Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Poo Poo Pickle

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: the Florida man caught pleasuring himself with a Pickle, a Las Vegas casino robber's bizarre Manifesto, the manhunt for a Magician wanted for causing havoc at Walmart checkouts, Tunisian woman finds "glass tumbler" stuck in her bladder for 4 years, Mothman News, a Torturous Tinder Date, Listener Stories, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. We can go. We've been recording for fucking like six hours. Oh, great. Yeah, man. I started recording before I left the house. Honestly, and I think that that's the most important thing about podcasting is we got to be real, right? We're gonna be real. We got to be slightly performative. No, no, no, no. I'm too real to be entertaining, right? That is that is my fucking leet motif that has been the zeitgeist I followed this entire time our entire performance history together. Sure. And I guess it's really important for everybody to know as soon as I wake up, you hear my little noises. I think people love that because you can really hear a podcast. There's

all his little noises. I don't think so. No, they want to go to the bathroom. Here we go. Oh, one mistake's in me. Yeah. One mistake's in me. And then you can hear me just like, oh, listen to whatever, whatever new story it is about like, oh, what you could do to a child. But I'm so sick of all of these YouTube's telling us exactly all the different horrible things that can be done to children's butts. You can search whatever you want on YouTube. No, not everything you want. Not everything. Well, that is true. They do cut you off at a point. They do get like a cease and desist from my own fingers. They say, hey, let's think about this. They could do a better job when it comes to the pedo stuff. But anyway, welcome to side stories, everyone. I

am Ben hanging out with Henry Zabrowski. It's not pedo stuff. It is. It's disgusting crime content. There we go. I got you. I got you. Hope everyone's doing all right out there. Fucking got his fucking ass. He can't talk anymore. I really can't talk because I'm traumatized today. Why? I was driving in my Chevy Silverado. Whoa. Hey, that's not an ad. He just drives one into the grounds. The only thing I could fit in. Free bird. I was listening to normal radio, right buddy? Free bird comes on at 1 30 in the afternoon. Terrestrial. Free bird should never be played until after 7 p.m. Because now I'm thinking I'm contemplating life. I'm free as a bird. I'm dead now. When I was in sixth grade, I would say play that my funeral and I stand by it.

It's cliche. Yes. But that's the whole freaking point. Either way, if you are a DJ on traditional radio, please God, no free bird before 7 p.m. PST. That's 10 p.m. EST. So you got both sad and exhilarated. It was horrible. You know, manic depression is the height when suicide happens. Is that right? Yeah. Isn't that funny? I'm just the right age group as well. Just really getting that stuck. And I live alone with two dogs, maybe feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Oh, sure. There's a lot of issues. But don't worry, Nancy Pelosi just read a poem from Bono. Man, she corrected it. So she nailed it. Yeah, good work. Patient nation healed. Thank you. I feel like we didn't get so many things wrong last episode. Last episode was a,

it really was a rare episode where we didn't come back with about 20 corrections. And you know what I want to say? Good on ya. Except no, because I'm wrong. Whatever. There actually is an apology that I would give. We did an ad for something. What was it called? Do you remember Fernando? An ad? It was for, it was for British. Oh, it's for British. What was it was for British? What? Dancer in the dark. Not the blind Bjork one. Dancer in the dark. Some audio book. It's an audio book. Some horseshit. No, not horseshit. Wonderful sponsor. So what are we apologizing for? So I, this is the thing. Okay, I'm going to explain. This is full, full transparency, full transparency here. Wow. Full transparency. Too real to be denied. My UK English accent has

fallen off. Okay. We all know this. I remember the pedestal it was on. I'm not sure. Has it fallen off? I was. Well, we can try. I'll have another baggle in my crunket. Oh, oh, are you that? You're my mother or my father? That's pretty good. Oh, you're my mother or my father. We can't count because of the haircut. You're dead. Yeah. But okay. So sure. Yeah, I nailed it there. That worked. But when we did an ad for a, some kind of UK something, this is how engaged we are with the ad reads. I was trying to get back to being British because I thought it'd be fun because when you read it, you have certain ads, you have to read verbatim. And I thought it'd be fun to read it in a British accent. I usually get the ones verbatim

and then they say, Oh, have fun with it. Then they give it to you. And then sometimes it does get kicked back to me because you have too much fun with it. Because these people, they say, Oh, have fun with it, but they don't know what mean. That means stops. No, they don't have fun. They've never had fun on their lives. But I, I try to find it'll be fun to set the tone. Let's make it UK. Let's bring it back to the grand old loyal. But guess what I just did when Australian. Before our last Australian tour, and I'm saying this directly to the Patreon camera, before we went last back to our Australian tour, I was trying to get my Australian accent up to ship shape. Yeah. And I think you did a fairly solid job. Once we were there, you really started to

take it in. But then you're a sponge. I am a real sponge. Yeah. But then what I've done is I've destroyed my English accent with the Australian accent. The Australian accent has now become the, the, the, the boilerplate white outside here accent that I do. Well, I think that's a little bit out. I don't know. That's not very good, Henry, because Heath Ledger, he was Australian, but he did an English accent and he could do a British accent. So you need to maybe have more Anglo Saxon accents. And then he was killed by the government for allowing his Joker performance to destabilize and create Occupy Wall Street. It all comes back to fucking that dead Heath Ledger. It all comes back. I just want to say,

I did just watch the Batman solid movie. Anyway, go on. It is very good. But I do want to say, yes, so are UK listeners. Oh, sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. No, I am your father. I can't tell from up top. You look a sign. I'm got back to fucking Australia. I think you're really nailing it. And don't worry, Hollywood, it's right around the corner. It is. Literally. But they don't want you to, they, if anything, they would want you to do a Polish accent. Oh, you got so many of my accents. You're my mother, you're my father. Is that good? Absolutely fantastic. Well, let's do a story involving one of our best friends' favorite foods. What? Pickles. Oh, Marcus. Marcus. He liked pickles. He loves pickles.

And he honestly, apologetically loves them, unironically loves them. He has, he's a connoisseur of the pickle. He knows certain pickle. You can tell a pickle by the snap. You say he's a connoisseur of pickles. To be honest, he's kind of more of a pickle fucking slut. Whoa. He'll do whatever. He'll take whatever pickles around. Yeah, but that's called being a connoisseur. No, it's not. A connoisseur means you, no, no. A connoisseur would mean you would carefully choose a pickle that was like a suit to taste. Well, we'll have to have him on the show to discuss at some point. I don't know when we'll speak to him next. Either. Well, you know, this week we'll be traveling with him and we can't wait to see him. And we will have a con, we will have a conversation about snacks

in the green room once again. Oh, I, I'm afraid to. I'm not going to bring it up. No, I'm not going to bring it up. He doesn't want to fight for the same. He fights against all the sandwiches. We'll get into this. A man, he had, he had no pants. Yep. And he was in Florida. So he was a Florida man, believe it or not. He was arrested. He was spotted pleasuring himself with a pickle while on a private premise. Hey, he's on a private premise. Maybe it wasn't his. I don't believe that it was. That seems to be always a problem. There was a phone call around four PM and they were like, there's a suspicious person. He seems to be jerking off with a pickle. Now, when they say jerking off with a pickle, did it mean that there was a hollowed out pickle

that his penis was inside of? Or is this a, a pickle up the butt scenario? Okay. So he had his penis in one hand and a large, uneaten pickle in the other. I'm glad. I'm glad it was uneaten because that would be unsanitary. And then, oh my God. And then he was using the pickle to penetrate his rectum. Well, that's what I'm saying. Well, he was masturbating. And so he was taking the pickle jamming it up there, which you know, that's not a Vlasik. The Vlasiks are like, we snap. We've got a band. Yeah. He's got to be, that's going to be a frozen pickle. That's a big deal. That's a poo poo pickle. Take a big old painting brown. That's what he did. Turn that frown upside down as a poo poo. It's a poo poo pickle. So the man was shoving a pickle up his buttocks.

And then he was jerking off. He's got to do. Let me see it. Let me. Oh, what a proud smile. Well, he doesn't look that ashamed. It seems as if this is something that he kind of wanted. It also looks like he's wearing nursing scrubs. So if he is a nurse, thank you for your service. And also you get one to have shoving a pickle up your buttock while you publicly masturbate. Why can't that be so? How many lives has he saved? If he, if he was an active RN nurse during COVID, I think he should be allowed one public masturbation. I completely agree. Give him one. Give him a fucking shot. Let him be him. He kind of looks like the lead character from Prince of Egypt. Oh, a little bit. A little Yule Brenner. He was arrested. And then he was charged with

misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs. And it was being held in the Pinellas County Jail in lieu of $150 bond. So really not that big of a punch. No, they really never not pickle up your buttock. No. And jerking off in public. I actually thought there might be a little bit more to that. Well, I actually kind of interested only just because where was it? Because I feel like that kind of measures the what the crime is. Like, you know, if you're inside the vagemnasium of an elementary school, right, you'll probably get a certain different level of crime where unless I think if he's in the parking lot of a bigly wiggly or like some form of Burger King, a lot of times they're just happy somebody's out there using the parking lot.

Well, you'll be happy to know this was actually in the Tampa Bay area. Wow. Oh, so it's just Pinellas. Yeah, that makes sense. Yes. And so it's Eric Detej. He's 47. He was lying on his back in the front of a townhouse in Oldsmar. So he has said that he, well, he hasn't really said anything, but the words on his body have spoken loudly because jail records note that he has a tattoo. And that tattoo on his arm says, only God can judge me. And isn't that true? And I'm just going to tell you this right now. God did judge you. And he would be like, yo, man, you're taking the fruit that I made, the vegetable I made, you're shoving up your asshole. That's not what it's for.

That is not what it's for. Okay. Hey, listen here, right? And because, first of all, you pickled it. That was a perfectly normal cucumber and you made it sour, right? It's fine, whatever. Nice. I didn't, I didn't say anything about that, right? But honestly, when it comes down to it, it's a waste of food. I also have to say, you can use your fingers or a pole. You could use anything you want. I gave you sticks. You can use a stick. You can carve off the end of the stick. Nice and round and soft. Got to scrape off all the hard parts and put it right inside your butt. That's what I gave you. I do love some of these comments. That's what I was carrying you. Exactly. When there was one set of footprints in the sand. That was when you were writing

Jesus' front face with his dick up inside your fucking asshole and he's carrying you around like a basket he could follow. Well, wouldn't that be nice to be penetrated by the Lord? I do love some of the comments. Gene Kelly, I would assume not, no, I would assume someone who was not that probably didn't like that man actually. Probably thinks he's the enemy of the meditation. He says, this is a crime. How? Because he was shoving that pickle in his butto. He was in publicly, he was publicly masturbating. Cut damn, just sitting naked on a Jimmy John sandwich. How's this a crime? Is this a crime now? Come on. You can't rape a pickle. Okay, scream. Yep. So anyway, apparently there are some sympathizers. And again, be careful

out there. I'm so sick of the god damn internet. Oh yeah. I'm so sick of the internet. We are putting this phone in a microwave in five years. Our final contract. You won't see me again until it's via morning dove carrier. You know what? It also shows you can make it with a niche audience. You really can. No matter what you do, there's somebody out there that loves what it is that you do. This is a crime. How? Sir, you are not going to be on jury duty for this case. Yes. This is a crime. How? Yes. Pick up his butto. He was publicly masturbating in someone else's front yard or backyard, whatever. He must have learned that how is this a crime? Like him saying that. That's like, how's this a crime? That has gotten him out of so many things that he's had to do that he

just keeps saying. There is just very obviously a crime. This is a crime. All right. This is another guy says like, how is this a crime? I don't really want to go too deep into this because there's a lot here. But if you really, I know these days, it's really important to not like purvey the message of especially mass shooters who want their right. They want their shit to be heard. They want to be seen. They're trying to get attention. But I feel like they don't want to be. What's the name of the guy who played the Riddler? Paul Dano. They all want to be Paul Dano, but they're not. They're not. They're not an actor. So he's not. And I feel like the only reason why that it's okay for me to do this, I'm going to read a little bit of a manifesto because

I'm going to, you know, like, oh, you know, this is my like my fucking guilty pleasure. I love a manifesto. I love reading them. I think they're really fun to get into. Who's written the best manifesto? Never put Dorner in a corner. Oh my God. Chris Dorner. Fantastic. As a matter of fact, the one funny thing, I mean, obviously the story isn't that funny for those that we should actually cover Chris Dorner because I don't know if you recall, we did it a little bit with our manifestos episode, but there needs to be more coverage. He is a, what a interesting bad, bad dude. Obviously ended up being a bad dude, but his brain was interesting. I think he did have some proper complaints about the LAPD because while they were on the hunt to try to catch him, they shot two

innocent people who just at the same truck. Yeah. So anyway, yes, don't corner the Dorner. And I did the one thing he did was he listed his favorite comedians. It was like Chris Rock. Oh no, he gave a shout out. He gave Hillary Clinton the bump because he's like, I really wish I could vote for Clinton this year. Honestly, like it was really amazing. That was an interesting manifesto. But there is this manifesto that comes from a young man that attempted to take hostages at the Rain Rock Casino in Eureka. Now this is in Riverside County. I don't know what state this in. It's probably in the state of denial. Whoa, maybe Oregon. Maybe Oregon. But he went in and they really, they really give the employees at the Rain Rock Casino the police

tip their hats to them in keeping casino goers safe during a potential hostage crisis with quick thinking. Now this was a young dude. He looked a lot younger than he was. He looks like he's 12, but he's 33 years old. I guess I could say his name, Billy Joseph Sontag. You don't really, in the end, like the reason why I want to read the manifesto is you can really see it's truly disorganized. He left a lengthy manifesto. I would also recommend not robbing a casino. There's like more cameras there than anywhere in the world. Ever before. So you're just going to get caught immediately. It was called organized crime in Eureka's statement. Now he believed that there was mind control involved, food poisoning against him at the hands of several Eureka-area fast food

restaurants, extortion. There was a mass shootings perpetrated by Manchurian candidates style government induced and controlled shills. It goes deep into MK Ultra. It's really, really intense. A lot of YouTube video, he made a YouTube series, which is like, you know, Eureka conspiracy. So basically what he did was he came in with a shotgun saying, hey, we're going to, I'm taking this over and the manager managed to get him talking. Do the thing, which I've said before, and this is a big thing, if you've got somebody who has got a long rambling conspiracy theory, like speech at you and they're coming at you and they're saying, well, always go like, with you, brother. Yeah, brother, I heard that brother saw that in my newsreel. Just say stuff

like you like encourage him, move on until you can get your way out and move towards the crazy person until you can get your way out, then move your way out. Right. And so imagine he managed to, they distracted him and the employees all jumped on him and they went and they fucking, they all tied him right there. So I can't believe they did that. They managed to get a hold of the dude. People who work at casinos, they're on the front lines of a lot of action. I don't mess with the casino worker, man, because they've seen it all. They're there when you're not and they know exactly what's going on. Well, he also showed up with this big metal lock box and that they thought it was a bomb. Yeah. And they opened it up. Yeah, it basically was. They opened it up and

they just found out it was paper copies of his manifesto. But they did a good job, good work out through those casino workers. But I just want to read a little bit of like, because when it says it, what does it mean by rambling manifesto? Right. The whole thing started with the conversation with my uncle Ward winning him in Big Springs, California. He asked me if I had ever thought about being a card dealer and explained that they made a lot of money because of their tips. He told me I could get the job because he knew the person in charge of hiring the dealers. And if I went to the job fair, the job was basically mine. Then he told me I would be working with some other people he knew from with a mill, like Keith, who was missing some fingers. I asked, would it be difficult to

deal cards like that? And he explained it wouldn't be because of the shuffle machines and the dealing school would teach us everything we needed to know. Now, I wasn't really sure if the job was for me until I went. And then he explained that if Dennis didn't hire me, he would tell his wife that he did crank. And after that, he explained that I would have to pay him $1,000 fee after two years if I wanted to keep working there. I asked me what would happen if I didn't pay or if I forgot. And he told me about how they would do all kinds of things to remind me. There'd be free calendars in the break room. Dennis talking to me about how he doesn't know he'll pay his mortgage. Those are some preliminary reminders. And the more extreme reminders would be blue ink on my food that would

mess with my voice pitch and something else in my food. I asked if I didn't pay what would happen. And he said, if I would never got my free $1,000 for the 401k, they would feed me glass shards to get me fired. And I said, they can't fire me for no reason. How would they do that? And I was shocked already. But then he told me how they would put dog poop with crank in it and pay someone a Taco Bell to put it in my food before it works. I would throw up and then they would force me to take a secret drug test to fire me. And I said, what if I don't take it? And he said, they will fire you on the spot. Refusing this Taco Bell. And this is only page two. How many pages is there? 20 pages. Holy hell. There's more of a journal. He was worried that he was going to get fired

if he didn't eat the dog poop filled gorditas. This is when you really start getting into hardcore. That rambling part when you really start to believe not only are the casino people against you, the casino bosses are against you. Yeah. Well, he was also an active, he was an employee at that casino. So he was there working. So you start to create this fantasy. Casinos have a really high, it's difficult to get a gig there. It is. It is more difficult, I would almost say, than working for the airlines because there's a lot of money involved. Absolutely. You have to know people won't cheat that they are, they are again reputable. It's a lot of temptation to deal with. It's a lot of shit right at your fingertips. And but then it's the bringing in the local Taco

Bell's in on it. The police department is in on all this kind of stuff. That's a lot to get in. And I tell you what, Taco Bell, say what you will about that organization to get the workers to all kind of like, it's such a team of rivals. Here's a bag of dog shit. Do you mind putting this in a taco and then giving it to this customer specifically? A lot of people you got to agree with one little chain of command. But I'll tell you a lot of times Barbara, she ain't doing dog shit. Absolutely. She's not doing dog shit. She says like, you're going to bring his dog shit to me. My husband tried to bring dog shit to me and I saw him in court. And then all of a sudden now you're talking about seeing her in court and shit. And then like, that's all Barbara has been looking for

is for a reason to take somebody to court. Give her a reason and she'll go and she'll take you to court. And she's going to win the GD case because this person is obviously a total psycho. Shout out to all fast food employees. Extremely difficult job. No one understands it. Yeah, absolutely. I worked a Taco Bell. I'm in the Midwest, big boy in the Midwest back in the day, a Burger King Taco Bell lunch rush, a Wendy's lunch rush. That she's a dance, bro. It does. It gets it gets for real. And then also like, I was listening to Guy Fieri talk about his new show where he he just can so he is so giving. He is letting these 10 people all compete to be a manager of a chicken guy restaurant explains. No, that is the leadership and the type of like

because everybody's coming. Everybody wants to be the admiral. Everybody's coming for the fucking game. Sure. So if you're the head of the chicken guy, everybody wants that top slot. So it's going to take a real fucking chicken tender warrior to figure that out. And so he really puts people through the front lines and he explained that he was just like, you watch, he's like, Hey, you look CNN, you see what they're blowing up over there? That's like the front lines right here right there. He's always comparing the escalating competition, the escalating war between Ukraine and Russia with his chicken restaurant. Yeah. Well, you know, maybe not a proper analogy. Both are real hot right now. Honestly, I bought it. You know, I will buy anything the guy does.

I went to his restaurant. It's at the links hotel and casino in Las Vegas. Highly recommend the trash can nachos and everything else. Don't do it. I am telling you, buddy, we're going. I'm going to tell you, you're going to be the prettiest gal at the dance. I'm taking care of you. We're just going to be, we've seen a lot of twosomes like us roll into that place. Chicken guy is not good though. Man, it's hard to say. The one experience that Marcus had was not good. I've had it. Have you had it too? It is not, he just, I think that guy needs to go from restaurant to restaurant around this great country of ours. Not the other ones. Triple D because he's his own restaurant. That's why I made him so famous. No, he needs to do another triple D with just chicken guys.

And it's him going in there undercover boss, dressing as a lady, dressing as a black man. He might be. You think that'd be bad. He might be sued by Gordon Ramsay. That's a Gordon Ramsay trick, I believe. I know. I know. Yeah. Mission. Was it, was it to hell and back in 24 hours? I'll fix your restaurant. It's like the entire name of that show. Hey, what's up everyone? How you doing? Ben Kissel here with Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, it's me, man. Yeah, bro. Henry Zabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast on the left. Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have sativa. We have indica and we have a hybrid and I have to tell you for my personal experience, they are wonderful. Super tasty live resin. You really get the

delicious, weedy taste, which is what I like. And three different experiences. You go to your local vape store and get it. Absolutely. Thank y'all so much for supporting the show. We absolutely love you. Can't wait to see on the road and get that vape. Put it in your brain and have a good time. And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name. Last podcast on the left. It's weed. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. All right. Well, speaking of casinos, magic and lies, deception. Those are three things that occur at casinos regularly. This man, I almost want to make him a hero, but unfortunately he's not because he's also because most of your heroes also sort of

are kind of villains as well. Seguin, Texas. There was this dude, the Seguin police department has arrested this guy or no, they're looking for this guy rather. He's a magician. Oh, yes. And he would pull a trick where he would trick the employees at Walmart into giving him the wrong change. Well, this is old school. This is old school because that's a whole New York trick. Would someone be like, I never heard of this before. They do a thing with like, they'll give you like a $1 bill. I gave you a 50. I gave you a 50 and they need to like basically just decide whether or not this man will yell at you until you give him $40. Exactly. Yes. So the magician has played this trick on two different occasions at the same Walmart on January 10th and again on

February 12th. What he does is he uses a sleight of hand. The suspect would count the change in front of the employee and show that he was shortchanged. Oh, just the level. Well, using the other hand to pocket a portion of the money. Oh, shit. Do you talk about coins? I guess so. Wait a second. He's doing this for like 30 cents ago. Oh man, maybe like eight bucks, 10 bucks. You know, to be fair, you can buy a house at Walmart now. So maybe he bought some people like 40 fricking grand and he was like, you're too grand short on my change. I don't know. In cash? But he said the suspect had another outfit ready to repeat the same trick to other Walmart employees. So no one knows who he is. He's wearing the mask, obviously indoors and then

outdoors. You can kind of see a very blurry picture of his face. Yes. I mean they have like rest in the scans and stuff, but honestly, we still can't get a picture of people because magic. Magic indeed. He was trained in all walks. So if you're there, if you're a British people, I got back. It's perfect. If you, uh, if you work at that Walmart in Seguin, Texas, be careful. This magician is using his powers for you. But I also, you know, as long as it doesn't come out of the employee's pockets, which I could also see them doing. Oh, yeah. If you got stolen from it's coming out of your paycheck. Fuck you. Walmart's going to be fine. Walmart is great. When you were talking about that story you was watching the other day. I think

we've talked about on this where the head of Walmart was talking about himself as a small business owner. He was on CMBC. These Amazon guys are really running us out of business. We can't compete with Amazon. It's not free market. It's a monopoly. It's like, yeah, I'm welcome. Yeah, but also welcome to the thing that you created. You fucking piece of shit. Okay. But yeah, this is not the employee's fault. All right. No, it's not. This magician, they don't know he's a magician. He's because he doesn't come in with the ruffles on. If you, Rob, a entity, a bank or a Walmart or whatever, no violence was used. You just used magic. I don't know, man. You hire him a government. Yeah. You kind of get a pass. I mean,

it's like hackers. It really is. And it could be so much worse. I mean, if you're a Walmart employee and you get tricked into giving someone more change and you were robbed, it's like, that's the best way to be robbed. Technically, you got robbed by what normally you paid for a show. Money for a show. It's like, yeah, because it's simply, it's the same thing as having a magician be right in front of you. You can only do is take your things. That being said, if you have a supermarket, if you have a grocery store, if you have any kind of business, Chris Angel is not allowed. David Blaine is not allowed. Oh, never. No magicians. I would actually have decided to say no magicians allowed. I would have them in my home. No, of course,

not. I mean, they'll steal your wife, they'll steal your dog. And next thing you know, you're like naked on the couch, shoving a pickle up your asshole. That's what happened to him. You know what would be really sad is that all of a sudden I'm home with Natalie and Wendy, David Copperfield comes over. Next thing I know, I'm on the top of the fucking Statue of Liberty. What the fuck? What the fuck? I thought it was mirrors. I thought it was all mirrors. Oh, no. And then he has the power of the Nephilim. Oh, man, I'll never forget when I was a child and I was like, how'd they make the elephant disappear? And then they just, they moved the camera. Yeah, man. To the other spot. Yeah, everything that we've ever enjoyed has been

alive. I still don't know how they did the thing where you touch the screen and then they can get your card, right? That's garbage. That's all. That's just a math trick. That's math trick. Because they have all this. You try to do math trick, don't be mad. This is math trick. Well, it's because they, um, mentalism. And that's something. Mentalism is a whole other thing. Email, side stories, lpotl, gmail.com. If you know a single thing about mentalism, why does it work? Why do they do the thing where they're like, you're thinking of a color, but they always know what color you're thinking of. But you don't know what color I'm necessarily thinking of. But then there's something in the way that you ask the question that makes me think

of the color. I blame you. Well, and I think a lot of people want to, there are a lot of people pleasers out there. Yes. So though people would be like, yeah, you tell me what I was thinking. No, I'm not, I'm not one of them. Well, this story is really interesting. Henry, do you want to do this one? Speaking of, um, well, this is really no segue when it comes to people pleasing, but you TIs. Yeah. We don't, we don't got it. It could really help the poor people of this country. That's the UBI. And that is a classic Zabrowski bit. Doing it. I'll do it on stage. You'll see it this weekend. It's a urinary tract infection. This 45 year old woman, she had one. Um, and then it turns out it wasn't a UTI.

She actually had a glass tumbler stuck in her bladder for four years. I just, what is happening? I just don't know how. First of all, you don't sit around one day and say, wait a minute, I used to have that on my pussy. And then also how big is your pee pee hole? Well, I guess you can do that. Email, side stories, LPOTL, gmail.com. How big is your pee pee hole? Well, she said that, so this is a three inch wide thing, right? And, um, she said that she would use this drinking glass as a sex toy for a number of years. And then she inserted it into her urethra. Do they have a picture of the woman? No, they say she's Tunisian. She's Tunisian. So she inserted it into her urethra instead

of her vagina. And then, um, because of that, she had a whole bunch of problems. Take a look at that thing. That's a fucking goblet. It's a green glass. This case is real. It's the New York Post. There's no way it's not. Oh my God. Why are we on the New York Post? I love how they have this stock footage and the article where it's just a woman rubbing her lower belly going frowning, being like, I mean, that stock footage woman had no fucking clue. It was going to be about something sticking a cocktail glass up your peepee avenue. No, indeed it wasn't. So the risky activity involves inserting a glass or object into the urethra to quote heightened sexual pleasure and arousal. Now I had actually heard of men doing this. It's called sounding. Yeah,

we've talked about it. But I didn't realize that women could, uh, because the pio, I mean, I guess maybe it's the same size as the boys got there. I don't know, but I've never heard of a woman doing that before. We were just all in quarantine for so long. Well, this was pretty quarantine. I know. But then I feel like when you're in quarantine, you really kind of like, at some point, how did she not rediscover it? Well, I don't know. Where did the peepee go? I guess into the cup there. It was upside down. She had some inflammation of the bladder. Oh, there was some inflammation. Yeah, I wonder what it was. Yeah, but she didn't have any blood in her urine. I mean, the holy grail inside of her. You know, it's really interesting because

you would think it would have been a heck of a lot worse because there's the picture of the ultrasound there. You can see it all jammed up there. Like it's a little baby, but if she fucked like a cup from, um, from, uh, you know, what's that one cartoon there? Beast on the block. Beast on the block. Absolutely. Little, little devil in the, in the, in the bitch. Oh, nothing but trouble. Yes. Yeah. Nothing but trouble in the bitch. I really like that. And also it does look like she had Tom Cruise from cocktail, um, underneath her under a ladder while she was in the ladder and just like, one of those cups just went up inside of her. I have no clue why you, I mean, you know, however, man, I mean, it's not hurting anybody else. I mean, I'm glad it's not

my cup. I don't think she should use it anymore, but apparently various, this is according to a doctor. So they're smart. Various objects have been inserted into the bladder and many patients fail to remove them themselves. And then they're all embarrassed, right? So they don't go to the doctor and that tends to be why things go so awry. So if you did jam a cup up your pussy or your dick hole or your butthole, and maybe it is a pickle, whatever, just go to the doctor. They've seen it all. They've seen it all. You can't be embarrassed at the doctor. Okay. You really can't be. Cause I know that you might be, you might be, but they have seen it and whatever it is they've seen a lot of times is much worse, especially if you have to go to an emergency, ER, horrible things.

Yep. Well, either way. So she's, she's going to be, she's fine. She's fine. All I know is that, I mean, there's her fucking pea spray is going to be like a fan. I don't know what the hell is going to come out of her. I have no idea how any of it happened. The human body, huh? Yep. That's what I just keep saying. This is not about a human body. Okay. This story is about mothman body. We have another mothman sighting. This comes from phantomsandmonsters.com. This is really interesting. This is a little bit more like, you know, this is outside of Chicago hair. Again, there is some marijuana involved in this. Some people are going to be like, that's cause they were out there smoking doobies. And I have never seen

anything while smoking weed. No. And sometimes when you're smoking a little bit of a weed, you're more intense. You're more in tuned. Perhaps you'll be able to see things better. But that's also somehow, that's when I know that I have not been sleeping enough and I haven't been smoking too much weed in the days when I started seeing little spiders in the corners of my eyes. But he go to bed. I mean, I have that. I've seen like little, like little like, like if I haven't slept for a long time. Well, sometimes I'll go through like a week where I only sleep for like an hour. Are you Christian Bale from the machinist? You don't look like him. No, I don't. What is happening? What do you mean? You're sleeping one hour a

week? That was, there was a period of time at the very beginning of 2020 where I had a month or about where I did not sleep. Well, I thought your performances were great. Amen. I just, I'm a professional, bro. But you get in there like, but you do start to see a little wiggie, little thing going, and then you just got to work on it. Right? And then you go to, you think about like, just ask Natalie if there's any spiders around and when she says no believer. Absolutely. And then you just drink a bunch of bourbon and then you sleep for like eight hours. Very good. See, it's, it's all about medication. Now this story happened in March 5th, 2022, 10pm local time. I was out driving around with a guy I just started talking to.

We were out by the airport, just cruising around, listening to music and getting to know one another. All right. Well, this is the most suspect. We started to park to smoke some bud. One thing led to another. We were in the backseat. And when he looked, as he looked up and started screaming, what the flag? Something with four letters in an F over and over and over again. What the flag? Whoa. I think it was more like fuck. Oh, that's the word. It was then that we felt like something bumped in the side of the car. Oh my God. It's the scariest thing of all time. The director of, what is it, he be jeebies? Jeepers, creepers, creepers. Get him out of here. He molested a boy and he

still continues to work in the show business. We don't know. Oh, what a wonderful institution. A security guard shows up. So I sat up and I saw a pair of bright red eyes and a big black body looking into the driver's side window into the backseat and scared the both of us. And we both started screaming out loud. This thing kept looking into the car and then just disappeared on the cops. The security guard shows up. They made us get out of the car and started asking us why we were there. But after looking at us, they started asking about what we had seen. We told them and they screamed at us that you get dressed and you get the hell out of here. You little lovers. Because I don't get to kiss here. I don't ever get to kiss here unless it's Greg. And Greg

doesn't like my kisses. He has to pretend I'm a woman. Oh, Greg, come on. The couple was a 20-year-old Hispanic lady and a 26-year-old. And they were, yeah, they were just there. They were making out. This actually sounds quite romantic. It reminds me of Wayne's World when they were hanging out. I mean, Wayne and Garth never bone to our knowledge, although I'm sure there's some fan fiction out there. Yes. But remember, they were just hanging out and they were watching the planes go by. They were having a good conversation. Yes. It seems like there could be some romance here. And I'm almost envious. Even if this isn't real, I'm envious that they, you know, got to just spend some time together alone in the car near an airport.

But they went and they looked him back up. We just know for a fact that there has just been. It just continues. Mothman sightings and giant flying humanoid sightings continue. The fandoms of monsters, they followed up with this person who wrote in. And they basically got the skinny again. They said the whole story again. They said that the worst part really was the faces of the security guys when they came to talk to them, seeing how scared that they were. So who knows? That to me is kind of the real marker of that. When you start to act like you really have seen something. Because sometimes it takes a while for your brain to sort of register that you're seeing something that you're not used to seeing because your brain

is really always trying to fight to find a way to validate something. Humanize the, I forget what it's called. There's some term for it. Anthropomorphications. This is part of the reason why people tend to see winged humanoids is because they're anthropomorphications. Because what that does is it makes you see the human face and human body in things. Right. Yes. So who knows? That's very interesting. Let's go to the Bronx. Let's go away from the wonders of Mothman. Dead ass. That's what I saw. I've seen those memes. You know, for single people out there, I'm one of them. This is why it's horrifying and life is horrifying. Oh no, it's very scary to be single. There's a New York City woman. She lured her date to

meet her at a Bronx apartment and things went horribly wrong. How? They fell in love, got married? No. She covered him in flammable liquids and then demanded a hundred thousand dollar ransom while his brother watched on FaceTime. Might as well get married. Yeah. Cops found him about 24 hours later in the back of a van. Valerie Rosario. She's 22 years young, 22 years fun. That's a very, that's a, that's a really aggressive idea for a 22 year old to have. Yeah. The hookup occurred at 1 a.m., probably a UEP text or something like that or some T.M. And then within minutes of her date arriving, the man was pistol whipped, bound and gagged by three other dudes. And then throughout the night, the man was subjected to barbaric torture.

He was reportedly placed in a bathtub before being stripped, burned and stabbed while having a flammable liquid thrown all over him. I would just say this was not what I had in mind when I said, yeah, I'll be over soon. Now, what, how did this roll out? What happened then? Well, so Rosario since has been charged with kidnapping and attempted murder. So basically what happened? It was a, she duped a Tinder date into coming over to her property and that was really just the beginning. And you know, he's a 24 year old dude. He's all warned up. No one's been around anybody, you know, for two freaking years. He says, sure, I'll go do it. But, but, you know, so he showed, yeah, she's got the three dudes there. How long has this been going? She

must have been, she must have been fishing. Had the guys over there. There's probably some kind of plan. I don't think it's that hard. But that's what I'm saying. What you do is you just like, it's the numbers games. I get on somebody on subway where you just keep saying, I eat your ass, bitch. Eventually some, maybe one point if you guys, the guys asking to eat your pussy on the train, the reason why they do that is that one out of a hundred times it has, let's go, let's go 10,000 times. Do you really think it's that little, you'd be surprised because you just meet another person that is just as crazy as you are in a place like New York where you just meet somebody who's just like, go out in dinner bale. That happens. It really does. But, but less

than you want it to, which is the reason why they do it again and again and again. And you keep doing it. So this seems like it's like you're just waiting for one dude to bite. Yes. And again, not that difficult to do, certainly not with social media, the way that it is. And you know, horny, early ought, early ought people. Yeah. Early 20s. You don't feel it's less horny now than it used to be back in the day. Buddy, I am telling you, there's just people are fricking horned up, horned up. I was at one of my places I like to go to Woodman and I don't know what was going on there in front of me. There was a couple talking at the bar. And then I, I'm fairly certain he was, well, I should maybe say this for a sanitary reason, but let's just say they were very aggressively

touching each other. Cool. And it was like, wow, people are horny. Wow. At the Woodman. Yeah. Yeah. The Woodman. I guess so. So were you, you're just watching them? No, I wasn't watching them. I was watching the game. I was just, no, I saw, I was people daisying, but no, I was not like scaring at them. Yeah, they don't think they weren't scared of you. No, they didn't. No, I'm just in the back. I just said, man, touch me, Dave. Touch me, Dave. I don't know if this man might follow us back to this apartment. Look at him. That is not happening. He's yelling about the clippers. He's yelling about the clippers. I did yell a little bit at the NCAA March Vandis tournament. Anyway, so Rosario, she lives in Manhattan's Lower East Side with her mom and

her brother. And she set up the Honey Trap Scheme. And yeah, so it's a whole family. It's a whole thing. She's super cute. I mean, you know, yeah, absolutely. She's good bait. Yep. And apparently cops were able to track him down 24 hours later, tied in the back of a van and barely breathing. Oh my God. What a day. What a day. So anyway, how do you go back to the dating pool? Like, how do you go back from there to be like, yeah, I'm ready. Let me just ask you, hey, Sheila, do you plan to fucking torture me for two days? Poor guy. It's really scary. That is very, very scary. It really is. And maybe it is more dangerous for women on the whole than men, because it really, because look at this, dudes, it took a whole team to torture you. A lot of

times it just takes one man to kill a woman for both parties meeting in a public place first. Sure. Is a wonderful way to kick it off. I also truly do believe maybe this is maybe my years of experience speaking in there. Maybe this is a little old. Why not do a preliminary Skype before you do a meetup for see a person's face. Oh my God. Romance is dead. I'm just saying before you meet up with them for the first time. A preliminary Skype. Don't you want to see number one, that it's not just like, they have to go through a lot of like, like drop a FaceTime on them. Be like, what's your FaceTime? Yeah. But nowadays with all these different kind of apps, don't get me going. No one's face looks like that. No one's face looks like that.

It's all lies. It's all deception. Just trying to meet someone in real life. Yeah. I honestly think it's also really nice, but I also understand the roller coaster line. That's a good place. The DMV is really good. Oh, you know how people are so sexy and horny at the DMV. They're just so ready to flip it and flirt. I get hard in the car before going in, just so that I have something to think about at the DMV. Besides, I wonder what papers I don't have that they're going to send me home for. And then you find out, it's all of them. A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge.

The bridge. Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left. Bre bring you Mothman's red eye blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans. Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. Now this next story, we'll cover this real quick. This story is fucking wild. Now again, Florida, doing great. Doing great. Can't wait to be in Jacksonville. We'll see you this week. Honestly, we're going to be in Jacksonville. We're going to be in Atlanta. Come check us out. I can't wait in Memphis. We're going to be in Graceland. I'm going to see the toilet that Elvis died on. Is that real or fake? That is real. That is true. Well, it's because he had a heart

attack from being so, uh, contemplated from the pills. Yes, those pills, man. Um, but he is going to, uh, yeah, we're going to see all, we're getting a private tour. Can't wait. We're going to see all the inside of Graceland. I don't know if we're allowed to see the toilet. Well, they might even move the toilet. Well, why would they do that? That's a piece of history. I think it might be haunted. If there was a haunted toilet, oh, that one was the one. It would be on tour if it was haunted. Oh, yes. A microphone. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Why is men say that fucking toilet rocks? Whoa, man. Unbelievable. Now this story again, Florida. Uh, so they're doing great. Now this comes from the sheriff's office. This is the thing. You date a cop. You think, oh, I'm safe forever.

Look at this cop I'm dating. Uh-oh. Um, and sometimes it goes, uh, poorly. It does go poorly. Uh, this was a beach, there's a Palm Beach County sheriff's deputy got into deep trouble. Um, internal affairs said that apparently deputy sheriff Joshua Brack, when they broke up with this young woman who broke up with him, um, they broke up. We could have been mutual. I'm not really certain. Um, the ex-girlfriend and will not go named. Um, he engaged in misconduct or miscommitted various crimes while on and off duty. It seems that they goes all the way down to, um, disseminating agency information by sending a crime scene video to an unauthorized person. I sent nude and explicit photographs of himself on his work email while in duty, while on duty and in uniform, um, neglected

to respond to an in progress call for service and possess unauthorized weapons in his patrol vehicle amongst other allegations. Now this is a lot of shit. He said, apparently the first thing that happened is that they broke up. They had lived together for nine months. They were together for two years. Um, the ex-girlfriend said, I, all right, so we made an arrangement. He would come back to my, my parents house to retrieve personal items of his because he's already out, right? And then the rest of his bullshit. They're done. Um, and then when he arrived, he said, apparently he told them number one, this seems to be a, a series of confessions he made to this woman that he, um, allegedly sent money to different males after having sex with that one.

Just really, if you want to get your wife back, talking about all the gay prostitutes you've been having sex with is going to be a difficult part of the conversation. Well, it could also lead to some empathy. Absolutely. Maybe an arrangement can be struck up, but it wasn't just, I don't think that I, I feel like this was done. I think the relationship is done. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. I don't think it was any coming back. Um, he then it's talked, told about how like, he bragged to her about how what he loved to do was pull people over, take marijuana from them, and then go smoke it in his own patrol car, which is wild again. Between the gay sex workers and the marijuana. I'm loving this guy.

It's kind of cute if it's the movie super troopers, but unfortunately this is Florida where there are true crimes that might need to be solved. Shaking down people in traffic stops. It's horrible. If we would go, Hey, give me your money, which is very scary. That's not what we're ramping up ramping up. Um, he started, he sent a pictures of a decapitated person from a car crash to his ex-girlfriend. So like, Hey, take a look at this. Isn't this kind of fun? Like a low ruffle. Yes. Like a low ruffle. Like a rotten.com front, front page picture. Right. He then sent, um, he was explaining about how he would take pictures of his penis sticking out while he was in uniform with his license. So you could see the, the badge, like the number

visible. And he sent it out on grinder. This man is really not that smart of a criminal. He's just, you would think as a cop, you would have a little bit more insight into how we'll avoid, how to avoid being caught and that kind of stuff. But like, maybe he wanted to be caught. I think the tiktokers might say he's out here, fam. Right. I don't know. He's really, I think the term is, he's out of pocket. Maybe he's not being nooch. Is that a new word? I'm making up a word. No, he's not being noch. All right. Well, that'll be the last time we hear that. Noch means good. Noch means fucking top noch. Not everything has to be a zodiac cipher. I just wish that words were what they meant. No, now we're starting to sound like

old water Republicans. Yes. That was like, what do you mean? Bad means good. Bad means good. We had this conversation in the 80s. Yep. But there's just a lot of this. And apparently, yeah, it just really escalated. And then he said, like, he's just not a good ex-boyfriend. And he doesn't, I don't think he should be a fricking cop. But you're really, really going to say here, there's like one here. The photographs were of deputy, of sheriff's deputy, Brack, while on duty and in his PBSO issued uniform and a restroom stall with his uniform pants off, generals exposed and in various positions. Photograph one depicted DS Brack posing on his knees with his buttocks and generals exposed. His uniform pants are lying on the floor

next to him. Photograph two depicted DS Brack posing on his arms and knees with his buttocks and generals exposed. In this photograph, his PBSO portable radio was observed on the bathroom floor. Photograph three depicting DS Brack standing with his buttocks and generals exposed. I see we're immature for this. But interestingly enough, to put a button on that, interestingly enough, the internal affairs investigator, they did find that he violated seven Palm Beach County Sheriff rules, including. One is you take your dicks out, your shirt better be off as well. That might be a standard conduct and neglect of duty. That's a two time improper conduct offensives. That's a three times and dissemination of information. However,

Brack was not found to have violated any laws. However, he was fired. But isn't it all the shakedowns and bribes? Isn't that a, isn't that illegal? You know what they finally got him on? What? That they finally decided to arrest him on was having an unsecured infant in his vehicle. Oh my God. So they got him out of traffic. So because then obviously he's deep in the hands of internal affairs. They've been following him. They cause the girlfriends feeding him all this information being like he's doing all this fucked up shit. He's definitely not hiding it. And then they caught him with the baby just rolling around like it's a fucking old seltzer can at the back of the car while he's just driving around with this. And I honestly, I'm driving

with Wendy in the car because Wendy's one of those where she's not a good car. And I'm not actively a cop. No. Well, technically as a, as a comedian, I'm always on duty. All right. Let's get to hear her up the week. I just don't even know where the rest of the story goes. I will get to before we'll finish this obviously, but yeah, he's trying to stay up. He basically said all this was a stupid mistake. Yeah. That was his big statement. I mean, it seems extremely dangerous and he's probably going to end up killing somebody. Oh, he's very to eat a very dangerous person. So I'm not exactly sure. Have you ever heard the story Russell Williams? No. Here's this story that you really should check out at some point because

his story is fucking wild. There is a really good, I believe the, the YouTube channel that I watch is JCS has an interrogation thing about this is the guy that was a colonel, the Canadian armed forces. And then he would break into people's homes and dress up in women's panties and take all the pictures and shit. And he's got that severe fucking crazy face. Like he's got like, he looks like a, like the, he looks like the old man. You know, when they do the close-ups and Ren and Stimpy, when they cut to the old man's like, yeah, I eat cups like, like that. This is why people who are so buttoned up, they love uniform. They love conformity. That's their exterior. It's always the interior is always. And then on the weekends, I break

into people's houses and steal their panties and I wear them and I take pictures. And to be fair, he looks a hell of a lot better than BTK. He really does. He's fit. He's very fit. But that is more, we got to cover him in maybe a deep dive. Yes, we will. He did a, he did a lot of crimes. Jesus. That's disgusting. Anyway, all right, let's do a hero of the week. Now this guy, it's a Canadian millionaire. Oh, so we're going to celebrate. We're celebrating another millionaire. Yeah, I actually don't. This is another person whose problems are like, solve. Yeah. And like, okay, so the thing is, this is a, this is going to make people mad, right? So it's a Canadian millionaire. And you would think like, okay, so he has a life savings, right? He has 500 grand.

Sure. But like, what do you want? What would you want him to do with that? His life savings, he's going to do one thing with it. So he's on his deathbed. Let's say he's dead. Sure. Let's say he's dead. Sure. Okay. And if there's what they're going to do, I think that he should do a thing for disadvantaged youth, like some kind of like hostile type thing, like a place where disadvantaged youth can find a place to live and, and, and learn and grow and be taken care of by people there, by support staff. Now that's one idea. But now what this man did, his name is Keith Owens, his dying wish. He planted more than 100,000 daffodils. Isn't that nice? We don't need daffodils. So no, we don't know. They're technically weeds. And so, but he planted them in the town.

And it was a generous gift. So isn't that nice? He was for the Canadian, for the Canadian fucking people. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2007 and decided to leave his life savings of $3 million to a conservatory. And then they planted, why didn't he just, there's so many things he could do. Yeah. Yeah. But he made, but he planted daffodils. Why? Well, that we just don't know because he's not going to see them, but maybe he wants to be remembered. What do data lines do? What do daffodils do? Oh, nothing. They kind of blow around and get in your eye and cause some, some sort of allergic reaction sometimes. But he said he wanted the money to be used to support local projects, which made use of voluntary labor.

And in particular, to disdain the ambience of life. So people work for free? Yes. And so now there's 153,000 bulbs planted across the town. And the nice thing is they're all beginning to bloom. Great. So Ed Harrison of the Sidmouth Civic Society said, every year it brings back happy memories of this man who did this amazing thing. No, he planted a bunch of daffodils. Daffodils don't serve a purpose. How many emails are we going to get? I mean, honestly, I think they poison dogs. I'm pretty sure daffodils are dangerous to dogs. So, but it's not just daffodils. It's snowdrops, daffodils and crocus bulbs. And those were among the 153,000 flowers. We need clean energy. Yes. But now he, these are homeless people all over the North America. They need help.

Yeah. Well, either way, diabetes medication is like $25 a pop. Like he could have bought all of this like insulin stuff he could have given to a bunch of people. You could buy some woman new tits. That's worth it. That's even better. Buy a bunch of people who want tits, tits. Yeah, that's really true. But either way, snowdrops, daffodils and crocus bulbs. So thank you. So he died in 2007. So he died real fast. Their doctors were like, you're about to die. And then he just died. But he is a hero, even if he doesn't know it. It's better than what? Better than, I guess. Keith Owen. I guess it's better than building a fucking, how I want to say, like a guillotine? Yeah, exactly. You could do, you know, he went out, he went out in peace. Thinking about his

shit. The more I read it, the more I was, it's actually infuriating. It's such a waste of money. It's such a waste of money. Because I think, I think daffodils, I think daffodils, colossal waste of money. They kind of grow free. They're just there, man. They're weeds. They're literally what you said. They're fucking weeds. Either way, he made the list. So I mean, no matter what, he is a hero now. He is a hero now. We've already done it. I also found out that honey is be vomit. Oh, to make it better or worse than be shit. Who cares? Who cares? I don't care. I'm going to eat honey. I'm going to stop over. I got to stop. How are we as a society, both overthinking and underthinking everything? This is why everybody talks about the idea of

like, you squeeze actually a calamari's pig asshole. Well, guess what? Pig asshole is great. You know, I just, I guess I fucking love pig asshole. I guess so. I don't know. And whatever. But yeah, we love our beekeepers here. We actually did get a surprising number of emails from beekeepers. They are, they serve a fantastic purpose. They do. And honestly, in Beezers, he said the thing about, because we were talking about, this is the East Las Vegas thing where all the muck, like all the weird bee stuff. And what they were saying is actually, it sounds incredibly concerning because it sounds like the bees are sick. And this is the thing is that we have these various, I think it's pesticides that we use that make bees sick.

And bees are incredibly important, incredibly important part of the fucking world. And if I can, they, whatever it is, circle of life ecology. Yeah. So be sad about that. All right. Nothing you can do about it. The man who planted all those daffodils, I'm sure bees love to suck daffodils. No, I don't think they do. I actually don't know. Email side stories lpotlgmail.com. Is there a purpose to a daffodil? Should we commit suicide? I don't know. Here we go. Some listener emails. Okay, I like this. I don't believe in ghosts nor have I ever. But last year in Halloween made me resort to this explanation. Now, before I get into it, I am not mentally ill nor does mental illness run in my family. Sure. Wink. Right. And I have not

told one family where it doesn't to be honest. Yes. Because mine doesn't just run its prints. You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps. But I have told anyone this story in fear of judgment or ridicule. I've never told anyone on Halloween 2021. I female came home from my friend's house completely sober as the weed we smoked had long worn off. I got straight into bed and as it was very late and I worked in the morning, right? So I felt a pressure at the end of my bed. And I've all of a sudden I was intensely horny. And there was an indescribable get pleasurable feeling in my genitals. And for 10 minutes, I had the most enjoyable sexual experience of my life. Think of the best orgasm you've ever had for 10 minutes straight. That

could only be the ghost of Dom Dulloese. And now I know. Because if you had a little liquor stung like me. Yes, he did. Now, I don't know if there's a logical explanation, but between this and other strange happenings in my room, I think this might have been a ghost. Wow. She got ghost fucked. Sounds like she loved it. That's yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Heck yeah. Oh yeah, right. Good for, I mean, I find that interesting. Again, email, side stories, lpltllgmail.com. We want you to be a part of our, we will do our big old call in show for open lines. Absolutely. About this. Absolutely. I'm telling you, man, people are horny right now. Oh yeah. I guess. I'm telling you. I work as a paramedic and a few years ago, we got called to a high school psych class that

got masked hypnotized by a YouTube hypnosis video. Get out of here. This is interesting. Basically it was the last week or two of their senior year and everyone is just phoning it in. The psych teacher put on a YouTube video that was essentially sounds, repetitive patterns on a screen and guided meditations for 30 kids. So the teacher played the video with the lights turned down. By the way, smart fucking teacher talking about taking the day off. Oh yeah, exactly. We're like, we'll think we've done classwork today. And when it ended, half the class was still in a trance. I guess they tried to wake them up, but it didn't really work. So they moved the rest of the kids out of the room and called 911. Oh my God. This is, I mean, this is what we said during the

episode. This is the idea of playing with mass hypnosis. It does work. It's about setting the standard. It's about setting a place where you feel comfortable and at ease. And all of a sudden, it's close to sleep. So when we get the call at the school with multiple patients, we say it's a mass casualty situation. We've got six paramedics, a bunch of the firefighters, two ER physicians coming to the scene. When I get there, the kids are just zoned out. They're not moving, not fidgeting, nothing, totally Zen. And they've been like this for 30 to 40 minutes. Shortly after the doctors we get there, we start talking about what we should do. Are they all fucking with us as a senior prank? Are they stuck like this forever? And this is legit. Can we influence their subconscious

by telling them to do stuff, right? We end up calling the head of psych at the trauma center for a consult. Essentially, he said, hypnosis may or may not work, but there's something to it. Move them into different rooms, and they should snap out of it. But he stressed to not mess with them. So we sectioned off the room with blankets and curtains and almost have on cue. They opened their eyes, but acted confused. And as they woke up, as they woke up and we moved into different rooms and asked them what happened, universally, they all said they fell asleep watching a video and woke up here from the time of the 911 call. And so the first kid waking up was over 90 minutes. Now he's saying that's either the best senior prank I have ever heard of or hypnosis is real.

Wow. Either way, I never watched a full YouTube video. I've seen some shit, but that one might be the strangest. I don't know because it could be, but you know what, I feel like with kids, man, I guess if you just keep holding and you keep holding, it's like what we've said before. You can make it real. Yeah. Like if you just don't let go. Like if you just let it go, because maybe that's a part of what, because then in hypnosis stuff I was reading about, they say that's the thing. That's what they're looking for with a good hypnosis candidate. As someone says, I wasn't hypnotized. I was doing it all because you told me to do. And it's like, so what's hypnosis then? Well, let's just end it with that question. What is hypnosis then?

How, this is a crime. How can you shove a pickle up your butthole anymore? This is a crime. How? What? What? I fucking love that guy. I want to meet that guy. Gene Kelly. Who is this fucking guy's life? Gene Kelly. Gene Kelly. That's incredible. So guys, you just got to remember to live your life knowing and so excited about our shows in Jacksonville, Atlanta. See, I'm putting a plug in the church. You're doing a good job with the plugs. Atlanta, Memphis. We got to get out there, see these shows. I was very, very excited to be very excited to see all these people. Can't wait to see my friends in Atlanta. Yeah. Can't wait to see the Shane Madeline, all my fucking crew up there. You started naming names and now you're not going to name all the

names and now you're just going to map. You know, but those of you haven't made, I love you as well. Chris Brown. Those are the singers? These are just names. No, not this. No. A long gangly white man who made the puppets for your pretty face is going to hell. Okay. Never Chris Brown, the singer. I didn't even like his music before he started punching Rihanna. I don't know why. I love the fact that you didn't like Chris Brown. Sure. Back even then. All right. Because he sucked then, he was just a dancer. He was a fucking overrated dancer who could sing some things, right? Kind of like, maybe I get in trouble. Oh, maybe I shouldn't even say it. Oh, don't even say it. Paul Abdull. Wow. Is that hard to say in the middle of a triple L that I think she's kind of,

not that great. She's all right. I like opposites attract. The cartoon cat that she had sex with. Love that song. Very great. Rhythm nation. No, Janet Jackson. That was Janet Jackson. No, Paula. Paula was a fantastic pop artist for the time. Well, she was, she's more of an iconic character at this point. Yeah. She does the judging. And then just laugh. The fact that I probably just got the Paula Abdull nation lined up against me. They're a humble nation, the Paula Abdull nation. She's cool. She's chill. She's chill. Yeah. She's chill. She's chill. Great. Coming out to Memphis, coming out to Jacksonville, coming out to Atlantic. She check it out. You see my old friends in Jacksonville. You start naming their names. Oh my God. You just angered everyone. I don't know what else I'm

going to say. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. We hope you're doing well out there. And thank you for supporting everything here on The Last Podcast Network. Okay. Hail yourselves. Magus de lesions. Hail Satan. Oh, wow. Yep. That's better than Paula Dool. Thank you. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.