Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Noisy Crickets

Episode Date: January 17, 2019

This week, Ben 'n' Henry get into mysterious radio signals from deep space, the kidnapping of Jayme Closs, Cuba's extremely noisy crickets, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop. On the left. Side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Man, oh man, sometimes you just wake up with sister hazel in your head. I don't know, I don't think that's true. Sometimes you just wake up, sister hazel comes through the mists of 1997, was that the time period with sister hazel? Oh definitely, yeah, something around there. Wakes up in the back of my head and then I just see the scenes of me with the crossbow in the mall. Just like shooting it at various people outside of the kiosk. Well that's not a good imagery.

Hard to say what it is that I see in you, if I always need like, am I, is this it? Am I the one who's going to bring the end times? You're a Harry Polish Cupid, that's to say the least. All right, this is Side Stories everyone. I am Ben Kitzel. That's Henry Zabrowski. If you hear a third voice, that would be Travis Morningstar. Occasionally he gets the courage to speak. I'm very brave today. All right. Shut up Travis. I'm sorry to mean to yell at you, it's nice when you speak. I wanted to address something real quick up top. I see a couple of people, like they'll post about the show, various sort of like, either an article about the show, or one of those sayings.

And unfortunately I have the Google Alert, so I see all of them coming. You have the Google Alert? Oh yeah. I'm going to say there's no need for that. I keep a tab on my friends and my enemies. All right, very good. A part of that, but I just want to correct, do you know that our show started in 2011? I think a lot of people think that the show started in 2015 because we had a server problem and all the shows got re-uploaded. So when I see someone say, you'd be like, I can't believe the language that was used in episode 22 of Life's Fun.

And I was like, well, it's because we were children. And I think it was more like we were drunk children. Well, you know, the entertainment business is not easy and you got to do a lot of exploring as artists to find what works, what doesn't work. And if we inhibit people from doing said exploration, we're going to have the worst entertainment and the worst comedy in the history of the world. We can go back to what comedy used to be in the movie, The Favorite, where they just throw tomatoes at chunky people. Which actually now that I think about it, I'm not against it. That is pure comedy. That is back when it was totally okay to put a mentally handicapped man in a wig in a fancy conference room.

That was a fancy game for a bunch of rotten fruit Adam. And they're all laughing and shit. I get it. Part of me, I understand why they're laughing. Oh, he was an entertainer. Of course, The Favorite, check out that movie. It's very good. Also, quick update. We're not going to do a deep dive because there hasn't been too much new development legally.

But Ed Buck, more people that have had interactions with him have come forward and have said similar things to what we assume to be the truth that he drugs people. And obviously the horrible things that can go along with all that. When you get to talk to politicians on Top Hat, do you have to wear like a spinny hat and like a big lollipop to pretend to be a child for them to speak to you? I don't talk to the donors. The donors are where it gets real gross. The politicians, I think a lot of them leave the donor meetings and they're just like, ugh, it's so disgusting. But because they are slaves to money, because that's the way our system sets up, is set up, they just have to deal with it? But that's the problem is that they have to deal with it. They're forced to deal with these people, other ancillary people in power that seem to create what appears to be some form of either pedophile ring.

I don't even know what that is. I don't know if the cabal of ring, you know that, but of course, every fifth senator at least has been like, let me touch his toe. Let me touch the child's toe. I know that this is the sacrifice and I don't want to subtly the virgin child, but can I please just suck on its feet? Well, of course it did happen with, I believe it was, was it Haskins, Hastins? Hastert. Hastert, yes. Oh, alright.

Yeah, dude, she was the speaker of the fucking house. Yep, nasty. So we'll get into this, obviously this is a very complicated issue. But the part of it was a picture of a young victim of Ed Buck that apparently just took a picture. It's a young male who took a picture in a mirror with a guy that sort of looked like Ed Buck. I mean, pretty close to looking like Ed Buck, but with a scraggly meth beard and a bit of a pipe on his knee there. Like it was his little nephew. Absolutely.

So it's pretty nasty what's going on over there. I'm trying to think of the name of the Republican congressman that I know from Fox News. I can't remember his name. He fills in for Laura Ingram every now and again. I don't really agree with the guy much, obviously, but he was telling me that the reason that he had to stop was because he couldn't make the phone calls anymore for soliciting cash. Oh, that's sad. But I don't know what's true or what's not. I mean, obviously as politicians, I guess they have to dance for whoever puts cash in their diapers.

Yeah, they did. Sure. I mean, but I like people who make hardliners. I want some hardliners. Like Jesse Ventura, he didn't need the strings. No. He didn't need these puppet strings of the puppeteers. No, Ventura was-

He was the best. He got a subway system in Minneapolis. Anyway, this is not able to get his top hat. Let's get on to some crime here. What do we got? Murder Mountain. Murder Mountain. We don't want to go into too many details about it, but the show is fantastic.

Oh, it is great. And talk about, tell me about, tell me, have you been cheaping up while watching this thing? Well, okay, so Murder Mountain, for those that don't know, it takes place in Humboldt County, and it's all about the drug trade. The fucking motherland. No, you're talking, you say drug trade. You're talking about literally, it's, it is beautiful. It's gorgeous. Organic groceries.

These are not, this is not the drug trade that they are involved in. Oh, there's a bit of trade going on. This is what Gaia gave to us to allow us to live together as a society. Right. That's what weed is. Okay. I'm not going to disagree with that. Murder Mountain, I want to say also Netflix did a good job keeping it six episodes.

Yeah. 42 minutes, roughly each episode. They didn't do the, let's make it 15 freaking episodes of an hour long. So we just repeat the same shit over and over again. So that was smart on their part. But there's a couple of parts about this that I just want to hit up top. It can go too deep. No.

But number one. Are we calling small spoiler alert? This is like, the egg isn't quite spoiled, but it's been out of the refrigerator for like a day. Yes. It's an egg in France or the UK where they don't believe in refrigerating eggs. You watch this series in the entire time. Because Natalie, like, you know, she's way into the true kind part of it. She likes all the dynamics of it.

Right. But I'm sitting watching that fucking weed porn dude. It is weed porn. Those big, thick old titties are them crystallized fucking little mamas, man. I don't know. Those sweet puppies, man. I just want to slap them in my lips. The terpenes just flying around.

Uh-oh. At one point, the Dookie Brothers, who are crushing it, by the way. The Dookie Brothers are two of my favorite characters, specifically one of the Dookie Brothers in the whole documentary. This is kind of a spoiler, but let's just say he tries to go legit. And then at one point, he's just behind. As soon as this happens, as soon as he does, well, should I say- Yeah, as soon as he goes legit.

Okay. He gets legit. He gets approval. He gets approval to run his legal farm. Yes. And he's like- Yeah, dude. Yeah.

He'll clicks on the way out of the whatever place he was at there, some government building, sits down before he even shuts the door of his pickup truck. He rips a bong. He's behind the wheel of a vehicle. He just got legit. He knows he's on camera. Anyway, the Dookie Brothers- You want him.

I hear they have great weed. You want him stoned. I guess so. You actually don't want him sober because he can't drive when he's sober. He might be one of those guys. I don't know. He won Cannabis Cup with this strain called Z-Kittles that I'm trying to fucking find anywhere. If you're one of the Dookie Brothers, fucking get this shit to me.

I want to put it in my fucking dome piece. So it went legal and fucking just these big fucking thick ass, sweet ass fucking nugs, right? And he was just like, well, now it's time to bring- That's time to bring my fucking family into the family business, man. And he's got his like daughter and his son out there in the weed plants. And he's like, this one's called Lucille. Like he's got them all named. Oh, he does.

But there's so much keef in the air. Like he showed this one thing where he was shaking one of the plants and all the crystals are like slight and everywhere. And it's so fucking scrumptious. It looks like Parmesan cheese for fucking cheaper today. What would you pay to walk through that cloud of keef? $5 every square foot to walk through? But the whole time it's like these kids are just covered in fucking keef. It sprinkles on ice cream.

It's not good. No. All right. So check out Murder Mountain. It's also really fascinating. It's not all just about murder. Obviously that's a key component. But they also talk about what legalization did to the small pot growers.

How it really made it difficult for a lot of people to maintain their pot farms because of the regulation, because of the taxes, which is why if you ever have a conversation with someone, I am pro legalization. But folks who are not, they'll say they want it decriminalized. And then it doesn't sound really smart in a criminal justice sense. But that's why they say that because the regulations do put a lot and they did put a lot of folks out of business. They did see it coming though. They could have prepared a little bit harder for it. But I understand that they're in love with the lifestyle too.

Whereas there's one guy on this on Murder Mountain that all he talks about is like, yeah, we're the real estate, the American Outlaws. That's what we do. And he's wearing a bandana half the time. But then he blows up the fucking spot of the entire industry. He shows them how they move the money. He shows them where he hides his money. He shows himself being like, you fucking...

He literally takes a military grade ammo box. And he shows the camera person exactly where he hides it. But then he doesn't realize like, now it's not hidden. It doesn't hide. It's a secret. But then if you say it, it's not a secret anymore. So he's a moron. And also the best collection of old dudes in the world.

Yes. Like the one guy that had been there since the 1960s and they built their whole farm with their dicks out. Completely nude with those shoes. He's like, that's how it was done back in the day. We had roses out near the back of the farm. And man, sometimes it pedals to touch your head or your dick. And you're just like, is that my wife? They like followed a weed flower out to the forest.

And we're like, this is it, man. It was. This is it, dude. I will say naked farming is a young man's game. My God, I am really happy they chose to put on some vests, some slacks, even a t-shirt. Because they are not looking great with the lifestyle. I haven't seen the show. Is it Murder Mountain?

Is it true? It's true crime. It is true crime. Murder Mountain isn't the name of the strain of a weed. No, it probably will be now. Murder Mountain is technically the nickname that one of the areas of Homeville County received and because it's basically become a hotbed of violence that has been both exaggerated and intensified by legalization.

But it's also partially them sticking to their own outsider lifestyles and refusing to change. Yeah. So, and over the years, a part of the reason why I think legalization is good is that Murder Mountain's got filled with fucking like, it's not just old hippies anymore. Oh, no. It's also like, it's fucking the cartels got involved and then the fucking their Russians up there. There's all this kind of weird mixtures of all these criminal countercultures where it's

been like, for me, I'm speaking for myself, but I'm a certain kissle that you agree. This has been like, we're for the small weed farmer. Oh, yeah, of course. I'm a little niche weed company. I'll fucking blast it out. I'll smoke all that fucking ish and I will tell everybody how thick and chunky the clouds are and how lavender the fucking smoke is that's fucking swirling around my heels. The thing that makes me most excited for 2019 is the possibility of legalization here in

New York State. You all need it, man. We don't need to be making salsa up here, but we should be making some marijuana. New York City. Henry mentioned that they were Russian. There were some Russian up there, although they look to be walking pretty slow to me. I'll be here all week. Let me just jump out of the car right now and I'm sorry if someone hit a tree laughing so hard.

Wow. Wow. Yes. And Murder Mountain just lastly shows you it's really interesting from a criminal justice standpoint to the cops and the people on Murder Mountain. They have a tumultuous relationship and then legalization happens and the people are like, we could use some police work, sir. The cops are like, you've been mean to us for 40 years.

And then the people are like, but can you do your jobs? And then the cops are like, well, if you apologize. Well, it's unfortunately it's this big fucking war of the squares versus the hippies that still exists. It's these guys that are just kind of born, which I understand you fought this weed war for a long time. Oh, my God. County, the denizens of it, they didn't want you there.

They fought you. They used to say that they would be afraid for their lives. Oh, my God. On some level, there's like some kind of chip on their shoulder, but also you're the fucking cops. Get over it. Yeah. Anyway, they have some fascinating footage as well of the war on drugs, what it looked like during the 80s, literally squats.

It looks like a military invasion. And all they do is go there and they pull out the plants and it's like congratulations. I don't know why you need an AR-15 to do this, but nonetheless. Anyway, I don't want to be too Doug Benson about this, but when I saw them grinding up them plants, I wanted to cry. They were in parts of the time where they were just being like, they were hacking up these plants. It was horrible.

Be like, you seriously are not going to look at those cones of freedom. You're not going to look at those big fucking sackules of deliciousness and not just stick your face in them, you fucking assholes. You're really going to grind this shit up. Take some of it home. It's nasty what they do. Have you guys heard of meth mountain? No, they can do it.

Maybe you can break down meth mountain. That's Chattanooga, Tennessee. I love it. A guy in a bus told me that. Oh, really? Meth mountain. Okay. All right.

Do they need a whole mountain? I don't think they need a whole bathtub. I think you can make it in a small sink. I'm just saying divert some of that police attention to meth mountain. Maybe leave marijuana mountain alone. An incarceration isn't the answer, but again, let's move on. Murder mountain, check it out. Let's go on to our first story.

Now, this story has made national attention. This place, and it's another Wisconsin story, and I don't know what the hell is going on with my home state of Wisco, but we have had some crime stories there. They've had crime stories in the past, but it seems to me it's like they got sick of Florida being the front runner, so they decided to catch up. I guess so. So this dude, Jake Patterson, he was formally charged with two counts of first degree homicide. So what the hell happened?

This 13-year-old girl, Jamie Kloss, evidently, he wanted to kidnap her for many, many months, and he planned this out. So he broke into her home, was there for about four minutes. He killed her dad. His name was James, and her mom Denise. The dad was 56. Denise was 46. Now he held Jamie for three months evidently under his bed.

There is a lot. It is fucked. This story is fucked because he saw her. He said he had this kind of extended fantasy about her. He tried to kidnap her two times. The first time he showed up, Patterson said that there were too many cars in the driveway. And then the second time he showed up, he just didn't go through with it. And then it's just the way he did it.

He did a full-on like SWAT team, just himself on slot of the house, where he showed up in the middle of the night, knocked on the door in full fucking blacks, like we had a face mask on. He opened the door, he shot the dad in the head. In their chaos, they went up to the top bathroom. The mom was covering Jamie, trying to protect her. He walked in, he tried to get her to tape up the daughter. She wouldn't do it, so he shot her in the head and then took her out of there.

And then she was with him for 88 days, and there's not a lot of information about what happened. We don't know. Yeah, we haven't. It sounds like he tried to kind of, it was a little aerial castro-y. Right. It was just like he did the whole like, he took the dog leash, you just stay here, he plays the dog leash, he stays to the book.

Oh, that story was real. Like he tried to like do the brain trick on her by being like, you have to leave here, I'll find you no matter what. And eventually, she was put under a bed that had these like weighted things around it so he could tell when she leave, and then he just left. And finally, she was just like, oh, I can just get the fuck out of here. Yeah, she broke the psychological hold and the physical barriers. This is what he told the teenager.

13 years old. He said something bad would happen if she were to move the barriers that Patterson had built. And at times was stuck under the bed with no food, water, or bathroom breaks for up to 12 hours. Kloss also told detectives that Patterson hit her once, quote, really hard on the back. The day of her escape, Patterson left the bedroom and told Jamie he'd be gone for five or six hours and again forced her to hide under the bed.

This time, however, she moved the barriers and crawled out of the house. Good for her, man. Absolutely. She seems to be in vaguely good spirits. Obviously, we're going to hear more and more as we go. I want to hear more from Patterson about, obviously, his mentality, but it just seems to be, it's fucking, I mean, it's rough because it's scary. It's really, really scary because of it.

This is the thing of nightmares. This is totally the thing of nightmares. Well, because you know what it is, it's, you want, you want to say, and a lot of people do say that a lot of abductions and these kind of things happen spur of the moment. But it's like, sometimes it's the opposite. Sometimes you've been cased out and I think that's a part of, if like, maybe weed doesn't help it, but like, you know, I watch cars on the street. Well, I think you're slowly losing your mind.

I think you're eroding, you know, things like rationality and stuff. Gaining clarity. And I see stuff like that, but it's like, if you're seeing, you're being good, like, don't take it lightly. If we feel like you're seeing the same car a lot, right? Right. Even if you take a little picture of their license plate, I've done that a couple of times. And then you can double, you can cross reference to see if you're being tailed.

Okay, so very good, very good police work, junior detective. Wait till you see, wait till you see what happens in my life when I phone, when this career finally gives up on me. Right, right. Especially I will be a private detective. That is a part of what murder mountain showed me is that I will do that. Oh, the private detectives in murder mountain are legitimately heroes. So after Jamie escaped from the house, she ran into a person named G Ann Nutter.

She was out there walking her dog and she was like, she begged her for help because she escaped. Patterson went outside of his house. He went back home. He's like, oh my God, where is she? He went outside of his house and he was driving around for like 10 minutes. And this is where the cops actually pulled him over. So the cops spotted a car that could possibly be Patterson's and followed it, eventually

conducting a traffic stop after the vehicle passed its listed address. When Patterson was ordered out of the car, he said, quote, I did it. So there you go. I did it. So because you really want to do it that happy? Is there really going to be that braggadocious? I think that this guy is a freaking lunatic. I have no idea, but because she escaped, caused him to go searching and was able to get his

ass busted. So, you know, she's an absolute fighter and a warrior and it's just going to be devastating, going forward, obviously, trying to cope with the loss of your parents. And, you know, I can't, I don't, I don't see how you ever trust anything ever again. No, I don't know. I hopefully she'll have time. Can he all, but hopefully she also gets like the PTSD therapy. I imagine she'll need it also.

What's fucked up too? I mean, we just don't know what happened in the house. No, we don't. He was really young. He was 21. He was 21. And I think that's interesting. He had a whole family.

You'd say that he'd have family over all the time and people coming in and out of the house. So we had a network of people and he said that he'd play music in her room so she couldn't hear what they were talking about in the other room. Okay, this is the same. Going back to what you said earlier with Castro, Castro would have people over as well. It's just, and of course there was one room that you could never go into. How do you, for three months, I just feel like I would know that my friend was harboring someone against their will.

You know, you know immediately. I mean, this is for the listener too. If somebody has a room that you cannot go to and it is not, if someone has a room that they cannot go into and it is not within a week or two of Christmas, go in that room. Go in the room. Like, I'm going in the room. I understand if it's a Christmas surprise. Sure, of course.

One of those you've got to have a surprise is one of those things where you'd be like, whoa, you know, but if they keep acting like that and you're like, hey, it's March. Right. You know what I mean? Like, my birthday is in July. I mean, our anniversary is in August. Christmas is long gone, yeah. I should be able to go in that room unless, are we doing trading spaces here that don't show?

Right, trading spaces. Yes, in the best case scenario, you have what happened with Ed Gein's home, just a perfectly preserved room. The worst case is you have a person in there. Well, I guess the worst worst is you have a body in there, but the second worst is you have a person in there. And then you can be a hero and save them. So good Lord.

Check out your friends. Check out the closed rooms. Gacy was the same way. The garage. His wife couldn't go into the garage. Come on, can't go into a room in your own home. There is a problem. Absolutely.

There's a problem in there. Even if it is, because what if it is perfectly preserved room? Because normally that means a sign of intense grief. Normally it means being like, this was Belinda's room. And they keep it like preserved exactly from whenever Belinda disappeared. Oh, of course. I understand grief. Grief does come in many ways.

Yeah. But like maybe someone like that, was there Maria Kondo's at the Japanese woman doing all the clutter shit? Mary Kondo, yeah. If it doesn't spark joy, get rid of it. That's what I say. So if it's the dolly of your dead little girl, Maria Kondo is going to say throw it out. No, you can't throw it out.

I'm assuming Belinda has a lot of 1990s professional wrestlers on the wall. She's probably got diesel, AK, Kevin Nash up there, looking all strong. Maybe a couple of posters she got from the carnival. You know, so you want to keep that room perfect because that's historic stuff. Could be black molds. Could be black mold, yes. Embarrassing and dangerous. Could be a priceless sword collection.

You never know. Could be one of the Faberge eggs that you don't want broken or stolen. Possibly. And we got a sword story coming up here. I want to see this shit. I want to see this shit my fucking self, though. That's what I'm saying. I want to see it shit let me in there.

Come on. I'm good. I'm good. I'll tip. I'll give you a standard donation. Go to Zach Baggins house and be like, I want to see the doll for Manabelle right the fuck now. And then we can have hors d'oeuvres.

Then we can sit and talk about our future business endeavor. Sure, absolutely. This next story is coming straight from the upper echelons of the universe. Apparently a mysterious radio signal was from deep space was detected and it seems to be an exact or close to exact replica of an old of a of a blast of radio waves that was received earlier last year. Astronomers have revealed details of mysterious signals emanating from a distance galaxy picked up by telescoping Canada.

The precise nature and origin of the blasts of radio waves is unknown. They say it comes from a source about from about 1.5 billion light years away. It's these 13 they call them fast radio bursts. Okay. Now basic what they should they don't know what the hell this is, but they say these things come like they come through every once in a while. And what's really interesting is that we received a repeater of an old signal, which is a thing that they don't particularly understand what the hell it is.

They think that maybe it could be a neutron star with a very strong magnetic field spinning very rapidly within or maybe two neutron stars merging together that shoot this burst of energy because they saying it's coming from this very like signal rich part of the universe. But there is obviously an intimation that perchance these their source of this FRB is alien. Now, what I like cool guardian is that the guardian goes through the alien theories very without being fucking pedantic about it. They don't like because you know CNN is like, oh, maybe it came from a little green man

which infuriates me right, which they but at least say, well, one of the theories. Okay. What what are these FRBs? Are they a pointed message sent to us that we have yet to decipher which they are saying they can't find a discernible pattern in this signal. They don't know if it's like it contains information or not. And there are also some people saying that it could be a wake from some sort of interstellar craft that maybe comes out of it.

We just don't know. Right. It's just more of that. I love being in this interesting world where they're being a little bit more open to admit. Yeah. We just don't know what this shit. I mean, honestly, BBC, BBC.com, the news story, they just say they end this story with the possible theories.

They just say here they include a neutron star with a very strong magnetic field as Henry said, spinning very rapidly to neutron stars merging together and among minor and among a minority of observers, some form of alien spaceship. So it is it is interesting how that notion has become a little bit more mainstreamed because Henry is right for the longest time for forever, really. Ever since War of the Worlds got everyone so scared they've been laughing laughing off the very notion of extraterrestrial existence. So that's kind of fascinating.

I was also thinking maybe it could be coming from that Tesla that Elon Musk threw up into space, but I don't think it got to 1.5 billion light years away. The way I get it is they probably only got to a million miles away and it broke down. Yeah. I mean, I didn't tell you what that you had to get all the replacement parts. So it's about floating through space and that's going to be time for them to come in. So maybe just do a million fucking light years away. I don't think that's what it was.

No, I don't think so. We're causing a lot of traffic accidents today. A lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. But it's very interesting because they said the first bit, because it's these 13 signals that they're getting, right, and these little bursts. So the first one that they got from this, what is in British Columbia, it's the Chime Observatory. Okay.

It's consists of four 100 meter long semi cylindrical antennas. It looks pretty fucking dope. Yep. It's cool. I'd love to have some me and the dookie brothers hanging out next to it. Oh, yeah. Have some lots from CBD lattes and fucking ribbon bongs. It's kind of going through a lot of this, a lot of the footage.

Of course. It's a vision that would just kind of blend all together because our short term memory has been completely destroyed at this point. Yeah. It's been obliterated. They said that the first birch that they got happened as soon as they turned on the fucking antenna for the first time. And it's very interesting that like a year later, they got another one.

Well, they say that they're... They just don't know what the hell it is. Yeah. They're saying that it's possible that there's thousands of these so-called FRBs out there. The first time this was reported, such an event has also been reported once before by a different telescope. So there's multiple witnesses here, multiple different sources. So it is quite fascinating.

I think it's very fascinating. What could it be? I mean, even if it is not an extraterrestrial, it's still fascinating from a science perspective. So there it is. I just like any news that maybe suggests that the universe is more complicated than we understand it. Right. We should not always be worried about like they hear and now and what we're doing.

Like, I don't know, it's just nice to like look towards the skies. Absolutely. Well, speaking of things that are completely not science related, this next story has some political tone to it. It also has someone who believes that people are actually lizards, a self-proclaimed member of the far right group, the Proud Boys, which is of course where you can't masturbate forever. And there's horrible people. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Yeah, I forgot. It's like, shouldn't they be like, they're like the dumpy crew. We've talked about them extensively. I think about four episodes ago on Ablegan's Top and I talked about their so-called leader or ex-leader. Whatever. Whatever.

What a fascinating group of intellectuals. So this dude also believed in the QAnon conspiracy theory. Anyway, his name is Bucky Wolf. He killed his brother in Seattle because with a four foot long sword, he stabbed his bro in the head with that sword because he thought his brother was, quote, a lizard person. So was he correct? I don't think that he was correct, Henry. I don't think that his brother was a lizard person.

Wouldn't you be eating crow right now if he stabbed him in the chest and he transformed into a lizard alien, though? But now, but that did not happen, though. Nope. So I think he is, I would eat crow, yes, indeed, if he did turn into a legitimate lizard person, Bucky Wolf would be onto something, but I think he's really just someone with extreme mental health issues that probably doesn't need to have a four foot samurai sword. It's the samurai sword industry, number one, is irresponsible.

The fact that you could just get them and you're selling them to a highly flammable group of people a lot of the time. But you know, I've maligned sword collections in the past and I think mostly it's just out of pure jealousy. Sure. I wish I had a bunch of swords. I do think that they're fun, but I do think that maybe they do sometimes end up in the wrong hands, especially when it's like, I mean, anybody over 250 pounds with some form

of like Naruto shirt on, like, I feel like if you had a sword, a lot of times those guys are safe. I think it's the opposite if you're more of a bespectacled man with like a sweater on and you got a sword. I'm going to feel like you're going to use this. I think that, you know, we got to have swords out there. We can't be taking people's swords, but what we should do to get a sword or a gun, YouTube, I want a YouTube search history from the last month.

And if I see Q and not, if I see a lot of reptiles and if I see like the world's run by lizard people, you're on it. You got a one week break. I got to think about it. I got to really look at your eyes and see if you can handle it. This guy collected like the chaos emeralds of somebody that would be a murderer. He has QAnon, proud boys, constantly posting about Trump and Christianity. I understand some of the motives a little bit of wanting to move into that world because

it's a whole world of unadulterated support for the mouth breathing loser. And so they have a support network, like they get to go and they get to have a bunch of people to talk about shit QAnon from one hour, since we even did our own episode and now everything, when things pop up, it's way more of just a hobby for these people than anything else. Oh, absolutely. It becomes a character. And then it's just hard when it becomes weaponized.

Yeah, absolutely. When all of a sudden it's like what happened with Pizzagate, it's the same shit where it's just like you have now this guy's killing somebody because he legitimately thinks somebody is a Blizzard alien. And there's a great documentary out there right now. It's called Hillbilly. And it's about the Appalachian community there. But you can see once you're alone in the middle of nowhere, you get in these YouTube holes,

it's so much more fun to think that the world's run by lizards. And it's so much more fun to think that there's some dude behind a curtain named Q who's running and pulling all the strings because it just makes your life much more exciting than pushing carts at Walmart, which is most likely your job. There's not a lot of work out there across this country. But anyway, just quickly. We're scared of life, too, and a part of it is that it then adds order to a life that is chaos.

Absolutely, because life is chaos. So this dude, after he did this, this bucky character, he called the police on himself. Now the killer claimed that he thought his brother was, quote, a lizard. When detectives arrived, he asked them if they saw, quote, other lizards. According to court filings, Wolf has been charged with secondary murder. A Facebook page confirmed to belong to Wolf by a local Seattle TV station as filled, as Travis said, with references to Trump, Pepe the Frog, and who, of course, was embraced by the far right group.

So yeah, so anyway, it looks like this is another example of conspiracy theory fun getting a little out of hand, which is unfortunate for Henry, because we talk about this regularly. Henry likes to dabble in the world of conspiracy. And then all of a sudden, we got Sandy Hook parents being tormented. We got this guy killing his parents, or killing his brother, rather, and a whole series of other people taking this stuff literally. It's hard, because I did an episode of Sam Tripoli's podcast when you wanted to ask me about the state, the state affair of conspiracy theories.

And I was in a rough mood. I shouldn't have just said no. I shouldn't have even done the episode, honestly, because I was just not there to have fun. But I miss having fun with conspiracy. And that's really the problem is that you look at it, and what if there is a touch, a seed of truth of all these things that people are talking about? I do feel sympathy, and I understand, if you did truly believe that there were illusory aliens running the government, you'd want to do something about it.

Or if you believe that QAnon was real, but the thing is that these big, crazy conspiracies just serve as, they serve as, it's smoke screen for what are the real conspiracies, which is like, pizza gate, just distract from the fact that there is institutionalized pedophilia and a lot of different setches of power all over the world. And it seems to be some form of symptom of power. It seems to be something people that strive for power, like nakedly for power, seem to also go into this other world of sexual deviancy because they want power over every living breathing thing.

Well, and it's also part of their game. They get a thrill, like you say, how can you watch these politicians in like a hearing or something, you know? And they're like, it looks so boring, but the game is what they are not doing, what you don't see them do. It's the other side. It's the shadow side. There is some weird inextricable link between sexuality and power, and so I think that also

comes out in full display when you have some people that crave power, they exhibit power through sexuality. And you're also trying to find a origin for the corporatocracy that we're in right now. And a part of this, people want to say lizard crew, the reptilians got involved in the elite families that control this world and basically powered by this extraterrestrial energy. That's how they got their hand all inside of the machinations of how the entire world works and all the shit. But actually, it's more mundane, unfortunately, because I love it, it was just a bunch of

aliens we could just go shoot. It would be more fun than, you know, just the big banks getting together and basically running shit in the Fed and all that kind of stuff. But I think that's also very interesting, the Rockefellas. We will eventually do, we will, Marcus and I have threatened this in the past, but it will happen. We will bore our audience to death in the last year of last podcast, whatever, whatever it is, doing our master work, which will be going through each family of the Illuminati.

And we're going to go through all of this because I do believe in a lot. I mean, like having two Clintons trying to be in the White House was not a fucking coincidence. Having the fucking bushes be completely involved in the White House is not a fucking coincidence. No, of course, having Obama laughed his way through his presidency and set up for where we are now. And it's like, it's all of this bullshit where we have to, like we have to, there are elite families that run the world. Well, you know, it's difficult to get those kind of connections.

It takes a long time to get the ground game out there up and running it. So it certainly helps to have a long history of building blocks, basically, that then can catapult you to the presidency much easier, because obviously I think W had a much easier path than HW, because, of course, he lost to Reagan in 1980, but we should not be talking about this anyway. But going back to Bucky Wolf, I'm just looking at his Facebook. And I think there is, like, some kind of correlation. If your Facebook profile photo looks like there's Vaseline covering the lens as you

take it, that, I think that means you are more likely to stab someone in the head with a sword. All right. Well, that's a trap this morning, star. That's a bold, bold, police-like prediction. Portrait mode. He does not stab anyone in the head with a sword. All right.

Well, that guy is on his way to an audition. Let's move on. We're getting a little bit in the political here today, but, you know, just because it just so happens to work out for us. I want to talk about conspiracy a little bit, this concept, right? So recently in The Guardian, again, I do love The Guardian, but they, I believe they're spreading disinformation about this thing called, there was a sonic attack on a U.S. Embassy in Havana in 2017, and they're trying to say that it was fucking crickets.

All right. The U.S. Embassy in Havana more than halved its staff in 2017 when diplomats complained of headaches, nausea, and other ailments after hearing penetrating noises in their homes and nearby hotels. Now, there's a lot of people that had said that this was caused by some form of acoustic weapon. Right. That it's basically a high, it's a persistent, high-pitched drone that's used to, uh, discordinate

people's brains and hurt them physically, but they're trying to say, with this analysis, this new group, a bunch of scientists got together, they're like, no, no, actually, it's crickets. All right. Well, what's interesting about this is we know for a fact that sound weapons have been used in the past, and they will continue to be used, they're really perfecting them. We saw this happen in the protest in Ferguson, Missouri a couple of years back. They literally used sound weapons.

Yes. We saw it on national television, on iPhone cameras, on everybody's cell phone cameras. So it definitely is in well within the realm of possibility. And if you don't think that they are doing things like this, well, I got a surprise for you. They've been doing these things for a long time. Google, if you get a chance, the CIA poison dart gun. When we talk about this sort of James Bond-like weapon array, and you're like, that's for

the movies. In reality, it happens. It is used. Basically, this was a dart gun that held a frozen pellet, and the pellet, the poison in which it was literally just the pellet, the poison would stop your heart, simulate a heart attack. And the only thing that would be visible on the body as a possible intrusion would be a super small, less than a freckle size dot.

So the CIA and all of these, I mean, governments all across the world have been perfecting weaponry like this, like the sonic boom weapons, and I don't see why this would be even in the realm of conspiracy. To me, this is pretty, I mean, this is what they do. Something is being covered up for some reason, so I don't know if it's just because they don't want, you know, the nature of their visit there or something. There's something that's connected to this. I was researching into the ATIP, the program, the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification

Program, which was, the reality of it was revealed in December of 2017 with several videos of these UFOs that have been now extensively written up by the Pentagon. If you read the report on the Tic Tac UFO, when that came out in December of 2017, there an actual Pentagon report of it, it's pretty fucking crazy, but I'll get into that later. But the more it's about how, when ATIP was researching these UFO sightings that they were getting, right, basically, they were going through all of this, these piles of raw data, a part of what was declassified about it was the list of reference materials that they pulled to help to describe what they were seeing.

Some of the reports are not, but some of them weren't, and some of them were, but the shit that was, was stuff that's like, what the fuck are you talking about? The Pentagon, it's like, it's gravitational engines, warp drives, going through wormholes, and these are very, very serious, very intense educational papers about the physics involved in these things working out. So the Pentagon has been thinking about some wiggity fucking shit for a long time. Well, why do you think they need 700 billion bucks? They got all the money in the world to play with, and if you are on the inside, I gotta

say, it would be kind of fun to just be like, how do we get this thing off the ground? Exactly. This article suggests that it's the, like you said, Henry, like crickets are the cause of the sound, but the diplomats actually receive concussion-like injuries. Yeah, and they were vomiting. And they're just because they were too much of a pussy for Cuban crickets? Well, okay, so this is it. So according to this professor of sensory biology at the University of Lincoln, this

is what he says. He said, the recording is definitely a cricket that belongs to the same group. Okay, but then if you actually listen to the footage, the crickets' mating call on the Cuban recording did not match up perfectly. The sound recorded in Havana, Havana, Havana, had an uneven pulse structure, which is not seen in calling insects. So it looks like they found a researcher, and you can find a researcher to deny climate change.

You can find researchers, they're just human beings, so there's gonna be one for all of you, one for everyone. It seems like they found a researcher that says this is crickets, and then they also say, but then it looks like it wasn't done, the sound did not match up. But yeah, they tried, they made it match up by like, be like, but if you play it through one speaker in this one environment, it sounds like that. And you're like, okay, well, you just now just told us it definitely was a sonic attack, but you don't want us to talk about it being a sonic attack.

So like in this version of Pinocchio, Jimny Cricket starts singing when you wish upon a star and Gepetto's eyes start bleeding. That'll happen. She just took it, sees it out, and shit, that'd be fucking dope. That's what I'm talking about. According to Gerald Pollack, who studies how animals detect and discriminate sensory signals, he says the paper shows how the crickets' song could, when echoed to be expected in an indoor setting, are taken into account, produce sound strikingly and quantitatively

similar to the one provided by the AP. I find it to be a plausible explanation, but then he also says, except perhaps for an occasional sleepless night, no one has suffered ill health as a result of cricket calls. So as Travis pointed out, these people were sick, they were vomiting, they had concussions. It doesn't sound like a cricket to me. Think about that, right? Because oh, this is exactly what it is. Would it not have, in the room, as soon as they played it, wouldn't they all be like

all sick and shit? That shows you, that's not the sound. Bugs don't need this shit, by the way. They already have, the deck is stacked against spiders and bugs of all types. We don't need any more propaganda for people to dislike bugs. That's what this is, right? I think this is a sick move on their part. And of course, we know that Cube has been experimenting with weapons for quite a long

time. They have a long history of it. And these are diplomats. I mean, these aren't people, you can't chalk this up to the local yokel out in Arkansas or something, being abducted or experiencing something. These are people who, they wouldn't have no reason. Like 90 diplomats, right? Yeah, it was quite a bit.

And they just pay a bunch of noises just so they have a reason to leave and they could sneak the children that were in their rooms out the back door. Is that what this is? I really don't think they had to do that. Our cricket sounds so common in Cuba that they're like, you know, that the cow goes moo. Do they have like a different version where it's just cricket? Goes, Sometimes you get a nice little camping trip, once you start here, those crickets

can be pretty loud. But again, I've never had the sound as like grinding metal. That's what they describe the sounds or buffeting of air. Like as if a car was moving by with its windows down. All right. So there are sonic attack. And I'm not talking about the shit that you have after you eat it, Sonic. You know, I've never eaten a Sonic.

It's delicious. So we'll move on from the sound machine, but I just want to say this in closing on that conversation the world isn't run by lizards but it doesn't mean that you have to be like just fed everything don't don't swallow everything you're fed when it comes to these things these these are these are real possibilities and I think extremely probable that these machines would exist and obviously they don't want us to know about it because that would greatly affect them negatively. I also believe that anything is possible within the infinite realms

of our permeable reality in terms of the fact that we generate a reality all the time we don't really understand what reality is we don't really know what information is. I'm not going to discount that they are not lizard aliens but I will say I don't think that they have a understanding of what our life is or maybe an interest in what our life is the way youth would think that it is it's far more complex weird interdimensional thing and it's not just them hanging out with Hillary Clinton watching her eat a baby at John Modesta's house. Well I'm gonna like I'm gonna say I don't believe in the lizard aliens but that's fine

because we're allowed to and also just lastly this is a point that I was thinking about when it comes to media and stuff don't let them edit your life for you you edit your own life you can take your new information taking your info you edit your own reality anyway you really you got did you get blue pill this morning no man I didn't take any pills other than Prozac and my other one yeah you take them you take those are there are there any cases of the Miami sound machine giving people concussion like injuries that'll be so cool glorious Stefan just comes out and just being like are you ready for the truth we're

like yeah rhythm's gonna get you and then it's okay Henry you have a correction to make now this is a correction that was sent to me by I mean I don't mean I don't ever want to spread disinformation I like to have Luciferian honesty anywhere I go sure this is from a listener and so in the name of honesty I'm reading this and I hope it finds you well the subject of his email was Henry please read this Bigfoot has a small cock whoa what hi Henry my boy from I were listening to the latest side stories I'd heard about your obsession with Bigfoot cock contrary to popular belief and thanks to my

amazing biology professor Bigfoot would have a small penis why humans have the largest penis in both absolute size and proportion wise compared to apes really since the average human penis is around 15 centimeters while chimps and gorillas are around 10 centimeters and 5 centimeters respectively wow however chimps have testicles around two times larger than human test huh poor gorillas have testicles about point five times the size of human testicles all right but I mean whatever but it's most likely differences in ape culture are responsible for differences in the penis size chimps

excluding bonobos live in a patriarchal society with multiple males and females due to living in a patriarchal society female chimps don't get a choice in their sexual partners so males have to compete with males and they have to have larger testicles to produce more sperm for a greater chance at making a little baby champ so they are inherently creating things with smaller dicks and bigger balls huh by contrast they're peaceful matriarchal cousins with the bonobos they really have hetero and homosexual relations for anybody I understand a matriarchal society is supposed to be better we get it all

right gorillas have both small testicles and a penis because the female gorillas they live in in harems with no choice in their mates so see what happens that's what happens when you take competition out of the marketplace this is me interesting males only need to compete with other males they just wrestle to win their harem and now for humans we change the actual anatomy of our penis due to bipedalism and culture apes all have bones in their penis and must flex the penis muscles in order to ejaculate oh my however humans lack a bone the lack of a bone is thought to be a combination of walking upright and

wanting to show off to females when fully aroused some anthropologists believe humans used to be matriarchal based society and females chose their mates and would judge mates based on their penis oh they still do I promise you that go yeah but I don't take it out in the day you don't take it I know that I'm just saying you don't see many small dongs in the adult film industry for a reason no not only but that's paid paid students sometimes husbands have normal penises I could tell that for a fact okay based on the above studies if a big foot is an eight most likely they all have a smaller penis in humans since they

are by petal there is a chance that those proportions of humans might be skewed to be similar to chimpanzees I don't know because are they are they apes or are they truly a combination of the two and if they are by petal does that not make the penis longer but I know but a big foot goes back to the email but a big put is a time traveler that needs probably just a very hairy Polish man who doesn't have access to razors and at this point is too afraid to go to the barber for fear of being shot we would assume he has whatever the average penis size is for a Polish man this is based on my very hairy Polish boyfriend

who looks like a big foot when he's all natural Hail Satan from Remy all Polish men are pretty much stock standard I would think so all right everyone will that wraps up this week's side stories thank you all so much for purchasing our live special you can get it out there on the internet www last podcast live.com so thank you all so much for the nice comments and you can message LP on the left on Instagram or Henry Dr. Fantasty on Insta Instagram and I've been always side stories LP otl at gmail.com we love getting your stories we love your feedback we're gonna do more reading of emails in the

future because I think they're fun oh yeah that was fascinating regarding the genitalia of the big foot little inside and insider information so yeah put a message us or tag us and I'll try to put it on my Instagram feed also and we're just have a lot of fun with it and I think it's important to remember so again tack in 2019 aggressively getting out there mixing up no stone unturned no weed on lit all right and so I'm gonna start as a quote from Robert E. Howard from the power of Conan the power of Crom himself this is what I'm using a fuel me this year okay now this is an author this yes okay yes this is an

estates man okay but it's it's more true than the the pitiful words from a senator okay I have known many gods he who denies them is as blind as he who trust them too deeply I seek not be on death it may be the blackness of aired by the Nomadian skeptics or Crom's realm of ice and cloud or the snowy plains and vaulted holes of the Nordheimers Valhalla I know not nor do I care let me live deep while I live let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate the hot embrace of white arms the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson and I am content that teachers

and philosophers brood over questions of reality in illusion I know this if life is illusion that I am no less an illusion and being us the illusion is real to me I live I burn with life I love I slay and am content honestly if you said that was from Alex Jones I would have also I mean he's just an intense man Robert Howard is very very intense man committed suicide real that's horrible yes so make sure you love cuz then you'll laugh because if not you're gonna end up like Robert E Howard and you're gonna not be living that's right you gotta live laugh love that's wonderful triple L baby triple L let's see I guess that's

of I guess that's it I hope everyone has a wonderful week is that a thing to say sure yeah sure all right everyone hail yourselves hail Satan maghustalations hail me and enjoy your week like kiss oh sad sister hazel still my head dude get it out of your head fucking blow my brains out