Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Northern Exposure

Episode Date: October 22, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: Demi Lovato communicates with aliens, a Mothman sighting at O'Hare Airport, the mayor of Anchorage receives a bizarre death threat, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the lost town on the left side stories What are you up to I just another lost ghost kissal. Oh, no No, you know why why because I'm the whole world's just what happened to me these days It's cockamamie. It is just it is absolutely. I'm gonna go and ahead and use the trademark term Redunculus. It really is my friend. Are you doing okay though? I mean we're dealing with that. Yeah, we're doing good I want to say I want to float to our masters over at Spotify Because we have a you know, we always have like some big corporate call with them where they say Oh court. We're in quarter three. I sure quarter three, and then I felt the first two. They'll say QE three whoa

That means quarter three. Whoa, that is cool. Yeah, that's pretty wow That's pretty sweet. That's jargon, and I wonder if like we can just straight up say Like I think everybody should get a bullet out of the chamber Before the call. I agree when it comes to zoom and don't be tubing when you're zooming That's what I said funny joke. Did you read that on one of your right-leaning blogs? I actually stole it from Dean Cain Indeed he was Superman and Lois and Clark Superman. What's up everybody? Welcome to side story Is everybody just have to masturbate before they get on a phone call? How long I mean like I'm the horniest person I know yeah of our circle of friends of our good wide group. I am the horniest person we know and I can last

45 minutes without touching my dick. Well, absolutely of course Jeffrey Tubin. He was on a zoom call He was speaking with all of the who's who of WNWC Weren't they on like a live stream? They weren't they like outside they were like doing a show they were going over an election simulation and apparently he was also Simulating sex with his hands. That's so dumb, Kinsley. Stop doing late-night jokes. No, that's good. That was actually good This is weird and heading into Fallon territory. No, Jimmy Fallon wouldn't touch this story This is too hot for TV. No, it's the only thing I'll talk about. Oh, he's funny Alright, so yes, anyway, Jeffrey Dubin. He was caught jerking off on a zoom call

He doesn't he says that he was not aware that the camera was on I mean you're on the call actively the call is going on Just hold what I love the most is the New Yorker, which of course he was a big part of the New Yorker And this was a New Yorker conversation. He was they said Jeffrey Tubin has been suspended. Well, we Investigate the matter you imagine how difficult that's gonna be just be like where was the cock on these strokes If it's a five-stroke jerk off my friend, he's got to be fired I just don't understand because it also it seems to be one of those firing non-fireings where that man Tubin asked to have some time off the deal with personal issues Which is like you don't have to cover it up. We know what the personal issue is you masturbated on a work

It's not even it wasn't even like an in-house call Broadcast yeah Outside at the point. Did you see OJ Simpson's response? You got Roasted by a double murderer and legitimately OJ had a good point he I mean I'm just I'm so tired Simpson right now Anyone that ever attacked you gets busted doing anything. He is living the life in st. Petersburg He knows no one confronts him women still love him. He is doing great in Florida

He is Florida's God and now you get to look at Jeffrey Tubin the man who wrote the book that they turned into the TV show The People vs. OJ Simpson and you get to say you got caught jerking off on zoom It's unfair how life works out, and it just shows you why is it OJ Simpson what would almost like today just one day just today? Who would you rather be Jeffrey Tubin or OJ Simpson? I mean OJ Simpson's got a boat. Yeah, and Jeffrey Tubin just has to be like Don't get I am proud of him 60 years old Just even have just when you're 60 that is the curse of being a man when you are 60 I don't think that you don't like I could see someone in high school. I get that like a high school

I get I bet you that's happening all the time. I guarantee you're a 60 year old man You can just 60 years old you need to lie to your own family. Listen if you need to lie to your own family I'm telling this the 60 year olds are listening to the show if you have to lie to your family in order to create space for you to jerk off I get it. I totally get it. Well, it's very it's very American beauty, isn't it? Absolutely. Yeah, but lie Structure it into your day. How long does masturbating take five minutes? I mean at this point I'm getting this thing done in three and a half now It is straight up have the time to say to your wife and kids. Yeah, actually this calls going long

It's gonna take me to 115 and then you can build it. You have to look at a fake watch on your hand when you have to go This guy's kind of good indeed They have lost all sense of the minutes of this meeting and you can then safely securely jerk off I guess yeah, and that's the truth being a bunch of high school students just being unfettered Yeah, filled with hormones that makes a sense I mean now I don't want to harp on this too much because you know, we're gonna hear about advice from Seth Meyers So let's let's be not as cool Just lastly I do what I will say his statement his statement was I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake

Really believing I was off-camera I apologize to my boyfriend and co-workers and then he goes on to say this is why I know he was jerking off because of this Co this quote right here. I believed I was not visible on zoom. I thought no one on the zoom call could see me I thought I had muted the zoom video. I apologize to my wife friends and family and co-workers, but he is Yeah, anyway, it's difficult. Did you did he come? That is the question that all of us have and I am going to say he probably shrunk up it so fast After he got after he was like they're like Jeff over here. Jeff Jeff. Oh my god I mean you heard everyone starts screaming because some people like you know some great comedians that we've known throughout time

They would just jizz even harder if they heard the screams Well, all right. Oh J Simpson just lastly he did compare tube into pee wee Herman in a short video So if you haven't won, you know what? I'm not driving people to Twitter I'm not driving people to go to some Twitter, but he is on OJ Simpson's Twitter. He wants to check that out It's unfortunate and it just I mean, I don't know Henry by the way, do I smell better? Yeah, you're washing. I took a shower. I finally got heat I got hot water for the first time since I moved to LA as the guy came yesterday He was like you were just living without hot water

I was like yeah, and you had gas in your apartment for a number of years yet I had but yeah, but then I had hot water, but now I took I took my first hot shower yesterday. How do you feel baby feel good? I got so much soap that I had from them from the move that I haven't been using so I got so much soap I'm doing great. You sound like a gull that's washed ashore during an oil accident. Oh remember that the golf the golf Another one is there another spill? Yeah, there's a tanker that's sitting in the middle of the Caribbean right now about to the leak 55 like The million gallons of oil into the Caribbean. No, it's a bit up get honestly get frickin It's like there's a lot of news going on in the world that seems to be overshadowed by I don't know What's going on in America right now? That's like overshadowing all this like other big important news

I think the oil is a huge issue Remember when that pipeline broke and there was a 24-7 camera on it So if you really wanted anxiety, you could just look at it and watch it leave me And it's just never ended All right, well well and speaking of more of better news, okay Do we have we are seeing a spike in UFO activity that I am really really appreciative and there's a gum I got a couple stories. I'm gonna hit up top love it love that art because number one Who do we finally got on team UFO who who do we got I don't know who this is for the kids now

There's a lot of people out there. They'll want to say ufology. It is not for the tweens I think that ufology is for the tweens. I don't think it's for the 50-year-old man No, you're you're wrong It is for the fifth-year-old man to the job is the for the fifth-year-old man to give it to the teens But guess what we're finally finding it take it easy with that sentence We're trying we finally have an ambassador a youth ambassador It's a apology because we thought it was gonna be Tom DeLong We were hoping I thought that it was Tom DeLong for a very long time

Apparently Tom DeLong immediately became a boomer that decided he became the day he became a ufology So you're telling me this is big big ufology breaking news. There's a new celebrity in town Demi Lovato Demi Lovato welcome to the fold. Oh my god That's what I'll say to her if she ever comes to my house for a dinner party. Welcome to the fold and you look up your shirt Can't you see wow? It's bits of chocolate. Wow Demi Lovato This has got to be the biggest celebrity in the female of the female variety. We got one ever been into UFOs Yeah, this comes from this is I honestly think this is the first time I've ever sighted Cosmo on the show This comes from Cosmopolitan magazine the magazine that told you to put ice in your husband's dick Wow UFO

It is UFO Combos have really become mainstream. Yes, they really have look at this Demi Lovato shares UFO sightings on Instagram and says She's contacted aliens Maybe she's talking about some Hollywood agents. Some of these guys seem pretty weird. Oh, they absolutely do They're disgusting. She spent the weekend in Joshua Tree making quote-unquote contact with aliens I've also done that in Joshua Tree But normally that involves a bunch of fucking tequila and a lot of mushrooms to Ben Demi wants the government to Acknowledge the truth about extra trust your life among us actually I'm gonna read it and imagine her voice

Acknowledge the truth. Oh, I don't know. Do not name the wonderful voice of Demi Lovato I'm sorry. I'm immediately pushing her away. This shows the internalized misogyny of the UFO Make it do it do it now do it right because she's beautiful. She's Demi Lovato. I want to acknowledge the truth That's just your case. That's your case, Anthony. Among us. Hello, how do you spend the weekend? Because Demi Lovato was out here making contact with aliens that comes from the writer of this The hair of honor. Oh my god. They got snarky with it where it's like hello How'd you do you spend the weekend? She was out getting fucked by aliens. No, she didn't get fucked by aliens She chose to make love to an alien now. This is they said that she wants to implore humanity

She put a bunch of pictures on the Instagram on heavily curated Her Instagram she's imploring humanity to make contact in an effort to help change the destructive habits That's destroying our planet now. I'm gonna read the whole thing. This is a just as a whole statement. She made over the past couple months I have dug deep into the science of consciousness and experienced not only peace and serenity Like I've never known but I also have witnessed the most incredible Profound sightings both in the sky as well as feet away from me Oh my god first

I know you can continue in a second, but you know if you really saw an alien people run around they start screaming like they're Richard Pryor with his hair on fire and they're like there's a burning in my rectum That's what it sounds like when you meet an alien. She sounds like she just read eat pray love Well, you're gonna see why she's so relaxed and so Keenan why she's so in the moment about this She said the planet is on a very negative path towards destruction But we can change that together if we were to get one percent of the population to meditate and make contact We would force our governments to acknowledge truth about extraterrestrial life among us and change our destructive habits

Destroying our planet now the reason why she seems to have gotten a lot of ready talking points As because she has become a devotee of dr. Steven Greer your favorite I love the Greer were shoes in the business, but he is a piece pedals this line that UFOs are To be celebrated and we need to welcome whatever they are whether they would be specifically if they are of meat and bone These ultra terrestrial so if they are also ultra terrestrials We're supposed to invite them on to the planet Earth, but I am telling you right now Demi Lovato, I'm warning you I'm warning all of us if we decide to all meditate and contact the UFOs at once We may get

Exactly what we're looking for and I don't know if it's going to be all together pleasant Well, Steven Greer number one when it comes to his shoes. He doesn't have the best shoes in ufology He has the only shoes in ufology, which are new balance The only shoes that are one also Henry, I you know, I love you and I want I don't want to burst I don't like to burst bubbles. I really don't know. Yeah, you hate taking baths, but It's true. Yes, that is very true This is all a fraud So the problem is I'm reading

Demi Lovato Oh, yeah, what her stance is a fraud It just listen to you mean to tell me she think you think that she's trying to broaden her base or like like and bring in No, I'm gonna boomer community. She's trying to bring in like men whose wastes are bigger than their inseams Well, she she that's probably that's a great description of her fan base most that is me that is you No, this is halfway through one of her Instagram posts. This is this is her She says this is just some of the evidence from under the stars in the desert sky that can no longer be ignored and must be shared immediately Okay to make contact yourself you can download the CE 5 app

Yeah, and it'll teach you the protocols to connect to life from beyond. She is working with an app company Well, she's working with brought us working with CE 5. No, that is dr. Stephen Greer's company close encounters of the fifth kind This is all a weird shill first dr. Stephen Greer, which I don't particularly understand He is to me is the most untrustworthy figure in you follow You just don't like him nice. No, I don't like him cuz he's not I don't like him just cuz he's not nice He's selling a line of bull Well, I he's selling a line of bull close encounters of a fifth kind It's a great documentary and I you'll leave it feeling slightly uplifted. So God forbid mr. Zabrowski

I am just saying I think that the nature of the anomalous event is neither good nor negative I think that it is neutral and that's the main problems that what you are talking to let's say you do contact an intelligence Why do you think that our? Like like our health and our happiness are a part of their agenda. They are not necessarily They might come down unless they want to be entertained. You think that they're gonna have a better cinema What if they just find a better Broadway than us you mean tell me they're not gonna have a whole lot of fun Stringing you into a plasma cage and pull it on your dick until you come in where you go What if they don't want to watch that movie that night the torture the human series that they have also

Speaking of crazy stuff. This is from this looks to be from O'Hare Airport. Oh, no, this is I'm gonna I want to get into this what the hell is going on story So in the beginning of this year, I want to say the beginning this year and also last summer We talked about a a rash of flying humanoid sightings Yeah, the Chicago land area and it seems like we got another one and this one's fucking juicy And this one even it comes with a cool kind of picture of what it would look like this actually comes from the one of the Traditional pictures of a mothman we're seeing now with this is a full-on mothman sighting and to be completely frank this Description sends the all of the hairs of my backup. That's a shitload of hairs

Oh, so I ena you can trust every single thing that Henry is about to say because this is a Description coming from the mouths in the mind and the eyes of a USPS worker that is United States Postal service worker those people tip of the spear and they are top of the line when it comes to intelligence I love my guy gill gotta love gill except for the fact I asked where the hell my ballot is my ballot's gone It must be in the fucking mothman's Parcells maybe gill filled it out for you and sent it in himself. You know what I trust him Yeah, USPS employee reports seven foot tall red-eyed creature at O'Hara International Airport This comes from this is this week. This is from singular 40 and calm cool

This is the statement from the USPS worker that saw this entity right after they were leaving the USPS Sorting facility in Chicago in Chicago. Here's International Airport at around 11 p.m. On Thursday That is a really nice way of saying throw in everyone's shit around We're we're so we're sorting they just they don't take very good care of it. Do they well not all that this is a critique Luggage they don't care about the luggage. What are you gonna do you imagine you imagine looking at luggage after? Oh, I know I've watched them to handle the luggage You just don't just don't and just trust so this is a witness statement I had just left work at the USPS sorting facility at O'Hara Airport at about 11 p.m.

On Thursday the 24th of September and was walking out to my car when I saw something Standing at the far end of the parking lot where I usually park at first I thought it was a very tall person with a long coat as I got closer to my car I unlocked it which caused my headlights to come on My headlights hit the person standing about 20 to 25 feet from my car Causing it to turn and look right at me. Damn. I saw that this was not some person But a giant red-eyed creature and what appears to be a coat were actually wings Which it spread out as it turned to look at me at first

I thought it was some kind of very large bird, but I've never seen any bird that stood almost seven feet tall I'm five foot four and this thing looks taller than me by at least two feet This thing then started making some type of chirping sound almost a half chirp and half click like someone was clicking their tongue But much faster, huh? It then made some type of screeching sound and took off running toward me it got within ten feet and it took off into the air and flew above me Screaming hysterically as I crouched down behind my car's open door and I dived into my car head first

I was in a near panic as I tried to start the car close and lock the doors and turn on my interior lights I started my car and took off with that without of the parking lot and flew down the road till I hit the main road I got home I told my husband who also works at the same facility and he was the one who told me about the sightings of this thing Damn thing is fucking scary now. This actually matches up to the other sightings. We have seen the same entity several times this year At least ten sightings have come from the airport itself since August of 2019 10 and they all have reported this sound Coming out of it. They said it sounds like one witness described it as sounding like screeching tires Dude, this is frickin crazy. It's fucking weird. The witness also a

17-year veteran of the USPS and has worked at O'Hare sorting facility for the last 15 years It is a crazy crazy and then also a man flying a jetpack has been spotted again in the skies over Los Angeles This is another story that came out this guy is just trying. He's trying to get some of the attention I don't know who this guy is. They don't know who he is. There is there is some floating theory that it's Elon Musk There is some theory, but then you're the guy that the type of jetpack is gonna end up getting sucked into an engine of a plane And that's how he's going to die is the old machine fitting way for him to go But this is it they are saying they do believe it's a specific type of jetpack that according to that the Manufacturer basically said if it was Elon Musk, he would have told me like he would have been like we would have had cameras

Like it would have been set up. Okay, but now we're not saying this is a flying humanoid though This is an actual human being this is a human in a jetpack a China Airlines crew reported seeing what appeared to be someone in a Jetpack at an approximate altitude of six thousand feet about seven miles northeast of Los Angeles International Airport and the truth I listened to it and it's yeah pilot being like do you have something on your radar and Just to hear the flight tower say which also sent chills up my spine They were like was it a UAV or was it a jetpack? That's what they really nailed it That's what they've narrowed it down to it lax. They just basically showed up. Did you see a UFO or a jetpack? That's how fucking nuts

Shit has gotten in the sky and the yes It was a man in a jetpack and then what they said Only in LA only in LA Well, how now I'm trying to figure out how high a person can fly Before their brain explodes apparently the highest a jetliner can fly is 60,000 feet That was on the Concorde and then now it's around 50,000 feet That's what the jets fly, but what can a human being if you're just in a jetpack? It's six thousand feet like that is doable. That's what he's a lot of feet. Yeah, it is a lot of feet

Don't you get sick? I don't know I wonder how he feels afterwards I bet he feels jubilant. Is it because he can only take off does he need to run a bunch before he takes off? I'm gonna say honestly I don't know a lot about the flight of jetpacks if you Is it the safest place to have a jetpack near an airplane near an airport? It's actually very dangerous I imagine this is for attention We're gonna find out who this is eventually and I'm gonna I'm gonna throw out a couple of names, right? Who who do you who's top suspects top suspects right now right now the person who is Herman Cain's not dead He's you think it's Herman Cain with a jetpack. That's very possible

I know for some reason the name Brian Doyle Marie came up, but yeah, that's not him Wow Brian don't Brian Austin Green. It could be what about? Michael Anthony Hall. Oh Anthony Michael Anthony Michael has got a kind of a career cert resurgence going on because he's did the saw movies He did a bunch of shit. That's right. He isn't a saw movies I don't I just had like a career resurgence, and I realized I was fucking 15 years ago. It's I'm a I'm a ross it is Yes, he's always go once you do a saw movie you live forever But it's that I there is an influencer that is doing this and we don't know what it'll be like

You know anything about the maintenance or how jetpacks work or if you have a jetpack or you got footage of this side stories Lpo TL a gmail.com. I want to know but this is I I we're just in the craziest times We're just in the craziest times that I've ever experienced well It's just interesting, you know when we talk about UFOs and stuff like that It's it's just fun to look up to the skies and see what's going on up there We don't know what's going on anymore look up to the skies I've got some rosin joints from from the that weed company classy giving us my buddy Leiden

That'll help you see some I smoked a shattered joint for the first time and it's really strong And I can't believe that anyone smokes a whole one of those. Oh, yeah, dude Like does Snoop Dogg? Like this smoke. I know that he smokes obviously like he and Willie although I'm not sure but do you think it's it's not shatter No, I imagine that it is they probably smoke Like I do I have levels of smoke where every day if I wake up and I'm particularly depressed or like I'm particularly anxious Like you know I do vape in the morning Mm-hmm big old sativa in the morning right to keep it going keep it put a smile on your face

You have to otherwise your arches up. Yeah, and then during the day But also if I'm having like a dinner party or like having people over I have like mid weed that is Makes you talkative doesn't make you fall asleep That's the goal something like a sativa leaning hybrid Yes, I want to like throw out I imagine a something that or I imagine he has a big old pale Some pales are just fucking regs that he lights up those blunts with because that's what we used to roll bus with Was just like whatever is that essentially like I imagine he's not smoking dirt weed But like no steps above dirt weed that you could smoke and mask quantities and still do your shit

Yeah, I mean I would think so. Oh, and I want to talk about also a buddy my buddy Matt stags sent me a video of John keel on David Letterman speaking of flying humanoids John keel was the one who like basically broke the mothman story He wrote the mothman prophecies if you remember Kessel. Okay. How was what was Letterman's treatment like? Oh, he was incredibly That's what I was gonna say. It's so sad How this is 1980 John keels on there and he brought his big foot plaster like He brought the big foot foot plastering some pictures Loch Ness monster and it's just so sad to watch one of the most respected men in Euphology in parapsychology and unanimous an anomalous studies just be

David Letterman lambasted this David Letterman just obviously having a good time with him and John keels trying to be legit But he's a nerd and he's really nothing because that's a problem with you fall just as soon as you put him on camera Something you lose a lot of the mystique they lose the mystique. Well speaking of camera Henry this is a story that I want to talk to you about you know that you're naked and afraid I Watch it all the time you do yes, but I'm not one Natalie and I love naked and afraid It's one of our shutter brandon's off shows, but we are not one of the couples that says like oh Oh, I can do it. I know that if I even spent 15 minutes naked and afraid Yeah, I'm naked and afraid if I'm naked I am always afraid it's never good. Do you know who Brandon Pope is?

Why does this guy? I'm showing you the picture here. Oh, yeah, this guy. Okay, Henry Oh, yeah, he's I know that's a naked and afraid fucking super star naked and afraid Brandon Pope charged with voyeurism. Oh Walk me into this Yeah, was it gonna be good it's a crime podcast Okay, so he was charged with voyeurism, which is kind of ironic given that he's the star of naked and afraid after allegedly taping tea in a bath Isn't that something but shouldn't that just be pedophilia? Yeah, man voyeurism to me just means like Like you're like you're really interested like the chick who busted the priest for banging those two other people

That starts as a voyeur. Yeah, that's sort of voyeurism and also like peeping Tom or like what kind of do the idea of You're like a lurker on cam. Yes, that satisfies your voyeur it well one of your favorite celebrities Henry He's currently detain. He's not one of Henry's favorite celebrities not anymore Detain not anymore. He's off the list Jeffrey Tuben off the list. He is he is at the Howard County Detention Center where he Be where he is behind bars Sources told the TMZ the 42 year old whose full name is David Brandon Pope was accused of recording a female teenager family member Was inside the house called authorities, so he like none of this was in his episode He was great with the tools he helped build the hut that was huge

Obviously, he was a huge asset at the time on the episode. What what camera did he bring in there? Was it like when Oswald was escorted out by the police was he wheeling something in there? I don't know is this guy doing this probably a phone. He probably put it behind the tissue box It's disgusting, but also I wonder did he just dress up as a big bush, and he just decided his time in the jungle made him like a He's a hunter cat. Well, according to the Southwest Arkansas radio. Oh my god. That's our job soon No, you know, you're just saying we're gonna end up once we all once we all pull a tube and And we end up down there. That's all you have to do is not masturbate on a zoom call All you have to do is so much easier not to masturbate on the zoom call 60 years old still got it

Okay, according to Southwest Arkansas radio, which must have had an int. I would love to hear their take on this It's a matter of fact. I'm technically plugging different things, but I'm assuming that they're better than us I don't know why I just feel like there's like a news organization. That's what I mean It's the Southwest Arkansas radio aren't we technically broadcasters? Yeah, we are professional broadcasters. That's my title And your wow pope was charged with two counts of video for his voyeurism After deputies said they found videos of the new teenager on his cell phone Well investigating Pope's residence authorities reportedly found a whole drilled under the doorknob of the bathroom door That was seemingly the angle. He was recording the videos a

Representative from the Howard County Sheriff's office again. Oh my god, and it talks about how everybody just needs to masturbate more often We everybody has I think that's a problem in this case. This is the it can't you can't you imagine same thing with the tubing story, right? We're Yes, in the moments before you come you are probably you're the most primal Unrepentant nihilistic you'll ever be in that the sheer seconds before you come But once you come and the reason comes flooding back I can't you just don't you don't want that reason

Don't you want that cold calm reason where at some point when you are actively drilling a hole into the bathroom of your niece? Why can't you just say to yourself? Hey? Stop why don't we just pause here for a second? Why don't I just jerk off it takes somebody who would go on this? It's because this is someone who would go on a show like naked and afraid at 42 years old don't show off his his body No, some people are trying to challenge themselves because they had leukemia Well, some people are ex cops trying to show the world that you know that oh, I can not yeah I'm a cop on the streets, but also I can be a man in the jungle some people are like a woman who's lost her arm

And she has I want to show everybody that yeah, I could still have one arm and survive So there's a lot of stories within naked and afraid that are actually very positive all right good to hear season 11 episode 21 that's when Pope appeared on naked and afraid It was in April and the episode was entitled ring of fire. Oh, which I by the way If you have not had the flamin hot baked Ruffles you have to we're not even being paid by them. It is they are so good dude. Are they that good? I don't know they are so good right now because we're not being paid money by them. I don't like big place. Oh, I don't like I'm glad I finally could flip this on you after last week of the stream when you had the gall to tell me you don't like

Calzones. Yeah, well, it's just get a pizza All right. Well, it's entitled ring of fire Pope was one of the survivalists competing in quote the frigid Bulgarian mountains. It's a very good episode honestly Yeah, well did he win or lose? Oh, he survived? No, I mean they don't die. Well, they made it through we made through it. Oh, I see so that's so you'd like tap out You can tap out of your fucking pussy, but do they is this like is it like? A survivor where they stay in a hotel at night. No, no, no, it's pretty legit. Okay, make it afraid. It's pretty legit I mean there is obviously cameras there

So you can't really die and if you have a some sort of reaction often There's been a couple of episodes where people have gotten an infection or like a crazy And then the doctor comes in and airlifts them out, but Natalie and I are both like I'm at most a glamper like I'm at mo that is as far as you can get me I need a bed and I need a toilet for me to enjoy any stretch of time Okay, I can do more traditional camping if Walmart is in the plans when you stop at a Walmart and you get everything you need machete You get a BB gun get a little inflatable mattress

And then of course you also have to just get totally hammered and then you could camp you could do it Yes, there's a stream nearby sure. I think you'd love it. All right this next story speaking of streams We got this story what's going on even it's history. I don't know why a segue like that I'm a professional broadcaster professional broadcaster. How dare you def out dare you call into question my ability to segue I never would buddy. This got nothing. There's no piss in this great Every article should just have that as a caveat because you know, you'll stumble on one that doesn't have it as a caveat You'd be like, wow, there has to be piss in that. Wow. Holy shit. There's extra piss in the story weird now this story. I I Am in love with this story and of course this story takes us to the beautiful

State of Alaska this Alaska's crazy. I would love to go to Alaska. I wanted to we want to do a live show in Anchorage real bad I would love to do it. Please book us because I feel like covid's not there Why do I feel like Alaska is more foreign than Australia? It is well, it's because they're very isolated and they You know, we talked about we did our Richard Hansen episode. Oh, yeah, these are people they got the Baker These are frontier people still these are real frontier people But we have listeners out in Anchorage and book us. Tell us where we should go. We have to go Totally now. This is the story this story comes from the Alaska landmine the which is by the way the greatest name

I ever for a newspaper. I love it. I can't speak to the rest of the newspaper and what it covers I will say this story is a fucking get all right a booze-infused cookie business Uh-huh a rogue reporter and an escort geez the downfall of Anchorage mayor Ethan Berkowitz This comes from reporters Jeff landfill with packs and Wilbur You just get the feeling if he could ever go back in time and they're like though This is gonna be a headline about you and then it's just like you never want to hear a booze booze-infused cookie business a rogue reporter and an escort and then it's like the downfall of you So this starts on Friday night, okay, so this is a five-day run

This is a five-day run okay on Friday night October 9th 12 o 9 p.m. Fox ABC reporter try to stick along with this story It's very complicated Maria Athens. This is a truly a complicated story. It's the most a complicated headline I've ever seen Maria Athens She's a reporter. Okay, she claimed on the Anchorage mayor that she posted it This is true. It used the word breathless to describe her video and it's true It is a panicked video that they put out. Oh, I thought it was rude. I thought it was like she's so beautiful It's okay. She is breathless. She is literally like Like she looks like she ran a mile, okay?

She posted them the official faith on her official Facebook page claiming that an Anchorage mayor Ethan Berkowitz Had his male genitalia posted on an underage girls website No Athens did not explain the nature of the website or provide evidence for the shocking the bizarre accusation right saying that this story was gonna be on that night Right saying a Berkowitz immediately puts out a statement saying the allegations of slander is categorically false blah blah blah Caught to 3 32 p.m. Three hours later the reporter posted a photo of the backside of a man Presumably intended to be Berkowitz right headline proof mayor Ethan Berkowitz hashtag take that haters Take that it was a photo of a man

The only way I'd describe him as is Jeffrey Epstein esque with a it's just a bad I've got salt and pepper hair it does but it showed a back of his back and down to his butt I have to see his blurred out little Alaskan butt where at 442 Athens posted This is more revealing version of the same photo with a headline nice tried damage control certainly first lady killer Mara Kimmel can confirm that this is her husband's hairy ass Right, so you see this photo so everyone's like holy shit the mayor's office is flipping out the it's exploding across social media It's going wild and like it's really really intense. I just have to say this about this man's little He's got like he's got a kissle took us where it just kind of his body just sort of bleeds into a button

I have more I have more shoulders than I do yes, but it's like I go down actually I'm built like a comma Also, I have never seen someone take a sexy picture from with the back It's the back of his head his back and his butt, but how do you even angle that you know what this looks like? It's very hard. We'll get to this. Okay, this looks like one of the do you ever take a picture? Were you ever like scratch like a pimple or something on your back? And you want to know if you've either made a bleed or if it's like a And I'll take a bunch of like on my phone You'll look and find a bunch of weird pictures of just my ass in the back of my head just me trying to find out of a skin tag It's cancer. Ah, I don't think I have no I don't have that

I you could look through my entire portfolio on my camera my role No, you would not see any pictures of that interesting. Yeah, maybe you should try maybe I should actually See what's going on in your back. I've never seen your back. Um, really? Well, I don't look at it I'll show it to you one day I can't win to get back on the road in the mayor of this town. All right, so many denounced Berkowitz They're all just being like disgusting have no clue what they're talking about didn't even know what it meant Is by underage girls website that knew nothing was clarified. Okay, so things got weirder This is all on Friday. Oh, that afternoon the reporter Maria Athens was arrested. What a criminal misdemeanor assault

Athens apparently attacked Scott centers the general manager for coastal television broadcasting her boss who also happened to be her Boyfriend right why she attacked him slapped him centers called the police according to the source of the Anchorage police department Athens acted erratically and then attacked a police officer outside of the station leading her to be arrested So you got put into jail. This is Friday Just getting started according to the article Okay Saturday morning a Twitter that appeared from a from a this is a moniker from a only fans Sex worker named redhead ray Race post proved to be the key that unlocked everything according to the authors redhead ray worked as a model and only fans

Now she seemed to be she is the daughter of a woman named Molly Blakely Who's an Anchorage woman who sells super cute booze infused cookies? You know the sweet and the booze there was an ice cream stop an ice cream shop in Brooklyn where they had boozy ice cream Yeah, can't do it. I am not a huge fan of boozy ice cream but give me a boozy milkshake Yeah, now in this Twitter thread this is comes out of nowhere ray explains that she worked as a Non-sexual escort in Alaska in 2018 What does that mean you go fish ate it would she say it's more like a date like truly an escort that she'd go on dates with guys Right a nice time so according Blakely found out

This is her mother found out that ray was escorting and she was unhappy according to ray She told her mom that her favorite client that she had fun with was a short man who quote-unquote Work for the state of Alaska. You couldn't mention my height every time you mentioned my Honestly most of them were just sitting to dinner and you don't even know how sure I am Yeah, and if you think about like different people like different time frames 5 5 was actually Yeah, it was normal. It's how they needed to live in order to have the nutrients so on Twitter Ray then goes on to say that her mom Happen to be doing this press junket where she's doing this rollout for this of her booze cookie

These booze cookies that she's getting this sort of deal with like Nestle tow house, right? She's getting this huge a huge This is getting into the booze bitch look out and hyzer bush She was doing this this fucking on Friday when all this breaking out. She was doing this like This bullshit with this Reporter Jesus Ray goes on to say that mom She's doing an interview with with the reported the original porter about her views of booze and fuse cookies during the interview Athens had apparently expressed her disdain for Ethan Berkowitz the mayor of anchor not Ethan

But is it Ethan Berkowitz? Okay, right Blakely asked Athens. I had a nowhere. Hey was Berkowitz short Is he a short guy? Athens responded. Yes. Yes, Ethan Berkowitz is a short guy Okay, Blakely then decided to make the jump in logic saying that the short man her daughter Who was 18 as an escort was Ethan Berkowitz? That's the only evidence she had yes, and she went immediately to the camera Well, it was an off-the-record conversation, but it seems like it was pretty on the record But it started became immediately on the record immediately. She apparently according to redhead ray on Twitter on Twitter

Basically saying my mom is a drama Just a fucking drama queen. I wouldn't want my booze cookies made by anything other than a drama queen No, I mean that's who I want. I want somebody who's in the center of the shit. I was what makes you do loose lips sink ships Absolutely booze filled cookies both filled cookies, but if you're someone you're you're you're living you're you're living in the Serapalian stereotype, right? You're the housewife. You're an anchorage. You know, I'm doing everything, right? But I don't like to have a little booze in my cookie. Maybe you to every morning. Oh, unfortunately, that's also true Morning Okay, so all this comes out on Saturday

So they're basically saying the redhead ray actually had an interview with the author Which is very interesting if you look if you go to the Alaska landmine and listen to it Redhead ray does sound like an I agree with the author saying it sounds like the only person to be credible in any way shape or form Talking about the story being like that's all I said short man who worked for the state of Alaska I didn't say he was in politics. I didn't say he was anything. I just said it was a short man My mom could have been around with it But she's got a vendetta against the mayor and so does this reporter, right? Oh my goodness We're gonna find out is that people were trying to find out more and more about

Blakely the mom right a little bit more. What's what's deep into what's going on? We know shortly before my interview with ray. I learned that Blakely is Andy Criners Halfed sister. Oh, that was Andy Criners. Okay. This is just Show about this is so Alaska goss. No, this is like Alaska goss quarter Andy Criner Okay refused to comply when Ethan Berkowitz the mayor of Anchorage Ordered limitations on indoor restaurant dining due to COVID. Okay, so Blakely and any Criners family and Criners diner it remained open for dining service against Yes against the wishes of the mayor, right?

So that the Criners family has become a symbol of defiance in the news To Berkowitz on the Alaska landmine, they're making a very big and it's a massive trump-pence flag in the front of the diner So all of this shit. It's very very interesting. So they're not getting back to comment, right? Okay So Blakely's obviously saying I didn't make it up for attention Oh, so that's Sunday. All of that kind of comes to a head on Sunday. All right. Let's just do a three-day recap Friday starts We hear whoa the mayor he's showing his ding dong his butt to an underage girl Now she beats up her boyfriend who is also her manager. This is the person. Okay, who's also He's in jail this whole time

She's in jail this whole time and then the daughter the daughter of an the source of this story is a sex worker Right for only fans for only fans, right? Oh, she used to be a full-on escort now She is a only fans model so so mother it makes booze infused cookies and goes on a Saturday morning show She went on a Friday morning show to talk and ended up talking shit about the mayor with this reporter who they all now We're gonna be revealed like why so why did the reporter freak out about this right heck is going on here? Athens was arraigned on Saturday and was set to be released on Monday at this point It's still unclear whether the photo that she because she posted this photo. Yes They don't know whether or not it's Ethan Berkowitz or not

We just know it's a gray-haired man kind of looks short by the look of you look at his But you know, we don't know if it is an apology comes out Monday morning 430 p.m. From the mayor's office saying I Apologize to the people of Anchorage for a major lapse in judgment I made several years ago when I had a consensual inappropriate messaging relationship with reporter Maria Athens, so he was fucking Maria Athens for three years and she has become a jilted Ex-lover. Oh, so she had this picture ready to go. Yes. She had this picture

Unleashed it because it would apparently a guess that means it definitely is him, right? She then during this whole point apparently, so she's doing revenge board She's getting she's going full-on revenge and then I want you to listen to the unhinged email So this is a voicemail. Okay that were importer Maria Athens left on the private cell phone of Mayor Berkowitz This is what she that she left already scared was listen to this fucking voicemail that she left when she found out this story That she was gonna break this story when this woman said I think actually the person my daughter's dating is the mayor of Anchorage But she just said it's a short person. Yeah, that works in Alaskan elements. It's just jump. Listen to this story She's in it's Maria Athens from Fox to BTW. Who's that National Alaska? I just learned through my

Emmy award-winning journalism You're also a pedophile and like little girls and children and there's a website. I'm so fucking exposing you I'm gonna get an Emmy so you either turn yourself in kill yourself or do what you need to do I will personally kill you and mark him. Oh my god damn self you Jewish Peace of living fucking shit. You have met your match motherfucker. You have met your motherfucking match I can't believe I am such a good person and thought I loved you. I Fucking hate. I don't even hate you. I will pray for your Zionist Fucking ass you piece of shit loser and I'm putting this on the news tonight. Bye. Have a great Friday you motherfucker. I

Am wow, this is I'm just I'm sticking with dogs. That's what I am doing. I am sticking with hey You gotta be careful man. Holy hell. That was one of the most interesting What was that? Was that 60 seconds? I that was a roller coaster my friend Yeah, and she even snuck and you got everything they want to go there Semitism there's even more. There's even more strangely after Blakely's fulcrum when they when this all went down Oh my god, so they they had this they had their meeting where she was going through She's trying to find because now Blakely is backpedaling a huge amount because she's about to get because her deal is now Coming into question because of all of this. She's fucking up her own boo's cookie deal. Yes. She is now

Oh my god, they falsely told Athens that her daughter was an escort for Berkowitz They headed over to Kriner's diner, so they went to the diner to eat Diner open. Yeah, according to screenshots of texts sent by Blakely to her daughter Athens had an emotional breakdown at Kriner's Blakely claims that Athens had a had the three-year affair with the mayor now This is what she's saying. Okay, just know she is super unstable was even yelling the f-word in Kriner's and people will call her out On Facebook, and she was causing them out too. This was the reason I called to tell you she lost her mind I apparently she had a three-year affair with them, and he never left his wife So she just dropped it. She didn't know what she was doing. She thought it was like little gossip. Yeah

But she just fucking put the fuel rod into the reactor. So now this is not this is it continues I received a Facebook message from Sarha Shahbakh who grew up with Blakely on the Kanai peninsula right as in a childhood friend Trying to get more information about Blakely. She provided me with the additional audio recordings and screenshots of her Conversations with Blakely, but she wanted to know the problem was that she didn't want to get involved because Shahbakh runs northern exposure, which is Alaska's only BDSM and sex educational conference So she runs this like I mean, you know, they need booze cookies there You have an orgy have some booze cookies have a nice time with it Oh my god, but we have to now but now Athens has been released in jail

So far has been silent on social media about this whole thing. We're gonna find out where this all goes to It technically he immediately resigned. So Ethan Berkowitz has resigned being mayor. So he's out Mike drop. Yep. He could have survived this. I don't know. I think at some point Governor was accused of doing blackface and then moonwalked at a press conference and got away with it I didn't know how to moonwalk. It's a governor of freaking Virginia This guy's a mayor of a small town. He'd be fine You know over to save them if he knew how to do the worm. Well, he was saved. He's doing over this guy Ethan Berkowitz. I mean

I guess the affair is bad Second term the statutory limit they were gonna have a new mayor. So they're about to have oh, I see So that's what they're trying to figure out. They were they were in the middle of an election. Oh I see More about this if you know anything about this please email side stories LP ot l a gmail.com I just went through a bunch of facts. I just I Obviously, I read a bunch from the article Alaska landmine calm go and check them out I don't know what else is on there, but just go and check them out because I did you know

You know one of the interesting parts here. So the Anchorage Assembly held a meeting on Tuesday night Berkowitz was not there chief of staff Jason Bockingstatt he read the statement the meeting got close to coming unglued and degenerated from there one public commentator Told the assembly that the assembly's quote satanic laws will be quote cast into the fire Further stating that the municipality's sister cities commission, which I currently chair That's the author of this story had made Anchorage quote the world's best brothel So people have issues there

Obviously, you know, I know that there is there is a large sex worker community in in Alaska Specifically because there are so much there's seasonal workers And but I don't think these people are happy about it because then local personality Oh, they should just get over themselves. What a bunch of drips. I agree with that local personality Dustin Darden. He just read Bible passages Warning of the dangers of foreign occasions. So now that I'm understanding the constituents I understand a little bit more Berkowitz just kind of being like I'm gonna go. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's just like why deal with it Why do you know what you all want to go crazy? I'm out I had an affair which was wrong and he came out and said it but he didn't deserve to necessarily be called a pedophile

Yeah, oh my god, and this is what I was talking about when it comes to the radio show Anchorage Politico Bernadette Wilson who used to host a talk show with Berkowitz. This is what she had to say She said it was definitely a little awkward to be told to wear a mask by a guy who didn't even wear pants I'm so mad So much it is so much It is wow. I just love all the layers. Each one is perfect. Each one is cooked to perfection Wow. Yes, and Blakely's boo boo's infused cookie dough. Nestle might I'm sorry. She might have dropped the ball I tell you what it makes me not want to get that booze infused cookie dough

It makes me want to go looking for some other place to get my booze infused cookie dough Which is you know, I normally do it you get a bunch of flour you get a bunch of eggs You get a bunch of rum And you just fucking eat it in your house. You can make rumballs for head rumballs I've had rumballs. Yeah, I've been thinking about those recently. They're not good though. You don't like rumballs I don't like rumballs. They're cinnamon in them. Oftentimes they're cinnamon in them But I like them with the nuts in them. I like a pecan. I like all the molasses in them Well, now we are just talking about things you love in a rumball. I will all right. Well, I think it's about time for hero of the week

And honestly every single person in that story we just told was kind of hero of the week Um in a strange way other than maybe miss Athens you turned. I think she turned out to be the villain. Who's the villain? I don't know. I'm gonna say I don't know who the villain is, but I know that the victim is the people of anchorage That is for damn sure All right. Well, let's do hero of the week This one not necessarily something that people would think I would choose but plane passenger caught smuggling gold nuggets

in The rectum to avoid paying taxes. This is according to Be an america At least I know hungry. Well, my friend. We're actually going to india. We're going to dubai specifically A dude was walking oddly as you could imagine he would be because he had two pounds. Yeah, he was He was turkey ducking it. He was turkey ducking it. He had two pounds of gold bullion And shoved up his asshole. So the guy was like, oh my god He doesn't want to avoid. He wants to avoid an 18% tax on his precious nuggets. Oh, this is not even

I thought that this was about like um like hiding your income No, this is about trying not to get custom tax when you're just doesn't want to get which is a lot So basically there's a lot to put two pounds of gold up your asshole Look at the look at these. Well, and the thing is when you see the gold You can see how it would be very uncomfortable because it's just very long are those fucking he must have really I think he was doing it. I think he must have been fucking touching his prostate with this Can you imagine coming with gold rod up your butt? That's that's things of kings. That's what I when I retire I suppose so officials at the air intelligence unit mined the stash

Worth about $60,000 from the unidentified smugglers But another passenger on the same flight was caught carrying more than three pounds of gold Uh, the officials did not need to close where he did it. No, I just had mine in a bag Like a normal person the golden was hidden in the travelers underwear as well. So This is really common I don't know why this person is here of the week But I'm making him here over the week because you know what he did what he had to do And yeah, he got busted and the dude is like really not happy

Because now everyone's like aren't you the dude who had two pounds of gold up his butthole? And then he has to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I don't know if he has to pay more or not He's still gonna pay taxes. I feel like now you have to pay all of the fees that you're gonna get anyway And you're gonna have to go to court and you're gonna have to do all this shit Then you just you got yourself used to the the feeling of being massage on your Prostate by gold and now that's your standard literally the gold standard now It is indeed it's a dukey standard But somebody's got to have it and my friend you are here of the week just for the attempt

To not pay taxes in a strange way. I don't know. Dubai seems to be doing very well No, it's not actually it's a it's all fake. It's all fake money. They're they are a money laundering city Is that right? Yeah, really then don't they have the world's tallest building though? Yeah, it's all built on slave labor Dubai Yeah, it's all built on slave labor. It's like It's essentially slave labor and um, just the funneled money of terrorists from many different countries Why did you come with all of this? Dubai information like you just snapped right into this I just know a lot about Dubai. Why because I've researched moving there

Okay, speaking of your own freaking tax plans, which we constantly have to be like no Anthony are like our business managers like you they won't let me not they won't they make me be a good your ideas Are like your father's ideas. What about came in Ireland? What about came in islands? It's like my father never thought about that. My father literally was just like, you know You do the old Wolf of Wall Street thing man. Fuckin gonna cub line your pants with dollar bills That makes all the sense in the world. Take it to switzerland. Absolutely. So here are the week putting that gold up your butt. Congrats, buddy Good work. I hope you had a little bit of fun there while you did it. I really hope that you did Um, one thing that we did not address is the controversy last week about Ben Kissel. What being from the midwest and not

Oh my god Of the grocery store correctly. I can't even believe I didn't have Myers when I was I grew up in wisconsin Okay, not all the midwest is the same Myer I never had we had cops with we had all the other ones But it's the only thing people could talk about About the episode the really yes There were some people who said they enjoyed it with despite that I think that if for those of you that were brave enough to get past it

Thank you. But yes, it is Myers and I honestly think for that we need to do some sort of midwest apology You need some form of midwest apology. I think we need to like You need to eat like five pounds of cheese in a setting where people in the midwest are supposed to be very nice Forgive me. I know but I feel like mostly but I've heard about Yeah, they are nice. They hold grudges. I am sorry now This the razor blades and candy situation we didn't update from last week It is largely a myth though There have been instances of food tampering that has led to the overall belief that you can get tampered halloween candy

This also comes from Joel McKean who's been helping us put together stories to side stories dude. Thank you so much um And started in halloween 1959 What a dentist laced candy with a laxative and made 30 kids out of 450 Which is actually not a great ratio. Um, shit themselves And put a kid in the hospital Dentist did this yes, the dentist did this of course the dentist did this of course because they are anti candy because of the Candy, wow, that's amazing. All right. Well, those are a little bit. You know, so right now that story seems to linger

But mostly it is urban myth Really, dr. William shine california dentist. It's a very interesting story. All right. Let's get to some listener stories Can you imagine what the candy is in 1959? I don't know why I just feel like people just like grab a bunch of slop and put it In your hand. No, it's weird is I actually think that it was better I think that the candy might have been better and less processed. You know what I agree with you I don't like the sugar stuff they put in this now. I don't I well, I'm not a big milk chocolate guy I'm a dark chocolate guy because that's what I do. That's how we saw my cravings the night. Oh, Henry also 1970 Kevin Trost Uh, a uh, five-year-old from Detroit. He went into a coma because someone put heroin in his

This candy that's not some people are asking for it 1974 an eight-year-old kid He consumed a bunch of pixie sticks with cyanide now. I'm getting scared Well, that's why you're not allowed to go trick-or-treating anymore than I'm doing that this year anyway I don't think that I think if I went trick-or-treating they would just give me the house I mean, they should they should be like just leave my wife alone But don't fear it looks like 1974 was the last time this happens. I mean, let's say this is the year I guess to bring it back Let's make constant. Let's make Halloween dangerous again. This is the time and if it's covid's not enough

Just start lacing the candy, but you know, give it to only kids. Yeah Now here comes listener stories. Okay The story about the woman stealing haunted tiles from Pompeii reminded me of a similar story in my family My great-uncle Leroy served in the army during world war two Specifically the pacific theater as a souvenir. He brought back a small box of gold capped teeth He'd taken from dead bodies For unknown reasons uncle Leroy decided to keep this box of teeth in his bedside table I don't know how long the box was in the nightstand, but Leroy started to hear voices

His his wife was unbothered, but he was kept awake at night by these bodyless voices I don't know how he eventually came to the conclusion the voices were coming from the box of teeth But one morning he walked in his backyard and threw the box into a nearby creek. He never heard the voices again He just re-killed them He did my question is this and it's kind of a real question I guess side stories lpotl at gmail.com when it comes to hauntings residual hauntings something like this, um Um, can you so a tooth it doesn't have to actually be biological part of the person's body If you stole some gold out of someone's tooth or do you have the teeth with there was a teeth with them?

Well, why didn't he melt it down? Because he it sound like it wasn't for the gold it was to have gold It was to have the teeth of dead people did he kill all the people I don't know it sounds like he might have just pulled them out of dead corpses Huh, I mean I have a bunch of human teeth in my house. That's just because our fans love us Man, we have a lot. We have one of the weirder gifts, but also very sweet. We got some of these baby teeth But I feel like it was it's a lot. It is a lot, but hey, you know, I'll take I'll take validation I don't think I'm gonna keep my baby's teeth if I ever have a baby. I don't know what the I don't think I'll ever keep the baby

I was just trying to get rid of the teeth. Well, you threw away the whole baby I don't tell you and get this out of here I wondered if you or any listeners have had sleep paralysis experiences similar to what I've had of late I've had insomnia Nightmares and sleep paralysis for as long as I can remember As a kid I was terrified to sleep at night because of the colony of monsters which looked exactly like the rat puppet from the feral's Oh, yeah, look at this thing Oh, yeah, it's creepy under my bed would come out and it cost me

I made up a bunch of silly rules that I would chant my head every night until I eventually passed out Stuff like they can't get me if it's after midnight if the hallway light is on if dad's still awake watching tv kid logic Yeah, that makes sense. I think the dad watching tv thing works Yes, that's what I used to do even though my like my father came home hammered every night But I didn't feel comfortable until he got home Makes sense. That's kind of cute The rat monsters would torment me in my dreams some of it tame and only a scary two child But I remember more sinister things they would do or say often sexual as a shelter child

I had no idea how the topics were in my brain When I'd have sleep paralysis, I'd get the whole nine yards visual Auditory and tactile hallucinations so real that it's no wonder my insomnia got so bad. The monster's standard behavior was thus They'd slowly approach the back of my hand. I sleep on my side Taunting me saying creepy shit and evily giggling My eyes would be wide open at this point and I would be desperately trying to scream or move or even just shut my eyes And the monster seemed to notice that because they comment things like you can't get away And shit, right?

Then I'd feel a monster crawl up the back of my head and say keep your eyes open Keep your eyes open as if it meant to pop into my line of sight From over my head. Not sure if this makes sense, but the point is I was fucking terrifying. Yeah No, I haven't had sleep paralysis as intense as this for years, but the other day it happened again This time I literally punched myself out of it in my dreams My flatmate came in my room talking to me, but I didn't roll over so my back was facing her the whole time As she got closer to me I was becoming more lucid and realized that in reality

I was actually facing the door and my back was to the wall so it was impossible for her to get behind me She was still talking now right behind my head and I thought yelled you can't fucking trick me I know it's you as At it I paused for a second and I braced myself as I knew it was gonna grab me when it did I felt a shock through my body and a pull from the center of my upper back of my upper back tugging me backwards The feeling is like a hypnic jerk Like the muscle spasm that you sometimes get just as you're falling asleep often startling you awake sure and as a kid

This is when I'd be desperately trying to scream It only had a hold of me for a few seconds before I punched the shit out of it I think I basically just thrashed myself asleep, but in my mind I socked that cunt right in the face Geez, it must be british might not might be might be british. Wow. That's a great method for sleep paralysis Is just why didn't anyone just do that punch it? It's hard because sometimes you're paralyzed. I understand I know Wow, this is just a little smattering and i'm going light on the listener stories because next week We are doing our haunted episode of listener passes and we have such a feted rotund

porculent Beautiful pile of listener passes that we're going to regale your ears with and I promise I'm going to be digging through these. We're looking for the really scary ones really scary ones Thank you all so much who for anyone that submitted a listener pasta side stories LP ot l a gmail.com We are super excited for listener pasta next week and we're going to keep on going with the spooky halloween season And hopefully you're watching some fun horror movies out there. I just rewatch trick or treat just for fun It's just a great horror movie. We're going through all the nightmares right now. It's great, man Audition is a great movie that I just watched like you don't want to also bump to the top of like my horror movies

Recently is cary Are you watching a question for you? Was the mom right? No, I think that what you look at is evil beginning evil with the way I upon rewatching cary It's a villain biopic where she was abused Right if she had found almost like the joker. Yes. I think it's very similar to joker Sure, I do believe that if she had found love if she had a loving mother She might have used her powers for other things or maybe they would not have activated at all

Okay, my question. First of all, we don't know who the dad is No, right never never mentioned What if it was a demon father the mom knew it and she truly was trying to protect everybody from the daughter That's why she did the crucifixes everywhere. I feel like this is how you start posting to qanon websites Like if you start like By the end of it the mom and she's getting those I love the end of cary with the knives and she's getting like crucified But at some point the mom does have to be like see You are crazy. What are you see?

But no, of course, she was very mean to cary and that was not good. Yes. We should have been there. It was also extremely dangerous But she might not have been She might not have been I don't know just rewatching with that lens. I don't know. I I just watched it Should we watch it with that lens? I just Pre-watched I know, okay, you're right. You're right. We watched with the lens But this week at haunt your house twitch tv twitch.tv slash last podcast network this saturday at 6 p.m Pacific 9 p.m. Eastern standard time. We have your hosts marcus parks carolina hidalgo parks

And ed larson watched the movie bucket of blood and this is for the charity. I forget which charity Oh, it is as we're raising money for auto bar auto bar in beautiful baltimore, maryland It was the first place they allowed us to perform And they are suffering heartily like most venues are during this time period So look up hashtag be an art zero again. I mean, I don't know what to say to everybody I feel like we got to do our best to take care of each other right now We're headed into like scarier and scarier times and I think it's really really important for everybody to look out for like We're we're getting to like this fucked up thing because the government's not doing anything

We're all gonna have to like choose a business and try to keep it open. Absolutely do everything you can for these small businesses And uh when it comes to the charities for the haunt your house. Thank you all so much for giving I think we've made around seven thousand dollars close to it. Um, which is just Unfreaking believable Oh, so thank y'all so much for that and uh, yeah, absolutely hang on in there y'all hail yourselves. Oh, well, yeah Make sure you live your life every day knowing yes that yeah, this might not be the funnest halloween But next year we're gonna fucking make it the funnest halloween. No, it's not gonna be the funnest halloween this year But we're gonna make it right and next year when we're making a fun halloween

We're gonna fucking laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and we're gonna next year We're gonna extend halloween over christmas. We're finally gonna put the knee on the throat of christmas So you're like if jack skellington won it should have won i talked about that with j wasley this week on the lpn show Like straight up We need to kill santa claus We have to do it and when i kill santa claus, you know what i'm gonna do yeah, i'm gonna love Putting on that suit then you're santa claus. No i'm gonna not see the santa claus It literally is you put on the suit i'm going to take that too i'm gonna get into fucking kind of get into the sleigh

I'm gonna buy off the reindeer with a bunch of meat and then what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna go from home to home to home Leave a bunch of presents and then when you see all the kid i'm gonna wake up all the kids Be like look and see and then i'm gonna take all the presents back and say that's what you get for being gullible It's a nightmare before christmas. Yes, that is what yes very creative nightmare after christmas. Oh, that's kind of interesting All right, everyone once again. Hail yourselves Magoos delatials. Help me Help me Hang in there everyone

Hang up there hang up. No do not hang up. That's the difference hang in there never hang up there your reaction. Yeah This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com