Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Repent or Die

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a cult "anointed by God" kills 7 in Panama jungle, the capture of the "Metal Casket Killer", a man requests trial by combat, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories Man, I tell you what the only thing because of hours now of watching Marshall Apple I talk yeah, he's very charming is he I don't know I actually saw a video of him And I got it for the first time because you guys kept on being like he's got pizzazz And I'm like no I wasn't that's Marcus was and but I did see a little flicker of the pizzazz He has he has pizz. He almost has pizzazz. He's almost there. I get it. I put it more towards the as Like if you also make it rhyme with ass because I hate his face He never answers a question. No, he just drones on and on and on and on

But the one thing he is correct about no kids in a cult. No kids in the cult absolutely not Applewhite had that right. He doesn't like to be annoyed and you know He likes to keep things tidy and kids do not no They don't and they are very hard to convince a child to get rid of its penis We're not gonna talk about very hard very difficult. All right, everyone. Welcome to side stories I am Ben hanging out with Hollywood Henry Zabrowski What a week it has been January a week. It's been starting off strong a lot of mere deer A lot of mayhem a lot of madness and I'm not just talking about what the 49ers did to the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Championship game

Yeah, I hear you're weird. You do you are having an emotional response To it, I know you are so I'm not gonna go too deep. I don't want to go past the surface level about this It seems to be a very big deal Well, I was in San Francisco for sketch fest last weekend and everyone was very I I don't know committed the emotions were high to this football game And you know what I did was there was a bunch of people all around the sports bar watching the game I walked away from that over. I was in the Oakland Airport I went over to Vino Volta and I got myself a nice white wine and a Mediterranean plate like I was a

Schedule woman for Hillary Clinton. Isn't that nice a real Dom Delewis? You went fancy at the airport, huh? Do you think that's a good idea out that one time you went? Did you get seafood at the airport because no never? Yeah, never never? No, no, I got hummus Okay, that's fine. That's safe. It can travel. It's good. There's no it's fine. It's just beans. It's a bean paste It doesn't matter. It's bear. I like it because it's it's I don't know man. It's exotic mayonnaise That's how I consider it. It really is it's great on toast and you can dip some french fries in it Everything is more entertaining than listening to Marshall Apple white speak that is what is also nice is that it sets the bar For how bored do you want to be I was on hour six of watching his horseshit yesterday?

I got so bored. I started watching L run Hubbard speeches. Yeah, spice it up Well, I saw now I'm switching between the two right laughing and reminiscing with LRH Uh-huh just thinking of his admirals cap and how fun it would be to go and tie his asscots for him And then all of his anyone bagged the Marshall fucking apple white now He hates pork chops and everyone should have carrots and what's the difference between the soul the mind in the vehicle? Who gives a fucking well everyone should have carrots. They're very healthy full of beta keratin I had a bunch yesterday Henry. I saw that you posted a picture of L Ron Hubbard Yeah, you made your own meme and it my god did it go viral

Why now this is getting scary. This is getting scary because you know apple white Yes, 39 people 38 people including that 39 I'm sick of this numbers game and Marcus also started last well you said 40. It's not 40 These are human lives. You can't round up or round down. This is not the Iraq war. I'm certain that that in some way Some of them if you took all the common eggs out of all of these people that said had still had balls and the ones that hadn't Hit menopause yet. I think if you pile them all together that equals one and also 40 comes out better than 39 I just came out of my mouth better. Yeah, I have no idea what any of that means, but you know the thing is Henry L Ron Hubbard, I'm gonna say this

Overall in the grand scheme of life has done more damage Than apple than apple white and he made six people cut off their Johnson's We're not talking about I think that L Ron Hubbard is worse because he ruined your business Henry He ruined everything that you hold sacred the entertainment industry So much damage you're gonna do that. Of course, it's you know No, I'm saying and I look up to LRH's as a businessman You look directly into L Ron Hubbard's eyes because you're the same size and that is the sole reason why you like him I I do I appreciate his sexual candor. I

Appreciate his sharks. He's got an alligator smile. There's nothing There's again. There's nothing corrected by Scientology. It's not about this It's not about the Scientology and that it's just about being a fucking a go-to guy They ruined they ruined downtown Hollywood. Hollywood has two Scientology buildings You can't avoid them and right in the middle of both of the Scientology buildings is the star for Michael Jackson So you are just surrounded by pedos and people who are trying to steal money You're talking about the backbone and lifeblood of show business. That is true It is inherently filled with criminals. That is the idea and LRH understood that but again

I am I I'm only input into this position because I'm I have ended up Comparing the two of them in my own mind because I like to kind of see how these operate I'm trying to learn how to be a boss is employees now really, okay But one of the people that you are studying about how to be a boss from killed 38 people who had them commit suicide and the other one Forces them to not talk to their family their friends or have any outside communication whatsoever with anyone that's I'm focused on getting high quality content out on the pipes of LPN and that's what's really important here I don't care what your Aunt Martha is doing. I don't care that your uncle Phil's got feet cancer who gives a shit Right, right, but I'm not saying don't talk to your family

Just don't mix it into the office while we're sitting here all trying to figure out if I can get an extra subscription to the farmer's dog Because honestly some of the mush looks pretty good Human-grade farmers dog is you can get food delivered to your door for your dog advertised for them Yes, we advertise for them like UPS is your dog's butler and they show up and then they show the food And I swear to God it is better than 90% of my meat. My meals We're not even being paid for this castle. We're just saying this horse. I just say it and puff it is like I want it But Henry real quick. Oh, I love people up people of countdowns. Let's do the five most nefarious Colt leaders because I agree with you L Ron Hubbard and Apple white compared to um Shinrikyo Jim Jones and

And our other and Warren Jeffs. I think Warren Jeffs is the worst. I Would put David Berg is the worst. Oh children of God. I would put David Berg. I would put Jim Jones I would put Shoka Asahara. Okay. They those are all above them in terms of just being dangerous And there's other cults that we haven't even really Covered because then there's people like the ant hill cult Which apparently was very very deadly the answer cold. Yes We will cover that in a future episode of last podcast on the left, but from my money I mean technically I don't even really belong in Scientology where I really belong if I was a really want to align myself

As I want to be a member of order of the solar temple, right problem is is that I'm too fucking fat boy American To get in there. They like all their every all of these Swiss people are too quiet They had their voices are so are so low right that I would harsh their vibe I could see that but of course they do love the theatrics and I think you would fit right in on that end So at the very least Apple white and L Ron Hubbard are not as bad as Some of the worst cult leaders that we've covered. So at least you would at least you're interested by Two of the better ones when it comes to her bird is a sci-fi Martha Stewart. I Mean it. Well, you didn't go to prison. No, I definitely he's better technically

He didn't fucking have to cop to a rat brah, but I also want to say there's also a weird thing going on We've been hit up quite a bit which is about the I Guess it's going to be Marty the robots first birthday Oh January 25th. What is going on? I we are celebrating the birthday of a it's not even an employee No, it doesn't do anything. No, okay number one, you know, there is a person. Let's call him Barry Barry has been packing up packing produce into bags for 30 years I don't wanna make sure that each one of these butter lettuces get inside of this display case without a bruise Because that's the only way I know I've been alive today

And that is why Barry is the best employee in Costco history They don't even know he's alive. They've never celebrated his birthday as a matter of fact They make a point to make him work double shifts on his birthday because they subconsciously know he might be happy that day The fact is a birthday party is is horrible. It's horrible It's definitely I mean, you know, I do believe that we should give robots a chance, but it's definitely Normalizing the robot as an employee of I think it's giant eagle several other different stores I might be giant eagle. It's giant foods, but of course that's all alive because it's normal-sized food We've talked about it small

What I also don't like about one thing I guess that's what it is Is the thing about Marty is that it calls too much attention to itself. It has the googly eyes Barry who we talked about Knows to stay out of the direct view of the customer because he knows the customer doesn't want to see him He knows the scuttle in between and be unseen like a ninja like a bunraku Shadow puppet. Yes puppeteer where your job is to be a shadow. You are not he dresses in all black He sneaks around there was like a guy. I remember when I used to I did on A wall full wall street. There was a sound engineer who's one of the best in the fucking business He used to wear this black suit great little black gloves

And he had this like gray ponytail pulled back and he was completely bald somehow. He just had a ponytail I love those guys. Yeah, I love I love it and he was going His fingers would move so fast with the little pole a little the little boom pole Yeah, and like you'd see him rotate it really fast death He was a highly skilled. Yes. He wasn't trying to get all of his attention He didn't need a birthday party. No, he didn't need a Christmas present No, all Marty does is beep at the site of spills and makes a human come out from hiding and sweep it up I don't like it whatsoever and also Barry got a boss

Barry got a little Managing boss that is an ATM with wheels But unlike a human boss, you can kill this boss with a screwdriver I suppose you could also kill a human boss with a screwdriver But that's all a human boss with a screwdriver You can kill a human boss with a hammer you kill a human boss by hitting him with your car You can help you know kill a human boss by setting a fire to his home while he's sleeping there with his family Then you get the family family that's 25 extra points a super cold a super cold carrot a frozen pickle

You could use a icicle like I learned from my new Sherlock Holmes game that I've been playing on ps4. Sorry That's a small spoiler. I understand how many ways you can kill a boss But my question is when did when did Marty we talk about this in the? Well, this is a fun debate. Let's talk about when life begins You know a deep dive on that right now life begins at my first bud light But when did Marty? Become alive when when did they say the first birthday began because was it when January 25th? That's when I think it was the first time

He attempted to mate with a female customer that was bent over trying to find a ripe pepper Well, and we've seen some pumped up against it just bumped up behind it You're like Marty is because Marty is getting lost if you thought the software is taking if you thought the Hollywood Me Too Movement was a hot hot topic Wait until the robots wait until the robot finally gets called out for what it's doing I get sent articles all the time because people know my stance and they say see Ben you're right You would not believe how many Instagram messages I get that just say see Ben you are right you see I you but I feel like they are they're stoking a flame or I get many more of the same

We're see like ah see see here. They're renegade. They're they're helping us Henry. They're helping us. Oh my god And now we're not gonna talk about it because it's a little above our pay grade, but they're they're making frog robots Cool. Oh my god. What's bad about it? I'm fine with a little robot frog What are you gonna do with it because then they're gonna be like humans? They're like raising robots in like little dishes and then they're gonna be humans and then they're gonna be given human status They're gonna take your job and they're gonna have sex with your daughter And the next thing you know you're gonna guess who's coming to dinner

It's a robot as long as that robot's got a job you can do everything wants with my daughter That is a good point as long as they're making some income He needs a j.o.b. He needs the ads of the fucking he needs the ads of the households. All right First of all, we're not having children So I'm gonna cut that out before I start getting furious emails congratulating me like Marcus did I Just not I'm not gonna do that But I will say I will allow a robot to be my butler or a gardener Okay, well, I'm fine with being a butler, but I don't know about the gardener stuff

I would treat I would treat both with just as much respect if they were a human Yeah, but you don't necessarily treat everyone you I'm not I treat you so I have so much respect What's your blood pressure right now? I? Got it checked this morning. It was 145 over 78, which is high technically, but this is good for you. I Guess I had it one time. I had it over. I think it was 150 over 110 You're like Archie Bunker You said you guess I thought it would be a good idea for me to wear a little like smartwatch so it would beep Every time my blood pressure goes up, and I was like I just feel like you become so afraid of those beeps

Like you have like some hard business conversation. You just hear beep beep beep. Oh my god Beep beep beep. So Kenra. Are you mad about this? No? No Absolutely not see the beep works calmed you down. All right, so Marty the robot. I'm not celebrating his I'm not celebrating his first birthday. I don't like Marty wait until the robots actually can be intelligent But we spoke about cults up top, and I guess this first story. It's sort of a religious cult story Right, let's just talk about this. This is this is a lot of fun. Oh, I don't think so I don't know if that's the word for it. So this comes from the good I'm gonna use this article from the Guardian. Oh, this is from the Associated Press in Panama City. Yep

repent or die Panama religious sect kills seven in bizarre ritual. I glass. I'm glad they didn't use the word funny ritual or down-to-earth Ritual yeah refreshing ritual anytime seven people are killed in a ritual I think it's safe to say it's a bizarre ritual in the off-the-wall ritual Seven people were killed in a funky. It says bizarre. Let's say slapstick. It was a slapstick ritual in an absolutely a Flavorific religious ritual in a jungle community in Panama and which indigenous residents were rounded up by about 10 lay preachers and tortured beaten Burned and hacked with machetes to make them quote-unquote repent for their sins

Which seems to be very extreme way to do that 10 people were arrested Police freed 14 members of the Nugabe bugle indigenous troops definitely nailed that definitely nailed I think it's inga it's inga bae bugle because they have the two accents on either side We had been bead they've been tied up and beaten with wooden cudgels and bibles On Thursday the local prosecutor Rafael Bolloy. Yes Describe the chilling scene that investigators found when they made their way through the jungle clad hills to the remote in Gabba bugle Indigenous community near the Caribbean coast on Tuesday alerted by three villagers who escaped and made their way to a local hospital for treatment earlier Police were prepared for something bad, but they were still surprised

But what they found at an improvised church at a ranch where a little known a religious sect known as the new light of God was operating And I could not find I could not find Anything else on the new light of God Okay So the new light of God is the church that was massacred by these crazy preachers and my understanding is these preachers thought that this new light Of God was some saw somehow satanic But it doesn't seem like a satanic sect would be named the new light of God No, they were specifically not satanic

They were weird Christian adjacent and apparently they had a vision They said one of them one of the head priests told them that God had given them a message Saying that the message boiled down to making everyone repent or die Now what you have is a situation where you have a group of people that of all they are in a very isolated part of the world They they don't have a lot of connection apparently. It's like you have to climb a mountain and Just to get anywhere near any place that would have like a library or any side of like connection to the rest of the rest of the world Any sort of internet and any sort of news so they're super super isolated They're very isolated and it seems like they had sort of like this little

Colt this church in the middle of the jungle the what has now been known as the new light of God and Things maybe we're going pretty well for a while Right having a nice time things getting really intense, right? Maybe I you know, we know very little but I imagine I might have been a little Over the top maybe Pentecostal a little bit a lot of speaking in tongues No, I'm just gonna say I don't know if the new light of God is the crazy one here They might have just been like we're trying to take things. We're gonna be pretty moderate It's more unitarian come on in if you're down with the with Jesus We got a kick-ass guitar playing priest up there be on in

I do it for Christ But then that one day he wakes up and he's like yeah, I know I've been playing funky jams all day And we have been having a lot of fun rootin and tooting ragging and rolling But today we are cutting off them clitoris is It's about the clitoris is you don't cut Excuse me father Patrick a great song by the way great music, but Yeah, yeah, what was that lyric that you said about the the clitoris is Can you hold that thought someone bring me my cudgels? This is gonna be fun

What he did was is that they started a they basically they flipped the script on a bunch of people And tied them all up and essentially said which I imagine I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this is pretty terrifying of You believe you have been purified by Christ already You know maybe there's been a lot of talk about how we are the new founders of a new church We're restoring the new faith how often do we see this absolutely and then one day the head priest shows up And he says you guys don't believe in God enough He told me last night in a dream after I ate a bunch of what a burger, right? So now I have to I got a fucking drink

I had a dream last night where you guys are all and we're gonna tie you up and until I really believe that you believe in Jesus Christ, we're gonna beat you and we're gonna beat you and we're gonna we're gonna Fucking hack at you with a bunch of machetes. She hits you in the face with the Bible My whole thing is that if you're hitting me with a Bible I am not gonna be as open to Jesus Christ as you'd want me to be you just gotta say that you are though just So I think he's a goat. I think he's better than Brady I don't know unless you got to be spanking me with it You know my goodness, and I want you get a couple of big busty nuns in there. They're doing it all wrong

I think you got one big cock guy with a lot of good muscles on him And you got a bunch of busty nuns in there you get these people flipping for Jesus pretty easily Yeah, that's a good way to do it as a matter of fact There was a little bit of that component when I was growing up We went to a church, of course evangelical and I forget the name of this group They were like called mastodons for God or something. Oh the ones that would rip the phone books You know that kind of shit? Yeah, they would blow up water but like um, not water I forgot what the hell that was called. It's like the water bags or whatever the hell they were those big old rubber bags

They would blow them up bend steel around their necks, and they would say thank you Jesus for giving us this strength But the thing is they worked out every day and took a bunch of steroids So yeah, that's what helped them but steroids God was in the steroids. They were called the power team They were called the power team my older brother He's a big boy my older brother is part of the power team as well, but that's a whole different meeting He's in the lower floor. I believe he's a part of the power bottom team He indeed is a seven foot horse of a man So and he's supposed to be bucking like an anaconda

He really is like an anaconda in that disgusting documentary don't fuck with cats Luca Magnata, by the way, we're gonna talk about that doc a little bit here Maybe and are we gonna talk about that in this episode who knows okay? So when the cops came on the scene so the cops show up as Henry said the three villagers are like hey cops There's a bunch of crap going on over here and I'm sure they find they escaped right they went through all this shit They escaped they got to the police officers. It was just it's like a horror movie It was a nude woman running out of the forest saying they are beating the fuck out of us Yes, so this is according to below is they said he says they were performing and then this is inside the church

This is our these are the ten preachers that invaded this church. They said inside the church They were performing a ritual inside the structure in that ritual There were people being held against their will being mistreated all of these rights were aimed at killing them if they did not repent Their sins there was a naked person a woman Inside the building where investigators found machetes knives and a ritually sacrificed goat So these people were being held hostage in their church being screamed at to repent well Being stripped and beaten and it's just you know How do you even have time to say I repent when you're saying ouch so much?

That's why I feel like there's a lot of there's a lot of flaws there are in their rituals And they went from Saturday to Tuesday. Oh, they're doing this all night long But apparently about about a mile from the church building authorities found a freshly dug grave with the corpses of six children and one adult The dead included five children as young as a year old their mother and a 17 year old female neighbor Okay, there is there is a lot of mayhem going on in there and this is this is one of those Stories of what happens when you're a part of one of these little off-shoot churches Sometimes they they flip from the inside and now you're stuck in the middle of it And you just kind of have to read the room and figure out when do you say hey guys you guys Starbucks run?

You guys want anything from Starbucks and then you get the hell out of this You know Social media and the internet and technology has brought us some woes and some concerns and some anxiety I'm gonna say in this case. They could use a little tech They could use just a little connection with the outside world So they don't get so convinced that their ideas are right that they end up killing five children and a pregnant woman And again that child as young as one year old How do you even if you're one years old first of all?

Original sin. I believe that you're not I believe that you are without sin until you're There's like some date that a lot of religions have before you have to like come to Jesus And if you die before that they're like, ah, you're too young you get in like marty the robot would still get in Even though he's demonic. I think it's 39 Years old. I got one more year. So what they had said here. So I have a little further information This is from the new york times article um Dio mores blanco remember the community who helped police in the rescue said that shortly before the killings two people

Two people in the sect told them what they were doing The reason for committing that kind of sacrifice was that god had anointed them to do all of these anomalies The purpose of all of that was to destroy the community. Why because the community didn't want to believe in god He said that this was a mass exorcism Really and that this idea is that he felt that they all had they didn't want it enough And so he decided to basically beat them all until they wanted it enough I don't they what they call is according to andrew chestnut the professor of religious studies specializing in latin america at virginia commonwealth university who had been sitting by the phone

Because no one has been calling him in a while He said that the cobwebs off the phone. Is it wrong? He's like, what the hell is that like me? They need my expertise Uh, yes an empanada. Well, that is and they're like no, sir. No, please stop describing empanadas he is a He called it a syncretic a syncretic or syncretic cult which was it's an espouses a hodgepodge of beliefs Stitched together with pentecostalism at its core, but also elements of indigenous beliefs and even knew a philosophy It reportedly talked about the importance of the third eye on a now deleted facebook page So they had a facebook page. Oh goodness all of the victims and all of the suspects were members of the same indigenous community

According to ricardo moranda. He's the leader of the nagabi boogal tribe He says It's not the boogal tribe. I don't know a Boogal tribe sounds like a group of people that they met in the smurfs. Oh, yeah, and they eat bugles. Oh, I love bugles Underrated snack semi-autonomous zone. So that's the the bugles. They're in a semi-autonomous zone known as Comarca. They called the sect quote satanic. This is according to moranda He says we demand the immediate eradication of this satanic sect Which violates all the practices of spirituality and coexistence in the holy scriptures

I don't know what this sect possibly could have done to piss anybody off. I really don't like it It doesn't do anything man. It's just does it's just bad. It's just a bad cold. It's a bad cold It sounds like it. So the new light of god church Uh, I guess it no longer exists Because I think they kind of like killed everyone that Belonged to it or maybe it comes back stronger than ever. Maybe this is the beginning of a civil war It's doing a pre-burn Ah, yes, of course. See

Um, isn't that nice. All right. This is a very scary. What a very scary story And I'm really glad that I'm in LA and the only cults I really bump bump against for the most part Just want me to have crystals and drink green juice And but I mean again if they could help me with an audition You can fucking around for a while. Absolutely. Well, maybe some green juice wouldn't hurt either of us Um, so there you go Panama jungle seven killed 14 tortured and Xers I don't think that they should say exorcism ritual because I think it actually gives it too much of like Oh, they're there to help. It's not there to help

It makes it cooler. It makes it a cooler story as far as I'm concerned. I think it's what I like about it Yeah, I mean, I'll be down for an exorcism. I'd buy tickets to watch one from the side Um, that's what they should have done put it on the road. Well, isn't that they did that right? What was they the story that we covered where they used to do the extra systems in public with all the nuns and everything? The devils of lube adult. Yeah, that was very interesting. That was very sexual for them. That was That was prime time That was better than tool time. That was better than anything tim allen that's better than last man standing Watching an exorcism was really difficult or as my mom says every single time I go home

My mom loves last man standing. She loves that fucking show And every time she's talking she puts it on she's like she always asks me Do you watch last man standing than thomas? I'm like, no, no, I don't I you know I mean like I wouldn't go out of my way. I think the last time I saw it. I was in an urgent care and she said Oh, you got to watch it. It's the writers That's who makes it the writers. It's just so Clever man. It's just

It's so funny that we have to love these people because they are our parents But I know I love you know you have to you have they created you Um, but that you don't have to you don't have to love your parents But I will say but it's it they just very smartly position that show For my parents and everyone like them everyone love last man standing They really they really have she also and I believe my parents do as well love young sheldon Big bang theory couldn't couldn't be more pleased with watching sheldon grow up

They're so excited to see the how it began where the humor began And I think bezinga is like a thing in it too. Still it's like described. I have not seen a minute of it I'm sure bezinga is in there somewhere. Maybe if they want to keep that audience I want to keep them happy I literally think luke amagnada is less of a sociopath than young sheldon and old sheldon I wonder I wonder. Well, I'm glad you brought that up. Let's talk about that I just want to quickly talk about how we so we both watch don't fuck with cats the netflix documentary on luke amagnada And it is very interesting. What did you think did you think they did a good job?

Of showing just enough of the animal torture because I was watching and literally I didn't want to watch any more of that Definitely not that I saw but I thought that it's important for you to see how real it is Yeah, for you to see the cats going in and the cats getting sucked up in the bags I think that is important for you to see the the seriousness of that when they showed him playing with the dead cats It reminded me of the he-man toys like when you got the big lion toy that he man used to ride on or whatever like They were just so frozen Yeah, it's bad. It was like. Oh my god. Yeah, it's terrible But I also think that they kind of really played up the facebook sleuths in that word technically they didn't

Didn't help with the investigation. Well, but they were correct and no one listened to them But they then they so that means that technically they didn't Do it they didn't really get the message across but technically I'm happy that there are people out there Investigating these things technically that's the premise of my documentary hail yourself america Where it's like yes, no one listened to me until the subway station, but it's about being there making a statement It's about yourself and I think the online sleuths overall did a good job. Let's just say I'm just going to say the internet sleuths They didn't really nail it to start and then that led to potentially the demise of another person

Which they kind of just yada yada over and I'm like didn't you all cyber bully this person They kind of just said that whatever happened to him was cool because he was being a jerk on the internet And he was I don't think that He was he was not a nice person, but this we're not we're being too vague for good radio Yes, one thing that we had a question though last week because we brought it up a little bit like briefly Was that there was a second pair of hands? Yes in one of the videos That had a snake that was brought in to consume a cat that he shot the whole thing. Yeah, and There was at the very beginning there seemed to be some form of handler

Which he said was the infamous manny the man that luka that's what luka Magnata came out to say that he was at the Biast and he was a prisoner of someone that was making him do these things But it seems like a researcher from cbc's fifth estate the documentary Reported they went and this comes from this. I just found this on studentproblems.com. So I don't know what this is from my Tom Chapman Is this really a student problem? I don't know. I don't know all the issues facing our students right now But with one of the original internet sleuths John Green and cbc's research they seems that a female neighbor has confessed

She was the woman holding the python and said she essentially Uh from what what seems to be conjectured in the most canadian one of the more canadian things about this story Is that she let him borrow her snake? What? No questions asked And my whole thing is that never let anybody borrow a pet. No You never know what they're gonna do with it. If somebody says the words. Hey, can I borrow your dog? Teaching that dog to suck his dick with a bunch of people. Oh my goodness. I'm saying that horrible. You're saying that You can never borrow an animal. You can visit somebody with an animal. Sure

You can have somebody snakes it Like if you want to go someplace and you could snakes it if you're feeling down I could bring puffin to go see you and then maybe puffin could make you happy sure Absolutely by sucking my dick with a bunch of no, no Your blood pressure is going through the roof You're talking about something disgusting again. That's what that means. You're gonna die Uh, but I'm just saying never let anybody borrow your python Your python a lesson that we did not know we had to you should keep it in your

Home. I it's not an out animal unless you're one of those cool people out by like a like Santa Monica pier Right. Yes. They play with their snakes out in public and but obviously there's many conjectured a lot of people There's still a lot of heat here. There's people that straight up believe in luka magnata And they believe that he was manipulated. They I also believe that he is very very Sick, I think he's a sick person. If you listen, he actually has a he released an interview from jail recently Okay, he obviously is talking to himself with farmed questions that he has got out and about again talking about this mani lopez character Which I do not believe is real. I believe none of that is real So who knows who knows?

Interesting. Okay. Well, that answer is a big question that I think everyone had Because they did not answer that in the documentary that is kind of a flaw on the documentarians Honestly, because it's the only question that after the documentary you you kind of go through the list Or like that was crazy and then you're like, but what about that one thing? They probably should have put a button on that in the doc But it's nice that we finally get a little conclusion on that and luka magnata's mother I actually feel bad for her because obviously she's extremely mentally ill and yes, what happens when you raise a demon? It's gotta suck. It's gotta be so weird to know that you are the the creation of something that ends lives

Because technically you've done a horrible job Whatever however you did a bad job. I don't even know if I could say if you did a bad job What do you do when you are you might be mentally ill and then your son is also Of the same stripe and then you kind of create this world where the two of you are just not helping each other And it is it is very scary. There's a documentary about it though. I've seen A bunch of times it was just this one called children of rage And HBO has another one which I brought up many many times Yes

That one second children of rage is truly horrifying If you ever want to be horror it's just scared to death of the eyes of a nine year old Another one I've talked about it. I think a bunch is called the dangerous son, which is on HBO as another one that is very Frightening because absolutely you do it's it's part of the reason why we're not having kids because Natalie and I are both like could I raise a genius that was perfect? Yes, sure one thing a kid that can run on its own that's show to do its own stuff Yeah, I take a Sheldon you want to raise young Sheldon a young Sheldon, but I don't want an older Sheldon You know what I mean? I don't want to see him after that time period

I also believe that a child could be like raised in a boarding school I think you could take a child out and send it to one of those big drafty Victorian homes where they're taught to to mean survival skills and and how to cook and but as but like also like physics Like kind of almost like a Herman Hess Kind of the whatever that glass ball problem thing is where they're doing like weird kind of Professor X mind games in a thing where they're doing like psychic exercises right speeds Yeah, well, I think you and Natalie have a great chance of raising just birthing a genius That is going to happen to all of us. Whatever it is. That's the problem too is that it has to look like her

Frickin better if you're gonna go that looks like you and a boy that looks like her It's oh, you know what everyone's beautiful Wow All right, well this story I just want to talk about because we've talked about crisps before here in the past We talked about how someone just you have one crisp in the back of chris You have again. We have not we this is not a direction that you and I take the show This is a direction that you take the show This was going to be here of the week, but I've decided against it. Uh, Janine Ross. She's 38 years old

She was absolutely shocked and shook when she opened up her bag of crisps and she found and she found a 15 centimeter large Best sweet chili crisp for moriscans Janine said it was hard to get an exact reading as to how long the onion ring bends and twists But she says if it was straightened it would beat the previous british record and so wait a second world title I'm so pissed right now that you just said that so it's not even that big. She's saying if It was straight It would be huge there have been bigger crisps show me the picture

Show me the fucking picture. I will I'm gonna take a screenshot and send it to you right now Because you say oh, what's the big deal? There's been larger crisps But there hasn't been a larger crisp in the wild Previous larger crisps This isn't the fucking serengeti. All right, these things are not coming out of like crisp fields You're not being born there have been larger crisps But you know what henry those were specifically produced to set the record This is a crisp in a wild and it's a sausage shaped crisp and send it to me

I sent I sent you a picture of it Um, and it is just text it to me. I texted it to you. It's in your text right now You're gonna be amazed. I want to see your first reaction when you see a picture. All right. You ready? Yeah ready for this ready? Wow pretty big crisp and it is it is a cocked shape onion cock when you see that is This is so stupid when you see it in the context of janine ross's daughter's hand izzy You can really see how large it is kind of looks like no how big is izzy how old is izzy?

Okay, another screenshot come in your way, buddy because you are about to have your mind blow and now this is not a crime No, it is not but I do find it to be very interesting and we're also a news show So that is disgusting. I apps. I you don't want to hate this picture because this looks like that old joke of white pedophiles Have sex with children because it makes their penises look big in their hands. That is what is that old joke? What are you talking about? I miss the old reddit standard of putting the banana next to it God dammit, Henry. You are ridiculous. You are ridiculous Your old your old polis jokes are just disgusting sentences in any other in any other world. So anyway

A woman has found what she believes to be the world's largest crisp. It measures a whopping 20 centimeters long So congratulations, Jeanine Ross. You've done it. You're not the hero of the week But you are a hero of my heart. You weren't good enough. She was good enough. No, she wasn't she didn't do enough She just found a crisp. She found it. Did they eat it? No, you got to save it To be measured by the world's you got to do Guinness. You got to do work Guinness world record What kind of cockamamie bullshit is that? I would have eaten it. The previous record was 15 centimeters and this is 20 centimeters

So anyway, that is kind of a fun story. It's not a crime Um, except for it looks like the shit. I just took It does it really does. Oh, he's actually bad. Well, let's move on speaking of stories involving Um, well, actually there's really no segue here. There's no yeah stories involving something horrible Although we got several horrible pictures Okay, what do we want? We want a family annihilator or we want something from the courts? I don't know what happened so far in 2020, but people I'm just gonna say take a chill pill Let's do this one Henry speaking of children. Obviously that girl was holding up the large crisp this serial killer's son

Followed in his uh in his father's footsteps a little bit differently Um, evidently there's a serial killer. He's a son of a murderer. He has been arrested after hundreds Of bones belonging to young women are found in his pond in thailand. This is John Wengacy's dream come true But no, it's not he threw him all in the pond like he was fucking kermit the frog Well, but John Wengacy after he ran out of floor space. He threw them all in the lake as well the river. Yeah He's got him in the river. Uh, what is it? So he just threw these women in the pond. I guess so. He's a wealthy property heir A patchy on go with it. He's 40 years old. He's been arrested in Bangkok body of his former girlfriend

Wearing thorn chai at chai at shot. I'm sorry. She was 22 She was found in the she was found in the pond police found hundred hundreds Of more bones believing to be at least From three people. So this guy's father. He was jailed Uh in 1983 for butchering a 15 year old girl So it seems like this kind of sociopathy runs in the family this dude evidently

Uh pictures show the police found the body wrapped in clothes a bed sheet in a black plastic bag The body had been fastened to the bottom of the pond with large metal objects and dumbbells with chains Uh On wisset allegedly made his girlfriend known to friends as kick or keek sleep in a metal casket He was so worried she would leave him Officers have claimed that she was suffocated and then hurled into the pond. Her remains were found January 9th. So do you think That being a serial killer and maybe this can go out to our audience side stories l pot l at gmail.com

Is it genetic? I don't know. I think that the they're They're probably traits that are passed on that make you maybe more likely depending on your circumstances. I'm not quite Certain. I do believe that you Ah, because you look at what's her name Uh btk's daughter right Is now She's not a serial killer, but she wrote a book about about the love of jesus christ Yeah, something going on inside of her brain and then you got uh, I'm trying to think who else had children

Of all of them. John Wayne Gacy. We don't know anything about those kids really I know Ted Bundy's Ted Bundy's daughter sort of came out of the woodwork and was like I'm her granddaughter her granddaughter his granddaughter apparently came out strange thing to brag about So she's on tiktok. So I don't know if that is a sign of mental illness I I don't think so. I think a lot of people like tiktok Oh, it is a sign of mild mental illness though as well. So people enjoy it It's kind of fun out there. I think people like it because they they like to lip sync the songs and they like to I don't know kids got to express themselves. They really do

So authorities they found through a fishing expedition 298 bones the family of a missing 12 year olds who live near the property They believe that she is in the pond as well authorities are planning to drain the pond for their investigation Uh, he has been dubbed by local media the metal casket killer Uh, which of course, it's not a serial killer if we don't have a clever little name for him The police chief said the investigation has found that several women who were involved with the culprit have disappeared They included his friends girl friends and prostitutes Uh, again, the police chief continues. We have found 298 bones in the pond so far but could not clarify

that how many of those bones Uh, were how many humans those bones were from I would assume 298 Um, I I think it's really important for this is one of those definitely don't put all your eggs in one basket Because when it comes down to it, you did a very poor job behind those bodies. You can't just toss them in a pond You know, I gotta put more I'm gonna say this and I don't want to help you in doing this But if you are killing people you need an exit strategy. You need an end game You need to figure out how to get rid of these bodies They're without a body that's very difficult for the pen for them to pin a crime on you and again, I'm trying to try to help you

I'm just trying to say Get rid of the teeth get rid of the hands get rid of the feet get rid of the head That's actually probably best for you to hold on to the head for as long as humanly possible Keep it keep it on your property So it's very difficult for somebody to come and look for it, right? someplace either a deep underground or put it in a kind of like, uh, maybe even a cooler Keep it in a basement. Well, don't do don't do any of that. That's not good stuff And it'll make your house smell all bad and then you're going to go to prison forever because you're a mirror to rare

And that's eventually this smell becomes neutral Not to you it does but to everyone else you're the house that smells like decomposing bodies Everyone's gonna be funny you they're going to burn your house down like your freddy kruger The only people that are coming in that house are getting murdered anyway. Oh my goodness Uh, so there you go. Who knows what's gonna happen here? It looks like this guy has killed a bunch of people Just be careful. This the girlfriend Um had made previous complaints to the cops. No one did anything There's also a beautiful tattoo the remains of the property of the girlfriend

She's pictured above here in this daily mail article. She has a gorgeous back tattoo And that was one of the identifying marks the cops were like that that's her So there you go potential serial killer in Bangkok Son of another murderer That's so crazy the air the acorn didn't fall too far from the tree in that family Oh, here we go Let me tell so I'm gonna well, I'm gonna save this family annihilator story for next week because I want to get into it I'm gonna say this

I'm just here's a fun story. Okay This comes from the Des Moines register. Oh Man regi- man requests trial by combat with Japanese swords to settle dispute with Iowa ex-wife Is by Anna Spoeyer A Kansas man has asked an Iowa court to grant his motion for trial by combat So he can meet his ex-wife and her attorney on the field of battle where he will rend their souls from their Corporal bodies. Okay. Hold on. This is for custody. This is a custody bow. This is just to decide I don't know. I don't know

This is not going to help him get the kids back to be like oh trial by samurai sword This is gotta kill mommy gotta kill mommy to get him. That's how it is. David Oshram 40 of paola Kansas in court documents said that his ex-wife Bridget Oshram was has destroyed him legally He asked the Iowa district court in Shelby County to give him 12 weeks lead time in order to source or forge Katana and a wakizashi swords to this day Trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these united states Ostrom or argues in court records adding that it was used as recently as

1818 in British court. That's a little bit lucifer recently That's 200 years ago So, all right, they've said that apparently it is not about abolished It's not abolished and then uh, they are now fighting each other. They said that he believes that he is attacking his wife's Divorce attorneys absurdity with my own absurdity Ostrom who said he plans to request the same mediation tactic for any other disputes that may arise in court Added that his ex-wife can choose her attorney as a champion or stand and fighter, which is pretty amazing

Um, this is what he told the paper. He said I think I've met mr. Hudson's absurdity I said we just said I've met mr. Hudson's absurdity with my own absurdity if mr If mr. Hudson is willing to do it. I will meet him. I don't think he has the guts to do it Yep, that's true Historically it is said in try and court in court records trial by combat was not always won by way of death But also when a party cries craven yielding to the other Respondent and counsel have proven themselves to be cravens by refusing to answer the call to battle

Thus they should lose this motion by default Ostrom wrote adding that if the other party decided otherwise he wants to proceed with a blunted practice style Of sword play, which I think is very fair I don't know either way the judge didn't really go with this. I'm pretty sure that was dismissed He's lost everything. Yes Uh, Hudson referred to himself as quote a potential combatant as they were sort of laughing at this man's demand Uh for a samurai battle to see who gets custody of the children I'm going to say this the way that the judge and the uh attorney for the ex-wife reacted

They laughed at him in this. Oh, yeah, dude. They're all they're all dead men. Yeah, they're all dead people In this case. I think you have to pretend to take it seriously and then find some legal argument to say Ah, we would We'd love to but we just but technically if it's raining on the thursday that is chosen We have to re-choose our fighting field and this fighting field is not available So unfortunately, you're just gonna have to give me the house and the car What if they just did a ren fair style duel not that's what he's saying That's what he's saying. He's he wanted to do the blunted sword play version

He said that you can opt for that and then one can call cry craven And and admit defeat and that's something he doesn't have to kill them But that is not fun and that's not fair. I think you need to kill them So the uh the lawyer for the ex-wife said uh that this is obviously a potentially life-ending ramifications of a duel Uh that surely outweigh their fight over property tax and custody issues Well, let me ask you this kissle if I I might try this is a brilliant plan. This is very very smart to do So if I were to enter in some form of God knows what crime I will eventually be pinned what they'll pin on me to stop me

We already know it's going to be tax evasion Half of our conversations are about you scheming to hide your money and none of your ideas make sense You're like, what if shoes were money? They can't take your shoes from you. Can they I got some pushback from Natalie When I asked her to put on a fake pregnant belly and go down to the crib It'd be an all filled with good haven't filled the fake pretty all filled with cash. I got some pushback good, but I would say Uh, if I am gonna do that I might do this Kissle, uh, will you be my champion in what sense? You fight as a representative of me. You want me to be your blaster?

You wanted to be you want you want to master what is all what is this entire relationship? It building towards you're the one with high blood pressure. You should fight you got all the anger No, I'll die just in prep I need someone that is going to go and fight for me fight as if it's himself Uh-huh. Well, I tell you what my good my good dear sir. You'll never pay for a bloodlight again in your life I'll be dead No, not if you win What am I even defending you for my crimes?

You want me because you would know you're gonna have you would know me so well You would know me so you know me. You know me. I do. Okay. I'm the same Henry. I've always been I've never changed I'm not changing right. You know me friends for years. Yeah, but in my heart of hearts I didn't mean to like make everybody of getting a tizzy with my crimes And I would never do something that I necessarily felt Would like try to hurt a lot of people. I just you know, I'm just gonna get a hard It is to hide money overseas. You have to pre-meditate. You have to talk to people. You got to figure it all out It's no I do it all on my own again. Keep wallfacer. I like the wallfacers

I came in my own mind to keep a plan within me. I tell no one else I have three contingency I have three contingency plans that no one knows Apparently one of them is me fighting the battles for you and I'm assuming the wallfacers are something to do with Dune and I don't want to go. No, it's not dude. It's three body problem But I I did not bring up dude, but I'm saying so you would not be my champion You would not come to my aid When you receive the the messenger bird I'll have to see I'll figure it out. I'll I'll have you're gonna you're gonna Bernie me. I'm not gonna Bernie you

I'm gonna I'm going to support you. I'm going to support you. So judge Craig Dressmeyer Was not amused. This is what the judge said regarding the idea of a duel to see Uh, who gets custody of the children? This is the judge until the proper procedural steps to initiate a court proceeding are followed This court will take no further action concerning any motion Objection or petition filed by either party at this time. So this man literally get most this man literally broke the court system They're like, we're done Nothing else. We're done. We don't want to talk to you anymore. You're not getting anything You are now essentially a homeless man

Congratulations. You have nothing now. We're going to strip everything from you as fast as humanly possible You know divorce is not easy, but I feel like if you married someone and you loved Why is divorce always so hard if you still don't you people? It's very contentious. Yeah, why do they hate each other so much though? I don't it's hard because because people don't talk You can't have I'm trying to work on these kind of ideas You'll be able to figure out how to have the hard conversations too Which is very difficult when I When that's going off no one's gonna be able but I actually hope that that can actually even help me with some form of sympathy

Yeah, that's very true. Um, okay. Well, I think it's time for hero of the week This hero of the week, you know what? This is not just a hero This is a community and the hero community this week are furries You know people make fun of the furries. They say oh, they're just you know deviance out there doing weird things But in reality, I love them. I honestly I'm pro furry. They gotta go be let them come all over each other I think it's great and and a lot of them. It's not very sexy apparently a lot of the times sometimes It's just about fellowship Absolutely everyone likes to be a raccoon or a fox or a panda bear not everybody not everyone

But some people Do so these furries they were just having a good time. They were drinking that night They were having a nice time a dude named Steven Rodriguez. He's 26 years old. He was in full furry costume He was like I need to go outside and have a smoke as he's out there smoking Which sounds very dangerous for a furry because you could just go up like that I feel a lot of that stuff's very flammable. Yeah, you really should watch it with some of those more official fabrics Absolutely. So maybe stick with your vapes. That might be better Um as he's outside smoking his cigarette risking his own life

He heard a car screech to a halt in the middle of south market street and from the inside came a woman's horrified scream Get out. Get out. Get out. Rodriguez called. That's what she was saying recalled in the that's what she was saying In the car. Rodriguez says it was pretty intense a self-described quote silent observer of furry culture Who traveled from azusa in southern california to and to attend the conventions after hours hotel parties? He says we saw the passenger just wailing on her just full-on punch So rodriguez said this is not going to happen on my watch At that moment a group of about five people still in furry suits from the day's festivities Sprinted over

Restrained the man as he attempted to hit rodriguez who had already run over Among the first on the scene was a pink dinosaur who wrestled the suspect by the head and shoulders Well a massive tail bobbed in his wake. Wow, then a tiger knelt to restrain the man from his torso and um From the torso as a platform healed cowboy watched on Within six minutes within a few minutes san jose police arrived took over for the six people restraining the man Uh, and they said these people are heroes the fur the furries slowly dispersed after giving police their statements rodriguez said Both disgusted by what they had seen but pleased by the way things had worked out

He says it happened very very fast and it was just a horrible thing to see but overall Everyone was happy that we stepped in so thank you furries. You don't mess with furries They've been through it all and if they're dressed up in costume They're basically superheroes I mean, I I wouldn't assume it But I think that it's nice what they did here But I think a good concerted group effort and I think that they are they do seem like a living version Of I want to say some Saturday morning cartoon show. I think that is there needs to be

A furry fighter show There needs to I would be I would see that in a second. I would see that in a second I guess technically there already are a lot of uh, what is it an anamorphic? An anamorphic anamorphic. I know there's the anamorphs Yeah, there's already a lot of stuff out there that I think furries relate to but furries You are this week's hero of the week specifically those Furry heroes who stopped this horrible man from beating this woman and they said no can do sir Yes, I'm dressed as a raccoon

But my friend I am going to bite and scratch you until the cops arrive and detain you So this is why you have to be my champion. Yes, but I I do firmly believe once you are in costume Henry, you know this as an actor once you get in costume You're not the same man as you once were No, you don't know you don't the mask and then you wonder who is who are you? Are you robo the horny fox or are you Dave? Most of the time your days well when you put the head on how long because of course you have your pretty face Is going to hell an adult swim

Gary when you're when you're dressed as Gary, how long does it take you to get into character? Is it when the when the final horn goes on and you're like and now I'm gary bunda? No, I've always been gary bunda. You are always right into the surface. It's always right there. It's always right there All right, let me show let's do some listener emails. All right, so this was a this was a doozy This comes from a I was minded of something when you briefly mentioned the ralions on this week's episode about heaven's gate I am an icu nurse and a patient I had once experienced severe trauma to her genitals And there was talk about her eventually needing clitoral reconstruction

Being curious about how this was done. I researched the topic and came across an organization called clitorade No, it sounds sounding like a very sketchy gatorade knockoff This is actually an organization run by the ralions that they say this I didn't find evidence on that but I will look deeper into that. Okay that funds Clitoral reconstruction usually in cases of female genital mutilation as unfortunately seen in some african cultures According to what I read the alien movement this yes According what I read the ralian movement sees sexual gratification and masturbation as important parts of the human experience So they are funding hospitals in rural africa to perform these surgeries and restore women's sexual function

Which sounds very nice. That's great terms of things that alien cults are known for I figure this is actually pretty positive Honestly, and if you look up clitorade I mean, I'd buy it if it was a drink But it is it is it seems to be they're doing well So sometimes these people, you know, it's the broken clock is is correct two times a day Honestly, uh, that is very good and female genital mutilation is a serious problem That must be thank you kiss for clarifying. I'm really glad that you did that. I'm glad that that is that is our official stance here It's disgusting. It's very sad. I am against it. I am against it

All right, here we go. This comes from this is from I've been asking for some boots on the ground. I really enjoy this. Okay, all right This comes from M This is uh, this is a papa John schnattner update Oh my I used to I used to sell home security systems and one of our installers I worked with worked on his home security system I was informed his house wasn't built like a house but more like a commercial building They had to drill wires through his floors, which were commercial standard concrete. Fuck. Yeah That's like fucking lido too. He also had a large garage under his house

That had a turntable so that he could pull in and out and turn his cars around with the push of a button Cool dope. You're making me a fan Years later. I worked at Papa John's corporate in a tech support center When he was entertaining other business people in suits He'd wear the same red shirt and jeans topped with a large shouldered tweed sports coat The jacket made him look like hip cat from the paul abdull music video except not as cool There was one instance where I was on the phone working and someone behind me was talking extremely loud making it hard for me to Hear my call I turned around and back and I could see a man wearing nylon gym pants with cowboy boots

I'm when I looked up the yes, you know when I look up to tell him to be quiet because I was trying to work I saw it. It was none other than Papa John Stettner And it says him gonna yeah It's important for me to be able to be as limber as possible because I hate the idea of my jeans snagging on my leg hairs because my leg hairs get so stiff when I'm working on the weights I believe it. All right. So this is this blew my mind Papa John's corporate is also home to the presidential limo There is a presidential limo

housed in every state for the president of the united states The one in kentucky just so happens to be at papa john's in the lower level garage. Yes I maybe I hopefully this is not anti. This is not blowing up national security I forget which floor that there's there are secret service offices in the building on all of our desks We had a sheet to yeah to teach us how to deal with bomb or terror threats. Isn't that nice to have to deal with Wow, so the trump limo The presidential limpo currently the trump limo. It's in Papa John's headquarters. You got to get a slice when you're there. It's fucking incredible. All right. Here's another one

There's another update This comes from n and a recent episode of side stories who feature a story about someone who had their arm amputated And was able to bring it home with them I remember you two being baffled at the fact that it was simply given in a red garbage bag Even questioning whether there were nicer options Well, I can tell you as far as I know the red garbage bag is the best and only option you have I work as an spca surgical patient care associate, which essentially a fancy title for operating room janitor I'm the person who cleans the ors after surgeries amongst other things such things include delivering amputated

Lims to the frozen section every limb I've had to deliver has been in one of those red garbage bags And as it goes in the hospital I work in taken to a freezer that looks like a normal albeit outdated Refrigerator as far as I'm aware. There's in any other form of limb receptacle. Just want to let you guys know Thank you so much. I mean if we ever lose an arm, I guess we'll be walking out with a red bag I'll give it to Marcus. You'll have a you know, I'm holding it in my other hand Oh my swab you dog and what's the lighthouse? Have you seen the lighthouse? I have not seen it yet? I've heard I'll be a dog. I am very excited. I've heard that we get quite into the anatomy of a mermaid, which I am

It's great, man. I love it so much fun. Yes, absolutely All right, so here's a little I won one last little weird one and then we'll end Throughout my childhood my family would see classic floating light UFOs bright lights moving too fast to be a plane Hovering strangely bunching together and spreading apart before disappearing. That's like my panties Please were so calm place that eventually we convinced. No, that was me. I had I know that was you and I don't want to think about it They disappear into somewhere and it goes into my ass cave. I know that these are so calm a place that eventually We convinced ourselves that these were just airplanes circling the land at dia. I'm not so convinced anymore

However, the most terrifying thing I've seen was what my sister and I called the light people We had heard stories of people seeing strange lights all over the mountains surrounding horse tooth reservoir around 20 miles from where We lived and this is in the plains of colorado Some people even reported that these lights were actually strange Emotionless people carrying bright lamps just wandering around the mountain side In fact, my sister's criminal justice professor in college reported an encounter with these people where he was a young cop Apparently he was working late at night when a call came in about weird activity up at the lake possibly some illegal overnight camping So he goes up with his partner in his patrol car

And it's parked for only moments when a fucking figure carrying a bright blue lamp emerged from the woods Huh, he said he got out of his car to speak to this person and the person a bald man stared at him with a blank Unblinking look before running back into the woods. What the fuck? So naturally my sister and I decided to go check it out ourselves. We drove up Highest hell at 3 a.m. This is great guys. Don't do this anymore, but it is fun I miss being being like that, you know to up the creep factor and to guarantee the shitting of pens Should we actually see something and sure as shit about 20 minutes after getting to the lake we counted four Moving blinking blue lights across the mountain side. We watched them across the lake

And I'll never forget the way the lights reflected on the water. It was so eerie They move like something or someone was walking with them through the trees Needless to say we were there long enough to count the lights before speeding out of there to this day I still don't know what to make of it creepy ass crazy cult members wandering the mountain a knife or some strange ritual Aliens drugged out illegal campers with matching blue lights and lots of late night wanderlust Someday I'll go back, but until then I'm way too spooked. I love it. And of course, they were super stoned by speeding away They mean 14 Solid mile job man

You're gonna fucking break the fucking sound barrier man. All right everyone. Thank you all so much for listening to this Wigs side stories. You can always email us at side stories LP otl at gmail.com We love hearing from you and this is a reminder. We will be exclusive to spotify February 14th. That's the day of love. It's the day of valentine's day. It's the day of love It's the corporate day of love. It's the corporate. Celebrate it if you want But you know, they're making us do it. They're making us do it. And this is my little recommendation Go out the day before or the day after valentine's day because they jack up their prices on valentine's day Add an apple bees all the way down to your table from farm to table spot in and fuck

On valentine's day, stay in and fuck or come to los angeles after midnight premiere It's gonna be the sunset six come out. Let's come see it. I'm gonna be doing a q&a there This is the after midnight. We're doing a premiere. This is very very excited We'll explain what after midnight is so after midnight we were the horror film that I was in last year And we're getting our wide release. We're gonna full on theatrical release. It's called after midnight Check it out in los angeles. I'll be there running the q&a with the directors hell. Yes We were walking in uh, we just parked in in los angeles We were going to go to a weed store because I stocked up on my vapes for my dry january and I must say

Hey, that has been a lifesaver and this this person comes up He's like, oh, I'm a huge fan of you guys And then he mentioned that he was working on this film after midnight with henry and I said What the hell is this movie all about and then henry told me so check this movie out Because mr. Zabrowski is in a horror film and i'm sure it's what you tittle it and scare the pants off you But put your pants on before you go back outside because that's still a felony I guess so I guess it is in this fucking improper world, but guys remember live your life Like you lost your hand and now you got it in your other hand

I carry my own hat. That's double hand. This is my swab you dog Swab Gotta laugh you gotta laugh like your robber patents and just listen to the willow defo fart And I wonder how many times he farted in that movie. I wonder if it was for real Oh in the lighthouse. There's a lot of farts in it. It's fun. Is there really? Yeah, you should see I can't wait to see it and love love on any day of the year doesn't have to be valentine's day Even there were exclusive to Spotify Love any day of the year

Up to the 13th the 17th the 19th the 21st love on those days too and if you're home alone On the 14th like let's say you don't have a significant other or they died in a fire Or they they lost their their everything that was sexual about them in the war Sure, what I would say you should do is give yourself from those light nice long masturbation sessions or you light the candles You're lubing up the balls. Oh my god. I mean all day. Let it last long. Let's scream All right. Yes. I mean, it doesn't matter valentine's day is a corporate Make them up and I'm sure whatever that day consists

Of for you. It will be a wonderful day. Don't be sad. A very good way of covering all ground. Thank you Um, all right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening and you know what folks never forget. Hail yourselves Hail Satan. Magustalations Oh, I think uh, oh, I have L. Ron Hubbard's ghost on the phone He says if you sign up now for only $500 a month, you can get a small role in young Sheldon. Oh No Wow, this show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors

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