Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Notorious B.T.K.

Episode Date: September 6, 2018

Ben and Henry are back with more tales of intrigue: BTK needs to shut up, protect the pugs, Elliott Smith murdered(???), and more. TRIPLE L

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I live to entertain. Oh, always. Non-stop. Every day, man. All I have to do is you give me a broomstick. That's my cane. You give me a couple old kitchen tiles. I'll tape them to the bottoms of my feet and I'll do a dance. I am made to do a show. And you know what? And I think that is the reason why every single time I go home, my mom still says the sentence Why can't you just be on Broadway? Why can't you? Why can't I? No, honestly, why can't you? Because I'm not a good enough performer to get to Broadway.

That's not true. It's going to take the right role. Henry Zabrowski. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. A much dumber show than last podcast on the left proper. So be prepared for that. It's dumber. It's dumber. I am Ben Kissel. That is Henry Zabrowski. And you know what? Just send Henry some encouragement. I feel like he's down because he hasn't had his big Broadway debut yet. But I will say this, Henry, no one likes Broadway anyway. Broadway is for losers. Let's just say this first of all, it's for losers. Alright, we all know this. Are you calling Nathan Lane a loser, sir? Loser. Nobody. Nobody a loser. I do believe that, yes, I did lose Dr. Robot, Dr. Jim Carrey

and the new son of the Hedgehog movie. Sure, I get it. His cachet. If you look at his IMDB rating, I'm certain it is leagues beyond mine. Sure, yes. However, stage show, this guy. Right. I'm floating above you. Smell my feet, Mr. Hedgehog, smell my feet. Like I can do that. Collect your rings. Your futile little rings. Oh, why do you collect your rings? You'll never be married, Sonic the Hedgehog. No one loves you. Mr. Zabrowski, wonderful audition. Now, none of those words were actually in the song. Is it possible that you didn't read the script at all?

Hey, Mr. Producer, you see what I have here in my pocket? That is a pair of scissors. It's a pair of scissors, Henry. That's what we're going to do, alright? Uh-oh. I'm going to be Dr. Robotnik on Broadway and if not, these scissors, I'm going to take off your clothes first with snips. Uh-oh. Can you hear it? The effects of it? I don't think you can hear it. You can't hear it? You can't hear the snipping? Snip, snip, snip. One of these conservatives protesting Nike, you're going to do that to the director, though. Oh, so brave. They're burning shoes.

I'll cut off their pants, I'll cut off their shirt, then I'll play with their nipples with a little red and irritated. Well, that actually might get you the job, yeah. I think that's how Nathan Lane did get his first job on Broadway, as a matter of fact. You get down on those knees and you suck that dick and you lick those balls until they fucking shoot. You just lost the job. Now you managed to lose the job. You got the job and lost the job in 25 seconds. I think that you could be a lead on Broadway if you could fit a whole dick and balls inside your mouth. Alright, very good. Okay, we got a bunch of fun stories to get to today. We really did.

The most annoying of all the serial killers. He's back in the news, gave a little press conference. Henry has that story. We're going to get to that a little bit later on. We got another interesting story coming up. I believe it's Oklahoma. We're a dude. Young man. He killed five family members. We're going to talk about that. And also I have an interesting pug story that's kind of sad that we can get to as well. Which one do we want to start out with? Henry, we also got the headless guy. I feel like we should start with BTK just because it's real quick. There's an update recently. So basically what turns out is that BTK, there's a long-lost confession to a reporter

that he gave right after his arrest that's going to be coming out. And there's a new documentary that's being made. I know Lifetime is doing SNAPT, the origins of BTK. And then there's another documentary coming out about him. So there's going to be new footage coming out about BTK and shit that he said. And there's a couple of things that he said that were very interesting and also just annoying. Oh, so why? This is the thing that is a little bit annoying. The name of the documentary is going to be SNAPT, Notorious BTK Killer. Once again, Notorious has some sort of like Conor McGregor, like maybe he's a cool guy vibe.

He is not a cool guy. He's heter... Notorious? Yes, exactly. And SNAPT, he didn't SNAP. This wasn't an angry wife who all of a sudden just hit her husband over the head with a frying pan. He was doing this for 30 years. He was never put together enough in the first place to even SNAP. He was always SNAPT. Yes, they're incorrect. I'm with you. I believe they're completely incorrect. I don't really understand why you'd call it SNAPT. They are giving him the attention that he craves. He said this afterwards.

So in these statements, basically he said, number one, a demon crawled into me and that's why I did it. And not serious. It was a demon inside of him. He imagined his beel. Yeah, it was an unlucky day to be a demon being like, what was that saying? Oh, you wanted me to crawl into that heavy set with mid-western man's butt and do what? Yeah, buddy, yeah. You just got pumped. Same's Ashton Kutcher, huh? But they go and they did... So he confessed to additional parts of his crimes. He said that he had a lot of feelings for his victims.

And that he did it for the high of the hunt and getting the trophy, what a piece of shit. He then did... He said a statement that he did it to be famous. Right. He wanted to be a famous serial killer. And of course, inevitably, for those that listened to our BTK series, that was his inevitable downfall. No one was talking about him for too long, so we had to send a floppy disk to Cake News. And that is who he gave this interview with. This is way back in 2000. Cake News?

Cake News. Is that... Oh, is that like with the guy from Zubo's Just Desserts, the guy from the Australian Fancy Dessert Show, or the other guy from... I think it's Crazy Sweet or Sweet Genius. No, this is not a Cake Boss episode. This has nothing to do with food. It just happens to be K-A-K-E-TV Cake News. Interesting. Yes. So this was on July 2nd in 2005, way back in the day.

He sat down with reporter Larry Hatberg. And this is where he gave a now newly uncovered interview. He says... This is what he says in the documentary. And I think you're just gonna hate this. He says, how could a guy like me, church member, raised a family, go out and do those sorts of things. I want the people of Sedgwick County, the United States, and the world to know that I am a serial killer. It's the dark side of me. He's such a bragging piece of shit.

He acts like he's fucking Batman. I hate him so much. But then he did say, what is an interesting reveal is that he had one murder left plan. Yes. Now what is this? He was stalking a woman. He identified the victim. And then what he said he was going to do, he was going to do a series of tortures, which we don't know what it was yet. Then he was gonna hang her upside down.

And then his group, he has to resistance. He was gonna set the house on fire using propane tanks. And it was going to be his statement to the world and it was gonna be over. It's something about... What's the statement? What is the statement, Dennis? It's just, he's being a real Lars von Trier. He thinks his work is way more important than it is. All of this, it's very interesting that if you look at it, that now he's like largely...

People don't really go into the intricacies of his crimes like they do with Charles Manson or Ted Bundy, which is interesting about how he puts so much time and energy into making each one of these layered crime scenes that are supposed to tell a story about his erotic dark side. But no one reads about it. No, I mean, of course, let's not forget... Only us. Of course, let's not forget as well his erotic dark side, but then also his horrible, horrible sense of humor where after I believe it was he murdered an elderly woman, I believe he ate a bowl of cereal.

To give the impression that get it, he's a serial killer. I hate him. He is horrible. Also, everyone, you know, when we say we don't have any sympathy whatsoever for Dennis Rader, we have very little sympathy for any serial killer that we cover, never be a serial killer. But he had a great life. He talks about how his father was strict, but never cruel. And then he talks about how his dad worked long hours, but he always got along really well with his dad,

but he didn't like his mom. And he said, my mom was always quite happy. I've always loved her. I still love her greatly. But I did have a little, a little bit of a grudge against mama. That's his words, which is disgusting. And the reason he had a grudge was because she would read books and watch television and not pay enough attention to him. That's his big gripe.

He just should have been shot in the head as a boy. But how do you choose which kid to murder? You know what I mean? You don't know. I know. You don't know. We don't know. Look, look what happened to Bruce Willis in the movie Looper. He's out there killing so many innocent kids. Not good.

Looper. Looper. Great movie. Is it controversial to say, like, just wipe out one in five kids? Well, I think that makes you now the serial killer. Unless I'm a part of the government, then it's law. Well, that's true. We just take a shot at it.

And one in five kids, we all just go like, all right, like if it's you, you just go, oh, you got me. The kid goes away. But you do it before you get real attached. You do it as soon as they come out. And then you kind of weed them out one by one. I don't know if that's some form of, I'm saying a form of cruel fascism that will then be leading into the future that will eventually be the truth because I've just said it, like a butterfly effect. It's possible. I think that it's a problematic point.

But nonetheless, I understand if you can, if they, if you were 100% accurate in all of your, in your assessment of everyone that you killed, then I guess theoretically, then you're a lifesaver. I don't know how it works. I don't know how it works. I don't want to know necessarily. I don't really want to do that, but it's, you just think about fun ideas and you let it just kind of see what happens inside of your brain. Well, this is according to BTK from himself. This was he, this was him in grade school. He says, I would say probably even when I was in grade school, I sort of had some problems.

I would say so. He said, sexual fantasies probably more than normal. All males probably go through some sexual fanning fantasy. Mine was just weirder, weirder than the other people. Oh yeah. Put his sexual weird. I would say BTK. He's weird.

Oh, I just want him to go away now that this came out about like, all right, we got, we had to cover it. As soon as I saw it, I was like, okay, I want to go through this, but now it's time for BTK to just go away. They keep trying to pull out these crimes again. But it's interesting because it's because he wants it so bad. So bad. He'll never get it. He'll never get the type of infamy that he wants. He'll never be on shirts.

He'll never be like Richard Ramirez or these rock star quote unquote rock star serial killers that people like sexually fantasize about. You're nothing, dude. You're literally just a weird old man. And to your point earlier, Henry, he did say that in 1971. So that's when he married Paula dates and then they had the kids. But apparently his fascination with the Manson family was one of the things that sort of like, I don't know if it pushed him into serial killing. I think nothing pushed him. He would have done it no matter what.

No, it's fascinating with the with the fame concept. No, we all were into serial killers and we just became comedians. All right. So many people are entire fan base are people that read about the Manson family murders when they were kids. You can totally read about serial killers. It'd be fine. He's just he's just trying to be like, look how interesting I am. He is just such a psychopath that he took being a serial killer as a career move.

Like he took a lot of money off of it. This is what I'm going to do. This is what I'm going to do with my life. You know, if you love what you're doing, it's you're never working. It's never a job if you love what you're doing. But I do. But don't you feel that now that we're doing we love that it does actually it does still feel like working, but it's fun. Yeah, it's an immense amount of stress and immense amount of pressure, but it is fun.

And we're very fortunate to be speaking with all of you right now and we all love you so much. Hail yourself. Good. When it comes to thank you when it comes to BTK, you know, I mean, I really do blame. I blame the culture and I blame Roland Stone for putting Manson on the cover. He saw that. I think that was in 76 something like that. It's like, that's what happened.

All of a sudden Manson was bigger than, literally bigger than Charles Manson because he's very tiny. But his whole narrative got blown so far out into the atmosphere or the I don't even know what, what am I thinking about in the into the stratosphere? What? He thought he was, yeah, Manson was bigger than life and BTK wanted to be bigger than life. So he thought he could be like Charles Manson. Never going to get it. Never going to get it. Never going to get it.

Never going to get it. Never going to get it. Never going to get it. Never going to get it. Never going to get it. I love Invogue. Whatever happened to Invogue? I love Invogue.

Actually, they were at the Sands Resort when we were passing, when we were driving from Phoenix to Los Angeles. They are performing over there. I miss that. I can't wait to have, I can't wait for Casino, Henry and Ben. Oh, it's going to be so great. But like, I'm, we're not doing a meet and greet, but you can see me at the slot machines. I'll be playing the Johnny Cash slot machine. Which, by the way, in Atlantic City, I lost $300 to Mr. Johnny Cash.

I know he's dead RIP and he had nothing to do with it, but I trusted the machine a little bit more than the other machines. And he took me for a ride. I tell you what, I went to the one that had a little girl on it that would look like John Benet Ramsey. Put in $20, won $200. Really? Yeah. Wow. Golden touch.

Oh, right. So that is, that's basically the update on BTK. He's 73 years old now. Just get out, just get out of this earth. Fucking off yourself. Can't just somebody go and fucking bash his brains in the jail and the gym or whatever. I'm certain that he keeps himself very private. We know that when you have, if you want to write letters to him, you have to fill out a form.

You have to go and he wants to know all of this shit about you until age or hobbies where you live, like all of this shit. He's a fucking ugh. And then he has to approve you. The audacity of this man who used to do the, do the Buffalo Bill in the mirror, tuck in everything, kill in everyone, kill two children, by the way, has to approve you to speak with him. Yeah. That is pathetic. He's a real Corey Feldman. He's, he's highfalutin.

That's what I say. Corey Feldman gives a very interesting performance in the film, Corbin Nash on Netflix. All right. Well, you have to check that out. That's a great performance. So maybe that'll segue right into this Oklahoma teen who actually murdered for the same exact reasons. Well, sure. We can do the Oklahoma teen.

So this kid, he's going to serve five life terms in prison, which dare I say, you really only need to serve the one. But nonetheless, they give him five principal. I know it's the principal. He brutally murdered his mom, his dad and his two younger brothers and his sister. This was way back in 2015. The guy's name is Michael Bever. He was 16 years old at the time. And evidently he was homeschooled.

He says he was abused. His parents never let him go outside and play with the other kids. He was a real Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. Although he wasn't rejected from playing with the other kids because the other kids didn't want to play with him. His parents didn't let him play with anyone else. So that it was the motivation for him killing his entire family. Dare I say, he went a little bit overboard. I think he went overboard.

I'm just going to say that. But they did it in term with his younger, his older brother. And they're saying that apparently they're trying to all flip it to saying that the older brother manipulated him and killing the family. But the reason why I thought the story was interesting was because first of all, they said it was like, Oh yeah, it's because, you know, they were beating us. And it's like, no, they were homeschooled. So I mean, they were a little strange, but they were fine. You know what I mean?

Like they were just, they just, and the parents are super strict. But the, seemed the secondary reason they kind of floated out is that two of them said that together they were hoping to murder 50 people. And they really wanted their own Wikipedia page. This is another thing that ties back to BTK and Manson, their own Wikipedia page. Just make one. I mean, isn't that difficult? I mean, I don't have a Wikipedia page. So maybe it's almost impossible to get one.

But what a strange juvenile motivation to murder your family and want to murder 45 more people. I can definitely make you a Wikipedia page. Like I can make you one. It's putting the work in to do it, which I can do. But it's like a part of it is that I'm also like, you don't want me doing it. No, I definitely don't. I would prefer a fan who really has my best interest in mind. No, I would just, I would have an interest, sort of, I would have an interest in lying.

Yeah, you have an interest in public embarrassment and lies such as Bud Light Lime. You might throw that lie out there once again and solidify it in a Wikipedia page. I have proof. I have a bit of a bombshell. No, honestly, what happened was I was speaking with Brooke about it. She went through a Bud Light Lime phase. I said it was Jackie a couple of weeks. It was Brooke.

No. So you saw Brooke drinking, we're together all the time. You put me, and I don't even know what that says about you, but you, you blurred us together. And then, you know, that's what this is. You know what this sound is? It's you flip-flopping on your big bear belly. Oh my. Flip-flopping, flip-flopping, stripping, you're shifting back and forth.

The story's changing all the time. What's true and what's not true. Don't you swiftboat me. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you're swiftboatin'. Uh-huh. That's what you're doing. That's what this is.

I've got proof. Okay. And we're going to see it one day. I'm waiting just until you're at your lowest. Oh, I love. I'm going to get your lowest and your very bottom. And then I'll reveal what I have in store. I'll reveal it.

Well, I think you missed it. I think I've been at my lowest already. So there you go, buddy. You missed your chance. And also, you're just waiting until you get mildly okay at Photoshop. And then you're going to have your big Oswald-like reveal. And it's going to be so obvious. The shadow isn't right.

It's going to be pathetic. No. And I will have to have my own Kevin Costner defend me in the court of law. I will pay upwards of several thousand dollars of getting one of those, like, fake videos. And now they're faking that like they could put the face and make it say whatever you want. Like just you in a hotel late at night. All hammer going like, but my life is the only thing between this world and chaos.

Like something like that. Or just you just drinking it alone. So his older brother, Michael, he got, he got 253 years according to Oklahoma law. And he must serve at least 85% of his sentence of 253 years. So I think it's safe, safe to say, uh, Michael and, um, Michael and Robert Michael, Michael was the 16 year old Robert was the older brother. Uh, I think it's safe to say they will never be getting out. But if you look at the picture of this kid, he reminds me of the kid from I am a killer,

which is a fairly good Netflix documentary. The guy who goes into Rob the store, the store after his friend, after his lady friend took all of her boyfriend's coke and then they were like, Oh, shit. And then the guy was like, go rob this bank or go rob this store, uh, this jewelry store. And then anyway, long story short, a murder occurs, but he was like a baby. He looks like a 10 year old. And that's what this guy, Michael beaver better looks like too. He's kind of fucked to be honest.

You look at him and he's kind of got a Dylan roof kind of, uh, energy going, not Dylan. Yeah, right. Dylan roof. Well, Dylan roof is the one who shot up the church. He looks like him. South Carolina. And then he's got a Dylan Clebold energy, bad name Dylan. Yeah, maybe it is a bad name.

It's a bad name. Bob Dylan, but Bob is actually the first name. So Dylan is the last name. Okay. Dylan is the first name. Be careful. And maybe you don't have any guns in the house. Gay man.

Hey, just don't have any guns in the house and also make a kid either believe themselves or so not believe themselves that they won't kill everybody else. So what I would say is it's, it's a combination of both. It's encouragement, but there's also every once in a while being like, you don't have the guts to kill anybody and make sure you go, you throw that in every once in a while since they believe that. Right. Well, that might backfire though, because some people at a certain age take dares very

seriously and they say, well, I was dared to do it. And then that's why someone just went up and shot up a one potato, two potato at some center point mall. Yes, that's true. I can see, but also at the same time, if we install my plan of one in five children are gone away or put away. That's one nice way to put it. Yeah.

What they do is that then they just know the other day they'll live a life of how lucky I am that I won the lottery. Everybody's a lottery winner. So it's a public, you want these executions to be public as sort of a lesson for the other children. I, it would be kind of maybe interesting that if you could be at the maternity ward and it was like a kiosk kind of thing where people could vote in which baby goes down the chute. Oh, I see.

Like a, like a perverted mall Santa Claus from a Christmas story. These, I'm just spitballing. Oh, yes. Well, it's, it's controversial. I'm spitballing. If I was a part of a think tank, yes, I would just be one of the guys, but you need a guy like me on the think tank because I'm the one with the most extreme view and then they can all see where they've got to go to get towards the middle.

Right. Yeah. You want to be the thing that people don't want to be. Yeah. That's perfect. But that's my role in life. I don't know. People like maybe a Carl Rove type might just take your opinions very seriously and enact

them as actual policy. Well, that's where we're at right now with the actual kids. We're actually at that point now with the government. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, let's move on to this story. Now this is, it's not the saddest story because it doesn't involve a human death, but I think

it's the saddest story in some ways because it involves the death of a pug, an adorable pug as well. I'm actually even kind of feeling weird about doing this story because it is about the murder of a dog, but it's sad that we just openly talked about BTK for 20 minutes and I felt nothing. Well, I can't, he's not to feel anything. We feel for his victims, but he is such an overshadowing dark cloud of doucheiness that it's hard to focus on anything else.

Popped him in the head. Yep. So two men. Now these are main men for Maine, of course, perhaps they're related to Stephen King, perhaps not. They are accused of killing a six-year-old pug mix after kidnapping them from their former boss. This happened on Tuesday morning, a fellow named Nathan Burke, who is 37, and Justin

Chipman, who is 22, turned themselves into the Hancock County Jail after warrants were issued for their arrest, both formally worked as stern men on the dog's owner's fishing boat and the owner tells people he considered both of them friends. Well, not friends don't kill your dog. I'm going to say it right here. I'm going to say it proud. I'm going to say it clear. Friends don't kill other friends' dogs.

What do stern men do on a boat? Do they just sit there and be like, stop laughing? Everybody's dancing, stop dancing, tell those girls to put their shirts back on. We don't like it. Is it like that? I want a dry t-shirt contest. Yes. Why can't we ever have a dry t-shirt contest?

Just on the merits of the shirts that they are wearing. I have no idea. Yeah, if someone knows, please let us know what a stern men, what stern men do on a fishing boat. I watched Wicked Tuna. I watched one episode of that. I don't understand, but they didn't cover what stern men were, so I have no idea. Was Wicked Tuna like the world's most dangerous job?

I think they're fishermen and then they get tuna and I don't know why it's called Wicked Tuna. They're not even from Boston. I don't believe. They're like, oh, that's a Wicked Tuna. I don't know why it's just called Wicked Tuna and it really implies that the tuna has some emotional value that is, yeah, but the tuna is just tuna. It's pleasant tuna.

If anything, they look relatively nice as animals, big, but nice. You're overfishing them is what we're doing. We are definitely. But the other question is, do you ever see the other one where it's the truck on the ice road and the show is called Ice Drivers? Yes, it's called Ice Road Truckers. It's literally called Ice Road Truckers. And then the truckers are like, well, that's a big patch of ice.

Better drive over it. You're gonna drive over it. One person as a matter of fact, I believe that show has a death and I think Wicked Tuna also has a death. These reality shows are killing people because I'm sure folks are like, they would have stopped with the cameras on them and they got to be an ice road trucker star, so they drive up a very sharp mountain, very steep mountain when they shouldn't be. And what's the rest of the show?

Is it just about salt? I guess so. They don't have the ice salt truckers or the, yeah, the salt truck drivers. I think that's a really boring show. Yeah, that sounds terrible. Yeah, it's just a guy going, spread and salt, make sure the ice is defeated. Ice is our enemy and every day we fight it with the secret weapon that only defeats ice besides warmer weather and salt.

Yes, maybe if we move to a southern estate or a lower area or a warmer area, we won't have to deal with ice, but we do. And we fight it with salt, or we wait until it's June and then what do we do then? We take the salt and we put it on a piece of corn. Ooh, I love that. I've been watching, I've been, my favorite Instagram follow has been steak videos, at steak videos and there's a lot of pepper and a lot of salting going on. Anyway, back to this story.

We took a salt bay. What's salt bay? It's a guy that has sunglasses on who put salt on the thing and it became very big on the internet. God, we have never made the right choice. We have never figured out how to, you just crack the internet. By having something so simple, so stupid and so universal as salt that then you can be a multi-millionaire.

Yes. Anyway. Okay. So the suspects in this pug napping slash murder, they were charged with burglary, aggravated cruelty to animals, aggravated criminal mischief, unauthorized use of property and theft by unauthorized taking or transfer. They were being held in lieu of a $5,000 bail. This is according to the Winter Harbor Police Chief Danny Mitchell Jr.

He says people around here are outraged. People around here are outraged that the type of crime, that this type of crime has been committed. The family pet was taken from the safety of his own home, killed and dumped in the water, wrapped in plastic. My goal is to get this wrapped up and get closure for the family. So the question here is, why did they kill the dog? According to Frankie, that's the name of the dog, his owner Philip Torrey, he said that

Justin had also has a dog and apparently their dogs, this is according to the owner, he says Justin's dog ran in and Frankie went after him. We had to break them up. They weigh less than 30 pounds each. So it wasn't hard, but Justin was pretty mad. So the working theory is that Justin was so mad, the little Frankie, the dog attacked his dog that then he murdered Frankie, the dog. You gotta let dogs settle their own beef.

Dogs have their own wars. We can't be involved in the dog wars. We can't go and settle it with capital punishment as dogs. Dogs actually, a lot of times when they're fighting, it's playing. You have to look at their tails. If their tails are wagging, they're not fighting, they're playing and sometimes it's aggressive because that's how dogs are. You don't just kill them.

No, you do not kill them. It's also where you get your dog and you bring them over there and you say, all right, you guys want to have at it? Have at it. Or you just leave them alone because they're dogs and they're just playing around as Henry just said. It's just dogs. I was walking down the street the other day and I was, I was by, I wasn't walking, Wendy.

I was just walking and I saw these three dogs and they were going crazy, right? I was a little stoned. So I was like, I want to make friends with the dogs. They was walking them. So I kind of like got down, like, you know, do the thing where I show them back on my hands and like try to squat. One of the dogs went so crazy, he jumped up and it bit me on the meat right next to my fucking dick, like right up here, like it bit me up in the top, the soft top of my

thigh. Like just missed the head of my penis, but I didn't file charges. I didn't kill this dog, which is like, if it had bit my cock, I technically would have a legal, you probably do now. But I say, unless you are like, unless you need a new face, unless that's how bad the mulling is, oh, yes, your dogs leave the dogs alone. Well, yeah, if you chewed the top of my dick off, there'd be a lot of, I'd have to do it, but I'd like to call it overcorrection.

Right. Now, I mean, was the owner, I would say if the owner is like, yeah, that's right, boy. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Always fighting dicks. Oh yeah. Trained him perfectly.

And then you realize the owner actually has like a little hot dog in the middle of his genitalia to sort of train the dog, how to attack certain strangers at that part of their body. I don't know. Yeah. It's just him hanging a sausage out of his fly all day, get it, get it, get it, boy. Get it. I think it runs while he's like, nah, just lick it.

Oh, no. So this is what, this is what Torrey, he wrote this on his Facebook again, he is the father of the victim, the pug. He wrote on Facebook that the crime had been committed by quote, by an enemy that had a vendetta. Maybe I could wrap my brain around it better, but not by two guys I considered friends. So basically he's just like, these guys weren't even my enemies, I just don't understand. I'm gonna say, buddy, they weren't your friends and they sound like they were probably horrible

employees as well. Yeah. They killed your fucking dog. That's just, that's when the friendship stops. Absolutely. I always say, for me, I mean, obviously, I, you know, we are very close friends, very best friends. We're close.

Sure. But if you kill Wendy, it's gonna be a really hard road back. Yeah. I'd love to get you another dog and then it would have to look exactly like Wendy. Is that how that works? Honestly, sometimes, and this is a strange thing and I want to hear the audience's thoughts on this DM me at Ben kissle one on Instagram. I don't like it when people get the same dog over and over and over again and give it the

same name. That's weird. People, yeah, they do this sometimes and I don't think you treat, you've got to go through the morning process and each treat, treat each dog like an individual. That's what I say. Well, you just get different dogs. I plan to have many dogs. Yeah.

But it's like, I mean, I'll probably will get more Chihuahuas because I like them now. Love Chihuahuas. I'll kiss their little feet and I'll play with their little butts, not sexually, but I'll squeeze on their butts. I hope you're not like the evil character from the movie Dirty Work where they're like, I think he's definitely touching that dog. But Tori now, because the outreach was so nice, he says he's been touched and his race in his faith in humanity has been restored and Frankie little Frankie even inspired a

hashtag on social media so you know it's real hashtag justice for Frankie. And then he says our community and the family need a sense of closure for this and they need some sort of resolution and it looks like they got it because the culprits are behind bars. All right, Lord. All right. Well, good. Let's take out the motherfuckers.

This next story I want to talk about real quick. He's about a headless body in a fish tank. You know, people. What the heck is going on here? It was in San Francisco. A guy, a Brian egg, a man that people said it was a San Francisco eccentric, which means he didn't have a cell phone, which is they said that they said in conversion that that's how they were all like, he didn't have a cell phone and like he's just a guy.

He's an old guy. But essentially he disappeared sometime around June. He had friends, close friends in the neighborhood, an actor named Scott free, which is funny, who does stand up as a character that he does drag in drag as a character called Pippi Longstocking. He does these. He does all of this. I believe it's Pippi Longstocking.

Yes. Pippi loves stocking. Oh, yeah. I was going to say you got to have a pun in there. Yeah. Yes. So Scott free who performs in drag and does stand up as Pippi Longstocking does a he noticed that that his friend like this very good whatever is what they say, curmudgeon slash eccentric

man went missing. He usually let drifters live in his house, which sounds like he did that much of a curmudgeon if he lets drifters live in his house. Well, they were mostly male and he used to work for a he was a bartender, Brian egg was a bartender for a long standing gay bar in San Francisco, I believe called stud. And what he would do is that I mean, he just kind of like you'd have dudes over the house and guys would come and stay with him for various lengths of time. And he would open his house to it started turning into drifters, he had stopped working

for a very long time and was just kind of living off of various homeless resources where you go and eat your lunch. Yeah, he would do kind of stuff like that. But in the way that they knew it. So essentially he he would disappeared. They didn't see him for a long time walking his dog lucky was this puffy little dog. And they noticed a bunch of soapy water started coming out of his front door and then a company which you can just hire this thing that just showed up.

They noticed that something was really wrong when guys that they did not recognize were just kind of upside of like outside of their house outside of his house, a truck from a company called Aftermath Services showed up, which after math services, is that solely to clean up bodies after you murder them? Yes, I mean, this is obviously there's a there's a television show in here somewhere which which should be done. I've heard a little bit about this, but these are really like, if you have somebody die in your home, yeah, and like there are practical things that nobody really talks about and

part of it like what happens if you like law awful scenario, somebody breaks in your house, you have a gun, you shoot them, they're dead in your house. The investigation is now over, you didn't have to go and hire a service that a lot of times their jobs or do these where they call bio cleanups, right, right, right. When Scott free saw this truck show up, he was like, there's something fucking awful going on. They call the cops show up, they like, well, let's go in there, they go and see the house. And then they find in a fish tank inside the house that was hidden in a room, a decapitated

body that's hands were also missing, covered in cleaning fluid. So they go and they assume that it's Brian egg, but they don't know for sure. But it's just it's a fucked up story and the two people just living there, they just moved into his house, murdered him, took over his whole life, took his credit cards, started buying shit on his credit cards and then just acting like they were him. Okay, so yeah, the police haven't released what kind of liquid was in the tank quite yet. It seems like a cleaning supplies.

Yeah, they arrested two dudes who had been neighbors, who neighbors said they had seen at the home around the time, one of them Lance Silva, 39 years old. He was charged in court documents using eggs credit card to order the crime scene cleanup van and by a used BMW, $5,000. Oh yeah, man, living it up. So he financed the cleanup with it with the dudes credit card and then then went the BMW route, I guess. I mean, he's that's kind of have the same plan, we're going to get rid of Natalie's

car and I want to buy a used fancy car because as you get the fancy car that you like, but not for the prices that a fancy car normally holds. But it's just a very fucked up crime and mostly it's what's sad about it is that it was just kind of this generous dude that was super eccentric because he won't text and he got taken advantage of by a bunch of dudes that then came in and fucking beheaded you and it shows you got to just stop letting people know more guests. No more guests. We've seen it time and time and time again.

What guests can do wasn't Sinbad house guest, you know what, and yes, he may have caused a bit chaos when he arrived, but in the end, his love and his laughter, he brought the family together in a way that they never really understood before and they never looked at each other and they said, hey, why don't we kick off our shoes for a little bit and relax? Right. Yeah, there was a whole run of movies in the mid 90s where it's like, yes, I've broken into your home. Yes, I'm a con man, but aren't you happy your parents stayed together and it's really

quite bizarre. Did you see? Well, no, there were so many Mrs. Doubtfire as the story of a deeply disturbed individual that went as far as to where fake tits in your own family's home, he almost fucked that bus driver. No. You remember that part? Yeah.

When he said something like, the simple lady like you going home alone. There was a second there where Robin Williams was going to sit on that man's lap and let him come into his fucking, his big, thick pantyhose just to keep the ruse going from his family. Well, I think they edited that part out of the movie to keep it a family friendly film. So the police, they originally arrested, they arrested the two dudes, two guys on charge, the other guy was named Robert McCaffrey. They were arrested on charges of homicide, fraud, theft, identity theft and elder abuse charges.

But now these charges were dropped, Silva, the one for mentioned, he remains in custody on a parole violation from a previous fraud case. But the second dude, Robert McCaffrey was released. So how I don't fully understand, they don't seem like it's, they're safe really seems like San Francisco now has two people who have beheaded someone or one person is not one of the straights who beheaded someone. It definitely seems like something else will come out in terms of what was the, they must have, I guess have some sort of proof that it was consensual, not like just the occupying

of the house was consensual, like them being there was, because I'm certain it was, I'm certain that he did say, hey, you can stay here. And then now they have to piece together how do we make sure we prove that this body that's now essentially been boiled and bleach, you guys made it. And I don't know why this is, it doesn't really mean anything, but this is just the facts. Egg was going to be 66 years old and his birthday was on September or will be on September 11th. So that's gotta be a horrible day to have a birthday that's all I'm gonna say.

I don't know the opposite in a way. You cannot legally celebrate. You cannot be happy on September 11th. It's starting to turn. It's starting to turn, we're gonna be getting barbecues on September 11th in 10 years. All right. I can see that. 10 years.

It's gonna be a national holiday. We'll be having barbecues. You'll be loving it. We'll be giving each other gifts. But they have to be delivered via paper airplane, which is a very not sensitive. It's not sensitive. It's not nice. Not at all.

Speaking of, what I always say speaking of ultra sensitive, we could talk for a hot second is that it is Elliot Smith's, it's what it was the, it's the 20th, it's his birthday this week. No, it was his birthday was last month, but I was looking into his autopsy reports because happy birthday, Elliot Smith. I don't know too much about it. Obviously, I know he's a musician. I've heard some of his music and he was very sad and committed suicide.

I mean, he was sad. But you know that his first name was Stephen, Elliot Smith. Stephen Paul Smith. Yeah. Stephen Paul Smith. Well, how'd they get to Elliot? Elliot was just something he came up with and apparently he was mercilessly mocked for it at school.

Well, it's interesting. Well, it's not a nickname. It's just a different name. He walked into, he, yes, he kept his sadness was both real and also I'm going to go on an Olympia. Don't attack me for this. It was a little, he also wore it like armor as well. And because he didn't want to go with Steve Smith because he said that sounded like being

a jock. So the Elliot Smith made him sound more sensitive. I don't, it's weird when you walk into school and you're just like, I'm Elliot now. But everyone's like, your name is Steve and Elliot's not a derivative of Steve. I don't know if you can just do it. You can do whatever you want. You do whatever you want. I mean, but I also think your friends also have a right to be like, so now you're Elliot.

But there's a lot of talk about whether or not his, his death was a suicide or a murder. There's a lot of people who try to put it onto his final girlfriend, Jennifer Chiba, that was, he was helping her band at the time. And there's some, there apparently they had a horrible fight the day that he was, that the, his death occurred. And there's some people saying that number one, he owed 20 Gs to the fucking Mexican cartels, which seems kind of far off. And there's another view that Jennifer Chiba herself murdered him, which I also think

is very intense to say. So let me, let me just set the scene October 21st around 1pm Echo Park in Los Angeles. What year are we talking here? 2003. Okay. And then Jennifer Chiba in their apartment in Echo Park, they start having an argument. The argument apparently is Jennifer Chiba recently had a DUI and was trying to get a ride to her therapist's appointment.

And that apparently set everything off in motion. They start yelling and screaming at each other. Jennifer Chiba runs to the bathroom and locks the door. Elliot Smith is pounding on the door to let her in. He's crying about five to 10 minutes later. She hears a scream and a thud. She opens the door. She finds Elliot laying on the floor with two plunging wounds in his chest.

So that's what happened? Yes. And in one of the wounds was the knife still in his chest. So she rips the knife out of his chest. Oh, maybe not the right idea. And calls 911 and she performs CPR. The cops show up, they take him away, 20 minutes later he dies of exsanguination, which is no more blood.

Yeah. He bled all of his blood out. That's a nice way to say no more blood. That's weird to me. I don't know. She might have gotten off a little easy here. I'm not saying that she did anything. I don't know.

But I feel like cops usually, I don't know. I just feel like they may have very well charged her. Well, actually, if you look at the autopsy, the mode of death is undetermined because of a couple of different factors. They didn't even call it a suicide officially. Really? Because it was so open-ended. Has she spoken about this at all?

Oh, she's done with it. The thing is done. She didn't say anything for a while, right? And then she recently kind of came out and started talking a little bit about it because we'll get into some of the autopsy discrepancies. Two knife ones to himself, apparently. First one was two inches, second one was seven inches. That's not easy to do.

No. No hesitation marks. But that's what they said. Was he on drugs or sober? He was completely sober. How do you... I don't know how anyone could do that. That's the thing.

Like two inches, then seven. That is really fucking being deliberate about your suicide in the most unorthodox way. Did they also say that the hesitation points, because that's what they said, is it common in suicide by stab wound, there's the hesitation marks, where the first couple kind of like searching stabs are done, but what if they were on the same mark? And on his arms, they're also, they think he had, or they somewhat supposed that he had defensive wounds on his arms. Although...

What? I feel like... So he had a cut on his left arm, cut on his right arm, and then two cuts on his hands. Well those are defensive wounds. Those are defensive wounds, but he was also a cutter. So he was probably slicing and dicing himself outside the door while Jennifer Chiba had the door locked. This is what I'm saying.

He's sad. Uber could have saved the day if Uber was around there, hop in one of those, maybe a lift, or at least some cell phone so that you could have been like, you're on InstaStory. And I mean, then this is definitive proof that I am not the one stabbing. And at least according to the forensics person, apparently when you do it and act like this, which is very rare actually to stab yourself in the heart like that, you usually lift your shirt up or take your shirt off or expose the skin. He just went right through the clothing, although many of his friends say he wouldn't

be caught dead with his shirt off, much like you, Ben. Really bad body, huh? He was literally every type of sad. He was every, he was all of them. He was every color of the rainbow of sad. He was upset about his success. He was upset about his not success before. He was upset about him dealing with his, like, because basically he took over the engineering

for his girlfriend's new album. He was both upset and not upset about that. He had a lot of shit going on. But he was clean and sober and I think what had happened was basically he was a man without his medicine. So all of his like, all the trauma that he covered up with heroin or with alcohol was just sort of now an exposed nerve. And he got into a situation where his mental illness was rattled and he ultimately did

what he had been trying to prevent with drugs the entire time. Go, go to the doctor and get on some medication if you need it. Would they say it's very interesting about, there is such a thing as manic depression. Of course. Like when you go into certain levels of very deep, intense clinical depression, you can go into these waves of manic depression. They say a lot of the reason why it's not, the people depressive, there's another thing the same thing about Anthony Bourdain is that a suicide in depression a lot of times does

not happen in the depths of your depression and that's normally when you're immobile and can do nothing. Yeah. It's when you're coming out because it's like you get the energy back, you're getting the energy back and then you're liable to do something stupid and impulsive. Well I think that's what happened to Artie Lang as well. I cannot believe that man is still alive and I hope that he stays alive for a long time. I know you work with him on Crashing Henry but he did a similar thing and that's what

he said during his, one of his manic fits stabbed himself multiple times. All right. So that's Elliot Smith and go check out his new hit. I don't know, does he have a new hit probably? I don't think he does. I don't think he does. I think that he does have a lot of sad stuff out there and it's pretty damn sad and we definitely did a mock version of Elliot Smith for the title cards of my character special.

Very good. All right everyone. So that's one of the fun stories of this week. I don't know if fun is the right word. That's never the right word for really anything that we cover here on Last Podcast. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes it's fun. But thank you all so much for listening and I think you're going to love this week's topic

on Last Podcast on the left proper. I will not tell you what it is but it's going to be a party. It's going to be a party. You'll say you'll love it. You know people laugh and love all the time. They do. They do. Because they're not living.

They come from the dead. They're doing it from heaven. And that's not really doing it. I like I think I said the last time was eat, fuck, dance. I don't know. I try to forget this part of the show. Grip, rip, jump. That's what you're going to do this weekend.

There it is. If you're cliff hanging, I don't know what you're going to do. But sometimes I'm living and I'm laughing. If I'm living and laughing, that's actually probably me at my scariest without the loving. Right. Absolutely. Now that's mad. I can.

Yes. Very frightening. That's what I'm at. I want to have love. Love, ladies and gentlemen. I hear it's what keeps us together. Okay, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening.

Find us on social media. You know where to do it. We just went over 100,000 on Instagram for Last Podcast on the left, which is so nice. So thank you all for following us there on Insta. We're finally valid. We finally got the missing piece, Kissel. How does it feel? How does it feel to finally be fulfilled?

Does not feel anything. That's the thing with social media. I remember when I had like 5,000 followers on Twitter and it's like, can't wait to get to 10. And then I got 10. I was like, I want 50. You got 50. And then it's like, it doesn't mean anything.

So I didn't get the, I did not feel the reward. And then I realized the reward is in your heart, not on your social media feed. Well, it's because it's how they built the fucking apps, because we got a little reward systems from earned orphan spikes. How does that feel? How does that feel? That's why I like my slot machines and Atlantic setting. Well, hey, everyone, they hail yourselves.

Thanks for listening.