Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Pig Brains

Episode Date: April 25, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: pig brains are alive, George Zimmerman is off Tinder, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop. On the left. Side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Ooh, just came back from Mexico. Beautiful, you're in Tulum. I guess it was Tulum. I think it was also Playa del Carmen. I don't know, it's in the area. We didn't really leave the resort. I think that's probably the best thing that could happen to you. When you're anywhere outside of America, Henry, just stay in areas that you are protected by armed security. That is not true. Where you are protected by security guards because you start getting out there and you start doing your characters, and next thing you know you end up in a barrel somewhere, rolling down a hill.

That's where you live your life in fear every day, and I live my life in a celebration of magical extensions of myself. We saw some ruins, which is really cool. We saw this, basically we went to Tulum where the Mayans, it was the rich people section of the Mayan culture right on the fucking beach, and it was beautiful. You could see why they worshipped the sun because it's so powerful. It's so powerful. I got this crazy ass sunburner. You could see everywhere I missed my swipes because the problem is I'm covered with... How thick would you say is my body hair? I'm probably covered with about an inch and a half of body hair. It is really, really difficult to get the sunscreen past my hairs to my actual skin. I got to rub it, I got to rub it, I got to rub it, I got to rub it, and I used two whole things of lotion throughout the entire week,

and I'm doing SPF 50, which is like I might as well literally be wearing a blanket as I'm outside. I think you were in the Polish Isle of CVS, that's the only place you can get SPF 50. You can get that, you can also get noodles, and you can get things that are overall going to end up killing you. In the Polish CVS they have all full aisle just for sauerkraut and mustard that will kill your grandmother. I got so sunburned on my knees that now I'm peeling and itching, all night I'm peeling and itching, I feel like a fucking junkie. But otherwise, so relaxed. Such a nice vacation. We went, we had so many tacos. I had so much tequila, man. Tequila's my new shit, dude. Well, I don't think it's your new shit, I'm pretty sure it's the old shit you've been drinking tequila since I've known you and I've known you for about 15 years.

So anyway, I'm happy that you have an idea that you're doing something new when you're drinking tequila simply because you've switched over from vodka, but you wore tequila two months before, but then you forgot you liked tequila and now you're back to tequila. I'm not a vodka guy, I never was, I like a bourbon, but I started doing more tequila because tequila, it makes your pockets filled with motivation if you know what I'm talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. This is Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben Gissel. I'm hanging out with Henry Zabrowski. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Well, I'm happy, I'm sad actually that your knees are so sunburnt because I know you're a good Catholic boy. Oh yeah, I see it. It is. Well, it's really,

You really can't see it. No, it's shockingly white. It's actually maybe the whitest part of your body. But now it's like, now I'm all peeling. I got all this like meat coming off me and then I felt really weird because like my arm's peeling and Wendy was excited to see me and I didn't really know what to do. So I picked her up and I was like, she was like, I got it. Like licking all over me, but then I watched as she started licking all the skin like weird skin parts come like peeling off of me. And has that given her a taste for human flesh? I think by definition it has indeed and most likely you're going to wake up without a leg one day. And when she can, she gets scared if the snacks are too big. Well, it's true. If I bring her a treat and it's too big, she barks at it.

Well, she's got a lot, she's got a lot to say. All right. Well, we have a bunch going on here. Sorry about the knees. I know you're a good Catholic boy. I guess you won't be praying anytime soon. But that is what it is. Sucking that dick. Sucking that dick. Well, speaking of disgusting things that happen to the human body, there is really no one more disgusting than the person we've covered on this show before. And we have, I don't know if it's necessarily sad news. Death is never easy. We've all born death. It's never easy. But sometimes you hear a tale that somebody died. You hear a story where somebody dies and you're like, man, it almost feels like there is some justice in the world.

I'm talking, of course, about the airline passenger who once demanded a restroom assistant on an airplane. And also, she wasn't a restroom assistant. She was a stewardess. If this story was about a restroom assistant, it would make a little bit more sense. No, it wouldn't. This, I know, I'm just saying a little bit more because this is just a stewardess who didn't go to poo poo school. I don't know where they go when you have to work in a bathroom your whole life. No, you don't go to poo poo school. There's no poo poo. I don't know.

You literally just are the, you are, it's the, the lastest job that's given to somebody. Or maybe it's the most trustworthy, maybe it is the most trustworthy person in the entire staff because you have to trust that they won't go like crawl it under the stalls. Maybe. Anyway, this dude made a stewardess wipe his butt. Well, he was on a... Deeper. Deeper. He demanded she go deeper, deeper on a Taiwanese air flight and he has just died an overweight passenger. He's an American. God bless the United States. These United States. Of course he's an American. You didn't even have to tell us that. We know. Well, if you look at him, he looks like technically a healthier version of George R.R. Martin with the same attitude.

I am not, I do not believe that George R.R. Martin, I mean, he has not been accused of this crime, but if I could find out that the unnamed pervert was George R.R. Martin, like if he didn't die, I would not be surprised. But he apparently died of an unspecified illness, which I think was just called being a fat, angry piece of shit. Could be, but he died on vacation in Thailand. So this dude just traveled around the world. He must have had money from God knows where. He wasn't sitting in first or business class. He was in economy class, economy class, but because he was so big, he did get to poop in first class, which is interesting. He circumvented the entire system simply because he was so unhealthy. We've been in economy class before, Henry. Oh yeah. You know when you try to get up to the business class or first class bathroom? Sit down.

They put the net up. They put the net up. They have that net between you and first class. So even if you make a run and start for first class, you get caught in the net like a big old butterfly. Like those Velcro suit guys where you throw them against the wall. Exactly. I mean, it is on lockdown. It's like getting into Studio 54 is easier than getting into a first class bathroom. But because this man was so disgusting, he was able to beat the system. So he died. Hey, he showed these foreign airliner companies. He showed them that just with a pure American ingenuity, you can make it to the top.

All you got to be is too fat to shit in a normal bathroom. That's all you got to do. All right. Well, he certainly did that. So an unnamed air flight attendant. Now, of course, she accused this passenger of sexual harassment after describing how the man who claimed to have had surgery on his hand, threatened to relieve himself on the floor of the plane if the all female flight crew did not assist him in the restroom. This dude was 440 pounds and this story, it's just so sad. So basically the air crew originally refused to wipe his fricking fat ass because it's disgusting and that's not their job. But hey, his wiping hand was in repair. His wiping hand had to be how much carpal tunnel did he have?

I'm trying to bury, get the little kernels of because, you know, for me, especially because I like the super thick toilet paper. So it's like you're getting wiped with a comforter. Sure. You're trying to get that past your folds. Let's take some dexterousosity. I think that's the term. I think dexterous hand. It could be. But we saw the picture of his hands in the photo of him just sitting comfortably in his wheelchair. I don't think that he did have hand surgery. I'm pretty sure he didn't. So the main flight attendant, she was like, OK, I'm the manager of this ship. I'll do it.

I'll do it. I'll do it. She put on three pairs of latex gloves and assisted him as he grown for her to go deeper. And then the first time she wiped, he said it wasn't good enough and he requested she did it again. I tell you what, if anybody knew that it wasn't good enough, it would have been him. I guess so. Also, dude, if I was talking to Brooke about this, you're just going to be in the bathroom now for the rest of the flight. And because he wouldn't let them shut the door either, I would have jammed the door shut like I was getting on to a Japanese subway. I would have jammed him into the bathroom, locked the bathroom door and be like, this is where you hang out now.

I'm not touching you. I really think you could maybe do because I don't know if they do this anymore. But I know back in the day, if you are a flight attendant, please tell us if this is true or not. I know that sometimes they have calm down medication. They have things where people are freaking out on a flight. You can give them, not like Xanax, but they can kind of dope you up. I don't know if this is old school or if just flight attendants have this to begin with. They're just loaded with Xanax because they have to work on four-hour time windows at a time.

So I wonder if you could do a thing. Well, you just grind up the pills until like a ginger ale or something. You just give it to him and you put him to sleep and then you just roll him next to where the food would be once the food service is done and you shut the little curtain and you just let him sit in there. I mean, maybe unlike Mr. Fuji's airline, of course, that's a famous wrestler who used to spray things out of his hand or out of his mouth. There was a bunch of wrestlers that used to use this spray. I think Papa Shango had a bit of a dust spray as well that would leave his opponent incapacitated, incapacitated. So that could work, but this is one of the most interesting things about all of this.

The airline, this is the EVA Airways, which by the way, they seem like they are number one in customer service. Honestly, I want to start flying them. Like if you're willing to do this, then you definitely will bring me a third Sweetwater 420 if I want it. I think so. Yes, I think they'll bring you extra nuts. They'll bring you extra food, two dinners, whatever you want. Evidently, if they're willing to go this far, just imagine the small requests that the peasant people that Henry, like Henry and myself will make. All we want is just a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T and they think they would give that to us.

It did sound like you spelled Ref-Bect. It sounded like you said R-E-F-P-E-C-T. No, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. No, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Oh my goodness. No, I would not do that. But anyway, the interesting thing about this, other than everything else, the EVA Airlines are going to refund the cost of all of this dude's unused airfare to his family. Why are they being so nice to this man and his family?

He was on the list forever not to fly. They still let him fly and now they're going to give this to another generation of deeper and deeper people? If anybody out there can help figure out who the fuck this guy is, because I want to know, because it does sound like... I'm not going to put it, Thailand is going to be beautiful in Taiwan, I imagine. I've heard all of wonderful things about traveling in these areas, but it seems to also be unfortunately well known for its sex tourism. So I wonder if he had something to do with that. Someone who has that many miles, because we travel quite a bit, but it's like, I don't have that many miles. No, but I don't have time.

No, I don't go to these foreign countries. I wonder if he's got something to do with the job that he has. I wonder why they're sort of covering it up. Yeah. I mean, I guess, good night, sweet angel. And at least you'll say a thing about him is that he did not go gently into that good, good night. No, he definitely did not. And dare I say, not many people are mourning the loss of one of the worst airline passengers in the history of human flight.

But nonetheless, God must have needed someone to hang out in his weird God bathroom. And maybe this was like, God is like, I need someone to punish the angels. Give me deeper, deeper guy. I'm going to have an angel on his butt duty. We seem to have a leak in a pool here in heaven. And the only thing that'll fix it is jamming in this 420 pound man's soul into the hole. Look at him just being like, yes, yes, yes. Excellent.

What if, oh, I have an idea of about a nine book series that I never complete. And they just stick them in there and all the fucking water exists. But then all water kind of maybe would fully clean out of his asshole. Exactly. Like a giant bidet. At the wonderful world of heaven. Absolutely. So there you go, deeper, deeper guy.

You're gone. Hopefully all airline stewardesses can breathe a sigh of relief that indeed he will never be on one of their flights. But isn't it the saddest thing in the world that we first covered that topic on the day after of our friend Kevin's passing? It's strange. It was January 22nd that Kevin died. We needed to laugh, I guess. Yeah, we did. Some people said we were a little insensitive the way we covered it.

But I actually thought we needed to laugh. And sometimes in life when you're dealing with true actual death, like we are, I mean, obviously this guy is dead. But I'm just going to say Kevin's death was a little bit bigger. I think so. For me personally. I think so too. For me as well. Yes, yes.

You got to laugh. No, yeah, you got to laugh. You got to laugh. And this fucking piece of shit going down. I think that this may have been the article I was sent the most. Oh, it absolutely was. In terms of side stories, between this and the Polish, the Polish pirate that helped the Haitian Revolution during that time period of the 1800s, these group of Polish pirates hate them and that caused the then new president of Haiti to call Poland the new white Negroes of Europe.

Yes, I know what you have been ranting and raving about. Anytime the Polish people are seen in a way in a in the light of persecution, anytime the Polish people are perceived to be victims of mass persecution, Henry will start tweeting and texting and just won't shut up about it. And I'm just going to say, Henry, your people are fine. The Polish people are. We were always out in Green Point, Brooklyn. The Polish people are everywhere and it looks to me like they are consuming a lot of booze and having a lot of fun. You're painting this in a different way.

It is not about them being victims. Is that celebrating being victims? That's a story about Polish heroes that I aim to be so that the people in Warsaw can look up to and see, oh, a man of a Zabrowski stature can indeed make it in this world. Absolutely. And of course, what deeper, deeper guy did is horrible. We hope the flight attendants are well compensated because they deserve it after that horrible experience they had to go through. I can guarantee you they are not. I think it's horrible.

Fly from your grave. Fly from your grave. Well, let's move on to another little tale here. Now, Henry mentioned the Polish people, so let's talk about pigs. You piece of shit. This is a very inspiring story that I'm really, really excited about. Scientists have discovered that they could keep pig brains alive ten hours after death. And legitimately, the first reaction from a bioethicist was, holy shit. Really? That's the exact same reaction we would have had.

I don't know. Holy shit. The bioethicist, this man is theoretically a woman, is theoretically a genius, and their vocabulary is the exact same as two podcasters. Well, it just shows that they were completely wrong. They did believe that somewhere between 10 to 15 minutes after a mammal's brain is cut off from oxygen, that organ is supposed to die. Right? The cells of the brain, they starve. Some of the cells burst open while the chemistry of others becomes so imbalanced that their membranes break down. And the whole point is that you end up dead permanently. Right.

But this new study that was published in the journal Nature is saying that they figured out a weird loophole. It reads like an adaptation of Mary Shelley, but it's a little bit less dramatic than Frankenstein. Yeah, Frankenstein's monster, it wasn't like Dr. Frankenstein was just reanimating a pig brain and being like, and now the kids are scared, yes it's a pig. Because I don't think the pig brain would go up to the young girl near the lake and be like, boo, because it's a brain. It would be scary to be in the same room as it. Yeah, sure. You know what I mean? Just for him to go like, holy shit, and it's just a vat of brain just bubbling.

I mean, this is real life reanimator, which of course a reanimator is one of the greatest 1980s sort of splash horror movies. It's like a splash gore kind of horror film. I'd say, yeah, it's what we learned from Joe Bob, but it's an exploitation film, and you should check it out. Honestly, he covers it really well in his Shutter series at The Drive-In. And every Friday night, it's so much fun to watch his show on Shutter. Have you been doing it at all? I have indeed, yes, love it. It's a lot of fun.

So the researchers took 32 brains from pigs slaughtered for food, and they waited four hours. Okay. So that must have been fun. They were just hanging around just staring at brains all day long. Yeah, what do you do? You eat a bologna sandwich? I guess so. Yeah. Then they hooked them up for six hours to a system called BrainX, which pumped these brains fill with oxygen, nutrients, and protective chemicals. At the end of the 10 hours, scientists found that the tissue of the pig brains was largely intact compared to controls.

Now, individual brain cells were up and running, performing their basic duties of taking up oxygen and producing carbon dioxide. Now, to be clear, these things are not communicating. The brains, the neurons, they were not communicating, so there's no consciousness. But the cells, they are alive. The cells were alive! So the brains weren't like, hey, hey, hey brain, how are you? How was your hell journey? Oh, it was pretty good. I had a nice time in hell. Good to be back on the slab, though. It'd be kind of interesting if pigs could go to hell.

I don't know where pigs go when they die other than inside of our bellies, most likely. My belly! I had pork chops last night. But it is, basically, it's one of those things that shows that we know absolutely nothing. Absolutely. They thought, pretty damn certain, that the brains just die and they don't come back and you can't regenerate them. So now it shows that you can, but it uses this weird-ass machine, this brain-X system, that I guess was developed under, this was like one of those. The brain-X system comes out of the National Institute of Health's Brain Initiative,

aka the Brain Research Through Advanced Innovative Neurotechnologies. This is part of President Barack Obama's moonshot project to map the human brain and create new tools to study it, which I am obsessed with. To me, this is how I'll live, like, crang, after. Well, that is exactly what I was thinking about. This is how you make a super villain. Why do they always do, why do they name these things like it was written by, like, Marvel or DC? Brain-X is such an ominous name for exactly what this machine does.

Brain-X sounds like something that Batman is going to have to, like, come and destroy Brain-X headquarters, or Spider-Man, because they have nefarious ends in mind. You and I think completely opposite sometimes, because I look at that as a cool name. It's cool for a comic book, Henry, but this is the real world. But guess what, man, chicken and egg exist for a reason. I believe a part of the reason why we're in this scenario that we are in is because 30-year-olds that are destroying our society right now, which is our generation, which is just destroying society, a part of what they're doing is making the 1980s real. They're making the dystopian things we used to watch, we're making them real.

But have they seen anything from there? Have they seen Reanimator or Escape from New York? Have they seen what the future looks like? And I hate to break this to everyone. There is going to be no hero named Snake coming to save the world. It's not going to happen. Jeff Bezos is not going to be a supervillain. You're living your life in fear. You're living your life in fear.

A part of what you have to understand is that with the adventation of these kinds of technologies, with all of this advancing and all this kind of stuff, there will be good and there will be bad. It is just what fate is. It is what we are destined to do. No, I understand that. We're destined to either reach the stars by separating our consciousness from our physical bodies and move in nanomachines up throughout the entire universe or we're meant to die like a bunch of starving monkeys on this rocks choked by our own waste.

Well, it is possible that that could happen. I understand there's going to be good and bad that can come from it, but the bad does almost seem to outweigh the good in some ways. I just watched more Boston Dynamic videos last night and now they're teaching their little robot. I know this is not a robot thing. I know the robot thing is not happening in this story until they put this brain inside of a robot, which, by the way, apparently, Cornell University is like making living, breathing, DNA-based automated machines. It's all coming together here.

And this is where it starts. You're just yelling at me. Y'all don't even speak. And part of this is that these robots eventually are the way we connect our physical bodies, our meat to technology. It is what's going to allow us to survive. Without this step, we will not survive because we, so far, are not doing a great job. We're fine. Everyone, I just...

We're fine, but we're not great. There's a difference between fine and great. Oftentimes when people want to feel great all the time, you know what they end up doing? Crystal methamphetamine until they die because they're chasing something. No, the problem is that they only feel great for a little bit. That's how crystal meth works, too. Crystal meth doesn't make you feel that great. It makes you feel confident. I'm just going to say this.

You know, this whole chasing of like, oh, I need to feel great. You know what's nice? Fine is nice. Fine is perfect. When everyone says, oh, I'm just fine, that means everything is fine. And shooting yourself in the foot, fine is always a lie. Fine means I can't tell you my problem. Because normally I would say, I'm like, I'm good.

If I say I'm fine, that means I just got done screaming. And now I am in a grocery store. And now you're fine. So there you go. I'm not fine. I am bottled up. Well, anyway, just I want to give an interesting quote here regarding pig brains. Once again, this is from Nita Farahadi.

She says of the experiment, quote, it was mind blowing. Kind of punny on accident. Kind of punny on accident. It was mind blowing. She goes on to say she's a she she studies ethics of emerging technologies at Duke law schools. She goes on to say my initial reaction was pretty shocked. It's a ground breaking discovery, but it also really fundamentally changes a lot of what the existing beliefs are in neuroscience about the irreversible loss of brain function. Once there is a deprivation of oxygen, we just don't know how anything works.

So here I'm going to look at this machine. It's a crazy looking thing. I don't even know what it is. So it is a brain chamber, right? So four hours after their slaughter, the pig brains were attached to the brain next device via the carotid arteries. You could think of the device as something like an artificial heart. It pumps a profusate, a synthetic blood that delivers oxygen and nutrients throughout the brain via the pigs own arteries. Oh, that's interesting.

The profusate also contains chemicals that stop the oxidation, i.e. breakdown of body tissue and stop apoptosis, which is cells bursting after death, which also contains a neural activity blocker, which purpose of which is twofold. One is to halt excitotoxicity, excitotoxicity, a process by which neurons become damaged when they are left turned on, creating a chemical imbalance also leading to cell death. The other was to make sure that the brain didn't wake up and regain any level of consciousness. If any consciousness was detected via EEG, the researchers said they would have to shut down the experiment immediately. Oh, that's fucking sweet. I mean, honestly, they are very concerned about literally having to scream, It's alive! It's alive! They just don't want to scream that, or if they do scream that, they have to shut down everything. It really is a, I know Mary Shelley was used as a sort of analogy before or reference before, but it does seem something that is a little bit out of, you know, Frankenstein and the lore that it belongs to.

But they say right here is that apparently when they cleaned all the shit out, they looked at it again and they're like, Honestly, they believe that they could get them communicating again, that there's no reason they would not stop communicating if you left the brain plugged into the machine. So they would communicate through this machine? I don't know. Interesting. Well, we have to figure out what communication is, we have to figure out how do you connect all of those neurons into a thing that can live, because I'll spend a good year or two in a jar and me just going like, Fuck you, Kessel, fuck you, Kessel, like from like a little speaker in a machine. That could be fun as shit. Well, that could be a good podcast.

So obviously, there are some good things that can come from this. I'm being a little bit hyperbolic, but some of the good things is if people are brain dead. This is a quote here regarding the attempts to resuscitate people who are declared brain dead. They say, quote, it could become harder for physicians or family members to be convinced that further medical intervention is futile. So if it saves some lives, I think that would be wonderful. But it is an interesting thing. I think it's very cool. It is very cool, Henry. I give you that. But I will also grant you, I do believe philosophically that we should die, that there should be an endpoint. We are, because if you just look at the numbers of bodies on this planet, it does need to dwell, dwindle. Like it does need to fucking stop at some point because we, you know, where are we going to put these people? Where are these humans going to go?

Like if all these people are living forever, where can they go? Which is why I would volunteer. You take my brain in a jar. You send me to Mars. We start doing the mass exodus over to Mars and we start bioengineering Mars, which they think they might be able to do with the water that's left on Mars. All that weird frozen water. And, you know, we start a new civilization there where I won't be a persona non grata because I'm a 2B. Which is, I imagine the new racism that will start. I think test tube kids, they already exist and I do think they deal with some blowback, which is not right. What if you live in a test tube? What if you do live in a beaker? I just want to say whether born in a tube or born in a womb, you have rights and no one, no one should be rude to you.

But I am interested. It is funny to me that you would think that they would want to seed Mars with Polish brains such as yourself. Do you really think if we go to Mars, and we are, I mean, we're seeding it already. We're putting human beings out there. Do you think you're going to be on the list of even the one person, like, who is taking you? The administration would have to take office to be like, we need that Zabrowski DNA, not just here on Earth. It's selfish for us to keep the genius genomes that are confined in the body of the Zabrowski. We better send him to Mars. Space needs comedians. And we will, they will need some of us. They will need some of us. You can't, you can't fit in a shuttle. If you look at that, honestly, it's perfect for me to go as a brain because I don't have to deal with the physical discomforts of space travel. There's going to be a lot of physical discomforts. It's not going to be fun. Like you, yes, you were bound to this rock because of your size.

I don't even like to fly in planes to go to another place on this Earth. So I don't particularly want to go to Mars. I can't wait to encamp my brain. I can't wait for my brain to shoot off of me like a shuttle and be moved towards skies. You need people with big, big ideas. And yes, some ideas are not great, but I have a lot of them. And sometimes it really is about quantity over quality, no matter what all of the geniuses that have created everything great in this world have to say. Well, honestly, you go to any supermarket in America and I think quantity over quality is the going narrative and theme there. Also in space, I just wrote an interesting article on Mark Kelly. He's an astronaut who is a twin brother who was not in space. Well, he was in space and they say his body aged slower when in space. But then when he came back to Earth, it accelerated the aging almost to catch up with his twin brother, which is kind of interesting. So you would live longer, I think, in space.

It does sound like one of those experiments that reminds you that NASA was created by Nazis. It's like one of those where they use humans as their guinea pigs. Every once in a while, you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot. You guys did a really good job of making me forget that we went to the moon with Nazi rockets, but every once in a while, you're correct. Absolutely. All right, so it's possible we live in a world like Lawnmower Man in the very near future or like the four mentioned reanimator. Okay, but also imagine that me eating pussy with a disembodied head. I don't want to imagine that. Keeping them keeping my wife happy. All right.

So I want to cover this real quick. Yes, I said it's finally came down on David and Louise Turpin who imprisoned their 13 children for years or decades. On January 14, 2018, one of the children escaped and contacted police who upon entering the home found some of the children in a dark, foul-smelling room. The siblings ranged in age from two to 29 with seven of the 13 children being legal adults at the time of their parents' arrest in January 2018. Now, this topic got a lot of attention when it first hit the news in January of 2018 because, namely, you've got David Allen Turpin's beautiful bull cut, which seemed to capture America. It really did. I mean, it seems like obviously we have 13 children here, violently, physically, emotionally abused by these two horrendous parents.

We're going to talk a little bit about what religious philosophy they held as to why they basically incarcerated and tortured their 13-year-old kids. But you're right, Henry, it seemed to me like most of the attention on social media was the man's hairstyle. How bad does your hair could have to be to have that be the lead? And then secondary is the 13 counts of massive, massive child abuse. All I know is that he does look quite a bit like Jeff Daniels' character from Dumb and Dumber, which I know I can see why, like I can see why people are into it. But it was also, it was the optics of it. What they were just so, just to long story short, first thing out, they were sentenced a couple of days ago to 25 years to life in California, which is the equivalent of first-degree murder. So they were, for destroying these people's lives, when some of these kids are now kind of out and they're doing, but go through a little bit of the details of what they did.

The 13 starving siblings were held captive in a California house. They hardly ever saw the sun and were allowed to eat only one rationed meal a day and shower once a year. They were allegedly beaten, choked and shackled to their beds with no access to a bathroom for months at a time for supposed offenses like playing with water, which is what they were punished with when they washed anything below the wrists of their hands. Their parents would buy toys, the prosecutor said, but I'll let them play with them, literally house them all over the house, still within their packaging. They would also cook delicious foods like pies and lasagna and all that stuff and leave it out for them to smell like it's some horrible mix-up of Garfield and 8mm. It really is horrifying, so one of the daughters said, this is what she had to say, and I, for, you know me, I'm like, okay, we need criminal justice reform. I think over-sentencing is a real thing.

In this case, 25 to life, they're 57 and 50 years old, the parents, I think that's just, just fine. They don't necessarily need to see anymore. They don't need to be on the streets after what they've did to these kids. So one of the daughters said, my parents took my whole life for me, but now I'm taking my life back. She says, I'm a fighter and I'm strong. A son told the Riverside Court, I cannot describe in words what we went through growing up. Sometimes I still have nightmares of the things that happened, such as my siblings being chained up or getting beaten. These people are true, true monsters, and I am extremely happy they were finally caught.

But what, it took 20 frickin' years of this amount of child abuse before anyone noticed. Something's kind of wrong in the turpenhouse. It's very interesting. Perpetrators David Allen Turpin and Louise Ann Turpin, they were born, when they got married, David was 23 and Louise was 16. They started dating when David was 20 and she was 13 years old. They couple, they eloped, which got a, her father, Louise's father was a church pastor, got him super, super upset. And they ran to Texas and immediately started having children. Now apparently it turned out that Louise was a victim of sexual assault from a member of the family.

They believed that they was by their grandfather. And that they, it was a weird, detailed version of the grandfather was obsessed with witchcraft, satanic rituals. All this kind of stuff, they blame satanic rituals on child molestation. We don't like having sex with children. We like having sex with big-dicked men and big, beautiful women. Grown women. Okay, well the way that you, no one asked you if you didn't. It makes me mad.

Okay. So they basically moved to Fort Worth, Texas, and they started having children. And somewhere within this time period, they started, I mean, just mass producing kids and keeping them inside the house. It seems to be some weird sort of twisted version of love between David and Louise, the idea of protecting these kids. What seems to not have something to do with a movement called the quiverful movement that they sort of discovered within a period of time of spiritual exploration that they went on to find a religion that fit them. Because they were a part of this, a very low-level version of Christianity, but then they went very, very severe when they broke off from their own families. So let's get into this a little bit, this quiverful movement. Just before we do that, just finally here regarding the court proceedings, Louise Turpin, this is her statement that she read in court.

I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt my children. I love my children so much. I only want the best for them. Their happiness is very important. Bullshit! Bullshit! Yeah, okay, it doesn't really seem like that's the case. And then David Turpin, his sentence read partially, my homeschooling and discipline had good intentions. I'm sorry if I've done anything to cause them harm. Are you kidding me? Really? Well, it comes from what seems to be a mentality between this world of what's called quiverful Christianity, which quiverful means literally like a quiver filled with arrows,

is a movement of very conservative Christian couples. It's also called providentialism, where essentially the idea is to fuck and have many kids as humanly possible. The idea is that they believe that the concept of go forth and multiply was supposed to be taken literally, and you're supposed to create as many disciples of God as you can within your own family. Now this is just, that is a section of it. Now we don't really know what specific branch of this type of conservative Christianity that they followed. But one good example is this is a group called the Institute and Basic Life Principles that was run by a guy by my name, Bill Gothard. That is a, it's an insidious group that sort of creates this concept of true patriarchy. They also run a, they have all these shell companies, like one is called the ATI, which is the, I believe the Advanced Training Institute,

which was a homeschooling section because all of the Turpin family was obviously homeschooled. The more they were homebound, the less, less decided that they saw, and they had become, I believe it was called the Sunny Dune School. I forget the name, but what he would do is the Advanced Training Institute was supposed to teach parents and kids how to homeschool themselves under the actual teachings and belief systems of Bill Gothard, which is this umbrella system, which is, it came as a reaction to the hippie movement in the 1960s. Well, Bill Gothard, this fundamentalist Christian basically said, the problem is that our children have lost all respect for authority. So we have to reteach an entire generation how to respect authority by creating a hierarchy within our home, which is God is the ultimate umbrella. The thing that is just below God is the dad, and just below that is the mom, and just below that are the children. And that the father needs to be viewed as a representative of God in this world.

And of course what happens when Bill Gothard is daddy of the entire institute, daddy gets first lick at every single virgin that comes in. And that's his first question of every single child that's brought into, every woman that's brought into the ATI, which is also he started a very short-lived boarding school where he would bring children in to teach them 24-7, these various teachings. And the first question would be, are you a virgin? It honestly sounds like that horror film that I watched recently, which I highly recommend, Level 16, little under the radar, but great movie. That is a really good movie. So this is an offshoot of evangelical Christians, the Christianity that really grew as Henry was talking about as sort of a protest to the 70s, the 60s, and the 80s. As a matter of fact, there's a book that I, this may have been in my house growing up.

It's called The Way Home, Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, written by Mary Pride, and obviously she is on the forefront of this quiverful movement. And as Henry mentioned, obviously the quiver, it's usually filled with arrows, but in this case those quivers are babies. But they're arrows for Christ, right? Yeah. Because the idea is that each one of them is supposed to issue forth the message of God. In her book, Pride chronicled her metaphorical journey away from what she labeled feminist and anti-natal ideas of happiness. Within she had lived as an activist before conversion and conservative evangelical Christianity. Now, because she was a former evangelical Christian, that's why I don't like extremists, like the extremist mind can be manipulated to have a different philosophy.

Like when you lose a friend to evangelicalism, it's usually the friend that was most like, let's party and do non-stop drugs. And then they're like, let's not party and do non-stop praying. Is it super cool? Yeah. It's like, okay, I got it. Both sides of you are horrible. So it really is fascinating. And that's what these philosophical beliefs lead to.

I mean, there are 15 children being violently and physically abused for 20 years because they got bought into this quiverful society. Obviously, this is also a mainstream idea. If you look at the reality television show, The Duggers, that isn't that outside the realm of mainstream thinking. And the Duggers are active members of the Church of Bill Gother. They met with him, they are hand-taught. I would say, honestly, do your own research and research a little bit about the Institute in basic life principles. And you can see all these worksheets. There's all these various PDFs of the way they teach you, the way they break it down, the way they sort of slowly but surely twist the personalities of children to believe in this concept of pure authority and make it so that you are an automaton within your own family. But some of the details of just the Turpin case are very interesting.

Obviously, they haven't been all, a lot of it has not been released because due to the respect for the victims, nobody wants to talk about a lot of exactly what happened. But Louise Turpin's sister came to visit them for a short period of time. She said basically, when they had moved to Fort Worth, they went to Fort Worth, they stayed there for 10 years until they basically stopped paying their bills. They ransacked the house. When people came to go, when they finally moved to California where they had ended up being arrested, the whole place was covered in human shit, whole fucking, they found that beds with fucking ropes attached to them. They found doors to the children's, obviously the children's room that had scratches on the inside of the wood. But before that, she went to go stay when they were a new mom and she said that she was subject, she was a full grown woman because she had missed her sister, she had missed being around her because Louise and David had sort of completely rejected normal society. She's like, they wouldn't let her use the phone. She wasn't allowed to have guests coming in. She's like, okay, all right, this is kind of a conservative or whatever.

But they started doing this thing that every single time she took a shower, David and Louise would come into the bathroom. They would open it using a screwdriver. They would open it if it was locked and they would stand and she would have to come out of the shower and they'd have to watch her dry herself. And she tried to say, no one ever fucked me, no one ever, they never touched me, but they'd watch me because it was all of this weird shit. David also believes, there was one thing they said that David Turpin did, one belief that they said the reason why he tied up the kids was because he would keep them in a room to make sure he would not abuse them. Because apparently there might have been abuse of at least one of the daughters. Oh, I would think so. I bet you the sexual abuse was rampant in that house. The details will probably come out in a book, I'm assuming. We could cover that at some point on last podcast. I don't know. It's just such a disgusting, sad story. These people are, they really are just nasty, nasty. Some of the nastiest people we've covered, honestly.

This stuff is, but the thing that also captured people's imaginations were these vacation pictures of David and Louise with all 15 of the kids and the Dr. Seuss. Like, they went through 15 shirts and them getting their, watching their, you could see their vows get renewed. They did it three times in Vegas where they take all the kids out. But there's a really good 2020 about the Turpin case that I watched that was very thorough. But if you want to watch those Vegas wedding chapel videos, they're pretty haunting. When now you think about what was within their world, the Turpin children, they've been planning an escape for fucking two years. So finally, one of them broke out. They had taken one of those disconnected cell phones. They had, they had scurried it away and dialed 911 to go and basically say, my sisters are being abused and started like, basically dumping all of this stuff on a 911 operator being like, my sisters are chained up. I am frequently abused. We're not allowed to eat. We're not allowed to wash. And so the cops came, luckily, came really quickly and dumped the whole place and broke them all out.

All right. Well, a hero, those officers were heroes and thank God those kids are out and it's going to take a lot of therapy for them to get better wherever they are. They're probably in the foster care system. I hope they're being well taken care of. Well, they say Fiverr in college, Fiverr in college, a couple of them are in assisted living homes because they said they were in such a case of malnourishment that some of the kids, they said one of them, the eldest 29 year old woman, she weighed 82 pounds. And the 17 year old, like if you listen to that 911 call, I didn't isolate it because it's in the middle of that 2020 report. If you listen to that 911 call, she sounds like she's fucking 10 years old because they said that they were so unschooled. They had no clue. They didn't know what a police officer was. That's incredible. That's incredibly sad. All right. Well, that's the turpin case, at least a little bit. That's a little touch. Just a little bit of it. At least some justice was served in that case when it comes to the 25 years to life in prison for those worst parents ever. Perhaps they're definitely on the list. All right. Well, speaking of horrible people, I just want to talk a little bit about this story.

There's one element to this story that I think is funny. So George Zimmerman, we all know, he's the monster who murdered Trayvon Martin, got off because Florida is, as always, Florida. But George Zimmerman, he's trying to go on with his life despite the fact he also pulled a weapon on his other girlfriend. Oh, no, no. He's a troubled individual. Yeah, that's one way to total jackass. Anyway, he was recently banned from the Tinder dating app. The ex-neighborhood watch volunteer, by the way, not ex-neighborhood watch. That's in the article here. He's just a total, you know, he's like a stalker of neighbors. He is upset because he has been kicked off of Tinder. Now, evidently, Zimmerman used a fake name. So the only thing I want to talk about is his fake name. So you show up as George Zimmerman. Right. You show up on the date. You're like, hey, recognize me? Well, you know, I'm a bit of a celebrity. And then you just, like, do you just run away? You're not Barry Northrup. You said you were Barry Northrup. Are you George Zimmerman? What is the point of lying about your name on a Tinder app? At some point, theoretically, you would have to meet up with this person in real life. It's like when, and I love adult actors and actresses, sex workers are great,

but it is always really funny when they use a fake name in many ways because it is also like, I don't know, there's other ways to identify human beings. The name is honestly the thing that I remember the least. The face, I remember quite well. And in the case of adult entertainers, there might be some other things that strike a little memory there. A little memory there, too. But I love a fake name. I love a fake name. But in that, and of course, in that case, it's absolutely fine and wonderful. But at the same time, if you're George Zimmerman using a fake name, that is, he needs to go, he needs to have like plastic surgery, like the movie Face Off. He needs to just become John Travolta. And then maybe he can start dating at some point. But I'm assuming he'll drop some really bizarre white nationalist rhetoric on you at one point. And then you will be like, wait, are you George Zimmerman? Wait a second, I recognize those talking points. I think that he is, I think he should be in jail. Oh yeah, for a series of things. I don't think he should be dating. I won't, I'm not going to say he's not going to find love though. I don't know. There is a lid for every fucking pot. I could see him and Casey Anthony getting together. I could see him and Atanya Harding getting together.

Because DiCaprio once explained that to me, that was one of the things he did say at some point when we were the very brief moment in my life. I got to be near him, where he said that he's like, I can't date normal people. He's like, I just can't date. We got nothing to talk about. If you're not super famous, it's going to be very difficult for us to have anything to connect on, because my life is this kind of, it's this very kind of closed up life. And I need people to understand where I'm coming from. Where I imagine George Zimmerman, you would need to find somebody else that just barely didn't go to fucking prison for fucking first degree murder. First degree murder. Zimmerman and Anthony. I could see the Zimmerman Anthony wedding. That is possible. Although we have to remember, Casey Anthony, she is hashtag brave because she had her RGB shirt on. So she might be a little bit left. And I don't know if her and George Zimmerman could really get together and see eye to eye on political differences. Although now that I think about it, Casey Anthony, representing the more liberal mindset, George Zimmerman, the more conservative needs to be a show on CNN immediately because that will get their ratings up. And they can finally be seen as a viable network again.

Two steps forwards and two steps back. They come together because both it's attracting, you know, and you can see that video with them. The Casey Anthony and George Zimmerman show. And it'll be in front of a live audience. They'd be like, let's go. And they have like, they do this thing and they vary it for a big applause break where they both get into nooses. And they're like, yeah, yeah, like it's nooses. Honestly, the way that this world is going, I would not be surprised if Zimmerman and Casey Anthony do somehow create a project that will make them more money. Of course, we haven't, you know, to follow up on the hustler thing regarding Casey Anthony and going back to a, well, I don't even want to put her in with sex workers. They're much better than she is. She is not a sex worker. No, but she did. She has yet to say yes to the 500K presented to her by hustler for obviously a nude photo spread.

She hasn't said yes yet. I'm wondering what's taking her so long. What's going on? She's in the news more regularly now every day. I bet you these contracts take a little bit to carve out. I imagine you have to talk about being like whether or not you're going to be explosive to hustler. How much pee do you have to provide? Because then that's what's difficult. Like, are you one of those? Are you pee shy or can you pee like right on fucking contact? Because hustler, you need to have that secret talent, which is you can perfectly bathe your ankles.

You know, you've seen this. I don't know if it's photoshopped, so I'm not certain. But the way they get the little splash of pee, that's so delicate. It's delicate stuff to say the least. Have you ever said a really nice gelato? Uh-huh, of course. It's like that. Yeah, just like that. Little splashes.

Either way, if you are on Tinder, don't be afraid. I mean, other than the fact that of anyone that you meet on Tinder, I've never done it, but that's kind of horrifying. But yours never meant no longer. You've never done Tinder? I've never done any dating app at all. Ever? No, I never did it. I did it the one time.

I don't know, technology is weird, man. Although I will say this, Henry. You cannot trust people on Tinder. I will say it. No, you cannot. It is difficult. You are putting them in your life. You really need to vet these people.

But yeah, Tinder is kind of a whirlwind. It's a very interesting experience. We have to get to our... Yeah, so that wraps up the George Zimmerman portion of the show. But this has been years ago for me. Years ago. I know with Tinder. I know, I know.

You're not incriminating yourself here. But speaking of apps, just really quickly, Henry. This is a Ben Kissel recommendation to you. Download the Citizen app. It shows... I already got it. You got it? I already fucking got it.

Citizen app is the greatest app ever for those out there. It alerts you of all the police calls. I don't even know how they get this information. Because they post it. Because you can join as a member and you can post things that are near you if you want to. And that's how it works. It's because Natalie won't let me get a police scanner. No, this is better than a police scanner.

It's better. You don't want a police scanner. I know, but the Citizen app. If you're listening and you want to know, for example, I just clicked on it 38 minutes ago. You know what happened? A bathroom fire. Firefighters have declared the fire is under control. Firefighters are on the scene of confirmed fire in the bathroom.

Firefighters believe they can bring the fire under control with current resources on the scene. Anyway, there's a bathroom fire on 141st Avenue. Henry, if we would have gotten this 38 minutes ago, we could have hopped in a car and we could have gone with all of our Poland spring water bottles and put that fire out. Next thing you know, we're heroes. All I know is I got one here for man exposing himself. Oh, that's a good thing. Go clothe him.

Go put clothes on. And that's just an Instagram influencer in Los Angeles, though. That's the difference. It says man exposing himself. And then you show up and it's just guy handing out his fucking mixtape. And like with behind those big angel wings painted on a wall that he's taking pictures in front of. Absolutely. So the Citizen app, it's interesting.

That is not a paid advertisement. They paid us fucking nothing. Nothing. Nothing. No, we don't know how to make money. That's one of our problems. We just can't. That's our fucking problem.

All right. Well, let's do the hero of the week, shall we? Recordings of number stations. I love listening to them. All right, so the hero of the week. This one goes that it's a sad tale. Indeed, a comedian has passed away on stage in Bicester or I think it's Bicester. Is it Bicester?

Bicester by Ian Jester. Bicester. But Jester. So Ian Cognito has passed away. He was a 60 year old comedian. He sat down on the stool while breathing heavily before falling silent for five minutes during his show on Thursday. But people were freaking out. They were laughing.

They thought it was a part of the bit. Yes. They thought it was part of the bit and he was he passed away. They say he was one of the best. He was a proper comedian. He was a comedian's comedian. And it sounds like he was one of those dudes who lived hard, played hard. And his humor was, it was sort of British Sam Kinnison-esque.

I guess he was a little like brash. Obviously not exactly like Sam Kinnison. I don't think that that material really translates to 2019. No. Go to the fucking stand. Go to the fucking, go to the food. Go to the fucking food. But Ian Cognito is this week's hero of the week.

Died, you know, honestly, it's sad. He was 60 years old. So as far as comedians go, we're not quite as bad as professional wrestlers when it comes to early death. But at the same time, we're in the wheelhouse. I'll also say, man, that's the way to go. Yeah. That's really the way to go. We are like dying on stage, man.

I totally get it. Dying to a sea of applause and laughter. I am all about it. That's up there between dying on top of my wife with the fucking tequila flute in one hand and a sack of progis in the other hand. Well, that doesn't sound like your wife would be very satisfied there. It's interesting though. What do you think? Honestly, you're on stage.

We've been on stage all over the world. All of a sudden, you're dying and everyone is just like, cannot stop laughing. Uncontrollable laughter and you are dying. Does that make you feel good or is that the ultimate irony where you finally, it's almost like Jordan Peele's The New Twilight Zone with the comedian episode? Is that the ultimate irony where you finally get a huge laugh, but it's at the expense of your very life? Nah, buddy. I think that it's just, it's good energy to shoot you into the fucking cosmos. Yeah.

Like you got to be, you got to lean in and that's why it's just like you save one last big old fart. Well, perhaps Ian Cognito is in heaven now roasting the worst airline passenger of all time, deeper, deeper guy. And maybe that's, maybe God is just channeling his inner and Larson is like, let's put on a hell of a show. Roasts are popular right now. We're going to roast the Virgin Mary. She probably wouldn't like that too much. She would not. She is a proper human being who didn't exist.

Nah, probably not. They're probably all a amalgamation, an amalgamation. That's most likely what it is. So Ian Cognito, you are the hero of the week. All right, Pee My Man. And yeah, you can watch some of his clips on YouTube and again, just die. You're right, Henry. Dying, doing what you love.

There's a hell of a lot worse places. There's a hell of a lot of worse ways to die than that. Die with your boots on if you're gonna die. I love it. If I could die with your boots on, dude, fucking Iron Maiden, man. That's deep in my workout routine. There's about eight minutes into the workout of the 15-minute workout routine. That's great.

All right. And just lastly here, obviously we had 420 just recently. Hope everyone had a really good time. As I talked about on Ableton's Toppat. Don't forget about the people incarcerated for the exact thing that we all celebrated. But there was a crazy woman who went to Columbine. She is 18 years old. Her name is Sol Payes.

And she does not look 18, by the way. She went down to Colorado. She bought a shotgun and she's like, I'm gonna do some crazy stuff. Of course, she posted that all over social media and then people were like, hey cops, hey cops. There's a crazy person going down to Colorado to reenact what she believes was the scene during Columbine. Long story short, she ended up committing suicide as the officers closed in on her. Oh, this is this story. Well, I gotta get into that story.

I gotta read that. I didn't even get into it. I mean, it's just interesting because the Columbine, now we're 20 years deep. And it's so weird because this girl is 18 years old. So she wasn't born yet. It was two more years before she even existed. That's when Columbine took place in 1999, obviously. So it is strange just like kind of the folklore.

That's what I found interesting, the folklore around Columbine and just kind of where she got. So we can't actually do a deeper dive on her at some point. I just know we got that story and that was all over the national news media. And it's just a strange, Columbine has become such a strange little like bug light, for crazy people. It's very interesting. Because it's still the inner, their inner world is still divided. I think there's a lot of people that buy the main early narrative that they were bullied and that they were victims

and that they put their, they put their woe on other people. But then I like the new narrative and I believe in that the idea that they are in fact were bullies, which I do believe anybody that would go towards murdering as many human people as possible. I think that that probably means you're kind of a jerk off no matter what it is. Well, absolutely. I mean, it's funny because now CNN and they were on the front lines of this conversation. At that time, they have an ad now where it's like they show a picture of an apple and they're like, this is an apple.

Even as people tell you it's a banana, it's an apple. And Columbine, two assholes killed 13 kids and they're like, I can't believe they were bullied. It's like, no, they were not bullied. By definition, they are the people who are the bullies because they just shot up their school. So it is bizarre how media can put things through a different lens that is obviously fucking wrong. And that probably led, as Henry just said, to this psycho. I also wonder, do you feel like there's also a part of it is that I, you know, will never be parents. But I have heard that kind of concept that your teenager kind of becomes a stranger in the other room.

There's almost like a engendered sort of like fear of the other, but it's your own children. Where CNN like to put this idea of being like, they become this other like entity in that room while they're jerking off and growing hair and shit. But it's like, you know, you know, mostly you're just going like, I just wish that I could feel normal for a second. Just one second. And it is also very bizarre that this chick was just gone, just able to buy a shotgun. Don't really know why. At some point, don't you just ask like, why are you here?

Why do you need it? It seems to be right around the anniversary of Columbine. You seem to have like a bunch of Dilling, you have a Dilling-Clebel tattoo. What's going on? Like you have a tattoo with Eric Harris and Dilling-Clebel that just has gone too soon on it. It's the same thing, people that are sexually obsessed with Ted Bundy and all that kind of stuff. It just, it's a way to, it does feel like it's a anti-establishment way of looking at life and you want to make sure that nobody can pin you down.

You can be sexually excited to the bad boy. Like, and you're sick of the fake bad boys, you want to be sexually excited by the real bad boys. Yeah, by raging sociopaths. All right, well I guess that's, we have some more stories, but we can always cover those next week. It doesn't really matter. Yeah, of course. We can do this forever, so. Yeah.

We can always cover the stories. We'll just keep covering more stories. They shall be covered. Is there anything else, Henry? Do we have anything to say? Are we plugging anything? Oh, you know what? You know what I want to say?

You know what I was thinking about this week? We really fetishize negative thought on the internet. We do. We do. I think we strive to possibly be more positive and more like, hey, you can do it. You know, like, you get out there, you can change your shit. Just know for a fact, if you keep doing something in one direction, it's going to turn your way. The clock is going to, the hands of the clock are going to get to the point where it's your time,

no matter what. No matter what. No matter what, I'm talking about success. Yeah, absolutely. Of course, keep on working hard and we'll get there too one day. But anyway, yeah, just be, you know, try to be as polite as possible. I mean, the thing is, the internet is not real. We go all over the place.

We go to, we talk to people all the time. Everyone's, the vast majority of people are so extremely nice. It is funny, though, when you meet someone who is very nice in real life and then you're like, follow me on Twitter and then they follow you and you follow them or Instagram and then you see their Instagram and you're like, how are you so much meaner on social? I just taught you for two hours, you're very nice. It's important to remember, and I think what you said is just, is correct. The internet is not real.

It is not real. It is an extension of our subconscious. So we are, just, just know that it's, it's wish, it's, it is reality mixed with fantasy, mixed with the things that you want to hear, that you're a whole, everything you see because of the algorithms have completely fucking catered to your eyeballs. Yeah. You are being fed a menu that you ordered, and so nothing, you are being constantly hypnotized by what you see on your smartphone and on your computer.

Absolutely. And remember that. Absolutely. And just lastly, don't forget, hot slash, or hot-dog.org. We have to make Jackie Zabrowski the 2019 hot dog ambassador, and we're getting there. Eric. He's got it. Watch these nitrates.

He's got to start drinking some water. No, you're concerned. Eric Mittenthal, now his, his Twitter is at meet VP. Who is he? You ask? Well, he is the vice president of the national hot dog and sausage council. He tweeted at Jackie. He says, getting bombarded with hot dog ambassador nominations for at Jack the worm, yet no invitation

to join her podcast. So he might be on who knows. So he's angling for a spot. Jackie, you got to play to play. You got to pay to play. And in this case, I think pain is getting this dude on the pod. So there you go, hot-dog.org, hot-dog.org. Get Jackie Zabrowski what she's always wanted.

And Henry, you're right. We'll have to watch her nitrating intake, but this is bigger than that. It's about the sash. I know, I know, but it's just like, hopefully she can go like, oh, like, like bite to the side of it a couple of times. I just don't want her to lose her damn feet. She's not going to lose her feet because a couple of scrumptious dogs. Also, maybe they can do what Psalms do when it comes to wine, have a little hot dog spittoon.

I'm getting a little bit of a pig asshole. I believe that is, oh, that is an entire nitrate. Oh, the disgusting spittoon that would be full of once bitten hot dogs. There it is. It just smells like the fucking ass wipe guy from the plane. I'm sure it does. Oh, I can't even imagine what that dude smells like. So live your life.

Live your life like you just received your Miss Hot Dog of the Year sash and you got, and you got no creases in it yet. Love your new sash by getting it ironed and dry cleaned. Don't put it in with, I'd say wash it on cold. Yeah. It's not on hot because it tends to shrink and nothing would be sadder. I guess it should be tight. I guess the sash should be tight.

It's a hot dog. No, it should be. Hot dog ambassador sash. But shouldn't it be big enough to be, I think the sash has to be loose. Otherwise it's just going to. But if it's a tight, then you look like a cigar that is, that loves hot dogs, which I guess is good. Yeah. I don't know.

Like a Chewbacca type. You have a really nice tight Chewbacca belt. And laugh like your, your father or your best friend is tickling your bottom with a hot dog. There it is. Just laugh and laugh like your, like, like father's there and he knows that you're ticklish and he just wants to just hit you with the hot dog right about the ticklish part of your leg, which is the top of the back of your thigh, right where it meets the butt. All right.

Well, also evidently, according to my citizen app, 0.2 miles away from me is a stove fire, a stove top fire. So I'm going to go put that out here really quick and we will be back and talk to you next week. Thank you all for listening and supporting all the shows here. If you want to know more about the, the politics stuff, a blink and stop, and we talk about the Mballa report. And guess what, Henry? What?

We're not ending in that. We're not stopping that war in Yemen. We're back in baby. I am endlessly crushed by your news. It's horrible. Okay, everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan.

And thank you for listening by tickets Vancouver and by tickets Salt Lake City. Yeah. For our live shows. If you see a steward, if you see a steward or stewardess, shake their hand. Thank them for their service. Honestly, tip your flight attendant. Do you do tipping? Every once in a while.

If I'm going to drink a lot. Oh, okay. I didn't know that was a thing. Is that a thing? No, you know, it's kind of a little bit of a roper to near from analyze this kind of but it doesn't work. What about tipping the maid service from the hotels? Do you leave?

Always. You always leave money there. Always. Yeah, especially if I've really been rubbing my butt in all the services. All right, everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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