Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Randonauts

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: Tik Tok teens discover some grisly baggage, Where in the World is Ghislaine?, a belligerently drunk monkey attacks, and MUCH MORE.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories Kessil here we go Kessil fucking pop quiz. All right. What is the smallest container? I could fit Chunked up parts of your body To hide them now. This is gonna do with you're asking me to give advice to you about how to kill me and get rid of my body Why would I be the person to a ask that question to this is not an advice? Segment this is more of a curiosity segment. You just what all right like what do you think about yourself? What if we could chop you up if I had to chop you up sure sure rid of existence of like You're dead body. Yes. Well, that would make a lot of sense

Not a plan, but if you were what could we get you in this is already? This is already coinciding with your plan that you want to cut off my legs to buy me a cheaper casket So you don't have to spend any freaking money even in my death, but okay go on I just don't want to embarrass you Of your coffin I don't want to hear be like look how fucking big that coffin is is it like because you know everyone's gonna be Whisperin it if we have to get the extra large one. We want to find a way to and we're not gonna fully remove your legs We're just gonna cut them so that they can hinge

Right, that's great. No, thank you like Dorff that you know Dorff on golf Dorff Dorff on death I'm fine with it. Thank you now the pastor won't go into roast mode screw his eulogy and just say okay Let's make fun of the tall bastard Not that I I think a pastor will be the one going over or being the main speaker in my funeral But I'm not in charge so I don't know don't know don't know what I'll do yep But I'll you know I think that if we cut you up into tiny enough bits, okay? I probably could either Feed you do a bunch of bigger

Ravens, uh-huh, right and maybe get rid of you that way sure or I could fill you up full like honestly go for that Queens rich second refrigerator meat freezer One of those and leave it inside one of those Honestly freeze the up you just kind of sit in there for a long time because my mom has meat in that fridge since like 2012 now that I think of an H-bone Screw the casket. I want the double meat freezer. That's how I want to be buried tape it up Put me in the ground Keep it plugged in because I want to be on ice just like you're the killed me

It's bad for the planet, but I will do it for you. I think you should be allowed to have that last wish Thank you. Hey, what's up, everyone? Welcome to side stories. I am Ben with Henry We have some crazy stories this week. What was something that 2020 didn't have well serial killers Except for now perhaps we have one It's crazy. What's going on in Seattle? I don't know whether or not it's a serial killer or whether or not It's kind of like what they said when they found those mysterious bodies that were all lined up in Long Island a couple years ago I want to say that was like eight years ago

Yeah, where they said it might not be the layer of a serial killer But it might just straight up be a place where people bury bodies and two mobsters coming at me like hey Freak, what are you doing? What are you? What are you dropping here? It's got cheated me a pool yesterday? Ha ha ha bury them over here. It's where the goals shit. Well, you should never cheat a pool You're gonna end up getting buried in Long Island This is a question then for the audience and for you mr. Zabrowski What's scarier one serial killer dropping off all of their victims near the river or Just tens of people having one murderer under their belt

I feel more comfortable if it's one person because that makes it a lot easier to find the sociopath Or I mean easier to avoid the sociopath the one person idea actually I find much more scary the other one I find it's kind of I have more of a feeling of a fostering sense of community And allowing people to mingle once again That's phase four is is being able to be phase four of the hope of the release is being able to bury a body together Well speaking of speaking of bringing people together Theoretically, that's what social media is supposed to do doesn't really seem to be working doesn't seem to be work That's also what tiktok is doing and in this case

Tiktok gave us a true crime saga. Look at this. Alright, so this comes from this I'm using the source from heavy.com. This is a Over the weekend a tiktok video shows rando nodding teens finding suitcase with dead body parts Now this was written by Jessica McBride. Yeah, so first of all, I'm going to explain what rando nodding is Yeah, I also have just learned what it is. It is an app that you can download onto your phone They used to be think big in the day. Okay, they abused have fun And I think people still do more than earlier Spectrum when I'm with you people used to do geocaching or you like args. We did an arg

I was a part of an arg called. This is my Milwaukee that bears turns Bravo and we had an arg where The coordinates for a specific meetup were hidden into the html of posted videos and then internet sleuths We'd have to go into the source material Find these these little coordinates and then show up for like kind of fun ideas and then geocaching is it people go search for Something right? I hit a chance to go on a geocache treasure hunt. We did a bar hop along with it It was super frickin fun. Although now I think you would just get arrested for like being a peeping Tom or just like, you know People now I think would be a little bit more scared if you're if you're digging around a lamp post and you're just here I'm here to find a post-it note that has words of encouragement on an officer

But that's what we were actually we're in a new surgery but the last surgery saw was the Pokemon go Right Pokemon go will create a the scary world of monsters everywhere and they all are different colors And they're different sized wings and you have to go you're looking for him And I'm like I want to stay away from him and now of course They're not real Henry You not play the app when we're recording, please also you're 35 years old also with Pokemon go speaking of dead bodies Whoo a bunch of people looking for Pokemon found pokey dead people I don't know or people with pokes in them

I have no idea what I'm trying to say. I'm worse than Hillary Clinton Pokemon go to the polls But they found a bunch of corpses while playing that game They did and now we're seeing and he got mugged and he got mugged and all that stuff So but now we're seeing tick-tock has had a fascination with the new app that it's in the same world called It's like rando not I believe what it's the term is and the idea is that you know In me in the guise of stealing your location and search imagery Search information what they're showing you is that it's this idea that you put your location in you make an intent Like you think of something you want like I want to see something

unexplainable like honestly and stuff and then they believe that your mind can influence a random number generator And there's a lot of studies the CIA actually has done in terms of remote viewing about the concept of can your brain Fuck with what random numbers do like random number generators Can you help steer them and so what it does it the random number generators? Create like a set of coordinates for you to go to and it's a fun little exercise for tick-tockers right where they're going out It's helping people that are stuck inside during the pandemic They're going out to go see the world and they're good. They're good at least weird little corners, but one group Did not find anything remotely fun. There's these two teenage girls

You see this video they are they're all they're all having a really good time to discover this with this little suitcase out in This rocky beach, you know, like It's suitcase Took us to suitcase and they're like poke it poke it and the one girl goes down She kind of scrambles on the rocks and the stick and she's like I'm poking the bag I'm poking it and they're like What I love the most about this tick-tock video obviously extremely extremely tragic We all know that but the funny thing about this is the innocence of youth in the beginning where they're like

What could it be? Could it be full of money? Coins is a treasure. It's like no, no, this is 2020 and this is the real world You don't open up a box full of cash. You don't open it. No indeed It doesn't work like that because as they open they're like open it up open up like man. That smells bad Mm-hmm smells real bad. Yeah, that's not any of the real poke and poke a poke and they're like Oh, we should call the police and then you watch them become adults Set into these kids And they're just like oh my oh my god as they watch and then it just cuts to all of these articles of these bodies finger

And now what they're saying is oh this was the one body was found inside of it was a it was a black plastic bag So they were all going we saw inside of the suitcase, of course They zipped up to they went to go fight later on people witnesses saw SPD zipping someone up or something into a full-size black body bag So this is according to Seattle police who are now investigating several body bags So thank you to those tiktok gals. They just out there having a good time. You guys put on your detective Detective caps unbeknownst to you. You woke up in the morning a girl. You're going to bed a woman. It's not good It's not fun to be an adult. That's the ultimate lesson. So Seattle police have now found multiple bags Officers responded to the call. This was at Elliott Bay in West Seattle

Please searched around and found a second bag floating in the water nearby. This is according to Steve Booty. He says there was a bootie. There was a big old booty. I love it Yeah, me must love that you must love getting that I actually have a very small booty and I have not enjoyed the last name Booty because They keep on saying I have a big booty, but I have a small booty I tell you what I sometimes go around and this is more sort of my secret shame just to stop Once the heckling is that I I put a pair of balloons in my uniform

Must be hard to sit. I'm sick of being called Steve. No booty. Oh Oh, you got a nice booty Steve. This is according. This is what he told Como news KOMO news. He says there was a police boat and an inflatable boat and they had a hook and they took Plastic bags out. I saw them take out Two bags. So, you know, your life is not did not end in the best circumstance when police are on a boat fishing you out with a hook That is not a way I want to go. I don't want to be known as oh Henry Zabrowski, he loved to laugh. He ended up as bait Absolutely not. So it's unclear if these remains are male or female

This is what I'm gonna say when it comes to the person who dumped these body bags You got lazy with it. Aren't you supposed to dump these bags? You know for a fact, this isn't the person who killed them This is probably a lackey. I mean, we don't know. We don't know. He could he could be the mob son Are you talking about we have a corky Romano here? I think we might have a corky Romano You got to go deep water with it and my understanding is I mean, we don't really know but you got to wait the bag I didn't see any weights in the bag. So there was just a lot of mistakes being made unless it's slow tide You put it up in high tide But yes, this person I'm gonna say obviously in a rush. Yeah

Yeah, not sitting not being present. No, and that's why may my I'm gonna say this right to you right now I don't want you to be covering up crimes. I don't want you to but you know We've all made a couple of mistakes in the past. We've all had to figure out like, you know, maybe you had maybe you didn't want to kill So we got to kill somebody out of self-defense and you need to hide the body, right? Yeah, you need to do that you sit in the car with the body for a second breathe in four seconds hold For seven seconds, sure slowly release for six seconds Getting a presence of mind really think about how we need to hide this body Then you can really get yourself back in the game. But yes, it has to be weighted down

You should probably feed it to dogs But when it comes down to this story, these these these tiktokers are really Getting to the bottom of it. I don't know what the hell's going on and well Who knows whatever the hell else rando not shits out because now we're gonna start seeing Whether or not this is this the guy planting the bodies Well, what's so amazing is tiktok is full of videos Sometimes they're busty gals sometimes they're muscular men and they're dancing and they're singing along

So you just imagine you're flipping through your tiktok You're having a fine time right before bed and then you stumble upon a crime scene Where children have discovered a rotting corpse inside of a duffel bag or instead of a suitcase It really does have to give you pause unless of course, this is just another Desensitization of where we are going as a as a society where it's like. Oh, yeah Um, Kate Upton's dancing to some song for a Burger King commercial. I don't know whether that would be on tiktok Oh dead body. Oh, there's a talking frog. We should stop And take it in but well, you know sometimes stop don't flick and say that was somebody's husband wife

Perhaps son or daughter, but they I will say they're not like Whatever the jaker logan paul's whatever they were they knowingly filmed a bunch of dead corpses They didn't know they were about to discover a corpse They thought that they were about to discover something fun and then they found the opposite of fun Which is just one of the crushing Realizations of becoming an adult. I remember the first time I saw a dead body on the new york city subway Really, you just see a dead body sitting there and I remember a bunch of people being like hey, man Hey touching this guy's shoulder and then watching him go

Slump Just be dead. He is just dead and he was riding that train for free Well, you think about that You knocked him over, huh? You're just knocking over dead bodies. I was on the other I was literally on the other side of the train car Watching a bunch of guys Because they were like trying to talk this guy wasn't responding right and they were Touching him touching touching him and then when he slumped over everyone the train went

I could imagine that being quite horrifying This is why if you're ever if if you're in new york and you're visiting You got to learn how to look at nothing while still having your eyes open It's a skill you will start finding different corners that you never know existed You can't look at anyone because if they are dead You got to wait for the police to show up. You're late to a date You never met the wife that you were supposed to have now you're 75 years old You're lonely always a bachelor dying of alcoholism about to jump off a bridge in san francisco

All because you found a dead body on the subway and stopped yourself from finding love Unless you searched a dead body and you found the hidden emeralds of galant and it wished you gave you a wish Of every wish that you ever wanted to come true and you just had to find This gem hidden deep inside the butthole of a corpse on the new york city subway system Well, that's that's just a coroner's good sunday But there is no way that that diamond or jewel should ever be kept by you Obviously the person that held it died a horrible horrible death You know you get three wishes and then the devil comes back and says and now it's my turn to make a wish

And then he gapes you or something like that or whatever the devil wants to do that day It's just about you just find a way to make The other side of the wish something that you're into too So it's a oh, I wish to be famous for something only I can do and then the devil makes you fucking famous from being the only person that can fucking like Put his put your own dick inside of your own asshole right like I think and then you just which is cool People would like that right and then you just fucking blast yourself every day until your life is shattered and you lose your job But you understand you're having a good time while you're doing it lean in can you imagine?

I don't think be okay. So the cliche Three wishes thing. I want all the money in the world. I want to be famous. I want to like whatever have any Uh partner that I want in the world Can you imagine ever wanting to be famous because all you're going to do is like all right fine You're famous and your name is now mel Gibson. It would just be a nightmare and you'd be like oh, I am famous But yeah, it's like oh my god. I'm a fucking asshole. What no No, just happen to be careful what you wish for speaking of somebody who's famous who doesn't want to be famous Milwaukee PD criticized for old tweak congratulating capu left the dommer victim

We put this up. This is from news week. This came up last week John Balzerac because there was a the Milwaukee PD Who's just holy shit, man. This is so bad the fucking police cannot do a single thing correct No, they cannot do a single fucking thing correct So just a little just a little groundwork. Milwaukee PD. First of all PD's police departments don't need to be on twitter That's number one. I just fuck. I'm so sick of I'm sick of all of it. I don't like funny cop videos I don't like any of this shit. I need none of them. So Milwaukee PD in order to I guess be nice Said we are we are honoring two of our former officers with a combined 61 years of service

One of those officers has had we will as Henry will explain Maybe doesn't need to be honored at all. It was police officer John Balzerac He was Balzerac was involved in a deadly mistake surrounding the Jeffrey Dahmer case This is the famous police officer story of the police officer that left the 14 year old Conor acts some months in some the phone With this Jeff with Jeffrey Dahmer assuming that the boy who was nude and bleeding From the asshole from was completely fine. And then the donor he just left him behind Balzerac was fired after the incident and then he was quietly reinstated in may 1994 and the

Obviously the blunder tarnished his name and career as it should have but then you Rebooted his name first of all never should have been rehired ever before it should not have he should have been selling hot dogs I believe at one point. Oh, I don't want a hot dog. I know I don't know. No phone service. But apparently it was also named officer of the year later on in his career And you know as Henry alluded to allowing this 14 year old boy to go back with Jeffrey Dahmer, of course Early 90s gay was icky and he was just like, I don't want anything to do with it. Also. There was a racial component There was a lot of african-american women a lot of black women there being like, yo That kid is bleeding from the ass

Jeffrey Dahmer is someone that we know in this neighborhood. He is very scary He threatened to arrest all of the people that were there being like you got to arrest You got to arrest Dahmer and take this kid The irony is he could have been a hero this would have been I mean your father found one killer and he still talks about it to this day Yes, if you are the cop that bust Jeffrey Dahmer You have you got a lifetime appointment on cnn msnpc. You want to go on fox news and be like You'd be their go-to cop. You can do that too hero cop

You would be the new super hero cop the fucking horrible Wave of honor that Rudy Giuliani Whatever he did wave after 9 11 and now we're stuck with this fucking ass same thing with this bullshit We could you could have been good, but yeah, just Absolutely fucked it up. You could have been I believe it's paul hols the man who found the golden state killer, correct? Oh, he's doing he's doing fucking what he's doing. Yeah, we met him a few times He's a celebrity this officer because he didn't do his job got first of all multiple people killed I'm not sure how many folks again mostly people of color mostly black men

I'm not sure how many of them were killed by Dahmer after this But it's gotta be this is this is now Dahmer going to berserker. I believe because I was reading I don't remember Well, it's mid. He had already moved into Milwaukee. So he was already in the middle of it. I don't remember where it fell During his time period of crimes a large number of people could have been saved if this cop Just did his job dare I say The easiest day to be a cop is when someone runs to you 14 year old 14 years old bleeding from the anus from the asshole Being like hey, I'm being abused. I I'm in the presence of a serial killer

It's like you be a hero. Did you just yeah, it's like do you just do uber eats my job for me? Because this is the easiest delivery. I have ever had in my life to arrest a serial killer You don't have to be freaking ball hero moment so easy and then he could have he could have he could have made it seem It was a dark dark night in Milwaukee storm. I knew I could tell I could tell just by the way He was looking at that little kid. I knew he's about to eat him. He's about to lick his lips He could have made himself out to be such a genius. I usually don't take a left down that straight But today something drew me down. Maybe it was the sunlight or the or maybe it was the moonlight Now he just gets the job god, you know, and now he gets the peacefully retire. It's fun

It's I think that the lack of justice here in this country is really helping it I think we're it's really helping just how little justice is happening. Anyway shape or form We still have the cops that killed baronna taylor are completely without any we got the one guy fired But that's it. Nothing else is happening. It's not nobody's helping anybody. Well speaking of justice not being done There has been another sasquatch sighting and by sasquatch I mean glane maxwell, of course the woman who supplied jeffery ebstain with all of his young ladies This is our next segment called yeah That's a great television show for children and of course young ladies. I mean young victims glane maxwell

She is reportedly hiding out in paris france Uh, evidently this is according to um one of this is just according to someone who reached out to the sun They say glane maxwell has been leaving every month. So staying in a place for a month and then dipping out trying to get people off of her trail Why is she not arrested that somebody else? I don't understand How was she why is she not? Somewhere with the cop. Well, that's what's so interesting if the sun a tabloid can figure out where she is I'm assuming the cops can too. This is what the source told the tabloid

glane is moving locations every month to keep private investigators off her tail And staying at residences of trusted colleagues and contacts Um, she has stuck around france during the coronavirus pandemic and plans to try to stay here stay in her home country To avoid possible extradition. That is what this source told the sun They also say she wants to remain in france for as long as she can again to take advantage to take advantage Of extradition laws. So it looks like She's just hanging out in france. Uh having an amazing french breakfast and being fucking skinny And that's all they do over there. I don't know what else happens in france. I'd love to go

But not not I don't want to go like I feel like that's the devil's wish where I mean like oh, I wish I could go to paris and then it's just me Fucking being gelane backswell's butler in paris You're like, oh Well, I gotta see how many indies there's this pile of indies. Oh my goodness There's a lot of paperwork to sign when speaking with that chick. Uh, it's cool, man. France is nice. I got a lot of bikes I went to an awesome place there They gave us wine out of baby bottles and it was very communal and everyone eats together

I'm not saying this was a grooming place. I was 17 years old I don't think that they wanted to be like big baby bed and come and get naked in the back for us It was just kind of fun and kitschy and I saw I saw the Eiffel tower, but you know what Henry Who cares who cares it doesn't do anything the Eiffel tower is one of those. It's very pretty I want to see the Eiffel tower If there's a lot of things that are like that that I saw that are like, I mean, yeah, technically there's many things The arc de triumf what does it do? You know, but it's nice looking I guess so this is what this is why I don't want to see Stonehenge because I know it's gonna be exactly that would be like

It's a bunch of rocks and then I know Marcus is gonna be like, you're like Joey Ramone We'll punch you. We're gonna punch you in your sides saying like yeah, because you don't understand because the old Yeah, those rocks will look very big to you because you're a fucking homunculus. Oh my goodness I would be afraid to do any of those rocks because you're gonna fucking lean on one Like some kind of character from a B grade John Turturro film and you're gonna domino effect the entire Stonehenge You know what? I wish I would I wish I would I am of the scale Where I can appreciate

The size and shapes of the Stonehenge run in between all the little little holes To get out my little fucking hobbit my little hobbit places You're allowed to still have childish sort of visions of grandeur Everything is ruined when you can see the top of it because then you see All of its all of its flaws all of its mistakes But this is and that's where we have to look to you for your wisdom. No, I know that but the thing about France The thing about the Eiffel Tower is what you don't realize it's just like new york All of these like sidewalks in new york all of the romance

New york in the summertime Smells like an outhouse Everywhere you go is covered in trash you're stepping in dukey Romance in France is the same way because you got that you got you got all the water you got all the canals You got all this trash. It's not I love it, but I'm just saying it's like It ruins It ruins are looking for romance No, I think that's what this is about

I think what comes down to is that what you are suffering from Is a lack of a sense of romantic mystery and your day-to-day the idea of catching the glance of a stranger or being with a Person you're intimate with many years and maybe discovering new New Corners of your intimacy deep within the callows A france. No, buddy. I'm telling you've ever been in a gondola in italy. I love boats I'm fine with them. I mean, I would love to do it. I love to heckle the guy and be like faster Faster and then I would do a lot of like follow that guy. Here's 50 bucks. Follow that guy. Follow follow him

You're gonna a lot of fun You're gonna end up in a bag zipped up in a briefcase found by tiktokers And they'd be like, why did you die and then the guy who runs the gondola would be like he was polish and annoying They're like, you are free to go sir. I just put him on the pile free to go Here's another story that I don't know. I'm just gonna Throw this out there. This one's we hooked up mclean's real story that I don't know what the hell is going on It's another one of those There's just so much fishy shit

Happening right now between the fucking lynchings between all these kind of stuff There's so much stuff that isn't really unexplainable and and and but also or highly explainable And we just can't see it yet and it's not being revealed to us This comes from canada. This is the novus kosher shooter case No, this was we he has he finally got named gabriel wartman gabriel wartman and just a reminder for those the novus kosher shooter It was a one day rampage. I believe he killed around nine or ten people Mostly relatives of his 22. No, he killed 22 people all over No, it is the biggest massacre in canadian history

He killed a many people both people connected to him and randomly Stealing people's cars crazy story. Yes. He was dressed like a mounted police officer. He had um a facsimile Mounty car which is part of the reason why people thought he was a cop. He was going it's a very scary story But there is the story that came from mclean's now I looked up mclean's to try to see how reputable this is I was like, please don't let this just be fucking canadian bright part, but it doesn't look like it as it looks like it It's legit and they say that the killer

gabriel wartman withdrew $475,000 in cash From a place called basically this brink stores where you went to a brink depot in dartmouth novus kosher on march 30th which I believe was The day before was like a couple like 20 days before The shoot right And so he picked up in just these double bags that show security cam videos So he went to a brinks depot which is where the bank

Gets their big piles of money, right and when this kind of shows it is very similar to the way the rcmp Plays off their informants and confidential agents, right? They have all of these people working undercover It is really really strange. They don't know how he got access to this money They this is not a way civilians normally get this money. There's several mounted police officers that are Speaking anonymously saying we the because the official line is that the mounting police says that we had no connection with wartman, right? But now they're saying well, how the hell did he get access to this amount of cash? Especially since his job description of the most canadian word possible because he's a dentist But they called him a denturist denturist

So this is according and again the rcmp is basically like their fbi It's a it's a huge huge thing Organization you don't want to have contact with them basically because if you do you're in trouble You're in trouble. This article is written by paul polango steven mayor and shannon gormley All right, so this is the so the mclean's reported Um that this money came from the cibc intria a subsidiary of the chartered bank and this is a quote Uh, the money transaction was quote consistent with how the rcmp funnels money to its confidential informants And agents and is not an option available to private banking customers. That is why it's like

Okay, then who is this and we're not saying that he was an rcmp planter. We don't know but it's just highly Highly strange. It's just really really suspicious. So and we don't know why it's like and I love it So this is one of the fun Witness testimonies that came From a person who works at the bank from the cibc Basically, they said a retail banking expert they spoke to could have been a teller who knows but it's just such a canadian Witness testimony is that I wanted to read it. Yes. Now when you come into my branch You want a ton of cash, right? Then I say well, you got to give us a couple of days, you know

We put in our brings order. I order the money through Brinks and that's when the money arrives. You come into the branch I bring into the back room. I count the money out for you, right? Send in someone to bring stick at the money I've never heard of that before the reason is if I'm the banker and you've deposited your savings in my bank branch I'm responsible For making sure the money goes to the right person. If you want this money, I'm gonna have to verify your identity and document that I can't do that if I'm referring if I'm transferring the money to Brinks I think you forgot to apologize at the end. Well, that was what that was the big thing is that they're trying to say they had Basically issued a formal apology for the rcmp. They basically saying like

Sorry for not catching the sky in the first place, which is I guess a huge deal in Canada Well, he took out damn near half a million dollars It's extremely strange that after you take out enough money to just go on vacation basically for life Go to punta del este go to Uruguay Go do anything you want with half a million bucks and you get yourself 30 years of fun beach living But that's the Marvin Heemeyer story too The Marvin Heemeyer story too is that he fucking had 375 grand he had already gotten everything that he wanted before pulling the trigger on unleashing the killdozer and everybody

He got everything you wanted. You just became some kind of he just I mean the term is bitch, baby But he was a bitch baby with a killdozer That is just one of the fucking the that's a very powerful bitch, baby And then this guy Very powerful with the rmcp is trying to say the one thing that kind of That kind of fits with workman is that he was obsessed with the mounies and he dresses money And that's a part of the reason why they think they might have some kind of secret relationship with him was because they never investigated the fact that he had illegal arms on his

Even though several people had called in saying that this guy's got fucking assault rifles on his property And also no one prosecuted the domestic abuse he had of his he committed on his wife Which is I mean that just sounds like just unfortunately normal police work where they just are not they just don't serve Those things unless you're punching somebody in front of them So they're saying they might also just be somehow in his obsession with being a mounie Maybe he figured out a way to fool these people like maybe maybe it goes that far But it's really really strange also who knows where you got that money from maybe he could have been said they could have been saving it Could talk about he might have been some kind of doomsday prepper

Well, he could be a doomsday prepper would not be surprised that oftentimes go with goes with hoarding firearms And again, I'm not against uh, you know having a couple of firearms as a matter of fact I plan on getting a large one one day for home protection And if you can snipe them from your kitchen technically, that's your land. Um, I don't think that's true. I don't think that's right I don't think I think that is correct. That is incorrect But according to Darren Campbell, uh, he works with the rcmp. This is what he had to say He said the investigation has not uncovered any relationship between the gunman and the rcmp outside No, this is an interesting twist here outside of an estranged familial relationship between the gunman and two

Retired rcmp members. So he says that we have no connection But then he's like, ah, yeah, well, he knows two of them that were retired But uh, they're they were friends with someone that he no longer talks with I don't know It's just very Very suspicious. No one really knows where this money has gone. I guess he didn't give it away um It is just Jessica davis a former senior strategic analyst for the csis and president of the principal consultant at insight threat intelligence

She had this to say she says in the lead up to the terrorist attacks People do withdraw large sums of money to prepare for the attack or to give it to someone else Like sure making final preparations. So sure and that's quite possible I'm saying it's quite quite possible that he just had been saving all of this fucking money Like a crazy person maybe and had went and bought all of his ammunition and had done all the prep That is quite quite possible. The main thing that it's fishy is why did he get it from the brinks depot? How did he get it from there? And that's the one thing which is just another I guess that's another mystery that goes to the fucking grave I will find out maybe I don't know maybe we'll find out but that's I think that's going to require deeper digging

Okay, well, let's switch stories to a let's do a lighter story really quick here This is a story that's near and dear to all of our hearts because it involves booze and it involves adorable monkeys Uh, this is a this is a by the way if you're going to read the new york post And I I do recommend it because you do find little tidbits a story like this Is where new york post it's just like this is this is new york times peak new york times This is like this is this is where they are really comfortably the top of news without a doubt So new york post had a sparks. She rides drunk money drunk monkey gets life behind bars For attacking 250 humans. Oh my goodness. This is a monkey named kalua. This is in india

I think it's in india. First of all kalua is the cutest name for a drunk monkey ever It's like it's like if the big lebowski if jeffrey lebowski had a monkey he'd name it kalua And they would have their way russians together. So cute, but apparently It attacked and teared it teared through 250 people and killed one while on a fucking rampage Yeah, dude in india So I guess this is according to this article again That apparently the monkey belonged to an occultist and they say that he supplied the pet with a regular diet of hard liquor And possibly monkey meat. So I'm actually gonna criticize new york post a little bit here because we get ourselves a cannibal monkey

This is a cannibal. That's they obviously that should have led that should have led the headline Yes, so the owner who again this is supposed to cultist. He was found dead Uh, the monkey was like what the fuck wears all my booze. So they think that this was the monkey going through violent withdrawal Uh, it took us aggression out to people walking the streets. Oh, no, kissle. Don't quit booze I'm never you know You might the doctors and the police might tell you So he was attacking people But strangely he was particularly attacking the faces of women and children. So that's not good

That's what gets you arrested right there. It was just going crazy Kahlua six years old Uh, they they finally did they didn't kill it, which is amazing. Um, they uh, they they they arrested it How do you arrest it? Do you get little cuffs? I don't know how they arrested the monkey I don't I just give it a banana and just wait for it to get tired after eating it I have no clue what they do, uh, but this is what happened So it was ultimately brought to kanpur zoo where he remained hostile towards female zookeepers I have a feeling this drunk occultist taught this monkey

Like a lot about men's rights I don't know what happened. This guy just fucking did he made a mean monkey. Yes, he did So this is according to the zoo doctor mode, uh, moed, uh, nasser He says we kept him in isolation for some months and then shift and then shifted him to a separate cage There has been no change in his behavior and he remains as aggressive as he was It has been three years since he was brought here But now it has been decided that he will remain in captivity for all of his life That is I mean, that's how he did it. I mean technically this

I'm gonna say That he was doing on purpose. He was trying to get three square You see, he didn't want to go back to the public sector. I don't think he wasn't ready, man He didn't want to fucking he wasn't ready for the outside. He needed to stay in the pen He's got some happens fully institutionalized. He's got some we did this to him. We did it ranting Alcoholic occultist screaming at him all day and then then he's alone And I'm surprised he didn't eat the man that used to take care of him go with the start nibbling on his hands and stuff They didn't mention that but this is an interesting part of this story

They are testing monkeys when it comes to covid because apparently they have a natural immunity After exposure to the virus. So perhaps this monkey. Yes, he killed one and injured 250 people Perhaps maiming them for life, but it is also possible. He's part of the cure for the corona virus So look at that Look at that, you know, they're gonna run a bunch of tests on him. Oh But he's so cute. They got a picture of him and you know, I mean, it's hard It's hard to be mad at something so cute, but then you do realize they will rip your face off And they start with the soft tissue

So they they'll rip your testicles off like the first thing they do is like eyes and nuts. So it's not fun It's so scary It's so scary the idea of a little thing being that Evil like something about it because it's also like it's a two-foot tall cute little creature Yeah, just fucking rip your nose off your face and it's coming in for a while like because All of our actions would be like oh, oh, come here kalua. Oh, no, no, no, no, no you piece of bread Piece of bread. Oh no, kalua, no I was good to you. I was good to you. It's very scary. I was good to you kalua. Oh my goodness daddy tray. Oh, halloween too

Oh, I was good to you michael. Yes. I was good to you michael rob zombie. I love him Um, um next week. I want to do a little bit next week I'm going to do a little bit of a round up more ufo stories because we had a couple I got someone sent me some videos from a guitar player That they follow on instagram. Okay. That was some of the best ufo footage I have seen in a minute. Really? Okay. That is I'll show it to you off air so you could see but I want to find a way to To put them out there Because I can't speak towards the rest of his instagram profile. I have no clue if it's good or not, but the these videos

Of these ufos and I'm talking about exactly what they were talking about in brazil those like porcelain squares Weirds bleeding lights. I have to see whether or not that they are real or not I think that's a one thing I want to check just kind of see Everyone's gonna attack in any way. Um, but I it's just There is some ufo shit happening Absolutely, and if you want the brazilian military, there was a leaked document that came out I remember we talked about the blue haze ufo's that came out like it was probably like a month ago They came out and said there was some weird document that was released that I don't know whether or not again

I don't know if it was real or not, but they also were talking about how there were what they called intruders Out of these ships there's some weird shit going on And if you want a little bit more insight on all things strange, uh, if you go to our patreon, uh, you can listen to an interview that Henry and I did with john tenney Really cool guy super interesting. You might recognize him from hell year Hell year and uh, that guy he's been investigating paranormal for a long time in his life story We kind of get into that A little bit in the beginning of the interview

Really really fascinating had a near-death experience very young And that sort of led him down the path that he is on now So if you want a little bit of a uh, a little appetizer Whenever we talk about paranormal you can always listen to that and I know we have some paranormal stories coming up here Uh in the future when it comes to last podcast on the left proper as well Yeah, our summer of strange is continue. Absolutely. All right. Is it time for hero of the week? All right, let's do hero of the week This week's hero of the week is columbus ohio

Why because petitioners have wanted to change the name to flavor town And it seems like the momentum is going in guy fietti's favor This is this might be unprecedented because I don't know if columbus ohio is necessarily the but it's the people of columbus ohio They're driving this movement to rename columbus to fray of flavor town and now I know I've been disparaging of mr. Fieri in the past. Yeah, you don't even you don't even call him by his god-given television birth name I will never make a metallion He was given that name when he was on the food network star

And if a producer tells you that your name is now fieri not fieri you're fieri for life, henry I get it. It's the only thing i'm holding on to my last shred It's my last shred, but what I will say is that if you rename columbus ohio flavor town, there is no fucking way We won't shoot a live special Of course to be I might move there flavor town So there is a change.org petition calling on the mayor the mayor's name is andrew guinther To rename the city of columbus to flavor town now if I'm the mayor

Okay, it's like oh, I might get some political pushback sure But then you could also be the mayor of flavor town Which is so much better of flavor town, but technically I think that if you're the mayor of flavor town You automatically become guilty of some form of sexual assault guy fieri Guy have to be the only guy fieri's not I'm talking about the mayor of actual flavor town Because the only way you could get past being mayor of flavor town is you have to be like a cartoon pelican well You have to have no genitals Well, I don't know about the genitalia on mr.

guinther But this petition was started by a 30 32 year old former columbus resident This is what they had to say they say columbus is an amazing city But one but one whose name is tarnished by the very name itself It's namesake christopher columbus is in the bad place because of all his raping slave trading and genocide Now that's not a proud legacy Why not? Yeah, he says

Like technically we're gonna probably do a last podcast in the left episode on him at some point Well, he didn't even he didn't even we know he didn't even find america Um, why not rename the city of flavor town? The name the name is too is the name is twofold for one It honors central ohio's proud heritage as a culinary crossroads and one of the nation's largest test markets for the food industry Which is all of them which all that means and I was from a small town called stevens point wisconsin We were also a test market because they just they give us all of the worst sugary foods first and be like did they die? Oh, they did not but we can take this national My parents also are in that they're in a town in florida

It's the same thing where it just they get all of the rollouts. It's like my mom's like. Oh, henry tomas. Did you try the new? It's a pancake burrito Mom stop stop. They're trying to make you leave the house To stay in the house. I remember I got spider-man cereal that no one ever heard of that was absolutely amazing There was so many things that were in and out of the store. I'm like what is going on america Why don't you support these incredible products that a massively fat young ben kissle loves? Uh, they say secondly the chef chef liberty guy fietti was born in columbus So naming the city in his honor

Makes a lot of sense and they say uh, he's a good dude and it would be really superior To its current nomenclature. So there you go guy fietti You may just be the greatest ohio resident in the history of ohio and there's a lot of people great from ohio Then you're going to get a lot of pushback on this, but I also do believe that he has proven himself to be One at least one of the top citizens of uh of ohio and you know, ohio But I will say if you're going to rename the the entire city flavor town You have to at least name a public bathroom the spring hill jack To shitter of the year

Okay, just once because because our boy from spring hill jack Coffee the spring hill jack coffee is in columbus ohio. Okay, and he is he is He's that's another he's fuel in the city That is another great reason to rename it to flavor town spring hill jack made in flavor town usa That is branding. It's crazy branding. I love the idea. So there you go people of columbus Here's to you the next flavor town can't wait to add you to our tour dates whenever we can tour in 2048 when we're doing Geriatrics on the left the last geriatric podcast on the left. Um either way, we will see you at some point just before we die

Want to go out? I want to go out. No inside inside I don't want to go out. Here we go. We've got some listener emails. Let's do something. Something's disgusting I've been told to stop with the sounding information By fans, what do you mean? They don't want to hear about sounding anymore How often did you I hear you so much the last two weeks the last but that's only two weeks I mean you've definitely talked about grosser things for longer But that is I mean it seems that that was the peak and we really hit our limit with that That's interesting until I see something new

Because someone did send a bunch of emails about people finding them having to find uh q-tips of a man's penis And they're not found on the x-rays and I believe that one of the guys said that he had the q-tips of his penis And he asked him how do you get those q-tips up there and he said I had an itch And that is rough So here we go. This is another story. This is fucking this is insane. I just How would that solve an itch? Well, I don't know. We apparently we're not allowed to go into it, but What if you just found a bunch of ear gunk inside? Now what the heck is that doing in there? Oh, it smells weird. Oh, it smells so weird. Very strange

All right, so a few years back I was working as a security guard in a pretty well known chain of hospitals in my area I love Wendy's new chains of mental assaults. Can't believe it. They have the iv drip Just being that beautiful beautiful chili of theirs It really calms you down Yeah, it does Now and then we'd get patients from the local mental health facilities or the nearby jail prisons Most of the individuals that came to us were fairly docile harmless or so heavily drugged They would sit and drool or just stare into space with glassy button eyes. It's very sad. Very sad. It's very fucked up

But that's what they got to do, right? I mean, yes, I can't wait for it one day fingers crossed Uh-huh, then we on occasion we get some of that we'd call a frequent flyer Some of these individuals were actually dangerous. I understand that if you're sick, you may not have control of all your faculty's Behaviors or actions, but this was this was a bridge very far. Okay We had a frequent flyer whose actuals name. I'm not gonna. I'm going to admit He was HIV positive And he looked and he spit at all of the faces of the nurses, right? They put a special mask on him

So he couldn't do so right got the old Hannibal Lecter mask. Yeah Yes, however, when he didn't get his way, he had to wear the mask even though you don't he can't get HIV from spit It's just one of us, right? You know, you just don't want to be spit on. Yeah, I don't want any of you spit on However, when he didn't get his way, he had to wear the mask this man would throw If he had a wear a mask on his face, he would throw himself on the floor all 400 pounds of himself Obviously, we can't leave him there So nurse nursing and security would have to pick him up and put him back in bed This was his routine his minor rebellion

He would do it as much as he could making us pick him up while he fought and spit over and over again It was a miserable work then none what one day we got a call. His name was attached to it I immediately thought oh god, it's on the floor damn I go to his room the whole security team is there everyone on site and that hospital is huge So that was quite a few people including the director of operations They're all looking grim and dressing and PPE personal protective equipment. Wait, hold on So everyone is fat. So we got a 400 pound spit and patient like the world's largest lizard And then we have a bunch of fat doctors around is this flavor town is this flavor town hospital? No

No, no the hospital is huge There is not everyone in the hospital is huge. I thought you were like I thought everyone was like huge Or I was like what is happening? We're welcome to be way for a hospital I only take advice from fat doctors by the way and doctors that smoke because they give you advice And they know that they're not doing right, but that makes them tough. I like them. Yeah, they're grim They're grim and they're unsure So now I'm thinking this is a huge deal So I sand with them and I put on protective gear also

No one warns me what I'm about to see. I'm second place in the bums rush into the room. Jesus christ It's our big friend again only this time. He has torn off his colostomy bag He has used a spoon to dig into the opening and he is flinging shit from inside of himself at us Every now and then he would get a chunk of flesh With some shit and then he'd slurp it off the spoon like it was chocolate ice cream After them disgusting back and forth Can we go back to the sounding conversation, please? This is like so much He's eating dookie out of his own body

This is like the colostomy. Oh my god You know when you eat that ice cream out of the tub you go and you sneak a little bit Sure, it's he's doing that to his shithole that's in his torso So we managed to take the spoon away and we restrained him. I quit my job a little after that To this day, I can't get the image of shit covered flesh on a spoon being shoveled into his mouth So yeah, I bet yeah, no that'll stick with you. That's worse than finding a corpse on a beach So he's digging so hard with this spoon that he's taking the in like doesn't He must have been on so many drugs that he didn't feel it or something or like I think that he was crazy and

motivated And sometimes that's all you need sometimes. It's not like he was on fucking pcp. He was in the hospital Right. Oh, wow. Well rough day. Thank you front line. Thank you. Those are the work Those are the stories of the front line We don't hear and I think we should talk about those more so scary so very scary so scary to be a doctor working We got to do something about the mental health industry in our country. Sure. You know what? I think so and I I think we're gonna figure it out. You know what the big thing I'm gonna say is burger bar Because like you know when you're trapped on a cruise ship

It's so it's fun every two hours to go to the burger bar. You can make yourself a burger See that they change out all the toppings just something to distract people. I love that idea Okay Now here here's a story of how my dad maybe one of the first service members to witness the ufo's that you most recently Discussed on the side stories episode space poltergeist In 1973 dad joined the coast card and while serving on a base in southern Alaska He had his first encounter with the otherworldly The story goes that around midnight dad is taken to walk on the road leading away from the coast guard lighthouse

Being winter in Alaska the road is covered in ice and compressed snow and early in the day They ran the plow so he is surrounded by shoulder high banks of snow He is also on alert because bears So he's walking along enjoying an uncommonly quiet night and the full moon When he suddenly feels he's being watched He stops and looks around Worried that he has walked into the sight of a polar bear. That would be fucking scary. Definitely. You got to get away He sees nothing

He continues walking, but then he hears something he describes it like a whoa A heavy noise almost like a large animal exhaling or a huge bellows being worked like a boom Again, he looks and he's around he looks around he sees nothing But he hears the sound again He's now shaken and reminded of just how alone he is and decided it might be time to start heading home Yeah, as he turns around he becomes aware of something above him He looks up sees a large object hovering a mere six feet directly above his head He has no clue how it got to be there without his notice

He had been looking at the moon just moments before just moments before the object was white and maybe 20 feet long He describes the shape as being like a fat or puffy cigar as he stares open mouth and trying to evacuate his bowels And trying not to evacuate his bowels. You never tried to do it Well, I mean, maybe if you don't want to be abducted just take a big dump in your pants and don't leave you alone I don't know. It keeps you moving. Yeah, sure As he stares open mouth, he hears the sound again. We won't Clearly coming from the object at this point

He decides it is time to get gone as kids our favorite part of the story was how he ran so fast that his heels were kicking him in the butt And he just straight up says wait So he ran away Like with his heel. I mean, that's not even the fastest way to run No, no, it's dangerous. Thank you. You gotta be careful of your hamstrings But what he says here These it's as soon as you saw the pentagon releases and the videos that showed the small white tic-tac Or whatever the fat cigar. He said that's exactly what I saw. All right. Well, we'll just do a couple of emails this week

Thank you so much for sending those in love to hear from you Those are freaking trippy. Both of those stories are Trippy and strange for totally different reasons There's just so much in life There's no what there is You know, there's so many different experiences we can all have and share and that's one of those that you're just like It's just something about the shit covered lumps of flesh going into the man's mouth like a bunch of ice cream that also Fucks with me. Sure. I mean makes me truly upset

You have the majestic world of ufology where you look up in the sky You see an enlarged tic-tac and it almost makes you forget That at some point you saw someone dig into their own flesh like it was the world's most disgusting buffet And eat their own flesh and shit. So that is the wonder of life, isn't it? This is why if you are thinking about ending it all you're done with life never forget At some point you may be able to see either of those things and if you don't know, you don't know You never know sometimes, you know, like you'll do something fun. Like, you know, I saw across the street A guiding full open window totally nude having a normal conversation with what looked like his family

So I don't know what it was but it wasn't yelling or anything and I got to see that That's a nude house and yes, Norman Rockwell didn't paint that because he was a very stuffy conservative man But that's a wonderful thing. That's a wonderful thing the nude family every every whatever the rules are that are established Within that home, then it's all things go Unless of course those rules are very disgusting and felonious in which case you got to you got to get out of there Um, but I try not to stare. No, that's good. I think at some point it becomes I don't at what point is it illegal if they are just clear of you because obviously in new york for anyone that's visited You know, if you're on the bottom floor and you live in an apartment your windows are open

You are just you are theater for the world I remember going into my kitchen and I had no curtains and I was living with our friend carly and jeff at the time And she had the cat and I was going through a phase where I was sleeping nude And I remember emerging into the kitchen completely nude I didn't even think about it picked up the cat Stroking the cat normally Petting the cat and looking across and just seeing a man at a copier because it was an office across the street from where I used to live

Very first time I've ever had just looking at me Like over a copier as I'm just pet the cat completely nude and I just feel like he might have been jealous But he didn't understand that I was scarily out of work at the time And you still had roommates henry. Did you not were you not concerned jeff and they were there they were they were out of work So never trust your out of work roommate and hide your cat apparently Yeah, I mean I was I was normal. I wasn't blowing it or anything. Don't fuck the cat Remember that we learned that from ghost cats of the south. Well, we have learned that we learned that a long time ago Almost instinctively like we were born born with that

Thank god. I like that woman that I like that woman last week who had sex with three different breeds of dogs and remember each one of their names and each Remember, that's a horrible thing that I'll always carry for forever. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're definitely Uh, our brains are scarred your brains are scarred. We're all you know, it is what it is We're all we're all part of this just check out last podcast merch. Ha ha speaking of scarred Check it out. We got that bike for sale. I can't believe it It was sold out I I had no idea there were so many bikers not that I'm I mean, uh, henry and I don't bike

Um, marcus bikes, but I was like, I don't know if I'm gonna buy a freaking bike and I guess we did I guess a lot of people did I guess I guess we did I guess and I waited is wonderful. Thank you guys so much for your support as always Yes, you're further there for us. We're there for you. Thank you so much for uh, listening to our bullshit. Absolutely That's why it's important man. You gotta live every day live every day like you could potentially by the by witches Fucking whim Be transported to the body of another human. How would you do? What would you do that?

If I was transported to the body of some buxom model, what would I do then? If I would probably spend hours in the bath That would mean by be kind to me. You would be you would have to With your is he still your brain? Yes That would be horrific for you, buddy. I would just be showing them to a bunch of all this I you know what I'd be showing my breasts to a bunch of homeless people to make them smile I don't know if that would end well, but sure wouldn't that be nice You could do that and I would be laughing about it. I'd be like hey boss

Hey boss because I'd be weird if you could transport to another body put your voice state exactly the same So hey, hey, hey, like it was just me looking like fucking demi lavato or something And I just showing them. You know, I'd be great Yeah, love you just gotta love the twist and turns life will take I mean because one day You're loving your life just fucking being a shoe salesman Outside, you know, I mean you're selling shoes next to the highway. Sure next day You're fucking fighting a bunch of bodies in a fucking suitcase. Look at play in an app on your phone

Look at that little laugh. There's anything can happen anything can happen every day anything can happen. That's right folks Um, also when it comes to merch, we got new top hat shirts out there. So check those out. It's Abraham Lincoln It's a skull. It's vomiting the American flag or at least a flag. Um, all right, everyone Thank you so much. That was done by our boy. Uh, that was done by our friend. Uh, uh, what a gas Yeah, give it to Andy Org man because we forget that he fucking has designed so many things for us for over the year He also did um the side stories Uh new art as well. He's very talented. He's very talented I have no idea how any of you people create anything because I watched those drawing videos on instagram

Where they're like, it's gonna become 3d and then you see when the object becomes 3d in your brain And I'm like, that's witchcraft. How'd you make that 3d though? Like how come it looks 3d now? Because I just saw like four seconds ago. It wasn't 3d and it still confuses me and it makes me angry People got skills. Yeah, we just don't have very many skills. We literally just yell Yeah, that's true. All right, everyone hail yourselves hail satan magustylations one and all Also a final thing. I mean, I hope that everyone's still listening. Thank you to the creators of um, last of us two It's the sweetest thing in the world I can't fucking believe this we'll talk about a little bit when we do the relax fit with marcus

Because he's the one most affected because he was playing the game because I haven't gotten to that game yet I haven't played the original last of us either and it is just but I mean, I know that made marcus It made his year. It's insane. I have never experienced anything like that It really is kind of humbling and nice to see That we are doing what we can entertain people as genuinely as possible and see the effect that it has and I hope that We can continue to do that for as long as possible. I hope so too All right, everyone and now I'm gonna do another hail yourselves Hail Satan

Magustylations. Oh, man Thank you for listening drive safe. Watch out. There's a deer in the road Well, I don't scare people for no reason. This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com