Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Pee-Pee Man & Dr. Pooper

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime stories including: a "Urine Attacker" wreaking havoc on dog walkers in Chicago, the unhinged Aunt accused of biting Paramedic's groin in South Carolina, fake Space-X student caught in lies - slaughters parents, yet another traffic stop leads to discovery of human body parts, Twelve Tribes Cult under investigation for devastating Colorado wildfires, the Russian Rapper murdered & dismembered by estranged Spouse, and MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories All right, oh god, do you feel good? I do feel good. I'm on my I'm on day 11 of my dry Jan aka super stoned 2022 People were people noticed how stoned you were in the last episode. I wasn't shown to the last episode I don't do drugs or drink before the shows. This is work. No, I'm at work. I even my cubicle You're gonna be defensive of me But I also will say because you know what I did last night was I I woke up to stone two because it's the tincture It's that god well that is what I over the tincture because my feet felt like clouds

I couldn't feel them anymore and I was more messed up as if I had some bottle of vodka But I technically again did what I thought was right which was drink a full bottle of blue tincture But it's too much last time I last night I went to go sit to watch that movie. Lum. Have you seen the movie? Lum Lum I don't know it's lamb. It's lamb, but I've been called Because you wouldn't tell a lump is the name of 2025. This is Lum Zabrowski. This is our new daughter I could be anything so I became a hamburger. Oh, well, isn't that wonderful? I actually did talk to my goddaughter and of course you're doing a fun little parent even of children

But I did talk to my goddaughter and she does want to be a draft Well, good fucking luck because there's some jobs out there right now Um, especially for a dream for a draft last night. I was watching Lum the movie and I went I took all of this tincture Um, and again, I woke up this morning. I had a lot of stuff I had to do this morning My eyes were bloodshot and I was obviously still stone. What is in this shit? I must be using too much. They say one dropper is like one milligram I don't think that that's true because I use three droppers. Well, I realized I had about 500 milligrams by the time

I was too late It was too late But anyway had a fantastic day on sunday watching football with edward larson support everything eddie does We love you eddie. Welcome to side stories everyone. I am ben hanging out with henry Yeah, right here right next to me and you were so high that you ret con the entire story of terry schiva when people got really upset Oh my god, terry schiva gone too soon. No, she's gone too late I always say if I could be terry schiva for a day I would like to be terry schiva

You know what she had a heart attack for your new or a brain thing She had a heart attack might have been a brain thing. I now we know this she collapsed They didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't slip in the shower She didn't slip in the shower her husband valently fought to end her life. Yes, but is that okay? So this is because she was sitting in a hospital bed She was relaxing she was lying down She only had hat when they opened up her skull trip trip When they finally got to get into her body when she was dead, which they were so excited to do

They carved up her head first, right? This is a great first day. They went straight to her head They carved that thing in fucking half and what they found in the center of her head was literally You know, they do cartoons where they show like the skull and like a little pee goes bing bong bing bong Like that's your brain is left. That is all that was left of her brain was like a teaspoon There wasn't enough left for her to be a lady anymore Well, I mean who cares about her being a lady in the streets or a lady in the sheets church used her as a symbol of like God ain't done with you yet. God was not done with her yet because God has God made her a paperweight. Yes, and he does have big money in farm. He does have big money in farm

Well, this is a fun way to start a politician So apparently yes, apparently she died of some kind of heart attack or she had a heart attack Then she had brain damage I still concede that the family wanted her alive, right? And then the boyfriend in my home. I grew up husband the husband I grew up very religious. I know so in my home She was the enemy. Yeah, but yes, that's right. So you were a victim of propaganda that got put into your head at that age I was already in college at this age. Yeah, you were way past it. I was way past it I was like you didn't even think about this. You haven't thought about this until 10 years ago before after it already happened

Well, I find I filled out my my thing What my uh, my oh, will you be resuscitated? I said I said initially I said after two weeks pulled a plug That's what I said. Yeah, but now I say give me a couple of months Well, that's what I'm saying. Terry Shiveau had nine years. She had the entire fucking uh, the entire career of bojaxon They should have played she was Oh, but not even because she was still like up staring and they're like, I think God's looking through their mirror eyes And then there was nothing going on there. There was nobody home Well, just because there's nobody home. Do you burn down the house? Yes

Okay Or move in and guess what if you're moving into terry shiveau You're going to jail because as you have in sex with a person who can't say yes a peefer brain um Season one episode one friends started boom by the time they get to the duck if she's not out of it If that doesn't piss you off enough Pull the plug then you pull the plug and that's my thing So you if we watch put wrestling on, you know, sure and then when the attitude era ends if i'm not like, can you please turn this off?

Then it's gone. He's gone too far. You've now set it into a microphone So now people know that that's what your wishes are which is what cherry shiveau could have done We could not regret more messing up that story. No that nobody cares about Seven 18 years later. No, no, no, we but you see Years later isn't that amazing you see we went we educated ourselves. I educated me and I then educated you Okay, I know you did educate me and thank you because this is the reeducation that the liberals have been planning for a long time Yeah, now i'm going to teach you all about the pleasures of your butthole So yes, apparently it was terry shiveau's family that wanted to get some money because they're terry's legal guardian

Yeah, they were trying to get money. I'm sorry The family was trying to get money that was awarded to terry's legal guardian her husband To cover the health costs because he had a girlfriend at the time because she was like honestly the coolest girlfriend in the world Yeah, because she was sucking his dick even though she he had a fight for this woman that was like He didn't know anymore. It's been he was basically single at that point. She's just there But yes, he had terry's money. They got mad. Are you cucking you're cucking terry now? You're gonna cuck her So he's gonna be what if I do like that female cuck stuff. Yeah, of course you do But it's also I feel yeah

I mean this may be inappropriate to say But if you were making love to another woman in front of terry and that's what got her to respond Then you can thank the magic of cucking thank the magic, but it didn't happen Well, it sounds like it couldn't have happened because it sounds like the brain was a little shriveled up. She was not ready to go anymore Well in my house, but it's very life was precious. Yes And uh, I think would you kill bugs? My uh, oh my didn't kill a bug. I won't kill bugs. I mean, I'll kill a frickin bug I'll kill a cockroach. I'll kill a cockroach. The cockroach is coming from my spot. I'll kill a mosquito. I'll slap a fly

Of course flies are difficult. Yeah, I don't give a crap about a frickin bug I mean if it's like a beautiful prey in mantis. I say you do you didn't you see me? Do you see a bug? No, I see a human being. Wow. All right. Well speaking of seeing human beings. What do we all do? We all see human beings unless we're blind That is very and then we feel human beings. Oh god. Yeah My favorite fucking what I gotta wish conspiracy. Well conspiracy's getting kind of fun again a little bit But one of the favorites is steve wonder's not blind I watched an entire youtube video last month about it and they were like he like caught something

I said like how did you do it? But I think like daredevil. There is some truth. I think he's got very good motor skills He does. I think he's got good motor skills. I think he can hear balls in the air If you can feel them whizzing close to him, but he did do one time where he you know, it's like he's singing a song He's like love your red shirt, but I think that he Also does that as a bit he someone has a red shirt If you're at a steve wonder concert in the front row, everyone looks like ken bone Someone has a red shirt. So yeah Yeah, that is honestly that is so brilliant. Oh, yeah, you just always throw it out in the front. No, it's funny as hell

That's funny as hell. He like someone always like he did a bit once where it was like someone needed a picture And it's like I'll take it and they gave it to him. It's like oh you took a bunch of pictures of his feet and stuff You know, he knows he's having fun with it Well, either way This is a story right up your alley, henry in chicago again We had the dude who was just pegging people with eggs man We are we're going to chicago in march and there's so much activity going on in chicago I feel like I'm gonna need to bring a helmet and a slingshot

You look like rick moranis from uh, what is it honey? I shrunk the kids Um, so anyway, there's a dude in chicago now. He said uh enough with the eggs that's been played out So he said I'm gonna do something no one's ever seen do you see the women that he threw that he did this to? Oh, I don't want to say that they're very unhappy So anyway, the guy ended up just throwing a bunch of piss everywhere. He threw it through the people's faces And so the thing is and that is really if I am walking I would just say sir Can you not also? He targeted women that were walking dogs, which I think is inappropriate this this guy is interesting

He's a man. We know this guy is actually a little bit dangerous. He's weird. This guy's weird So this is happening in the andersonville of chicago Just so andersonville neighborhood of chicago if you are there Again much like we did with the fucking uh with our egg man. Yes with the chicago The chicago egg man the scrambler like once we like exactly what we did with him you keep your head in a swivel So it's a guy. He's mass. So he's responsible And so he's out there this woman her name is andrea vasquez and i'm gonna tell you she does look mean But she there's no reason she doesn't deserve it. She's upset

I got sprayed in the face with piss when she was a deer hunter so going into the woods Not to get smelled She was walking down the street with her dog and she said she looked up But she saw she said she looked up to smile at the man walking by see that is the midwest Hello, we don't get that in the west coast the east coast They will cut off your johnson If you even think about smiling you're saying good day never look I never respect But the midwest hello, so she gives the non smile

And then she did like and then she said the look a rage in his face and just the way his eyes looked All right, um, chicago the look a rage in his face and just the way his eyes looked It's a little massachusetts fuck chicago, but that's good a diverse diverse diverse that look a rage in his face There we go We got the kabasa mouth going now just the way his eyes looked He had a large cup in his hand and just as he was pissing me He threw the contents of it into my eyes and I yelled to help and just because my eyes were burning I couldn't see and I dropped my phone which is true because she went she immediately went to flush her eyes

She had no clue what it was. No, it could have been it could have been worse like acid Absolutely, and then when the 911 guy came they called the guys the emt came and she's like what is it? What is it and the guy literally he's like let me see That's urine He did it with the smell test That's how he knew it was pee. Oh, was he a raccoon? He's done this multiple times. Yeah So then she had to she said she had to flush her eyes out and then listen to this So another woman she came like she saw this guy, right? This is really scary, right?

So she saw the guy he came at it with a cup. She he chased her She said she ran down the street He threw urine at the back of my jacket. It got in the back of her jacket He was running and running and then she said that he went to the police station First to file a complaint against her Claiming that she sent her dogs on him to attack him when she showed up to the police station To say like hey, no like this man threw peepee on me and then you're like well Cordon is the cording the guy who rank a peepee. He said that you had his dogs attack him

Um, that's what is so interesting is it seems like everyone in the area knows who this man is they might know because she says That he typically attacks at night. Yes, and they followed up with the police Yes, a lot of people have gotten it the police officer called her back and he said Uh, that he told us that story so they had to let him go Because they told him the story about how he Supposedly attacked she attacked him with her dogs. Let's just say there's a lot going on in chicago right now, right? Sure, there's a lot of violence happening in the city and maybe yes, they're they're gonna lose the bears

They are gonna like what doesn't doesn't work out. Oh really they're gonna lose the bears Yeah, the dude was like we're gonna just gonna get out of here if you don't but the police are saying like oh, you know We we're gonna get around to it But then you know these a couple people I understand they're like no one's responding to our calls The police are making reports, but they're not coming out to do anything right because again I imagine shit's busy in chicago again. They could send one guy you could send one New guy like a new private guy a rookie out there to handle the pp case, right? If this was stevens point wisconsin the town I grew up in this is gonna be

Almost top of the list like the police are gonna be on this right away, but again, obviously no bullets were exchanged no robberies were made Pp it sucks, but is it gonna kill you although nowadays god knows what kind of infections you could get you could get killed from it Perhaps who knows we're actually putting an open wound what we need here is a hero We need a mr. Pooper we need we need the pooper to come and meet the urine man And we need the pooper to let him know nobody. I don't know. I think we're gonna that's a that's a suicide squad right there That's a bad bad versus urine man. That's a villain team. No pooper and pee pee man I think the pooper could flip

You know you look at batman We never talk about the day after when he has to pay all the bills for all the buildings he destroyed Oh, he doesn't all the people and then well he has I mean can you imagine the class action lawsuits with all the families that Lost people because I was in the sitcom about this There was a sitcom about superhero insurance that was done a couple of years ago And it didn't make it were you gonna be dressed as a caveman as well? Was it brought to you by progressive? No It was all just a shot. No. No, it was a real show. I actually think it sounds fun But basically no, it would have been fun, but it didn't happen

Well, this did happen. So the man is just out there. So what doesn't happen shows don't happen careers don't happen But men sprain other people in the face with the urine that does happen It does happen pee pee man and dr. Pooper are gonna get together. They're gonna form a team It's gonna be bad. I don't think they're gonna like each other who we need is captain adult diaper Yeah, that's right. We need diaper man Put a diaper on him because that's what happens We need to contain but then they're gonna slam the diaper in someone's face like the movie the visit which is one of the

gross seeds of all time But it's good. It's good. Oh, unless you're the guy that says like no, sir No, don't throw it on that hapless woman throw it on me Maybe so you're thinking they should reinstate constables. Hmm. That might actually be fun Deputy I think if someone yelled at an american with a british accent I do think just innately we will listen. That's what this is what I've been saying about casting directors for years Yeah, they all think they're just fancy and impressive They don't think they got tea running in their veins, but I tell you what I know this from experience

They have blood blood just like us. Yep, british blood. It's thinner Absolutely grosser probably smells like fish except for the wonderful women over there. Well, you can't wait to be over in the uk I don't know what's gonna happen this year Technically we might be there in the fall, but I have no clue what's gonna happen again. We have no idea. So anyway Be careful. I don't really know what else to tell you and if someone comes at you with a cup Remember That's just not the way people consume coffee anymore. No coffee is if it doesn't have starbucks You know or a little cans like people don't walk around with the cup. I feel like I would never open up a little bit more more

Normal New York you see a more little paper cup of coffee. It's just without a top on that's suspicious Yeah, it really is and so just go the other Way, um, well, let's move on. Let's let's talk about the ladies Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, so this gal 63 years Fun as henry zebrowski usually says So she is just a wonderful gal out of south carolina and we were in south carolina recently We want to thank this woman for coming to her show. Well, we're so glad she's a fan. She was fantastic Anyway, this 63 year old woman. Her name is jenna darlene mcgee

Oh, that's cute. Oh mcgee. It's an actual it is. That's her actual name The deputies were trying to cuff her up and then apparently she bit a paramedics groin And then she took a swipe at a deputies taser and this is just kind of fun What was it? Just did she just attack them for no reason? What was the lead up to her attacking? Well, mcgee had showed up at the jail and dumped her nephew there after accusing him of looking up Inappropriate images on her cell phone. So the nephew was looking at porno on her cell phone Why are you honestly though? Don't look on your fucking non-news Phone for anything first of all because she also doesn't know how it is and you could also just blame it on papu

um Also, don't drop him off at jail if he does she drop him off There was a time there was a time in this country When parents would call the police. That's a lesson. Oh, yes. So I got that that happened to me Yeah, well your father was officer also an officer. So that helps. But now you realize you just get your child You just ruin your kid's life. Absolutely They just arrest them and then you're like now you're also a bad parent because your kid's in jail Yeah, it's garbage and you're like why do you stitch on your kid? You should be protecting your kid

I really feel especially from the police because when it comes out to it They are not there to make sure your kid's okay. You know what I mean? They're there too right now Maybe one day when they figure out how to add more like Cop therapists or whatever to the actual roster. Maybe they'd be able to help but right now they can't and this woman thought That's just because he was looking at porn that he would had committed a crime Well, apparently She uh She refused to come and get the kid. Yeah, and they were like no you have to come pick up your kid

So that's when they issued a warrant for her arrest interesting So it kind of oh they were ready because I bet you this kid's hysterical He's at the police station. He's wondering what the hell's going on and then like somebody finally was like, what? What why are you here? Especially when she won't come get him and then they go to scooper and she just fucking goes full Like attack mode. She went full John Rambo. I she just all she woke up today this day whatever day it was She did all of this. She did she went to the police station. She dropped off her nephew Who she's the legal guardian of and then she didn't pick them up and then of course what the cops are whatever the cops are gonna do

I don't know you can't just put the kid in jail for looking at porno You can't know and then what do you do if they won't take them back? You got to just get because now that you got this kid here and he's playing with the guns and he's saying stuff like I sure wanted to blow up the world and you're like get this kid fucking out of here Get this kid out of here. It's just a normal middle schooler. Yeah My god, so then she finally showed up after there was a warrant Not to get the kid but to address the warrant and then officers were like you got to cuff up There's a warrant for your arrest and then during the cuff her lesson. Yes, and then during the cuff up

That's when she tried to bite a paramedic's dick off or maybe it was a lady. We don't know who knows you could try to bite her pussy Yeah, sure It's not going to be a full meal as a penis might be but that's okay and then So then she got arrested and then she tried to go for a taser And now she's looking at actual significant charges including third-degree assault Unlawful conduct towards a child and assaulting a police officer while resisting arrest every single bit of this is her fault It is so stupid. That's what she gets

Wow, that's what she gets and you know what because there's a thing about this time period Is that no one I hate to use the term that everyone's using but there's this term that people keep saying I've heard it said before fuck around and find out And that's what she did. She decided to see what happens when you Like why you like she assumed that all of these cops had nothing to do all day and she was correct And then when that happened, right, that's the things that my dad taught me There is nothing worse than a bored police officer because sometimes a bored police officer can have a really fun time

Running up the bill on your legal attitude Whatever that whenever the fuck they want to yes, they can and apparently, you know, it's not an equal relationship So once McGee he Gina Darlene McGee he was in the back of the car Do you know what she did in the back of the squad car what she do? She tried to hold her breath and pass out I'm proud of her now. I'm starting to like her She would be swiping for tasers biting groins again We don't know if it was a gallery date and then she's in the back of the squad car She acts like molly shannon and superstar like she's like puts her arms

But like what are you doing? I don't even know how you could choke. I don't know if you can make yourself She doesn't have hands to use. She's fucking she's Technically she would have been a really really good ally during the revolutionary war. She really would have so anyway if you're the nephew More porno more porno. Oh, you know you're jerking off that afternoon Um, now oh my gosh jerking off in the afternoon. There COVID is offered It's offered a lot of people opportunities to change careers to try any things to you know and work from home Do this type of you know, except that no one likes, you know, but When it comes down to it, I feel like there's one thing that is truly a part of the quarantine experience that I've treasured

which is um People faking the whole life while home And sure have you heard this? There's the avatar though. This is this is what we're going towards Meda. Meda can suck my fucking dick. I'm not joining in any way shape or a lot of people are going to be a good luck Okay, but when I predicted by the way on abling's top app for predictions for 2022 that we're going to see a In real in our world. We're going to see a court case of sexual assault And meta it might happen and I think it's that's one of my predictions for this year. It's the future And we all knew it was going to be weird. It is it's getting there. It's now baby. We're really doing it

It's well, but this story I love, uh, but this is this is really fun A man they used to turn man very useless very loosely here a boy allegedly a human with a dick Yes, he allegedly fabricated a spacex job offer then dismembered parents when they discovered his quote-unquote web of lies Now, oh man, this story gets a little complicated and it's fun Um, now this is 23 years old this guy named Chandler Halderson. Of course his name was Chandler So the past year or so he's been living at home because he whatever he's with his parents. This is very very fairly normal But it's father. I think that you're right about the name Chandler, but it's strangely enough I think it gets a pass because people love the four mentioned friends Chandler bank

I think it's a problem because Chandler bings a funny sarcastic man on television, but in real life Name Chandler. Yeah, it means that you you're a date rapist We just don't know that. I actually don't know until the illegally. I need to cover that Absolutely and say I don't know if every Chandler has done bad things Right, and so just people his father Bart Halderson. I mean in his and his mother, right? Maybe they believed That we're gonna be a little harder on our son. Yeah, there's a lot of 23-year-olds living at home However, you know you and I were both out of the house that time. We were just like I gotta go. Yeah, I was like bye. Bye But Chandler, um

Bart Halderson said I think you should be paying rent right to live here And that's fine. He told his family that he told that I was he was working remotely for a Wisconsin insurance company While finishing up his college community coursework from from his room, right? Okay, and he'd get up every day early and he'd go in there and he'd be like go working hard today Or hardly working like doing the whole thing, you know drinking big gulps of coffee He would go into a room in that in his parents house in his room, right? Even back in the day you had to go to the bus stop You had to go to the train station at the verlies to starbucks get to sit there for eight hours

Yes, and that's almost when you were pretending to have a job exactly. Yeah, but no he did it right from the comfort zone home Wow, and then his life appeared to be like it was gonna everything was gonna change because he said he told his parents Hey, I've been hired by SpaceX and we're moving to florida and then him and his girlfriend were like, yes We're gonna go, you know, um, and it was all Absolutely fake. He was spending his whole day playing video games home inside of his house, right? And then his dad kept being like, well, I thought we talked about you maybe um You paying rent, you know and you're behind a couple months and he's like it's coming It's coming. I'm having all these problems. But this thing is don't you have a job?

And he's like, yeah, they're having all these like Problems with like paying me, but I trust these guys. I trust these employees. Of course you can trust elan musk Nothing, that's a trust there, but the problem here is as we learned from holder mcnealy um roundtable and page seven and wisbrough um, you can make money Sitting on the platform playing video games. He could have been streaming. He could have actually still made. Oh, yes He could have been streaming. He could have done so many things

250 bucks a month probably nothing and then but this is the thing is that he kept going This is it gets really really intense because he created and fabricated dozens of email exchanges Between himself and college administrators because it's so hard to do guess what he also was lying about college Yep, he flunked out in the first month fine and so but he didn't tell anybody he kept telling them when he was going to school, right? So he first of all he created all of these fake email exchanges between him and college administrators, right? And then he even posed as an advisor on a call to his own father He left the house. He bought a burner phone from the mall called his father on another line and did the

Mr. Halter said you Chandler is simply a gift. He's simply a gift in the classroom Like he did that thing is he that seems like so much work It's so much work if there was a class being like this is how you commit fraud like he passed it He did and he also he created a fake paper trail of emails with the HR company of the fake Job he was doing to show his dad being like you see dad like it's all over the place We know and then when he found out like he told everyone hours of work Days of work so much harder than working at like Burger King for a little while like just like getting some cash They're just like working in a place and then he came up with this idea that we're going to go to SpaceX

And then honestly, I guess how it came down to it is that he finally said he's like, I think something's going on here Um to the father called the college And he said, uh, how does my son do and I need to look at all these records Like we have no record of your son being here none of us here none of those teachers He talked about it exist here and then what he did is that he tried to get out Of dealing with any of his parents by throwing himself down a flight of stairs and said I have a head injury I can't do it. This guy's a fucking maniac. He's totally he's a handsome young man. He's totally able body There's no reason why he shouldn't be out there working. Oh, yes, he looks just like a normal dude

Just get a job, bro I mean, I don't know what happened But then when the SpaceX thing finally the SpaceX thing happened they kept saying like what's going on what's going on And it's like aren't you going to start work? He's like it's coming. It's coming And then they came home from work one day and he shot Barton the head with the rifle He waited for his mom to come home. He shot her in the head Jesus He cut up both of their bodies and then what he did was he spent weeks

Distributing parts of their bodies around the neighborhood. So no one knew nobody knew and then what he did was go He went to his girlfriend's house who's whole like he's literally like I thought we were moving to Florida And he's like soon maybe soon, but I know he she was she left town for a thing and he Contacted his own girlfriend's parents and said hey Is it possible if I just like go in the pool today by myself and they're like sure whatever he goes over to his to her girlfriend's parents house and Put spotty parts in their backyard where he's and he's covered in blood He's got a wood chipper like all this fucking shit and they're all like cargo. Oh Chandler's really busy today

Like he's really cool. He's really going. This all takes place in Wisconsin. Obviously MATC Uh, I was almost about to go to school there. Oh, wow It's really easy to fake you went there. Uh, it was it's very easy to get into it's a two-year tech college That's where you go after your grades ain't so good in high school. Yeah, you got to go get them up Oh, yeah, you got to go to the community college there or the tech college So, uh, anyway, he did a lot and now he is going to work his entire life In prison in borderline slave labor slave labor making windows and apparently it's not going to work out for him because When they got him on the night of july 1st the day he apparently murdered them

So they think it was when they found an app on his phone the notes app a note on his phone that said buy buy hydrogen peroxide Buy a lemon and the directives clean floor and get a job Just get the job. No, man. Oh my lord He chumps get jobs He killed his family. Oh, right. Well, there you go. Speaking of which speaking of body parts Another story of a dude who was pulled over and then they found a bunch of human like they found two human legs at a human torso Get rid of them. This dude is eric holland. He's charged with murder But again, he did what the people did uh previously in a previous story

He said that he stole the car and it's not his body. He did not have Wait a second. You guys think this is my car? Yeah, you're crazy. You're crazy. I would never drive a uh, what is this even? A hard day in salonda They found a severed head legs and torso. I'm what this woman say Number one are people the victim of course great if you're going to dismember the body You don't keep it all together. No, you should immediately distribute point. Yeah, you should be getting rid of it You should be technically you should the body part should leave you should get a tub and you should dissolve them in acid Yeah, it was also it was a gold Chevy avalanche

Uh, that's what yeah, I could see an avalanche having a bunch of body parts in it Yeah, oh actually hold on so the officers chased the driver through the streets of vegas The department air's units tracked the truck from above the air unit saw the man get out of the Toyota tundra With the suspended registration then he jumped into the Chevy avalanche And then when officers tried to stop the he sped away again And then they approached the truck And then that's when they discovered the human remains So my question is is it possible that he just did he actually steal?

We'll find out We found another story was horseshit. They found it in the coolers Which is kind of nice that they kept the bones on ice the body on ice I mean, it sounds like if they had body if they were in coolers and kept on ice And truly they were meant to be they were trying to be they were being sold Um, the victim was Richard P. Miller. He was 65 and believe it or not. His death has been ruled a homicide. No way Yeah, that wasn't a suicide. I thought that was allergies. Yeah. Well, it looks like there's charging mr. Holland So there you go. That's what happens, man. You got to be careful even if that was because he stole a car

That's what happens. Yeah, Holland's public defender p david westbrook He tells uh people magazine. It doesn't make sense that his client would leave authorities with body parts If you would have known that there were body parts in the stolen truck, you're right He's correct. Do you feel like there should just be cars around for people to use? Do you remember? What was that that service that used to pay used to go and like rent a car for a day and you can just like park it You'll do that like zip z zips of my car. Why don't we why don't we have more of that with like this should be open shitty cars That people can just use called bait car

No, you're just talking about But not for not for nefarious things are the bus people for crime. It's not a book from a library. No one's gonna return it No one's returning it unless it shuts off after a period of time Oh, that's a very good you put a governor in it because people need a car sometimes Because and like someone like me and everyone says like in bank I can't ride a bike because I was too smart as a child to learn Absolutely, so prosecutors must prove that Holland knew that the body Was in the truck and that he actually caused the death. I don't know who knows

It will probably be very difficult for them to do that. He's a big boy It definitely looks like you could probably uh dismember a corpse or two dude. Did you see this? Be careful out there. Uh, make sure that you wake up in the morning Left leg right leg left arm right arm and if you can't feel him you got diabetes. That's okay though, too Um, but this uh, this story is going to develop over the next couple of weeks And I'm really I'm really interested to see where it goes. This is about a shed fire on a land of a cult It's caused a devastating colorado blaze that destroyed 1000 holes and you can see the shed on fire There's some video that shows that the shed that is on the land of a cult by the name of the 12 tribes now

The 12 tribes is really interesting and I did a little bit of a read up on them They're very similar to the jesus people These are people about the idea of going back to the quote-a-quote 12 tribes That existed of jewish people back in the day that black israelites. Is that is this part of that? They say they're one, right? Maybe but his idea of like it's some guy. I got him eugene spits or sprigs I ain't following no one named eugene. You really can't man because I need a cult leader He's got to change his name. I need to be like zanzibar. Exactly. Have fun with it. Is it eugene sprigs? Eugene sprigs eugene sprigs sounds like he would be a fantastic running back in college

eugene sprigs So, yeah, so it's rama's guy named Eugene sprigs who is exactly what you think he is he's got a long beard He looks like a fucking asshole His whole thing is he wouldn't be an asshole if I he would look like a sci-fi writer if he wasn't an asshole But he is an asshole. Well, they could be as you could also You know to be fair Might be grumpy. They might be I might be they can they have a tendency to be sometimes

Sure, well, they're alone a lot. The idea is to get rid of all like every single church is heretical But there's obviously they need to create the world Or that they can create of their own which is 144,000 chosen people. There'll be a lot of going to heaven. They'll be part of the 12 drives Yep, that's what they believe in that it should be part of these 12 drives They need to be reinstated and the main things that they believe in is heavy corporal punishment for children up to the age of 18 That's great. Um, and just like the jesus people they dissolve families So like the kids are all communally raised. Nobody knows who's anybody's father. They're all named one

Jewish name like one Hebrew name. Okay, and that's it. It's like Benjamin Like yes, but they stripped all their last names from them So nobody knows they don't belong to anybody and um, you know, there's definitely some suck suck and a little bit of suck He's like, I'm sure whatever every will look I don't the ingredients are there. Yes, and they also believe that black people should belong to white people um, and that The jewish people are wrong as well, and they're the only people that are correct That's how you know that they are incorrect when they say is everybody else incorrect

They really yes, they ended themselves into a total and other shit show Yes, and these guys now are but the the goal is for them to live forever in the past and simple times where they just like You know, they just eat butter and they run a store called the yellow deli lies that we have ever heard This is the simplest time. I know it's dramatic and traumatic because all of a sudden we have to look at this goddamn thing That i'm holding this product that's made from hell But it is easier now to eat. The thing from hell at least sends me a burrito a burrito from the sky Everyone cars work for the most part planes don't crash for the most part for the most part trains I don't know. I i'm strange or maybe worse often. Yes, but back in the day you to wake up

You had a chairman. What was the last time you thought about making butter? Hmm I watch a lot of cooking channel cooking channel has the higher level shows that food network doesn't have anymore I do think we might live in a more stressful time. Oh very stressful and also harder I don't think it's harder. No, but this is constantly I had this idea that we have to get rid of the modern world because it destroys everything It doesn't necessarily especially when you create your new little past world your little renfest world that you live in And all you do is suck and fuck all these kids. Oh, man. I can't wait to go to a renfair. I'm doing it

This year this year, but you can't suck or fuck a child in a renfair even though it's the 1300s when you're there That good grief. I just want to go to a renfair in that time period when you go No, I understand that also if I was in that time period, I would also say sir That is bad We also you'd be led around by a bunch of leather straps and never been like it comes the big It comes the big and people would just like throw like fruit at you and shit But that's what they better to honor me. Hmm to honor me No, I always have a dream

I would like to be if I could go back and I could choose one position that would be executioner Yeah, it would obviously you'd be a very scary know if because remember when we covered the executions. Yes, they get paid And it seems like nobody hates them. Well, it depends on if you're good or if you're bad I'm because the good ones people liked you've been skilled, which means that you kill people painlessly. That's what I want to do But every time you talk about your fantasy of killing it always involves people screaming No No, I always I always think more of a slash. Yeah, that's what it happens. Yeah, you can't scream without a throw without a knack Yeah, unless you're slitting your neck like you're fucking snake. What's his name for metal gear solid? Oh, yeah

I'm a Jason guy. You know me. I'm a Jason Michael Myers kid. They all just screamed and ran from him Well Yeah Yes, but that that's your fantasy. No That's their reaction Wow, I know I didn't make them scream. So what you're saying is if you run with the hockey mask at people Like this is the thing where we let people say like it's not really what happens to you It's how you react to what happens to you

That's right. So what you're saying is them seeing you with the machete chasing them through the woods them screaming and running That's on them. That's their decision. I didn't make them scream So they should just stand in front of you and quietly accept death If they didn't want to scream Hmm. Yeah It would make my day a lot easier. Am I a bug to you? No All right, so anyway, um, the group has previously been investigated for flouting child labor laws and um

Apparently they're bad. Yeah, they're bad. They're just like the jesus people. They don't act like everything's nice and fine And they're they've been around forever and people have been trying and they've burned six the stupid group of fucking assholes Burned six thousand acres. Yeah a thousand homes. Oh, yes. Just stop Well, they had a group raid for their kids, right in 1984 a bunch of people went and this is out 112 kids Oh, yes, this has been around since the 70s And when they pulled out like 112 kids and then when they pulled them out They had to bring them right back because basically they found out of like it

They didn't have the proper warren or some bullshit and they took that as like you see we do live in a proper society You see they can't touch god's world Well Anyway, all right, so there's that again governor polis Um, who i'm a big fan of there. He said uh, some people will settle elsewhere But those who want to stay in the same school will have to find somewhere nearby for all the parents and all the families That lost their house. Yeah, it's so very sad. All right. Well, there's that story Um, also when it comes to people being chopped up, uh, here's a story from ukraine and it doesn't evolve poop and putin

Uh, this rush is he poop? Uh, probably in cube. Yeah a ukrainian rapper Chopped up and fed to rats by his wife After the ukrainian rapper had an affair with a fan. Yeah, he said he had she would also it's a supposed affair We have no clue, but his rapper name was andy cart, right? And he's from the you he's from the ukraine Andy cart, right is that is such a funny rap name. Why did he choose? Why would he choose a name that isn't a rap name, but it's also funer?

Maybe over there. It's like fun to be like Yo, i'm dj robert sanderson. Like maybe that's fun for them. I don't know like that's that could be foreign to them But yeah, man, this is like fucked up. So The what his wife marina they are now accusing her of cutting up his body and killing him and coming at cutting up his body She's saying he died of a drug overdose and she said I would never want to embarrass him For the whole world to know that he died of a drug overdose

So I had to chop up his remains and place him a bunch of different places Oh, so she did this for him for him. Well, that's that's nice. Um, I don't She's older than him too, which is interesting. She's 37. He's 30 She left him there like and then because apparently she said that he had an affair Um, but they're saying what's weird is that new forensic evidence is suggesting that the dude was still alive when he was being dismembered And that he died of asphyxiation And so we don't know it sounds like he got tortured. It sounds like possibly Uh, it is also accused

Wait, oh my she washed his organs in a laundry machine She cut the tips of his fingers off and fed them two rats So that no one could identify marina is also accused of having sex with alexander Yuzka's dead corpse. Yes. She said well, that's a thing. She's Andy Cartwright So she fucked his corpse, maybe she's saying that she's being slandered by being called a cannibal that all she did was try to Cook his inside so that she could safely get rid of them No, but I mean she tried to chill. Hey, listen I know I know this is why you're having a hard time finding love because you have a hard time accepting what love is

This is what love is. She didn't want him to be embarrassed in hell wherever he lives But it seems it sounds like he was still alive when she was chopping off his bones. She didn't want him to be embarrassed Well, what's more embarrassing than that because he's because uh, he succumbed to a torture murder To have your legs ripped off from you be like, oh god. What is it? You're showing your balls or one of your balls whenever it makes it through This is one of those dreams where I showed up at a test naked. However Authorities say that there is no evidence that she killed him This woman's just gonna go

She's just gonna she's gonna start in Etsy Is that where it is? Andy Cartwright also just youtube some of his music. I haven't heard it yet. I'm sure it's just fantastic Yeah, I have no clue if it's any good or not. I'm sure it is It's just fantastic Fernanda. Can we look it up? Some of this man's music. So this is Andy Cartwright now. We don't I've never heard this before I have no clue what this is and it's all in russian. Okay. Here we go All right, well, it doesn't sound like he deserves to be dismembered Whoa

Dad mom spaghetti your hands are ready. Okay, everybody's out there getting mom spaghetti mom spaghetti Look at that. Well, that was pretty bad I don't know if it's good. I can't tell dude. I have flow Yo Yo, you are I they have to I just feel when I think of russia I think more I think of brick I think of square like boom boom boom like I don't see fluidity. I don't see flow But I'm sure they have to because in my mind. I don't know. I guess I don't know. I know they have like tritic music

I know they have chants Um, I know that um, oh, what was the pussy? pussy group, uh pussy riot. Yep. Was it pussy riot? Yes. Yes. Um, yolandy viscer I think she's been canceled. No, they're south african-south asian. I don't know. I have no idea I don't know russian rap guys send us side stories lpotlg email.com southern explain to us the rap scene of russia, please Absolutely, please let us know is the rap scene of russia. Is it coming along? I would if I had to say what genre of music would russia excel at thrash death metal blood guts heavy heavy sounds

You know, I don't see them really as although Then again, I would like to know their experience through hip-hop. Yes, because I I know it's it's hard. It's a it's a it's a hard life over there It seems very cold and brutal. All right, everyone. Let's do hero of the week This week's hero of the week is a baby donkey This baby donkey is named betty whites. Isn't that nice? So this baby donkey is hero of the week

Look at that baby donkey isn't that nice? So you have so this is it's just a now It's a baby donkey. It's a baby donkey. It's a baby donkey now, of course Betty white died december 31st at the age of 99 99 99. She was not a hundred unfortunately But that's okay because she was able to help this donkey the rescue donkey group wrote on facebook The beautiful little jenay was born on christmas day But we were unable to come up with the perfect name until new year's eve when betty white died That's what What?

I don't even know who's the hero here betty white had no clue that this donkey exists Betty white had supported the group since 2006 and in honor of it's called peaceful valley in honor of her They named it the little donkey betty white Uh betty white was a tremendous voice for animals both here in the u.s. They said and around the world She would be over the moon Who would be betty white? Betty white would be over the moon. I'm gonna you if they uh, if they found out if you Betty white came back to earth and she was like

How did everyone react when I died and they were like well, we named this baby donkey betty white She would be over the moon. She would have pissed herself. She wouldn't fucking over the moon I feel like she might have been like Um, is there a cure? Is there a cure for what happened to me? Not for age. Can I live again? Can I please live again? She can't through the donkey. Yes. She is now. Oh, wow. That's her life now. She's donkeys left. Oh, that's cute Oh, everybody likes a part anyway that baby donkey named after betty white for uh, for no reason other than Sheer, uh, just coincidence coincidence. Enjoy. They just know not even that. They just saw the uh news

Headline and they just aimed her that it wasn't even because they were fans of betty white No, they were fans because she helped them and of course, let's not forget betty white was on the mary taylor more show She was on golden girls go through betty white. We don't need to go through her credits We don't need to talk about it. This is at the memorial At 88 years old an eighth emmy for her hosting of saturday night live. I couldn't have been more compelled by it I absolutely loved it. She authored multiple memoirs if you ask me and here we go again My life in television. Jesus. She has a story to her. Mama mia. Here we go again. Yes. Also. I'd like to give again I mean this week. We lost a devastating

Voice in the comedy world and it's just I can't believe that we say goodbye to it and I just am I'm just so sad We lost Robert Durst And the laughter you just you just did a tweet right here on this show. I won't let the laughter die All right, Robert spell them ever He died Doing just fine. He was he died a fucking jail. Well, you know what happens now, right? What? He's expunged. No, he was he was convicted. No, but once you die unless the appeals process is over They just throw out the case. What so he was convicted of no murder. They're gonna go forward still postmortem

But yeah, no Oh, so he could win the appeal from death That's the he's not a murderer the ultimate rich guy move. Yep. So I believe it's the uh, it's his friend Susan Berman I believe that uh that Uh, conviction does not stand. Well, find out he's getting judged by they might try to begin something or he's just floating You imagine just Robert Durst floating into this I could see it. He probably live in his best fucking afterlife. Fuck that piece of shit. Um, all right. Here we go. Uh, I have some Listener emails

Now I got one. This is a good one. This is a reason why a good answer. Why we talked last week We did the episode about Juana Barraza. Who is the uh, she was a luchador killer Accused of murdering a bunch of people convicted of murdering a bunch of people we threw we said, oh, we're throwing some dope Don't know a bit of a bit of dope. Okay a little bit of doubt But this is actually talking about why the lucha libre community doesn't acknowledge Juana Barraza. Oh great Mexico takes wrestling seriously as a sport so much so that they actually have a regulatory agency It's one of the biggest differences between American wrestling and lucha because the commission does things like licensed wrestlers Make sure that the only one wrestler uses a gimmick at a time

Then once a wrestler uses their mask that they don't start wearing it again Losing your mask comes with a serious payday and some wrestlers tend Try to lose their masks several times for several payouts Though when Ray Mysterio started wearing his mask again after losing it all it took was a well-placed bribe Whoa, okay interesting and establishing the rules now the commission is also in charge of protecting the image of lucha libre Which is probably a hundred percent the reason why they don't talk about Juana A very similar thing happened after it started to look like the death of of the bismo negro was drug related Oh, interesting. So they take it very seriously. I knew that but I didn't realize they had a full regulatory committee

And lucha man, we are going to some lucha underground as soon as we can fucking wait. I can't wait Um, this is a cool ass fucking cryptid sighting. Okay, cool. What kind of crypto we got this talking wheel. It's weird Now this is from pike county, Kentucky By camp this is an isolated cabin and built up on the hill. Oh man. I wish I could teleport there sometimes Now my sighting happened in april 1992 around 7 p.m. Or so It was warm out But it was steadily getting cooler as the day went on and I was sitting outside of my porch when it occurred When I saw on a patch of thick vegetation around the creek was a face

Which I initially believed to be a monkey No more than 50 feet away from me and close to the ground now the face was hairless A dark brown color and creatures eyes were prominent on its head and it was a striking shade of bright yellow Now its mouth Was small and puckered and it defined lips with its nose was highly recessed So in essence what I thought I was seeing was something similar to that of a male orangutan's face Huh, albeit small and with no hair right now I could tell it was truly looking at me with an obvious awareness in its gaze

And I still associate today with intelligent animals like dogs and monkeys I love it So I have to make an eye contact with his creature for roughly 10 seconds It either reared or stood up and I realized I wasn't looking at an ape I guess describing the unorthodox in its own art form, but this is my rough description It was roughly three feet tall and it was roughly uniform in shade of a dark brown similar to that of its head Its head was wider than its shoulders and it was spade shaped And its face was improbably flat

It had a small neck and a stout barrel shaped body covered in wrinkles and its skin was moist and shiny in the sunlight Right now it really stood out to me. That was its arms, which immediately made me realize I was looking at some ape its arms were stubby and reminded me of nothing less than the web clawed paws of an aquatic turtle Webbed and fleshy and sticking out awkwardly from the sides of his body at an angle that I would only assume Would be most useful for quadrupedal movement. Now. I could not see its bottom half From my position as I was standing in thick vegetation But I could only assume that its legs could be no longer than its arm now relatively as the vegetation was probably a half a foot Tall at its deepest point. Okay, right it fled about after 30 seconds

Right and I remember a flash of something long and brown It almost certainly was a tail as it retreated in the greenery now. I never did figure out the exact escape route I know though I didn't hear any splashing noise from the creek now after taking a day to process what I had seen Initially deciding to try and sleep off the encounter sure sleep on it Be sure I spent most of the next day trying to find any tunnels or burrows around the creek which could have provided a method For the creature to flee without leaving any obvious animal sign which turned out nothing except a snake nest Oh, which has been very scary now

I never saw anything like that ever again And I lived on that property for another month with no other incidents of similar nature occurring now I have never personally speculated too much on what I saw friends and relatives I have confided with have given me a whole range of possible answers There's one cheeky friend of mine things. I saw the flatwoods monster It does sound like the flatwoods monster could be right and someone said I saw a member of little people of native american mythology, right? I personally have come to the conclusion that of an intelligent species of amphibian nature Existent apalachia then they most all certainly they most certainly must take advantage of the cave systems in the hill country

Now perhaps the mining industry has caused their inevitable decline or maybe there's been so many of them in the first Maybe they weren't that many of them in the first place Right, so if appearance is alone I couldn't guess what it could eat in fact given how its head appeared to me and how short its neck was I can't imagine how it would walk around in all fours and be able to See straightforward given how flat its face was and how large its heads was in comparison, right? This is fucking wild I posted this story online in a few internet forums But I've never gotten a response which indicated that I wasn't alone and haven't seen something like this

Well, there you go. Good sighting indeed. You never know what creatures Are hanging out in the swamps and here is one of the most cold-blooded stories of revenge I have ever heard for her in a minute. That's great. All right Well, I was at a house party in college An acquaintance of mine was randomly asking if anybody had a dead dog He could have dead dog not a murder dog But a dog who had died of natural causes or what do I have one of those around? I don't know Okay, and maybe he was still on the side of the art school. This is art school. Yeah for sure right now

He wanted it for revenge on his neighbor who owed him some money for yard work and refused to pay him Right, so I caught up with the guy later and I he had found a dead dog Well, now we already find that he doesn't know but he says he's saying that this is what he said So you found a live dog and killed it. I don't know This dude went to a pet smart and bought a leash a collar and a dog tag He had one made and one of the kiosk with his neighbor's name address and phone number on it, right? Oh my god He then attached these items to the dead dog And late at night while the neighbor was asleep

He looped the other end of the leash to the neighbor's bumper and pushed the dog under the truck The next day when the neighbor left for work He was dragging this dead dog behind him making it look like he had left the dog He had tied the dog to the bumper and just forgot about him, right? The queen said he was at home later in the day when the neighbor got home from work And he wanted to approach him to see how his day went right but when he looked outside The dog was still attached to the guy's truck. Oh my apparently the neighbor hand noticed that throughout the day Right, we think he must have backed into his parking spot at work or something whatever no one saw it, right?

The neighbor goes to enter his house at what point he notices the dog and he stops He stares at it for a few minutes confused and then he just removes the dog and leash from the truck And he throws the dog down a storm drain, right? He tries to get rid of the dog Uh-huh So the guy calls the cops on the neighbor So he's watching along he calls the cops and he says that he said I see this guy He threw a dead dog into a storm drain the cops show up to retrieve the dog from the storm sewer They look at the collar knock on the neighbor's door the guy was arrested apparently saying that the whole time he's saying

It's not my dog. It's not my dog. The cops said well, guess what? We've been getting phone calls all day about somebody dragging a dog around or on their truck And we were looking for you all fucking day. So I don't know what happened to this guy beyond that But I decided I should probably not associate with the man who did that thing ever again Well, they just ruined someone's life like the movie dirty work, but there you go But you know what also reminds me of that's national ampoules vacation. Yeah, that is and of course they put grandma on top Well, that is just Those are stories of revenge that I can't even fathom and I got some really good emails about people because I asked a question

Last week about how do people get hired at the CIA and I have some really good answers that I'm going to read next week All right. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. We can't wait to be in texas this weekend And maybe texas p my big big of a Have your cowboy hat still I think is that how do I transport it? You have to bring it in like you have to bring it to the hat case. I know but I have all this other shit with me Yeah, and I can't just wear it because then I'm gonna get fucking beat up Because guess how all you guys are so sensitive about your hats But I'm excited because I mean you and a cowboy hat's fun east common texas p

It's gonna show up really excited for dallas really excited to get around there It's like it's bugging me. Um, so make sure every day live your life Not making somebody tie a dead dog to the back of your truck because I don't know what that neighbor did But then you can love the fact that you pay your bills on time Um, we try not to leave freelancers hanging. No, I know how much that sucks. Yeah to leave your freelancer hanging We know you're looking for that money. You know you're desperate for that money's you're the never with venmo those things come on Tell me how much I owe you make me pay you with the app right the app will make me pay you Right whatever right and then you could laugh

Knowing that not only you were a responsible member of this workforce, right? You're out there. You're paying people hiring people You're not doing all that kind of you don't get help people get a leg up. Sure right now But also you don't have any dog blood over your fucking car Because that's gotta suck Yeah, yes, it does you never want dog blood dog blood in general I don't want but honestly you want to limit as much you don't you don't want to see too much blood every day I unless you're a surgeon and even that it's not fun. I don't think so unless they do find it fun I think they do. Yeah, we know we're like heroes

But we don't pay them as much as we brought we need to pay people more. I think nurses and stuff Nurses definitely surgeons. I think are fine. Are they I think so. Yeah, but you have to work your way up Right. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. Hope you're doing well out there. Hail yourselves Hail Satan Magustalations everybody Hail Satan Can't wait to see you in texas a juicy series before a big ol series in february again. Remember february first February we are we do have a deal with sitcher. It is with sitcher. You can get a sitcher premium

But also know for a fact that we're gonna be on every fucking podcast including spotify. We're gonna be Wow, you're really you're committed to this. I just absolutely love messaging It's called messaging. You're gonna get out there and we know they're gonna be bigger than we've ever fucking been in a fucking lie Well, that's better. We got to go to the doctor This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com