Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Phantom Hums

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week’s side-iest of stories: a Murdaugh-Murder Family Update, French Nightclub Needle Attacks, a bottomless Restaurant Window Smasher in Queens, the Mystery of Phantom Hums, yet another Murder for Hire - Gone Wrong, Biohacker Struggles, Hero and Villain Pigs, Rescue Rubble Rats, Listener Stories, and MORE!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, we gotta get these doggies, they're out of the pan, we gotta get them back in the pan. In the pan, sure. In the pan, we gotta get them over to the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, June 18th, 2022 at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee. Come and check out all the shows that you love on the last podcast network, we'll be in front of you in our meat space and we cannot wait to entertain you and have a great time. But for those of you that can't come in person, go to momenthouse.com slash L-P-O-T-L and

buy your live stream ticket, yes, you too can watch us perform our jangly Country Jamboree from the nudity of your couch. Absolutely fantastic, I hope you guys enjoy the show, thank you so much for your support and we are so excited to be at the OG Grand Old Operator, hail yourselves! I'm sorry, just doing my vocal warm-ups for the show, mm-hmm, come, mm-hmm, nailed it, come please, fill it up, fill me up with your come please, mm, we're like a car waiting for gasoline, excuse me sir, do you have a come to spare? Just one?

Just one single solitary sperm, out of my billions and billions, I would love just one big one that look like a big flop and dotson, mm, that would be nice, I wonder if they're like goldfish, where if you did capture one semen, you put it into a tub, it would grow to the size of said tub, I think there's a horror movie based on that, oh yeah, it's called come. Well, from the side stories, everyone, I am hanging out with Henry Zabrowski, I'm so glad we started this off like this, well that was a little insight into Henry's warm-ups that he does before every show, every show, as we know, I did actually read a funny article,

you know, I never was able to achieve this award, but it's summa cum laude, yeah, and they blurred the word come when they showed it to the kids, because everyone is so stupid, if so dumb, summa cum laude, it is very stupid. I always, I got the summa cum quiet, because you're in your dorm room and you have a roommate in there. Oh yeah, and sometimes it's weird, I try to like indicate an ending, you know, by going athene. Done.

Athene. Athene. Yeah, yeah, but sometimes you let out like a, I actually wanted to tell you, I wanted to talk to you, Kissel, the very top about this. You have been holding on to this story, we did our Sirius show yesterday, you came in so jovial and so happy, and you told me that you were going to tell me something I've never heard before. I don't know if that's true, but I am excited, because I think it's, I do like that the movement

to accept all types of bodies is out there, right? Alive bodies. Alive bodies. Because technically Dahmer accepted a whole bunch of bodies, but he killed them. He killed them, and then he manipulated them after death, and to check their penises off all the time. And he did a horrible job of being a doctor. Super creative guy.

Absolutely. Like, what I love is that in ladies' underwear advertisements, and I look at all of them just to make sure they're equal. Absolutely. And I look through every style of ladies' underwear advertisement just to see what's out there, what can you, what can you grab at? Furly ones, lacy ones, ones made out of licorice, by the way. In a pinch, it is technically food, and have I gotten stoned and eaten somebody's gag

gift to me? Sure. Oh yeah, those are great, those special ones look like fruit roll-ups, but it is interesting that they celebrate all different types of female bodies, but if you look at male underwear ads, it's still the same very handsome man. Yeah, sure, because they're models, and people want to look- Well, tight, it's the body, it's the body cut. Yes, because you want to look at that model and say, if I get this pair of hands, I'm

going to look just like that man. And you're not? Well, you're not, but it does make you feel like you could. Maybe you could at least, I at least, held the same underwear as that man. Absolutely. But they stuffed their packages, by the way. Whoa. See the footage.

Hey, now, hey, we're going to get torn apart. Have you ever seen the way they do a Big Mac and a Big Mac commercial for McDonald's? They move the burger forward. It's exactly what they do with the cacken balls and undyads. You know, in the mid-1800s, I wanted to celebrate this. There was a fat movement. A fat movement. That's kind of ironic.

It was the fat man scene. Okay. That's what they called it. And basically, it was during the time period when I guess men that did not have to go to work, basically, they could afford to not work. Wow. They wanted to spend their time working on their bodies. In a way, in a productive way, like everyone did during the pandemic, when everyone said,

now we're going to get in shape and they bought a bunch of exercise equipment that just became a cold anger. Yes. But this is fun because they exerted all these fat men groups. Oh, that's great. It's good to get them together. Oh, yeah. One was called the New England Fat Men's Club.

There was the Jolly Fat Men's Club. Oh, that's fun. The United Association of the Heavy Men of New York State, Chris Christie. Very intriguing, of course, Chris Christie, one of the fattest of all time. Check out his pictures when he's in that baseball uniform, speaking of cock and balls, those are desperate. He could really fill it out. Yeah, he did.

And then there was the Fat Man's Beneficial Association. And the last one, my favorite one, they were just called the heavyweights. Oh, I love the heavyweights. It's really fun. It's fantastic. But they said what they would do would like, you know, again, what would they get together is they'd all hang out and they would just eat and breathe heavily. And one, I love this one big thing, one of the mottos for the Fat Men's Association

in New York City was, we're fat and we're making the most of it. Well, that is fantastic. They're definitely taking up the most seats on the subway as they should. And I'm looking at some of the photos that Henry has here on his website. And I must say, Fat Pride, bring it back in the mail form. These guys, there are some fucking units in this group. There really are. A New York Times journalist, he wrote about the club's president.

Mr. Dolan Eschuch. He is pundrous. Here's obesity borders on the infinite and the most hardened lead man cannot gaze upon his magnificent proportions without being unconsciously made purer and holier. Well, this was a great time for fat marketing. Whatever happened to that? I'm actually going to blame Jackie Gleason. He brought a little negativity to the Fat Man.

I'm going to send you to the moon. It seems like the Jolly Fat guys just want to sit there, eat with other Fat Men. Is it possible they were all having sex with each other? Oh, I hope so. Yeah. Yeah, that was the Roly Poly Institute of Baltimore. I do love that. It is interesting.

Someone with heavy weights, someone with, what was it, just straight up large or whatever that may have been. Oh yeah. And then others accepted the word fat. I wonder if there was a feud within the big boy community over the term. Yeah, I don't know. This is now, according, this is correspondence about the New England Fat Men's Club Summer Party.

Oh, also, if I'm going to be a Fat Man, New England's the place to do it, lobster, and all that sweet, sweet, what did they call that, clam chowder? Clam chowder. So this is that all of that shellfish will lead to gout, which is Fat Man's AIDS. King's disease. Yes, besides AIDS. So according to the New England Fat Men's Clubs, the reporter, a reporter following the New England Fat Men's Clubs, Summer Gala, townspeople looked forward to the summer meetings.

Children would gather at the railroad station as guests arrived. They enjoyed watching the oversized members walking the streets, exchanging their secret hand clasp and listening for the secret password. What's the secret hand clasp? It's very sweaty. It's handing a cheeseburger to the other guy. As told in the history of Newberry, one rainy day, a young man remarked to his friend, gee, look at that stomach.

Let's get under it and keep out of the rain. Oh, isn't that sweet. They can use the belly for shelter. The Fat Man has helped out people since the dawn of time. In no way is this the beginning of the end of the American male. So I am just so happy that these guys were able to get together, touch belly buttons, not be able to shake hands if they do that, and then just say, accept it, accept it. Accept it.

Apparently being fat started to decline around the 20s when most of the members of these groups died. Absolutely. And then for at least for a while, I loved the end of this article, but at least for a while, during the end of the century, it was a Fat Man's world. It was a Fat Man's world. We were born in the wrong time zone, time frame, timeline. And I also wanted to, speaking of Fat Man, there's a Murdoch family update.

And speaking of death, of course, the Murdoch family, for those that don't know, South Carolina, he was a former lawyer. His entire family is destroyed. He was, he set up his own, he set up his own assassination attempt, which went horribly wrong. His son probably killed somebody, and then he killed his son and his wife. And then he also embezzled millions and millions of dollars from his company. Yes.

Anyway, that's a long story short. But his housekeeper died of a sudden and horrible accident. And I thought when we say housekeeper, I just think of somebody a little bit older. And I'm looking at a picture of this woman. She is just a young girl who, unlike the choppy men of the past, looked quite healthy. Oh, yes. And I don't think she would just randomly die. He gave her a little bit of a boom, boom, boom.

And she went down the stairs potentially, but they are exhuming the body. They have decided because finally the piles and piles and piles and piles of evidence that have shown that the Murdoch family is up to no good, has now, they finally be like, all right, let's pop open this coffin too and see how this person died as well and see if they died from a so-called trip and fall, like they said. But again, slowly but surely that case inches forward. Absolutely inches forward and that's, which is also the name of my fat man's group. Inching forward.

Absolutely. Do you remember this thing about the nightclub needle attacks that are going on in France and in Europe? No, I haven't seen any of that. Do you remember Travis Scott this year when he did the, with the horrible thing happen? Astro World. The Astro World tragedy. Not a fun concert to go to.

No, but there was rumors of needle attacks happening there too, but they were, it seems like they were unsubstantiated. We don't know whether or not it was real or not. It seemed to be some kind of panic moment. But there are many people across France. They're saying more than 300 people that have reported being pricked out of the blue, quink with, with needles and nightclubs and it's often happened to women. And sometimes women come back, they have some form of adverse reaction.

There's some evidence saying that it's GHB, maybe there's some people saying that it's just straight up liquid. We are the, a lot of people are just starting to figure out, which is like the most fucked up thing, which you've been partying all night. Right. And you don't know why you're in pain or like what's happened to your arm. It isn't until days later, we're like, did someone hit me with a needle? That creeps me out.

Please God stop poking people with needles. You've heard about stories like this for a long time, whether it be butt slashers or needle pokers, treat people with a little bit more respect than a, than a human pin cushion. 18 year old Thomas, he attended, he attended a rap concert in Northern France and you can only imagine when I think of rap, I think of Northern France. It's actually very, I didn't mean to be a racist, but it's apparently there's other music elsewhere.

Did you know that? Yeah. But rap is uniquely American. Yeah. There's a new rap too there and it's more, yeah, is it about bread? Sure. Yeah. But we also eat, we also eat chocolate, but we don't do it as well as the Germans.

But we say, when we say bread, it means money. It can. So he smoked. I know rap. Thomas likes, he smoked a little bit of marijuana and drank some alcohol at the show. But then when he came home, he said, I'm feeling dizzy and I got a headache. And then he said, he spotted a strange little skin puncture on his arm and then he had a little bit of bruise.

And then he says, I've given up on going to concerts since that happened. Oh my goodness. Because apparently he was tested for HIV and hepatitis and thankfully the results came back negative. But this just shows you when you get pricked with something like that, you're like, what is it? What could it be? I mean, and then it would be very stressful.

So I'm a fucking hyperchondriac. I don't know what the hell would happen. I'm such like, I don't like any of that shit. I would not be, I would not be at peace for a good long while. I was at David and Buster's recently because I went to go see AEW. Oh, I saw that footage of you there. That was, wow. Fantastic.

Fantastic footage. Our seats were just outside of the camera zone, even though we were kind of in the front row. But I don't sit on the camera side because I'm not a meteor. But I was there and you could see my Sasquatch like photos. And if you do look at them, they are me. I know for a fact, because I looked at the angles. I did all of my cryptozoology work and I got it done right.

And so we went to David and Buster's later and you might think, oh, that's still stupid. It was the only place open. Okay. Because you're attacking. I don't know. I didn't say nothing. You are peremptively, you're peremptively saying I'm going to judge your David and Buster's. But I also was aware we covered two David and Buster stories recently.

So I was going to look out for gun violence. Anyway, so I was sitting there and this lady was like, I'll take a shot. And I was like, I'll take a shot. And it came in this big ass syringe, right? But it was a plastic syringe and you did have a needle on it. And then you put it in your mouth like, and it tasted very disgusting as if some bizarre gummy bear was pissing in your mouth. But anyway, so I did have a recent needle experience at a club, but it was much different

than the people experienced here in France. I feel like you have a couple of those needles and eventually you need a couple of needles that have insulin in them. Absolutely on account of the diabetes. So a lot of people just said they feel groggy and they don't feel good. And I'm going to say this, number one, again, don't poke random people with any needles. Don't. Um, but also like, what are you giving them, downers?

Yeah. Oh, it's because they, because they want to sexually go nasty. It's for yes. It's not sex. That is not sex. That is a sex crime. That's right. So 302 people have filed formal complaints, which means you have to dress up very nice.

And then you go and you file a formal complaint to the police. But now my question is, if you're the police, two years of nights, maybe an eternal animal. You got to, I've watched that one scene. You watched it again. I watched that scene a thousand times. How many times have you seen the Batman? I just have it. I have it.

Yeah. No. You just watch it. You just close your eyes and it just plays on your eyelids. I love Robert Pattinson. City's eating itself. City's eating itself, just like those shabby boys. And what we talked about on the series yesterday, when it comes to human cannibalism, eating

yourself as well, does count. So two people tested positive for GHB, which again, so just be fricking careful. And it's just a sad world. In America, you have to wear a flat jacket everywhere you go. And now you have to be aware that someone will just have a random fricking needle and tries to stab you when you're at a French rap concert. Is nothing sacred? Nothing.

Nothing is sacred. Especially not the human is. I got a letter from somebody that I wanted to, then I did a little bit of research around the phenomena. And I actually want to use this as a question to our audience to see who else has experienced this. Okay. Now this was, this is about Phantom Hums.

I'm not talking about hum. I'm not talking about hummers. I'm talking about hearing weird noises. Now we've talked about, we've talked about people, it's oftentimes associated with either UFO activity or just straight up mental illness. This idea that you are, you people hearing phantom noises, we don't know what it is. It could be versions of Tinnitus. It could be versions of, but I want to unpack it a little bit.

This comes from a listener. This hum plagues my boyfriends and my life. It's a low droning sound that almost sounds oscillating and is interrupted when noise is made. The interesting thing is that we live off the grid in the Colorado wilderness and we do not always have power. In fact, we hear it most often when there is no power. It needs to be almost completely silent to be able to hear it.

No wind, no birds. And we have, and we only have wood heat. Damn. So the sound cannot be explained by the sound of electricity or plumbing or heating. Not only that, but we live out there. No roads, no roads nearby and no real neighbors. Okay. Now, do they say what crimes they're running from?

No, no, no, no. It just sounds like, oh, they somehow get internet. Okay. But I don't know if they're running from crimes. They might be just running from all of us. They might just love to have sex with one another and be alone. Oh yeah. Pound it in the pine cones.

Oh, isn't that a nice documentary? But they say that they can hear the sound both inside and outside and they say it sounds like an oscillating engine. They say it's like a UFO hovering right on top of them, which is really fucked up. So I looked up this idea of phantom hums because I have heard about this and one, which is a vaguely famous one, which is called the Taos hum, the Taos hum from New Mexico. The Taos hum. Now, these guys, again, it has been reported for years and years and years, but what's

also weird is that it seems that only five to 10% within Taos have heard. Thank you. Please. Before it begins, our New Mexico expert, Fernando. Fernando. Taos, right? Absolutely. And listen to Fernando on Abel against Toppat for more corrections.

I need it. I need it. But there are a lot of people that are hearing the sound in Taos, right? It's been reported since the early 1990s, but they said again about- Get the gun. Get the gun. That's what Ozzy did not. He said, I never would tell my listeners to commit suicide because that fucks with my

sales. Oh, I'm interested. I'm actually happy. You thought that they would be more of an internal crime than an external. Yes. It seems that only 2% of Taos residents have heard this thing where they call themselves hearers. I believe it.

Right. But again- Because sometimes you can hear stuff. I hear stuff all the time that you don't hear because I'm only up here. You're way down there. You hear the- you hear the frogs burping. I don't hear the frogs burping, but I hear the birds chirping. Sometimes it's almost as if you hear what it over is you want to hear.

That's what I'm saying. I'm- That's just- That's just- Maybe the earth is hungry. I am hungry. Oh, maybe that's it. Have you thought about throwing some french fries down the drain?

I've ever thought about that quantum behavior. They say, you know, the quantum weirdness is the fact that things get weird when you go down in a quantum level. Maybe that- maybe it's not because we don't understand cells or physics, but maybe that that is the super, super small nanomachines, hyperintelligences, and their decisions running our lives. So we are- it's just an offshoot. We're just the root of subatomic behavior, which is actually not even just an intelligent

behavior. It's actually intelligent micromachines. Did you hear Taco Bell brought back the Mexican pizza? And it was by popular demand. And then they said that the Mexican pizza, you know what, they got 20 times more positive response than they were expecting. This whole show is about the two wolves inside of you. Which one do you feed?

So in Taos, they're here in this thing, but it's explained as a bunch of different sounds. It's either like a hum, it sounds like a warring, it sounds like an engine, it sounds like a coughing, but what's weird is how- Well, those are the same. They're not the same. That's what- that's what's super weird about the phenomena. Not everybody hears it, and when people hear it, they all hear something different. Maybe Nana's just dying in the room next to you and you should go help her because she's

coughing herself to death. Or just let her go. Whatever it goes on. Pinch the nose. You don't have to do that. God does it. God pinches her nose. I don't know.

Sometimes God loves to fucking watch you ride and suffer. Well, because- It's up to man. It's up to man to bring peace. Because the- the people who love God the most are elderly people, specifically women in New Mexico. So he doesn't- Yes, exactly.

Better be nice, wear something nice. I don't know. They find out it's just they get there and it's just some version of the fucking Hellraiser demons. Ooh, that would be cool. And then you're fucked. No, that would be awesome. I guess so.

I bet you they're really nice when they're not working. Because, you know, when they get summoned to Earth, then they're like, I gotta go dismember and kill all these people. But before that, they were probably just doing Chunky Boy stuff at Chunky Boy Buffets. Yep. But, again, we go back into the sound phenomena. I was researching it and one of the things they say, which seems to be, like, dumb, but also, like, why did a scientist need to say this to me?

But they're like, he was a weird and he listened and he heard different things. And it's actually more of a question of why do we each perceive the world in the way that we do? Do we each see things differently? Do we each taste things differently? I'm not even going to tell you what YouTube video I watched because I don't remember. But I will tell you this, he gave me- he made a great point. You're driving through a town.

We all live in a different reality. Driving through a town, you're hungry. Your reality is going to be going to a town. You're going to go to the restaurant in that town. And then you're going to leave. And that's your reality. Well, let's say you're driving through the same town. Well, we've got car troubles.

Your reality is going to be going to the gas station to get your car fixed. I don't know. That's your reality. You drove through the same town. Different experiences. Totally different town. We've got to cut you off, Jordan Peterson. I don't know what's in this.

No, that's not Jordan Peterson. I don't know what- No, Jordan Peterson talks about eating nothing but meat and he's very sad and I don't think you can get hard anymore. And I've never been a Jordan Peterson person because I think he takes everything too literally because he is borderline stupid. He is very stupid. But again, it's weird.

So maybe that's one version of it. Or is it because you hear a noise? We hear constant ambient noise and maybe your brain dials in on a specific ambient noise because you're having a negative reaction and that negative emotion actually bumps it up in the mix. Interesting. So maybe your body actually can't hear that sound much like the color green, for example, is anything but the color green.

Don't even get me going, my friend. I don't want to get into it. I don't want to get into color theory again. It's not theory. That's a fact. But- Or is this shit gangstalking weaponry used by the government? It's not gang-

So you're telling me, gangs? Or are we here? We already got here. Okay, Tammy, Pat, you know what we're doing today? Yeah. We're going to surround Harry, right? Yeah. Three hours.

Got to. What are we going to do? Listen. No. Slowly and lowly hum for two hours. That actually might be nice, I might counter it. It just sounds like they're around a bunch of Buddhist monks who have a very evil plan. Or they're like George Harrison, bringing in those god-awful, god-those fucking Harry

Christians to the recording sessions. So you think the Harry Christians, and again, you know- They're way more annoying than Yoko. Because Yoko got a lot of flak. No, way more. Yoko's just sitting there. Okay. But I'm just saying it's interesting about how it's interesting how you can look at

something that's phenomenal and you can unpack it in many different ways. Sure. Obviously, the truth is, it's out there somewhere, I don't know what it is, side stories, LPOTLGmail.com. Have you experienced phantom hums? What if it's just the earth, you know, with all the fracking and cracking going on? I think there's a connection to what has happened with something like this, is a very low-level version of whatever is going on with Havana syndrome, which is also very-which is ever-whatever is going on with gangstalking.

And of course, Havana syndrome, that's when you start to buy nice hats, learn how to smoke a cigar, wear fun clothes on the beach. It's serious, Kissel. Is it? No. I don't know what the hell it is. But it's weird how, I feel like there's a convergence here of maybe there are people that are just also hyper-sensitive to microwave behavior.

Could be. And they end up feeling these gangstalking symptoms, or is it just, is there covert tests of shit? Like the fray effect, these things that come out there, like they can beam words and thoughts or they think they can. They can make you think they can do something. That's what Jim Carrey did in the Batman movie when he played the Riddler. Yes.

I don't-so I don't know. Maybe-maybe there's- Who knows? Life from your grave. A roast as dark as the night, perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge.

The bridge. Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and last podcast on the left, we bring you Mothman's red-eye blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans, go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. All right, well, speaking of something, food is something in sewer pants. Now Queens, New York, we love Queens because, of course, it represents the royal family of America. I fuck them.

Fuck Queens in general. Oh, Queens is fine. You lived in Queens for a while. I'm from Queens. I'm just saying fuck Queens, the role. Oh, the role. The role in society, the noun, fuck Queens. So this is an interesting story where a customer went into a Queens restaurant.

Now, my favorite part about this story is the name of said restaurant. And this is why Queens is so unique, because every time you're a small town child, you don't realize that there are more restaurants than Apple Squeeze, than Dave and Buster's. This restaurant is named Four Choices and a Soup. That's how you, it is exactly what you get. Four Choices and a Soup on Roosevelt Avenue and Flushing. It's in Flushing. So it might have been, I believe it is an Asian restaurant, and that's where the most

delicious Asian food in America is, it's in Flushing Queens, and it's absolutely delectable. And you're not even being sarcastic. No. You need to get there. It's so good. It's kind of a pain if you're not up there already. Like I'm saying up there, because I just formed the Brooklyn perspective. You don't need to travel for it, because you happen to be there.

No, it is worth it to travel, but it's about an hour or within the city. You know Rob. That's like coming. That's like coming to America. I don't know if that's the best advice to be like, I'm here for the Chinese food. They'll be like, okay. No, no, no. They want you there.

They're very excited to get new people. But again, only eat where there's no white people, because that's how you know the food is good. Be very careful when you do go to the restaurant, because the one in Queens was vandalized this past Saturday. Now, a regular customer walked in there, and this is the great thing about New York. You never know. Even if they're a regular customer, you never know what day it is, and you never know what

day it is when they snap. Oh, sure. This guy, he rolled up, but the one problem is, you're not wearing pants, you gotta wear the pants. Well, they said that it's not even just the not wearing pants, it's the no underwear. Well, it all works. He got in there, he walked in, and apparently he was a regular there, and according to them, this is also, again, it's very, very New York, because it's just right up there.

One of the owners, Jenny Z, which she said, which is, it's very New York, everybody knows that he has a mental problem. So most of the time, we serve him right away. We don't wait too long to get him his food. No, you don't want to. Which is honestly incredible, and what a great tactic. Absolutely. If you start to present yourself as an unpredictable person, you might start getting incredible

service. It might be. I don't know if you'll be getting such great service at this point, because once he came in with his cock and balls exposed, which by the way, if you do do that, you put your balls in your cock on the table, you say, can you cook these? You have a little fun with it before obviously being escorted out, most likely by the police. So they said, I'm sorry, sir, your cock and balls are way too out. And then they had to kick him out of, again, four choices and a suit.

You got to leave. Because by then, and he'd only made it to three choices. Exactly. And then he came back at 4.40 PM, broad daylight, he happened to have a hammer. And then he smashed every single window and glass around in the food. Honestly did what looks like one of the funnest things in the world. If you went to one of those, they have those big ass warehouses, right? Where you're like, you can go hit grandma for free.

I don't even know what you do. And just like, just the idea of smashing all of these different windows with the hammers is such a fun idea. I want to do it so bad, but I want to do it on my terms. There was a bar in the old college town. I used to go to. We knew the owner. We'd give him 75 bucks.

We'd go smash all of his plastic furniture and then he'd just go replace it at Walmart. It's very cheap. It's just all these shards, shards of plastic of all the birds are trying to use them for nests and cutting their beaks. Oh, no. We cleaned up. But again, they were so nice. This is which also, it's incredible, the spirit of that city.

We think when he takes his medicine, he is very normal. He comes in and says, hello to us, she said. We don't want him to go to jail if he has mental problems because sometimes, quote-unquote, mental patients, she might have said like ding-dongs or crazy pants. They can't control themselves, which it is a very, that's very elevated thinking, knowing that this is not the normal person that normally comes in. Oh, I see what you were saying. Crazy pants.

The article corrected her saying, so she said mental patients, but yeah, she probably said something a little bit different than that. But now the interesting thing is, we have to remember, we got to protect our Asian community, especially as Henry just said, the Chinese delivery man because they are the front lines of the war on hunger. Oh yeah. And they're out there, our pizza delivery people, our Chinese food delivery, anybody out there, the true warriors of this country work for DoorDash.

Emily and Queens, the Chinese delivery man got into a massive fight over an argument about duck sauce. If your duck sauce is not there, well then, okay, you just don't get duck sauce that night. You just don't get duck sauce. And then they beat him up and they're spending, they're spending up dick and hate crime. So we got to be loving out there. And is duck sauce a big thing outside of New York City? Oh yeah.

And do people eat, because we love duck sauce, duck sauce is the thing that we use quite a bit in the Zabrowski household because my mom used to just slather it in pork shit. It's one meal, it was like country ribs and she used to cover it in duck sauce and she put sauerkraut on it. So she did cook you love? Oh yeah, of course. I was fucking 300 pounds when I'm 14 years old. I was a very, I was a very chauvinist.

I had a preposterous girth. And all the kids used to come and they used to like, they used to hand me umbrellas and be like, you're dance, bad dance. And I'd be like, hey guys, I'm just, oh, I'm just bigger than the other boys. I had full, I had full Polish tits. Really fantastic. You were like the giving tree, kids would hide underneath you when it rained and slowly it shoved you down.

I was looking at my body last night, I was looking in the mirror, just kind of check at it and just really understanding because like sometimes I look at my own breasts and I lift them up and I say like, oh, that can be kind of nice. But then I realized like, oh, I'm just giving myself like full, like gorgeous boobs. Yeah, because you can push up bras, very fantastic, it pushes up your confidence. But if I do it for myself, like, I feel like am I going to get all horny for myself? And I think about, do people do that all the time? Do people look in the mirror and get horny for themselves?

No, they don't. That's why, no, most people have massive eating disorders and the whole series of mental problems like all of us have. But I also understand that if I just shaved my whole body, I was looking at being like, man, I have some nice gazangas. I have Linda's body, I realize that. That's your mother's body. Yeah, and I, father's.

So you just, you actually just said one of the most disgusting things of all time. You were talking about how you wanted to have sex with your own body and then you said it's because it looks like your mother. I'm just saying, I was unpacking it. Four choices and a soup, if you are near the Queens area, go to four choices and a soup. Go help them. Because they just recently lost all their windows. Absolutely.

And again, we need to support our small businesses. What's the most important note? What? One of those choices you should make should be be a pair of pants. Absolutely. That's the number one choice. It should be five choices in a soup and the first choice is put on pants, arrive at store. But what you've just said previously about your own body is one of those cliches where

I remember people growing up would be like, if I had Pamela Anderson's tits, I would play with them all day. It's like, no, you wouldn't. Why not? It would hurt your back. It's just massively uncomfortable. I don't know. I think I would though.

And then they're on you. No, because you can't see them. Look at me now. Look at what I'm doing right now. Yeah, but you're not actively getting aroused. I don't know. You don't know. Because sometimes, sometimes it starts with a butthole because I've noticed that my butthole

gets hard first. Isn't that something fascinating? You trying to dig for a story? I am. You trying to find a story? I'm just picking up a story. It's up for you. Now you've got to tee up a story.

Well, I often tee up many, many stories here that don't involve... How about these teas up? No, I... Take a look at these right here. Are these distracting you? You can't see the picture on Listener Scan. This is what you get for your $5. You can see my loose boobies flop around like I'm Lena Dunham full of protein.

Fantastic. Look at me, man. I got big arms. You have just compared yourself to two fascinating women. I got the Lena Dunham body. That's a great compliment. I got L Ron Hubbard legs. There you go right for a podcaster researcher a research doctor He's accused of hiring a hitman to take out a rival. It's never a real deal

Fucking hitman and what oh, this is big oil He called himself quote his royal highness Unbounced checks so federal prosecutors have revealed a possible motive behind what they described as a coast-to-coast Murder for a higher scheme that ended in the death of a northeastern Vermont man in January of 2018 it was an alleged oil deal Gone bad and again unless your Exxon or a series of other large pollutant corrupt companies Nobody has oil. How does the oil deal go bad and what it was the oil deal Gregory Davis? He's 49 he was the victim

He was taken from his home in front of his wife and children. It was one winter evening Prosecutors believe there was a phony law enforcement officer was the murder who was the murderer He dumped Davis's body in a snowbank near st. John'sbury, Vermont Congrats what I will say you should be allowed one hitman murderer if it actually all goes all the way through if he gets all the way through I Guess so I'm gonna say he didn't do a good job because much like the trash in New York City As soon as there's a snowpile people just say I'm gonna throw all my trash on it Yes, and I think it's gonna buy out a grade this man literally just hid a murdered body in something that is going to melt Which is going to obviously reveal said body Jerry Banks

He's 34 a Fort Garland, Colorado was arrested. He isn't charged directly with the murder But federal prosecutors believe that he is indeed the one who hired the gunman So you're right at the very least he did find someone who committed a stupid crime for him Probably a real money for it, too Yes, and the banks called so the dude that did it was Aaron Lee Ethridge. They always put the middle name when you're a murderer So don't forget that they say do he was 41 of Henderson, Nevada So we got Colorado we got Nevada and I believe Vermont. So this is like way crazy And he said that the call was to inform Ethridge that David had successfully kidnapped and murdered

Ethridge was accused last month of conspiring to help kidnap Davis and the man who did the murder You know looks like a hitman. I mean again, it's he wore the costume I like to believe that if you are actually hitman like the key would be to look Non-descript right like you really kind of want to look like a nobody But it's weird because everybody turns out to end up being a hitman They always got a lot of jewelry on they got the fucking five o'clock shadow going they look like they get a lot of Serbian guys That's right. See cuz I feel like there's a lot of I don't know why that to me That's they that's the epitome of a hitman

Shaved head classic Hollywood racism, maybe but hey, I mean, I don't know I don't know But I also feel like they're more dangerous side stories. They'll POTL GMO calm are the Serbian's dangerous Well, I think that they would take great pride in saying yes to that. Do you think that's true? We're gonna be like everybody always thinks all I do is kill and torture and then they go in and I did the American tourists And I cut off their vaginas and stuff like that, but honestly, I just want to make the beats up They can do both. I mean, I guess I feel like I why does every Serbian hitman have to also have some side innocent hobby So this is an old-school FBI situation the case had gone cold But there was a bunch of covert agents

They tracked down the necessary leads and they were able to connect all of the dots So anyway, this guy what a horrible way to die over what I can only imagine Is not real what the oil deal? I don't know. It was all fake. It was a big scam. It was all behind his What's this group? It was a is it not key and biosciences? It's all it was a front He basically said that he was gonna do it's it's this will be an interesting movie some day Because this guy was involved in something like it's like between oil deals and it's Elizabeth Holmes style Fake like a miracle cure system that he was touting. It's interesting. This guy is a he's in a lot of trouble He seems like he is and of course

I think it does it's reminiscent of that movie starring the rock and that other muscly man when they When they kind of made it a comedy even though in reality They did kidnap that man and torture him to death, but it wasn't funny. I do love that movie It was pain and gain pain and gain of that movie. I never watched it. I thought it was gonna I thought it was a little rude to the family. Whoa, they don't think it should have been a comedy Well, you know, we've had a lot of horrible news these days Obviously, we've had it's been horrible horrible these mass shootings have been terrible, but finally some good news This is and I've been it's been so long been waiting. Maybe there's some kind of solution to this

Maybe, you know, there's been the idea of tossing out an assault gun ban. You know, I mean, maybe that could be good Or maybe an age limit. Maybe maybe 18 isn't the right age Maybe like all this touting of these very the NRA saying that it's mental health issue Maybe there's somebody put a bunch of money into, you know, like mental health programs and do these reach-out stuff I'm a money-funneling organization full of griptors. Absolutely But no, don't worry. We finally have the solution And Taser has come forward and says don't worry. We're gonna stop school shootings by using Taser armed drones That will hover inside of our class and I would like to point out and they'll be there forever always

Talk about the hum. That's the hum. The kids will really get used to it I think that you are slowly doing a Henry's a Browsky backtrack because this is the future that you've always wanted I'm not gonna let you get away with this. This is what I've been warning everybody about I wanna use this against comedians. I wanna use this against entertainers. You know, they only use weapons for the right reasons So anyway, this is just gonna make having fun getting an education and then be like, okay Don't make sure you don't step out of line or you're gonna get your hair cut by one of these laser tasers Can you imagine that's floating above your school? It's gonna be so much easier to get those homework assignments in because you're literally gonna say be like alright guys

We're writing. We're all gonna be writing this story about why Martin Luther King, Jr. was not an alien Oh, I'm gonna really you're a fantastic history teacher, but if you don't Well spark he's gonna get you That'd be fucking it'd be kind of fun because all these teachers walking around they're all upset because I get we're not paying I'm enough and that's another thing that we could maybe you know, fuck that We're not gonna fix that what if instead of that giving them payment now you have your own drone as a pet That is just absolutely fantastic We do pay police officers enough and as we talked about enabling and stop at perhaps

They need to overturn the federal law that says police officers don't have to engage if they see an act of crime I know So according to Barry Friedman a New York University law professor who I know for a fact is a great mustache He says this particular idea is crackpot Which I actually don't know why crackpot is such a bad term But it's crackpot and I kind of like the the old-school terminology he says it's a dangerous and And fantastical idea, and I just wonder how these keys going to learn

I don't know, but it doesn't I think crackpot is not the word. I would say it's insidious and dangerous and very It's going to create a lot of wealth for a lot of horrible horrible people again the taser development company acts on They're just throwing spaghetti at the wall scene with sticks. It was just said they're like a don't be no blame a messenger Like what do you want me not sell these these tasers? I got all these drugs. We have all these drones with tasers I gotta do something with them because I guess what my kids is sick of playing with them because that would kill them They're friend Bobby. Oh, yeah, that'll happen also on a drone front The US Navy has shot down a drone for the first time using an all-electronic laser for the first time

Yes, of course it was designed by Lockheed Martin, so Again very money because I know again like it's not good I like to cover these types of stories about what the military is working on just so y'all know that like when like not to Be anything that if you think that you're shotgun or like your little assault rifle is gonna do anything Against the shooter drone down with a shotgun that you can do I saw the movie bees But what about the electric laser coming from a satellite? You have to get a captain American like shield. Oh, and then you deflect it Oh, um, I have a feeling that that's a that's it'll be on police cars in the next five years So, you know, anyway, that's that's a lot. No, we're waiting freedom. That's what you know

I'm learning. Yeah, you don't like that Look at me. Can we put some tap-shoot noises in Don't kill him not me sir. I'm just an entertainer just an entertainer. I do love it All right, and also just lastly a biohacker named meow Ludo disco. Okay biohacker This is the name meow Ludo disco gamma Meow meow. I'm implanted a opal card into his hand. He has managed to escape conviction I believe because of the card Well, they fuck with him they gave him a ticket for saying that he didn't have a valid ticket

And he did not produce a ticket to transport officers and this was in Australia Which I believe the opal card is what allows him to go on their mass transit and he had put in the opal card chip in his hands And then they arrested him they did all this fucking shit They pulled him off because he was doing a little bit of a stunt but also again, he's like I had my card I got on the bus and then what they did he got it all overturned there's showing the biohacking Makes your life more difficult It can because he could have just shown if you just had the car He wouldn't have been arrested and then he could have gone to his job or his girlfriend's house or to a bar

Science movement. I can't believe that a man named meow Ludo disco gamma meow meow was in it for the attention He's any he's a what's in spots. He's a activist indeed in many ways. Yes Hey, what's up everyone, how you doing Ben kissle here with Henry Zabrowski Yeah, bro Henry Zabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast Go out there and purchase yourself some I hope you enjoy it We have sativa we have indica and we have a hybrid and I have to tell you for my personal experience They are wonderful super tasty live resin. You really get the delicious weedy taste, which is what I like and three different experiences You go to your local vape store and get it absolutely. Thank y'all so much for supporting the show

We absolutely love you can't wait to see on the road and get that vape Put it in your brain and have a good time and if you want to set your favorite weed store Give them a call and ask for them by name last podcast on the left. It's weed. Hail yourselves everyone. Hail Satan All right, everyone. We'll speak it of activists. Let's do hero of the week And as usual I have to The first one is a rat now this rat is no, this is actually true This rat is trained to carry tiny backpacks into earthquake zones perhaps where the hmm is coming from so rescue teams can talk to survivors And hopefully help them or they just talk to them and tell them that they're doomed

So rats are being trained and sent into earthquake debris with tiny backpacks And if you look at these rats, they're freaking huge. They are there alone. Dr. Donna keen from Glasgow did the research She's 33 years old is why we need more ladies in the sciences Sciences because it seems like the men mostly just create lasers to kill people and so far seven rats have been trained And it's only taking them two weeks to get up to speed At the moment the homemade prototype backpacks contain a small microchip and it's being used as scientists are now sending them into the debris And then they're tracking where our people and it's been very helpful specifically in Moro gore more moro gore

Tanzania now they've been doing more moro gore Tanzania and the rodents will get a chance to work in the fields when they go to Turkey And I don't know if the robots realize that they're going into, you know, legitimate hell But there is a cute picture of a rodent doing what I did a David Buster's Sucking some fun stuff through what leaks to be looks to be a fun little needle. So anyway rats Congratulations, you're very scary beans and you invaded my home one time in New York City And it ended just a series of good nights and good times you need all my clothes and the power of a rat yeah Fat they can be very very fat and they can just fit through the size of a quarter. Did she got thin bones thin bones

But yeah, honestly, and that's why and that's why that rat is a hero because it's using what is creepy about it for good So Donna said rats would be able to get into small spaces to get the victims buried in rubble to get to the victims That's incredible very in rubble now again. I don't know if they're gonna be able to rescue them at this point I also don't know if I'm in rubble like if I want to be like right That's like oh no But you don't see the subtitles like I'm here to help you don't see it And then they say we have not been in a real situation yet, but they do have mock debris sites

So anyway, so that's gonna be fun setting up a mock debris site though again trash it trash it Ah, and another hero of the week is just this little piggy now these pigs are just Unbelievable what they've been doing. Hey, I'm not a lot of people heroes. He says no, they're really honestly It's just tell me I don't have one. I know anyone me. I made my own dinner three times over the last week Which honestly makes me a hero. I mean eating salad. Okay, I'm getting back I'm getting back on track. Okay, it wise well and to all those people who are getting back on track and taking care of themselves You're also here of the well hero pig credit it with saving veteran owner from a New Jersey apartment fire now This pig is 500 pounds now the pig closed the door while he was escaping the fire

Which prevented the blaze from spreading and before you say oh you just did it on accident Well, what if he didn't because all we know is that this 500 pound pig named Hamilton Helped his 30 year old neighbor or a 30 year old parent Gilbert Anaya escape the New Jersey apartment now I don't know if a 500 pound pig lives in the apartment That's a lot of space for a piggy to be taken up in an apartment But the pig closed a door in the garage as the fire intensified Slowing the blazes spread and in one thing we know about pigs

They understand what it's like to be cooked and crackled and he said not today pig. Yeah, they don't though You know what I mean? They don't smart. They don't have a consciousness that makes them understand that they are also our food They do they don't know they do they don't actually if you do your studies that show pigs know the day They're about to be killed so do cows, but again cows don't exist without us down We've done down but no pigs are very aware that we eat them constantly. I don't know they are how we're gonna get What's that story's LP I'm telling you all these pita people are gonna start no not a pita people That's another grifter skin. I am talking about people who really love animals. I get it I get I get it but guess what in this innocence you talk of like last week, right?

Yeah, all these so-called animal heroes of yours. Absolutely. We had a ram convicted of murder, right? He was he was he spent you years you fought me three years And then I had several listeners who emailed and say rams feel nothing dates what they do rams Ram That's what they do. They don't feel anything doesn't feel good. They don't feel no, but they animals feel guilt No, they don't they create Approximations of guilt to get a response from humans. I wish you had the same thoughts on AI You know what I wish I did too. This is according to a US veteran navy veteran who was getting the owner He says the fire department said him closing the piggy closing the door bought me 15 to 20 minutes

If he didn't choose to close the door the fire and the smoke would have spread faster They all would have been dead and he would have been he definitely both would have become bacon But you know what's so funny? News 12 Bronx reported that Hamilton is trained to close doors No, he is a hero. He is a hero Now I'm gonna tell a story but when a pig wasn't a hero and we're gonna go back in time a little bit Hmm, but I'm gonna talk about the story about how a pig was once sentenced to death for murder as well You can't take the death. No, yeah, you can absolutely now

They're saying that this young this pig a young pig was arrested for it This is in the 14th century was arrested for attacking a child's face, which eventually died because of the attack But the pig was arrested and then taken to prison and then put on trial where he was put up a trial Where they put they literally did a piggy trial and this is an excerpt for his is a January 9th 1386 You believe that was a date, huh? Oh, yes, and this is from the execution of fellow France. Mm-hmm So because they were sentenced to death. Oh, no for his efforts and salary now This was the receipt from the execution. Okay for his efforts and salary for having dragged and then hanged at the place of Justice and fell a a sow of approximately three years of age who had eaten the face of the child of

Jonella Macon who was in his crib and he was approximately three months old in such a way That the said infant died from the injuries and additional tennis to walk for a new glove when a hangman performed the said execution This receipt is given to Reginald Rigot vicon de velo and then they said that he will go into this And then what he was supposed to do how they kill the pig they cut up his front legs He was supposed to be tortured and murdered in the public square where they put up there like yep He was supposed to be his front legs were supposed to be cut up in a cage And then he was to be put into a man's suit and then home from the town square So that's what they did they put him in a tennis suit and they hung the sound square

And they said that he defecated on the spot. Well, I do believe that would be true. I'm man I wish we could kind of bring that back and not have it be pigs That's a really interesting. I just want to do public hangings again. No, I could just see some political figures that Belong where that But anyway, what kind of way would you eat a child's face where they didn't die? Just a nibble you want to do it in just the ears ears only So they don't hear all the bad news or All they do is hear the bad news if you don't have the I just saw I know you get is bad news

By the way, they're doing very good with the with the ear transplants Magnet little magnet they pop it on its fucking sweet kind of cool. Let me do this one little story. Okay, listen our emails This is a story I've searched for an explanation for four years, but I have been an unable to explain away in In 2017 my sister were driving us back from a cupcake concert Oh, I'm singer of such song as vagina deep throat and Spider-man dick cupcake was the original name for Marcus Parks on the roundtable of gentlemen He was a horrible job where the man was a criminal, but he couldn't say his name No, but this is 2k's in it. Oh, not three because that would be bad. That's very bad

It was around 3 a.m. When we were leaving the main road to an area that we always called the canyon Which is the back road that swerves through some hills in Southern, California. The canyon has almost no street lamps So only the headlights from your car illuminate the road in front of you. We were both sitting Silently and went up ahead a figure came into view This figure had to be well over six feet tall and the motion was making is it was as if it was getting up from sitting on its But but without using its hands to help it almost like coming from up from a back bend or something but from sitting as As the headlights shine directly on it I realized that this being had no face and no distinguishable clothing or characteristics whatsoever

Then even though it was definitely facing us based on the way it had gotten up It almost looked like someone wearing a black staticky ghillie suit Huh? It's around 3 a.m. The canyon with no sidewalks and he's at the bottom of the hill right next to the road my sister And I both sat bolt upright and yelled at each other to make sure we had seen the same thing after contemplating for the next 20 minutes I called the police thinking it was some kind of person. Maybe they needed help because they were wandering in the middle of the canyon I'm not sure if they ever went and checked it out. I'm fairly certain that whatever we saw was not human based on its sheer size Oh, it's just this weird area. They said there's a lot of hinky stuff happening over there

There's a rumors of chanting and cults and Satan worshippers, which is I mean who knows who knows Through the hills of Southern California. There's been many different cults at many different cults Yeah, they're in and groups doing cult like activity So easily convinced people the Sun much like Florida rots the brain every every now and again a little cloud coverage I think it does help us doesn't it does But I want to let our audience know before I get into the triple L's We have a live show coming up in Nashville the rhyming on its way and we can't wait all of LPN is gonna be there We got

Marcus is fucking ready to go. We're gonna be doing this shit But I want to make sure you know we have a live stream as well If you cannot come to Nashville come and see us on a live stream you can watch the whole thing Oh, sit there in your undies if you want absolutely and it's at moment house comm slash Lpotl you buy those tickets coming. What come on a while and I was just from Europe Absolutely lower expectations. I always have that again. It's us. It'll be good. Not great. Not great Yeah, it is shooting for 65 65 is fans see minus my mom used to say sees get degrees Yep, and she was almost right C plus is good. Oh, yeah, so 0.5. Make sure you live every day

If you're a pig, maybe you live every day like a little piggy like a little piggy You can be a hero or you can be a murderer make the right choice make the right choice again It's about the wolf that you feed inside little piggy All right, because if you're a little piggy that loves mayhem, right? Maybe you will be out there chewing the face off of little children Maybe just cuz you can because maybe no one will ever blame the little piggy No, what they do and then sometimes they fucking hang you all right Or you could be like the little piggy that loves to close the door for your father who served time in the war

Absolutely the Navy and you can go in there and you you use help your father, and you know, I'm good Good piggy today, but guess what that means you got more oats Absolutely about that and then if you no matter what if you're a little piggy laugh knowing that no matter what You get a chance to get off this spinning fucking rock I'm not like the rest of us trapped endlessly in the wheel. We all die No, no, but trapped on the the karmic wheels. I would never know what we're coming back as well I would love if there was the island of the pig much like that fantastic film starring Bruce Willis Chris Tucker meal your joke of it's a fellow man. Yes

All right, everyone will thank you so much for listening. We hope you're doing well out there We squeaked it out didn't we kiss we squeaked another one out Hope we made you laugh just a little bit just a tiny tiny just a tiny bit if we can spread a little laughter out there Then we've done all job All right, everyone will thank you so much for listening hang in there hill yourself translation See you in Nashville. Can't wait man. I cannot wait This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors

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