Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: One Story After Another

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's side-iest stories and true-crime news - but first, we recap the first week of 31 for 31, Unidentified drones continue to shut down airports in Germany, Texas man terrorizes driver who accidentally hit his dog (robs him and beats him at gunpoint), an unexpected twist for the worst subway employee in Australia, the boys get you in the mood for Halloween with some deliciously spooky Listener-Pastas, and suprise: a slew of new tour dates for 2026! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes oh shit that guys we are rolling rolling rolling rolling rolling rolling rolling rolling oh rolling break stuff break stuff break it break the stuff break the stuff break The stuff. Break the stuff.

Eddie, how is your 31 for 31 treating you? Oh, you know, it's fine. I think of a lot of these movies I put on there for nostalgia's sake. Same. And they don't hold up. But the key here is with Halloween movies

is that they don't have to be the scariest movies. They don't have to be the best. I'm okay with it being bad, honestly. It's Halloween. Yeah. And it's about celebrating Halloween each time you watch one. That is the one thing about horror movies is I can watch a really bad one and just be like, oh, okay,

I feel good about that. Yeah, I don't get offended. At the end of it. But there are some of these movies as I'm now 44, as of this weekend. First of all, give a big old congratulations to Ed Larson for not eating himself to death. He did it. He did it. He beat food.

I am as old as Himmler was. Wow, congrats. Also, he was executed. Congrats. Today's Himmler's birthday. Oh, today is Himmler's birthday. Happy birthday. I'm So happy I don't have the same birthday as Himmler. It was close. Real close.

Your mommy was really watching that clock. Yeah, she was. I don't think I would, if I were to cook two more days, who knows how big I'd would have been. Oh, wow. Yeah, welcome to side stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Yes.

Almost seven movies. He's my almost birthday twin with Heinrich Himmler. Oh, yes. Almost almost. Almost. Know who I got. I got another war criminal, Chester A. Arthur. Oh, fuck him.

21 president, you piece of crap. I guess he's fine, maybe. I don't know. I don't know anything about him, to be honest with you. I just like a president whose first name rhymes with Brestor. Yes. Yeah, come on. Yeah, yeah.

Come on. Where my dudes at? Yeah, baby. All right. Brester, hey, Arthur. But yeah, I watched the gate because I wanted to, like, you know, Rob really likes the gate and I talk shit on it. And I'm like, all right, maybe I should watch it again. Yeah, you did that.

It was slightly better than I remember, but still was not good. It's for children. It's for children. But the demons look cool. The demons are cool. I would like to have one of those little demons. in my house. I think that would be, yes, Tutsi. If I shave

Tutsi, she would look like that. She got the horn on her head and everything. I watched the strangers, caca. The thing about the strangers. Big caca, do-do. I watch the strangers as well. 2008 strangers. For those of you that don't know, we have put together a very intense rubric for our 31 for 31, provided to me

by Jackie Zabrowski. I think next year we go back to our old ways. I feel like there's a good mixture. This one I like just putting a whole series in there. Me too. I actually really do too. But this was, I feel like this was good exercise is a way to spread it around, how to pick different styles of horror movies that we generally

wouldn't see. Like, yeah. Because to me, I have to force myself to watch old horror movies. Yeah. Because I have to remember. And what do you consider old? 70s and before? No, I actually consider I'm talking like 60s 50s. Like Hammer, that style of movie. I've watched very little.

If it's an afternoon, I'm in. That's my favorite. But if it's at night, I can't do it. That's the problem. I think, like literally after 39 the year of age is that if a black and white movie is on after 8.30 p.m. I'm asleep. A sleep. I can't

even, because again, it's not that gripping. Yeah. Even like if it's like pie. I'm asleep. I need see tits. I need to see blood. I need to see brains. I need to see like in order to keep me engaged like past a certain tired point. Yeah. I need

action. Some fun. You know? Only one of my movies had tits. Which one? Sleepway camp too. which lots of tits. And did you watch Sleepaway Camp too? I did. I watched Sleep Away Camp too last night. I made Julie watch it.

That was one of the movies I loved as a child, scared to shit out of me as a child, really bad. Hey, it's a slasher film. It's really bad. It's not even a slasher film. Yeah, I guess it's not. You don't even really see the killings that often. They like replay everything.

It's spoilers, by the way, for this stuff, I guess. Well, no, but that movie's from 1980s. Pamela Springsteen, Bruce Springsteen's sister. No what I kept thinking about. do you mean? Sleepway Camp 2 and Sleepway Camp 3 is starring Pamela Springsteen's Bruce Springsteen's sister who later became a photographer

and like shot a bunch of Bruce's album covers like Human Touch she took the photograph No way! She was in fast times at Ridgemont High. Yes, she almost married Sean Penn after making that movie. Oh then he really must have messed that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing was I'm watching Sleepaway Camp 2

and the whole time I'm just thinking you know she got Bruce to the premiere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just picturing Bruce, like squirming at the premiere, watching it's like, I got to get out of it. I watch my naked sister. I got to get the fuck out of here. How do I allow myself to do this? I'm the king of New Jersey.

I shouldn't be here. Yeah, yeah, she's Pamela Springsteen. My opening salvo, my opening movie of 31 for 31 was Halloween 3. I watched that. Which, again, the reason why I watched it is that specifically is not, does not involve Mike Myers? No, it doesn't. And I'm kind of disappointed in us because he's my favorite of the guys. But we have other things in there. Like

that's why it all goes around. Like last year I had a Halloween heavy year. This one was good to see Halloween 3. It's again, it's not fantastic, but the stuff within it is great and oh my God, what's his name? The lead guy from Halloween 3. That's like Atkins or whatever. He's like, Dan, is it Don Atkins?

Tim Atkins. Tom Atkins. Tom Atkins. Tom Atkins There's some side booted in there. There's something about Tom Atkins. They put him in films. There was like, men just used to be handsome to women in a different way. Yes. Tom Atkins, for some reason, every woman in Halloween 3 loved him.

Desperately wants to have sex with him. And it's the, and I feel like that's common for all of his films. And I don't know if it's just like, moustaches used to do a lot more work for us. 70s, 80s, you know, you wanted to look like an old man to get laid. There was something about it. Girls, I mean. Also, I think. if we really want to break down

what it is about it is it's poor casting and that poor girl who had to kiss this old man no Eddie no Eddie it's all reality Tom Atkins is absolutely letharia there's no way he smells like old cigarettes also that movie

pretty anti-Irish it's pretty anti they're like well you know why the Sauman Salwen is has the traditional roots kill the children yes well the traditional for what we know is Halloween does come from Ireland. And it comes from this whole, like, Druid, excitement. And it also

and it's kind of distinctly more American. Like, we've taken Halloween. Oh, it's ours. A way farther extent than they do in Europe, and then when they do in other countries. Yeah, because they don't have candy in Ireland. They don't allow it. Yeah. No, they don't allow it because they consider it Catholic. Yeah. I will

say, so I watched body bags. Oh, God, if you're going to watch body bags, rent it. Don't watch it on Peacock. The sound was off. Yeah. Peecox. Talks got bad transfer. Something happened. And I feel like no one, I feel like I'm the only person who is pressed play on body bags.

Maybe. It's very possible. But the sink is off. And I feel like no one has reported it. Truly, dude. We are spoiled by Criterion app. Yes. We're spoiled.

Oh, I'm so mad that we made this list before we found out what horror movies are going to be on Criterion. There's so many good horror movies I have to not press play on. Well, they're too artistic. That's what I want. I know. Those are the really, really good ones. This is Halloween, which celebrates the other side of it. You put Blood Diner on the list.

Yes, I can't wait. I have that on DVD, though. I just watched it. Yeah. And it's interesting. Is it not good? Well, it's very funny. It's very, very funny.

The best part about Blood Diner is directed by a woman. Oh. And she has, I believe her name is Jen. What's her name right there? You got her right there, Rob. Jackie Kong? Yeah, Jackie Kong. She did this, like, yeah.

It's an Asian woman that made an extreme. offensive, ridiculous film. Okay. It's a really amazing. Apparently, yeah, she knew Marlon Brando growing up. Cool. She was like all this kind of some very interesting, made a bunch of like weird slapstick movies. She made Blood Diner. She made

what was the other one? Night Patrol was a weird one and the being is also, is not bad. Okay. The being is not bad. All right. Well, I'm very excited because someone ripped me a copy of Blood Diner like 15 years ago and I've still, I've held onto it and never watched it. It's not a good film. This is the year. But it's

Fun. Yes, but I haven't seen that yet. So here's the one I have seen. Sinister, I give it a B. Yeah. Honestly, I rewatch Sinister with new eyes, and I actually liked it a lot better this time than when I saw it in the theater. I feel like they didn't close it out well. Well, all movies have a hard time closing it. And that was also... The first half scared the shit out of me, to be honest with you.

And also that character, the sinister character guy, does feel like sort of a dry run for what they ended up doing with... Buggle! Buggle! Bougool! I kept doing it to Me'am for cool. I'm like, be careful. There comes for cool.

Don't bend over. Inspired by The Ring, kind of. Oh, I could see that. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, Cargoe talked to me. Yeah, that was a, he's a guy, he right, C. Robert Cargo was a guy that did a lot of comic books and stuff.

It's also a funny, he was funny on Twitter back in the day. But I will say, of the seven movies I watched, the only one I actually really liked was Night of the Living Dead, 1990, Tom Savini. I love that one. I actually really, I didn't think I was going to like it. And then it was pretty, it was almost shot for shot remake up top.

And then, and then it like, really, I liked the way it ends. I thought it had a great ending. I'm not going to spoil that. And then, but I will say, uh, Tony Todd. Fuck yeah. It was good to see him in a normal role. God, he's good. He's great.

Tony Todd was a very, very good actor as well. Yeah, I liked him a lot. And then the chick had a great story arc, a character, her character arc was actually very good. I haven't seen it yet. I can't wait to see it. I was surprised how much I really enjoyed this movie. It's been a while since I've seen it, like literally since childhood. So that's why I put that on the list

was because I'd never seen this. And this was Tom Savini's directorial debut. That guy was hilarious. The Gandhi looking zombie who came in. He's like dancing in the doorway. It's so funny. I love the shit. Yeah.

He barely needed any makeup. But that's why it's nice we're firmly along on our ride. I hope you are playing along as well. It's a fun thing to do throughout the month and just constantly reminding us of the fact that horror movies are perfect. Each one is perfect. Like I said, even the ones I said, I did not

like six out of seven of these films. And I will say, I'm glad I watched all of them. But as I get older, as I get older, at 44, I watch the gate and I'm like, you know what? Last time. Get it. This is it. Wow. I'm like, last time. I'm like, I only got Half of my life is over

That's the last time I'll be spending two hours on that It's all the time I'm giving the gates I understand you're ready for the gate 2 now No no no no done The gate's done strangers done Sinister done body bag's done Halloween 3 maybe

Sleep Boy Camp 2 done Night of Living Dead might watch again Well also the ones you do need that's a real review That's what I'm doing I'm mixing between The 2 where I did Videodromas the classic I bought that I'm waiting for it to show up It's great. It's really fun.

The only problem, again, with Videodrome is what James Woods has done to his own self after the fact. Well, he's horrible. Well, it's another example of a character. He's horrible in the movie, too, but it's another example of an actor that was in movies at a time. This is, again, we're seeing the issue. The issue is that even when I was joking about, about Tom Atkins really being sexually a dynamo, I think a lot of these guys were in a lot of movies where it was written that all of these women would be why. wildly in love with them.

Yes. And they do begin to believe that it is true. Yes. And now that they're 80 and alone. It stops. And I think that James Woods like forgot at some point

that he's James Woods, the actor. And that in the script, they have to kiss him. Yeah. You know, but Debbie Harry's great in that too. She's very mysterious.

I'm really, really good movie. I haven't seen that in like 10 years. I'm very excited. I also forgot that video drone was all done by Rick Baker. Oh. Which gives it this other edge.

It's like the feel of the movie's fantastic. Cool. I didn't realize that. I love that. That makes me very excited for it. And I can't wait. A lot of our movies aren't available anywhere. And, of course, I ditched Hulu and Paramount Plus out of protest.

And so I know what I'm going to do. I found that local video store. I love it. It's called Be Kind Rewind or whatever. And I'm going to go there and I'm going to get all the movies from them. I absolutely love it. Keep it local. Yeah, keep it local.

Because why am I going to give Apple five bucks when I can give this fucking dude with a pile of DVDs five bucks? Absolutely. give anything to anything that keeps that man away from becoming a radicalized person at the foot of the fucking capital building yes yeah yeah you know what I mean anything that keeps him out so let's get to that we did a little 31 for 31 run down do we want to get to some updates it's updated man I'm right we hear you do this Aaron Hernandez update there is a fun one I saw in the listener emails it says I reprimanded Aaron Hernandez so in June of 20th I was hired at an escape room-type business in Foxborough, Massachusetts, at Patriots Place, the outdoor mall attached to Gillette Stadium. Oh, God. Yeah, how lame do you have to be to put a mall? Like, just people are going to go.

Do they all have a normal mall? No, no, it doesn't have a, it's a normal mall, it's not just the shop. There's a, why is there an escape room at a football stadium? I think it's because, to be honest, it's something for the wives to do to be hidden away from their violent husbands. I mean, Dolphin Stadium is a nice. night club. So what am I complaining about? While working, there were two places you could be. One, taking a group of people through the attraction or two, standing at the main desk selling tickets

and merch. About a week or two into my training, I came out of a tour I had just completed and I could hear the next tour proceeding very loudly through the show. I asked my manager what was going on to which he responded just some Patriots players that came in to take the tour. By the way, the system was down when they came in, so you'll need to charge them their tickets before they leave. Okay. Now I should mention I'm 5'6 blonde girl, who at the time was going to college to get a degree in theater studies, acting. All right, so we got a little actor working here. You know, she's working at trying their best in Boston.

You know, good for her. Yes. I truly had no idea who these men were. Of course not. Why would you? So when they enter their tour, walk straight past me out of the door without paying or acknowledging my presence, I was a little annoyed. I was a little annoyed. About five minutes later, one of them came back and asked for the,

I shit you not container of protein powder. They had left on the desk during their show. Our business was directly across from a GNC store. Why is there a mall right there? You got to get your money. Why do they have a Mormon? Why do they have a fucking mall across the street from the fucking giant Mormon temple of the center of fucking SLC?

It's because they get to make that money. They love that shit. So I look straight at the biggest man I ever seen and I advise him that, yes, He could have his protein powder back, but he needed to pay for the tickets first. He stared at me blankly for a while and said, uh, okay, let me just go get Mayo's credit card. And then left again. I learned later that he was referring to Gerard Mayo, not the continent, Mayo. He was pretty good.

Um, he came back. I swiped the card, gave him his protein powder and moved on with my life. Near the end of the month, I was selling tickets when I got a call from the office on the second floor, but with a large window that looks over the main desk. I looked up to see my manager who'd witnessed my interaction with the Patriots player and a few other co-workers looked out of me confused. I asked him what was up. Manager, do you remember

that Patriots player? You reprimanded for not paying? Me? Yes. Well, he was just arrested on suspected murder charges. As I'm told, my face went white. I slowly put the phone down and went about my day. I told my parents the story for a while. My father joked that Hernandez was going to get out of prison

and I would be his next victim. Jesus fucking Christ. We all know that's not a possibility anymore. Now I'm 31 and getting married in a few weeks. I recently retold this story to a group of my friends and found out that one of my bridesmaids is the daughter of the detective who arrested Aaron Hernandez. Massachusetts is so dang small.

Honestly, this is all, I just love the idea of we get so many emails of people rubbing up against murderers and dealing with murderers. So many people entered Aaron Hernandez's love because he was a famous person. Yes. So he was around lots of people all the time. And it sounds like across the board, he was a piece of shit. Yes. I have not heard one nice story.

No. I've heard stories. People talking about playing against him in high school now. I've heard stories. People have got so many messages of people. Any person. No one's like, no one's come to his defense. Not a single person said I had a good interaction with Aaron Hernandez.

You hear that Shiana? Well, you know, honestly, then I got a message. I got a message about her. Oh, yeah? I got a message about his wife and his baby mama. Oh, we don't need to get into that. But I'm just saying, I got messages. about the whole, they're not

the funnest group. Maybe it's because they're dealing with their struggles. Oh my God. I had this this reminds me of a story. When I worked at the village poor house, we'd always have football players come in all the time. It was a sports bar in the East Village. The Giants used to come through all the time. It was one of those places. And I was manager.

And whenever you get like a football player and you want to give them one of the good waitresses, you don't want to make sure they're taken care of. You know, that's celebrity. And that's also what you can hear right there is that every restaurant knows they have good staff and bad staff. Absolutely. You know what I mean?

Then you've got the bad staff you can't figure out how to get rid of. Yeah. And you got in there and their liabilities and they got to be there. You're hoping for them to not show up one day so you can let them go without paying them. Yes.

But anyway, so I remember Ray Lewis and Ray Rice were coming in for dinner. Now, if you remember, Ray Rice is the guy who famously hit his girlfriend in the elevator in Atlantic City and everyone to watch that footage. And then Ray Lewis was always accused of murdering that man.

on New Year's Eve when he was wearing her white suit, then the white suit went missing. You know, it's like a whole thing. When do you order chicken wings? They order lots of food. But anyway, so they're coming in and I'm, you know, I give my best waitress, you know, the table, because I know it's going to be a good

tip and I want to make sure they're taking care of. And I remember her going, she was the cutest, nicest. I remember her name was Caris. And she was just like really polite and calm and just like, good at her job. I think she's like a scientist now, you know? And so she got, she remember, she's like, I was like, So you got a very special table.

Some football players tonight. She's like, well, I hope they're not scary. And I was like, actually, they're the scariest of all. They're the two scariest football players I can think of them. Don't worry. You'll be fine. You're in a public place. Just be real nice.

And what were they like? Were they fine? They were great. They tipped well. You know, they tipped good. Wow. They took care of her and we fed them and all that. You know what?

Yes, but, you know, it's just a fun story. Anyway, regardless. Let's continue the show. Actually, I audit them, but that was very frightening. Live from your blade. The thing that is also happening, that's also out in the news, is that the Munich airport got shut down by drones this week. Up there.

Well, that's two days in a row. In the evening of October 3rd, German air traffic control restricted flight operations at Munich Airport as a precautionary measure due to unconfirmed drone sightings and suspended them until further notice. They had, this happened now. twice. It happened on Thursday and Friday. Yeah. And so they Denmark and Norway has also seen this

happen. What we covered last week in Denmark at the Copenhagen Airport and this is happening again. We brought again everybody's screaming, it's Russia, it's Russia, it's Russia, it makes sense that it's Russia. Unfortunately, they are saying we do track Russian drones and we don't

think that these are them. So that's or there's something, other some version of Russian drones but or something like these drones I need, you need to look at them, though, because it's actually quite frightening. It's a line of drones that sweeping around the airport. And again, they're not, there's no reports saying what the hell they are. The German authorities, just like the Copenhagen authorities, came out and said, you know, they're just saying, we have no fucking clue.

They don't know how to do a gigantic cross propaganda machine front like we do. All right? Like, they're not as good at it as we are. so they don't know how to lie at the local level that legitimately like we're scared and we don't know what it is no one's telling us what it is and it's very largely it just seemed to be I'm not even saying this is UFOs yeah well it seems there's also lots of Russian drones

that entered NATO airspace over Poland and Romania so they know it it's that yeah but that they knew they don't know what these are yes they know what those things are and they don't know what these things are but these definitely look like fucking they look like human drums They do look like human drones. They just look like they're way bigger and no one's claiming them. Also, at this point, conspiracy time, I think if I was an alien and they saw that we had all these drones, why not try to make shit that looks like our shit? We've been talking about this, the idea that they are legitimately just copying us.

I don't know. I also just think now we're in full bad actor zone. Like now we're just in full on the mystery zone in between Where nobody knows what the information is And we're specifically being gamed against ourselves Like we're supposed to be getting used to these mystery drones I don't know why I don't know what these these drones are accessing Yeah

It's over there now When you had ours We seem to not have ours anymore Don't know what's happening I mean they still show up There's still drones everywhere You can't now that everyone can have a drone I saw one of my backyard the other night

But we're talking about the key difference This is much like The way everybody does the Trump just jokes It's just jokes blah blah blah Where you try to minimize it It's like this whole like weird minimizing game going on Where it's like yeah

I get it Like I do understand that it's like It's stopped and they are drones They're machines But they're that's too separate. That's a two different sports. Yeah. But the drone you can get is not this shit.

No. This shit's like definitely the highest of end. It's military grade. proprietary level like giant drones. Yeah. So this isn't just normal ass people. Yeah. Remember the fucking I also got that crazy footage that we can't show because it's a, but I got it from Danny Falupo. I literally like we got one of those I love our life sometimes. We got one of those where

The shit that Eddie and I saw, like, and you can't see, honestly, is fucking wild. And we saw some really wild stuff. He wouldn't let me see who it was from. Yes. And then, like, because he got it from his friend. He wouldn't let me see who that person was. And then he showed me the video. And then he let me show that video to Henry.

It was very wild. And it was like, we don't. It was off a fighter jet. It was just like, it was just like a dock going up and down and out of the water. We don't know what this stuff is. We don't know. And then you have, what's his name? was it Tim Mueller?

Tim, what was the other guy? Tim Burnett? Was that the senator? The one that's just straight up came out and said, oh, we're not only talking to UFOs, but like they live off of California and I go visit them.

And like he was like talking about all this shit about how like, I mean, we absolutely know. I mean, we see activity off of San Diego all the time. Yes, but like, there's like, I think it was Tim Burchett who came out and said straight up,

there are aliens in the water. I mean, I mean, it makes place, it makes sense that the only place it would be. But this is also, he's a Republican, obviously, and Timberchette also, he's getting the only thing, the only weirdly, which is fucking ridiculous. Is he horrible? No, who knows? I mean, yes. But there are, he's the only person taking UFO seriously.

And he's talking about it as if it is well-known information, and it's just over with. You know, what's weird about the thing with San Diego, though, is, you know, you would expect if you see UFOs going in and out of the water, you would expect it to be incredibly deep, but the water is notoriously shallow outside of the coast of San Diego. So it makes me think that that's not right. And they ultimately straight up said the main reason why there, no one's moving on anything is because what the generals keep telling people like Tim Burchett is that they could have blown us up 20 times over. That's how I feel about it. Anytime they wanted and they haven't yet. So obviously they're either way to.

they're just hanging out. Couldn't give a fuck about us. It's very possible that they just be writing us off. What if they're trying to find a way to leave themselves? Yeah. You know what if it's like even that? They just don't have enough space gas. They're just like literally like guys, shut the fuck up. I don't even want to hear

you anything. Yeah. Like I just like, we're trying to leave. We want to go. They tell me, this is what Timber Chet said. They tell me something's moving at hundreds of miles an hour underwater. As large as a football field underwater. This Tennessee congressman told Republican Congressman Matt Gates, great. Oh, good.

I'm glad he's on the case. No, all, don't worry. This is the problem. This is the problem. It's all the guys I've got to talk to. It's how fucking like this? Yeah. Everybody's a fucking child molester or a fucking crazy person. The Democrats got nobody to talk to. We just got Chuck Schumer counting his corns.

And then we got their dog doing nothing. They all just love the fact that the government's off of work. They're all just sitting at home, doing jack dick, loving life. making fucking stock trades and we're all just sitting here they kick the football so they don't have to vote on the Epstein thing

and you got this fucking idiot getting trotted out in front of all the cameras being oh there's a football field size UFO in the water and it's like brown son of it moving the fucking needle dude yeah it's always it gives a fuck yeah some of those drones at the beginning of the year were shooting other drones

down yep like we just like stop talking about it well because again what that shows me somebody got the answer And no one wants, we're not allowed to know what the answer is. Yeah. And that's what they do. And they do each other.

Like, what the fuck? They do it specifically, like the thing over Yemen, they do it specifically so that they, this is, this is the, this is the, their version of a cover-up is to just shut up about it. Yeah. Because they're like, again, it's not going anywhere. No one's doing anything. The government's not working right now. We can all, nobody gives a fuck. You know, that's what they found out in the Amelia Earhart files.

Drones. Yeah, it was drones. Honestly, I was, like obviously, as you guys have heard me talk about in the show, I was really kind of like so puzzled that even like, because the Trump administration, one thing is that they're so transparent and they're so, they do what they say they're going to do. Yeah. And they, you know, and when he said that stuff about the Epstein Files, I was like,

first of all, I was so confused by Trump. Yeah. Not releasing all that information. I was confused and hurt in a way. But then all that went away when I saw the Amelia Earhart. Yeah, you're like, oh, he does believe. believe in truth. He cares in there because everybody knows

that Pussies Float. Yeah. And that's what the main thing I learned from the Amelia Earhart thing is that Pusses float. And it's crazy. The only thing they found was her bush. They found her bush. This is true. I don't know if you guys read that file. They found her bush.

A bunch of Japanese people were using it on an island as a way, as a fire starter. They were using the top of her bush as a fire starter because she weirdly enough, she grew steel wool. Well, she was so in tune with the sky. She was part airplane.

Yeah. Have you ever seen that movie Titein? Tatein? No, Titan. No. It's called T-I-T-A-N-E with like a French girl becoming like a horny car. No. That's Amelia Earhart. He wants a fucking car. She became an airplane. She just slowly became an airplane. To be honest, what I found out was to be on some of the most damning thing were all the allegations from other planes on Amelia Earhart that actually really showed me.

they name names. Orville Wright was there, watching Amelia Earhart making a twin Cessna eat her out at gunpoint. Yeah. And to be honest... They actually called him Horrible Wright. They did at the time. So honestly, I'm really glad that no one... The truth that came out of that document was so blistering that, of course, no one's talking

about it. Because, again, no one... She would never been president. It's certainly not helping the fact that, you know, people say women can't drive. They shouldn't fly. That's what this showed me Because that's where she said apparently I love women I'm sorry

One of the big things he doesn't He really doesn't One of the worst things apparently Was when she was flying was that she was so Distracted by the amount of menstrual blood Pouring out of her That she couldn't look at the dials anymore That's why she was eaten by sharks

They would have been fine when she fell When she said when Amelia got into the plane They called it the Vaj Pit And it just filled with blood And it covered all the dials So that was actually really difficult. So again, I can't trust women. And Amelia Earhart should never have flown.

And that's what I learned. And honestly, and I feel so much better. I'm released from all the bad news. Also in Munich, there was a bomb threat called in October Fest. So they're like, oh, it kind of lines up with the other one. It does. It's very strange. You just want to bring the story back around.

Yes, thank you. We have another. we have another horrific story here we do need to get into this story because the debate is sent the debate at the center of this story is really important yes yeah this one's this one's wild go for so follow us on this because again i go either way this is a thought experiment for all of us and we're all going to talk about this in a even keeled yeah sensible that's what we're searching we do take shit a lot for sticking up for The bad guy occasionally. We do. Yes.

And this is a case where we're all confused. Yeah. So it's Miniola, Texas. Great place. Texas man is accused of holding another man at gunpoint for hitting his dog with a car which killed the animal. Okay. Alberto Joshua Hernandez, 22. Emotional.

Yes, young. He is accused of forcing a man to dig a grave for the dog and withdraw money from an ATM to compensate Hernandez for his loss, all of the same. was done at gunpoint. Yes. So this is what happens. This man, the victim, they're calling him the victim, which is true.

Who? The man that hit the dog. Okay, yes. So September 8th. Lots of people hit dogs with cars. Yes. So a dog ran out into the street from a residential home.

Yes. A man hit it with his car. He pulled over. And another man came driving up out of the property in a Ford pickup, stop behind him. Yeah.

Hernandez, the young man with the gun. He got out of the pickup, and he pointed a gun at the victim, saying, I'm going to shoot you in the fucking head. The victim said he pleaded for his life, right? He put the gun to his head saying, you killed my fucking dog. It's an AR-15. Well, no, no, no, no, this is, I think this is a, there's two guns. There's two guns. There's two guns.

The first gun, I feel like, is a handgun, probably. Yeah, so he made him pledged, you just, you made him plead for his life. Kill my fucking dog! You kill my fucking! You guys, I got so far. It was a mistake. It was a mistake. I mean, honestly, yes, that's the scene.

Right? Documents say, Hernandez, you know, he forced the man at gunpoint to pick up the dog's body from the ditch, carried to his yard. The affidavit, then he said he took the keys in his phone, just being like, you fuck! You fuck are doing this funeral!

Right the fuck now! You're doing this right the fuck now! They went and he took him to an ATM. They got a shovel. Well, no, yeah. We got the shovel. He got the shovel. He dug the hole. He dug the hole. for the dog. They buried the dog. Then they went to the ATM. Yes.

While he's burying the dog in his yard, he goes into his house, switches out the guns, gets the AR-15, comes back outside, he's like, all right, now we're going to the ATM. Yep. And then they sat, they got the money, got him $200. That's how much it costs to deal with a dead dog. This whole thing, absolutely.

He said Hernandez took his driver's license, took a picture of it, told him I now know where you live. And if this is not enough, I'm going to come back and get more. and then which was kind of crazy when he came back to drop the guy back off he left he dropped him home

the guy drove away obviously called the police but when he showed up Hernandez's mother was also waiting so she was a part of this scenario as well now obviously the villain here is it's like this again

if you've seen one battle after another which is my favorite movie of the year it's really good Sean Penn's character is a horrendous villain that has at a sort of at his heart this very relatable there's a relatable yearning inside of Sean Penn there's like a relatable desperation

he wants to love he wants to love he like physically can't love it's like a whole thing right this villain is in that realm of being a Quarantino style like there but for the grace of God go I that man walks I get it if you kill

the wrong man's drug If you hit Carmen with the car I'd have two reactions One obviously is the screaming no Right is the screaming no Right Then Would I say I'm above

Wanting Do you Get that person who killed my dog Put him in the trunk of a car Take them out in the middle of nowhere I understand the urge. Drop him off. I get it.

And not kill him. I'm not saying kill. Like, I'm not saying you should kill. Yeah. I'm saying that I get the idea of dog walking a man that killed my pet, my beloved animal. And I could see the satisfaction that one would gain putting like a gun in his mouth, dragging him down the street by his ear with the gun in his mouth, tell him now you're going to be my dog. We all love our dogs. I'm going to make you my dog.

I could see that process go. I'm not a dog. I'm a man. Not anymore to me. Today you're a dog. Today you're a dog. You're eating dog food because that's what we've got for dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I will do, right? But I also, then I have a saint in me. I know it's illegal. I know it's illegal. I know I'm the villain.

Yeah. I know I'm the villain. He's the villain. But you're not, but you're the villain because you love too much. The love is so big. Alberto Hernandez had inside of him, his love was so large. He had to kidnap another man to prove his. Also, I have to say, at 22, you make bad decisions like this. You're a monster. Me at 22, I had just gotten my gun. You know, like, I didn't have a dog, but if someone killed my roommate's dog, I don't know how I would have reacted.

Yes. You know, so I'm not saying it's good that I don't know how I would have reacted. I think that if it happened now as an adult, I'd just be, you know, probably just slap the guy a bunch. Yeah. I mean, it's just really hard because we know it's an accident, but there are accidents to kill our beloveds and to make the other people. upset. They make you crazy. And I'm not as gracious as an Erica Kirk.

Yes. You know, like I'm not ready to sell merch about a dead Karmie. I'm not ready to sell. You're not ready to take over Karmie's podcast a week after she does. I'm not ready to take on that ad deal. I'm not ready to take on all that money that Karmie's going to leave the line. And Karmie was in that beauty contest that she won for no fucking reason. It's because I knew the guy that was controlling it.

And then I also met the man that I'm, pregnant, Karmie. I chose him as well. That's cool. Yeah, a young Republican dog. Yeah, fucker. But yeah, he's so, yes, he's a villain. And we're saying, last spot gets on the left is not pro

Alberto Hernandez. No, but I do sympathize and understand where he's coming from. Side stories, L-P-O-T-L-G-Mil.com. I know that, again, stop. If you're writing the email right now that says, look, oh, it's a crime, but... It is a crime.

We know. I know it's crying. He's going to jail. I'm just saying we should contribute to this man's canteen while he's in jail, so he has a nicer jail experience because he's dealing with the loss of a dog. You man's got props. Different people grieve in different ways. Dude, that dog, dogs are a...

You know, it was a good dog. Yeah, of course. You wouldn't do that. If it was a bad dog or a foster, like, I'm thinking of my three dogs right now. And, like, I think if someone hit Tootsie, I'd be like, well, it's her time. Tootsie's got to go. And she's slow, through the road, you know. And I don't even mean that in the...

I want Tootsey to go for her own sake. Honestly, if she went fast, it'd probably be great. Much better, yeah. If someone hit... Because she's going slow. Yes. No, no. She's still alive. 18 next month. If someone hit my new dog, my wonderful...

Harley. Yeah, Jizzy. Jizzy. If someone hit Jizzy, the foster dog... They're trying to get rid of. Yeah, I think we're getting rid of her this weekend. Thank you for everyone who reached out about getting... I didn't know that the Mazon Shore charged $500 for the time. dog. So I'm sorry that I said

that she was free. She's not free. It's $500 adoption fee to keep the adoption fee to keep the adoption process going. I understand now. I didn't when I made the video. Sorry. Because I got Harley for free. I didn't realize because I fostered her first and then they let me keep her for free. So I thought all the dogs were free. I did not know. But that

being said, if someone hit jizzy ah, you know, it's foster, not my dog. No must no fuss. Fucked up. You know, with an adopted child. But the if someone hit Harley, I think I might lose my mind. Yeah. I think I might because she's bigger. You would probably take her a while

ago. I think that I would like lose my mind and like fall into like some kind of weird psychosis. Oh yeah. And I would be like I'd do that thing where I'm just like call the cops. Call the fucking cop. It's not because I want to report the person who killed my dog. It's like I want to stop the me around so

I don't do something bad. Yeah. I mean honestly but I feel that that is what makes you a responsible member of society. Call the police. Call the fucking Col the cops on me. Call the cops on me. That's what would happen. But yeah, I also get it.

Do I understand Hernandez? Yes, because, you know, it's weird. Because in my mind, it's like even with human kids, I don't, that's how I'm going to get some obviously into trouble for even just saying this. But even human kids, it feels like you could make another one really easily. It depends on how old you are. But I mean, it- Hernandez's 22, though.

He's got plenty of kids to pop out. I'm just saying, in terms of, like, dogs, it's so hard to find that unique dog again. How long do you get for this? See, here's the thing. If he just. Kidnapping. a man. He's going to probably get 10, 15 years. I think the ATM is where

he fucked up. Yeah, buddy. I think I think it was the gun point in kidnapping the man and taking several locations. I think the gun pointing at the man burying him burying my dog. Ends there. I feel like you might just serve a month. You might be friends. I feel like, yeah, I feel like there might be something

that comes to that. The guy might even be like, fuck me, man, I'm sad. But it's the taking to the ATM. Hernandez was arrested by police and Moneola on Thursday in charge with aggravated robbery, aggravated kidnapping and drug charges. Well, yeah, he had drugs on him. Absolutely.

I feel like this might have been slightly. He's just been done an eight ball. Saw his dog get killed. That's a bad combination. You get my dog, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what happened here. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, wow. Yep. Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? You had two guns. Yeah, you shouldn't have so many guns.

Texas is easy to get guns. You know, it's a sticky situation. I feel bad for Hernandez. I think they're actually, unfortunately, like in Texas, I do believe that the gun has to go into therapy. after shooting. Yes. It's not the person.

The gun has to go because it's not meant to kill. Yeah, you have to bury the gun. Yeah, yeah. Separately. That's called being bullet kosher. Yeah, so I'm sorry this happened to you, sir. I'm sorry that you hit a dog with your car.

It's very emotional. Sorry for the man, too, because that's sad. It's sad to kill a dog. It's sad to kill a, you know, that fucks with you on its own. Yeah. Getting the gun pointing in your face does kind of cut that, you know, depression. And that way, I'd be thankful. Yeah.

Because I'd rather be scared than sad. In a weird way. He owes Hernandez. But that's, again, that's what the payment was for. Yeah. You're giving him a new lease on life. Leash, please. If he had a leash, this would have never happen.

No, exactly. Maybe there is, like, we could maybe also talk about that, about how offense could be in order. There's a lot of stuff here. There's a lot of hanging chads here. Not of hanging chads here. We'll let's talk about a little bit here. This one guy, this, you see this teenager who killed his parents,

then he, we killed his, was his, he didn't kill his parents. he killed his mother and her friend, and he stabbed them. This took place in Cambria County in Pennsylvania. So this kid, a 14-year-old, stabbed his mom and her friend to death, and then texted his girlfriend. I just killed my parents and then followed with JK. But as a matter of fact, he was not JK. He killed parent.

So I can see where his joke was. It wasn't a good one. Because he did that as in like psych, as in like that's a funny joke. Yes. But it's not if the text was funny. Yes. Now, obviously, you know, this just happened. You know, he still has to go to, you know, he has to go through court and all that.

It seems like there probably isn't. But he did. It does seem like he is the one who killed them. He was wandering around the neighborhood, screaming, I did it. Yes, he did it. But you know what we're not JKing about? Our brand new dates on JK Ultra. So you can go and check those out on last podcast.

guest on the left. We've got a bunch of brand new dates and we don't care what we say in a text. It's not funny to sell tickets. That's right. 20, 26. We're coming in. So basically today, Patreon members, they can buy tickets. Friday on sale to the general public. So get in their Patreon members. Get in there and get your tickets before everyone gets in there and buys up all the good ones. So here's what we're doing. We're doing January 31st, we're going to Philly. February 28th. I want to put this out. That Philly show is the biggest show of our entire tour. And we are going to be doing something special at that Philly show.

I want to fucking blow that shit out. Yes. I love Philly. We had such a good time when we did our side story show. And then the last time, last podcast and a left fun to Philly, wasn't there like a blackout or something? And then you guys were fucked and like, and so. Then we had a re-up on that show.

Philly is owed a real show. And we're going to come and deliver a big-ass show. Please don't fight us. And then February... But they fight amongst themselves. Yes. Well, you know, then the outsiders, you know, that come through. Yes.

They fight them. Very much. Fight them. February 28th, we're going to be in Austin. Very pumped for that. I can't wait. I've never performed in that city before. March 13th, Indianapolis.

April 25th, Cincinnati, scared to have my family see our show. Yay, come on. Let them try. I'm very nervous about it. They might have to sit at home. May 29th, Pittsburgh, going to be a lot of fun. June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Let's do it.

Grand Rapids is a really cool little town. I've never been to Grand Rapids. Grand Rapids, literally, some of the best beer I've had in the entire fucking country. I believe that. It's Grand Rapids. Also, we went to a very funny club. Where? And Grand Rapids?

Yeah, it's a funny club. Is it just like a club? It's like you went to a club and you just beat each other with sticks? No, that kind of club? Sexy time, man. Sexy? Oh, yeah. Everyone's real wrapped up.

Grand Rapids. We're all wrapped up. Grand Rapids. Real cold. Real cold. I remember we had to wait online outside of an establishment in the snow. It's like 1.45 in the morning. We waited

out there and we walked into a sports bar. Man, it was lit up, dude. Grand Rapids gets fucked up. All right, Grand Rapids. We're coming for you at June 27th. And then in July 17th, we're in Tulsa and July 18th, Oklahoma City. Going to be a fun. We're doing double time in Oklahoma. We're covering it all.

Honestly, it's great. But just so you know, we're not killing any parents on this tour unless, of course, it is Ed's wife's parents if they come and they get so offended by the material that they die. They will get offended by the... Yeah, they can't come. Do they not understand that these thoughts

support her daughter? Oh, love her daughter. That is the thing. I think that it might be split. I think if they come and see the crowd and be like, oh, shit, Ed's like really successful now. They might like you. You might like it.

But then they see it. what I'm talking about when I scream Hail Satan and then 2,000 people yell Hail Satan back. I'm worried how they might handle that. I wish that they could understand that that means Satan's winning and Christ is losing. You know what? I'm at Bridgetown Meets. I want to talk to you. You have to tell Julie's mom, Janet Rosen, when she's there every day pretty much buying meat from these men. I think you need to tell her it's okay what I say on stage. All right, Bridgetown Meets, I support your ham salad. I support everything you do over there.

He does. Delicious Mets. I love the Geta. You guys are amazing. Go to Bridgetown Meets. Tell Julie's mom, whatever I say on stage, it's okay. Yeah, again, it's a character. It's a character. That's what you say. Say to them. You say it's a character or I don't mean it. The strong, strapping men at Bridgetown meets, let Janet Rosen know

that Ed Larson can say whatever he wants on stage. Honestly, it also would help too if you say stuff like, This is Rosen. God, you look fucking good today. Yeah, you look great. God, damn. Mr. Rosen. Where's Mr. Rosen? Here, here's some free ham salad, just for you.

I'm going to see you eat it, though. I found it. Yeah, there's the ham set. Look, they have to stock up more now because of me. Yep, only because of him. I'm selling this ham salad, dude. Go check it out. Bridgetown, finer meats, Cincinnati, Ohio.

Live from your blade. So we want to do this. This other story is really fucking stupid about the hunter who shot the kid thinking they used a squirrel. And then the problem is with the kids thinking he's a squirrel. He's way bigger than a squirrel. Yeah. He's not even that hairy.

No, and it sounds like an excuse. It sounds like I just want to shoot that kid in the head. Yeah. Well, if the kid's dead. Exactly. Yes. So, be careful. Also, an Australian dock worker was fired for putting his penis in his co-worker's subway sandwich, but now he's allowed to work there again.

What? Yeah. How did you get to go back? They were like, eh, it's fine. I mean, Australians famously have a wonderful sense of humor. Yeah. So I wonder if it's partially that. But how do they tell that it was his penis was in the sandwich?

Um, it said, uh, his employer accused Smith of showing his male co-workers a bikini-clad photos of female colleagues also telling one that he had spat. Wait, say that again. Say that again. Wait, what was this? He was in trouble for showing his male co-workers bikini-clad photos of female colleagues, but also But wait a second, were they were just on social media?

Yeah, I think he was just like looking up Instagram pictures. He's being a creep. He's being a creep. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah. But then he put his cock in someone subway sandwich and he called the colleague a useless piece of shit and a condescending cunt. My question is, is that they then go, they then were like, Ah, you're all right. Yeah, they fired him.

That was funny as hell when you think about it. Yeah, I think a week went by and like, ah, we miss him. And so they said the termination was harsh, unjust and unreasonable. But did he put his penis in a sandwich? He did put his penis in a sandwich. But what's the proof of that? Was there video? He said it.

What do you mean he said it? He told people, I put my cock in the sandwich. Australians. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Never fucking say, I'll fucking, there's no way to prove it. Yeah. Uh, yeah, so, um, there's no way to prove it, guys, unless you got mustard on your balls. Yeah, but the thing is, I think the reason they hired them back is because it was just a subway sandwich.

And it's just, it could only have made it better than worse, you know. Do you think that he was like, he's the office personality hire? Yes. Yes. It's actually interesting because he didn't get caught doing it. No, no. Someone just said, it's hearsay. Like, someone's like, he said that he did it.

Well, it smells his dick. Yeah, it smells like tuna fish. Oh, someone's got provolone dick. It's like getting fired because someone said that you did something, but there's no proof of it. Yes, but you said you didn't. Right, but he's like, he could be like, I was talking shit. You know, it was, it's not true. Yeah, I know, but I will say, uh, it's probably easy to be a dock worker there.

I mean, I guess it's real easy going But it's like The Australians are famous for being Fun-loving party people And but the thing as Australians Is they, I guess it really is The other guys must have finally just been like Ah, who hasn't?

Yeah You know what I mean? The rest of them must have just been so like What are they called Burger King over there? It's um Hungry Jacks Hungry Jacks Yeah

Because of one man Yeah I do One man stood in the way Of Burger King's rights To the Australian Your King. He said it was amazing. It was really, really great.

Yeah, so, yeah, so if you are going to work at the docs, know that you can get some cocks. Oh, God, it's just, I do feel like they really should. They should kept him fired. I really feel like it's a bad precedent to set. Yes. But I also understand if it's hearsay, because if dock workers aren't looking at the evidence, who is? Yeah. And, you know.

Because you know they had a tribunal. They had to set it up with a judge. Then they had to make him a fake wig, got a spaghetti. and then they had a fake lawyer they had a whole like it was on the dock like they did like an unofficial trial like they do it in a sitcom oh my god the way he apologized for showing

the pictures of the female co-workers was a he said that he shouldn't be using his phone while at work ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha who would an asshole what a fucking piece of not even that I shouldn't be doing it no no lessons learned

not a single one Oh, well, hey, so enjoy your Subway Sandwiches, Australia. Yeah. Because they are chock. Full of a cat. All right. We promised some spooky stories. Yeah.

And I think it's time because I actually have a doctor's appointment and I have to go do. All right. So we have to begin this. It is time. It is time. All right. So you're going to go first? For some listener pastas.

Ooh. Scary stories from the audience. You got one? I got one? Yes. I'm going to read this one. Again, we're just going to do smatterings. We're just trying to add more ghost activity to the show.

And so this is our way of getting us all used to, the spooky waters of Halloween time. So, ladies and gentlemen, Bucky, buggy, buggy! Scared you, didn't I? Smoke a giant. Pretend to be a skeleton for a little while. And get ready to be spooked by some scary listen of stories.

Mm-mm-hmm, mm-hmm, ah, ah. It's a monkey noise. It's not a ghost noise. It's a monkey noise. Yeah, well, a monkey could be scary if it's ripping your fucking lips off. If it's a ghost. I was at a friend's co-worker's apartment in West Hollywood. There were three of us having a girl's night after work.

We were drinking some wine, gossiping about work and listening to music when one of the girls casually said she knew how to twerk while doing a handstand. Obviously, we said prove it. And she proceeded to do a handstand with her feet leverage against the front door and performed her expert level twerking. We all started hooting and hollering as you do. And abruptly stopped when we heard someone pounding on the front door. It sounded like a large person banging with a closed fist.

My friend opened the door. With our ashtits? No one was there. Oh. She, yes. She, with her butt hole. She grabbed the doorknob, a true performer, ready for Los Angeles.

It's something like a large person banging the door. Now, she closed the door. She opened the door, no one was there. She closes the door. Turns to us, shrugs. Then it happens again. She was still next to the door, so she quickly flung it open.

Again, no one there. The apartment was a flat in one of those really old buildings. It had two units downstairs and two upstairs. There was a single staircase going up, and a small landing with an apartment to the left right about 20 feet away from each other, so not very accessible and not very many possible culprits. While we were trying to figure out who could be doing it

and how they could get to the door and disappear so fast, we started again hearing what sounded like coins dropping around the apartment, and the banging happened again. Again, no one there. She texts all three of her neighbors asking if anyone had knocked and they were being too loud. No one was home directly downstairs.

The old lady across the hall was in bed And the other downstairs neighbor Also had a couple of people over and hadn't heard us Meanwhile, I start to see Small white shapes flying past the window Almost like birds But it was dark out We look at the window to the front lawn

Nobody's there The knocking happens yet again And the twerking girl says She has to leave I was supposed to stay the night She's got to get to Yeah she got to go I can go twerk for Abraham

I'm like it I was supposed to of the night with the other girl that was with us, but I decided, no, you know what, no thank you, I'm going to get an Uber home too. I get home, call my boyfriend, now my husband, to tell what happened when we were interrupted by a FaceTime call from the other two girls. They were both crying and outside walking from the last remaining girl's car and were heading to her place in Long Beach because the pounding wouldn't stop and it had happened while they were in the front of the door again and they immediately opened and absolutely no one was there.

The girl that lived in the apartment stated our friends in Long Beach for three days until her roommate came back from vacation so she didn't have to be alone in there. And she found pennies and dimes scattered around the floor. And when she opened the front window,

she... Exactly, right? She noticed there was a paper shoved between the Iron Juliet balcony and the window door. It was renovated from the original and there was about an inch from the balcony to the doors. Upon closer inspection, she discovered that it was a bunch of her

mail, which is what I'd seen flying around that window, and you can only get to the mail by entering the building with a key and opening the mailbox with a key. I've always been sensitive to heavy energies, allegedly haunted spaces, and this was not the first or last time

I had a weird experience, but it was by far the scariest. I refused to ever go back to her place. Maybe coincidentally, maybe not, all three of those girls turned out to be very, very not cool. Maybe something was trying to tell me. Oh, or maybe

the ghost like strippers. Literally, that is my first thought. And he's like, he saw a twilight and he's like and he's throwing money at her. But I do think that there's something to the idea that the other chicks were not really cool and that there was something in their trick. Because I find that very interesting. The idea of a disembodied noise

you can't control things because that's what's called apportations. Yeah. Apperations I believe so. Apparations are what you see. Apparitions. Yeah, which there wasn't because the white things were male So that wasn't an apparation An aberration is seeing a ghost

You shut up! You're just a fucking mouth! You don't have to Google it. You mean like an EVP or a phantom sound? Phantom mouth, it's people, it's the EVP is a type of thing that's called It's when things fall from the ceiling. It's called like Apportations or something like this. We'll get it out of, you know, whatever. You don't know nothing! You don't know anything! I know that apparations are sighting of a ghost.

Yes. Well, either way. Yes, it's apportations Apportations. Yes, A P-P-O-R-T All right, so. A poor use of words. No, it was actually very good. It's actually quite good.

All right, you go. By the way, my monkey noises were appropriate because Jane Goodall is now a ghost. Oh. Did you hear about what happened with her? What? Jane Goodall. So Jane Goodall passed away this week,

the wonderful Jane Goodall, one of my heroes, to be honest with you. She died suddenly in her sleep. which, God bless her, she deserved it. Thank Christ. Yeah, I'm glad she didn't die like at a fire. But she was supposed to be giving a speech in Pasadena

and a bunch of children and no one, and like, and then she just didn't show up. And so the auditorium's full of children waiting for chinkled all to come talk to him. Yeah, at least she didn't die in front of them. But someone had to come out and be like, she's dead.

She's dead. And all the children started crying and shit. Why would you? you fucking do that. I guess I don't want to lie to the fucking kids or whatever, but still, just fucking for the afternoon, we could just be like, Jane's late. Jane's going to come back, you know, like, well, let's just put a bookmark into this.

They didn't tell everybody when stupid W was reading the little book that 9-11 was happening. Yeah, they just came and told all the children that the person they're here to, like, talk about monkeys with them. Fucking dead. She died just like you're going to die. All right. You're going to grow old and you're going to die. what you've done to love chimps.

You can love a chimp as much as you want. This one's called... You're still going to be a fucking corpse. My haunted dorm room from Corny, which I think is Courtney, but they didn't put the tea in there. I'm sorry for it. You apologizing to Courtney?

To you, my friend. All right, we'll see how fast I can get through this. I wanted to share a true story from my freshman year dorm at the University of Wisconsin Madison. Hey, I'm going to be there on Sunday with Logan Metz at Comedy on State. Come check it out. But it'll be good. I hope you come. Courtney, Courtney, whatever your name is, come tell me.

I woke up on my bunk bed suddenly in the early hours of Monday, January 23rd. My clock ran 3.33 a.m. I glanced at the mirror on our door and I saw a girl with long dark hair and a white nightgown sitting on my futon. I turned to my head and she was still there, just staring at her reflection. My heart started racing and I yanked the blanket over my face. but every few minutes I peaked out, barely able to breathe, and she never moved. She just sat there staring at herself in the mirror for nearly two hours until I finally fell back asleep. She never left. The next day, I kept it to myself because I didn't want to freak out my roommate.

But the following night, while my roommate and I were watching The Bachelor, I told her what I saw, and her face went pale. She said she thought she'd seen me making coffee in the dark of night, but I'd never gotten up. I remembered the girl was wearing white. My roommate said that she thought it was me in my white Arizona sweatshirt, but that sweatshirt was packed away. What really terrified us was this. I saw her at the futon. My roommate saw her at the coffee machine by the foot of her bed. In between the two of us, we were so shaken.

We didn't even sleep in our room for the day. next night. To this day, I have no logical explanation for this, and we've even debunk theories like someone could have snuck into our room since our door is automatically locked. A few years later, a friend brought the story up and told me that he'd seen something similar and even caught it on video. He was at a party, filming his friend, when in the background a doorway a girl with dark hair and a white nightgown walked past, and when I saw the video, I knew. I nearly started crying. It was exactly what I'd seen all those years ago.

Apparently, she's a common apparition. At the end there. Apportation. Apportation is different than apparition. But that is, I mean, you know, like, I know that you're like, you give and take ghost stories. Yeah. But I do think it's interesting.

I think it's interesting. You've seen the most ghosts of anybody I know. I think that sometimes people in college are drunk. and see things in the night. Interesting. And maybe she might have made coffee. Interesting. Did you smell coffee?

Well, coffee is when, you mean, who knows? It could also be part of, could just be a stagnant, recorded memory of a person that used to live there long time ago. Coffee is the color. So guys, so who says we don't get spooky? Mm-hmm. We get spooky. We're going to get more spooky. We got a couple more weeks.

Yeah. Spooky time. I saw Christmas lights up the other day. Maybe we want to burn the neighborhood down. Are you sure they weren't Halloween nights? No, they were Christmas nice. It was red and green, so that's why you're going to live every day knowing for a fact that we're not going to let them take Halloween from us. I don't care.

Also, could be blood and weed. We could be. We also need a laugh at the fact that we completely didn't realize that Lawrence Krause when we covered that bit last week of the guy confessing to killing his parents and taking their social security checks that he ran for president. And he ran for president, Lawrence Krause. We're going to laugh about this. Really? Like, yes. And you're going to live.

You're going to love the fact that he did a gigantic, really weird, anti-Semitic, like, run-down. He's like a full weirdo anti-vaccin. I know it doesn't seem like he would be. It seems like he was right on the level. He did you're great in jail, though. You're going to love him. You're going to love him. But just so, you know, he also, I found that out, that he also ran for president.

That's cool. And then he had a bunch of in the article that he wrote. Remember how he did that thing where he said, oh, you got to read the reasons why? It was like deeply antisemitic. That would be cool if there was like some kind of criteria to become president. You know, if you like have to have like a law degree or anything. Get out of here, you fucking piece of, you fucking weak bitch. So we got lots of stuff going on.

We interviewed, um, we talked to stuff. Lots of, we got, we did Black Phone 2 is coming out. Yes. Everyone checked it out. Loved it. It was really fun. We talked with Scott Derrickson, the director. Uh, they, we did a partnership with them.

So awesome. We got to do it. Honestly, we got to really kind of. surprising territory because he was not expecting us to get to like hellraiser and all of his previous stuff. So it's like, it's a really interesting interview and go check it out. And go and buy tickets for Eddie and I live at the Mateel Community Center in Humboldt County. October 24th. Go and check it out. We're doing a Halloween costume contest. Please show up in costume. We're going to bring some, some last podcast type prizes for you all. You know, I got, I'm giving away

my Aaron Hernandez book. I'm going to sign it. I'm going to make the boys sign it. My research book. I don't need it on my shelf anymore. It's going to be really fun. One of you will like it more than me, so it's going to you. And also, remember, we are no longer in Cleveland. We are now in Akron. Yes, that's going to be on November 29th at the Goadier Theater. Go switch over your tickets for that.

And if you're in Akron, congratulations. Come see last podcast on the left. Am I allowed to say the code on here? Does that mean anybody get tickets if I put the code? If I say the code. I think you should hold off on the code. Yeah, because the code is one word, but just know that hit us up, and someone will tell you if you don't know the code.

There's a code. word that they sent you in the email from the Cleveland venue that will transfer the ticket over to the Akron venue. Yes. But it's a word. I can't tell you the word. It's one word, though. Do you think it's Annabelle? No.

Robert. No. My favorite dolls. Hey, listen, we also got lots of shows this weekend. We're going to be at the Papsider in Milwaukee. Check that out. That's going to be on Saturday. And like I said, on Sunday, I'm going to be a comedy at State doing stand-up with Logan Metz. And then October 25th, we're going to be in Oakland. Come check.

us out that's going to be last podcast and a left proper and then i and then november 16th i'm doing stand up at might drop comedy in san diego and then at columbus ohio's side stories on november 30th oh yeah that's going to be at the newport music hall december 7th henry and i are going to be at wise guys town square in las Vegas that's december 7th we're going to be in fucking Vegas baby come check us out there and then of course in portland um on december 12th and 13th revolution Hall. Check that out, two nights. And then, of course, all the dates I listed earlier for 2026. Oh, yeah. And this weekend, I am doing my set on 88-5, the SoCal Sound. Come check me out. I am the artist in residence for this Saturday on 88-5, the SoCal Sound, 6 p.m. Pacifics, all the way

to 7 p.m. Eastern, check out my set. It's going to get funky. And I got one last thing I want to share with the people. This is a fun thing that Julie did, and I think everyone's going to appreciate it. You like your Instagram stories. You like playing poop, boop, boop on the stories. You have fun with that. I don't. You know what you do? You go hit that little icon.

You search Eddie Tunes. There's some Editunes gifts for you. I got gifts that you can add to your stories. He's got some gifts. How wonderful is that? It's pretty great. Yeah, I got gifts. I don't even understand it, but it exists.

I just love that it's another wonderful opportunity for our audience. You love it. It's free. They just love gifts. And you know what? Our audience is so simple. That's all they need. That's all I need.

The gifts are gifts. They aren't. You're free. You're free. All right. Hail Satan, everyone. Hail me. Yeah.

Hell me. Ed Larson. Fuck at it. Yeah. Eddie Toons. Check on my gifts. Fucking assholes. Give them a gift.

Give me a gift. Give me a gift.