Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Orphan

Episode Date: September 26, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a 22-year-old woman poses as a Ukrainian child, an Ed Buck update, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories Man, oh man back in America. Yes indeed, buddy. We're back at home The groats are paved with cheese. Well, I mean not really your your roads are paved with fire and our roads are paved with Potholes here in New York. Of course, you're in California. We beat the fires down We beat the fires are stronger than fire here Well, LA is just because you know why we're stronger than fire. Why we have been tempered with radiation Which I think is really really important as much we have so much Japanese radiation or food. Yep Fukushima It makes you talk about it. They don't like talking about it

No, also California's doing a full frontal assault on vaping is that I know man I've seen this vaping is under attack on a regular basis now No one likes it anymore, but I will say this vaping is very good if you use it to quit smoking If only if you only use it to create chunky clouds for your YouTube page. What do you think it's gonna happen? I don't know if I think chunky clouds maybe even be over. I think that I think S sports are done Is that what it was called? I don't know. I honestly don't know but I but in LA I will say I because I brought my vape with me over to Europe right for me to get my weed hits, right? Of course

I had garbage long whatever the fuck it is We had the entire time that we were trying a vacation while throwing up mucus out of every one of our holes Sure, every time I'd hit the vape. I felt worse Yeah, well, I don't think we were throwing up music mucus out of every one of our holes We're not pennywise the clown that sounds quite disgusting and something that even a shaman bear couldn't clean up But none why do they love wiping their ass so much because they're bears and they have dingle berries I mean, I do too, but just wait got a clip the hairs are on your asshole. We'll cover this honestly I know you live the same life as puffin. Hey, what's up everyone? This is side stories

I am Ben and I'm hanging out with Henry Zabrowski and Yes, we are and we are fresh off the European tour feeling revived rejuvenated We grouped entirely in no way are our brains still total mush I would say they're stronger than ever before stronger than ever You know what you know what's helped with that add and weed back in my fucking diet Yeah, you really missed it You went a good three weeks without weed and I have to say I mean other than your little weed vape hitter

Which I will I had a couple of hits off of and I know for a fact there wasn't that much weed in there But you had a lot of edibles you had a lot of edibles so you were okay Yeah, and you I will yeah I'm not addicted No, you're not addicted although Henry not not edibles Henry did keep his edibles very close to his gut He refused to give me multiple edibles on multiple times because that'd be like Henry Oh, you have edibles because I always forget that you had him because I do my drinking and then you'd be like yeah I have edibles. I'll give you some later, and then you know what you never gave me any

I had a squirrel him away, but I did give you a one a couple of times also cuz I kept leaving them in the room Mm-hmm. They'll smell you know also my problem is that I had a bunch of cologne on and accidentally sprayed it inside the bag So all the edibles actually tasted my cologne Halfway through oh Classiest Italian around you know what it's nice. It's nice to be back in America because it's been such a slow news week There's just so little going on nothing's going on. It's just a nice quiet Just being able to just being able to get back into America just slow roll it Yeah, the government isn't consuming itself

There's no massive or rip roaring scandals to talk about because it's because I want to say that it's time for the Seized apart for what I want to say is the single best news story that I have read in The many years how long have we been doing? We've actually been doing side stories about a year and a half Yeah, this is our baby podcast. We've been doing podcast entirely for about 11 years. This is still our newbie This is our little toddler learning to walk and learning to talk but this story that Henry is mentioning is a true horror film come to life and I think that this made this I We probably got this email to us about as much as we got emails about bear sausage and Bear sausage was the number one email for a long time. Although. I believe this story now may have

Just beat it out. I I'm so in love with this story now. This comes from the Staten Island rag New York post. Oh, you're going with the post. I got the daily. I got the Daily Mail version So we'll do I'll go from a car. I'll do across the ponds version. All right mom claims fake child She adopted bragged about plans to kill her Now this is a real story of a woman and a couple that adopted a child from Ukraine They told I believe that they were told was six years old and it turns out or according to the mother This was a secret 22 year old Ukrainian spy. Whoa, I'm gonna go as far as call her a spy

Wow that she faked being a six-year-old with dwarfism and she was just a 22 year old with dwarfism It's proportional It is proportional dwarfism now and the she was planning on murdering the entire family and Told them about it again and again to the point where they were so afraid of her that they rented an apartment for her to live In alone and then the whole family moved to Canada. Yes, indeed It's Christine Barnett and Michael Barnett. She is 45. He is 43. They are now divorced Which is just a you know, if you really want to know how difficult it was to raise this Ukrainian perhaps 22 year old person who has dwarfism they cost them their marriage

Christine Barnett she went on the news and she was like mother of the decade because she wrote a book Yes, you wrote a book. She's autistic children. Yes, if this is if you read this because I mean, it's just so it's so beautiful It's so beautiful. It doesn't happen like this all the time Christine Barnett wrote a book called the spark was I'm gonna say a Pad in the back so hard. I can't believe she could still stand up straight. Yes, indeed It was a book about how in a very inspirational book. Yes Searching for the spark inside of a child which Michael Jackson was trying to do He used to call playing the telescope game where he thought if you look deep enough in a kid's butthole

You could see the light of the other end. Oh my I think that's that that's inappropriate Henry It is inappropriate, but Christine Barnett Uh, she basically said this she she led her son. I forgot the son's name The whatever sons and I was diagnosed as autistic now is a physics phenom to went on to write his first college Dissertation at the age of 12 and so she became a very famous mom and she on date line in 2012 Where you can actually see footage of the whole family including their new? Ukrainian adoptee. Yeah, only known as Natalia and And because of this the mom, you know, she was praised everyone loved her in their defense

She does seem like a great mother. It seems as if they were trying to do something super good They were trying to help out this baby. They saw a picture of her They knew that she was in need of help and they said you can come into our home and we will take care of you forever They did not realize however that this baby was going to attempt to do things to them that are again Straight out of the horror film orphan evidently at one point Natalia attempted to push her mother Into an electric fence to which her mother was like you're a strong six-year-old, aren't you? Yep? I she would make statements and draw pictures saying she wanted to kill the family members Roll them up in a blanket put them in the backyard

She would they would be the members of the family would define her Hovering above the bed. Yes with the knife in her hands, right? This is this is one story They had to hide the knives From her they said the mother again. This is all coming from the mother. Yes completely I rewatched orphan last night. It's incredible. It is word-for-word The movie orphan yes, it is the mother saw her putting chemicals bleach Windex in her coffee and the mother asked what are you doing? And then the daughter says I am trying to poison you. Ah

daughter didn't have an accent Family had Ukrainian friends who try to speak to her in Ukrainian She could not understand and the the I guess the the real the beast the resistance of this whole story Was that how the mom first understood that Natalia was not six years old? So when she went to bathe her in the bathtub Oh, I discovered that she had a she had full on pubic hair. Yes she had periods and

She says she has adult teeth, which I don't know how you know without being a vet. I don't I Doctor yes, I mean yes, but I don't know how you know that so but now all right So all of this shit is happening and this is this happened so intensely So so this happened so intensely that they moved her into an apartment, right? And then everybody left the country, but now the husband is saying There's a lot now. This is there's a lot of disinformation. There's a lot of stuff going on here Because the husband saying she is indeed a girl my wife is lying The two of them are fighting mirrors to what one doctor test said that the kid had a bone density of

Someone over the age of 18 or like some some weird test that that's how they got her name Lee she got her age legally changed right to 22 years old Which is again after the fact before they even moved out they so they did all of this shit There's it is very very confused. Well, also what's going on here with Natalia the young girl She was in psychiatric wards her entire childhood or what we call her childhood So we do know for a fact that doctors have confirmed. She was suffering from severe psychological illness only diagnosed in adults So it seems like this young girl truly is a 22 year old suffering from dwarfism that moved into somebody's house Which you know what rent is very very high and if you if you can find a way to move in with a home

If you can find a way to move in with the family, you know what you kind of got to do it because rent prices aren't going down She found a way in and I give her a lot of credit for that if I am her I would say cool it on the trying to kill the family. You got a good thing going you're six years old They're feeding you non-stop. You're getting baths. I mean Henry. When was the last time someone bathed you? I mean this does not happen. This does not happen. I mean I ask for it Yeah, you got to ask for it all the time. You gotta pay for it. You know That's how it goes. Yeah, I'm not when you get my Woody Allen bath. Yes the Woody Allen treatment at the spa But the thing is that a few we did see me when I was I probably got pubic hair around the age of eight or nine

Right and I had full back hair at that point too. So unless you've viewed me as some form of Asian vampire what you're often viewed as entirely covered in hair. You could have maybe seen me at six years old I probably had a couple of pop-eye Curly's going on down there while you were watching me I don't you think so buddy. No six years old. No, you don't have any at six. That's the whole thing That's the whole point of puberty. You don't have any pubic hair until you hit puberty See the first time that they felt that something was weird with Natalia is that they took her when they first got her She said she was a lot of she was very very nervous and she had a hard time walking and if she was like but she didn't understand Because nothing in their paperwork said when they first got her saying that she'd have a hard time walking now

I want to first nephew the next couple days the copper they showered Natalia with attention that you're gonna Disney World And eventually they took her to her the beach for the very first time and said the boys They were all rushed into the water They're all over sons a rush of water and Natalia She wanted to be carried because she said she was having a hard time with her legs And so we were like no you just wait a few minutes and we'll get to you they turn around They could look back and she's full-on sprinting To the water just fucking playing and jumping playing volleyball

So they're like, okay, she hated toys. They found her smoking a cigarette Also the mother's story the mother also says she would jump out of moving cars She would smear blood on mirrors and she was doing things that you could never imagine a little child to do I for some reason I feel like between the pubic hairs and the smoking of cigarettes It's a 22 year old if not a 48 year old bar manager at the time She said I remember she Barnett said she ran a little homeschool and at some point these kids are come by and Natalia turned her being said these children are exhausting I don't know how you do it like she's

What's her name Elizabeth Taylor from the white diamonds comer? It's hard. It is very difficult So we have a story now that it is continuing to unfold and we will keep you up to date The parents have been arrested on neglect of a child charges. We'll see what continues to happen with this their defense is You know, we all thought Shug Knight was brilliant when he when he Pretended to be blind remember that when he went Because he ran over someone with this car this defense is the single greatest defense in all defense history if it is true This is I want to see this is one of those stories Henry or it's like you got to make a movie about it But it's already been made

So she went to one clinical therapist in January 2012 said Natalia claimed to them that she was 18 years old Then at LaRue Carter Hospital in Annapolis in June 2012 Staff said she had described as she had tried to kill family members and had no remorse about it going as far as to describe it as fun Most revealing of all it's perhaps a letter from the Barnett's primary care physician Andrew Clarend MD dated March 2012 from which he says Natalia's 2003 birth date was clearly inaccurate and that Natalia had made a career out of pretending to be a young child like most actresses do in Los Angeles This is you got to keep it going for a while You know, of course and to deep into your 30s. Of course it's so June to June 2012

They got her to change the fucking the age corrected, right? Yes, they got the judge Gerald S. Zor Accepted the couple's allegations. They said that they were true and at this point Barnett points out Natalia was considered an adult and so they just rented her apartment and left now with them. So now, okay, we're present day Parents are fighting because Michael's saying I don't believe it. I think that she was a fucking child all along just like an orphan Uh-huh. Natalia is nowhere to be seen There it is. All right. It is like the end of a Friday the 13th. It is completely They thought that she they had handled the problem. They were like, no, don't worry. She's contained now and now she's on the loose So as of September 11th, and this was in

2013 there was a doctor who did a skeletal Skeletal sort of like test on her and he said that she was 11 years old So the whole thing is really you know what I'm gonna say up for debate. It is up for Debate she said I've taken care of you here as an adult because she had all of the shit Natalia had food stamps She was like got social security all hooked up. So even if she alright, let's play devil's advocate here Okay, and say by 2013 because this is all four years later. I don't really know why the charges are coming out now I don't know why it took so long, but So even if she was still a baby, right? It's child and all of this is wrong a

Landlord still put her in an apartment and she still filled out paper work To go and be like to get this food stamps to get the social security So it's all working out. This is like Richie Rich. Yeah, he's living like home alone, but it's more like home left alone that's absolutely and Records are not publicly available yet But Daily Mail TV has established that a judge ordered a fresh hearing to establish Natalia's age With Michael Barnett and a number of experts giving evidence. This is according to the attorney He said Natalia was living on her own and a couple wanted to become her guardian

Thinking when she was still a child the couple tried to overturn the 2012 results She's flipping them this time the hearing was even more in depth Not only did the judge look at medical reports and other documents But witnesses came before the court to explain why they were certain that Natalia had been 22 so I said her favorite show was state line, of course Why wouldn't it be so this story is? Absolutely Completely insane and maybe this is the tale of a mother who saw someone that she figured she could maybe flip and

Make into okay, this is it so okay possible Is it possible that Christine Barnett who is very possible a victim in this story as well? But is it possible she saw Natalia and was like I'm already mother of the year because I took care of my autistic child and now He's like he is like gold. He's a golden boy. He's crushing it, right? Yeah, look at this dude. Everything he did. That's my fucking top tier my fur fucking top. We that's it Not the first draft card Dean. He's right there Christine meets this girl She she sees that she is 22. She knows she's 22, but she's like if we could flip this Tell me that you're six and you could do extraordinary things in my care next thing

You know, I'm another I'm a mother of another child because I know you're 22 who can do things. That's amazing Even though she this is flip-and-reverse on double only thing is so this is double double So I appreciate your creativity. I'm I follow you and I and I I can see it I could see it. Yeah My main pushback would be is that it'd be different if she was physically capable because what I would do is with a 22-year-old masquerading six-year-old, you know where I'd put her directly into petition for the Olympics where you go you get her trained now well, she's young well

She's stronger bigger than the other fucking six-year-olds get her forget making gains early. She'd be able to dominate in the paint As soon as she arrived, that's how you flip. There's not six-year-olds in the Olympics I don't know. Well, that's the problem. I mean how did kids learn how to luge? Think you just have to throw him down a slide a bunch But if you got this six-year-old to just go on like I'm like what are all those kids shows where it's a kid say the Darnedest things and then she like cooks a full like, you know pierogi dinner She's a queen all of a sudden this six-year-old if a six-year-old does what a 22-year-old normal person can do what in their ass smoking

We smoke and resin hits watching the Cosby show like I did when I was 22 Well, you remember that kid you remember that one kid that that meme of the kid who was like eight years old who would smoke Like chain smoke. That's all that your father does and he's not on a meme So you think about that when a kid can do something that an adult can do even a basic adult. That's a super kid I wonder if it's the double-double flip or She did look at the six-year-old Ukrainian orphan with dwarfism and she's like I'm gonna make this kid into something else and she didn't know that it was 22 She didn't think that she was older, but she looked at her and maybe she thought that she was a werewolf

Because of the pubic air or something. I don't know kind of weird because think about I My yes, my daughter is a werewolf. Mm-hmm, but she's still my daughter like that. What a good pivot that would be Yeah, we're like six years old I look how fucking incredible I am that I'm going to raise another child that is special needs Now I'm gonna be like so I feel like it does fit into her character But then she bit off a little bit more than she could chew when scammer met scammer, right two of them got to fight each other But I wonder if Natalia did the same thing like it happens in orphan Do you remember the whole sequence in orphan when she puts the makeup on?

Of course tries to touch the fucking dad's cock. Yeah, she like sets all this up like I don't know if she pulled that I think she did a little bit more of the gypsy rose Where she acted like a little girl, but it was just a little too much too late Well, no matter what it is Christine and Michael have broken up and isn't that the ultimate tragedy No one has died here I know you know what you know what died was love and isn't that the saddest part of the story It's really hard to raise kids Especially if your kids turn out to be three or four kids inside of a trench coat pretending to be an adult

Yeah, but I honestly I think that we came up with the perfect thing She saw this six-year-old Maybe she knew she was 23 and she's like I can flip this reverse this make this child into another example of what a great mother I am the child said this mother is hungry to have a golden child I'm gonna go in there be that child for a little while and perhaps kill the entire family Wow Good on Natalia. I hope she shows up. I Want her to show up this is the immigrant story. You don't hear about

These are the stories the people that come to this country and want to make a better life for themselves And so what they do? Yeah. Yeah, maybe they bend the rules Alright, wow part of it is that you got to bend the rules a little bit not to see what you can get away with But to see what our country can allow you to do with our freedoms Okay, here's a question shoot to the shoot for the stars in America So if you look at the picture of Natalia, yes, she looks very young obviously she could pass as six She has the brain of a 22 year old What else is she supposed to do?

Right because we're way up in politics She's not she can't do who's voting for Natalia think about behind the scenes. Maybe she can be gross She's a sociopath. You know me. I don't like being gross, right? But if she made her way through some of the Republican Senate as a six-year-old that could flash an ID I don't even think I don't think we need party affiliation on this one honestly, but yeah I know we don't know we don't but she could flash an ID saying me legals Think about the kind of secrets that she could get so you want her to be you want her to be a child version of bait car When they see who's gonna who's gonna steal the car?

I actually think the Cia needs the CIA needs this chick. Dude. That's a great idea You can go you can be like me suck your dick, sir, and he's like no you're a child Obviously, no, certainly not and then she goes Way older than you think smeezes and he's just like oh Yeah, my ship is coming. I don't know I don't know why she sounds like Schmeegle, but I do like it There is something to it She could have been a really important asset for the CIA. She could still be because you figure this okay, that's it

That's a great idea. We can put her in every single home of Anyone that we want to destroy and she can kill them from the inside the Saudi Prince get her over there They need to a boom boom she kills the entire royal family that caused 9-eleven boom we can get her over to the Kremlin Oh, we're just taking care of humanitarian boom next thing you know Putin's throat is cut this could really work I think this is the greatest idea that we have ever come up with on this show. I I want Natalia to come on to our show Natalia you're listening to this and You're and if you are 22

You know about us get on tic-tac and message us I don't know what you're gonna do, but Natalia reach out because we got a lot of ideas and kissle And I think that we can be your manager We can make her the ultimate spy move over Jason Bourne move over John Wick We have a new killer in town. We could bust all of the pedophiles in one go I would love that and then she just like whips it out. She just like whips out I'm 22 years old you perverts Yeah, dude, that'd be fucking killer

Or she'd be the or she ends up falling in love with the fucking human trafficking game It becomes the ultimate most evil madam of children that's ever existed. Oh my god the Pied Piper Yeah, well, hopefully she hopefully she uses her powers for good and she certainly has some Obviously because I don't know she has a she has a gift that none of us were given because everyone knows We're adults. Well, my big thing is Is that unfortunately though it seems like she's very um? Dangerous Yeah, if this is indeed real because then it also it could all be wrong like it could all she could literally be a kid

Like all of this could be some weird fucked up Just this woman is gone completely insane and guess what that story is great, too. It's all good We have a where's we have a win-win Yeah, but also the story of a six-year-old. They got her own apartment. Well, I mean honestly That's why I think that's why I think she's 22 because if she was six you just don't disappear like you can't You're six like everyone's like, you know, I'm not gonna rent you a car No, you don't get a subway ticket you're six like how do you get a me? How does a six-year-old get a sandwich? Well, someone can pick you up and just put you in the car

But how do you do? How do you live as an adult as a six-year-old pretending to be an adult in an apartment alone? She lasted for a couple of months. Yeah, it's not Richie rich and her mother said that she would jump out of moving cars I don't you can't kidnap the unkidnappable She's she's just at some other house right now and they're reading this story and this is like orphan part two when orphan lives And now someone is reading this story and they're looking them be like Melanie Melanie looks a lot like Natalia. This is oh Mommy, I want to go to the beach again today. Mommy And immediately you're like, okay. Well, whatever you want, Michelle. Yeah, and then what if Melania?

Trump turns out to be 95 years old. That's possible or the opposite. She turns out. She's nine That could work as well. Um, all right for it. This is fun. So check out the news. We will follow that story This is my favorite story. It is absolutely ridiculous. It's totally ridiculous It's like this is almost as if aliens have landed on earth like that's how crazy this is where it's like it's out of sci-fi It's out of horror. It's just the fact that it's real It's just I am really I am one day Maybe the bar phone like even though I am enjoying the real ridiculousness of everything There is gets you a point where maybe the bar will come back to normal at some point

I don't know if it can I think the cat's kind of out of the bag I don't know we'll ever get back to normal but the idea of like the fact that UFO disclosure happened last week and Nobody is still talking about like that is still a A minor Store this little dumb fuck little story is just mind-boggling Yes, it is well speaking of a story that we talked talked about before that should have been larger is still too small As far as we're concerned, but at the very least law enforcement has gotten involved Ed Buck Ed

Buck, of course, you'll recall this California multi-multi-millionaire. He gave to political party gave to the Democratic Party He was very protected. He had two African-American people die in his home He basically would drug them and they would OD he had a third one and he attempted to the exact same thing and Fortunately this third victim was able to escape go to the authorities and now it seems as if Ed Buck will finally Face a little bit of justice for what he has done. It only took like five dead people. Oh Wow, that's it. Wow, that's it. We're getting close. We're getting close to actual justice in this country We're it only took five people to die to shield person of people of true money Because it's like with Epstein it just took him to die and then the whole investigation went away

And then Kevin Spacey also had an accuser just kind of die That's it because I've heard Kevin Spacey's accuser either fell down an elevator shaft or I believe an anvil Fell on him really is that yeah, and maybe you ran into a brick wall that someone had painted into look like a tunnel Sort of Wiley Coyote at there. That is it. So the so Ed Buck he's on trial now We'll see what happens with that. We'll follow up on that story Our show was the only one to my knowledge that really even talked about it And then we also have the strange unsolved death of the Kevin Spacey accuser who is no longer with us If this was political, of course, this was this would wreak of March Mark

Rich and all the other you know conspiracy theory-minded people away who talk about No, buddy people who are connected politically who end up dying or suicide and whatever Even though it's not like Hollywood is a direct mouthpiece of the government and they're actually Conversely serving the government in many ways by creating a fake opposition Even though the money is coming from bank accounts on either side that are all connected to one big slush fund It's almost like it's almost like there's a cabal of many many rich people and in giant corporations That are that have no political identity whatsoever except they're probably secretly building Starships that they will leave our dying planet with I've seen the next 20 years

I've seen some of these pictures from Mars. They can have it Seriously, I was like every time I see one of these planets. I'm like, I don't know like where's where's the Applebee's? Where's the bucks? I need that star bucks. They're gonna put it in there. Well, as soon as they do then let me know But Ed Buck he is facing up to 20 years to life in prison. John Doe is the man. Obviously. That's not his real name That's what we call people who do want to be anonymous He's a 37 year old originally from my home state of Wisconsin. You don't mess with the badger state, Mr. Buck and He was able to flee and he was the one about that's what it's about He was the one who was able to finally bring this man

To justice so we will follow he's not in jail yet. Not yet. Not yet But we will see at least there's a surviving Victim who is going to be able to shed some light on the horrors that were the house of Ed Buck He just loved Introducing people to crystal meth That was his thing You know what I wonder if he did the thing with crystal meth of like You know when you try to show YouTube video to a friend and you're showing them the video and you're like you like it

This is funny, right? But they were watching them. They don't really but you're just watching them I wonder if it's like that where he's gigging them up with crystal meth and he's like, yeah, it's cool, right? You like it You want to suck my dick? Yeah, it's cool. I like that. It's kind of like that. I think he was a sociopath. I gotta say and yeah So were people that stare at you waiting for your reaction to this YouTube video that they hold to be so precious to them This is why I don't show anyone anything that I like That's why markets and you and I bonded because we we can watch things together I watch good I watch good wholesome videos and then some things on love like because I want to know what

Humanity looks like at its worst. I watch a lot of recently I've been finding myself watching a lot of cringe videos But it's it does get to be a little difficult like people being embarrassed people saying embarrassing things Yeah, that makes me feel I guess that's the whole point of the current it is Sort of the bad just like I don't really like everyone. I don't do it all the time. Yeah, sometimes it's fun Do you want to talk about this at all Henry this is kind of in your neck of the woods It's it's newer news to me, but maybe you knew about it So Jared Leto of my so-called life. He has a cult what the hell's going on with all this Is this real you have the article because when it comes to him, I have a little bit of

Because Natalie knew him from back in the day Okay, Natalie has a couple of stories about him that show that he's just I mean he's a pain in the ass, right? So he is a little bit. He does really Appreciate his own work Quite a bit And he loves his band. He's like one of those guys where he's like kind of like belly Bob Thornton where he's like I'm a musician first We're like, oh, yeah, what's the name of your band? What instrument do you buy 30 second to Mars is 30 seconds to Mars

Is a fairly famous band but on their website They have their camp Mars stuff and they have t-shirts that like they say yes This is a cult and you have all these pictures of him with long hair and evidently he offered for $2,000 you can go to an island and hang out with him and the band and you can get us You can get like a private room and I guess they have sex with you I don't know what they do. Is this the making of like a future? Keith Reneer see I have a couple of people like people will send me like evidence of new cults popping up And I think they're interesting because now

Much like what happened with serial killers of the last couple of years where it seems like, you know True crimes moving to what's moved to quote-unquote mainstream attention, blah blah blah same thing with interest in cults Is that for me? I look at that and I was like he had a talk with his team about branding all of this And I'm not talking about Reneer actual branding. I'm talking about commercial branding Okay, he looked at this stuff and he has incorporated the word cult Into him selling his own fucking brands and he's trying to be tongue-and-cheek about it And there are people that also and I've seen a lot of people there was this one and internet call I can't forget the fuck I can't remember the chick's name, but she's doing this sort of like

It's like a sexy cult that where she does a lot of weird porno videos, but she has church every Sunday She's LA based and but she again Openly says this is a cult like that's her whole thing. Is that being ultimate now the new thing within cults is to be Ultra-transparent about the relationship of you to the cult leader quote-unquote But isn't that how it begins it always starts as kind of a lark as I mean even when it comes to like LRH and even when it comes to we're talking about now obviously Joseph Smith He was just a sci-fi dude LRH also a sci-fi dude It's like they don't they don't acknowledge that they are that it is cold

They don't they don't acknowledge that they are cults They they say that they are spiritual groups or Joseph Smith's was truly was very sincere about his He was very sincere about his religion and his prophecies. I believe that he was specifically creating a group of people to support himself and then he began to believe in his own horseshit, right? And and but it's they never break character in front of their people and say this is a cult right now a days in The fucking post post post post modern era right now It's almost like you see we're coming out and telling everybody we're a cult so it's like well You know you're good yourself involved in it's like super cute in a way that is it's not cute

But it seems to me and obviously I don't know how anyone on earth would follow Jared Leto Yes, I loved my so-called life, but let's be honest all the good work He did in that television series in MTV on MTV for two years was erased with his Joker performance His Joker was the worst Joker in the history of all Jokers It was a waste it was a total waste but at some point all of these people who are truly following him as soon as you start Inviting people to an island. What's what's the the classic saying never go to a second location as soon as you start inviting people To an island this guy is in way over his head because I agree with you if it is marketing He's playing with fire that he has no idea how hot that flame is

I think that's a lot of what people are dealing with nowadays They don't really understand what they're saying when you call themselves when they call themselves a cult, right? I don't think they understand what they are What they're Supporting when they say that like it's some kind of like this is the don't think you understand how abusive the relationship of Cult leader to cult follower is right, but you know I think it was a great opportunity to say last podcast left It's trying to put together a cruise We really want you guys to come with us on a boat for several days

It's been a lot of money, but I but yeah, it's weird right because they're a lot We've now seen several of our even our friends that have these sort of they have these go away Like vacation packages. They have all this kind of shit where they talk with their fans We're gonna be talking like a but we're gonna be talking about serial killers and true crime and telling jokes and like it Nope, we're gonna be doing drunk kissle Oh, yeah, I are gonna be hosting a trivia night where we're just gonna sit in a cordoned off area with microphone and drink on Sools until we fall asleep. I can't wait, but yes, but these people it seems like Jared Leto is really leaning into this thing And why is it why do you have to because I know he's an actor so he just shadows

He's not like a real human being but why did you do the long hair with the beard? What's like do you have to look like that? It's just so cliche. He just thinks he looks sexy. I think I think that he Is it good look on him technically? He's a very handsome man, of course I'm not gonna take that away. No, we can't very attractive and he's got the good hair for you looks like Jonathan Van Ness But that would rugged I guess and so he's got that I think Jonathan Van Ness is very attractive I think I very good look at a good look. I think that I do appreciate it if I Look like that. I'd look like Philip Seymour Hoffman from boogie nights, which is also a great look But you know look at the gerrymery render app these actors

They are just they're dangerous They're dangerous because they are little micro. They're these economies So you have all of these people that are like yes, Jared. Yes. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, what do we got to do? Oh, definitely slippers for everybody. We got to get these new Jared Leto Therapeutic slippers out where they the best be or so they are the perfect shoes that molester feet Jared are you sure we want to go for this angle with the new Jared Leto? Fucking slippers. Well, the kind of slippers that make sure you don't think you're alone when you go to sleep at night He is calling himself a prophet now, so just don't follow him

Do not follow any of these people. They are it is all a sham. It's all a Falsehood and it is maybe I wonder if it is because of social media where people can fully monetize The exact number of followers that they have yes, you can be like be back in the day. You're like, I'm a celebrity What does that even mean and now you're like I have 15 million on Instagram 25 million on Twitter So I can apparently according to so I forgot what the site was but apparently they they say now if you have over 30,000 followers you are in a celebrity on any social Oh, I didn't even know I guess we're celebrities all of a sudden Man am I one I guess I by that metric the answer is no we are not but the by that metric yes

We are I does it is strange to be because that's what we try to explain to people like because it is embarrassing Not embarrassing, but it's like when you go to like when we go to a city where we have a live show There's more often people recognize us because also you and I fit very specific Silhouettes yeah, right especially when we're standing next to each other I mean people recognize us all the time so people are like, oh, you're famous But guess what man ain't nobody fucking knows me out of here. No, I mean I probably get maybe like four I would say three to five times a day. So we'd be like hail yourself walking down the streets Yeah, it's nice. You're New York though and in New York the thing is if you're truly famous

You can't walk down the streets like like if you're truly there are so few truly famous people Out there that exists like we have our we love you and we love our audience And it's nice to be known with all of you, but true fame I don't even know if Jared Leno has true fame I still think he could go to a restaurant in Stevens Point, Wisconsin and no one would know who the hell he is Well, he's a real celebrity because he'd tell you who he is like the bass player from Journey that you met at the bar and it is a bliss. Yes play my song Um, all right, should we do should we do hero of the week buddy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Here we go

Let's do hero of the week And This week's hero of the week now Henry and I have a different hero So I want to do this chick who bit off the testicles of this camel. I think you we have to let's do this one And then Henry also loves this story about the man who brought the clown to his meeting when they were gonna fire his ass So I'll do the woman bites off the camels testicles and Henry could do the one about the dude who brought the cloud So a Louisiana truck stop turned into a real zoo This is obviously a New York post story a chick chomped out on a camel's testicles

We'll trying to retrieve her dog that had scrambled in to the camels den The showdown between the woman who wasn't identified and Casper the camel a roadside attraction Happened on Thursday. The woman's husband was tossing treats to the dog under Casper's fence Prompting the pup to crawl inside the enclosure at that point the camel became aggressive towards the dog She said and then she went in to grab the dog and the camel sat on her and she said I bit his balls to get him off of me I bit his testicles to get him off of me in Investigation revealed that the couple had provoked Casper before he sat on the intruder and And Hamilton said this is the owner of the Casper the camel said the camel did nothing wrong

But now I so maybe she's not here of the week. I think that oh my god. I only I mean honestly Hold this closure. I only whether this woman bit off the camels nuts after the camel senator But if if they're angry in the camel I feel like there's there's a lot of there's a lot of gray here There is a lot of gray here, but it's really just about like, you know, I love my dog So I would if you know, I would protect Wendy at any cost I will down to it. I guess I would feast upon a camel's nuts According to the truck stop manager Pamela bossy. Hey, she said she has a question

She says my question is to the husband Why did you throw the doggy treat under the fence and him and then he said he just said he wasn't thinking and It turns out you want to say the Europe? Oh, man. I think he did bad I think he did bad with your choice. I think that I did because I don't think she is a hero I think they taunted this camel they threw the treats under the camel then she went in to get the dog camel Senator and she bit off the nuts of this camel who's just trying to be a roadside attraction So I'm gonna say the hero of the week is the camel Wow Okay, wow look at that. I tell you what I wouldn't want to be intimate with this woman

Because that is an aggressive move It is I mean my father told me my father taught me very early on that there's no such thing as a fair fight I He taught me very early on you got a pull nuts. You got a poke eyes You got a bite. You got to do what you can new to win. You got to get that W. So oh my goodness Well, I hope the camel is doing okay. It's a road. Well, you're disgusting and I wish a kiss. Oh, you got to vet these stories I mean, I read one I prop this woman. I read a half of it. I propped her up. I thought that she was a hero She's not a hero. She taunted the camel and now the camel has no balls. Oh

God, you did this you got us here. So here's my hero of the week This goes Josh Thompson a New Zealander. This comes from the Guardian New Zealander takes clown to redundancy meeting for us Americans. That means you're getting fired Yeah, Josh Thompson hired a clown who reportedly mimed crying as the paperwork was handed over as his emotional support aid If you think emotional support animals have got out of control prepare yourself for news of an emotional support clown an Auckland Adversizing Copyrighter brought a clown to his redundancy brought a clown to his redundancy meeting New Zealand legally requires employers to allow workers the option of bringing a support person to serious Disciplinary meetings usually relating to an employee's prospective dismissal. So this is brilliant. This is brilliant

So Josh Thompson who had reportedly been with the company for five months He got this ominous email and it read bad news. We're having a meeting to discuss your role Oh, right. Yeah, it's really rough. And so Josh Thompson who is a comedian He decided that because this is you got to do this. You got a fucking full scorched earth. Absolutely I thought it's best to bring in a professional and so I paid $200 and I hired a clown the clown He Thompson refers to as Joe crafted balloon animals throughout the meeting including a poodle his antics were very squeaky His bosses told the fuck told the clown to shut up a couple of times and then it is according to the Herald It is further understood that the clown mimed crying when the redundancy paper work

There is a picture of the meeting where someone if you look at this fucking big yes, it's a great picture Really good where they this must have gotten such a fucking crowd around the office When they are just taking pictures of this happening in the in the sealed room Oh good for them. I mean he got fired. Yes, he did well He's a comedian and should be in a in an office anyway, and just lastly We'll do three heroes a walrus defending her cub sank a Russian Navy boat in the Arctic Ocean So there that's also a hero They were messing around technically was a science boat and they were probably trying to do something fairly good

But nonetheless, all right, that's heroes heroes of the week this week And I know we got through we got through it Henry you got some listener letters. You want to read? Yes I got some listeners stories, and I want to share them. This one comes from B When I was 15, I had an alien encounter It was a day like any other typical chubby long-haired middle of the spectrum high school me neither nerd nor jock Came home from school and did some homework Shortly after I hopped on City of Heroes. Do you remember that? I do I do. I love that fucking game Yeah, I got my MMO on with my internet buddies

I ran submissions and whatnot and realized it was getting late. We parted ways and I logged off completely normal day Hmm. I laid down on my bed thinking a French class the next morning and they Q 13 14 s that class I don't know what that is and dripped it off to sleep Flash forward I woke up mentally My eyes were closed I could tell through my eyelids that it was abnormally bright in my room like when a full moon is out After a few seconds, I realized I was coated in cold sweat I was lying on my back with my blankets up to my chin

My brain was screaming at me to keep my eyes shut I was if my subconscious knew what was going on and didn't want my conscious mind to experience it I had a feeling of terror unlike any terror you could imagine like I was about to die of suffocation My eyes sprung open and fixated on my bedroom door and the dim light. I could see fingers pulling my door shut Imagine if your fingers were twice as long and had an extra knuckle The flesh of the fingers were the color of sand and looks like they could have the feel like a low grit sandpaper Those two seconds I watched those fingers as they closed my door with a soft click The light began to dim in my room and I blacked out

And this could possibly be a dream. I don't know. I woke up the next morning in the same position I blacked out in I pulled the blanket sound and went to stand up only I couldn't my legs wouldn't move I called for my mom and as I yelled out the visions of last night crept back into my mind those sand colored fingers My mom burst into the room asked what was wrong. I couldn't walk She helped me up, but I still couldn't move my legs I collapsed back into my bed sobbing at being paralyzed She carried me to her suv and took me to the hospital They did tests and x-rays and the like on me apparently during the night

Part of my spine had herniated through a small crescent moon shaped cut out in the disc of my back Yes, there was a small crescent shape shape Piece of bone missing from a disc in my lower back At least now there is their herniation came along with muscle spasms so tight that it caused my entire lower body to stop Working. I got a bunch of epidural shots to relieve the spasms and pressure after an hour or two I could walk again life continued on as usual. This was 15 years ago And every now and then I still have muscle spasms and need shot for it and need shots for it as of yet I haven't woken up to any more visitors. Oh very cool. It seems like sleep paralysis

A very intense version of it. Okay. Now. This is the last week thing last week We had someone that is the picture of the pteratoma that looked like a delicious sausage Yes This comes from L Pteratoma formation explained from a cell biologist This is in regards to the side stories a week or so ago where a listener emailed saying that she had a Pteratoma removed containing mucous brain hair and teeth and was mystified asking Oh, is this epic? Is this a thought?

Well, is that your impression of me? Yes, do you want to go back? Do you want to Do you want to do that? That's your impression of me? I know I'll redo it. Okay Okay How does this happen? Is it alive? Well, I'm a cell biologist. So maybe I can explain a bit First off a pteratoma is a tumor and tumors are cancers that haven't spread yet in a nutshell

That's me in a nutshell. I'm in a nutshell. Okay. Really? Wow. You you are nailing this one. I feel really good What cancer does is it causes a cell to grow uncontrollably and resist being killed by the body? In almost every case this just causes the cell to grow more copies of itself So if you have cancer in a lung cell, you just get a tumor filled with lung cells Pteratoma is what happens when a germ cell an egg or a sperm cell gets cancerous Germ cells are different than every other cell in fact that in the in that that they have the Recipe to make every kind of cell. So instead of getting a tumor fill of one kind of cell You actually can get brain and hair and teeth and all that good stuff

Now the question is it alive is a bit more deep to answer. Yes, technically. Yes It is alive, but only as much as a tumor is alive If bent met if bent meant is it conscious then probably not but we'll never know Oh, I love it. I think that it is. I think that it is a 22 year old with dwarfism There it is everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. We do have a few things to get to here Let's see. Do we want do we want to request people to write in for our listener pasta episode that we're going to be doing in October It's halloween season. It's starting to come down the pipe We're going to be doing listener pasta on side stories

Please start sending some of your original stories and we're looking for real stories Yes, I mean honestly, or if you have created a great yarn that's relatively short send that as well side stories Lpotl at gmail.com. We're very excited. Also. We have some new live shows to Spread the word about we cannot wait. We are super excited. We have Tampa, Florida, Miami, Florida Orlando, Florida. That's going to be october 18th october 19th and october 20th. Yes, you got to come out This is going to be so much fun and please come out so that we can go to florida more Especially during the cold months here in new york because florida is always beautiful It's always beautiful full of beautiful people come show my parents that I I have a career

Is your mother going to go to the show? I yeah, maybe yeah. Oh my so come just for that. That'll certainly be in the Tampa show That's 10 18 10 19 10 20 and then the following month. We're in november November 21st in portland the 22nd in north hampton, massachusetts and the 23rd in buffalo new york And then we are already into december December 5th, toronto december 6th, detroit Which thank you for waiting so long detroit and we have said to to pay it to pay it forward We're going to go when it's freezing cold so we can go And we can suffer with you and we can all be together in the winter time

And then also december 7th. We have columbus ohio So come out to those live shows is that are those the final live shows for the year henry or do we have anything else booked up? I think that's it. You know what? We really haven't covered at all So we're a part of the adult swim festival. Yes, we're doing our live Last stream on the left at the adult swim festival. I have no clue what it means And we're going to be doing it that'll be coming up. What's the date for that henry our show will be on november 15th We're going to be following some great people that you'll you'll I don't know what they're going to be doing They're all going to be doing apeshit shit and stuff. I don't know you got our

We got eric andre is going to be doing stuff. There's a couple of hip-hop hip-hop people They're doing their stuff We're really going to fit in and the kids are going to love it. They're going to love it november November 15th adult swim festival last stream on the left come and check it out. That's just going to be That's that is it's just going to be ridiculous stupid and fun to hang out So that's all that will be but it'll be a great time also This is a personal plug. I got to be part of something that I was very excited about

I got to be part of it here. He's serious for real You have a documentary called extraordinary the seeding It's about the hybrid programs that various aliens have run and people that have been a part of it It's it is very compelling and it has got a lot of people that have it is all testimony from people who believe that they have been Used as a part of an extraterrestrial breeding program and this shit's pretty fucking harrowing sweet, but it go to extraordinary the seeding Dot com and check it out

All right, check that out extraordinary the seeding dot com That's on super kick ass and that's out now people do they have to buy it or is it just free out there? I think you can rent it and then also we got one more thing to announce side stories november 8th It'll just be henry and i travis morningstar is going to be with us as well We might force him on to the stage despite his uh desire not to be on stage Yeah, that's gonna be a lot of he's gonna love it. Yes, and we really have no idea what we're gonna do But it'll just be us hanging out and it'll be a wonderful good time. Perhaps I Am certain that whatever we'd say

Oh, man, it's gonna be planned Oh, wow, we're gonna do so much stuff on this show You're not even your head's gonna flip how organized and how planned and well put together The show's gonna be well it will be a wonderful time and of course that's going to be in washington dc Which was is one of our favorite places uh to visit so make sure you come and hang out with us We can't wait to see y'all and that's going to be more chill too So perhaps afterwards we'll go to a bar have a couple of beers We'll do something we'll do something and our good friend jen tizdale

I think she's gonna be opening first or doing something she's gonna go out there and yell at you guys You've seen her if you've seen us do a show in washington, you'd see you've seen jen tizdale She's a brilliant comedian and she has been putting together the death becomes us festival For for years now three years. I think yeah She really knows what she's doing and she is that the forefront of like a true crime comedy She knows what the hell's she's doing. Yes, she does. All right, you fuckers. Okay. Do you got to do well? You know live every day like you've been so sick You've been so sick for weeks that jet lag feels good

Like jet like that you actually it is a relief and you actually feel really good. Yeah when you're super super chicken like love Love the fact look at my new look air 270 reacts. Let me see those Oh, yeah, they're very green Yeah, love love your life when you got a pair of new squeaky ass fucking high ass sneaks on sure got my new kicks I'm flaunting down the street a lot of people giving me finger guns getting a lot of support Is that a lot of high fives? Really? Yeah, and then laugh Laugh like you are a seagull with a clam stuck in your pussy

I don't know why you would laugh then but all right everyone. Thank you all so much for listening You can't wait to see you on the road and don't forget Mormonism part five will be out on friday. Hail yourselves Hail Satan. Magus dilations. It's coming out on friday Is that it? You see it. It's getting up On friday. You're a brilliant character actor. I really I'm really getting better at doing podcasts This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com