornography for two seconds.

Thanks. Who's downloading it? What do you mean? You don't download pornography. You're just watching. Well, these guys have to download pornography, because there's, sharing it over things like telegraph and they're sharing things and it's the only way to have

it so you have to download it you can't just stream it well you could but then you don't got it and then the idea is a lot of these guys which you find out it's collectors and it's got them need them got them need them they see files right there's a bunch of files and then they do p-to-p file sharing

so they'll go on to a lot of these guys get busted on because they're you're fucking horrifically bad at stuff and they put it on Dropbox and they put it in very public aspects of then people It's in the cloud. Yeah, in the cloud, where these guys are doing it on direct messaging to each other in these giant systems. The pedophiles have to work in groups.

Yeah. It is the only way they can work. So they, unfortunately, I have to roll back all the years I kept trying to say that there are pedophile networks because technically it's the only way they can work. Yes, I mean, obviously it's very true that there is pedophile networks because because you're going through the Epstein files. And it's always like, it's like the who's who. of pedophiles. And there's like pedophile networks all next to each other. You got my, no one's even talking about.

The Epsian pictures with Michael Jackson. When you're sitting there with a Michael Jackson, and he's in full makeup, and he's sitting there, and he's looking in it. I'm just sorry, I'm already broke off of this. And he's looking at Michael Jackson dressed like that. That picture of him and a Michael Jackson, at one point are you looking at Michael Jackson that close while he looks like that and you're not like,

man, you're a fucking weirdo. It looks like a ghost of a petapone. Like, if you could hang out with that evil, like that picture, Later period, Michael Jackson, when he is turning into semen is one of the most scary. He's just covered in clown makeup. He's slender man, and they're having a blast. It's so, you know.

They sit there just smiling like they're flirting with each other. Michael Jackson's the scariest-looking person in the world right now. He looks like what's her name, Aunt Gladys, from weapons. She really does. You know, like that is frightening. He's dressed like the Joker. Yes. And Epstein's just wearing a hoodie with no shirt.

Well, he's doing, he's, he's sexy, Eddie. This whole thing is that he's sexy. All right, let's get back. Let's get back. Let's go back. So, Dr. All they're sexy guys. So Dr. Ryan McDonough, right? Obviously, he was having a bit of a problem there, you know. So there were people pretty upset about it. People mad with him.

He was like obviously saying like, oh, you know, because he's trying to blow off steam. Yeah. Everybody's making a big deal about it. And so because they gave him such a big deal about it, it seems he set himself on fire in his own home. Yes. Because they let him out on bail. Oh, of course. They let him out on bail.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just so we can really cover stuff up. So he went, set himself in fire. They're trying to say that they don't know if his body is body yet, but it's definitely going to be his body. He's unaccounted for. Yeah, that's what they're saying right now.

He's unaccounted for. And it just makes me really happy. You think so? Yeah. Yeah. That he set himself on fire? Yeah. I think in many ways, like the guys that do this, it's just like, yeah, that's how you're

supposed to go. Yeah. Right? And it's like he said fire to himself. I think that that's like, I love. love, how painful that is. Was it painful for him? It had to have been. He set himself a fire.

Unless he blew his brains out first. He probably blew his brains out first. If he's not, I mean, if he's a pussy. I mean, who kills themselves by fire? Drunk people. Oh, you about, all right, purposely kills themselves. Being a war protesters. Oh, yes. Self-familiation.

Oh, yeah. Someone did it recently in front of the White House. Oh, yeah. They loved it. Yeah. They all got out there with their fucking marshmallows. They were so. happy. But this, honestly, we even just told the story to remind you, we're coming to Fairbanks, Alaska. That's right. We're coming to Anchorage too, but it's sold out. Ancridge

is sold out. So, don't worry about that. But I challenge you to come meet us. Mike Dunlevee. Mike Dunlevy. Out in Fairbanks, Alaska. We are going out there, and it is going to be the end of the goddamn world

out there. I'm very excited. I can't wait to be at the Centennial Center Theater in Fairbanks, Alaska on February 21st with the wonderful Billy Wayne Davis. Come and check out Henry and I and at the end of the show, stay tuned because we're going to announce a bunch more side stories dates. Yeah, baby.

Yeah, man, Alaska, I can't wait to see Alaska. I cannot wait. I'm very excited to be there. I'm scared, but I can't wait. Yeah, what do you have to be scared of other than never coming back? That's the thing. You know what I'd say, those guys, give us some wrecks. Because I was looking at it, what do we do in Anchorage in Fairbanks?

I've heard already people saying there's not quite a lot to do in Fairbanks. No, there's nothing, but I definitely want, like, food late at night. No, we, I don't, I think we're going to get caribou. Aren't you going during, like, the 30 days of night time, too? Yeah, yeah, Fairbanks, we get no light, apparently. But Anchorage, we get a couple hours. I'm excited.

That's how much more North Fairbanks is than Anchorage. Wow. Yeah, then we're going to see the lights. So cool. Now see them northern lights. We'll see. As long as it's not cloudy. Yeah.

I got one night to see these fucking lights. Yeah, we'll say. There's a couple things going on that I wanted to bring up. The first one was just something I want to pay attention to, and I want to kind of, like, throw it out there to our sparrows. Yeah, it's my sparrows and my little spies. See who's out there? I want to know what you all know about this. It's a very

loose story that doesn't really have many like hooks in it yet, but I'm very concerned about what's going on in Houston. There's a lot of people showing up dead in the bayou. Well, we have been getting emails and people have been talking about

serial killers operating in the Houston area for months. And what's We haven't really been talking about it because there's no kind of evidence. There's nothing really yet yet, but it's, it is insane what we're seeing here. Yeah. Like, I don't know if this is multiple criminals dumping bodies. Like, because remember it for, I don't know if you remember when they were going after the Long Island serial killer when they're going after Lisk.

Yeah. And that they, a part of first, they kind of had a parse, like, which are victims and which are like, because it was also like a dumping. When do we officially get to say it's the guy with the big head? He's not on, she hasn't gotten to trial yet. He's not fucking, we can't say anything. Technically, I actually find it kind of even irresponsible that there's been multiple documentaries calling him list because he's not been, he's not guilty yet. Yes.

So, but it's him. We pretty much know, but there's a lot of evidence and it's a lot of stuff, but yeah. Yeah. So what's going on in Houston is, so basically, they've started tracking how many bodies they find in the bayou. which started being tracked in 2017, and they found... That's late. Since then, since 2017, they found 200 bodies in the bayou.

And the craziest part about it is, over the last two years, they have found 78 bodies in the bayou? Is that not natural inflation? Yes. Especially, Texas. But, yeah, no, yeah, so something's going on down there. A lot of them appear to be suicides. A lot of them appear to be just people, like, they don't know what happened. Interesting.

But, yeah, so they found 33 bodies in the body of this year. Are people just going there to die? It might be like a Golden Gate Bridge type situation. But also, it also seems like they really think that there's a serial killer down there. And they've been finding so many bodies that now it is officially, like, a thing that everyone's talking about. Fascinating. They found 35 bodies in 2024, and they found 33 bodies in 2025. They just found one this morning

They just found one this morning So the clock's starting on 2026 So what it's so what we just Like we just don't know We don't know whether or not it is just a popular body spot Yes Or if it is indeed Like because this could be like

It could be gang shit too You know like there's lots of gangs in Houston You know there's lots of stuff like that So who knows There's lots of fucking oil people in Houston Oh yes It could be weird shit going on with that We don't know

But they're fine it It's a lot of international travel, there's a lot of international people that live in Houston. It's one of the most culturally diverse cities in America. Yes, and we have a lot of people that are seasonal workers that go there too. So I feel like there's probably quite a bit of that. People work in the

oil, like we were saying like, not I mean transient work are like people that travel for work where they go there for the oil, I believe. And not just that, a lot of people who come in through the country, through Brownsville, they end up in. Yes. And damn damn hunkers. Yes. Apparently Alaska's got

great hookers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, apparently that's the last spot for hookers. No, yeah, because of all the craps. Yes. I don't even understand. Deadly's Catch. Is that you've seen in Alaska? Yeah, Delis Catch is Alaska.

Oh, wow. Yeah, you never watched that show? No. Oh, man, I almost moved there. I was ready. I wanted to be a crap man. Then I realized I'm not strong enough. No, it hard.

I can't drink enough. No, no. You don't like the cold. Do you get seasick on the cruise? I didn't get seasick We got like slightly nauseous Julie did She did one day

She'd be a terrible crab woman She'd be bad I think she'd be fine She'd be strong She'd be a terrible crab woman What are you talking about She could pull up all the crabs I think your wife

So many crabs I would love to see your wife Pull up crabs I'm sending her there Sorry Honestly I have watched Eddie I'll say you this right Here out of school

This has got nothing new With crime Eddie's lovely wife For some reason Is taken to doing full landscaping work in his backyard. We've talked about this on the show. But she's digging back and forth.

She's like a fucking like, your back is getting bigger. Well, she's like, she gets cold a lot, you know? And so like she's always got sweaters on and stuff. But the other day, I was looking at her in the mirror. I'm like, holy fuck, your triceps are like. Yeah, she's been lifting rocks all day.

You're like a bad motherfucker. Yeah, she's like doing Russian prison work in your backyard. Definitely keeps me in check, man. She'd break the fuck out of my nose. Anyone, if anyone tries to fuck with me, Julie's going to beat the shit at it. Yeah, so I got Natalie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julie will fight, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the thing. I think Natalie's more peaceful. Well, she's more, well, I'd say not peaceful, but non-confrontational. Julie doesn't like violence, but she'll fight you. I saw this firsthand. I saw first hand. Check out this, dude.

All right, this happened. A man broke into the guy, to the Beanie Baby man's home. There's so many things here. Ty Warner. This is the man's name. So many things you're confused me. So number one, Russell Faye. He broke into the Beanie Baby mogul.

The fact that you could be a Beanie Baby mogul is amazing. Well, he is the guy. I didn't know he was the man, Ty Warner, because, and all the Beanie Babies, they got the little heart with the T.Y on it. He's the founder. So what happened? So he didn't even sew up? Did he found, so did he, like, find the first Beanie Baby? I guess he made it.

Yeah. Look at this. They all have the T.Y. Heart thing on their butts. I'm going to say, I'm looking at this guy, and I... The Beanie Baby, man? Yeah. I don't like him. Dude, he's a billionaire off of stuffed animals.

I don't like his face, man. No, what's the like about it? He's filled with little beads. If you crack him open, he's just filled with little beads. Do you think he had Princess Dye murdered just to... Just to bring up the price of the Vita Baby? Yep. What happened?

getting at stock manipulation. All right. So you think this guy who beat him up and broke in his house is a big Laboooo fan? What did he think? Oh, wow. We found out it was a hit from the Laboo Boo Boo industry. That'd be fucking amazing.

So here we go. So Russell Faye, he seems to be he's quite sick. He seems to have schizophrenia. He broke into Ty Warner's mansion and beat a woman there that was described as Ty Warner's girlfriend and employee, Linda Malick Aslanian, right? Very lovely woman. She was beaten into

unconscious by him until he was arrested. She's in a coma. He broke himself, he put himself in a room. Police had a barricaded himself in the room. Police had to pull him out of there. He's a big guy, six for three, 250 pounds. Damn. Big, big, big unit. And he said that apparently

Katie Perry sent him there. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he said he had a mindling. I can see her being a Beanie Baby fan. and it wasn't to, like, steal all the beanie babies in the world? I guess who she's talking to now? Was the supervillain, it'd be for beanie babies. Oh, yeah, and guess what she does now?

She's sitting around with the prime minister all day, basking, basking in his kisses. Oh, and Canada's. Yeah, Justin Trudeau. She sits there. She got stolen from us, Eddie. Oh. She was supposed to belong to America. Yeah.

We tried to send her to space, and we brought her back. He brought her back. She was in my, that's the thing. We let her go to Montana. That's too close to Canada. Yep. And then he fucking took her. Yep.

So, Katie Perry is too busy sucking Canadian dick and telling this guy to attack our Beanie Baby moguls. Yeah. And no one's asked her about it. And I feel like that's like one of the biggest things

that I find to be a red flag here is the fact no one's asking Katie Perry any questions. Yeah. Why are you sending this man to beat his employee girlfriend? Yeah.

Why are you a reason? What is it about? Oh, so you're plotting with Justin Trudeau up there in your little igloo. I don't know how you people live up there. And you're sending psychic assassins at our

moguls to destabilize us? Yeah. Beanie Baby is a respectable organization. Beanie baby, whatever they do, whatever it is that they do besides making little bears, is fucking

America's backbone. That's goddamn right. And these fuckers, these Canadian fuckers. I actually think this is a Canadian plot. Really? Even though this guy will, Russell, the guy that was arrested, he's an American.

Russell Faye, he was arrested several times, he's American and for beating his girlfriend. He also beat several other people with a baseball bat. He also was... At 6-5, or 6-3-250, you shouldn't need a baseball bat. You should be able to just use your hands. No, no, no, I feel like he was angry guy.

He beat a woman for, because he broke into her front yard and started drinking out of her garden hose, and she said you're, he said she was infringing on his basic right to water, He beat her. Oh, yeah, he's a bad guy. His mugshot is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's kind of cute in a way. He doesn't like the flash. He doesn't like the flash. In 2014, interview with the San Francisco Gate about a criminal diversion program for veterans with mental health issues. He was actually quoted as saying, I am fully trained for combat. I have been trained to eliminate you. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. And so, yay, they just released these guys.

Yeah? And so he's just out there. I don't know how he got inside that Beanie Baby. mansion maybe god knows who left it because like who vacuums all the beanie babies in there oh because you got they collect dust oh imagine the dust in that house come you think it's filled with beanie babies or do you think there's none in there do you think he's like fuck these stupid things if 500 it's a wait a second go back to that go fucking back to that the princess diana unopened is 550 grand no that's just what this person's

selling it that's not 550 there's a few of them though for like very very high price you You would have to be... Why is it... Look at this one. $20,000? That is built on her blood. Wow. $10,000?

This man had Princess die. This is the end. Murdered. He definitely had a murder. He worked with the Saudis. He got her fucking murdered. Yeah. For this.

Because that's... Prince Andrew had something to do with it. No, he's got... Yeah, he's got... Now he formerly known as Prince Andrew. He's just sitting around here. Oh, one of the other big reveals in the Epstein emails was... This is his secret name.

What's his secret name? Princess Santer. The invisible man. The invisible man. I hate these fuckers. Well, anyway, Russell Faye's going to jail. Yeah, he's in Santa Barbara Jail, which I imagine is beautiful. How nice.

I have all the jails, like, I mean, I almost want to go. I bet you could, I bet if you wanted to go to Sanne Barber Jail, I bet it's on Airbnb. I, yeah, Verbo. Yeah, Verbo, you're right. I think you'd have to go to Verbo, and I think that I could see the Tuscan. We're not even joking. Look at that. Look at how beautiful the front of that prison is. It's really

nice. Why did they make it that cute? I went to Santa Barbara for New Year's with Julie. Why did they make the Santa Barbara prison cute? It is cute. It's adorable. That's hilarious. That's like a bell tower. That is the funniest thing I have ever. Why the fuck does it look like a Disney hotel? Like a church?

It's a church. Oh, it's an old church. It looks like one. It's a prison. It probably is, yeah. That is the most open prison I have ever seen. I'm telling you, I'm not ready to become mayor of Santa Barbara. Actually, I'm going to run Julie for mayor. Where were we, where we just, we saw like that prison

citadel in the middle of the city where it's like they had the giant citadel. It was like right in the middle. We were just downtown. It was right before Christmas break. Right before. Was it Portland? Yes, we saw like they have that giant jail like in the center of town and it's built

like a, it's built like a prison. Yes. Because they want you to know you're going prison. Yes. Where this is like Santa Barbara's prison, it looks like you could be going to a fucking DMV. Yeah, the Portland, like the Portland prison, the jail, yeah, it's frightening, and has giant walls

in front of it. Very robocop. It's to keep you in. Yeah, OCP as hell. It's a prison. It's a jail. It's not like the Santa Barbara one looks like a visitor's center. Yeah, it looks like there's multiple water fountains. Yeah, like, that's the kind of shit. That's where Jeffrey Epstein go. Like, this is the shit. This is the problem with stuff like this.

Go commit crime in Santa Barbara. This is literally where they send people that are like, like that. This is where they would ascend that, that, that doctor that was, busted for the child born. You know, there's like a chef. Oh, yeah. You know, there's a guy, yeah. Not a cook. Yeah, not a cook.

There's like a chef. Like, there's a name on the menu. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, as presented by. Like, there's a, oh, yeah, Santa Barbara is a nice. So much Tuscan tile. Oh, you know what I like. So beautiful.

You know what I love. better than also one of those great showers that you can sit down in. Oh, yeah. I'm so sick at getting clean, standing up. I like doing it from the bottom up.

I do it from the foot of the souls first. That's what I do. Show my butthole. Live from your way. Oh, well, we just wanted to begin our year before we're getting the letters. We just wanted to remind you here last podcast on the left. And it's

side stories is that we're not getting any younger. And we pledge to never promise to be children. Right? I'm not going to pull in Andrew Schultz. I'm not going to start saying words out of school. I'm not going to start acting like a child.

You've been there, done that. Or he was. I just mean like, I don't need to say like new words. New words. Like slang. I don't need to pretend to be young. I don't want to pretend to be you children. That's fine.

That's fine with me. That's what we've decided to do is incorporate Uncle Corner and build it out so that now the Uncle Corner, you know it's coming, and you can prepare for it. Bet. So, ugh. Angry.

Anger. So here, four Uncle Corners are a very special guest, Holden-McNeely. Oh, finally. Six-seven, six-seven. Yes. So, immediately negated what we said before this. So what we wanted to do here is people forget about the father.

Uh-huh. Through the holiday season, they do. And us as older men now, we're getting to be in the older category, right? We're starting to get in there. I think that you guys forget that we go through stuff too. And we... You're not a father. No.

But I could have been if I cared. Yeah, Henry. I think you'd be a really shitty dad. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'll take that. Yeah, you should take that.

So what we did is that this is Holden McNeely. Hello, Holden. Hey! Now, we decided to do this at the top of the year to kind of get it out of the way. And what I did here is that we decided to take Holden out for his 43rd birthday. And drug him. No, you did that to yourself. Yeah.

And then I said, these are mushrooms and you took them. Yes, and he took them happily. And then what he did was a very normal father. thing to do, which just happened. And what I wanted, I'm going to set this all up for you, and then you can go olden, which is he was very, in a human moment, he came home and inebriated, fell down, hurt himself, woke up his family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he fell down, he woke up his family, he hurt himself, he bled.

But the thing is, I think we need to remember that no one has ever given hold on a birthday. Not ever, ever. Your birthday is. December 28, Stan Lee. No one could give a fuck. Yeah. about December 28th birthdays. It's like worse than Christmas.

It's the worst birthday in the world. They call it the hidden day. Yeah, it's the day after we've done the whole fuck family fuck suck thing. Yeah, and then you might have gotten home in between the New Year's time and the New Year's you're already afraid about going back to work. Last year, on my birthday, all I did all day was celebrate a dying man. But you did.

And I was given a $30 gift certificate to nothing in particular. I was just given one of those general ones. $30 to, like, Amazon. Go buy a bullet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to. So I literally, I was like, I was like, you know what, Henry, in all the years that we've been buddies with Holden, we've never taken him out for his birthday.

Right. I think once I brought you to the movies. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there will be blood. Yeah, there will be blood. He remembers it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how long it was.

Since we've done anything for you on your birthday. No one remembers and nobody knows. And don't, by the way, stop wishing people happy birthday. they had Facebook. No one's looking at that. Well, you are... It's Uncle Corner, it's allowed. He's allowed to complain.

No one's looking at it. But what we decided to do is is that... I hate your listeners. With all of these emotions... Okay. They hate you too. They do. I don't like that. But with all of these emotions that you feel and all of these things going on,

I don't want you to tell the story with words. Right. I want you to... Rob... Thank you. What's up? Yeah, dude. I'm going to need you to freestyle rap about your experience falling down on your birthday night and waking up your fucking family. Did he put D.M.T. in the baby oil. He put D.M.D.D.D. in the baby oil.

Daddy got drunk as fucking decided to suck his own dick, but he couldn't, because he's going to get his rip. You got to go do another fucking spoofing the mushroom bill. I went to the bowling alley So a little man he was dead Selly He told me to eat a mushroom pill Then I drink many many beers And I spill

He did Spill all over the place And I pissed all over that Little girl's face Not my daughter, different one And I said, hey bitch Go have fun Gave her a couple tokens

For the video game machines And then I took out my bean Change the beat Yeah change it up Because that's when the night's fucking changed up Oh shit Buckets and beers We got buckets of beers

We weren't bowling y'all We got a couple fucking buckets and beers Strike one, strike two Fuck you suck you I got another rib removed That's right to do that fine again Who knew it's daddy's din Drink too much din

And said hey Let's go to a bar across the way Drink another motherfucking double beer day That's right, it was double beer day So I had one Then Benz and Ed said another one And I said son Can't you give me that loaded gun

I'm gonna go home And it has to fun Freudian slip And I got home Then I got home And I tried to make some macaroni and cheese I tried to make some macaroni and cheese Lexi was in the other room

With my baby and they were trying to get some sleep She said hey what the fuck is that I heard a big splat outside in the dining room He was fat She went outside saw me with blood Cushing out my fucking chin right I fell somehow in my chair

I think I lead back Slate my chin on the dining room table And I started bleeding all over the place I had blood Cushing out my chin I knew I wouldn't win Wife said is this the end I'm gonna divorce your ass

if you do it again. What? She went back to the bedroom. I went back to my own room. That's right. I got a separate room because you know I'm being drinking all up in my nose. I know daddy's sad. You've been drinking.

He ain't feeling very happy anymore. But you know what I'm saying, guys? Damn. Let me say this right now. Some party and bullshit right there. Let me say this right now, all right? It look bad. First of all, first of all, I love how fast word trash.

Because I guess Lexi hit you up No, I hit her up because I was like I sent Holden home too drunk I probably should have went with her I literally was like I think he might be And she's like he fell down He's bleeding

And then like that's it We were all just so happy because Well, because you were very I woke up You just flip A switch Because this is why I want to establish Everybody

We went out to a steak dinner Nice night We ate hardcore We ate Yeah I had like a cocktail, had like a glass of wine. I was, we drank water at one point at the bowling out. We did, we got ordered one.

I heard multiple pictures of water. Zero shots. Zero. Yeah, dude. Just called being fucking 43, man. Only beers. Yeah, buddy. Yeah.

Except for you let me, you got a weird whiskey and they handed to you at this insane cup. It was a very strange, like a goblet. They handed me this weird vase of makers mark. Yeah, that was very strange. Crazy looking. Very, very strange. That's the Ventura. PIN.

Yeah. And I think it's the, it's, I've got to learn this, dude. Because also, Rob, I'm going to fucking look at your ass. I think the last time the light switched out of me was because Rob was like, do this fucking dab shithead and make me do a dab. You're saying that he bullied you. I knew a dad. Younger man bullied me.

Rob doesn't drink. Yeah, they may force me to do a dab in front everybody. In the parking lot of the studio. I've never forced anybody to do that. He's never forced you. You got very eagerly took it. I was drunk. And then we went and had a couple beers

And again it happened So I think it's the weed correlation with the alcohol beer And the mushrooms And everything I'm annoyed at how little we did Yes No I was like when you turned so drunk And I called that Uber I was like

What happened to him? Tim was 1115 We were having a normal conversation And then you just turned into a ghost No fucking clue Well either way We even fed your ass It led to some great freestyle

Hip Hop beats yeah Thank you I wasn't even expecting that And I'm glad too because I would have been in my head trying to come up with it. No, never. It has to happen in the moment. I would have never told you beforehand.

Okay? You need to tell your fucking producer to stop forcing talent in this network to do dabs. I actually hope he does. I mean, I don't want him to force people, but yeah. Dabs are great.

They're really fucking great. Well, Holden McNeely, do you have anything to plug? Yeah, my slug, dude. My fucking dick, dude. What's between my legs, man? Listen to nerd of mouth. Yeah, listen to a nerd of mouth. Listener to mouth. LPN TV.

Please subscribe to LPN TV. Don't just watch the shit on there. Fucking subscribe over there. Check out LPN Bloodbath. That shit is. Great job produced in that show. You've been crushing it. Genuinely, you've been crushing it.

Check that show out. I'm so proud of it. The finale is dropping. Will it be out? When does this come out? Tomorrow. So no. So yes.

The finale is out literally today. Great. Great. I thought it was Thursday. So check it out. It's coming out. and I think it isn't so good and I think that, oh, Holden Nader's so on Twitch

you want to watch me get that drunk Fridays, bitch? Yeah, definitely support that. Yeah, definitely support that because it's going well. If he starts drinking at home and you see those where he's going to fall. Obviously, holding with the Jackie's has been funny.

Jacking with all of it is. It's been funny forever. A grumpy dog that goes by Henry's sister. You've been doing it in a long time and it's really funny. Hell yeah. Thank you so much. And I'm, I'm out. Get the fuck out of this fucking studio.

I was sweat on the ear fence. No, it's good. It's Marcus. He doesn't know. He'll be grossed out by you. Goodbye, Holden. Bye, holding. That was way better than I thought it was going to be.

That was actually very aggravating that it was like kind of good. I'm like mad that it was fine. That was fucking hilarious. Yeah. I was expecting that to be like a bigger disaster. No, no. To be honest, I don't know. What, it would have been better.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't know what would have been better. Is it better for it to just be obnoxious or is it interesting that he's actually kind of good at it? No notes on the rapping, lots of notes on being a father. And himself as a man. His activity is a human being. Well, we're back side stories all over again. Yeah, baby.

And I got to say I love. The wheel SS. Yeah. Yeah, the SS with a Jew. Yeah! Yeah, that's what we do. We SS, here at SS, we love Jews. And I laugh when I think about Jews, and I love spending time with Jews.

Especially Woody Allen. My favorite. Oh, God. Can you even imagine? I still think about that. Just hanging out with Steve Bannon and Nome Chomsky all night. Ugh. Like what it's like, smelling their bellies.

Oh. Yeah. Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left pay money for this. Go to LP on the left through all the socials all the social shit

it's out there go look at it and they go check out our new YouTube channels LPN TV and then you go to it's a foreign report someplace underneath

an LP and Romanticse and who's the bitch check it out absolutely we got shows baby yeah we do January 31st last podcast

on the left is going to be at the Met in Philadelphia that's going to be a fucking wild ass show it's a big ass venue we got plenty of

It's come and see this show. It's going to be a fucking blast. We're pulling out some special shit just for that one. February 18th, I'm going to be at the punchline in San Francisco. Lucky you. Me with Grant Gordon and the wonderful Julie Rosen. Oh, wonderful. Yeah, it's going to be a blast.

And then Anchorage, Alaska, sold out February 20th, Fairbanks. Come see us. That is February 21st. And then guess what, folks, you wanted more side stories dates. You fucking got them. Tickets go on sale next Wednesday, January 14th. We're going to be March 14th, Urbana, Illinois. Never heard of it? Can't wait for it.

The smaller, the weirder of the town, my favorite place to do a show. Akron, like, changed me. Same. It's like, I just, I can't wait for this shit. All I want to do is go to more places people hate. Well, guess what? We're going to be in Lexington, Kentucky. Can't wait.

April 26th. Rochester, New York on May 30th, and London, Ontario. We're coming to Canada first ever, first ever side stories in Canada. We're coming to London, Ontario. June 28th. And any one of these places, please recommend local restaurants. Yes, we know that we do that. You know that it's our favorites.

You know what we like. You know when we come out here, especially like, we're going to come out there. We're hitting this year so fucking hard. We're hitting this year so hard you call us Ike Turner. Whoa! Is that, can we have to cut that? Whoa! We're going to have to cut that before?

I think it's been long. Yeah, cool. It's been long enough. My favorite part about Ike Turner is when he died That was my favorite part Yeah But when he died

The New York Post The headline was Ike Turner can't beat death Yeah one of the best Phenomenal stuff post Peak of their entire Of their entire world There was up there when Saddam Hussein was hung

And they wrote good news Yeah That was a good one too Yeah Yeah They can't be wrong all the time Well hell Satan everyone And I'll see you

In this bright Wonderful New Year of 2026. Yes. Hale Tina Turner. Yeah. And to his vagina. Yeah.

And to this vagina. You're right. Let's heal that vagina. Please. Or just get rid of. Well, ropes of goo. I'm pulling out. Just get rid of.