Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Raccoon with a Meth Pipe

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Eddie and Marcus bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news but first, the boys catch up after their subsequent Spring Break trips abroad, the gang sends love and thoughts to The Zebrowski Family, and then it's time for this week's stories - A 10th victim of Herb Baumeister identified through genealogy investigation, Austrian Mystery-Mummy found to be embalmed "via rectum", Pittsburgh funeral home owner charged for allegedly dumping "cremated" pets in landfill , Australian Lawnmower-Murder-Pilot secures major court win after judge grants bail, Ohio Police Body Cam captures Raccoon with Methpipe(s) during bizarre Traffic Stop, Black Bear kills 89 year old man in first ever Bear Attack-death in Florida, Bear Attacks... IN HISTORY, Florida woman killed as kayaking couple are attacked by an 11-foot Alligator, and lastly, on the flip side, Hollywood mourns the loss of famous silver-screen gator, star of Happy Gilmore, Interview with a Vampire, Eraser, Blues Brothers 2000, and more... Morris the Alligator dead at 80(something). For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes. I'd put money on Alec Baldwin's father being an alcoholic how much 50 bucks not not gonna take it Welcome to side stories ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks

I'm here filling in for Henry Zabraski here with Ed Larson. How you doing today? I'm pretty good. If you're gonna fill in I'm afraid I'm gonna ask you to put on a lot more weight Do we have a fat suit yeah, I'm gonna go full clump today Well listen Obviously we hear Marcus because we have some unfortunate news. We lost a member of the last podcast family and Big Henry's a brosky Henry's a brosky senior. Unfortunately has passed away and we will do a nice bigger announcement But Henry's taking the week off

And we're gonna let the boy rest and let the against his own will. I get. Oh my God. A medical professional even though both was like you know what we don't you don't have to. A medical professional had to ask him why are you working right now. Oh yeah. No he's a maniac and got committed. We say committed. Yes, and you know, hail Big Henry, we love you. I miss that guy already, he was a lot of fun. I remember the day I met him was when I helped Jackie move in to her dorm at Florida State, and then Big Henry was there, and I was like, all right, this is Henry's dad, you know, and he was so obnoxious, and we all went to chilies and he kept yelling at the waitress

And I was like this guy's funny Yes rest in peace Henry senior when you go to that good old Submarine in the Gulf of Mexico in the sky. Yes. Yes, and we will Henry and I will be awful about it next week. Don't worry because I also have a dead dad and you know we can commiserate that as well I believe I believe our dads died equally as horrible. Yeah Man mine's the only one alive. That's right. That's right. You last you made it buddy congratulations That's right. You're last you made it buddy. Congratulations Tell him yeah, yeah, yeah, he loves there's nothing he loves more than outliving people

You know, I like it too, yeah Always a blast. So hail big Henry. We're doing the show without little Henry this week and but we took the week off yesterday You still heard plenty of podcasts We don't fucking take a week off from you, but we took a week off from our own lives and had some fun You went to Hawaii. Did you do anything silly? Did you get in trouble fourth? But my first vacation in four years Wow gonna like a true vacation true vacation Yeah, no family just you and Carolina. Yeah, man. Just went to the beach. No, actually we did mostly rainforest shit Oh, yeah, I was right. I don't know how well you do at the beach. I had a lot of sunscreen on the entire time I was there. Like fucking slather, like I'd put the

fucking spray on and then slather on the lotion. Yeah. Yeah, man. It was fucking amazing. Yeah. When a kayak and down this river to these secret falls. Yeah. They were cool. And they have, where are they? I can't tell you. I was gonna say. I'm just gonna say, I'm trying to get you. Yeah. He's gonna take kayak down. Yeah. Went to a kawaii. I want to say hello to Mike who runs Aloha tours. I think it's called the Aloha shuttle. Okay. He's a big fan. Oh, it was fun. We got, yeah, we got on the, the bus, the shuttle that like takes you around so you don't drive drunk

So like different bars and you know resorts and shit. Oh hell yeah, you know, I got he's like hey ocean Oh fuck you guys are Big no dogs in space fans. So thank you very much Mike. We'll see you next time. We're in kawaii Amazing. I love so much man, dude It was just an actual relaxing time like nothing like it was just wonderful And I had this moment under a waterfall where I was like just fucking I mean barraged with water It came out as this cleansing moment felt fucking incredible like I felt like so like I'd something had been washed away Oh, man. Yeah, beautiful. It was cool. And you know Hawaii they have their very own little people really I can't remember what they're called

The Minahunee the Minahunee. Yeah, Minahunee. Yeah, they have this it's this legend where they're kind of like their shoemaker elves Okay, where the Minahunee are these like tiny people these dwarf are they real? No, okay No, it's like a legend. Okay, they come out at night and they you know build bridges and they make shit happen but what was interesting is that I looked up the minahuni and What did you ever hear about the hobbit skeleton? Yes. Yeah So it turns out that some people think that the minahuni may actually have been some of those hobbit people That the original settlers of Hawaii like had taken from Indonesia or I think that's where they found the hobbit skeleton Okay, but it taken them from there and they were in fact their servants

So like the original settlers of Hawaii may have had like an army of dwarves as their servants Wow. Yeah, that's fucking It's bad, but Can you imagine like settling a new land and like you just have a bunch of dwarves doing all of your work for you? Man, it's Wonka. Yeah, it is except for pineapples. Holy shit, dude. It's holy Wonka. Yeah Hawaii is funky Wonka land. Yeah I love Hawaii man. I can't wait to go back. There's lots of crazy shit there Yeah, it's all invasive species and I think that's you know, fine

Yeah chickens everywhere because we went to kawaii, you know And the reason why kawaii only has as the only island has chickens is because back and you know when they were first settling The the islands they had a rat problem. And so one of the guys he was a sail You know these guys we talked about it in the Batavia series, these guys just fucking sail everywhere. And so this guy had gone from Hawaii to Africa and like some dude in some village somewhere said like, oh yeah, you got a rat problem? Take a mongoose over there, it'll take care of it in a second. Fucking dude got together 7,000 mongooses, mongees, and just fucking put them on every

single island except Hawaii, which is why every other island doesn't really have like a big bird population Yeah, but kawaii has a great bird population and chickens fucking everywhere know what happened with the mongoose thing I learned this when I was over there because I was mongoose everywhere first time I saw mongoose I was like what the fuck is that a mongoose? I was like flipping out and shit And I was like what the hell's going on with all the mongoose that came to kill the rats And I was like what the hell's going on with all the mongoose that came to kill the rats But the problem with that was yeah, the what the rats are nocturnal and the mongoose stay awake during the day So they didn't kill him enough so they had to bring in a bunch of cats

And now there's a fucking cats everywhere And then you know so now the cats are a problem the rats are a problem the mongoose are a problem And so you know Hawaii is just filled with these invasive species shout out to my friend April McCormick who has to kill some of those cats Unfortunately from time to time Wow because they you know There's so many of them and they're fucking with all the other thing all the killing all the birds and all this shit You gotta do a cult you gotta do the thing so they work for animal control. Yes Well, they she works for like like science like researchers And then also she has to go kill cats occasionally and like it's totally changed her she used to be like a

strict vegetarian and like you know wouldn't you know now she's just like hardened eats pork and shit and fucking she's like a whole new person And so you know shout out to her Thanks for killing the cats. Yeah, I don't know like it's weird You know, but it's you know, what are you gonna do? Well, that's a thing I I get it like I get that protectiveness, because there was a moment, we were on this hike on Sunday, and it was the most beautiful hike

I've ever taken in my life. It was up on top of a mountain, going on the ridges, there's fucking valleys on both sides, see all of these huge plants and trees growing up, and I'd never had a thought like this in my head it just suddenly popped in my head and I thought I would kill for this place yeah I would kill no to preserve this place until I keep this place safe it is a very important place yeah why I love it so much just like learning about it when I was there it's

it's it's wild new you want and you know why everyone who lives there is so protective about it yeah I got it I It's wild. And you know why everyone who lives there is so protective about it. Yeah, I got it. I finally got it on that last day. Yeah, I understand. And I also even appreciated how chill people were about protecting it. Oh, yeah.

They were very cool about it. They have to be. Otherwise, you flip out. Hawaii, unfortunately, high suicide rate. Really? Yeah, yeah. And it's also, I learned Key West also is a high suicide rate. Well.

And it's interesting, well, it's like that island escape culture, I feel like, you know, it might invite people who are a little under the weather mental health-wise. Can't run away from your problems. That's right. It's someone going to the island thinking, this is going to fix everything. Like if I only make it to everything like if I only make it to Hawaii if I only make it to Key West then I'll be totally fine and all my problems will be solved Yeah, and you discover that does not happen at all. It's pros act. Yeah

But the cool thing is that we went to kawaii like it was funny I Realized later that it was somewhat like subconscious because we were choosing which island to go to and Finally I was like no let's go to kawaii like that feels right like let's just let's try this place And I realized the reason why is because lori vallo That's where she got arrested And that's where she had that her favorite island was kawaii okay, and she stayed on the North Shore We stayed on the south. I mean you know you can like the same thing. Yeah She stayed on the North Shore, we stayed on the South. I mean, you know, you can like the same things.

Yeah. It's okay, you know. Hawaii's very nice. Yeah. Her and Chad got married on the beach. Remember they paid like $500 for a beach wedding and a photographer and that's where she was arrested and extradited from. But yeah, it was in Kauai.

It was in Princeville up top, the shishi part i was told yes of course yeah of course always the best because they have to spend that uh insurance money from the murdered wife somehow uh but and that's what i did like i had to stop myself from like just telling like random lori valo facts to strangers. Oh, yeah, it's hard Like the only time that I really talked about was I was on a hike Like when we went down to the secret falls you you know we had a guide and we went like on a tour You kayak down there's like we went with a bunch of bro dudes on like their bro vacation their brovay their brocation Yeah, like a bunch of guys in there like late 20s like early 30s But you know of course like talking shit like dudes do the regular dudes like it better shut up

I go else is gonna put us on a podcast like only if you murder someone yeah If you kill someone you're on yeah, if you kill someone we're definitely gonna talk about you a lot I met you and you're a murderer, you're in. Yeah, there's no way we're not talking about it. Man, with this picture, this, I guess these aren't engagement. These are wedding photos. These are wedding photos of Chad Dayball and Lori Vallow. You think he's faking the guitar here?

The ukulele? He doesn't know how to play ukulele They just handed it to him and said pretend yeah Yeah, and she's trying to do a hula dance and looking fucking horrible doing it She doesn't have a ounce of rhythm in her life and fucking a body It is interesting to look at this photo and know that this man is going to get riddled But with bullets from the government. It really is, man. I didn't think about it that way. God, yeah, he's just going to be fucking slumped up next to a pole with a bunch of fucking blood just gushing out of his body. This would be the outfit, too. The white outfit.

If you're going to do it, man. Put him back in the fucking linen. Matt, I wonder if you can request, like, the color. Yeah. Like, in which you can be killed. Yeah, request white. Dude, Dolphin's Jersey for me, for sure. No, I'd say white flannel. White flannel. Can you do white flannel?

I don't know if I've ever seen white flannel. It'd be hot, I just like flannel. I feel like it would have to mix with orange or something. Yeah, man. All right, all right. Well, that's gonna fuck with, anything that shows the blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just make sure the blood is really on display and then I'll be, well, not happy, because I'll be executed by the government, but satisfied? Satisfied, you made one choice. Yeah. You made one choice. Yeah, linen, I think as always it will be would be the best Cloth to be shot by the government in and on that note. How is your vacation?

Well speaking of invasive species the invasive species tour was a success. Hell, yeah Thank you to everyone who came out. I did 11 shows over two separate tours fucking hour I by myself, finally never done it before, I've done it 11 times now and it's fucking, it was great. It went really well. It's hard to like say that you did really well, but I did. And it was fucking cool. Everyone who came to the shows had a great time. I loved meeting everyone. Thank you so much for everyone that understood that Henry Obviously called out from the side story shows and danya and Orlando

He even like even then even though he called out He still like called he let me call him during the show and and make fun of him and so, you know, it was a It was it was a journey and you know, and it was like luckily I had a bunch of dead dad jokes that I could tell and you know, and it was like, luckily I had a bunch of dead dad jokes that I could tell and you know, it just went right, it segued real well. Yeah, sometimes you think it's Dovetail. Right?

But the shows were fucking amazing. I had an awesome time, fucking Naples, Naples, and there was everywhere I went, it seemed like there was a weird Florida tragedy following me and we'll get to some of The stories later on but yeah, literally there was a bear attack in Naples. There was an alligator attack Close to Fort Lauderdale It was it was crazy. Welcome to the synchronicity my friend. I know

Just happened. Yeah, man, it just fucking happens wherever you go somehow things just get get attached somehow, and it's weird how it happens. I've noticed, yeah, we made fun of the old pope the day before he died. Yeah. It's just wild how this shit goes, man. Oh man, oh the pope. I had so much fun watching pope news. Oh.

Yeah, in Hawaii. We had a whole pope morning. New Chicago pope. Chicago style pope. Welcome, yeah, does that mean we put a pickle Pope morning, new Chicago Pope, Chicago style Pope. Well, yeah. Does that mean we put a pickle on them? Chicago style Pope beat another Cardinal actually named pizza Bala. Oh yeah. Talk about some Italian beef. No, I kept singing this. I don't know why I got this song stuck in my head like during

the whole thing. I just kept singing like when you're in Rome and you are choosing a pope, you can always form a conclave. The whole trip me and Carolee just kept going conclave. Oh my God, Chicago pope and he seems to be not racist. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that which is wild. It's wild Yeah, I mean definitely harboring Pedophiles and you know sexual abusers, but it's sure as one person did make a point. He's a pope. He's a pope It's like you're not really gonna find a guy until like I don't know maybe 40 50 years from now Maybe who wasn't involved in that in some way. They would have to stop eventually. Yeah No, when I met like 40 or 50 years like once we're down to like six priests

No one's all that all that often well, I can't wait to discover whatever nightmares this man has committed in his past. I'm sure there's a couple so far. So good new Pope. Yeah. We're all rooting for you so far. So good. And the, and the Pope's brother seems nice. Oh yeah.

They keep it. I don't know anything about him. He's just some dude in Chicago. Like he like lives in the suburbs. Like, yeah, you know know like we was last week We were playing words with friends and you know We want conclave actually It's good. It's pretty good. Oh

He's Maga got it, but I thought no they hated them They they've been fighting the magas been fighting with him a bunch. Well, apparently the brother is MAGA oh well of course he is yeah yeah yeah he's from Chicago and moved to Florida okay yeah yeah yeah the Pope's brother you know I mean what do we expect here yeah we all be judged by the worst member in our family true Yeah True very true very true But I had such a good time in Florida there it was just an amazing time so much good food I went to the beach shout out to Adam Wirtz and Julie Rosing for fucking Shepherding me and being my tour managers and helping me sell merch and shit But I think the most important part of my trip was Key West chickens everywhere by the way

Covered in chickens and breakfast was expensive. You know, you know what? It's like someone's fucking up Yeah, there's like there's chickens everywhere. You just give me the eggs, you know, and I know what it was I saw a bunch of baby chickens. They let them live and the eggs, you know, and I know what it was. I saw a bunch of baby chickens. They let them live. And yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's the main problem. Yeah, and well, it's free range too. So it's hard to know where they're laying the eggs.

Yeah, and you know, they eat trash. But regardless- It's not gonna be great. It's free range trash chicken. It's not like in a really nice, it's not like my mom's chickens that get really good food. But I brought gifts for everybody.

Oh. Yes. And so a little something for you, a little something for Rob, a little something for the studio. But before I show you, I went and full disclosure, I went and met and visited Robert. Robert the doll. Robert the doll. Robert the haunted doll.

Robert the haunted doll. The most haunted doll in the world apparently. Yeah. Yeah. No, I went and visited him. There is definitely something off. Yeah. No question about it. You know, he was a, he was very nice. I talked to him. I apologized for what Henry said about him on the show. And when the mics cut out and stuff like that, I apologize. I brought him some of my merch. I had, I have actually some of my merch was I got biggest baby merch, you know that I sell at the shows

But I actually made like child size shirts for like my relatives and I had extra so I brought like a child's Any Ed Larson biggest baby shirt for Robert? I told him he doesn't have to wear it He doesn't want to but you know, it's his I wrote him a little note from last podcast and I left thanking him for his Contribution to our show and he great, and I asked for permission before we filmed him, and then he, assuming he said yes, and we filmed him, me and him talking for a little bit, and he was very sweet.

I really think that he's been, he really helped me get through those last three shows, because I was so tired at the end of the tour, and the power of Robert, really, because that first show in Key West the Friday it was good but it was like my worst show yeah and because I was beat because after those two shows in Orlando without Henry and then those long ass meet and greets and shit I was the I was working hard I'm one hour asleep you know fucked up and then Saturday morning I woke up I was like we need to go see Robert and

make sure everything's okay and you know cuz I even had a sense that we were in town yeah you can't go to Key West and to go see Robert and make sure everything's okay. And you know, cause I, he might've sensed that we were in town. You can't go to Key West and not go see Robert. Yeah. So I went and saw Robert and also I got us for the studio. I got us a recreation of Robert. But Rob, I, before I take them out, you know, please say something nice to Robert. Cause I showed Robert our Robert and I wanted to make sure that Because I showed Robert, our Robert, and I wanted to make sure that he knew

part of Robert might be with me right now. So just ask him if it's okay that we put him on camera and he lives at the studio and stuff like that. Hey Robert, just wondering if I can put you on camera and if we can talk about you on Side Stories. Totally going to be nice. Just wondering if I can put you on camera and if we can talk about you on Side Stories. Totally gonna be nice. Not gonna say anything rude or inappropriate about you. And don't forget to ask him if we can have him in here.

And can we have you in the studio, please? I think he says yes. All right, so I also, I brought him on stage with me every night. And then like, I kept like asking him if my jokes were funny. No one in the audience really got it, but I had a great time. So here's our own Robert. Yes

He is a star already he Was on stage all weekend. He was he was amazing. He did a great job. He was a good boy I said good night to him I apologize that I made him sleep at the at the comedy club shout out to comedy Key West for letting Robert crash there all weekend and He was really appreciative. I gave him as he got his box here, but yeah, he's gonna He'll join us in the background at the studio Thank you Robert for everything you do. I really appreciate everything buddy. Thank you very much Robert

You've been you've been a very good sport about all of this. So thank you. Now the real Robert the doll I met, first of all, thank you Steve for all the work that you do over there. Make sure you go visit Robert the doll over at the Fort East Martello museum, which is the Ford Zachary. First of all, Robert is like far from the most haunted thing in that museum. Oh yeah. Yeah. It is like it was a civil war, uh, like Fort and a lot of people don't know this, but Key West fought for the union. I had no clue. I never think of Florida as a civil war battleground at all. Yeah. No, I don't think there was much battling there, but they had a fort in case something happened.

Sure. But they got hit also later on after the Civil War, they got hit really hard with the Spanish flu. And lots of bodies were, that's where they put all the bodies. I'd heard that. And they were like stacked up in like, in yellow fever. That's what it was.

And they were stacked up from ceiling. And then you're walking through all these like, and it's empty now. They didn't put nothing where the it was. And it was, they were stacked up from ceiling and then you're walking through all these like, and it's empty now. They didn't put nothing where the bodies were. And it's cold. It was a hundred degrees outside. It was cold in there. It was fucking scary.

And then this other, and then so Steve, who works the front gate, he was like, he loved that, you know, I was into this shit. Because usually it's just people walking around that are drunk and shit. And he was so funny. You won't go Well, it's for some people know about me When I'm drinking day drink, especially I love

museums That's just because you get knowledge and it's power and we just gotta go. Get us in there. Let me see this off. Let me see Robert. I'm gonna cuck on my custom. So many people have wrote letters and they show all the letters and stuff like that. I wrote on the chalkboard for us and stuff and I gave a letter.

So I think they're gonna present our letter to Robert which is good But there's lots of interesting things. I learned about Robert. I remember I forgot that Inside Robert is the soul of a little girl not a little boy. Yeah Yeah, which which I forgot till I got there and I was like, okay good to know Recently ever hear a fantasy fest? No, so in Key West There's like this thing every year called Fantasy Fest And it's like when a bunch of fucking big fat Floridians get together and fuck each other in front of everybody and it's nudists

It's all much of nudists everyone's walking around with big big old saggy painted titties and shit It's that kind of Fantasy Fest. I had an entirely different thing put in my mind I thought it was gonna be like fantasy novels a bunch of people dressed up as Gandalf No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's fucking and You know why real quick and quiet like I was we were asking our tour guys like hey look what do you know? What's a cool thing to do around you? Just like there's a couple of new beaches There's one of them it's called secrets you can go to that one like that that's a new beach There's one of them it's called secrets you can go to that one like that that's a new beach There's another one though

Yes, just so you know people are gonna be fucking like out in the open. I was talking about the bar. Yeah Was a new bar you should go to In a key West there is one called the Garden of Eden don't go there the people are the same people go to fantasy Fest, but so last year they had, Robert was commissioned to lead Fantasy Fest and everyone was so worried because they wanted to be able to take pictures and shit and they were really worried that if Robert was leading Fantasy Fest that they wouldn't be allowed

to take pictures. So what they did was they made an exact replica of Robert and then they took the replica to Robert and then said Robert Would you please if you want to come to the parade feel free to enter this stall? I will bring the stall to the parade and then when the parade is over I will bring it back and you will and then you can enter back into Robert and they claimed that they did that Fantasy Fest went off without a hitch. It was a great time. No one died.

No one got run over by a parade float and yeah, yeah. David Sloan, great guy. And then he was the grand marshal with Robert and what happened? And then he came back and then he said when he put Robert back into the doll or the little girl back into Robert that he heard a little giggle. Aw. And I guess that signifies that Robert had a good time. That's funny, this is the first time I saw this ad up here for the whole thing for Fantasy Fest.

It's the first time a haunted doll's ever been sponsored by Bud Light. Yeah. Yeah. Florida, baby. Oh, what a great time. Bud Light presents Yeah, so Robert was great he was a grand marshal of Fantasy Fest But that place like the dude Steve he was showing me all these videos like legitimate videos of orbs that he gets when he's closing

Down at night stuff cool But then there's also videos where like the lights are flickering and then he'll be like and then you hear him go if you're here Flicker the lights like the lights are already flickering. Yeah, it's like so it's like, you know, it's you know, take what you will Of course, he also had this app on his phone called ghost box or something like that Okay, where you can like talk to the ghosts and they can respond to you through an app on your phone It's I don't know how true it was, but it was always it was interesting. Yeah, I've heard of ghost box. Yeah Yeah, ghost box maybe not box. But yeah, no way it was but it was always it was interesting. Yeah, I haven't heard of ghost Vox. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah ghost Vox Maybe not box, but yeah, no way it was a yeah I don't I never heard of it before but he had it and he loved using it and you know

shout out to Steve and all the work you do down there at uh at the the Fort East Martello Museum and Keeping Robert safe and I was so happy to meet him and I Julie I introduced him to Julie She didn't like Robert as much as I did but she understood where my love is but she said it is getting a little obsessive just your love for Robert the doll in particular yes okay not just in general paranormal it's just like you're really focusing in on this one haunted doll I like Robert Robert's my guy no I've we formed a bond and you know that's it yeah I get Robert. Robert's my guy. No, I've, we formed a bond and you know, that's it. You know, I get it. And he's here. I'm sad that there won't be

at home, but I got a key chain, but I got, I got you something. I got Rob something. Now Rob, I got you this. This is a sticker that says protected by Robert. And because he showed off our equipment that one time. So I want to make sure that you have your, you know, that you're protected by Robert. It's nice. And then I got you this, Marcus. Robert did it. Oh, that's awesome!

A magnet for your fridge, you know? Thank you! And then also, I got you this. I also went to the Ernest Hemingway House and Museum, which is down there. And I got you a pen. Oh! Because you're such a great writer.

Oh, thank you! And I figured that would be nice. And it's lots of cats! It's very sweet, thank you. Oh, you're such a great writer. Thank you. I figured that would be nice and it's lots of cats It's very sweet. Thank you. Yeah, they were everywhere Hemingway's house was a lot of fun too. It was interesting Yeah, oh, yeah, anyway. Yeah, I know it's so funny because Hemingway's got this big He's like everywhere, but the Tennessee Williams also lived down there, and he's just got like a little shack. No one gives a fuck Come on give Tennessee some give them a little bit of love. Well, yeah, Key West was amazing. Go, if you get a chance, go down to Comedy Key West, the great comedy club there,

run by Tom Dustin, who's got a new movie out, and he was fucking awesome and very, very, a lot of fun. Truly Boston. Joe List made a movie about this man. I had no idea until they got there. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it just came out. Joe left me a movie about this man. I had no idea until I got there. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it just came out. Joe left me. I'm Joan forever. I know. I miss Joe so much. But Florida, I love you. Invasive species in the bag. So was my Florida hour. Now I have to write new jokes, which really is a bummer.

Um, but this week I got a very special thing happening tomorrow. Um, I just want to keep people updated as far as like updates go or a pup date I'm getting Harley tomorrow. Oh the tumor dog my tumor dog. Is it okay for me to call him the tumor dog? Well, the tumors gone. Okay, so they removed it former tumor dog Yeah, the in the the rescue of the rescue made this like they showed like this graphic rescue of the rescue made this like they showed like this graphic fucking video of the tumor getting removed, like full surgery channel, like crazy. Like in the tumor is like, I'll show you the video. You're going to love it. Oh yeah. No, I love it. The tumor is literally bigger than Tootsie. Wow. It's 19 and a half pounds. Oh my, man. That's, that is about,

that's only six pounds off from being as heavy as Georgie. Yeah. And so now like, so this, so now Harley is like an ox now she's fucking killing it. We get her tomorrow, her staples come out and then she comes over to the house and I'm ready to accept this new dog into my life. She's a, she, you know, she's definitely a little bit of a hunchback and she, it might grow back, you know, so, you know, she's definitely a little bit of a hunchback and she it might grow back, you know So, you know just to you know, let her know our house is Sanctuary. Yeah, and and you know, we're putting in a bell and everything's gonna be nice. No, it's great No, you know, we just say our our dog Frankie like, you know, Frankie came in with some medical problems

You know, she still had a cast on her leg and all that from the horrible things you went through before we got her. But it's great to have a dog that, you know, that's had a little bit of, you know, seen some shit, had some stuff happen to him, you know, like make some, I think it makes him sweeter. No, Harley's lived outdoors her whole life. I can't wait to give her a bed inside at the foot of mine. It's going to be great. And she'll get to end her life in my house, which is now doggy ho spice so that is a They'll have a great. She'll have a great end of her life with me and maybe You know Robert will bless her But speaking of which I can't move on from this just yet. I have one more question. Oh, I mean all you got are you gonna

eventually have your own pet cemetery If you're gonna be the dog hospice, I mean, you're the one that's gonna, you know, you're the one that's got these dogs at the end. Am I going to have to eat my words on Chad Vallow's pet cemetery? Cause the way things are going in two years, I'm going to have three dead dogs back there. I mean, I have Rambo's ashes I haven't I don't know if I'm gonna bury it or not sure you know and so I don't know what's gonna What if I'm gonna bury Rambo or not, but I do have his ashes You know I think maybe I could I could mix them with you know something and you know maybe he'll like that

Maybe I've maybe put it at a skate park so we can haunt the skate park or something You know, maybe he'll like that. Maybe I've maybe put it at a skate park so we can haunt the skate park or something. As he hated skateboarders so much. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, no, that is a good question. Yeah, I think we could do a little pet sanitary back there. We can think about it. I got room.

I'll co-invest. Oh, yeah. I've always wanted to own a cemetery. It seems like there's a lot of like problems with that. Yeah. A pet cemetery. Less regulations. We have to spell it wrong on purpose. Yeah, we have to. Yeah.

Yeah. You're going to have one. I, and someone did Mr. Pastrani, my buddy did buy me a Rambo like grave rock. So I've already got the stone and then, you know, but when I move, cause I do rent, I don't own. So when I do move, I will move the stone and not the body That is true. Yeah, which is fine, which is fine. We'll let Rambo haunt that backyard But if you want your own adopted dog come to last puppy benefit on the left It's gonna be Friday May 23rd 7 p.m. To 10 p.m. Over at the Masonic Temple in Hollywood forever Cemetery we are doing this with

With pups without borders. No dogs in space is gonna perform We got some other members of the last podcast now we're gonna perform come hang out the first hour We're hanging with puppies. Yeah, and then we're gonna fucking chill. We're gonna have some drinks. We're gonna get hang out puppies We're gonna have some drinks and then we're gonna tell a bunch of murder stories Yeah, and like what's a better time than that? It's gonna be a fantastic time. I this is the this pups without borders That's where we got our little Frankie. Yeah, which is how we got hooked up with them. They're an incredible organization They really care about what they do and this is like a this is a charity show Yeah, but it's gonna be a show and a hangout all at the same time And there's gonna be a show and a hangout all at the same time And there's gonna be puppies there so it's and I've been to one of their

I've been to one of their events before and it was a great time So yeah, come on out come hang out with us coming out the puppies come get those like silent awesome Like silent auction items that we got coming up that we're gonna announce, but it's a cool shit That's the last time I was there. I want a silent auction They had a painting that looked like John Wayne Gacy and a bunch of dogs in the circus. Oh, yeah You know that one that's hanging in my in my living room. Oh, that's so nice. Yeah. Yeah, I got that at the silent auction We're gonna we're gonna have a silent auction here. You can be able to win a dinner with Ron Perlman. Yeah Yeah, which is wild and then we're gonna put it we're gonna donate some stuff we don't know we're donating yet, but we're gonna donate some stuff for the silent auction as well, and it's gonna be a fucking blast

I really can't wait to do this I love the Masonic Temple shout out to them over we did a side stories there for the Netflix is the joke festival And it was fucking hot. Yeah, it was wild So that's it's a great place to see a show great place to hang out. You can go visit Toto's grave Yeah, you know lots of dog stuff call at once You can also go visit Jane Mansfield's grave who died in a car accident with her four chihuahuas there you go Yeah, the chihuahuas are not buried with her. You know who else is buried there brand new hot hot in the ground David Lynch That's right. Yeah, so we can go see his fucking ass

It's got there's so many cool be like Dee Dee Ramones buried there Johnny Ramones got a he has a grave there But not he's not buried there really. Yeah, that's just a memorial. Oh, I didn't know that yeah No, no, no his body's not there Dee Dee's there though No, no, no his body's not there Dee Dee's there though. Oh my picture then Milan Nermy's there the original vampira nice. She's there Mel blank voice a Bugs Bunny Judy Garland Judy Garland Ema sumac one of my favorite singers of all time. Oh you Know I have all we got a night ahead of us. Oh, we got a night ahead of us. We're a you assume back Oh, she's this incredible singer that has like an eight octave range they Build her she's from the 50s

Yeah, they built her as like a lost Mayan princess because all of her music is very like South American But it's good. It's very exotica cool turns out Queens. Whoa I mean Queens most uh, you know, it was at the How they represent Queens is the the most culturally diverse neighborhood in the world Yeah, but she's definitely not a Mayan princess. What are you gonna do? I mean, it's the 50s. It's good press. Yeah, it's great press Yeah, I mean I love that octave range. I'm getting real in a mini reperton lately. Oh, yeah, and so yeah feed me to it I'll also another dog

Kind of adjacent in Hollywood forever Humphrey Bogartart. Hump Free as in hump the leg. You know, but, and that's free. And so. So. Ha ha ha. You can pay for it. Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Well, this is side stories. We have to get the stories eventually. But it's been wonderful catching up with you, Marcus. It's been great catching up with you as well. I'm glad you had a great trip, and I as well. I'm very happy that the Florida tour went off great. Ah man, I can't wait to do more shows, but it's gonna be a lot of fun.

We got an update. Yeah. One update for all of you lizards, they found another victim of Herb Baumeister. Yeah, they have identified the 10th victim found on the farm, the 10th out of, I think they assume about 25. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're, I mean, it takes forever with all those little fragments. Yeah.

The man, Daniel Thomas Halloran of Indianapolis was identified through genealogy match. He's the second victim to be identified since Hamilton County Coroner Jeff Jellison reopened the investigation into the disappearance of dozens of men from the early to mid 1990s and the 10th known victim overall. But yeah, so it could be up to 25. It could be. They think it's up to 25 people that he killed. Yeah, quite possibly. I mean, you never really know. It's just how many bone fragments they found. And they can also kind of cross-re reference that with like the amount of like Disappearances, you know people that reported missing around the time that he's known to have murdered men Yeah, but yeah, it's they think around 25 and it's not like you can just find

DNA to someone who went missing in the 1990s right to like cross-examine right? No, I think from my understanding of this case. They have like an old hat or something you might get lucky. Yeah, what's familial DNA? Yes, oh is mostly what they have so the other problem with that is that you do have to have a family To come forward and give DNA like a family like you know someone who's been like the for example like this guy You know was reported missing went missing in August of 1993, but he was he was reported late They don't even know what day he actually went missing Yeah, because like he just didn't come home and he had a two-year-old daughter and I guess the wife was just like oh You know, I guess he ran off. Yeah, you know, and so I'm sure that's probably happened a bunch of times

Yes, it happens so often. Yeah, we're it happens with kids It happens a husband's happens wives especially in the 70s 80s and 90s like yeah They just ran off because it's not like today where you know we're all kind of tracked and you know We know where everyone is and it feels like that you owe it to everybody to let them know that you're actually alive But back then yeah guy could just disappear And never be seen again, but now they've they've gone through and I think they did some familial samples and identified the guy as Daniel Thomas Halloran. Yes. And it said when Jellison learned of Halloran's mother had died of a drug overdose

two years ago, he checked with Marion County Coroner's office to see if they handled the case. They had, and they had kept a DNA swab in their files that swab confirmed Texas labs finding that Jellison subsequently found a living relative a daughter Who was to when her father went missing? Well, so crazy yeah and to get that closure now like 30 something years later. It's fucking nuts It is and you know it also does it begs the question of like, would you rather know that your father

had been murdered by a serial killer, quite brutally, or that he just ran off and he's kind of a fuck up? I think I'd rather know that he, I think knowing that he was murdered is oddly more comforting. Yeah, it's more comforting. Yeah. It's more comforting

for you. Yes. But for the dad, no way worse, way worse. Go bowling forever. He could have lived like a, you know, a happy life and no, it was a, just a terrible end. Yeah. Cause her bowmeister was not known for, for quick murders. Yeah. This guy, I mean, he looks very much like Theo Vaughn. He does. And I I'm sure her loved them. Unfortunately. Yeah. This guy, I mean, he looks very much like Theo Vaughn. He does. And I I'm sure her loved them. Unfortunately. Yeah. He gave the guy that he's got a Kenny powers look about him. Yeah, for sure. He's got a mullet and a tiny mustache. Is that a mullet or is he just standing in front of a Christmas tree? One of the other, either way, he, he, he, he fits in. That's for sure. He does. he does. Oh, well, I'm glad I'm glad that that was figured out

and I hope they find some more if you Have a dad who went missing in the Indianapolis area in the 90s Maybe you should hit up jealous and find out if maybe it happened figure it out They got lots of bones. They don't know what the fuck to do one with I mean, they've only got to get 10 identified out of like about 25. But you know, I mean, there are some of these, you know, there's still a few of John Wayne Gacy's victims. We still don't know who they are.

Yeah. They have a fair amount. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. And definitely a few of Dean Kroll's victims. We don't know, you know, out of his 27. Yeah.

There's a yeah, there's most of the time, like when you find those mass graves, there's going to be quite a few guys Yeah, you just never it will at least killed back then and Gacy traveled, you know, he could have dumped bodies You know, it's not like he's gonna bring someone back from California to bury him in, you know, Illinois No, you know, and so and so you never know what happened with these fucking guys 33 is just what we know about. Wow. Fly from your grave. But speaking of bodies, I got this thing.

I love this story because I love a mummy story and I love an embalming story. Okay. Because I find embalming and like funeral practices like absolutely fascinating. I almost like that was my, I had like kind of a crossroads where it's either like go like stay in radio and Broadcasting or go into embalming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah going to funeral services and you know, I chose this Yeah, I think is the right choice. It was the correct choice. But you know, I like you know, I for me it was butcher I wish I would have learned to be a butcher, but you you know I wasn't and now I can just be a hobby So if anyone dies and wants to donate their body to Marcus, he'll fucking play with it

Stick a tube in your ass Mummify your fucking tushy. I'll suck out all your bullshit and fucking put it in a bucket throw up my backyard So what's the deal with this mummy? The mystery of a mummy from an Austrian village has been solved according to researchers who say it was embalmed in an unexpected way via the rectum. Ooh Never heard of rectal embalming before they say this is the first known case of rectal embalming Okay. Now I know that they like put like formaldehyde through you and stuff like that for Embalming. What is the embalming process?

I don't even really know. Well, this is 1746. So this is long before modern embalming. Modern embalming didn't come about until the Civil War, the American Civil War, because there were so many people that were dying so far away from home. The families wanted the bodies transported back so they could be buried wherever it was that they were from And so the the idea of modern embalming which is taking out

A lot of the guts taking out like replacing the blood with like preserving fluids like yeah preservatives and all that like you kind of Switching out the blood for one you're switching out one thing for another Do you take out like the kidneys and shit or you leave them in there? You know what? I actually can't remember I can't remember if you take out like all like all of the guts side stories lpotl at gmail.com Yeah, yeah, I can't remember if you take out the guts. Okay. No mummies don't have guts Oh, no, no, no mummies and no mummies and see that's the we're just talking about normal and balmy Yeah, yeah, the difference between normal and balmy and like mummies are definitely like all the guts are gone

Okay, and this guy all of the guts were gone. But the thing is, but the reason why it was a mystery was because when they found this body, they think that the body is the preserved corpse of an aristocratic vicar named Franz Saver Siddler von Rosenegg. Cool. Yeah. Or Rosenegg. Yeah.

Franz Xavier Siddler von Rosenegg. Yeah. Yeah, or Rosenegg. Yeah, Franz Xavier Sedler von Rosenegg. Yeah, they were redoing his tomb. Like they had to do some reconstruction on it. And they found the body and they're like, ah, fuck it, let's see what's inside. And so they did some CT scans of it and found that it was hollow inside. So like, oh, he's been,

and also he'd obviously been mummified. You look at the body, he's like, oh, this body's definitely been mummified, but through the butt That's the thing they didn't see any kind of holes or like entry points where they may have You know gotten where they may have like pulled out any of the organs or anything like that So they sucked out his organs through his ass They didn't know because sucked out. They didn't have vacuums back then. They didn't. No, no, no.

Because I actually, for a while, when I first read the story, I saw mummy and rectum and mystery and air dry and the way all of the words were put together, I also saw via vacuum. Yeah. Via rectum, via vacuum. That's what I would think. Yeah. No, but you can actually even see in this picture here You can see there's actually a little bit of a there's a little tuft coming out of his butthole

Yeah There is a little something in there like that was something the cork or something that had to have been because they would have had to Stretch it out pretty good Yeah in order to Pull out all of the organs via the butthole and not just pull out all of the organs via the butthole But putting in wood chips fragmented twigs

Hemp and silk fabrics and so it taxidermy them. Yeah and zinc chloride crazy Yeah, they taxidermy them and they probably did the I'm sure they brain and all that They did the old Egyptian way putting the hook in through the nose and pulling that out Oh, so they took the brain out too? Yeah. Fucking nuts! Yeah, Max, all that shit stinks. Man, so how do you think they did it? Do you think they did the whole, like, stuck a little thing in there and like swished it,

like stuck a sword up there and like swished it around, chopped it up good and then got that out? Or they either just pulled the intestines like a rope? They might've just got a hook. I would imagine it's all hooks. Yeah. If they did the hooks the same way that they did the brain, I would imagine it's all hooks Yeah, if they did the hooks the same way that they did that you know the brain

I would imagine it's yes sticking a hook up in there, but they may have I don't know blended it Then yeah him like it's not like siphoning gas Rob Let it go turn him into a big joint I gotta say, great teeth. For a 17th century man, holding up to this day, great teeth. Incredible teeth. Well, he was a vicar. He lived a life of luxury, basically.

In comparison to other 17th century people, he definitely lived a cushy life. They even found him, he was wearing his pointed shoes. He had his tobacco pipe. And they just found that his body was in incredible shape overall. But yeah, he did live a much better life than most people did back then.

Rob, can you zoom in on the penis for me? Sure. I'm just curious. The penis area? There's not really anything left. Do you think it fell? Oh no, it's there. Well, it is there.

It is there. Wow. Okay. It looks sorta cocooned. I mean, of course it's deflated, you know, it all got emptied, but yeah, it's still there. Yeah.

All right. Uncircumcised. Good to know, I should hope so. Yeah. Yeah, oh, all right sticks it around Sticking a rug just put them up put them up in there. I got something oddly I was gonna have you go twice in a row, but I this one of my stories kind of goes into what we've already been talking around

Pittsburgh funeral homeowner allegedly dumped pets in a landfill After charging for the cremation. This is terrible. What a fucking asshole. I mean, like, come on, just do your job. It's gotta be easier. It's gotta be easier than driving all the way out to the landfill? And dumping a bunch of dogs out the fucking...

So this guy, alright, so this comes from, whatchamacallit, from a WTAE, which is a Pittsburgh affiliate action news. A Pittsburgh funeral home owner is accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from people who paid for pet burial and cremation services. According to Pennsylvania Attorney General, thousands of dogs and cats were improperly disposed of after the owners paid for the cremation burials and other services.

This guy collected over $650,000 between 2021 and 2024 from people. And then he just took the dogs and the cats and he threw them in the trash, um, instead of giving people what they deserved, which is some comfort. So it's crazy that this man did this, but he finally got caught. You just can't throw dogs in the trash. No, you can't. You can't throw dogs.

You can't throw cats. You can't throw birds. You can't just throw an animal in the trash. More than 6,500 victims have already been identified. So this, I mean, don't go to the dump in Pittsburgh. I mean, we all know that Pittsburgh, well, we all know that the fucking dumps are lands of wonder and whimsy and joy. And you can find many wonderful things at the dump. I did. Did you ever, did your dad ever take you to the dump when you were a kid? I did.

I went to the dump once. My dad, I don't know why the fuck my dad brought me to the dump. I went to Mount Pompano We call it the only hill in all of Broward County is a giant fucking dump And I tell you what those seagulls are the size of Buick's up there. Okay, that's different You got to deal with seagulls in Florida. So that's you got wildlife at the dump My dad used to take me to the dump all the time when I was a kid was fucking fantastic You go to shoot the rats. No, we just went to look and dump Dump our stuff because you know we lived in you know I lived in rural, Texas

Yeah, really have we didn't get like a dumpster until I was in like high school So you had to take your trash somewhere? Yeah, and there was no of course like no local pickup So yeah We had to take trips regular trips to the dump to get rid of our trash like man once every couple weeks Why the fuck was I at the dump? Like we were at the top and like we weren't like dumping something. We were like talking to somebody Yeah, and my dad was like how to deal with someone at the dump guy at the dump

There was like something I don't know what it was like He had like business at the dump and I had to go with him fucking you're gonna try it You're gonna go to sleep tonight and you're gonna be thinking about Fucking memories gonna unlock they had forgotten about is like all I do but yeah, the core memory is Just blown away by the size of the seagulls Just like I remember just be like those are big fucking my dad was laughing his ass off Yeah, yeah, no, I mean a month

I don't think my dad was I mean my dad was involved with like some minor thievery, but nothing Crazy illegal. It's not like he was like a murderer or anything like that No, so it's a wonder why the fuck I was at that dump This case was disturbing and will cause devastation and heartache to many Pennsylvania's attorney general Dave Sunday said our pets are members of our families and this defendant betrayed and agonized pet owners who entrusted him to provide dignified services for the beloved cats and dogs. I know as someone who just got their dog's ashes. I don't know how much I would care if it was not his actual ashes. Yeah, I deaf not lawsuit care

Yeah, not definitely not lost. I'd be pissed. I'd want to like punch the guy angry phone call care. Yeah But I don't know like I understand but like why do we even get it? Why do we get him back? I guess it's just we romanticize it a lot. Yeah. Yeah, I you know when when my dogs die I think you know what? I don't know if I'd want my ash the ashes of the Dog now that in the moment you're like yeah giving to me you know but like now I'm like what the fuck am I gonna do with these things yeah, I'd actually read I think yeah, I it never even honestly it never even occurred to me that I would get the dog's ashes back

Yeah, like it's just you got I thought you just called a guy That's what they should do because I haven't had it I haven't had a pet die since I lived in Texas, and you just bury them. Yes. Yeah, when I was in high school. Different times. Yeah, you just bury the dog out back.

But now we live in a city, and I can't just bury the dog. No. No, you can't just bury the dog. Because one time I buried a dog, and I didn't bury it deep enough. Yes. Yeah. And the animals come.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the thing is the animals didn't come, but I buried them right outside my window. Oh, no. And I didn't bury him deep enough. And so over, and it was the middle of summer. It was Texas summer. Oh, my god.

So it was like 100 degrees outside. And so just the smell started getting worse and worse and worse and worse. Sometimes they come back. Yeah, so well, I had to go dig up the dog. Me and my friend Gary. Like, yeah, my friend Gary Strickland. Man, shout out to Gary. Gary was a fucking good friend

Gary was a good Gary was a fucking solid solid friend Gary helped me out that day I was like dude, I gotta dig up my dog come help me. He's like, all right fine Yeah, these get Gary's ride or die Wow, but yeah, we had to dig up the dog and instead of digging a new grave for him because I couldn't really like it was just We just kind of put him out in a Pasture a little further out a little further out my stardom. Yeah, we bow actually we did bow my stir. Yeah

Totally bow my stood him like it was a nice it was a really nice It wasn't like a field like it wasn't a like a farm field like where they're gonna You know be plowing it up or anything like that like it was a field. I mean yes, he definitely Look, we call it a sky burial. Okay, where you know, they're through him out of a plane and hope for the best Well sky burials are where you know people get eaten by birds Okay, yeah, they get yeah, they get eaten by vultures. That's the best way to do it. Yeah, you go back to nature I wish that's how they did with us. Yeah, I feel better about that than just burying or burning me At least I'm giving back. Yeah, because the vultures they take the bones everything. Yeah, of course they do

So yeah, it was probably vultures and coyotes that finished him off. What is this picture Rob? That's it's a sky bird. It's a sky. Yeah, that's a human. That's a human. We know that you get it's blurred, but that's a human. That's definitely human Yeah, that's not a dog. That's worse. Yeah, I can see fingers But yeah, it's a But it's a Tibetan thing. It's really big in Tibet sky burials I bet it is. Yeah Oh Man what else is going on in the news?

Oh, the other thing that I got is this This is a This is a This is a it is. Yeah. Oh man, what else is going on in the news? Oh, the other thing that I got is this incredible story out of Australia. This is a, I mean, this is one of those stories that's, you know, I love the show Fatal Vows and this is like the most fatal vows story there is yes. Yeah, I mean Marriage is bliss, but divorce is murder An Air Force pilot in the RAAF is accused of murdering his wife and staging her death to make it look like a

right-on-mower accident whoa Yes, oh my god. Yes. Yes. He is secured a major court win after a judge ruled he could be released on bail to take care of his ailing mother. He would be prohibited. And this is the amazing thing about it. He is a pilot. So as a part, one of the conditions of his bail is that he is prohibited

from coming within 500 meters of an international airport terminal Yeah, cuz he could just fucking fly away. Yeah, and he can't enter any airfield good Yeah, but wow how annoying is his mother that they're releasing him to take care of? Nobody I'm gonna fucking, God, let him go. Let him go, get him outta here. I said get him outta here. So he fucking, so he killed his wife and then he ran her over with a lawn mower?

Robert John Crawford is charged with the murder of his wife, Frances Crawford, in southeast Queensland on July 30th, 2024. Emergency services found the body of Ms. Crawford, 49, at the base of the property's retaining wall around 3. 40 a.m Near a riding mower apparently in Australia. They called a ride-on mower police alleged mr. Crawford and our AAF pilot flew into a murderous rage and

Fatally strangled his wife before attempting to disguise the crime by placing her body Under the mower to make it look like she died in a freak accident. Oh my God. I mean, he's a ride on mower. Right. Yeah. The rider. Yeah. It's a ride mower. So it would be his fault anyway. Well, in, I don't know, riding mowers, you could get, you could kill yourself. Do they go on their own? They can go on their own, but on the other hand, no, because they do have, you know, when you stand up, you got to hit the lever, right? Well, when you stand up from a ride mower, like the, it automatically turns off. Yeah, so either way, he killed...

It's flawed. Yeah, you can't... I mean, obviously it's flawed. He went to prison. Well, his trial is coming up. Oh, okay. Like, he hasn't even gone to trial yet. This is just, this is his bail hearing.

Oh, okay. So it could be an accident then. we have to say that well remember. Yeah Well, he's also charged with misconduct with a corpse with police alleging in court documents that mr Crawford moved his wife's body without lawful jurisdiction or excuse Mr. Cook told the court that mr. Crawford. Mr. Cook would be I think the DA Excuse mr. Cook told the court that mr. Crawford. Mr. Cook would be I think the DA Allegedly sent messages to himself on his wife's phone after the alleged murder to make it seem like she had gone outside to move The mower before the quote-unquote accident. Yes, the exchange detailed to the court included mr Crawford reportedly texting quote. Are you gonna put the mower away soon?

Miss Crawford allegedly replies. Just give me a sec And so he's trying to set up the idea that she's going to make a bitch Oh My god, I did not know how much it would hurt to be ran over by a ride-on mower and oh my god I am dead now What the coroner went in and said like okay? This woman was definitely strangled to death like she was it like they said that she might have died From being run over by the mower, but it was the you know manual strangulation Tell after running over her with a mower. That's a thing

We don't know how bad the damage actually was because I mean it's not dead alive Yeah, he's not you know she's not kicking ass for the Lord and like yeah Like it's and it's not you know the sort of like push mower where you got these big blades So she was probably like mutilated, but I don't know like did he run over her head do you run over her legs? Where did he run over? The body not well enough definitely not well enough you always run over the part that you destroyed Yeah, that's the only for you know, but that's the thing you only get one shot You can't run her over multiple times. No they're gonna know So if you run it over if you run her over one time, that's the only shot you got Wow

Yeah, well, I mean really it's just a mutilation yes, you're right killer normal Yeah, you did killer normal, but yeah, it is a it's a hell of an alibi, especially at three in the morning You think no one mows their fucking lawn at three in the morning? Well, the idea was that she was putting it away. She was putting it away. Yeah, and there were also several inconsistencies unwashed dishes Her rings were left on the kitchen counter Indicated she was still in the middle of her nightly routine and the DA argued it made little sense for her to have gone outside near midnight to move a lawnmower But and apparently this guy was a dick anyway

Crawford's children Expect to be witnesses in the case of the they had a bad relationship with their father one witness reportedly described Crawford in his statement as Controlling and intimidating and so now he's gonna become a caretaker I mean one in Hadley had left. Jesus Christ. Well, I hope his mom, you know, is happy that he's there. He's got a very Australian face. He really does. Yeah. Yeah. It's that Australian fate. Like why do Australians have such big heads and such tiny ears? It's true. Think about it. Yeah. That's a very Australian thing. I mean, he is, he is classically attractive. Yeah, he is. Yeah. No, for sure. It's true. Think about it. Yeah. That's a very Australian thing. He is classically

attractive. Yeah, he is. Yeah. No, for sure. He's definitely, he's definitely like a good looking man, but yeah, no, that's true. Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. If you can answer why Australian specifically Australian men have big heads and tiny ears. I guess there's just less to hear out there. Yes, there is. Well, we're coming close on some time, but I wanted to rapid fire, go through some animal stories. There's some interesting stuff happening around. First one is in Ohio, which is this one.

It's just too much fun to not bring up. Oh, and you know, to find fun, but so a police officer in Ohio was shocked to find a raccoon holding a meth pipe after following its owners arrest. This guy, he pulled over this woman and she had a raccoon who was legally her raccoon. She had the paperwork for the raccoon, but she did not have paperwork for all the meth that she had. And then when the cop took her out of the car, the raccoon, but she did not have paperwork for all the meth that she had and then when the cop Took her out of the car the raccoon got a little frisky and grabbed the meth pipe and we got some footage of it. Let's see it Come here hello the raccoon has a her meth pipe He's playing with the meth pipe right now.

No, don't reach for it. That's evidence now. I don't want him to have it. That's why I'm gonna do it. He does seem like a nice raccoon. Okay, you're on our list. He'll be here in two minutes. A few minutes?

Yeah. This is what she's smoking meth in. Okay. The raccoon's playing with her meth pipe. Alright. He's got another one now. Yeah. He's got two meth pipes. Oh, there's no way.

Yeah, and the raccoon found another one and immediately put it to its mouth. There's no way. Alright, alright, enough fun and games. I guess it's safe to assume that this raccoon has done meth before But it seems pretty calm. Yeah, I think he was eating meth. Yeah You don't know if like it's smoked but well, he's probably just they might have blown smoke in its face. Yes I mean who knows what happened? I'm sorry that this woman got addicted to drugs and I mean who knows what happened. I'm sorry that this woman got addicted to drugs and was so loosey-goosey with them that her raccoon was playing with her meth pipe during a traffic stop, but

You know just loosey-goosey, but that she smokes enough meth to drive around with multiple meth pipes Yeah, that one and one was very used and one was just at the brand new as someone who used to drive and smoke weed I only had one pipe with me. yeah, so and that's you know, maybe that's the difference between weed and meth but the Don't want to get like caught flat-footed. Yeah Always be ready on the raccoons name is chewy. Oh Chewy well, I hope they don't euthanize you chewy While our officers are trained to expect the unexpected, finding a raccoon holding a meth pipe is a first. No raccoons were hurt or injured in the incident. Thank God. Always we remain committed to keeping our community safe no matter what surprises

come our way. So thank you to the Cuyahoga falls police department. I guess that's outside of Cleveland. That checks out. Yeah. And, um, um, and, uh, you know, I, you know, Travis Irvine, our own Ohio raccoon that works here. And he doesn't do math. And so that's good. Does not. And as far as I know, never has. Yeah. Never has. Yeah. And, and speaking of Cleveland, we'll see you on November 29th. We're going to be at the Masonic temple. Can't wait to come play a show for you. The full last podcast on the left show Cleveland, Ohio, Masonic temple, Saturday, November 29th, go to the last podcast on the left.com for tickets

to that show and many more. Yeah, that's the Saturday directly after Thanksgiving. So that's going to be a lot of fun. I'm actually going to be going to visit my family in Cincinnati and then drive on over, go to rock and roll hall of fame and then do a show for you. Fucking wild cheeseburger loving fucks. So while I was in Florida, real quick, I just want to say like there was crazy animal deaths. The first black bear kill in Florida happened in Naples when I was in Naples. This is nuts. Yeah. No, a black bear killed a man and his dog. It is, there has been multiple bear attacks in Florida before, but this is the first bear officially killing somebody in Florida and eating them in any, in a black bear. It's usually not a black bears are supposedly the

most chill over the bears. Yeah. And don't you just have to shout at a black bear? And he's supposed to go away. I was walking my friend's dog and I was like, there's a bell. What's the bell for? And like, Oh, when you see black bear? Yeah, you ring a bell Yeah, I was walking my friend's dog and I was like there's a bell What's the bell for like oh when you see a bear you you ring the bell? I was like well you walk your dog Yeah, but the black it was weighing close to 300 pounds. That's not even on that You know, and so it's not even that big of a bear, but it did fucking kill this old man 89 year old man That's the main that's I think that's the he I would have been he was probably you know he was old and what a way to go out at 89 by the way I think about that all the time when an old person dies a really

grisly or gruesome or bizarre death I do think about that is like you make it that and you're like once you pass like 82 you're like okay I'm definitely dying of old age yeah I'm definitely dying like of a disease. Like I'm dying in a bed. Like I've made it. I'm dying in a bed. Yeah. Like nope. 89 bear attack eaten by a bear. You're retired in the same town as Larry bird and Bob Seeger and judge Judy and you fucking get attacked by a bear. And that's how you go out. Fucking crazy. Also there was an alligator kill in Florida. Oh, before I move on, I just wanted to tip you off to this and our listeners at home. This is not been updated to one of my favorite Wikipedia pages. So hopefully this gets updated soon. Anyone who out there

who updates Wikipedia do this for me, but there is a list of fatal bear attacks in North America, Wikipedia page and it goes all the way back to the 17 eighties. It's a delight. Each story is better than the last. I'm just going to pick a random one. We'll say this one was September 20th, 2005, Arthur Louie, a six year old male in Canada near Brown river, British Columbia, a female and two cubs attacked Louis on a remote forestry road. He was walking back from his gold mining camp after his car broke down. There's lots of stories like this and they all got little, they all got little ones and it's always so interesting. They're mostly in Canada. Canada is where people get killed

by bears the most or Alaska. But I'll just pick another one. These are, you know, these are wild. These are good. I believe the, the revenue guys in here somewhere too, if you dive deep enough, but yeah. So we got October 22nd, 1956, Canada, Scott 29 male us near Augusta, Montana while elk hunting a hunter and Scott's group was attacked and the bear was shot and wounded when they went back to kill the bear. Scott's gun jammed and the bear mauled him so they should have left them alone. Yeah. You got away. You went back and the bear killed you. The bear was later killed by another hunter. But yeah, each one of these stories are fucking nuts. Yeah. I was looking back to prohibition times because I was going to see if a moonshiner got eaten by bear. You never know. Yeah. Dr.

Joseph, Jermaine, Olga,or, Chuck Jack, they are now mostly for forest service employees. Actually, it's a lot of forest service employees. Oh yeah. Yeah. Check this one out. 1855 John Grizzly Adams, the man's name, 48 years old, Sierra Nevada, California, professional trapper and trainer of wild animals. He was badly injured while dislodging his scalp and leaving a silver dollar hole in his head. He died in 1860 from complications of his scalp wound. I mean, H story, they're quick little three sentence bangers. Listen to this, two sentence banger. Frank, Frank Welch 61 September 8th, 1916

Welch was killed at a camp near Sylvan pass at Yellowstone national park while carrying a load of hay and oats. Men from the camp killed the bear with a dynamite trap. Damn damn blew up the bear. All right. Eight one more. Yeah. 1850 fielding Isaac's no age fielding was found with his skull crushed in a 1300 pound Grizzlies mouth with his knife broken in the Grizzlies neck and both deceased. Colonel William Smith, AKA rebel bill wrote an autobiography to decal the detail, the incident in his autobiography. So it could be fake. But yeah, it's just each story is more amazing than the next John Deak November, 29th, 1906 thinking the bear was dead. Deak began skinning it. The bear immediately

awoke and tore off one of Deak's arms. Oh, killed him. Whoa. Oh, October 5th, 1908. Oh wow. After a bear escape from a cage at Elysian Grove pleasure park in Tucson, Arizona, a woman named bus Laird ran with her infant child in a go-kart. The bear grabbed and killed the baby. No, not the baby. April 16th, 1956. We got a two for Lloyd Pennington and Everett Kendall USA the copper river, Sentius area of Alaska. Two men were hunting a spotted bear den near snowshoe Lake and attempted to lure the bear out. Assuming it was weak and hungry when it came out and killed them both a rescue team shot and killed the bear. And it was returned when it refused to back away. No, sorry. They killed the bear.

Yeah. Sorry. They killed the bag. Yes. You're always sad about that. You guys, you know, you go to a bear's house and you pick a fight. I don't know what you think's going to happen. My wife always says, Mr. Carolyn always says when I'm playing video games and I'm going in somewhere and I'm fighting somebody, I'm killing a bunch of people and just, did you go into his house? Yeah. Did you, did you go to where he lives and is he now defending his home? Like, well, maybe but he would kill me Anyway, that's the bandits do they don't just wait. I go to the bandits house and I shove a fucking sword into his throat Set him on fire and then I go looking for the other oblivion gates

Oh, man. All right, and finally a Florida one was killed by an alligator during canoeing trip She was in Tiger Creek near Lake Kissimmee in Polk County last Tuesday. She was 61 years old. She was on the canoe with her husband and there, there was an alligator, it was shallow water and they hit the gator, which was 11 feet long and it tipped over the canoe and the gator killed her and the husband unfortunately was not able to save her. even though he tried that shit fucking happens but We did lose a famous alligator big Gator who I really want to I think we should we should shout out to

Morris the six hundred and forty pound alligator Believed to have been more than 80 years old and the source of an impressive list of movie and TV credits most famously old and the source of an impressive list of movie and TV credits most famously He was the alligator from happy Gilmore. You see how good it took Chubbs hand. Yes. I can't believe he lived longer than Carl Weathers Kills him in the movie or not kills him, you know, I've had technically happy kills him by scaring him with the head of the gator Yes, but he but he you know, because I took his eye Yeah, it kills him in the movie and then then then he outlives him Yeah, he he was also in alligator one and alligator to interview with the vampire. Dr Do a little eraser great alligator seen an eraser that is a fantastic alligator see great alligator see yeah

And also blues brothers 2000 don't remember the alligator in blues brothers 2000 I don't remember blues brothers 2000, but I mean I know it exists, but yes the plot escapes me as it should So Morris shout out to you this episode is dedicated to you and Henry's father. May you be reunited and held together the reunited and held together. The, uh, who gets stopped billing? I mean, unfortunately Henry's dad was almost in daylight. That is true. He was almost the Sylvester Stallone tunnel rescue film. Yeah. He was almost in that. They filmed a scene, but they ended up cutting it. So I got top billing goes to Mars. All right. Yeah. All right. Yeah. But, um, Henry's dad also shout out to you. We love you so much. Henry senior, but yeah, you're second place tomorrow. Morris

was on coach. Yeah. So I mean, coach is a great show. Night court, Leno, you know, he, he'd done a lot. He's done lots of good work and we could all hope for a 20 year retirement. We really could you know in Florida Yeah, so or no, this is Colorado. He was in Colorado. I'd rather I would rather retire in Colorado than Florida. No Yeah, I mean it's not I mean it's it's a better place as far as like, you know humanity goes But as far as like fun and having a great time, I mean nothing's better than Florida I just realized that I miss my home so much and I had a great time. I mean nothing's better than Florida. I just realized that. I miss my home so much and I had a great time there. No matter how horrible it may be, you're my horrible and I'll be with you forever Florida.

And one last quote from the story covering the gator that died in Colorado. He died in a gator reserve that you know these guys put together to because they had a fish farm and didn't know what to do with all their like and a gator reserve that these guys put together because they had a fish farm and didn't know what to do with all their leftover fish heads. So they started rescuing gators and they built a little park around it. And they said in an update on Monday,

they announced, we have decided to get Morris taxidermied so that he can continue to scare children for years to come. It's what he would have wanted. Yes, absolutely. Taxidermy. Everybody. I'm like, that is a very taxidermy heavy episode. Lots of animals. We love you guys. Oh, we have one listener mail. I'll get to it real fast. I'll read it real fast. But this is a, it was very nice. I'm scared. Stupid. Listening to the last side stories episode about alien movies. Henry mentioned in inadvertent scary movies that left lasting impression from our

Childhood mine unabashedly is earnest scared stupid. Yeah, hear me. I it scared the fuck out of me too By the way, I loved earnest scared stupid is the best one is so easily Yeah, I loved it so much because I loved earnest and I loved horror movies Yeah I it was the first movie that I ever watched and then immediately rewound and watch the second time. Those trolls were fucking nasty. Yeah, they were very scary.

All the snot and Ernest was very funny. Oh yeah. Hear me out while visiting some cousins in South Jersey. I was invited to watch this movie as the only kid in the house and undoubtedly getting on everyone's nerves. I was sat down in front of an old TV to watch this movie. Short of recapping the whole plot, I was scared stupid. To put it plainly, this movie was that made me afraid of the dark.

To my knowledge, I previously was not. After watching trolls hatch out of tree eggs and dissolve after being squirted with super soakers filled with milk my authentic Romanian meack My ride through the Pine Barrens back home was terrifying the Pine Barrens are a scary place lots of bodies there Oh, yeah, I'm the Jersey Devil. Oh, yeah, this movie was the reason I don't hang my leg out of my bed out of the sheets anymore The hole they can't get you if you're fully covered. I've I mean yeah, yeah, absolutely Oh, yeah, I've let um I've let go of most of the fear But goddamn I was horrified this movie did scare the shit out of me me too But it scared me in the best way possible and all the kids getting you know

I think didn't they get their souls encased in trees. Yes. Yeah, no it was wild Yeah, it was good. Yeah, so this one's number one earnest camps got to be second Yeah, and then I guess earnest goes to jail is pretty fucking awesome that fight scene at the end jail well the The court scene with the pen in his mouth is one of the funniest Scenes in movie history yeah, yeah, but just keeps getting more and more ink all over the place, and he's earnest yeah He's on trial for murder. Yeah, do I like him more than Hemingway? Ernest yeah he's on trial for murder yeah do I like him more than Hemingway how does the Sun also rise stack up to save Christmas Ernest anyway ever save Christmas no he never went to Africa did he join the army I think Ernest

Hemingway went to Africa hmm possibly I think he possibly went to Africa did he go he seems like a reporter. He seems like a safari guy Yeah, I think he I think there's a good chance Hemingway went to Africa, but but regardless You know, he definitely went to Paris, which I know was nothing like Africa. Oh, yeah big I was right safari guy Yeah, they like it. He loved adventures multiple. Yeah snows at Kilimanjaro Greenhouse of Africa. Yeah, yeah Kilimanjaro. That's the that's the big one. I'm not a big I'm honestly like Hemingway. I prefer Tennessee Williams. Okay. Yeah interesting. Yeah Well, give me the pen back. No Last puppy benefit on the left May 23rd 7 p.m

Masonic Lodge at the Hollywood forever cemetery last podcast on I left no dogs in space special appearances from other Members of the LPN family, but you don't give a shit about that because you get to play with puppies Yeah, so come on out and let's support these dogs and people who need basically what happened after the fires A lot of people when they moved they weren't able to take their dogs with them because they had to move very fast and into places that didn't Take dogs and so there's a lot of extra dogs that need places to go in Los Angeles right now. So we're doing this benefit to help out. I hope you will come in support as well. Contact in the desert is going to be from May 29th to June 2nd. We will be there

doing multiple shows at the Renaissance Resort at the Coachella Valley. Um, last podcast and the left we're torn. Um, the most, uh, the two coming up soonest are going to be on June 28th. We're going to be in Atlanta at the Coca Cola Roxy. There's still some tickets for that. And in July 12th, we're going to be in Salt Lake city at the Sandy amp theater. That's going to be my first outdoor show with y'all. Outdoor fun shows are fun. I'm very excited. So y'all come out. I love you very much.

Shout out to Big Henry, and I hope Henry is doing a little better. It's weird because it is nice. As someone who's emotionally guarded as Henry is, it is watching him confront his emotions, I think, is very interesting, and I applaud him. Yes, as do I. emotionally guarded as Henry is, it is, watching him confront his emotions I think is like, this is very interesting and I applaud him. Yes, as do I.

And listener, be sure to savor that because you won't see it. The most you're going to get is secondhand. Yeah, well, I love you guys very much and be good and we'll talk to you in a couple days. Later on y'all. That's right. I love you guys very much and be good and we'll talk to you in a couple days Let on y'all. That's right I got a couple hails today. Yeah, we got a hail of big Henry. Hail Morris. And of course, yeah Hail Robert the doll. Hail Robert the doll Thank you, Robert. We love you Robert. Thank you for protecting us. Thank you Robert. Thank you

You're great