Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Political Immunity

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a man flies by LAX with a jetpack, the curious case of Flordelis dos Santos de Souza, a mother and son get way too close during quarantine, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

Hi everybody, I'm Cena Gazznavi and my co-host Justin Williams and I are working with the team from last podcast of the left to launch a new show called Fraudsters. That's right, we're like the Hall of Shame for scammers. This season we'll show you the future with Ms. Cleo. Call me now for your free reading. We've got Ponzi schemes, we've got crypto fraud, we've got catfishing. This will be a perfect podcast, 100% guaranteed or your money back. Cena, I think it's free. Oh, that's right. Fraudsters, starting next week, listen for free only on Spotify. There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk.

On the left. Side stories. I love your gliss. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes. I've even spent seven days eating mushrooms and playing Uno. Like psychological mushrooms? Psychedelic mushrooms? Psychological mushrooms.

Food mushrooms. No, I've been eating problem porcinis so I can really focus on what's wrong with me and how are we getting down to the bottom of the problems of me? Oh, that's great. Did you discover any? Nope. No, not at all. Each time I lift a manhole. You were taking your trip in shrooms and you didn't discover any possible flaws. Straight up, I just lift one manhole and it's like I go into a whole other dungeon.

And then there's a manhole in that dungeon and I lift it up and there's a whole other worse dungeon. The HH Homes Horror House lives within the mind of Henry Zabrowski. Three shoots going all the way down. Whoa, welcome to Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Henry. If I told you we didn't have a lot to talk about today, I'd be completely lying because everyone did everything wrong this past week. It's insane what happened. We have horse mutilations, we have people flying in the sky where they shouldn't be.

We have politicians having sex with their sons. Which I guess that's fairly par for the course. Again, remember if you're having sex with your child, if you marry them first, it's totally legit. I don't think that that's true, but we'll talk about that story in a second. As a matter of fact, Henry, Green Man's Choice, Green Hair Choice, where do you want to start this week? Alright, I want to talk about this popped up last night and it's just one of the stories. This is more to me. This is a fun story. FBI investigating pilots report of a guy in jet pack flying 3,000 feet in air near planes at LAX.

It's the drunk rocketeer. This is so much fun. This is a fun idea. Not if you're on the plane. Aw man, I would wave at him. No, you would not. Leave it rocketeer. You would freak out. I feel like a part of, maybe just the damage that has been done over the years.

Honestly, because I was talking about this, about how I wave at the end of every Zoom meeting. Yes. Even if it's important and there's important people on the end of it, I go, bye bye, bye bye. It's guaranteed. I'm going to say cute. And then the way you wipe the drool from your face, the way Natalie wipes the drool from your face. Bye bye, Mr. Bye bye TV show, please, Mr. But then this time, if I did see a rocketeer, because I think that just there's enough kernels of just, I don't know, looking for something wondrous to happen.

Sure. If I saw a man fly past the window, I'd just go, bye, Mr. Man. Hi, hi, Mr. Right, you don't think that you would freak out immediately, slam all the whiskey that you have right in front of you. The amount of airline bottles that we go through is fascinating when we fly. You don't think you would just start freaking out and screaming? I honestly, at this point, I'm so excited for anything different. Okay.

If a man with a rocket, a rocket pack, went past my house, I'd go up and be like, That's fine. Take me with you, rockin' man, take me with you. Aw, that'd be cute. It would be fun to experience something else. The idea of seeing the leaks of reality, you see things slowly pour through, but this is just a man with money. The Federal Bureau of Investigation is investigating after an American Airlines pilot, boo.

Delta, big ups to Delta. You have that much company loyalty. You go, Delta. Fuck you, American Airlines. Reported seeing a mystery person in a jet pack flying high above Los Angeles. It's Elon Musk. Okay, can I just ask this question? And I know you don't have an answer, but how does he burn his legs?

Because that was the thing with the rocketeer as I was watching it, even as a child, I was like, you're going to burn your legs because of all the flames coming out of the jet pack. How don't you do that? Flame retardant pants? Flame retardant pants. That's the only thing I can say. That's the only thing too. Because they have these jet packs apparently.

So when it comes to accuracy and detail and reliability, this is according to Fox 11, right? You'd probably rank airline pilots right up there. And you would. It depends on when you get them because if you get them after a flight a couple of times they're four gins deep and they have a lot of controversial views about the deep state. They'll let you know. But so when American Airlines pilot reported via radio to the control tower seeing a guy in a jet pack as he was approaching LAX at about 3,000 feet and 10 miles out for a landing,

you have to give it some serious credibility. And I do believe a part of that. So they're saying we have no clue. Based on some research by this reporter, they say, and I was sort of looking into it, jet packs can fly that high. You can get a high grade one. I don't know how it flies because I know they have the ones. You ever seen the ones with the water hose?

I've seen that but it doesn't look like there was any water around here. No, they put your uncle Bill in one of those and he's just like, I experienced that every Saturday morning after 30 Bud lights. How? With my butt. It's a poop joke. Oh, you're talking about shit? Kissle.

Will you ever grow up? Oh my God. Stop it. All right. Well, I have to say this. Number one, I think this guy, he flew too close to the sun. He did. And he's only 3,000 feet.

This case, the sun was an airplane and you got to be careful. He's going to get sucked into the engine. You've seen those videos on LiveLeak. He's going to end up getting pooped out the other side, mutilated, dead. And then who's going to provide for his weird space loving family? That's what happens when you have a father or a husband that lives to the sky. He's closer to a bird than a man. Yes, he is.

You're going to sit here and try to hold him down to the ground. You have to let these people fly because if not, you know what they do? Family annihilators. I completely agree with that. Put him out of the house, put him up in the heavens, otherwise he's going to kill you all. Exactly. This is the Martin Jack pack. The 200 kilogram jet pack.

All right. How much is that one? You can just buy this thing? You can just fucking buy this thing. I can buy this? I mean, it probably is too much money. 2 pounds. What are we going for?

This is a 400 pound jet pack. You see this thing? You strap into this. It's powered by AV4 two stroke engine. It's burning on a mode of gasoline. So you fucking fill it up at the gas station, which is incredible. Why aren't we just using these to get to work? Because everyone gets mad about, like they say, uh, it will fuck with like helicopters

and shit. But that's the fucking place to stay. Yeah, but you don't have to go 3,000 feet. You could also go 100 feet. Well, that's what I like to do. I fucking love to buzz people, but you can go for 30 minutes. You can fly at 3,000 feet. Why?

I'm not even joking. This needs to be the future of transportation. You started something like Gallagher. Do you remember when Gallagher went on that whole thing, but he wanted to buy helicopters and he said helicopters should replace taxis? Gallagher wasn't only right about comedy. He's also right about transportation. And I think he's on to something.

No, this needs to happen. But right now, what's going on is no one knows who this guy is. Efforts to find out more about the pilot went absolutely nowhere. Of course not. He's fucking in the sky. He's a bird. That's a little horrifying. Don't you think it's a little scary that they're just, you can just zip by a plane?

It's Tom Cruise. These are only a couple of people that would accurately, I mean, because it's, why are we doing this? Mostly, honestly, I'm trying to get laid. You're in a jetpack. I don't know. I honestly think a lot of this has got to do. Show on various people.

You got the jetpack. There's somebody down there. I want to say that you have some maybe new, the Anadiarmus, who's a new one of these Starlets, right? You're trying to impress her. You're a 60 year old actor. They won't ensure you anymore because you keep, you want to do your own stunts, but you keep breaking your fucking spindly legs.

No one does their own stunts, but Jackie Chan. And Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise to me is still, because he did technically rent a $700,000 barge in order to safely film the new Mission Impossible movie during COVID. He is insane. So if anybody would do it, it is Tom Cruise. He needs a jetpack to shoot past how much he wants to kiss every man he sees. He has to go up into the clouds because, yeah, these some people that say clouds are gay,

but guess what? Who says that? Some people. I didn't know. Clouds are clouds. Clouds are neutral. They look like penises, and sometimes it does look like a mouth second set penis in the clouds.

But that's only if you're creative in your mind. But Tom Cruise is up there. He's finally free. And then at the same time, he does double coverage by convincing whatever Starlet that he's grooming to be his new Scientology slave wife to be into it because then they get to ride in the jetpack and buzzle the planes and scare people. I think you were greatly Malania, one of the greatest American actors of all time and one of the greatest, one of the greatest crazy people of all time, Tom Cruise, two retired

pilots who currently teach and consult on aviation safety say they would absolutely believe the pilot in that situation given, quote, their trained eyes and visual awareness. So look at that. Which is also how they just, they pick the best wives. I don't know. You are. You are definitely onto something today. The pilot estimated the jetpack was only about 300 yards out of his window.

That's fucking killer. Three football fields away. That's so fucking killer. Hi, Mr. Rocketeer, man. Even if I was co-pilot, I'd flick the lights, you know, when you go and train, when trucks go by. I still do. I do the Hong Kong.

I love the Hong Kong. I love the Hong Kong. It's one of the only ways to have fun during quarantine. I agree. I love the Hong Kong. The drivers love the Hong Kong. You'd be surprised. I know.

How many cars honk when you do the honk motion? It is, it is something ingrained in us as a species when you see the arm go up. Hong Kong. You have to honk, honk. You have to honk, honk. You have to honk. Honestly, distanced, it's safe for you and the family. I suggest that, honestly, this weekend, go out and spend some time by your local highway.

Go on a bridge. See how many people you can get to honk at you. I bet you can get 100 people in an hour. And then you and your partner choose your weakest child and abandon them. I agree with that. All right. Well, that is the Jetpack story of the week, and I don't think we'll have one next week or next month.

I don't think we're going to have a lot more Jetpack stories until we get them used every single day by commuters who are going to work to make our lives better. That's what I said. But can you think about that, too? You go to work every day with your Jetpack. It's cool. And it's just like, you can see you're an accountant or you're like, you're a guy that takes all the discarded foreskins from the emergency room after all the circumcisions.

Like, that's your job. You take it to the biological hazard. Yeah, you got to take it to the waste department, but you do it in a Jetpack. Well, you don't even Jetpack inside, Henry. Yeah, you do it a little on the helipad. You land in the helipad. You get your garbage can all full of foreskins, and then you zip back to the cemetery. You bury all that shit.

That is how you create a demon. What about the jarring thing of you and your Jetpack fucking, you just smashed a bird. You destroyed a fucking bird. Well, you can get hurt by a bird. Birds will mess you up. A Canadian geese. I mean, the Canadian goose will kill you. I fucking hate Canadian geese.

I do, too. But they come in jackets. You've got to be an emotional whiplash from having such an exciting commute to go to your job. That's true. That's true. I think you would just stay in the air and just go somewhere else. It's like being in a Honda and driving to your job where you're a race car driver.

That's a good point, actually, Henry. Click. You show up with your little fucking... Sad. Sad. Yeah. You're driving your jerk mobile. Right.

And then you go into the F-115, and you just go, eew, eew, eew, eew, eew. You know a lot about cars. Yep. All right. Well, let's just change gears here for a second. I have been talking about what's going on on Pornhub for a long time. I know they have a controversy when it comes to what's happening with the children. They got to clean up the site.

They have to clean up the site. In other videos, in other different video aggregators for porn, to the same thing, they lump all of these mother and stepson situations. I don't... Mom's always stuck. I don't know what's going on. All I know is on the front page, it's always mother and son or stepdad and stepdaughter, whatever is going on, and people seem to be taking this a little bit too literally.

A mother and her adult son have been charged with incest after somebody caught them having sex in Massachusetts with each other. Ugh, where was this at, a Red Sox game? I got you fucking... I got you Red Sox fans. It's very possible. Cheryl Levoie and Tony Levoie. Okay, that's the...

Oh, same last name. Yeah, well, because it's mother and son, you see. But then for a while, though, when you go to hotels, you can kind of pretend that you're just married. Yes, of course you could. Cheryl is 64 years old and her son Tony is 43, so you don't see that trope so much on Pornhub. This is why you wanted to read the story, that's who he's at, and we were both talking

about this, is that I don't know why there's something that is... I mean, obviously, there's something about them being both over 40 that truly creeps me out. It's a choice they've made back in May. It's a lifestyle now. Well, Tony, of course, this is the son of Cheryl, who he was found having sex with. He also has a wife. Okay, so Tony has a wife.

He was cheating on his wife with his mother? This is what happens when you cancel, when you cancel freaking Maury Povich. These people don't have a platform, and this is why we have to discover them this way. This is why we need Springer back. So Tony's wife caught the two having sex at their home in Pittsburgh. Oh my God, the wife fucking caught them? Oh my God, I would commit suicide. Well, we don't know if she has or hasn't at this point.

This story is disgusting. How do you love Emma again? Okay, you don't. No, you're done. Because obviously, she's passed four. She's just done. She could have had another romance, but no, I mean, how do you even... How do you even broach the subject and feel like, oh, wow, you're divorced?

So am I. I'm so happy we met on divorceay.com. So what happened with you under your past relationship? Well, you know, our big thing is that we kind of had a communication issue. So honestly, we kind of grew apart over the years. So that's really why we kind of broke up, but what happened with you? Well, I walked in on Tony, remember Tony, who was my ex-husband. Yeah, you've mentioned him a couple of times and you scratch his name into the table a

couple of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And big, various, vicious exes, so far and over again. No, I still love him. I found him having sex with his mother, and he didn't invite me to join in, so I had to file for divorce. I have to tell you this, honestly, there's something so gross about your personal story that I can't have sex with you.

Great, another one gone. So Tony's wife caught them having sex. It was about 59 miles northwest of Boston. Insert your Boston jokes there. We love the people of Boston. And who knows what's going to happen in the Eastern Conference playoffs. A lot of things happening there. Why did you buy out a tube event to basketball?

I am desperately trying to get out of this story. You bought this up. I know because it's amazing. You know, both Cheryl and Tony separately told responding officers that it was the first time that they had sex, 64 and 43 was the first time. So they just decided they were so horny for each other in that moment after he's 43 years old. I don't know.

I don't know. God, you know what happens? This is the problem. This is one of those things that very seldom spoken about side effects of reading a prior love. Right, one of those, like, you know, live your life to your fullest, like, do the thing that you say you want to do that you've been neglecting, say, like, he listened to that song.

I don't remember the dot, dot, dot incest portion of Eat, Pray, Love. No one wanted that. Okay. They didn't understand that you could extrapolate it to that point because no one wanted to think like that. But if he sat and listened to that song, like, say what you want to say, let the words fall on the slide, on a silly way, and he's like sitting there, like, watching his mom and her sheer.

A 64-year-old mom and a 43-year-old son, that's what you're talking about. I don't want this. Okay. So when it came to the detectives being like, so what's happening here, they both had, they both had the same, they both said it was consensual, but they had slightly different answers. And if you thought this story was disgusting, it just kind of gets grosser here. And Tony said, I don't know, it just happened, and Tony's mother, Tony's, Tony's mother

on the other hand, told the officer, quote, the pair had become closer over the last several months and the sex occurred after they started kissing. I'm literally gonna fucking, I'm going to execute myself, I quit the show. Well, I quit. I can't do this anymore. Well, that was the mom's action. That was the mom's response. The mom's response was they've been closer over the past several months.

Oh God. And it's just such like a fucking. I can see my mom, my mom, that's how my mom talks about like the men from the Outlander series that she talks about. Like the two Scottish men, like a Scottish man with a kilt with no shirt on and the woman from the 1980s hanging by a creek and then these got closer and closer and other differences brought them together. This is mother and son.

This is mother and son. They started kissing after they became closer for the past several months. I just want to, I want to never exist. And apparently love, which I guess is what this is, maybe not. I don't know what this is, but they have been charged with incest, which is a felony. Their trial has been scheduled for October 27th, if convicted. And I actually don't know if this is fair or not. The pair faces up to 20 years in state prison, 20 years in state prison.

I don't know. I feel like they just have a sign outside of their house says that mother fucker dot, dot, dot, literally literally and then everyone would be like, Oh, that's the guy who fucks his mom. Like I don't know if prison really is needed here. I think the public shame when he goes to the local Piggly Wiggly and everyone's like, Tony, you fuck your mom's pussy smell. Fuck that mom pussy tonight.

You're like, I feel like that is worse than prison. I feel like we should be doing as much as possible as a society because media isn't, as we're seeing from Pornhub and we're seeing from these other sides. Sure. If that's all you consider more, I guess media, I guess Pornhub is kind of media, isn't it? This activity needs to be discouraged. I think that it is openly discouraged. I do believe so.

I mean, inside of it. Yes, sure. It sort of is because it's creeping deeper and deeper, deeper, deeper into our sexual fantasies because you're seeing it pop up and they seem to be making enough money off of this whole topic to do it. So maybe they do need to have a steep prison sentence so that they don't have sex with their mothers. What are you in for?

I had sex with my mother. That's what you get. That is not like, that's what you get. I think that maybe it should be six months of that. Yes. Five years of that. Five years of having to answer the question, what you're in for, I think is really, really important for them to learn the lesson.

I agree. Because there's some form of body, like you need a fucking body, but behavior modification has to get in there. Yes, I agree. But do we rehabilitate in our prisons? That's the question. That is a really good question. Or is it going to come out more horny for mommy than after?

Oh, God, yeah. You haven't been, you've been without mommy for so long, and then mommy is the one person that can visit you. This is a disgusting conversation we're having. You did this. This is the people did this. They did this. Tony and his mom did this.

Boston did this. Boston kind of also did this. And again. I'm sorry, Boston. I wish that you didn't. They have a great defense there. The Green Monster. Yeah, the Green Monster has just taken on a whole other meaning.

So anyway, that's going on in this country right now, just in case you needed to know. But apparently, mother-son relations aren't just unique to America. As a matter of fact, this next tale that Henry has brought to our attention, this involves more than just incest. Actually, I don't even know. Is it technically incest? Whatever it is. We'll find out.

We'll talk about it. We'll get into this. This is a story that I can only begin to describe. Truly, I feel like this is one of those kind of like, you should also look up information about this because it is twisty and turning. So weird. This kind of reminds me of the Lori Vallow, Chad Debel case, but it takes place in Brazil. There's a woman by the name of Flor Delis dos Santos de São.

She's from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She was a gospel singing Brazilian lawmaker. This is essentially like a congressperson or like that level in Brazil. I only know so much about Brazilian politics, which is literally absolutely zero. I know they have nuts, the Brazilian nut. I honestly don't even think that the Brazil nut is from Brazil. No kid. I don't know.

A series of lies. This is from Tom Phillips from The Guardian. Now this woman, she was a celebrity. She was a gospel singer, became very, very famous because it's a very famous rags the riches story. She was from the favelas of Rio de Janeiro. That is like their very intense, like low income communities that are often rife with a lot of chaos.

She made it. She made it. And it was a big story. So that in 2009, there was a movie made about her life featuring some of the biggest celebrities in Brazilian TV and movies. The Bumblebee perhaps showed up. That is Univision from 25 years ago. And honestly, I don't think it was.

I think it's just from The Simpsons. Okay. It's different. Disregard that as a listener. But this story. But regard the child having sex with his mother's story please. It has to. We did it.

We reported on it. We're reporters. We are officially reporters. So this story is. All right. So she made it. So there's a big deal. That 2009 movie was made for free by the all the actors and they raised money to help

house Florida lease and the 55 children that she slowly essentially accumulated by adopting for many years from the favela community. Right. I'll tell you this much. 55 children. If Angelina Jolie, and I'm not even going to say this out loud, but I will because I have to because it's audio. If we find out she's having sex with any of those kids she's adopted, that's going to

be a big story. Wouldn't it be? You're right. Yes. I really. And I don't want this. I don't want this. Yes, indeed.

There's a Twitter account called cringe control. I don't know. I can't speak to anything else that they post about, but I do know that they did a bunch of links breaking down the story. And so this is very, very interesting. So Florida lease, she had three biological children and had adopted five teenagers in the very beginning. And then what she called them her a kids right now, these are why they're called a kids.

He started getting involved with social causes, getting the number of, she ended up adopting 55 kids from the favelas. And so eventually this was a big deal, but she chose the first one of her kids was a man. He became a man. He became a man by the name of Anderson de Como. And so what happens is that as they, as he grew up, she adopted him when he was 14 years old and when she adopted him, she was just his mommy.

But then when they got older, they became a little bit more than mommy and son became husband and wife. Oh, wow. She married him. Right. So this was a very strange thing. You know, it seemed that they got very close. But now we're seeing that Anderson de Como was murdered.

He was murdered last year. He was gunned down inside of their home on the last year. And the singer, if the fans would just call her floor to lease and it looks like the, she said that he was killed by thieves, but it's starting to look like she's being accused of this crime, plotting with seven of the adopted kids to murder Anderson de Como. They shot him over 30 times in the dick. 30 times in the dick. I mean, I don't want to be rude, but in the groin, how big was that?

I mean, that's 30 times. It was, you got, I got a one bullet dick. I mean, one bullet, that thing's gone. I have a one bullet dick as well. My goodness. And so this is a story that is very, very intense, right? The first five adopted kids had pretty good lives, right? And the biological kids, the B kids that she called the people she started bringing live

in sort of like squalor, reported eating old pasta with sausages and dry bread every single day. Right. This all comes from. That is what I eat. That's what I eat all weekend. Right. And they have this kind of like initiation process where she took the, whenever she dops

a new child, they spend days dressed in white, locked in a room, eating only rice and vegetables. Your legends, and then they use their own blood to write Psalms. And then after a while, they were purified. And the way they get purified was you sleep with Florida lease. Oh my God. So she had sex with all the kids. Yeah. This isn't a, we don't know what's real or not.

We don't know what's real. All of this is starting to come out. So the last story seemed like it was on like a, like a PG made for a Hallmark movie. It seems there are texts pointed to her, but because she's an elected official in Brazil, she has political immunity. So she can't get charged with having sex with any of her children or murdering her husband slash child. Nothing.

But there's, there's a lot of different there trying to figure out like there's a lot of bullshit of why she did this part. She's very, very, very Christian. So she believed the divorce, she and her and her husband were kind of that relationship was falling apart. So she orchestrated the murder, but they tried many times to kill him in many different ways. The whole family. So this guy's like,

Rascutin with a huge dog and they can't die. He tried, they tried to kill him by poisoning him. Like I'm, there's a whole, a lot of bullshit here. This is crazy. But they think that, so that was one thing she did was worried about the shame of divorce and she was, she wanted to murder him instead of divorcing him. But then there's probably also another reason, which is that Anderson DeCarmo was also kind of like this influential evangelical minister.

Yes. He was a minister as well. And they think that maybe it could have, it really could have like, fuck everything because what Florida lease basically said was that if they got divorced, it would quote unquote, scandalize God, but also she was worth a lot of money by this point. So they would have to split that pot if they got divorced. Of course. God is money for money.

Police said a copy of the investigation with evidence of the charges have been sent to the lower house of Congress in Brazil. The statement said she could be stripped of her parliamentary position, allowing for criminal proceedings to be pursued further. So as long as she holds power, isn't this an interesting story? It's reminiscent of what goes on in our country. It's interesting that if you see that if you get power and you just keep it, it's really hard to like put you in jail.

It's better to have it. That's what I'm understanding. So it looks like it's possible. She loses her parliamentary seat and then she can be charged with murdering her husband's son. And then it seems also like a lot of child abuse. A lot of child abuse. This story is fucking wild and it's going to be a movie starring what's her name from

April. Los. Oh. What is that? April. Los. Oh. I have no idea.

I've never seen that movie. That's a good movie. What is it? April. What's her name is in it? She's beautiful. Penelope Cruz. Yes.

I haven't heard of Penelope Cruz in a long time, but yes, she is beautiful and she would be great. So I don't know what that means. It means open your eyes. See now I know. But in a capital Espanol, you do it. April. Los.

Oh. It's a beauty. You're such a linguistic master. The homicide chief Antonio Ricardo Lima Nunes, he told reporters the conclusion, the investigation reached was this, the motive was that she was unhappy with the way in which Pastor Anderson lived his life and handled the family finances. At the time of his death, Sosa testified to police that her husband had been killed, as Henry said, during a robbery.

So it looks like money was involved, which is the least shocking thing about this story. It's really very, it's sad, but money does to families. I mean, I just, I don't, this is not one of those stories. This was maybe set up to fail. I think this family with the 55 adopted kids that she was having sex with, was set up to fail. I think Florida Lisa is a villain. I think she's like a supervillain.

I'm not talking about in general, it's sad, but money does to families. Because it's so many people. Sometimes it makes families amazing. Well, yeah. If the money's flowing, but then when the money doesn't, so when the money stops flowing and everybody starts fighting, when grandpa dies and he's hitting gold, and the only way you can find out where the goal is, is that you talking about the plot of Curly's, Curly's gold, whatever the hell is the name of that Billy, that's City Slickers too much.

I mean, if you haven't seen it yet, please do yourself a favor. Oh yeah. Stop everything. Stop everything and see City Slickers too. What a time period though, truly of like, I've seen so much bullshit movies in the last like five months. Like I'll just blow through in a weekend. Like Natalie and I will watch like six, seven, eight movies, just doing whatever.

The nice thing is with television dying and them not creating any new shows, all they're doing is buying the comedies from the 1990s. So like the Paramount Network, it's all Tommy Boy, perhaps City Slickers is on there. And I will watch all of those movies again and again and I'll laugh and I'll laugh like I was when I was a chubby little child. Who knows? I think that maybe, I mean, Daniel Stern might have bought the rights as City Slickers and he's waiting for the reboot.

Daniel Stern is a very serious actor. Just look at Home Alone 1 and 2. He's a great, he's great in those movies. I love him. Right. Also the best part of Judd. No kid. Judd is not a good film though, unfortunately.

Let's talk about a hero, but this is not a hero of the week. I think you all know what the hero of the week is going to be. Yeah, if you've been following recent news, then you know exactly who hero of the week is. This is an interesting tale out of Eugene Orgen, a local woman used a bear rifle to save a kidnapping victim from possibly being murdered on Sunday. What is the difference between a bear rifle and a normal rifle? I think a bear rifle makes a fun growl when you shoot it.

Oh, that is fun. That is fun. She's just driving down the street and all of a sudden she spots this dude, he's covered in blood and he's like, please God help me. This is horrible. What's happening to me? We have no idea why this guy was covered in blood or what the beef was with this other dude, but she ran into the guy and the man told her he's going to kill me and he's probably

going to kill you since you were here. The woman was like, you know what? Not today. Jesus take the wheel, not happening today. She told the dude who was covered in blood, who was obviously a victim in this case, go hide in the woods, she grabs her bear rifle, she hunts down the dude. I will say it does sound like she set him up to be a victim of just a bear. If there's enough bears out there for you to need a bear rifle at your side, you cover

him out there. It's like a fucking succulent treat. It's like if someone put a pair of Jordans filled with nugs outside of my house with a fucking rope attached to it. Oh my God, there's some Salisbury steak covered in that gravy and I will stand by Salisbury steak. People make fun of it all the time, but I used, my friends never liked it when I was in seventh grade lunch and I would get all their Salisbury steak and I think it's delicious

because you don't even need to cut it with a knife. You don't even really need a fork. So technically I think that that speaks to your ability to be a survivor. Thank you. Because you could eat whatever comes down, but I honestly don't think you've had Salisbury steak in about 25 years. I have not, but I would. I would.

I would do it. We're doing it. I love the idea. So when she saw another man walking down the highway with a handgun, she got, obviously this person is the perpetrator here, she got her hunting rifle and waited for the troopers to arrive. Troopers arrived at the scene around 7 30 AM. This is what happens in the morning folks, but the suspect had already fled the scene

on foot. He and assess what happens in the morning is why you sleep in here in a second suspect remain at large. And the third was taken into custody, Michael light 39 of Florence faces charges of second degree assault and first degree kidnapping. Investigators say light and the two other men assaulted the man for an extended period of time in the, in his campsite. Light then kidnapped a woman who the bear hunter says was the victim's girlfriend and

lights ex girlfriend. A search found light and the female victim in a vehicle in the area and light was taken into custody. Michael Loki Wilson needs 31 of Florence and Jonathan Dakota, Applet 28 of Florence were identified as the other two suspects. It sounds like an episode of fucking, it sounds like Fargo. It does sound like Fargo. It's totally insane and they are still at large.

So if you have any information, contact the Springfield area command and you can find their number. It's five, four, one, seven, two, six, two, five, three, six. If anyone is going to remember that, but these two dudes are still at large. And this woman is a real freaking hero. She doesn't want to be identified. And you know, of course, no, it sounds like she's a real, she is both a good, but sovereign citizen.

Absolutely. If you look at this man, look at this 10 best bear defense guns from when your life depends on it. Look at this is this is dense when you head into bear country, you must accept that you are no longer at the top of the food chain. Luckily, most bears usually do not want any trouble and will leave the area as soon as they detect you. However, this is not always the case and you should be prepared to defend yourself if you

get in a tight situation. I agree. But honestly, look at these bear guns and look at it. Oh, this is sad. A charging bear could move right to make a lot of noise first. And this is carry bears. First thing. Click, click, click.

Something like that. Oh, fuck. Wet ass pussy. Whoa. Wet ass pussy. Whoa. And you go a charging bear could move extremely fast and only you can you have to hit it in its fucking brain.

It says here that only a hit on the bear's central nervous system brain or spine is guaranteed to stop a bear in its tracks. What? Leave him alone. The bear is going to eat you, hunt you down and kill you. I mean, you know, I think you got to do it. You got to do it. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. In this case, of course, the bear was a person or two people trying to murder what seemed to be a couple, three people actually trying to murder a couple there. Don't know why. But those bear guns, it's interesting. I thought they were going to be larger. Well, this handgun right here. Yeah.

This handgun looks like it's pretty big. I'll fucking kill you with one of these. Well, that's one of the great things about being out in LA. When you start walking around, you see all the gun stores and there's something that draws you into them. I haven't walked in yet. But my God. I didn't want to get a bear rifle.

You can get a bear rifle at Walmart. Yeah, you can. All right. Good for them. Good for Walmart. That's great. What a good thing. Absolutely.

Really convenient and it's really, I'm just glad how easy it is to get a gun. You know, God knows, because those bears are everywhere. They're everywhere. You see bears every day. Absolutely. I mean, I see one every day. I look in the mirror. Absolutely.

And according to, and on the websites, you'll look at there too. So just lastly, this is a short little ditty I wanted to talk about when it comes to donations. Just be careful who you're donating to, because this man, and this goes into our next story that I know Henry really wants to talk about, but this is kind of a precursor to it. An Arizona man allegedly faked having ALS to earn thousands of dollars in donations. That's incredibly sad. It is incredibly sad. It is a brutal, brutal disease.

It is horrible. And the story we're going to talk about next is amazing because this guy is becoming a cyborg. Well, this is your ultimate fear. We'll talk about it, but this dude, so this guy, his name is, he's a Chandler man. His name is Christopher Wade Nelson. He's a real schmuck. Okay.

This is schmuck of the week. If we ever did a schmuck of the week. He's 49 years old. I think he's just called last podcast on the left. Yeah. Basically. He said he had ALS this past July. He started taking in donations.

He allegedly made $30,000. He defrauded all of his old high school friends, because I don't know because you think I mean, how well are they doing? How much money did he make? 30 grand. That's not enough to destroy every relationship you've ever had in the amount of the closest, honestly, to destroy your entire reputation and burn every bridge that you ever created in your life.

Honestly, 10 million. This guy is pathetic. He allegedly accepted those donations from 20 individuals over five years. Now, I'm not going to victim blame here, but if you do know anything about ALS, you don't got five years. Like, you will be soliciting funds for a very long time. It was unclear if he entered a plea in the case. But anyway, according to KTVK between May, 2018 and May, 2020, Nelson allegedly claimed

he'd been diagnosed with ALS. And this is just, you got to be careful because we see these frauds all the time. As a matter of fact, it's a perfect little plug for fraudsters. Our new show here on the last podcast network. This happens all the time. All the time. If someone says they have ALS, ALS go, and then you have to try to knock them over. And if they don't fall over, they don't got it.

And then they're not getting your money either. But also, you know what I would say? I'd be real light with immediately physically attacking people who say that they have ALS. I'm just going to say that as a caveat, don't, if you know them, then you'll know. Absolutely you will. It's a devastating disease. It also, he also took to Instagram to convince an owner of a vehicle shop to fix his truck for free, quote, so he could take one last ride.

That's very, but a piece of shit. It's horrible. Here's the real guy, Dr. Peter Scott Morgan. This is a scientist who was diagnosed with ALS. So this is the same disease that Stephen Hawking famously had. Is this not the story of Doc Octagon from Spider-Man? Dr. Octopus? No, not Dr. Octopus.

That's from, that's from, I was going to say 7-Eleven. That is Spider-Man. That is Spider-Man. No, Dr. Octopus. Isn't it? No, that's double the 7. Yeah, it's Doc Octopus. No.

No, it's, is it Octopus? Yeah, it's Dr. Octopus. Dr. Octopus. So if there's more than one, it's Doc Octopi? What is going, no, it's Doc. I'm not speaking, I'm not speaking with you about this specific subject anymore. This specific subject is over. It's not Doc Octagon?

It is not Doc Octagon. Is it a rapper named Doc Octagon? There's a rapper. What's his name? Doc Octagon. What's his name? Doc Octagon. Rapper.

Dr. Octopus. But he's not even wet. Yes. Dr. Octagon is a rapper. I know Dr. Octopus is the Spider-Man villain, you're the rail in this. Wow. Yeah, you, I'm playing Spider-Man right now. I am Spider-Man currently.

Love that game. It's amazing. I'm Spider-Man. You're not. You're not. Giant. Look, look, I'm Spider-Man. I'm making some lips.

Oh, you're masturbating. Okay, great. Thank you. So this guy got, he, essentially ALS is a death sentence. He was given two years of live. Oh, so bad. You become, you get what's called the worst thing in the world, locked in syndrome. Oh.

Where you become totally paralyzed down your eyeballs. But Dr. Peter Scott Morgan, he was given this and he was like, fuck this, I'm ready to jump off this thing. He's like, I don't want to be human anymore. I'm going into full cyborg. Okay. He has created, so far it looks like they are working on a working model for an exoskeleton that he's going to be inside.

So cool. He's already spent dozens and dozens and dozens of hours recording his voice to create a proper facsimile of his voice and he has an avatar. So basically his dream is to live inside of a machine. He's already de-plumbed, what do you call it, basically redone the plumbing of his gastrointestinal tract. Robocup style. Yes.

So now he has a tube that he can be fit. He doesn't need to care as much anymore. The goal is to connect all of this to the inside of a massive exoskeleton that he will be eventually be able to control with just his thought. And he has a TV screen in front of it. This is shit. This is fucking sci-fi real shit. This is what I'm talking about.

But I like this because this man, I mean if you have had a chance to see the documentary Gleason all about the New Orleans Saints player who blocked the punt after Hurricane Katrina started off the Super Bowl champion season for the New Orleans Saints, it's one of the saddest documentaries you can ever see because he got ALS. Oh my god. And then I also had a situation when I was taking care of the dogs in the East Village. Our upstairs neighbor got ALS. It was a beautiful woman, a British woman, and I remember coming home one day and she

started, she was with her husband, and her husband was like, let me help you. And she's like, I can do it. It came into walking up the stairs. She can no longer do it. And this was the timeframe of maybe a month, and ALS is always the worst. I don't know what I would do. I honestly don't. This man is extremely, I'm going to say hashtag brave for doing this.

But you watched this idea. I love the idea of just the brain living on. I always have, obviously. Because my body is insufficient. My goal is to make my brain as tight as possible just in case this is possible. But he is great. Is that what you tripped shrooms for the past week to make it as tight as possible? And her experience, Henry Zabrowski, is really discovering some new things about how I'm

not me. Really? But if you go, Dr. Peter Scott Morgan can do this because he's one of those like brilliant, like very optimistic futurists. So he's pumping a lot of money and there's a lot of research going into figuring out what can this actually happen because his goal, he just straight up, he can't wait to destroy what he says, the feeble minded flesh and blood human body. Like his whole thing is being like, I will be stronger and run faster and jump higher

than any human being on earth. But I will slow, I will be a deteriorating husk inside of a shell that is run by my mind. But all of this is weirdly getting connected again to the Elon Musk weird shit he's doing with the neurotransmitters. With the piggies. Those pigs are biologically closer to human beings than any other animal, like the way that they work. And so we, that's kind of the weird lynch pin that they're waiting for.

They're waiting for the ability to connect the mind to the machine. If the pigs help us cure ALS, we need to stop eating them. That's what I'll say. And then they can wear little hats and they can be mayors. I agree. Okay. If we can make pigs think like us. They can think.

I mean, they love slop, you know. That's more American than slop. We love it. After this is according to the good doctor here again, this is, this is Peter. He says, after a series of tests, I was diagnosed with a motor neuron disease, a horrific, cruel disease. He was with his partner the whole time, Francis. They have been together since he was nearly 21 years old.

He says, it is a shock. How do we deal with this? I've shed a tear. You feel alone. You feel very afraid. Francis says, watching him deteriorate, it's traumatic. I mean, that's the thing we also don't talk about. It is a full time job now for the partner of someone who has ALS.

Oh no, it is a whole family. The whole family has to pitch in and then think about the, the guilt that one can end up feeling being so dependent on all of these people when you go so fast from being a independently bodied human being and to all of a sudden having to, you need everyone, you need them to come and take care of you. So this is, he's being a trailblazer. The whole point is to move forward and apparently he's already a year past his diagnosis. They only gave him two years to live and so he was supposed to die a year ago.

So I mean, there's obviously a lot of money going into this and which is unfortunately for the American healthcare system. It doesn't exist for most human beings. Well this doesn't exist for anyone but this guy right now. But that's also the thing too is that how far is the divide between the classes going to go that only the super rich can leave mortality? Well hopefully, hopefully it can get, we can have Walmart start selling these or Amazon will start selling these kits in 10 years.

According to the good doctor, he says he wants to become quote the most advanced human cybernetic organism ever created in 13.8 billion years. So what are we doing? You know, like this guy is just like, we do this show, but we will be, the only thing I am like a tiny bit concerned of is like the years we'll spend like cowering and fear from him, but once he adjusts to the responsibility, I'm certain that maybe he'll, as long as we can be gestures. That's all I've been saying.

Look at this shit too. How do you make a robot laugh? Oh, you're telling me plans. Now if you see, look at this shit, the Furion Exobionics Alphamec pilot program is also going live. So you can spend $3,000 to learn how to pilot one of these new mech suits. This guy's working on, he's calling them sport mechs. This is a guy by the name of Jonathan Tippett, who is creating these sport mechs where he's

like, I hope to create a world of robot races and robot sports where we can use your limbs. You can learn how to do it. It's operated literally by you running inside of the cage that you can run and jump and lift shit and watch them fight each other. It's going to be used in sports. It's going to be used in war. Well, anyway, I'm four, as I've said, BattleBots, apparently by the way, I got a message from a listener.

BattleBots will be coming back. They are filming the new season right now. Yes. So we'll see what happens. That's what I'm talking about. I don't need a new Beavis and Bunny. I need BattleBots. I don't need another reboot.

No. I guess BattleBots has a reboot. Well, but it's always new because it's live action. Yes, anyway, this is according to him. He says, tomorrow I trade my voice for potentially decades of life as we complete the final medical procedure for my full transition to full cyborg the month I was told statistically I would be dead. I'm not dying.

I'm transforming. Oh, how I love science. That's what he had to say. He's so interesting because what he's doing is, man, he's getting rid of his organs in order to live in order to live, right? He's getting rid of his throat and he's getting rid of his organs, but it's giving him decades of life because that's what it's like. Basically he's doing the thing on being like, oh, my organs are going to fail.

Get rid of them. Wow. Oh, my throat's going to stop working. Get rid of it. Yeah. He says we're within touching distance of changing everything. I'm not dying. I'm transforming.

It's scary and fun. It is. Hey, man. It makes me like the hairs in the back of my neck stand up. I think it's very interesting. Wow. Going to Silicon Valley, apparently cyborgs will rule the planet within 80 years. That's what a British scientist has claimed.

Oh, they've been saying that for a long time, but honestly, they're going to be, I really feel like again, the first thing we're going to see it in is like in sports. Yeah. I really do believe. I mean, I'm fine with it, but that's how they sell all sport commercials. That's how they sell it to the American public. You know what I mean? It's that thing where you show like, look, they're fun.

Now Ubers can also kill a tank like all that kind of shit. And for the first couple of years, they're going to be like, oh, this is fucking metal. But then like, once it's slowly, the tide gets turned and only the rich have that. And to that point, one Silicon Valley billionaire has even paid $10,000 to be killed and have his brain digitally preserved. So I don't know what to think about that. But again, I think that these are equal opportunity things. I think that we should be giving military drones to kids from inner city schools.

I think that we need that. Those are the ones they need it. They do need it. It's great training. I mean, they probably are already training them on that because they tend to recruit those kids to be in the military. We also had one story where an Abe Lincoln impersonator was arrested for child pornography. And that's really a whole story.

That's a whole story. And guess what, man? And when he takes the hat off, it looks a lot less like Abraham Lincoln. Much more like a pedophile. Yep. Yes, indeed. So watch out for people who impersonate people in power because you think people in power are bad.

Just think about how bad the people are who want to be them. Never date a Tom Cruise impersonator. What that would be like, the kind of headspace you have to get into to pretend to be him. Honestly, I was thinking about this and not to malign any of our unbelievably talented friends. But to be a Trump impersonator or a Biden impersonator or Obama, you do not have long to go. Well, that's why everyone got really happy for Kamala Harris being VP and then Maya Rudolf

gets like a whole big spin on Saturday Night Live. So it can end up being very profitable, but it depends on who you're attached to. Like we talked with our buddy Tony and Taminik when he was like right before the 2016 election. I remember him pulling off the Donald Trump wig going like, God, I can't wait to stop doing this guy. He was like, fuck, holy shit. All right, well, let's get to Hero of the Week. I moved to California because California is full of heroes and this man might be the

most new heroes born every day. They get off the bus every day, every day, every day. A California man. This fella's name is Chad Little, but nothing a little about what he did. California man uses cans of Bud Light to fight a wildfire. A California man used cans of Bud Light to prevent his property from going up in flames amid another massive wildfire. He's a Vacaville homeowner named as Chad Little.

The family started packing up there like, we got to get out of here. Chad said, no, one more thing. We got to save the house, but he didn't have any water around. So what did he have? The next best thing to water, the closest thing to water that exists. That saved people from things like the Black Plague and other things. You actually... I don't know if Bud Light was around, but there was Mead.

There was Mead. Yes, indeed. And that's with the Viking strength because it was the closest thing they could have to clean water. Yes, indeed. And of course, maybe the Vikings didn't need to have as much energy as they had given what they did. Unless he had 36 beers lying around that he hadn't yet drunk.

And he says, this is according to him. He says, this happens. And I'm like, no, I can't. I can't let it go regarding his house. The fire approaching, Little was prepared to fend off the inferno, but he didn't have any hoses. It was burning on the wood down low, and I didn't have any water, Little told the station. This just sounds like a fucking fable.

It really was. Like all the kids are around a fire and tell the story again. Yes, it was burning on the wood down low, and I didn't have any water. I had one barrel with a little bit of water in it. And I tried using that. It didn't work. So what did he do? He realized, Eureka, 36 pack of Bud Light is right there.

When I ripped up the sheet metal, it had a nail. So I was just shaking it up, popping it just and spraying them, popping it out, grabbing another one. My buddies all tease me about drinking water beer. And I say, hey, saved my shop. And yes, it did. The fire department arrived. Just as he finished using the brew to put out the flames around his shop, this man is

a true hero. I would love to buy him a 36 pack of Bud Light myself and say, here's your reward, my friend. He didn't post Maloney to get together. If Bud Light does not use this man in a commercial and give him some money, I don't know what else they need. This is the greatest marketing of all time. Yes, it is drinkable, drinkability. But even water.

Yeah. I mean, it's beer. But even the Bud Light night would be proud of what Chad Little did. And if I see this Bud Light Lime night coming at my Bud Light night, I'm still pissed about what they've done with the Bud Light night. He never did anything wrong. And all of a sudden they have the Bud Light night or the Bud Light, the platinum night gets out of here, sir, please, please, sir, just take your wings and go, sir.

I have yelled at the TV when I saw the Bud Light Platinum night coming in and trying to dethrone the Bud Light night because the Bud Light night has been protecting the village. And as we just saw, Bud Light Platinum didn't stop a wildfire. Did it? It was Bud Light proper. I don't like Bud Light Platinum. I don't like it either because it's just, it is a, I forget what it used to be. They just rebrand.

I don't like it. It was like Bud Ice. Yeah. It was like Bud Ice or some crap. Anyway, Chad Little, you are this week's hero of the week. And I am very happy that your shop has been saved because of the powers and the wonders of Bud Light. Yep.

Wow. That's what an inspirational story. It really is, isn't it? It's incredible. Just got braver this week. He was a father. He was a father. It's incredible.

I want to read this one thing, but I love, I forget what Reddit subreddit this is, but I went down a line of people talking about overcompensating, weird things where guys being hypermasculine online. Oh yeah, sure. And I just wanted to read this little copypasta that I thought was really fun. I handed my wife a knife and I told her to try and stab me. She will never question my abilities to combat me ever again. Within a split second, it went from in her hand to the air, to across the room and in

my possession. No, she wasn't trying to hurt me, but she wanted to know exactly what I would do unarmed to consummon with the weapon if the situation ever arose without even having to move my legs or shift. She was disarmed. It got her gears going quite a bit, winky face, winky face, winky face. What is that? I don't know.

But he said, the title of that post was, this is my cousin's five foot four husband. All right. Very, very manly. It just made me laugh. It just made me laugh. Very good. All right. I got some cryptid stories that I thought were really funny because right before we

left, we did the Beast of Bogot Creek. Beast of Bogot Creek. Obviously, some people were, you know what I want to say, even those that were slightly triggered by our speaking and attitude towards Arkansas. I was very nice towards Texarkana. Texarkana. Yes, indeed. People were very supportive of us, which is really nice.

Apparently, there's some racial connotation as well to the Beast of Bogot Creek. What do you mean? Oh, yes. It was one of those sundown towns where it's like they kind of used it to. Well, we don't know, but we definitely, it's not, it didn't seem like it was a super friendly place. But here we go. I'm sure it's much friendlier these days.

Apparently people keep saying, nope. Everyone said, nope. I'm trying. Fouke is exactly the same as it was. All right. My grandpa's uncle, double uncle Ed, owned land near Fouke. Wait, they dubbed him uncle Ed? This is what they did.

It's his name, Ed? I mean, who knows? It was probably something like, like clarp, and they needed to change it because those names aren't around anymore. They just dubbed him. I mean, that's a southern way of nighting somebody to dub somebody. Your now name is Ed because it's easier to say when we're drunk. They could RV park for maybe around five RVs, right?

It was basically a hole in the woods with some gravel on the ground. Uncle Ed rented out spots for trailers for family and friends to come hunt. We used to go down there for hunting until uncle Ed died. We were there that weekend celebrating Thanksgiving, and while hunting in the early morning, we get a call from Ed's wife, Joanne, telling everyone to come back. When we get back, we saw an ambulance driving out. Joanne said, Ed and his son, Mike, were in their tree stand when something came up and started a scratch.

Ed fell out of the stand and was attacked by it. And it was brighter out. Grandpa went and checked out what could it be. Now bears were popular in the area, but scratch marks that were higher than eight feet tall. Back bears in the area, they were a little taller than Henry. Thanks for that. Thank you. Yes, indeed sir, but there were about five, eight.

Uncle Ed died because the closest hospital was about an hour away from where we were. Oh, yep. That's why. That's very sad. That's very sad. Nat, funeral. It's just because it couldn't get to a heart. Like, oh, there's, maybe we need more hospitals.

Honestly, maybe they should look into it having some kind of doctor and folk. Yeah, maybe. Got the funeral. They went on and on about how this had to be the bog man and that old boggy was out to get him. So he needed to leave down. And after a very, very short investigation, Mike was arrested for murdering Ed, of course. Mike pushed it out of the tree stand, slashed him with a knife.

They found 10 feet from the stand and he crawled up the stand to make marks. Oh my goodness. And he tried to blame it on the bog Greek monster. Well, it didn't work. I always find it's better to blame it on something that's real, you know, that's a good way to kind of get out of it there. Or hide the murder weapon. Yeah.

Here's another story about just sometimes, and I honestly think that kissle him sick. You will commiserate with this more than anything else. Okay. Now, towards the end of quarantine, I moved back home with my parents instead of living with my roommate in our apartment for college. My grades and mental stability were rapidly decreasing and it's just about the best move for to be back in the company of loved ones. Got it.

I got into the habit of going on walks and hanging out in the small wooded areas near and around my neighborhood and maybe quite possibly smoke some herb and most of all of these walks. Okay. Got you. Got to chill out. Well, my neighborhood is full of caddy ass busy, busy body carets and old people who have nothing productive to do with their time and gossip like middle schools.

They just go down to the woods and smoke and weed. That's it. But I don't know how you know this, but this is true. He's the busy guy. Well, one day word gets around complaining of a foul skunk like smell and a tall, lanky black figure in the brush towards the far end of the field behind our home. I automatically think back to the previous mentions of skunk apes and big feats and friendly fellows of that sort.

And after that, I recall the time recently I snuck out of my house at night to enjoy a nice hot carrot shaped bowl of my stank tank. So in my basement, I have a massive window that leads to the small pit. Now it's only about six feet long and about four feet wide, but it's a good six to seven feet deep, perfect for sitting down in a nice spring or summer night. Towards the end of my first bowl one night in a pit, you're in an earthly cry of pain ring through the dark neighborhood. Oh, it's not like the noise Henry made at the beginning of the episode except it's

chills through my bones. I hurry up and finish the bowl and another one, maybe two, two more of them because damn if I'm going to get some beast to stop me from my quest. Yes, indeed. I have to make these connections to think to myself, oh my Lord, we have fucking skunk apes in Monroe fucking, Michigan impossible. Monroe is located above Ohio and a 45 minute drive south of Detroit. I'm ecstatic at the prospect of something mysterious going on my neighborhood in the

field where the figure was found out was the location of one of my smoking spots. Now I'm a six foot three lanky ass male, I always wore all black even on the hot summer days and I have a black long sleeve shirt and jeans on and I have long black hair. Cool guy. I just realized I was a skunk ape, I was now dedicated to fun. It's been me, somewhat disappointed at the realization that my town was as boring as ever. I reveled in the fact that I was somewhat encrypted in my own eyes.

Isn't that nice? Isn't that nice? Yeah, he was definitely very stoned. Well good for him. He had the busiest guy in Monroe, Michigan. But truth be told, if you can't find encrypted, maybe it's good to be your own. I completely agree with that. Well thank you all so much for shooting those emails our way.

Oh and the big thing is we got a lot of George Mersan still alive. George Mersan is still alive. Oh also. The most recent side stories stuck in the pipe been wondered out loud not for the first time if George Mersan was dead yet, happy to report that he is not. Mersan lives in Maryland with his family. He is incredibly charitable, a community leader. I love George Mersan.

I know his health isn't great, he has a few more good years left in him. Now reason I'm sending this in is I used to date one of his very tall sons in college. Been listening since the early days and the Mersan references over the years just always made me laugh. That's great. I love George Mersan. Also there's another person I said was dead who is still alive but now I'm forgetting who that was.

There's always one. There's always one. You just said it too. I know. Oh yeah, you said Pele. Pele is still alive and kicking literally. We don't know a single goddamn thing about soccer, we don't know anything about soccer. I know that that one woman took her shirt off, do you remember in that celebration the women's

soccer? I believe it was, I think it was ham. Yeah, people were ridiculous but I love the women's soccer team. They win. I watch them. I like a winner. I like a winner. I like a winner.

And I love our female soccer team and I invite them over to any one of our homes. Kick your friggin ass. I'll tell you that much. I love them. I'll buy them a bunch of beer. I'll buy them some ham. I love everything about them. I'll buy them once.

I'll buy them ham. I'm just happy that they win and I love every one of them. And I also, you know what, they're out there doing a good word for America, being honest and not cheating at soccer. Not like these FIFA guys. Yes, indeed. Because I think some of these FIFA guys are like the Mafia over there. FIFA is incredibly corrupt, absolutely.

They're worse than the Russians. All right. Well, thank you all so much for listening to this side story. I hope everyone had a good time. Not apologies but we're happy to be back for this week. So good to be back. I missed being with you. Of course.

And that's why, you know, I live every day wondering, will I get to a microphone today? Do you really wonder that? I do. Okay. Sometimes. Sure. Sometimes I'm like, oh no, I have to be in front of a microphone today. Because sometimes you have sour brain and little evil horrible thoughts.

Yeah, of course. But today I'm learning to let those thoughts go. Good. Like clouds in the sky. Great. It's mindfulness, Kisel. I love what you're doing. I'm your friend, Henry Szypoughowski.

And I laugh just thinking about former me. That was just like nine days ago, yeah. Yeah. But that fucking schmuck was like, took off of schmuck of the week. A week. Every week. Wow. Before we got to relax a little bit.

Take mushrooms. Because I can take a bunch of mushrooms. Yeah. But 100 hours straight. Uno is about people. Yeah, you played Uno with Jackie with a brain full of mushrooms. Uno is about connection and family. Okay, I believe that.

That's my commercial for Uno today. Okay. Sprinkled Jack coffee because it really does because I got Jackie cooked on the cold brew to great and all of us I'm fucking super charged right now. I love it. I'm fucking Riddled with it. I can tell and then I just laugh Thinking about all of the thoughts I let go Well, you know a lot of those thoughts are you know why we have a successful network and I maybe grab a few of those thoughts back Because you know, it's you mean bits. I should think about what I'm gonna say before. Yeah, you know

Yeah, I could do probably a little bit more constructive bit building. Yeah, sure Yeah, sure But you know what when it comes down to it and the reason why I want to so I want to entertain you Yeah, to the fullest. Yeah, I know you don't want you chortlin I want you edutains. Yes, you do and I want your breasts filled with the milk of peace Love and understand that's the best kind of milk there is All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening to side stories

We're happy to be back with you. Hail yourselves. Hey, I'll take it my goose deletions If you have a rocket send it our way, we would love to ride it That's what I want. I want to I want to rock it back now. You sound like we're gonna One of those like, you know when someone else controls the vibrator like those videos. Oh, yes This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com