Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Pact With The Devil

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: Joe Exotic wants a new husband, the body-parts-separated-from-bodies problem, Pamela Hupp's frame job killings, a British teen makes a pact with the devil, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories Kissel this is the week we turned it all back around. Oh, yeah, buddy. We are coming back big Yeah, this is the week. I'm changing everything. I'm getting into juicing I'm gonna go and do some volunteer work at the homeless shelter. That would be nice of you I'm gonna go. I'm gonna donate blood to families in my neighborhood I'm people saying this parade on their windows. You have to go to the doctor You can't just go to your neighbor's house with a vial of blood and be like here's the blood I've donated for you It's from me. I'm so sick of all this red tape

big government Bullshit if I want to give blood to my neighborhood and they because although all the news is like You're gonna tell me I'm willing to give buckets of my own blood Now I'm just saying I'm going to give up to a bucket of blood That's for free. I'm not even asking for money and I just want to hand it to one of my neighbors You mean tell me that's illegal or that's it round upon. I don't know I think it's frowned upon potentially illegal But I think your heart's in the right place and that's all that we can ask

I'll tell them I'll even wait another 72 it's another 72 hours for the mushrooms in my system To maybe work their way out of me so that they don't just trip balls when they start ladling into their children's fucking mouths I don't know what they're gonna do with it. I don't know what your family styles are like You need to name your next dog. Silas. I've been welcome to side stories everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Henry I love your jazz voice. I know Ladies and gentlemen coming to this stage. I don't even know who a jazz performer is so I can't I can't even do that Hubby hubby lump cap. I have no idea. They're always named after something that sounds like it could protect you from a sewer Yes, yes, and I must try to drive back from Vegas

With Holden McNeely who if you got a great weekend in Vegas We really did if you got a man like Holden McNeely in the passenger seat of your car when everybody's really hung over driving from Vegas It's a mistake, but as he was yelling I was sitting there and he was making up some bit and I ran out of bits like I was sitting there I said like oh this highway is called It's Saxie madam highway like I made up. I was he was trying to make up a name. I'm out of I'm out of humor I was humor was gone and this is where we're at Absolutely post bit side stories. Well, we had an exciting weekend in Las Vegas. It's fully open highly recommend you go enjoy

All of the wonderful things that Vegas has to offer mainly friendship We had a great group of people all that lambda variant is so nice out there Like when you get that that premium premium lambda first, huh? Yeah, you can get that with the side of asparagus It's a wonderful thing. We do have to shout out bizarre meats on Saturday in Vegas We had a dinner and then we set this one up and I want to say thank you for setting that up Henry It was a full performance. It was a three-hour dinner is that a spot called bizarre meat So if you get a chance go check it out I was crazy really funky stuff and I I

Expanded my palette and you did and my brain my culinary brain and overall It was a great experience. It was incredible They took care of us and I can't fucking wait to go back as soon as the doctor clears me. Absolutely I just give me I'm gonna have to get all of my blood checked. I don't know what I'm I don't know what I ingested There was there was definitely a time period where Eddie and I were in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard We couldn't get back onto the pedestrian walkway. We had a jump in embankment Oh, that's right. I'm sick. I don't feel good. Well speaking of sending love Maybe go ask your neighbor when you give them a bucket of your blood say and now and now may I have a bucket of your blood?

That's called a transfusion Well speaking of love and friends we the updates continue to come from Joe Exotic He is apparently he's looking for a husband and I'm gonna say this I've said this before Henry I don't I know he didn't I spoke with an animal rights expert on top hat I know he did not treat those animals right. We know he's a he's a bastard He's not a nice guy, but he should every man be perennially lonely No, so Joe Exotic and that's the thing with the Carol Baskin thing It's like, okay, we all know who knows what happened there anyway knows what happened

And he's other employee his other guy he did commit suicide in the office as well And I'm not gonna say he drove him to commit suicide I'm just gonna say that maybe the circumstances were set up that suicide kind of ended up being like there was a Suicide solution. Thank you. Ozzy was proffer. Oh Anyway, Joe Exotic he has applications out for a new husband So if you are holding for Joe if you continue to watch the Tiger King documentary and you call it one of your films And you have it in a collection of like but Buster's 18 and then it's like big gorgos weekend in Italy And then you also have the five episodes or whatever of Joe Exotic's if you jerk off to him

She'll love him. He is looking for a husband and true talk. I want him to find love. Why not? Love makes you not as dangerous. This is his new press release that he put out That is it is rambling but also weirdly pointed Joe Exotic's criminal attorney John Phillips and his office of attorneys out of Jacksonville is confident that with all of the new evidence that has been obtained Proving conspiracy obstruction of justice perjury by federal agents and witnesses Definitely, everybody lied for certain Every what the every single person who said the same exact story they were all like the only truthful moment in Tiger King Wasn't even any words

It was the picture of Carol Baskin and her with her husband on their wedding night where he's on a leash and on all fours And she's the only real only piece of truth where you're like that that is 100% accurate That's it. So therefore, so they're saying they're trying to he might be out of jail according to his attorney He might be out of jail if not the end of the year if not sooner you're talking about several days from now two to three days From now therefore Joe Exotic is having a contest called the bachelor king. Oh, we're men over 18 years of age can we at least we should have put at least over 25 years I mean do they really have to clarify we're men over the age of 18? I don't okay. I get it very nice good for you. That's what they said the top three picks will receive a three-night

four-day all exclusive paid Romantic getaway with Joe Exotic once he's been released. So you don't know what you're gonna get You don't know where that could be and you don't know where that romantic weekend's gonna be is gonna be in Santa Barbara is gonna be in Santa fuckola, which I believe is in Oklahoma. I love Santa fuckola You put it on your hot dogs and it really gives it an extra little pep Joe Exotic before he went to prison I would not call him he is a sensitive man, but he's also Uh, he's a he's a firebrand and if you cross him He says oh all of that sensitivity that I harness inside of myself that I internalize

I'm projected to you perhaps. That's why one of his husbands committed suicide The question is now he's been hardened by prison. Yes in every sense of the word. I mean just immediately You're gonna go have a four-day three-night all exclusive paid romantic getaway These men are not gonna live. No, they're not gonna drown and come they may also Can you imagine the man who is there? Pretending like they are not about to I mean sex is happening Sex is happening. Don't go to this being like we're just gonna start off slow like the first time you're gonna see Joe He's going to be wearing a tiger robe

You're gonna see his rock hard dick like it is on like don't immediately just so if anyone out there is thinking about doing it Just get that in your head. You ready. Be ready. You're gonna fucking there You're gonna fucking there stretch your calves stretch your butthole honestly stretch your butthole stretch your mouth. Oh my god Stretch everything seriously anything you can insert a penis into just stretch it because that's gonna be a gargle You're going to start go go. You know what's also big brush the back of your tongue Just to make it nice and clean and ready So that's a Joe exotic update go ahead fill out that form if you were ready for that amount of sex

I don't know if you are but he's not getting out of jail. So don't worry about it That's also just you don't know this is gonna happen. No, I think it's not possible. I mean who knows maybe I'm wrong Also, the other big update is that the zebra snake was found moments after we put out the episode Was this the one that climbed through the dude's toilet and tickled his taint a little bit? Yeah, that was another story But it's the it was the deadly snake that was a loose in North Carolina Apparently, it's been a big deal there for a while people would talk about the snake But it was got and I think it was committed suicide by cop. Oh, isn't that sad? The they got a good the Raleigh police. They have arrested Christopher Michael Gifford. He's 21

He had 36 counts of improper enclosures three counts of mislabeled enclosures and one count of failure to report escape Out of all of the things The mislabeling What is that? So the cops are gonna go in there and you're gonna have some lazy cafe or stinky Steve be like stinky Steve Technically, that's not a cup. Yep. That's a venomous Or rather thing and he mislabeled it on his cage and now that is all of a sudden a felony as well This is all of us are felons. Are we not for mislabeling? I think that snake taxes. That's some kind of problem with me also Truly, I believe you're not supposed to have venomous snakes, right, right? And so

Then so you Present the snake. I don't need it. I don't know if you need snake insurance or if you need a snake license I'm actually not sure if you have to go because it sounds like you have to say to the government. Hey, I have 25 Venomous snakes is that cool? And they're gonna be like not unless you give us $65 or something like you have to basically Probably pay them some fee and then it's fine for you to have Baskets of snakes. You mentioned snake insurance. I did find from exotic direct dot co dot UK You can get snake insurance for a thousand what appears to be I forget their name of their number over there It's around 50 hundred bucks pounds. Yeah, they got the pounds over there

Is that you're about a thousand pounds? You can get a snake covered with vet fees death or even theft I don't know who on there in their right mind steal snakes. That's insane scary and According to this they said we paid 94% of pet insurance claims in 2020 so I don't know what that shit was But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so you can get it and it only costs 12 pounds a month and it's payable over 10 months Wow, so there you go if you do have a snake and you're in Europe go to exotic direct comm and you can find yourself a Little snake insurance if you don't have human insurance first Then you're making a mistake that you insurance first, but you can actually get insurance in the UK

They actually are fine there doctors are free so that they don't have to worry about that We that's the one thing that they have correct There's also a Another story that has kind of wrapped up this week that last week. I received right after we recorded of course I received several emails talking about how Minneapolis is having a little bit of a body parts are separated from people's bodies Problem that's a long way to say that yeah, they've been finding they've been finding body parts Is this the three-body problem that you always talk about? No because those are three whole bodies This is one body in many parts. Oh, they have identified it as a person named Adam Johnson

There's the Minneapolis They just recently found his penis Which is I guess his penis was going for a walk and it got lost No, I don't think so. I think he was brutally murdered the events leading to his death are still unclear This is from Fox 9 but officers believe his killing was recent They would say that if the body parts found had been frozen or preserved in some way Maybe it would have been you know like they've been put him in the leftover bin or maybe he was in the meat fridge But it sounds like this shit was farm fresh

Wow, this is unbelievable. The dude is only 36 years old The cops received a 911 call around that's just a boy He's just literally a boy the cops received a 911 call at 644 in the morning They found a severed leg just in a field. They found a severed leg So again, this is someone who was out there on their morning routine staying out happy healthy and Thriving and next the next thing you know they find a human foot and that was on the 300 block of Main Street, no one has any idea No one has any idea what they'll happen. They don't know what's happening because they've only found a couple of parts of him

But that's so many. I know but it's not the whole thing No, no, you need more of the part you need more of the parts to know But also, why do you believe that necessarily the person who found the leg was doing something innocent? You don't know the actual Intentions of witnesses. I think about they're trying to do murder themselves and actually got kind of sad when they found That murder was done ahead of them They should like oh that should have been my leg or maybe he went over there to put his penis inside of that leg And then you said oh well now someone's watching. There's a crowd here, and I'm not a performer

I fuck body parts in private. Oh, I'm gonna call the police. You don't know what people do you you are correct I have to give you some credit on that 644 a.m. That's two That's ships passing in the night the people who have not slept and the people who are going to work being very responsible Whenever you're on the New York City subway from 6 to 7 30 in the morning. It's a collect dick Oh, yeah, buddy. I remember when Holden and I got into the elevator at the hotel where we were staying in at 5 30 in the morning And Holden and I were Visibly inebriated. I had a fully this past weekend. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, and we keep your shirt on this weekend I don't know what the it's a great shirt, but then you had your sash a.k.a. What was my man?

It's my purse. It's a purse. It's a purse. It's a purse. It's European It is something and for some reason both of your tits at some point would just inevitably pop out It's Vegas. It's Vegas. I couldn't control and they wanted out But we got into the elevator and then this lovely woman got in it was about 5 30 in the morning And she's like, oh you guys up early, too? And we're like, yeah Yeah, it was like I see two times very much time browser what asleep and then she was like I'm on my way to the ballroom dancing competition. I have to get my hair done I have to get my makeup done. She then she talked about the whole process of ballroom dancing

I mean while like what if we just attacked you? Like we're too Crazy-eyed maniacs, but we were actually very nice We asked her questions about her hair and then we went to sleep. That's fantastic There's a lot of cameras never attack in Vegas. You're gonna get found out so Johnson It seems as if he's dead and they found Johnson. Yes. No, yeah He didn't fall he didn't fall apart like he was a Lego man. No, he was he was disassembled

So we're gonna figure out what happened there It must be some kind of so they cut off his penis and his legs with what else did they fight his arm? They found his like hand one whole leg is dick and balls and a man I just want to do everything possible to not end up like that. I just want my my penis to stay on me, man I just feel like a detached penis It's like I'm a grower not a shower. I just feel like it would be so sad It's no body attached to it. It's just like what is that little thing? Did you ever see the Lorraine Obama John Bobbitt's penis?

Yeah, but he actually looked like it had a relatively nice girth to it. Well, she pulled it out shit But yeah, he's a piece of shit. She pulled it. She pulled its top Snapped it at the end click click click. That's what's scary It's also like the song detachable penis that I remember listening to with my father in the car and he didn't understand Isn't that so touchable penis is about what the same penis on here, you know Everyone says with with miss Bobbit or with with the gal who cut off Bobbitt's penis. Oh, I heard him Lorraine Oh, yeah, she heard him all this stuff. No because of what she did He got to make a wonderful documentary called Franken wiener. He gave him a career. He was a loser before

He's a loser now. Oh, yeah, it was a piece of shit and turns out her story is actually very like it went from a national like Joke to like, oh my god, Lorraine Obama was a victim and then the penis snip and just kind of was a part of it Well, again snapping off someone's penis with a pair of scissors is really never acceptable Go get out of there and there's places and resources, hopefully for help that don't require you to cut off the genitalia Of your abusive partner. I will cut off your chance. Whoa I want to do this one because this is interesting to me this woman killed her friend Henry Yes, and she blamed the friend's husband And then the friend's husband went to prison for multiple multiple years. Oh, that's Pamela

Her name is Pamela Hupp and then finally the dude's been released. He was in prison for 10 years And finally we find out that Pamela Hupp framed the guy. She killed the friend this woman This is almost worthy of a horror movie. It is. I also like the idea of that did super deviousness This took a lot of planning It did and she's freaking scary and you know, she put the waterworks on So the charges announced this past Monday were the latest twist in this bizarre 2011 stabbing of Hupp's friend Betsy Faria Now Faria's husband who served more than oh, I'm sorry. He only served three years in prison

That's too long outside. Yes, it is one hour in prison is long enough before he finally won retrial and was cleared And then Russell Faria tried for years to pin the blame on Hupp who was known to be the last person to see Betsy Faria alive And after Russell after Russell was set free Hupp then killed a man in an effort to point authorities back to Russell. Wow So this woman Is killed two people now In a depth of frame Russell one man

So if you're Russell, you're just like, can you stop killing people and trying to frame me. What is happening? Just go to therapy. I'll say I'm sorry. That's what I do. Like what do I need to say to stop all the killings It's just insane. If you're Russell, you're just like, can you just I'm ma'am ma'am I'll go to South Dakota. I'll actually let you stay where you are and I'll move Stop killing people and trying to frame me. Please I actually want to hear the whole story because remember the story we did about the sugar nape palm With a woman pouring the sugar water on the husband and we didn't know why she killed this old man We're like, oh this psychopath woman, blah, blah, blah

Turns out he was molesting the kids. No, do not blame Russell. Russell's a victim here I'm not blaming Russell Lincoln county prosecutor Mike Wood That's what he said. He said this case stands alone in its heinousness and depravity Such as it shocks the conscious and now because of the other murder They're gonna seek the death penalty. Wow. Yes. She's dangerous She stabbed her friend 55 times Pamela Hupp. I want to see what she looks like. Pamela Hupp. She looks you can yeah, you take a google search of it Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's mega Karen. She's smiling in the photo

Looking woman. That's no good right there She looks like she might be related to the horrible family from children under the stairs or people under the stairs I often say oh, yeah, she's got the look She's got the look of a psychopath And um, so the cops should also feel a little bit of guilt there for just immediately be like, okay psycho lady I guess we'll arrest this guy. You have blood all over yourself, but that's fine. It's very scary You got to be careful out there, man. Whoo. She mad The only reason they were able to set her off the only reason they were able to get her because of rick harrell

He was a newly elected sheriff Um, he said that he launched an investigation into misconduct and potential criminal behavior on the part of former investigators And prosecutors so a lot of corruption here Whoa, holy shit. Betsy faria the original victim was already dying of cancer when she stabbed her to death and that wow I wonder what happened was I guess it was like she was just trying to get off her herself because The about the insurance money Do you know do you want to know the name of miss hub who's now 62?

Do you know what you want to know the name of the guy she killed? What? Louis gumpenberger. Oh gumpenberger was a born victim and he was only 33 years old. So she shot him in 2000 She she shot him in 2019 Just to throw it on the dude again Yes, and then she tried a bizarre scheme and she tried to deflect attention She said they put a 900 dollar cash double bagged in plastic in his pocket And then she put a handwritten note with instructions to kidnap

But pamela hop drive her to the bank to get quote unquote russ's money Then kill her to collect the balance of $10,000 payment promised after the alleged hit Jesus yeah, hub claimed gumpenberger was an intruder who followed her in her suv Drump jumped into her vehicle held a knife to her throat and demanded and demanded she drive them both to the bank She told investigators that when she knocked the knife away and ran inside her home the man followed and in two 911 calls She reported a burglary in process and then the shooting she set it all up It's horrifying how people use the police to set up their own their own uh little narrative there And then sometimes the police just shoot you in the head. You're not fine. No matter what it's really really interesting out there

You know what I mean? Lambda variant that's what I call this man Yes indeed. Well in charging hub just lastly when it comes to gumpenberger even sadder She was uh unaware. He suffered from physical and mental impairments related to related to a 2005 traffic crash So gumpenberger just had he was gone and then everything started going wrong for gumpenberger At least he made it to 30 33 Oh

Maybe it's better man. Maybe life's too hard for a gumpenberger Maybe it's okay. I'm not I don't want him to be dead, but I feel like maybe it's probably almost Maybe things were just too tough for him and he just wasn't gonna make it in America Maybe not. Anyway, well actually this story is something we're gonna follow the article here goes on and on But we will follow what happens to pamela hup because I don't think I've heard of I don't think I've ever heard that before She killed two people to try to frame one guy Probably because she loved him

Maybe that's what it is jealousy over his new shoes Maybe yeah, it was about the jays. It's about the jays Um, this is another story that we're probably gonna be following for a little bit and see how it pans out These are the wembley murders that uh just got wrapped up. This like this is an interesting story from the uk Teen found guilty of murdering sisters beba henry and nicole smallman in london park Um, this is a daniel hussain 19 stabbed beba henry and nicole smallman in fryant county park in wembley Um after he made a quote-unquote diabolical pact with the devil now if you look at his he wrote out a An actual

Contract yeah, he wanted to he was talking to a very specific demon the way they got him. We'll talk about it It is uh, he wasn't good at it. So this is a piece of paper, right? So this is agreement This is his with this is the the pact he signed up for the devil It says for the mighty king lucifuge refractor now, which if you know, is this luciforge Who's luciferge refractor luciferge luciferge refractor is the this is true Is the demon in the hierarchy of demons in charge of the of satan's treasury? Right, so he says this is his his terms Perform a minimum of six sacrifices every six months for as long as I am free and physically capable

That's actually quite a few sacrifices Do you think we're talking animal sacrifices or if he goes to like old uh to like a golden corral and has an extra plate Is that a sacrifice sacrifice only women his term too But no, I wish that he would honestly if that would have been nice if it was sacrifice 10 chicken wings every week I'd be right there He says then the third term was to build a temple for you so that I do everything To build a temple for you and number four. I will do everything that I have promised now for him

He says the main thing is he wants to win the mega million super jack spot this mega million super jackpot To receive fruitful rewards in return for the future sacrifices I make to you their rewards could consist of wealth and or power I don't know if this guy really understands when you win the jackpot. It doesn't necessarily come with power He's oftentimes it comes with a drug addiction and a bunch of family members. You didn't know existed That's my favorite thing if you've ever seen when people win the jackpot. They want to be fully covered They have a mask on a mask He had a mask he had black gloves and then the people who set the people who were coming to like

And also if you think you can make his face out he padded the mask like this dude remember that show Magic's great. It's greatest secrets reveal. Yes He was like dressed like that. I'm like, how bad is your family? What I don't understand what he's saying. I get I get what he's going through the lottery ruins people's lives It ruins people's lives. He isn't always asking for it. So you imagine Henry. You're a demon. You're a demon, Henry You get a note telegram. You're in hell Oh, this guy he's going to do all this shit for me. He wants to win the fucking lano. Can a demon even do that? No, because if you looked at because number one, you know what he didn't do

He didn't get it signed So he has at the very end says signed by me colon and it says dan y'all which he wrote in his blood over his own signature He first wrote the signature down in pen and then he traced it with blood and then where it says king Lucifuge rofacate or whatever it is He didn't sign and this is what's really important. No, no, he didn't sign And I think it's really important for you if you are going to get a contract signed the person that's supposed to give you the mega million Slottery money that person needs to agree with it as well

Yeah, because you're not gonna get it. Well, this demon's gonna take half of it Well, you know that whenever someone never split and you know, it's all fun and games until you win If you're like Henry, you have an extra two bucks on this five dollar scratcher next thing, you know I went 20 million bucks and then Henry was like 20 million would be around six million and they'll say yeah But you gave it to me as a gift and then we go to court and everything's ruined and then by the time we're done settling it We have no more money because of all the court fees. Yeah, it's called the fucking one jury of the sea of the system Uh, but he thought that so the last tenant of his contract was that he didn't want he wanted to be invisible to police

So what he did is that he bought the knives that he was going to kill the two people with Just in a store with no mask on so CCTV found him and the way they got him is that when he did He stabbed them brutally and ran and left the bodies behind a bush Was that he cut himself very very severely and he covered the scene with his own blood Now this happened at the beginning of june and they just identified him and brought him in because that uh because of dna databases Like 23 and me so they found family members Through the dna that they had on there and then they looked at the cctv footage that they just had They went and they got him, but he is your standard

internet moron He was one of these like this is the problem because now they're trying to pay them They're kind of like doing the thing where he he did right wing searches and shit But he's just a shitty 18 year old on the internet, which means it's all you do Um, so that he is uh, he's one of those guys You try to find like some weird shit. They found like the occult symbols in his room, which is if you look around my office It's all occult symbols Right contracts too. How many contracts to the devil do you have in there? I don't worry about it. I already work for NBC

Yeah Got him go there you get a accountability There it is So anyway, he's gonna go to prison for a long time apparently he also had a girlfriend, which I did not Uh realized, um, you know a lot of people can get those all you have to do is have a deal with the devil And kill a few people and next thing you know, put your gum right in I just don't really understand why you thought he it would work and I

I'm in the I look at his face his eyes are uneven He's got a shitty little mouth and big ears and the big ears is kind of what makes him British I look at him and I say honestly, he's not gonna make it So this guy is not a he's not an interesting or capable human being and now he's just gonna be in jail For the rest of his life. Oh, yeah, it's a complete and utter Failure, uh, he tried to explain the injuries away to the cops by saying he had been robbed But interestingly enough he says he was robbed when he had gone to buy lottery tickets But those lottery tickets were losers. No wonder as at that point like oh, no

I was oh, no, I can't believe the lottery was a loser. Oh, no I think that he might have he might ever like But the devil, what about that devil and they're like, um, I don't know I mean, this is the lottery ticket It would be incredible though if the police did confiscate his lottery tickets And then one of them hits and then they just go and cash it because that's what I would do And that's not like I'm because of my father's son or at all, you know, I mean No, and the sad thing is I mean other than this entire story he killed two ladies miss henry and miss smallman

And as henry said it was all covered on cctv camera footage. I don't feel any envy For the person who has to watch that footage, although, you know, there's one guy in every police department named like, um, Voreger glurp. Yeah Detective glurp and he's got to go and he's just like I want a contest I got to wear a badge and they gave me a gun like they just put him in his job And they're like sit here watch videotape. He's like, that's what I do at home. Watch more people Getting murdered. So don't sign the deal with the devil and certainly don't sign a deal with the devil So that you can win a lottery because again that just makes your life a waking nightmare

It does I do want to talk about this other story But I love now is that we're stout now Some other countries, you know, the u.s. Is getting quote-unquote out of the pandemic other countries are getting out of the pandemic And it's kind of fun to see like what everyone's excited to do And the uh, what how that affects neighborhoods I love this story. This comes from everybody's favorite and most intelligible magazine the sun You guys love it

Furious locals complain villages peace and quiet Shattered by screaming and moaning from swingers festival. Oh my goodness, you know I would rather hear wonderful moans of of exaltation And orgasm than the moans of cats or crying So I feel like the neighbors calm calm down and let people have a little bit of fun these days It's here. We got a foreign party 2021. It is fuck party 2021. It's getting out there 400 swingers Went to this little farm like if you look there's just some kind of like satellite pictures of it from up above These are drone. This is drone footage where you just kind of see a bunch of trailers and shit

There's like a pack of people all the fucking naked now This is in grand them niggenshop On friday to take part in swingathon Which was almost cancelled last week after organized called it quote-unquote too much of a hassle Now what I do love is it had hot tubs a naked singer Fetish demos miss miss and mr. Swingathon 2021 Um, which is fine. They had a adult bouncy castles a mobile dungeon a wet t-shirt competition And I just think it's really interesting because our main thing they kept pushing is that this is all covid safe

There it is. You're in an orgy Well, you're having fun nothing wrong if you want to have the old orgy there Uh, no, no the orgy's fine. I just don't know how you think it's safe from fucking anything if you're just purposely having sex with each other I just think it's fun. They keep it like it's covid safe. Meanwhile, like One guest said at the event uh hidden among the fields of the a52 It was uh, it was being heavily patrolled by security guards. Just oh, yes Just be like hey berry come over you. Hey, yeah, we all here to make shawl you fuck

Um, he explained as well. They said it was all covid faced uh all all covid safe However, there was a lack of lose and washing facilities and then he says this is according to the witness one guest He says oh, also, there was no social distancing. It's a fuck party. Yeah, it's a fucking it's a six foot dick And you only want the head rubbed Um, so yes, uh, anyway, everyone did take the test and um, you know But they were just mad because all they heard was the moaning and coming from there and honestly, you know Men should be louder during sex. I've heard you should add more noise Definitely not your repertoire. You should add more silent. Yeah until until told not to be

No, that ruins it for the women. No, the women need to detect the fantasy that they have that we are very little to do with Apparently the event organizer Organizer said it went off without a hitch and everything was fine. I'm happy. It's great. Yeah, man. As soon as you come You don't worry about it anymore. No, you don't worry about anything whatsoever. Also There was oil wrestling, you know as we talked about as Henry just mentioned the world opening up a little bit as we Worked through the trauma of the past year and some change apparently There was a 600 year tradition in Turkey and everyone gets together and it's all men and they douse themselves with olive oil

Okay, and they wrestle around. This is the 660 60th installment of the annual Kirkprene oil wrestling championship man. That's straight as hell You know, these guys are so straight that I don't think they can recognize how gay it all is They the picture that I'm looking at has a man with his hand Up inside of another man's ass and they are all wheeled up. That's a grip. That's a presidential It's I've got a good the presidential bowling grip Yes, it was and so there was one fighter Ali Gurba's he was from the Mediterranean

And he was able to retain his title after a 48 minute bout with anakara ismail cock And they did it on the grassy square and then he won the golden belt So isn't that fun? That's nice gold. Honestly when it comes down to it. It's just nice that nature is healing Yep, this is what you want. Grab a man by the asshole this weekend. Get that shot. Absolutely gurba's He says after his win. He says I'm so happy. There was no wrestling during the 2020 During in 2020 due to the pandemic. I became the chief wrestler in 2021 I hope to be the chief wrestler next year and be the eternal owner of the golden belt Hey, man, I wish more power to him. I hope he gets it. I want him to get there

Because soaked in oil got to be hard to be the sheets on his bed. That's for certain. Oh, absolutely It was 3000 dudes shirtless Mostly in black shorts a lot of cigars. I can smell the cigars Oh, yes, and honestly if you light a fire if you light a match and throw this near them This is this is a barbecue. It would be very explode. Yes, they will for certainly catch on fire Yes, according to gherkin. He says, uh oil wrestling has its own disciplines traditions customs and traditions And then he says but by God's will we will finish the 600th and 60th

Kerberner wrestling event on this day and perform all the rituals one by one without skipping any That's awesome. Hey, I don't know what all the what are the rituals? Honestly, if you know email side stories lpotl the gmail.com because maybe on tour kissle We can reenact Some of these rituals and we get so much olive oil. Well, I guess it. Yeah, they have they know they have the olive oil They have the olive oil if we do end up doing our turkey tour when we've been captured by isis And we have to go perform for air to one. I can't wait. We'll do great and we'll just yeah, we can we'll laugh We'll crush you have you might have to shave you might have to shave. No, I don't know

My body I don't know if I'm slick with oil. I'm actually a more textured like an honor Yeah, but you don't want to be a body that can grab you Well, yeah, that's always bad, but that's what's like. I don't know how that's Works, that's why I'm letting the hair go on top so I could people stop grabbing my long luscious hair during my street fights I believe you buddy Um, did you see the video of this woman duct taped to a chair on American Airlines? Did you actually watch this video? Oh my fucking god. There was a woman that they just they

People are now mad. They're trying to say like they she did they the stewardesses did this improperly But no, they need to duct tape this bitch. She was trying to open the fucking door I was duct taped her you if you're on a plane and you hear me And then like I want to open the door You need to duct tape her you need to get that What what's the um the whatever that one the billy maze sells or whatever that all that other when are we gonna get to the point Where there's so there's so many

Freakouts on planes right now when are we gonna get to the point that you need to sign like a psychological release To go onto a plane because this shit's getting out of control This woman stood up in the middle of the flight says I gotta get off this plane and she went and she was trying to open up the door They know what to do the stewardesses dog piled on top of her They had nothing they didn't know what to do They were it was like an hour 15 minutes into a two hour long flight They were already like about to go into like the with the descent like initial descent

Yeah, dude, so they just like well we got to bind her up So they just duct taped her to a thing and she's going like And apparently one of the stewardesses suffered a horrible bite wound. Yes, that's the thing so anyone who is I defend the stewardesses because or the stewards because this is so unbelievably fucking frustrated and difficult And why are they the ones having to deal with this a flight attendant's job is incredibly difficult You are not just a you are uh, you are yes, you do wait stuff But that's not the only thing that you do you're not just giving drinks and shit. You're the safety officers You're the fucking police you are a tube in the sky like literally your nicolas cage in the movie snake eyes

You know everything and you need to solve the crime as well Do they always have an air marshal anymore? No, I don't think they do anymore. No, definitely not they used to after 9 11 I feel like every point of the air marshal, but now they armed the pilots though So the pilots do have some little guns in there, but guess what man? Guess what's it's incredibly hard to do shoot a gun on a plane because then everybody dies There's no point in having the gun Technically they should have tasers or rips a plane. Well, that would be more fun But I think a plane could survive a few bullet holes. They should have knockout gas

Just for the flight for everyone If they did that we were as knockout airlines just knock us out turn the fucking knock up on Oh god, let me know when we're in australia So fucking that is finally sleep. Yes. So the reason they had a duct tape her mouth, which I think is why people are upset Is because she was spitting and as Henry said she was biting and these are just people They're trying to blame this goddamn plane so they can get to the other fucking goddamn plane So they can drop these fat people off at their goddamn vacation spots and go about their goddamn lives This woman, I don't know why people have forgotten how to act on planes. I don't know why I don't know what happened in 2020

I don't know what they were thinking about during 2020. That was like next plane. I'm on. I'm freaking out Specifically the last two years were not good for our country. They were not good Um things went obviously very poorly. Of course, we had the quarantine pandemic that drive people and drove people insane We also just had rage tv 24 7 our rage social media 24 7 and it's turned people into Uh ravenous dogs to turn into mad dogs around and I don't really understand why because also there is more Opportunity to do things that make you feel better than ever before there's more psychological things that you could reach out to like more like self-help Situations like more things that you could reach out to more resources

So I don't I don't particularly understand what the fuck's going on you mentioned rage and also let's see here Just quickly we can keep this in the show But just a quick question for mr. Henry Zabrowski. Do you want to talk about ufo's today or do you want to wait for next week? I will do a big update on ufo's next week because one thing we got I would I will say you can keep this on the show But I will do this next week Uh, well, I will do this next week, but you should look up the devon seafront ufo Which was one of the it is a wild Fucking looking thing again from the uk devon this ufo was fucking crazy looking

I don't know what the hell that shit is and We're just in is that the ufo? No, it is this is not the uso that jeremy corbel has threatened to show this This proper footage of which I have not seen I watched it the other day. It was freaking crazy I don't yeah, you saw the one that looked like a ball like the one that looked like a pack of balls And just like dropped into the fucking ocean and pop back up and the thing about how cool the uso research is I don't give a shit if it's alien whatever it is either way that's really awesome And let's go figure out what the heck is down there because no matter what this is where I think the um

The ufo and just kind of like the I don't want to say normal But people who may not love like alien lore they can all just come together and be like whatever it is That's really fucking awesome. Look at this if you look at that jeremy corbel uso video. I'm watching it again right now it's just What the fuck? is That thing that looks like the movie solaris. There is no reason for the I mean, I don't know like that's why You know, well, they said it was we will talk about it next week. They said it was some kind of I forget what they said

I'm just gonna go with big old tuna Big old tuna. It's not in the subway sandwiches. Yeah, there was someone who's been like, I don't know what that is So I'm sure somebody does somewhere anyway Um, did you do any research? Or have you read any story about the planet that fucking blinked? That's another thing I have to talk about maybe next week I'll do a big high strangeness Update next week planet butthole wink it Um, wink it. Well, there was a sandwich man who recently pled guilty or pleads not guilty to destroy up to $12,000 worth of lobsters

Did you hear about this? This is then the this is in the cape cod times He's a 70 year old east sandwich man. The name of the place is east sandwich. That's cute I'm kind of funny. He destroyed $12,000 worth of lobsters at a seafood or seafood restaurant last week. Oh Um, well, oh my god, dude. Look at a picture of this dude. Oh, he looks like he ate all of them Why is he trying to why did he destroy them? Well video shows? The damages between 8,000 and 12,000 worth of lobsters The store managers told police that when he arrived at the market at 6 30 in the morning He noticed that the live seafood tank

Uh, did not have any oxygen flow or water circulation Oh my god And he saw that the power boxes located in the back of the building were turned off The manager turned the back the boxes back on and checked on around the 2,000 pounds of live live lobsters And he found the lobsters were stressed beyond normal because of the lack of oxygen And the business owner arrived and transported the lobsters to a process. Was it an accident or did you do it on purpose? Well, according to surveillance footage vato, that's the dude who did it. I guess he appeared at the property at 9 18 p.m Uh, please describe an older white fella. He was wearing he was wearing jeans a blue shirt and a baseball hat

He pulls up to the market in a white GMC Sierra truck He retrieves trash he retrieved trash bags from the back of the truck and he threw them into the dumpster And then he turned off the power boxes Cool, uh vato. He currently works at the market basket And uh was previously the owner of superior lobster and seafood. So perhaps This is this is a sabotage. This is perhaps industry sabotage. Whoa That's terrorism. That's seafood terrorism that in Cape Cod Lobster terrorism is real. I think the homeland security come and picks you up. Yeah, absolutely

Oh, so do you think that east sandwich like has a rivalry with west sandwich? I'm sure north sandwich and south sandwich if you ever get them together It's going to be a freaking bloodbath. Yeah, no, man. I want to see that. I want what gang are you on? I'm gang because honestly, I like a lobster roll. I don't think it's that great if I was going to choose something else I'd rather I don't like a seafood sandwich Like type of thing. I'd rather have a fried fish sandwich. Hmm So funny enough the police ended up looking through all the trash bags and they said oh that is connected to mr. Vato And then the final the find the scapecott what a moron he left that it's a calling card

Yeah, he said police arrested vato at his house on friday taking him to Sandwich police station Isn't that nice he messed with lobsters and he went to go to sandwich police station It sounds like he's like he lives in a pineapple under the sea. That's fun. I mean other than if you're a lobster That's the thing but the lobsters don't know but at also the same time I do believe on some level the lobsters are so happy To make us happy. Well, I actually didn't send you this story. This is a bit off here I didn't even have it pulled up, but it is uh illegal now. I believe in the state of california to boil lobsters alive

It's illegal. It's illegal Well, I don't know. I guess I'm some kind of serial killer. I've never done it though. I've never boiled normally, uh I haven't boiled a lobster in a long minute, but I know you're supposed to stab it in the brain before you throw it in there Yeah, you're not supposed to do it. It's not screaming. They say that you hear lobsters screaming, but it's not screaming It's air being released from their shells. Well, according to this. So this I'm sorry. This is not in california. This is in This is going to be in switzerland norway and new zealand They have banned the boiling of live lobsters Um under plans to boost welfare rights of crustaceans and mollusks

Interesting. So boiling the lobsters alive. Yeah, it's banned under the plan. Hey man, whatever it's got to be I'm not I'm not entirely against it. I don't know what to say, you know, the government is preparing to recognize the lobsters crabs Octopi squids and other interverts In uh invertebrates feel pain. That's part of the legislation It's uh, hey man. I mean we can't get voting fixed, but I'm glad lobsters will be okay Thank god. Thank god. They're taking care of I'm glad the lobsters were the first of the the list because of all of the The things that need attention and all the groups that need help Uh in these various countries those lobsters because I mean because obviously the lobster union must be fucking huge in the lobster

You know how many people they're sending into capitol hill all these lobster advocates all these guys with big claws and antennas hanging off their heads Oh, you know how much pool they fucking have Absolutely right now. What about the butter industry? That's my question because I feel like the butter industry should actually have a little More skin in this game and so to be like, oh, what about all of this? Oh, so Oh, okay. Now. I was gonna make it a crime for me to spread delicious melted butter all over these carcasses of these Oh, these tortured feeling creatures that can't vote Well at present the at present the animal welfare sentience bill. It only covers vertebrates So now they're gonna say invertebrates as well. Finally some action

I'm just so glad that these guys are all hard at work doing shit that matters. It's huge. Good work everybody I'm just happy. I could get your actual real-time response That's one of those That's one of that's one of those you got to sit with sometimes as an american man It's just really absorb with it really absorb it. Wow really good work everybody. Good work country All right. Well, I think let's do hero of the week. Is it time for hero of the week? Yes, it is we need a hero This week's hero of the week is truly a hero And I don't even want to get I don't want to get to uh up the I don't want to get to up in the clouds here

But when you stop a mass tragedy from happening, no one knows how bad it could have been You know, I just stayed at mandalay bay. I always stay in my bay. I love mandalay Um, steven paddock the the devastation knows it's a haunting place because of this show Like I kind of have a hard time staying there just because I know like how hard it is Well, yeah, it's certainly not a place for certain jokes. That's for damn sure No, but if someone could have just stopped him and the people were like, well, thank you for stopping him I don't think we fully understand you got to be like, thank you for saving hundreds of lives in

Hundreds and hundreds of injured lives dead lives. Thank you for having uh, thank you for saving those people, but Uh, a hotel maid did just that She prevented a los vegas style shooting at the upcoming ms. Uh mlb All-star game that's baseball the housekeeper tipped off that she had found more than a dozen weapons And a thousand rounds of ammunition at a hotel near coors field So this is what's so amazing. I was talking to henry before the show We we know hotels well and obviously you go to hotel the first thing you do you jerk off. That's just what happens Of course, you're always am I doing that's how you start a that's how you be a person in a hotel

Well, that's just how you that's how you like it's just very primitive It's just like when dogs take peas on other peas Just the first thing you do you got to jerk off in that room because this is mine for 48 hours dammit And if we leave the lotion on the bed, I will just put the no disturb sign up I mean like I can't I always rock the no disturb sign I I do it for the minute I go in there. That's what I do. That's my philosophy in a hotel room I just go and get towels from downstairs And I don't have them come in this guy

He had 16 long guns body armor And ammo in the room. He said, you know what I could also go for a pillow fluff So I didn't put the no disturb sign up and she walks in and she's like, what am I supposed to do clean around Clean around the guns and the ammo So, um, or is it a pay how do you want to do a little conspiracy theory walk planted guns by The police u.s. Government. They plant the guns have them be discovered easily to show look look how hard we're working on stopping mass shooters here You're talking Richard what they did with Richard Reed. I don't know if that's the case here This was at the 8th floor at the maven hotel just two blocks away from mile high park

And of course they're hosting the mid-summer classic there. Yes. We were just there Interestingly enough and this is a little bit different from paddock three men and a woman were arrested and charged with weapons possession In connection with the cache Three of the suspects were previous offenders girl boss. Yeah girl boss and three of them were also charged with intent to distribute drugs Um one suspect a recent divorcee had posted a message on facebook saying quote Go out that is quote. He would like to quote go out in a big way So, uh, thank god that this hero woman

Was able to find that is huge all of these guns. They didn't name the hero made She's humble, but she is very sweet and wonderful Yeah, she's actually probably best not to be named because then she's just gonna the poor woman's gonna end up getting her ass That's what's beautiful about the fucking internet room. Yep. So anyway, whoever you are housekeeper Who saved countless lives that we'll never even know At the maven hotel near Coors fleet field. You are hero of the week. Thank you for doing what you do That's fucking crazy. Well good. I'm glad we got to keep an eye out Look for those guns steward stewardess and hotel maids man. They are the front line of defense in this country. Basically if the government's not

Going to take care of us. We have to take care of ourselves. It's up to us people get out there We got a police everyone around us as it should be. Okay, George Lieberman. Let's call All right, here we go. I got a share. I got some letter. I got some letters from listeners. Okay Your discussion about the butt bandit and his Vaseline artistic statements reminded me of my time working at a fairly well-known art gallery in east london The gallery is in a rough part of town And we'd have a lot of local eccentrics and whole and houseless people who would use it as a dry quiet space out of the pollution A totally natural consequence of having one of the very few free to access spaces in town. Absolutely

I worked on shifts with four or five other gallery and invest in vigilators in vigilators. You know, what the hell that is That's a British thing. That's a British thing. Let me look that up. I'll find you guys all make you read it I can do this. I can do this crack research for you. Don't even worry about it We would rotate through rooms every half an hour and guard the art from the public Which who are much more touchy-feely than you'd think I can't believe it there's a kind of a Okay, I got it Uh, in infill in infill later is a British. Uh, it is to supervise students at an examination

Oh, it's like a proctor. It's basically like a Fancy name for a security guard kind of and they make about 20,000 pounds a year. Oh, great. Well, congrats It was kind of a domino effect when it was time to move rooms You'd be relieved by the room adjacent to you and then move on to relieve the next person This meant any news spread through the staff like a game of telephone One evening my manager comes to relieve me and says by the way, there's been an incident I wondered why it hadn't been radioed through until he said Security try to remove a guy and he's pissed on the floor in protest

He shows me a CCTV footage of the pisser It tells me to keep an eye out in case he sneaks in again The gallery closed later that evening and we all went home exiting out the back entrance entrance next to a communist library This was the first night shit was discovered on the next on the doorstep of the staff entrance A neat human turd was keeled up was curled up the protest had escalated Over the next few weeks more and more shit would appear Sometimes in the front doorstep sometimes at the staff entrance the legend of the white chapel night shitter was born A protest artist working in the medium of his own feces. That's interesting

We never find out why the night shitter was kicked out in the first place But I'll never forget his face from that grainy cct that grainy cctv footage. Okay. Well, very interesting indeed Um, now this is a disgusting story great Long time listener me and kiss will have the same birthday, but I think I'm two years older than him Congrats july 21st 1979 that would be his mind's july 21st 1981 39 and olden. Yes. Oh my god. Anyways back in oh my god only a week So close. I'm holding for one more week. Mm-hmm. Oh god. Yep. Yep, then you'll be pissing never holding again So 2004 2005 I had a buddy who was into collecting movies and picks off the internet

It was mostly through news boards at the time as where I lived in vancouver our isp had really high bandwidth limit Oh, that's into a few years later when their news group server died and since then it's been already It was already old tech. They'd ever replaced it He downloaded or so all sorts of pick sets and since it was on the news servers They were all compressed files. So you didn't really know what you got until you downloaded all the compressed files and unzip them Uh-oh Well, he thought it'd be funny to email me and my girlfriend now my wife who is extremely snake phobic a picture of a man holding what is a very large 10 to 15 foot long python or boa constrictor in his arms

With his fully erect penis inserted into the snake's vagina or cloaca where asshole whatever the fuck snakes have Let me tell you it was one of the single most disgusting things. I've ever seen My girlfriend was so fucking horrified and angry that that was pretty much the end of the friendship Uh, so let me just add that I was going to school for visual effects at the time And I can recognize a photoshop job and this was not a photoshop job. So it's okay That's well, you know, you're just a friend trying to make you laugh a little bit. I don't recommend doing that with a snake though Wow, man. Also, it's just but someone said another letter about a woman getting uh Watching and in meth den and a meth

Meth sort of a situation watching another man pleasure a woman with a snake. That's something fun Okay, because out there goes up and down her church Um, and this is another this is another penis breaking story and then you know what next week We won't do as many penis breaking stories. I just think it's it's relatable Yeah Um, a fury a fury a few years back. I broke my penis in the same exact way as the fellow you spoke about who supposedly made in medical history This is the thing about ripply's too. Remember that guys is that you may have broke broken some kind of record But if they don't know no one knows you had to sign the paperwork

How many people in this world records that we'll never know because they didn't never know proper channels So my wife was on top when I came out and bang I felt the pop and I checked it out. I had a light bruise going all the way around the in the middle So the next day I wake up for work and it felt a little weird, but not painful Walk the mile and a half to work at usps to start delivering my route. Damn you Everything was good. It's a great job, man. I love those guys. Thank you for delivering all the packages Oh, yeah Everything was good for a couple hours until I went to take a piss at a business I was delivering to

When I whipped it out, it was the color of an eggplant and three times the normal size Oh, my I drove back and told my supervisor. I had to go to the hospital And when he asked why he said I broke my dick last night The look on his face was priceless Upon reaching the urgent care the doctor was shocked when he saw it Once a urologist heard the details. I was scheduled for emergency surgery They fix it by making an incision All the way around the head and de-gloving the skin

All the way down the shaft After they stitch up the rupture, which my doctor said was two centimeters long They then pull the skin back up and stitch it to the head The pain The pain is fucking unreal He said the worst part is you still get morning wood And it's the most excruciating erection that you can fucking imagine He says all good now, and he believes he gained a half inch of dick

Wow, look good for him Holy fucking shit. I'm in pain. That is the gold at the end of the broken dick rainbow Oh, let's do we'll do a new round of letters. Send something with aliens or ghosts in it Just for a second. You know what I mean? Something new something fresh But I love to really get in there and be with the public Absolutely. We'll be careful when you're in the midst of coitus. Sometimes you're not thinking clearly and uh And the dick has a mind of its own It does and it can be really it can be really very too adventurous. Yes, it can. All right, everyone

Well, thank you so much for listening to this episode of side stories. We did it again, you fuckers I want you to go and go to our fucking live show, man. It's gonna be better than this Uh, yes, it's different than this entirely We're gonna have a good show get out there parable go to last podcast and left com to get the tickets to all of the live shows I believe we're close to being sold out and a couple of them. Chicago, st. Paul go get them We're so excited to see you. We got a new show. Uh, we just released more dates Uh, I heard some people yelling about phoenix. We're coming to you. We're coming to st. Louis We are very very excited. Uh, it can't wait can't wait to get drunk and and this is all I'm just excited to be healed

From the last weekend after this week and then I'll be ready to get drunk again Absolutely. All right. You got a triple L at Henry. Yeah, you got to you got to live every day like Live every day like Sunday morning when I woke up so relieved to not be tripping anymore Um, you gotta love the cogency that comes with understanding How much work you have to do in a work week while you're hungover in the middle of a six hour drive stuck in traffic at 125 Degrees outside you're walking you know for a fact that you got to get back because there's so much work and meanwhile You are might be shitting tiny little bits of blood And you just got to get there and then you but you don't want when it comes down to it because you're with your buddies

And you made good memories. You got to laugh. You got to laugh All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening. Hope you're happy and healthy and safe out there And uh, yeah, we'll let you know uh follow us on instagram and everything because we'll also be in uh in weeding very very soon And then uh, I believe it's sara. We're gonna be coming to that dispensary at some point Also, big thing is to know you're gonna hear a commercial for it. We got new kofi less podcast on the left with spring hill jack It's our mothman red eyed blend. I've been drinking at my home. It's gonna fucking energize you It's gonna make you shit your pants. It's everything that you need. It's great. Absolutely. All right, everyone Thanks for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail sultan. Magusta lashant

Magusta lashant also vegas is wide open. If you want to go, uh, have a fun weekend with friends. Send me a doctor This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com