Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Oumuamua

Episode Date: November 8, 2018

Live from Henry's hotel room! It's Side Stories! This week: THE OUMUAMUA METEOR AND MORE!

Hey, side stories listeners. This is Henry Zabrowski. You may recognize me. I'm the host of this podcast along with the other fucking monster, Ben Kissel. And I'm here to tell you about Trollville, a new series brought to you and created by me, Natalie Jean, and Seneca's Navi. This show is about what happens when you take an internet troll and you watch his online behavior slip into his real life and see how does that change him. Is he ready to join society? We've made this project with a lot of love on our own dime. We're really hoping you guys will enjoy it. It's $1.99 per episode and $5 for the entire series. It's over 50 minutes of my body jiggling back and forth. We're really, really proud of it and we hope you guys can check it out. It's on Vimeo. The URL is Vimeo.com slash on-demand slash Trollville. Again, that's Vimeo.com slash on-demand slash Trollville, which is Troll as in pieces of Troll and Ville, V-I-L-L-E. Please check it out. I think it's a fucking masterpiece for my sweet slippery fingers. Hail Satan. And now, time for side stories. There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. Right above your glade. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that?

How does it feel to be in my hotel room? It feels different because you are laying on your bed staring at me in very short shorts and I'm going to say slightly uncomfortable. This is how I've always wanted to do the podcast. This is it. This is so much better. We're on the road. We're doing this from Dallas, Tejas. I'm sitting here on my sweat-filled workout here on top of my bed that is filled with my skin flex and I'm certain a couple of stray sperms. Oh, I'm sure of that. All right, everyone. This is Side Stories. Thank you so much for tuning in. We are live from Dallas, Texas, recording from Henry's hotel room. And I got to say, it looks like you've been lonely. Hey, man. So that's good. You're never lonely when you've got your hands and you have your penis. Actually, it's the opposite. You're incredibly lonely. But you know what I did last night? It was really nice. So we went out on the town. Okay, sure. We were over in the, it seemed to be, I think it's Deep Ellum? Deep Ellum. It was beautiful, man. A lot of actual country bars. People were super sweet. Great music.

Great music. People seemed to immediately peg that we were out of town. We were from out of town. Yeah. I think it's got something to do with my sashaying ways and my hip urbane manner. Yeah. And you screaming at the government or about the government. Well, you were the one who put beer in me and then you were the one who wanted to watch your precious fucking, whatever, the shadow play. It was an election. It was an election. Shadow play. Shadows upon shadows. And who are the ones making the shadows? Who are the ones controlling the puppets? Okay. So now you know why they were looking at us like we were a little bit out of towners because they were all wearing their Beto shirts and they were happy. Well, not that happy towards the end. But then you were just like, what's going on? What's happening? And then we had to go outside the bar and drink there. We did go outside of the bar because, you know, whatever, it was a lot of extenuating circumstances. But I will also say that I attempted to join into your parade, into whatever the systems of chicanery. It's an election. Exactly. The farce.

Well, anyway, it was a wonderful time in Dallas and we're really excited for our show tonight. We also had an awesome time in Washington, D.C. And speaking of politics, which we won't really do too much in depth on this show, but Henry was able to flip off a motorcade. I'm not sure if Trump was in that motorcade. I'll tell you what, whoever it was, I made the guy, the Secret Surface guy that was in the driver's side seat, made eye contact with me as I was going, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. And it was great. It's just good to exercise my rights as an American. Absolutely. But Dallas, I mean, we went out there, we drank quite a bit. And then when I came back to the hotel room, I had a really nice time where I sat because it was fucking awesome. It's an LIX. Now you can just bring weed wherever you want. Oh, I didn't know you had that.

Yeah, so I don't have to scrounge for it anymore. It's wonderful. I can just bring it with me and I sat and fucking smoked a fucking crooked, well, snappy stick to my fucking charred lips. See, you do this and I don't know how you always get away with it because when we were checking in, the woman looked at me right in the eye. I don't even know why she pegged me as someone who might smoke and she's like, if you smoke, it's a $350 fine. And then I said, oh, that's an expensive cigarette. And then but I'm silent, silence to silence, silence to silence. But I mean, you just always get away with it. You smoke so much frickin weed in these hotel rooms. And there's just families next door. We goes away. We goes away. We doesn't have a long memory. Look at me. Look how I can't remember basic facts. That's not that's your brain. I'm dying. But I think it's the booze that's making me stupider.

I understand that. It's somewhere between the two of them. Yeah, I think it's a one to punch. I don't know what it is. I'm not because I am not as fast as I used to be even when we started this podcast. Right. I mean, this podcast is the one that we're currently recording. Yeah, three minutes ago. Yeah. I started last night, smoked a whole fucking oars load of horse to my dome.

And I sat here and I listened to all of Black Star finally by David Bowie. Oh, okay. I pulled up all the lyrics and stuff and man, I just went into fucking space. No kidding. I saw David Bowie. I saw his cancer-ridden skeleton. He's still dancing up there. Is he really? He's still dancing full and carefree. Him and Freddie Mercury sucking each other's dicks and then he reaps his over and he's got Marilyn Monroe's head on the other hand.

Oh my gosh. He's great for him up there. That's wild. Oh, crackling bones up there. But Lazarus is a beautiful song and then it's definitely a wonderful tribute to his own death and I hope to do the same. Right. And it came out on his birthday. Didn't he die on his birthday? I remember. It was something like that.

David Bowie like plans it out way too perfect. That's a good question. I'm going to look it up on this thing. It's pretty incredible. David Bowie death day. Anyway. Let's check. I'm pretty sure he died on his birthday. January 10th.

He was born two days. It was two days after. That's crazy. This is great. That's classic Bowie. This is great radio. It is wonderful. All right.

Duncan Jones. No, his first name was Davey Jones. Birthday. His father's- It was Davey Jones. And he changed it because of the monkeys. Yeah. Thank God he changed it.

Isn't that amazing? You're just incredible. You're done to me. You remember that from the- Of course. I know the monkeys. They're great. They're my favorite fake band.

Really? Yeah. Why not? They're fun. Name a couple other songs. I'm going to do the thing. I'm going to put the spot on it. You want to do monkey songs?

Wouldn't it be nice to hang out sometimes? Nope. Little guy, big gal. No. Name another member of the monkeys. Bubbles, the monkey. No. What's your name?

What's a cartoon mouse? I'll give you a hint. Cartoon mouse? David Cassidy. No. That's Parker. Parker's family. Cartoon mouse, if he was a coach of a football team.

Cartoon mouse, if he was Mickey Lambo. Nope. No. No. Mickey. Nope. Nope. Yes.

It is Mickey. Okay. Mickey, then football coach. Dolan. Landry. Mickey Dolan. Mickey Dolan. There's no football coach named Dolan.

You should have said owner of the New York Knicks. What? How the fuck am I supposed to say owner of the Knicks? That's the last name. If you want to have a sports reference, that would be the sports reference. What? That's the last name of the owner of the New York Knicks. Seriously?

Michael Dolan. He's horrible. Okay. Dolan. And it's also the bishop. It's also the fricking archbishop or whatever out in New York. Timothy Dolan, who by the way is about to go down, hired in a series of sex scandals. The only way I would like to see him is fucking hung in a town square.

I want to see them feet tipped up in the clouds. They're all disgusting. He showed up at that fricking stupid ass. What was that Ben? He went to some festival. No. He gave that hat to the Metgall. He gave that hat.

No, he went to it. Did he go to it? He literally went to it. I fucking hate all that fucking horse shit. They're all dressed like popes and priests and shit. They go suck my dick. He was literally covered in jewels. Anyway, all right.

Well, we got a couple of fun news stories. We do. Should we start? Do you want to do this one with this dog? It was a bulldog and it was named Biggie Smalls. That's cute. It was super cute. That's really cute.

And according to the friend of the person, we'll get into what happened here in a second. But according to a friend of the bulldog who was a person. Friend of the bulldog. Yes. And he said that the bulldog was extremely sweet, really kind. We never heard of flies. So why are we talking about this? Well, this is just a testimony about a wonderful bulldog.

I wish it was. But no, what happened was its owner, this 22-year-old guy who refuses to give his name. He wants to remain anonymous. I wonder why? Because he smeared peanut butter all over his balls. And then the dog ate his balls. And then he's in a coma now. So he doesn't so much refuse to give his own name.

It's his family who is deeply embarrassed about what happened. Yeah. So this is according to the police, which you can imagine like they got some real crimes to solve. And then they got this one. Case of the missing balls. I got a good idea. Let's carve open the belly of this cute little dog.

So what happened? Okay. So the guy says, so this is according to the police. He says, the man applied peanut butter or another food spread to his. Applied. I like the term applied. Like it was a doctor. Like he, like he carefully dolloped it.

Yeah, he's not just drunkenly splattered and smathered peanut butter all over his balls. So in the moments before he was attacked, the victim was rushed to the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. Scottish. Yes, it's Scottish. But his genitals could not be reattached after the mind. Can you come closer? Can you come closer?

My wife fell into the bog. She can't be sick in the mood because she's getting it, but the act passed. God, the Scottish are wonderful people. Honestly, very creative. So, okay, but what happened to the dog? So he, he chewed his balls off after while he was trying to fucking make cunnilingi. He was trying to make a dog make cunnilingi on himself, his own dog. I guess so.

I don't know if he was enticing the dog to come after him. Look what he did. That's what that is. I know. I don't put the peanut butter on me. And what I'm going to say is this is not the dog's fault. The dog was just following orders, technically. So what happened was.

You can't put the banality of evil on the dog. Biggie Smalls, this cute little pup. He was found covered in blood, and then he was restrained and he was taken to kennels, taken to multiple kennels, and then later he was put to sleep. And a spokesperson told, or a spokesperson for the police said, the owner of the dog, which is believed to have been involved, has voluntarily signed documentation consenting to the destruction of the animal. Of course he did.

Because you did it. You did it. Because you seen the hospital bed. He did it. He did it. Kill that fucker. He ate me nuts. That fucking monster.

You know what's going to happen. You put peanut butter around a dog. They were going to consume anything that is on that peanut butter, that that peanut butter is on. I don't know why dogs love peanut butter, but I do love it. I mean, I get it, but. Because we love peanut butter, because it's delicious. A friend described, Henry, a friend described Biggie as an absolute angel.

An absolute angel. An absolute angel. Literally. Because you know they do the spelling things when they put the brackets in to leave things out. He's this absolute, and they took out testicle munching angel. But this is what I'm saying. Biggie was such a great dog. His friend was like, yeah.

Yeah, he's a great dog. Screw my friend who lost his balls. Biggie was great. The guy, he literally says, the dog is an absolute angel. I was happy to be around him. He gets a bit freaked out by noise, but he loves having his belly rubbed. And now he's dead because this person put peanut butter on his balls. What do you think is going to happen?

Okay, I got a couple of things here that may be controversial. I'm not really sure. But there's a couple of things that I immediately take issue with. Number one, as a dog, fellow dog owner, I am not attracted to animals in any way, shape, or form. No. But I do feel like there's. This guy's molesting the dog.

Yes. I do feel it's strange number one to have it be done by your own dog, even though you do have a sense of trust with the animal because you love this animal. Yeah. And you put the peanut butter, because I'm sure he probably tested it with his fingers. Right? Where he probably put peanut butter on his fingers and he was like, oh raw. It's a funny little lickly bee.

That's kind of what I can feel. I've been going down there. I'm with an Australian. Yeah, apparently he's Australian. But you can go like. That's just feeding your dog. You can feed your dog off of your hand. But at some point, he, in some Scottish whim, he covered his digging balls.

By the way, the scariest kind of whim is a Scottish whim. Oh, I see what he does all day. Oh, I got the chunky coin. He's sucking my hands. Right. Is it chunky or smooth peanut butter? Yeah, I would say you go for smooth. Yeah.

I don't want to want to help you if you want to do this. I mean, the balls add the chunk. I don't think you need the chunk. I don't think so. Um, but it takes a lot. Hmm. Hmm. Okay.

How do we, how do you do this oral sex? Sometimes going to involve even the tiniest bit of teeth, right? Even just like, even like a little bit of a touch a little bit, no matter how careful you are. Peanut butter. You could. I guess. But then I could see how, because the build of it, the Scottish dudes laying back being

like, give it. Oh, give it. Give it. Like I teach you. And then all of a sudden you get that. And he's like, all right. Yeah. It's great.

And then, but my question is you feel the, it didn't just go like, oh, like this is not like, no, it takes a second. It takes a second. I imagine you must have felt a little bit of a, oh, so you're getting toothy there. So you get a bit toothy. Yeah. You want to pull back that big. Well, you know how ball dogs are.

So this is an old English bulldog and they are actually known for their power in their jaws. Power in their jaws. They really are. So I think what happened was it clamped down and the guy was like, oh, no. And then it was, it was. This is the right mess. This is the right mess.

Yeah. And because the, uh, the old bulldogs, they descended from breeds used for bull baiting, which I don't know what bull baiting is. Bull baiting is an old, um, medieval sport that people go watch where you have a bear or a bull be attacked by many dogs and people would pay money to see the, uh, either the bear or whatever it is, the animal beat, kill all the dogs or have the dogs kill the animal. Okay. So this is the thing about this guy.

Rumors swirled around this town and you can imagine in Scotland, this is, this is a hot bar story as a man anywhere in the world. Yeah. Cause the first thing you're like, yeah, it's like, oh, you want to be at it? And it's like, oh, yeah, it's great. It's absolutely. I have some betas. And it's like, oh, Danny got his fucking nuts bit off on a fucking big dog.

That's a perfect par story. So first thing you don't have to fucking warm anybody up. No, not at all. So rumors swirled around the town that the injured man had been held down during the attack. However, it is now believed he was alone. Of course he was. With Biggie at the time.

So he just did this. He lost his own balls. You got to know what you're around. It's still a dog. Unfortunately, unfortunately, uh, the dog does have to be put down. It's already dead. But you don't know, it has a taste for peanut butter. No, it's got a taste of peanut, peanut butter mixed with nut blood.

Honestly, there's not a lot. I don't think there would have been. Well, there was probably some blood. Yeah, but nonetheless, I think you got to find a home for that dog and just no peanut butter around or at least just women women there because your stories about women doing this. Well, I've seen. I've seen a screen grass.

I've seen some documentation of stuff that could be construed as that. Yeah. I couldn't start it. Go to that. Yeah. Nevermind. We don't have to. I just wonder why he didn't like, why didn't he escalate it?

Why didn't he like start from the fingers, then go smear it on some like haggis or just understand that the big old like even that's not going to feel good. He would have seen that the dog was a joke. Death rattled the haggis with cover with peanut butter. Travis, he just said he thought it was a joke. I get you. I bear. I guarantee you this is the joke where the dog licks peanut butter off your balls and

you laugh. I don't know because no one else was there. This wasn't a joke. No, he's trying to come. Oh my. Honestly, the guy, they should, I don't want to say it, but maybe then maybe the dog should be alive and maybe the guy needs to be put down. This is like a story like growing up on a military base.

This is the story you hear from like a lot of like shitty 19 year old soldiers is like this is something that happens. Why? Well, thank you for your service. If you're in the military, you can do this three times. Yeah. If you're the military, do whatever you want. Put your life on the line.

You're like your basic. The only people I've ever heard of doing this is like a 19 year old soldier who's just alone in a barracks, but I would also say right Travis, but when you get to suck in like some lonely barracks stuff, I honestly feel safe. I feel safer when you put the dick in a vacuum. I've seen that. That's also bad. Yeah.

But at least the vacuum is an inanimate object. I just don't understand. I've never been in any sort of sexual situation where I would say being like suck it so hard. It hurts. I just, I don't want to. I want to bust the veins in my penis. We can assume the guy was hammered. We're talking Scotland here.

I'm going to say the guy was hammered. I think he was just trying to be funny and then he just didn't realize the dog doesn't get this joke. No, he was just lonely. He was just lonely and he just didn't want to jerk off. You don't want to jerk off so much. It's like a, it's, I'm not even, I'm not even going to go down this road, but it's also, it's an old English bulldog.

If you're like into it, it's, so you're saying if he had a young pert dog, it's an English bulldog. It's not exactly if you're going to be, I'm not going down the road. I'm just saying if you had to choose, I mean, it's not, it's not a poodle. This dodgy old dog doesn't get what's happening. All right. Let's move on. The man is going to be in a coma for a long time and he's going to be ballless forever.

I always, when he wakes up, he's going to be real fucking surprised. Yeah. And he's going to be the laughing stock of the town. The kill me dog goes the best dog you can hit. Oh my God. Nope. This man should never be allowed to buy peanut butter again. Okay.

So I'm going to go to a story that has been sent to me again and again, but obviously it's very, very important. It's very interesting. Okay. The story about the discovery of an object in 2017 that passed through our solar system that they named, wow, wow, which means a messenger that reaches out from the distant past in Hawaiian, which is very, that's a lot. Cool.

So Keanu means something like a winds over mountains that blow into Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure 3. I'm not actually sure, but it's a long thing. I got to say Keanu Reeves, my favorite celebrity as a person, he suffers from depression. He talks about it and he rides the subway in New York and it bothers me when people take pictures of him. Leave Keanu alone. Leave him alone.

Leave him alone. I do agree with that. I love it. So this object went through our solar system and it was discovered in October 2017 by the Pan the Stars 1 telescope in Hawaii. And since it's discovery, scientists have been in odds to try to explain its unusual features. It looks like a big flying duke in a mountain park.

They say cigar. They say cigar. Yes, but you're right. It also kind of looks like a flying duke. It does. Yes. But it looks like it is 10 times as long as it is wide. They first called it a comet and then they said it was an asteroid because they didn't

know what it was and then they started basically, because they didn't know what it was, they created a new class called interstellar object. And they basically kind of what they said was that they believe it was the one scientist described it as just a piece from another solar system that has flung through our solar system. Okay. So it's like a dingleberry. To use another.

Okay. So it's a dingle? So it's a duke? I'm teaching. This is my, this is me, because you know what it is about hard materials and you have to figure out how to reach the kids. Well, how big would the duke have to be if that's one of the dingleberries? Think.

Think about that. Isn't that mind-blowing? Yeah, that is mind-blowing. But what they're saying, a new research, a new paper by researchers at the Harvard Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, they are saying that the elongated, it's a dark, they believe it was dark red colored. They believe it. Not a healthy duke.

No, no, that means you've been eating beets. Yeah, you got a good doctor. And you remember, oh, how many times have I eaten beets and I've forgotten? I'm going to wake up thinking, oh, I have Astcancer. That's my, this is my new bit. I'm going to be doing this in stand-up very soon. Great, great. But they believe it might have an artificial origin.

And what they believe is that they think that it may be an operational probe sent intentionally towards us. And the reason why they see this, and basically what they're saying is, it's not that they're, again, it's always this, they always have the hint. And then the headlines of their articles always say like, it's Harvard, scientist, fine, alien probe. Right. They didn't say that though.

But it is a UFO by definition, right? Yes, but what they're actually saying is they're actually giving more credence. It's a very interesting, the actual meaning of it is that they're saying, we don't know what it was. And so we sat, and we, this is a genuine theory that it is just, we believe that it might be, it may be traveling, and they said the reason why they believe it might be artificial and piloted, is that the object had excess acceleration and an unexpected boost in speed as it traveled through and as it basically came through our, instead of being caught

in the gravitational loop of one of our planets, one of our systems or asteroid melt, it zipped right through. Right. And they don't, they feel like that that should not have happened. So this happened over three days, right? Yes. And there was like, we just so happened to catch it. Which is awesome.

Yes. This is really badass stuff here. It's very, very interesting. And they said the way that it worked, there's a book series that I read called the Three Body Problem, that whole series, a lot of the ways they figured out how the extraterrestrial objects travel was this thing called a light sail. Now is that, is that about the bodies of people who research UFOs because? The three, no.

That would have been the three chinned bodies, which is always a problem. I cannot wait for the, for the body issue of UFO, Digest or whatever. Me and Stanton Friedman on a beach, just sipping drinks, who have suckin' each other's toes. But it's this thick concept called a solar sail. Okay. Obviously, I don't really know what that means in a, in a way, I'm going to try to explain it as much as possible.

Solar sail. But in a three body problem, they talked about it, because a three body problem, they used a lot of real science. And a part of what they talked about is a thing called solar sail. Now what they notice is that when R, like the ISS, when it's in space and various probes in space. What's the ISS? The International Space Station.

Oh, okay. They feel this thing called solar pressure, which is actual physical pressure that comes from the energy given off by the sun. Okay. And so they can move things in and out of orbit. Obviously, if you are a scientist and I am completely butchering this, tell me. But essentially what a solar sail's supposed to do is, it is this gigantic, it is a sail. It's a space object, a space shuttle, that is a gigantic thing that catches the solar

pressure and uses it to move faster than our normal chemical, just like a ship. Just like a ship. They can harness the actual power of the traveling speed of light and move faster than conventional chemical. So they are saying that this was, had that. They are saying that it's possible. Cool. That if it could have been moving like that with a solar sail.

Well I also read something where they were saying this is possible. A outreach vessel sent thousands of years ago from another planet. Taking pictures. Taking pictures. Being a real Chuck Berry. Oh no. Curious restaurateur. Lock your doors.

Lock the bathroom door at all times. But that's what they were saying. Maybe this was sent. So does that mean in like a 10,000 years, some alien planet is going to get that stupid Tesla car that Elon Musk shot into space? Oh, it will show up somewhere. It's going to show up somewhere that you're like, what the hell is that? They're really upset.

Yeah, it's just going to be like, this is the strangest thing of all time. This car doesn't even work because no one can even fix the car if it does break. All I know is that if there are true nuts and bolts aliens out there, if they are coming from another solar system and they have found us, we are fucked. We are done. They might be here to help Henry. They are never here to help. I don't know.

I don't know. No, no, no, no, no. Why not? Why wouldn't they? Because we are ants to them. We are a thing. They will come. What if they're super tiny?

What if we were just giants? I just, I'm just saying this. I think interdimensional aliens are not that they're coming to help, but they are going to be more of, we are just a bunch of hallucinatory experience to them as we are to, as they are to us. I don't know, man, you got to, you got to Mars attacks. I listened to Black Star in its entirety. I know you did, but David Bowie, I bet you he thinks they'll be nice because they'll

listen to David Bowie. No, David Bowie. These people are pretty cool. He wants to fuck it, whatever it is. Of course he does. That's what he would have liked to have done. Yes. He probably is doing it right now.

I hope so. I hope he's some fucking star on Halebop. If he just went to Halebop. That would be so shitty though. Yeah, with all those losers. Yeah. Just hanging out with Apple, Apple, White, whatever, oh my God, oh God, how do I jump off of this?

But this stuff is, it is, um, I mean, obviously a lot of scientists are saying that, um, that's horseshit. We don't believe that because that's their job is to be really upset, which I get skeptical by nature. Yeah. Yes. But if you look up E Carros, E K A R O S, it was a develop, it was already developed solar sales.

So it is a, it is a technology that can exist, which is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very expensive. But we also had that blister of what seemed to be directed telecommunications from some of these radio signals that have also come out that they found recently. Right. And they don't know what the hell that is. There's also the, um, there, I saw a string of events. There's many things that are happening right now.

Yeah. It's weirdly also with the development of the space force, even though it's a, well, if it ever happens, I don't think that's gonna happen. Ding dong, dumb, dumb idea. It's already doing it. I mean, I already, I spoke to a lot of people in NASA at a party. I did. And, um, no, I wasn't a part, I go to some high end political parties, you don't want

to know. Where did you meet NASA? Um, it was, it was a birthday party for somebody. Ah, yes. And they're already doing it. All that space force stuff that's already been funded through NASA. So like NASA is really just a cover for all of that. That's why we're not going to the moon anymore.

They're actually much more militarized than we think. No, it's all R and D, man. All of it's supposed to be military. I'm all for space force. If dumpy dump shit didn't propose it, I think we would be like, okay, that sounds good. Yeah. But it's just because the messenger was such an orange puddle of a demon. Yeah.

I don't want to fucking listen to his bullshit, but I will, I, but I will say it will be very, but it seems to be there's a lot of, I think, I mean, obviously every one of us have said the same thing. I think it's in terms of, I think that I'll use this, the millennial gamer term of, uh, it's the eternal hope for the new Duke Nukem game, right? It's the eternal hope for that. It's always been a disappointing series from my understanding. Yes, people have always, or I don't know what it's, one of those games that is always

it like fall out some, some game, some game that won't come out. There's like an extra, there's some kind of, I don't know, I already did this to myself. Use the analogy of guns and roses with Chinese democracy. Chinese democracy. But then when it does come out, it looks, it resembles that poopoo in the sky. But we're all pretty, um, everybody's on edge thinking that it's going to finally be, this is when disclosure will happen. This is when the government will do it.

I, I don't know, I feel like if anybody is not as if, if there's any person who is itching to tell us it's that boy, well, honestly, he can't keep his mouth shut. So I don't think they're letting him in the big boy room. I don't think they're letting him in. Yeah. I think that's just like, you know, they're not, they're not letting them know what brick to turn to go into the place. So he's just in a library with no books in it, not even realizing why this room exists.

Having a great time. He doesn't want to be in there. He's like, yes, I don't know. But there's a couple, I'm trying to find, um, a couple of these I'm trying to find, there's, there was a series of events that have come up recently that are showing that there, there's a lot of UFO activity right now. Okay. Well, you look into that, do a little research and I will tell you a story.

It's a little bit different. This is more of a Ben Kissel story. It takes place in my home state of Wisconsin in the wonderful town of Madison. We used to party quite a bit in Madison. I did a beer bong off, I think a 15 story dorm building. It was pretty cool and that was like 11 a.m. That was the start of the day. Oh God.

That was one of those ice looshes. One of the, the shot. Oh yeah. Oh my God. With the Jagermeister or something. Yeah. 11 o'clock in the morning. Wisconsin's the best.

So a man in Madison in Wisconsin. Now he was arrested. And if you get a chance, check out this dude's mug shot. He is rock and roll. So why was he arrested? You asked. Well, he threw a beer bottle at a bartender, which okay, that's not good, but here's, here's your bartender as well.

Absolutely. Tip. Um, absolutely. But the reason why now, let me know if you guys think this guy was on a line or not. So he was rocking out to some black Sabbath, maybe some paranoid God knows what. And then the bartender changed black Sabbath to a Christmas song. Oh buddy. This is a, if you're going to play a Christmas song, first of all, you don't turn Sabbath

off. No matter what. What day of the year was it? That's what I want to know. This was, this, the story came out, this, oh, this is a bit older. No, that's fine. But I want to know what day of the year. I want to see as long as it was actually, okay.

This was December 28th. That's when he was. So it was. After Christmas. After fucking Christmas. So I understand. In the middle of black Sabbath and you're going to change the fucking step. Oh, yeah.

It's a bit of an older story, but nonetheless it's still relevant. So officers came to farm tavern bar, uh, and it was, yeah, it was after Christmas over a report of a disturbance and determined the suspect left the bar. An officer spoke to many patrons of the bar and identified the suspect as Christopher Dembeck calling him intoxicated and violent, the 33 year old was upset when the bartender changed his music. Uh, Gamecock, he said, quote, he, he chugged his glass bottle of Budweiser. I do like that he chugged it first.

I do. A true Wisconsinite. He's not going to like, he's not going to throw a full bottle. He is going to fucking, cause he knows he's going to jail. So he. I feel like you get one last. He chugged his glass bottle of Budweiser beer and slammed it down on the counter. According to the release, he then threw a bottle of beer in the direction of female

bartenders in the direction of the female bartender's head after he yelled expletives, after he yelled at her a bunch and other patrons in the bar prevented game game. But from going behind the, from going behind the counter as he circled the bar with his fist clench, according to the release, his uncle eventually intervened and directed game game back to the door. He left the bar, but pulled down a Christmas tree and broke several delicate ornaments on the way out. I mean, honestly, a Christmas song after Christmas, you get, we, I mean, I, I don't care if you

want to. You should never assault anyone. You should never. Never. But if you are going to like Christmas, that's fine. That's within your right. But please Lord, if it's after Christmas, now your time is done. I give you the month of December, even though everyone.

You already get November and they give them November too, by the way, we haven't had Thanksgiving yet and you, I'm already hearing Christmas songs. You can't just jump over the holiday. There's some of us who get some of us, I'm going to put this out there or straight up triggered by Christmas. It's just so much. If the song was Paul McCartney's simply having a wonderful Christmas time, I wouldn't fucking burn the whole bar down.

Murder would have been a lot. Sure. Burn the whole bar down. I sure would hate this. But I'm just saying. A wonderful Christmas time. Me with a Christmas hat on covered in blood. I just don't know why these people who live into this, fine.

You know, we're more of a Halloween, we're more of a Halloween family. We're obviously a Halloween family. But you know, if you want to like Christmas, we give you all through December, December 26th, though, it's done down and it stops and like there's no Halloween hangover. No, no, no. The store is when we were in a second. We were going to Halloween day. Yeah.

Halloween day. We're going to Heidi Klum's Halloween party, which was so awesome. Thank you for inviting us. Oh, my God. We were hanging out with Neil Patrick Harris or Orlando Bloom, an Oscar-winning actress. And we didn't, I didn't recognize anyone, but also they were like Orlando Bloom's table and they let us have it. That was the nicest thing ever.

We went to this court. We went to a corner of Heidi Klum's party and we're like, this is where we belong. And then they weren't giving us any of the free booze and they were like, can we get some? And they said, oh, this is for special guests. But then we realized the special guests were Neil Patrick Harris and Orlando Bloom. And then they just, they just said that you can live like us for a night. And it was a nice life.

It was incredible. They gave us so much, so much tequila and so much alcohol, so much vodka and they deliver it with a light underneath the bottle. Yeah, dude, bottle service, baby. It's the prettiest gal in the ball and it was just incredible. Anyway, so Halloween day, we're getting all geared up. We're in our Halloween spirit, Duane Reed, Walgreens, every place is a fire sale, everything must go.

And they were just ripping down skeletons. It was the way they were ripping them down. I was offended. And it was, it was Halloween day. It was sweet arms sweeping the aisles, just like pulling shit off. Right. And I was just like, you don't hate it this much. And you got people leaving up their Christmas trees well through January.

You know, I just don't understand why Christmas gets, they get three months. Christmas is almost three months long. I have decided to, it's not having peace with Christmas. I don't know if that, right? I don't even hate it. I'm just saying, honestly, it's Christmas fandom that kind of drives me a little bit nuts. It's like everything else.

I like Star Wars. Star Wars fandom drives me a little bit nuts. But with, with them, I, it's, I view it like, I have my Halloween. You can have your Christmas exuberance, like I have my Halloween exuberance. You can have that. You, I'm not going to take that from you, but it's just like, don't put it in my face. I'm sick of your pride. Christmas pride dancing around.

They're going to have these pride flags now just for Christmas. It's all going to be red and green running around, just being like another to have parades. There is definitely a parade. Well, if I could just shove it in my face. Yeah. Disgusting. And the one thing I do think is on the way out is that Santa con, because I think everyone's realizing it's just everyone's way, way too hammered and it should not exist.

I learned from the dispossessed that the only way to destroy an idea is you have to ignore it. Yeah. That's actually wonderful. And that's a great advice for what's going on right now in the world. And also remember that freedom is responsibility. That's also where I learned from the dispossessed. I finally finished it.

It's wonderful. No, freedom is a response. It's about the idea that if you want to be free of mind and it's like, but it's responsible. You have to be responsible to your society if you're responsible to yourself. I like that. That's the most responsible thing you've ever said, and so I appreciate you evolving in that way. Just look at me.

Because yes, usually you're just flipping off motorcates. I will do whatever. I know that's the lucky I was just flipping them off, but I know for a fact that I can't. He might not have been in there. I know that I know that he probably was not because God, I mean, I just, I don't want to talk about it. We were talking about this in DC. You know, the president's motorcade, it has all those cars have his blood in the back

and that's just got to be so gross. Just slaughtering around. Just all the blood just fucking slapping back and forth in the big gugs. I don't know what it is. You know who fucking won? Riggleman. Riggleman. The big foot.

The poor senator. Not senator, not the house of rep or whatever it was. He fucking won. He did, huh? Yeah. He's a fucking part of our government now. Do you have that story? It's somewhere here.

This was a story where the man, he's a conservative, he's kind of an alt writer. And, uh, this guy was trying to do a gotcha interview and was just like, so, uh, yeah, tell me about big. Denver Riggleman. Denver Riggleman. And the irony is when he started talking about Sasquatch, despite the fact that I disagree with the vast majority of his politics, it was the most likable thing I've ever seen a politician do.

Yeah. Because he was so into it. It was the most vulnerable. I've seen one of these fucking lizards and he lost to, he'll beat Leslie Cockburn. That's right. That's going against Cockburn. Have you learned about Riggleman and his big foot book in July when Cockburn tweeted out a screenshot from Riggleman's Instagram and that's what gave him the fucking bump.

Democrats are the worst. That's what gave him the bump. Yeah. She's trying to roast him. She's got to have a little bit of respect for his pastimes. Guess what, man? He flipped the roast. He turned it from, he turned it from like, oh, you think you roast?

But guess what? I just made a beautiful, uh, sack of Brussels sprouts with it. It's because when they interviewed him about it, when he went into great detail when his campaign manager was on the side, been like, no, like, dude, don't do it. Like stop. And then he knew so much about it that you're like, well, if he, at least he's, at least he's researched into this nonsense. He's not really hard on it.

He knew his stuff. He knew his stuff very well. So all right. Well, that's, he's going to run so useless. So now we got a story. Now this story is actually totally brutal. This story is fucking awful. Football player 18 is little sister of, they were allegedly shot by their bedrooms by their

mother. The Beggs high school football player was asleep in his bed early on Thursday when his mother, Amy Lee Ann Hall, fired a bullet into his head and entered the bedroom of their, of her 16 year old daughter, Chloe Tolliver, a junior of the same Oklahoma high school and shot her in the head as well. Authorities say Hall 39, then fired at a fortune year old daughter, uh, grazing the girl, um, and the youngest daughter who the police are not identifying escaped to the bathroom where she was labeled, she was labeled, later able to convince her mother to turn over the

gun. This is like some shining stuff. This is all work, no play, makes Jack a dull boy stuff. This is totally crazy. And if you get a chance, check out the mugshot of this 39 year old. She, she is horrified. She is fucking mean looking. So what?

They don't know what happened. They, they don't know what happened. She ended up in a four hour, uh, uh, chase with the police in a, in a car car chase. She left. Um, they finally got her. She's not, uh, she's not entered a plea yet. Um, they were, according to the probable cause after David obtained by people magazine hall initially told police she didn't know why she shot her kids.

She allegedly said she thought she was defending them from her estranged husband. Um, some part of me thought I was saving them. We just covered possessions on, uh, last podcast proper. Is this, this seems like it could almost fall into that kind of world. Obviously she was having some kind of mental break. She was possessed by something. She was possessed by something. She, um, said a, uh, there was something inside of her that for some reason she thought

that her, she, because she had a, her training order against her husband, okay, to kill her kids. So how bad, by the way, how to kill them. She killed them first is what she decided to do. What is it? Do me. What is that saving them? There are some people who do this kind of stuff.

This is like cult activity and stuff like that. Uh, what's, uh, Andrew Yates felt the same exact thing, felt she was saving them. It's all an excuse in the end. It's essentially just, uh, excuse to say we are, uh, that's why I killed them because really just comes down to some weird, some weird psychosis and there's something eternally about, uh, something internally about like, kind of like the way, uh, animals eat their kids. Sure.

Like it's very strange, but normally what's when they're very, very young. So it's very strange that we can just flip on our kids. The screen, the suicidal impulse, right, because I think it's the, uh, the human need to destroy themselves. It's our, the Thanatos principle. I just hope when the young pos podcasters come for us, guess what, man, you know what, you're gonna, they're gonna have quite a flight in their hands. I hope so.

You think I'm fucking weak. You think I'm fucking weak. You want to come for me? I'm gonna come for me. They've seen you planking. So if the fight involves you just having to stand very, very still, you're tough. Uh, you'll destroy them, but when it comes to the 14 year olds, you've never seen my tornado punch.

No, I haven't. I haven't seen that yet. Um, when it comes to the 14 year old, this is going to lead to some really interesting freshman in college stories. It just reminds me of, uh, what was it? The Halloween? Was it Rob Zombie's Halloween? What?

Uh, the second one where it was like the niece or there was some, the younger girl where it's like her life is haunted and she lost her whole family and then, but she's like a goth chick and then she's super cool. Yes. Yes. This 14 year olds a hero. Yeah. Her life's fucked.

Well, or she, or it's cool or we're really cool. It can go either way. It's hard because I'm, hopefully she's getting the reach out that she needs them, but she's going to get the therapy she needs because you need to fucking a whole pile of that because you have to figure out how do you decide whether or not you're going to have a relationship with your mother. Oh my God. What do you do there?

I think I'm going to, well, for it, I need a cool and off moment. That's number one. I'm just going to need a couple, at least a couple of days. Um, I don't know if you have a relationship with your mother at that point after murder murdering both of your siblings, but you could maybe she goes into, I imagine in my mind that there would be some form of maybe drugs involved. There's going to be something that's involved in this that where I feel like when she sits in jail for a little while and she's going to go, Oh, that was a bit of a mistake.

And like, what does she do? A bunch of masculine or something? I don't know. But all of a sudden she had the end of this. She's just like, Oh, what did I do wrong? I did bad. I did bad. And then you have to like figure out what you've done.

Accepting an apology. Yeah. Sometimes an apology is to giving an apology is the hardest part of it all. Yeah. That's an accepting an apology is equally difficult sometimes. Yes. Okay. Well, there it is.

That's the saddest true crime story of the week and the most brutal and it's always horrible when the caretaker, the mother that's supposed to care for their children. Mommy don't kill me. Mommy don't kill me. Definitely. It's a song I sing to my mom when I go home for any time when I'm home, I go, Mommy, please tonight. Don't you kill me now.

Oh, mommy don't tonight. She's gonna she's trying to do it like she did to that dog. She's just trying to give you so much food that you die young. Hey, death by chocolate. I love that ice cream. It's not bad. I had some chocolate ice cream with pigs blood in it. What?

Yeah. They saw the straw, the super hipster fucking ice cream. I went in there and they how the hell did that mistake happen? It was fucking they know they did it was for Halloween. The next was a real pigs blood. Yes. That's not even legal. It looked like.

Okay. The only way to describe it is who here has seen Two Girls One Cup? You've seen it, right? Yeah, of course. But apparently it was a fake video. But I don't know. No, it's fake. It was like chocolate doo doo.

It was a fake doo doo that was inside the girl's beehull because honestly, Two Girls One Cup, those actors or human centipede, they will. You haven't heard from the human centipede actors ever again or that? Well, human centipede, they went they went dark. Yeah. They went dark on their careers. They kind of bowed out. I think it was a little difficult for them.

They were eating Duke on camera. It was fake. It was fake. It's hard. We were thinking about this, the human you can go into your pig, pig ice cream blood story in a second. But we were thinking about this the other day. They didn't even know when they were shooting human centipede, what they didn't really

know what they were getting into. And they never spoke with Deter actors or just doing whatever, man. Yeah. And they never spoke with Deter laser. The only time they saw him was on set. So they really were horrified and so scared. But they thought that this was going to be their big break. And then it never is, it was kind of, it never is, but I'm going to tell you that as an actor.

It never is. Well, if you listen, if you're out there and you were an actor in human centipede, just you guys did a great job. We'll take honesty. Please come on the show. We'll fucking talk to you about the process because we'll cast you in something if we can. I'd love to because when it comes down to it's like you work very hard.

That's a very difficult job. It's very difficult. Incredibly difficult. Unfortunately, the movie was edited poorly and I liked human centipede two better, but they brought one of the girls back. Yes. The other two I think had PTSD and then they probably fired their managers and then they were just out.

Yeah. Then you just go back to Iowa and work at a phone bank or something. There's something innocent. Something nice. Something that's not a horrible business. That is show business. So you're just eating ice cream filled with pigs blood. But the way to describe it is that it was sort of a grayish brown and it looked just

like the shit that they were eating in two girls, one cup like it looked just like that shit. Why did you buy that then? Because I was curious. I'm a curious boy. How many times have I said this? I'm curious. What was it like?

How much was it? Oh, it was quite expensive. It was like $13 for like a little like two scoops. It was quite a bit. It was like fucking ripped with full of blood. Yeah. So as I'm eating it, it's very interesting because they covered it with the chocolate. They said the last year they had done it once before and they had done it and they could

really taste the blood. And then this as you eat it, it's like you get like a little kick. It was like savory. Yeah. I would assume so. Isn't it like metallic? A little bit. And then what else is blue?

It's irony. It's irony, yeah. It's irony. It's a little bit. It's got a little bit of like an awfully with the OFFAL, it's got a little bit of that kick and it gives you a buzz. That's what I like about awful because awful and all of a sudden when you eat the guts, it's truly representing the power that we have over the food chain and you feel that

sort of predator buzz. Well you have some interesting theories on food. That's why you still eat octopuses by the way. I don't. I'm off of octopus. You're off of octopus. I'm done with octopus. Octopus at that not very good restaurant.

Squid. Calamari squid. Oh, squid. Squid can't think. Squid got a brain. No, fuck that. Fuck squid. But you're done with octopuses.

I'm done. And by the way, it is octopuses, not octopi. No, it's true. That is true. Yeah, octopuses, I'm done with them. Because number one, I had a bad bump with the octopus. I ate the octopus head, I ate the whole brain out of it and it always made me throw up because it was a flavor profile I wasn't expecting.

Because it's the brain of an octopus. Anything is edible. And so I was trying it and I felt straight, it just didn't taste good. And I got sick. And then now I just kind of, they are too smart. And then the problem is it does dip into pigs, but unfortunately pigs are just, pigs are very smart too. They're just too fucking tasty for me to not eat.

I'm going to start, I'm going, if I had to stop eating meat, I would stop eating pork. Because I love little pigs and I want a little pot belly myself. I'm all right. So interesting, Henry. I'm going to say, I think that pigs blood and ice cream probably shouldn't go together, but I'm happy that you got to experience that. And if you are disgusted out there, if you are disgusted and you give to our Patreon, and then you're thinking, oh, maybe we don't want to give to our Patreon anymore because

of Henry's eating habits, which has happened in the past, Marcus and I are totally normal. And I will stop eating pork. You are almost very, you're almost too normal. You will never want to come on a culinary adventure with me. No, because you eat brains of octopuses. But sometimes it's fun to do. No, it's never fun to do. What are you talking about?

It's so much fun. Well, all right. I'll go on one adventure with you. Will you? Yes, I will. Is it an actual promise? It's an actual promise. Because we will.

I will go eat whatever you order. Let's go. Let's go. The weirdest thing I've ever, probably, liver and stuff like that, like when I was in Germany growing up, which I did not like liver. It's far too. Have you ever had pate? Yeah, I've had pate and stuff like that.

Yeah, it's fine. It's tasty. I had bone marrow. It's fine. You got to eat it right. It's just not food. I got to show you how to do it. Yeah, I know.

The order. I've never eaten fancy, so-called fancy food, which by the way, also, there's a Venn diagram of like being super poor food. And then the, but when fancy people eat it. Being co-opted by fancy people. Yeah. They're like, oh, no, this is very fancy. No, it's really not.

This is like what you're- No, it's the garbage meat. It's all the garbage meat. Yeah. So I always want food after I eat something like that that actually makes me feel like I'm satisfied. Yeah. Bone marrow is not food.

That's- it's a perfect- It's what dogs eat. It's a perfect order because it gets your esophagus and your gut's all oiled up with the fats. And so the food that you want can just slide right on in so much faster. I'm a Wisconsin boy. Just give me some cheese. Good cheese.

All right. Final story. Let's go to Antarctica. The story is really quite funny because of course it has something to do with the movie The Thing. Yes. So it was a- this is an attempted murder and it happened in Antarctica when a Russian scientist reportedly snapped and allegedly tried to stab a colleague to death because

the victim kept- kept, that's the optimal word here, kept giving away the endings of books. This isn't fucking it. This is obviously a long fight. Yeah. It's not just like accidentally being like, oh, yes, you gotta read the end of it. Oh, I can't believe it becomes a spider. And it is like he consistently saw it was like, oh, what you're eating there?

Oh, yeah? And then he was just like, yeah. And then I give it to you. He quickly read it. It was just like, yeah, you want to know something? And then he just drew. I mean, I gave it to you. He's gonna tell everybody who's died to- Dobby dies at the end of this one.

You know, they're like- What? What the fuck? This is a- Dobby? The dude. So Sergei Savitsky had been trying to use literature to pass- these are lonesome months over there, of course.

Oh, absolutely. Horned scientist. Oleg Belgezevov, Belgezevov. Belgezevov. Belgezevov. Belgezevov. We'll call him Oleg. It was making it impossible to enjoy his hobby.

This is what he said. An unnamed source of this, he said he kept telling him the endings of books before he read them. And so on October 9th, the 55-year-old Savitsky finally had enough and allegedly plunged a kitchen knife into the chest of the 52-year-old and it wounded part of his heart. Now that I think about it- He fucking was asking for it. Yeah, kind of was asking for it.

He was asking for it. That's what happens. So the men- You're all caught in that fucking little room or in these little scientist rooms? Oh, total nightmare. You're fucked. So apparently the men previously had spent four frigid years working together at the facility.

Officials said that while the reading dispute was the final straw, the close confinement in the camp on remote Antarctica played a role in fueling the attack. I definitely believe that. So this is according to deputy director of the Arctic and Antarctic Research Institute. His name is Alexander Klepka-Kup. Klepka-Kup. Perfect. And nailed it.

Perfectly. He said, quote, they are both professional scientists who have been working in our expeditions, spending year-long seasons at the station. It is down to investigators to figure out what sparked the conflict, but both men are members of our team. So they're still together. Scientists are ornery. I believe that.

They can be. They can be. We're not all the time because we have our friends like Ellie Brown that she's very sweet and she's not ornery. But I actually don't. I've never seen her while she's working. No. I don't know what she's like when she's working.

So this is what. So why is it so important, these books, because all they have is workers can spend time flipping between two Russian channels, exercising at a gym, or reading in the research library. So this is the only option he has. This guy's, I mean, he was fucking asking for it. He told him to stop. Yeah. I'm sure you requested that he stopped.

He told him to stop. Yeah. He's coming down to a point. What can he do? I don't think that violence is necessarily always the answer, but sometimes it's the only way you can get a guy to just shut the fuck up. I'm sure that Olog thought it was pretty funny. Oh yeah.

I'm just like, like, laugh at every time because that's how he entertained himself. I mean, also, though, you just got to read these books faster than Olog. If you see him reading something, you better like get that book, burn through it and ruin the ending for him. Or you just understand that, hey, man, sometimes that's not about the fucking ending. Sometimes it's about the journey and it's understanding and it's reading the descriptions and living in the world. You don't need to be surprised all the time.

Yeah. Why do they have to? Why do scientists have to go to Antarctica? We've got to go up there. Yeah. That's where we keep all the ancient evil viruses. Yeah. That's where the Nazis are holding their final compound for the Fourth Reich.

All right. You remember. Interesting. You remember from the reading. Yeah, of course. We're in Dallas and so quickly I just will bring up Dr. Daff, Christopher Dunch, who is a fucking guy. That podcast series is very good, but my one thing with the podcast series.

So Dr. Christopher Dunch was a Chris Dunch is a spine surgeon who killed two people in surgery and maimed like four, like maimed four. Was it on purpose? It was like 25. Oh, for real? It was many, many, many people. He killed these two people on purpose. We don't know.

I mean, that's a hard surgery. If you listen to the Dr. Daff podcast, it really lays the whole thing out. He had a really bad drug problem, he was in Compton, Dr. and he just sort of like it kind of went out of control and then he just was filled with hubris and would never let anybody tell him that he needed help or he needed to stop. And so he kept going and kept going and he was just doing horrible shit, like drilling holes into people's body. He left a sponge in a guy's neck.

Whoa. He just removed whole discs. He did all of this shit. People were like fucked up. It was like a serial killer doing this shit. And so the one thing that I don't like about the Dr. Daff podcast that I will say that I feel is a true crime thing in total, which is like, it's why we are a third in the world of true crime, right?

As last podcast. Right. We got aliens. We got some ghosts. All of our shit and conspiracy theory and all stuff. But a part of it is I don't like Justice Porn because of the end of the podcast is like, and then they finally, you can hear the clanking of the jail doors and they do the thing over there.

Finally, like talking about it, whatever. I don't mean to bust it, but he's being, he's in court right now. Someone's going to stab you. Yeah. Yeah. That's just called justice. I think. But I think it's this people listen to true crime because then they want to have like the

thing is like, and then they got the bad guy and then everything's fine. That's a good part of the show. I guess there's a guy out there doing the same thing right now who hasn't been caught. And I hope they get him. I guess it's just narratively satisfying though. I mean, yeah, that's the whole point. I'm just content. You just want them.

You just want the bad guy to go free. I just like, I just star wars for me. I wish it was but Darth Vader and his struggle. Honestly, I would love to see that. The administration headaches. The fires you got to put out all the time in the empire. That's very, very intense. Yes.

Absolutely. So they're the hospital that he worked at is about 15 miles away from where we are right now. Is that where they took Kennedy? Same hospital? When you shot here? You just name in random Kennedy. No, I think J.F.K.

We're right now. I remember J.F.K. You remember the whole thing? No, because the hospital he worked at is in Plano. I think the hospital J.F.K. went to is in Dallas proper. Oh, okay. But they put a doctor death billboard next to the hospital that he worked at. They're roasting it?

They're roasting the hospital? They're roasting the hospital. Yeah, of course. They let him go. They very surreptitiously got it taken down through Clear Channel. That's hilarious. Those pieces of shit let him operate for a long time because none of them want to stick their neck out because all these doctors are afraid to be.

The hospitals are afraid to get sued by doctors and the doctors are afraid to get sued by other doctors. Right, right. One of the deaths, I think her name is Kelly Martin. The coroner designated the death a therapeutic misadventure. That's a hell of a nice way to say murder. Yeah. Really nice.

Which is basically a way of saying the doctor killed her, but lay off the guy. He's had a hard... Oh, yes, he's stressed. He's not Mr. Toad. He's a fucking spine doctor. They were... It's not him and his funny jalapeno with his fucking mixed up friends and shit. That's incredible.

It's not a misadventure to kill somebody in spines. It's not a spaghetti incident. It's not. It is not. All right, well... Unless spaghetti was involved. Yeah. And he literally did just drop a whole plate of spaghetti in there rather than that.

It's a dominoes related murder. That's not the place you want to be. Well, Dallas is the place you want to be. If you want to see our show tonight. Yep. We got our show coming up tonight. We got some tickets coming out. I think this will be released after the show is already going.

So I'm sure the show was a massive success. Thanks for everyone who came out. I'm here. I'm already... Yes, exactly. The show is over. I've collected my roses. They always send us roses.

The encore. Right. Encore. I'm sorry for booking us in the hotel from the Max Payne video games, by the way. You are in that. We are at a horrible hotel. We are at an interesting hotel. We're in a terrible hotel.

But that's fine. We're right. I had a chance to walk around Dallas and it's wonderful and seeing the D. Lee Plaza was quite interesting. Oh, the D. Lee Plaza. And the grassy knoll. And there's a lot of history here. We had a great time in Dallas.

But we had fun. Again, if you have stories you want to send us, we're going to be going through these two. Side stories. L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. Again, that's side stories. Uh-oh. Side stories.

Mm-hmm. Side stories. L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. Gmail.com. That's right. Yeah. We got that coming out. You can also follow last podcast on the left and L-P on the left and all the fucking

bullshit. And you know what I'm going to do right here? There's a lot of podcasts out there. There are a lot of podcasts out there. They don't tell you what to do. Yeah, right. They don't tell you what to do. No, they don't.

They don't give you advice. They don't give you out there. No, no. There's no advice podcast out there at all. No, no. I never heard of that. I don't think there's a whole genre. No.

There's no way that we, and this is great advice that you should live, right? Mm-hmm. Big advice. Laughter is the best medicine. Well, medicine is the best medicine, but yeah. Laughter, but because of healthcare and the crisis, the healthcare crisis in this country. If you have cancer, you don't just like laugh it off because that's psychotic. There's a lot of people who have to do it.

And I suggest that you do it. Because Patch Adams, he doesn't need a doctor. Didn't work. He didn't need to have a doctor. He was a doctor. He made people laugh. And I want you to love. Good.

What do you think? Because what do you, Kissel, this week, what's the thing that you loved the most this week? Right. Well, this week, I'm loving Texas. Very nice. I'm loving, I loved all of the country bars we went to. I loved the country band that we saw. What were they called?

The drunken gizzards or something like that? That's what we were calling ourselves. So we were telling them for them to call us that. I bought their t-shirt though. They were wonderful. I love the sliders we had there. The sliders were great. That's what I loved.

Dallas, actually, the area that we were in, it reminded me a little bit of Nashville. A little bit. There was a bunch of live music, so I loved that. A little bit. I loved good old country music. So I love that. When it's authentic. I love my life.

Good. All right, everyone, and we love you. So no one ever tells you what to do. So go out there and you do that. No one else has catchphrases either. So we're the only ones who do that. There's a lot of people with catchphrases. We're the only ones who have a catchphrase.

I don't know. Live laughing and love and fartin', screwin', dancin'. Okay. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. Mugu's deletions. We'll talk to you soon. Mommy, don't you kill me.

Mommy, don't you kill me. It's a great reminder. Hey there. Ben Kissel here for Last Podcast Network. I want to tell you about my show, A Blinken's Top Ad. For more than nine years, Marcus and I have strived to present you with the most accurate and honest political podcast out there. In these turbulent times, it's our intention to unite the country with impassioned debate

that reaches out to the rational Americans who find their voices more muffled every day. Every week, I use my political science background, my experience running for office, along with my lifelong passion to stand up for the downtrodden, the wrongfully accused, and the invisible man and woman to bring you news like you haven't heard before. Let's face it, traditional news has failed us. We promise to always tell you the truth the best we see it, and I personally guarantee to not be swayed by hyper partisanship, but be guided by facts. To listen, search A Blinken's Top Ad on any podcast platform,

or go to lastpodcastnetwork.com and find it under shows. Hail yourselves, everyone!