Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Roomba Attack

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a father starts a sex cult at his daughter's college, a man sics his roomba on a neighbor, another Lori Vallow update, AND MORE.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. Side stories. Love your glade. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Side stories.

Yes. Michael. Yes. Well, Michael's my son. Carrying the torch of our movie star legacy. That's it. It's the future. Oh, Michael, I think I'm just about to shuffle off this mortal core.

Michael, tell me, number one, what were Sharon Stone's ass like? Nice. Nice. Very good. I thought so. Number two, Mike can get it done. That's your last word. That's what you want to be your last words.

And he's, he's gone. Welcome to side stories, everyone. Ben Kitzel here hanging out with Henry Zabrowski. This is like, it's just sometimes you hear stories that you're just like, what is going on in the world? So Kurt Douglas passed away, 103 years old. 103 years. You can actually, we're not even going to do the condescending thing of saying 103 years

young. No, no, he had a great life. 103. Good for him. Classic out of all classic actor. Spartacus. Incredibly important to history. Yes.

Just just one of the most iconic actors ever. He could say anything as his last words. Evidently, he just said the catchphrase for the Mike Bloomberg campaign, which is Mike can get it done, which is just like, I just don't know. He said he hadn't been as excited about a presidential nominee since Kennedy, which I honestly think should, it speaks a lot. It speaks a lot about how Mike Bloomberg is just a spring chick to Kurt Douglas. When I think JFK, I think Michael Bloomberg.

Why would you put those two together? Exactly the same. Oh my goodness. Wow. I don't even know. Honestly, they might be very similar in policies. I don't know. I don't think so.

It was quite a different world then, but that just shows you the lifespan of Kurt Douglas. Unbelievable. Wow. From Kennedy. Wait, Michael. Michael before Echo. Yes. Michael.

This is great. I feel the light fading from me. Michael. Take it all, Taco Bell. Those are going to be my last words. Whatever the Taco Bell catchphrase is for that marketing season, it's just going to be those words coming out of my mouth and everyone's going to know I died a happy man. I like your original assessment of that.

He just repeated the last commercial he saw. I think that's what happened. He was 103. Do you remember when they wheeled him out at the Oscars? I am all for celebrating. I love celebrating older people. I actually think as a culture we should celebrate elderly people more. We worship the youth and that is kind of a problem.

I like the idea of celebrating the wisdom of the elderly. I don't know. I think a whole bunch of them can go though. I think there's a whole slate of them that can probably just move on into the afterworld. But I do believe we could hold some of our elderly to a higher esteem. The other thing is with Douglas, Kurt Douglas, he's elderly even for the horrible elderly people that are ruining our country right now. You got your okay boomers out there who are the, they're the, he's the greatest generation.

He is a, he's the greatest generation. That's what they say. I guess so. I don't know. I don't even know what any of this shit means anymore. Mike can get it done. What a world. Mike can get it done.

You thought Mike, you thought he was talking about his laundry. Maybe. Maybe. And of course we talk about all of those fun things that Abling is top at. So keep on supporting that show throughout 2020. What a ride it is going to be. But we have a bunch of stories to get to today. As a matter of fact, do we want to start with this story, Henry, that you brought up about

this university cult that apparently sprung up? I know a little bit of information about this. I'm just sticking my toe in it. I'm just sticking my toe, deep down inside its guts. This comes from the New York Times. This is Sarah Lawrence, parent accused of sex trafficking and abusing students. This comes from Benjamin Weiser. Lawrence V Ray showed up at his daughter's college in a New York City suburb in late

2010, shortly after being released from prison and moved into a dormitory. Soon he started doing therapy sessions with their roommates, convincing them he could help them with their problems. Over time, using threats and coercion, he persuaded the young adults he first met at the school, Sarah Lawrence, to confess to crimes they had not committed and then extorted hundreds of thousands of dollars from them. He eventually compelled some of them to work without pay on his family property in North Carolina.

Technically, that's an internship. This is college. They were digging irrigation ditches, which is as much for liberal arts students. I feel like that's like, I get it, you're leading a cult. You're trying to get some free labor here. I get what you're trying to do. But honestly, how much work are these people who write poetry? How much are they going to get done in the field?

Well, I'm actually impressed. They went out there at all, to be honest. I don't think that would be the deal breaker for any cult. They're all full of enthusiasm. They're all ready for new experiences. All of these cults, every cult we've ever covered, just the mundane amount of work that you have to do. I don't know, you're playing Red Dead Redemption and you've already beat the story

and now all of a sudden you have to start over as a farmer that's a very limited reference for a very small amount of people. It's all the Skyrim shit. Yes, you have to go and learn a career within the game. No. You have to go and do hours of manual labor before you can start fighting dragons. I understand. Okay.

But how did this guy, I just have another question here for you, Henry. How did the dorm, how does a ex-con just enter Sarah Lawrence University? And just be like, I'm here now. Like at some point, don't they have RAs? Don't they have people being like knocking on the doors, be like, who's that old man who has the prison tattoos on his face? I think at Sarah Lawrence, they have Ronan teachers, people that can just roll on to the fucking, the campus and just start teaching people.

And you got to go with it because it's very, very liberal. Okay. So he started, this is not just what he did. He also threatened many with knives and he forced a young woman into prostitution taking nearly everything she made from selling sex to strangers. They said maybe over $500,000, which is a lot of money. He is now being charged in federal indictment in Manhattan with conspiracy, extortion, sex trafficking, forced labor and related charges.

Now he did this for eight years. I'll go, let me do a little bit of a rundown. Yes. So there's a great article about this from the cut, the cut.com. Look up Larry Ray, Sarah Lawrence students. It's called the stolen kids of Sarah Lawrence. I just started doing this cause it's, it's a little bit more complicated too. And we don't have the time here cause we don't normally do a lot of deep dives.

No, we're, this is, this is a, we're in the shallow end here on this show, but you know what's so fun in the shallow end? You can work out, you can get your little noodle, your floating noodle. We're, this is, this is just the relax, like get your stretches in before we go out to dinner. And if you pee in the water here, it can really warm your knees. So anyone, so, so this starts with Talia Ray. Talia Ray was a student at Sarah Lawrence college. She was, they said straight, like she was an intense chick that ran essentially a two floor dorm that was on Sarah Lawrence camp,

was on Sarah Lawrence campus called Slonam Woods nine. Right. It was just this nine room mini dorm. Sarah Lawrence is a very nice college. It's a very pretty, very lush with foliage, a lot of little homes for their most incredibly creative, bright kids to go to. Right. And it's, it's a private college, right? So it's super expensive. Like this is a little expensive. Like, but they, but they try, I think that they are a little bit more liberal with their scholarship policies.

Like they're really trying to get the best and the brightest. And it's just one of those kind of crunchy schools. Okay. So her father basically, so Talia Ray is explaining about how her father is this fucking whistleblower truth teller guy that used to work for the CIA. Like all of these created like a very complicated backstory. Okay. So with talking with the nine roommates she has inside of this little building, she says, Hey, my father needs to come stay with us.

And they all say, cool, whatever you got to do, because this is a very, they are very creative. Right. They're just having a time in there. They, they, you know, one of their big plans is they were going to fill the living room with sand to make it a beach. Right. They're fair creative. It's college. You're supposed to be like this, right? Yeah, but filling a, it's a dorm.

Yeah, you can't, it's just, that's going to be. They don't understand that they can get sued. They don't know that they, that the cleaning costs, they don't understand all that quite yet, but their imaginations are free. Do they add the heroin needles to really make it feel like a South Florida beach? Only if they want it to be full Coney. If they want it, if anyone ever says, if you ever have a roommate says, Hey, we should turn our apartment into Coney Island. Just leave. Oh, you have to go.

You gotta leave. Russians are coming over. It's a, it's a circus side show. And that's on a good day. That's a good day. The circus side shows in town. And so Larry Ray moves into this, this place and he starts cooking them all steak dinners, ordering super expensive, fancy delivery, all these kind of things, kind of winning everybody over. Slowly but surely, working his way into these people's lives is a high nasal Brooklyn accent apparently.

So he would go up to Tally his friends and say stuff like, Start, do you work out? Can you defend yourself? You look really weak. He was a short fat bald man, right? But he used to talk about all of this shit about how he's in the Marine Corps. And he started these kind of big family nights. Okay. They would start watching movies and he cooked dinner for everybody and he'd lecture about the nature of the cosmos at all of these people.

And eventually it got more and more serious. But why? I just don't, you're in college. Everything is meant for your enjoyment, right? That's the whole thing you pay. Well, you're expanding your mind. You're expanding your mind. But the colleges are like, Hey, every night we have some activity, you pay a lot of money.

So the colleges put on shows, you can get some kick ass concerts. Why are they spending their college experience in a living room? I'm assuming full of sand at this point listening to someone who sounds like Joe Pesci without like the connections. Why are they there? These are the exact marks. To be honest, these are the exact type of marks. It's kind of almost perfect and the real in the private sector where cults normally have to work, right? It's very difficult.

You got to really kind of work out your philosophy before you can present it to people. You got to work on a show. Look at Heaven's Gate. Look at what Bonnie Nettles and Marshall Applewhite did. They went and they went off and they wrote their script until the first time they tried to talk to people about it. Everyone called them weirdos or like what's wrong with you. But once they went to go develop it and come back with the ideas all kind of tightly put together, it was more easily to bag followers. This guy just moved into his daughter's dorm room and started doing it.

It reminds me of Friday the 13th because the first area in a Friday the 13th, you know what they didn't have? The soundtrack. And the director said this is horrible. The producer said it was horrible and then the director, he's like well I got something for you. The soundtrack. So I want to follow the story deeper but basically what you find out is that the man was actually born Lawrence Greco in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. He was, he did financial crimes. He was busted for low level financial crimes and then essentially flipping on a bunch of mob dudes that he was working on.

So he's just kind of a full on snitch and then he would also do, he was also informant. He had all this kind of shit but he was very, very low level. But I'm going to go deeper, I will go deeper into the story next week. Okay. But they, all of this shit escalated wildly. But it's a fun ass story to look into. Geez, eight years. So that means that he had at least like two full classes from freshman to senior.

So during the months, so he at first he did live at the school. Eventually he moved operations to an apartment in New York where he brought everybody to. But the way it all started was he was there for probably like eight, nine months. He laid the groundwork for psychological conditioning that would eventually lead these young adults to become unwitting victims of sexual exploitation. So he started moving, sleeping in their rooms with them and picking their boyfriends for them and slowly but surely grooming them sexually as well. But filling them with confidence also with this weird thing because it's kind of like this dad moved in and liked the way most sexual predators groom people. Right. They position themselves as in a place of responsibility and of importance in your life centrally.

And then start earning your trust. Normally they start earning trust, making the dinners. Right. To all these fun things. But then eventually they're dialing it up saying stuff like wouldn't all this be so much more fun if I could see your asshole? This is what that is. So it gets very bad. It gets very bad.

It gets very, very bad. But I will cover this more depth next week. But I just wanted to start this story. This is very, very fucked up. It sounds like it. Man, I just, I can, I guess I can see how a group of people could be susceptible. I just feel like college kids are some of the hardest kids to perform in front of. I went out to do a university show maybe last year or the year before.

I really didn't have anything to tell these kids because I forget how young they all look and they all wear sweatpants but not the cool kind like I wear. Because now I'm getting into my champion sweatsuit phase. But to keep a college student's attention is not easy. Well, it's because when we go and perform, we're a bunch of yuck, yuck clown boys. And so they look at us very differently than when you're coming from a place of vulnerability, trying to understand them. They're coming in from under and connecting to them emotionally, very seriously, very sincerely, right? And we show up going, you know, which is, you know, it gets a type of response. Some people love it. Some people long to be entertained.

Sure. A bunch of clown men whose literally blood will kill them. Our blood is going to kill us one day. Well, that's what happened with Richard Chase, yeah. I know he is, because he suffered from lack of blood. We technically, our blood's too chunky, which is why we will die because of it. And they can see that. They can smell that off of us and they're not ready to trust us. So they're like cancer dogs, but for chunky blood.

But for chunky blood. Okay. But we actually have some college listeners out there. They understand. Of course. They give us a pass. No, I actually think college kids get a bad rap right now because all the attention is on the non-cool ones. But I know for a fact there's a lot of cool college kids out there that just want to get stoned.

Hang on. I tell you what. Speaking of bad rap, we actually got a lot of great emails last week. About the baby boxes and trying to understand. Yes. Let's see what the baby box is. Now this is not a bad rap. This is just all rap.

We should, I wanted, I learned so much about these little suitcases for babies and how important they are. Now let's hear a little bit something on the funkier side of the street. Okay. Explain a little bit more about baby boxes. Okay. If you have a baby and don't know what to do. Baby safe haven can help you choose. When the baby's born and you're feeling all alone.

And the mother's confused because she can't provide her home. Though I can but can't be there. Another option is adoption. But where can I go for help? Bring the baby to the cops or a hospital. It's possible. No strings attached. No questions asked.

If you have a baby and don't know what to do. Baby safe haven can help you choose. Baby safe haven. Baby safe haven. I think it's actually nice. It's pretty, as far as a government sponsored hip hop goes. It's very good. And soon you better watch it.

Most hip hop will be government mandated. Well, as I already see that common is doing all the AI commercials, which kind of breaks my heart just a little bit. But nonetheless, have you seen those commercials for AI? Common, the rapper, the intellectual rapper. Oh yeah, man. He's correct. I know. It's just a little strange to me that he is repping the AI so much because at the same time, it could be used to destroy all of us.

Okay, well, speaking of technology, this story, you know, neighbors, man, Henry, you're about to have home neighbors. You're moving on up in this world. So this is going to be a story. This is a warning for you. This is in Yukon, Oklahoma. In Oklahoma, neighborhood is on edge. These people are tense. Why are they so tense?

Because two neighbors can't get along. They can't get along because they share a fence. So one neighbor who shares a fence with the other neighbor, he decided he was going to take down the fence. And in order to do that, he used his Roomba. So he attacked the fence with a Roomba. Go! It takes Roomba. It takes.

It's so much fun. It's the most adorable way to try to take down a fence. But how did you do that? I don't know if it really worked. His name is John Stafford. He is at the center of this violent spree. So it started with the Roomba and then it escalated with Dookie. So he's trying to take down the fence with the Roomba.

All of a sudden his neighbor is like, what do you do it? Leave my fence alone. Technically, it's our fence. And then he says, no, I will not. And the Roomba attack. And the Roomba is just like, he's not dirty. He can attack him because the Roomba has some rules. So to make him dirty evidently, and this is all speculation,

he reached into his butthole and grabbed a bunch of Dookie and just started throwing it at the guy. I just don't understand. Why did the shit get involved? I don't know. He just did it. He really, he just started throwing poop at the guy. So it was all captured on videotape.

David Baird, he was the other neighbor. He said, I told him, if you break through this fence, I will have to shoot you. Where did this fight come from? Where did it come from? So these are just neighbors. I guarantee you he's accidentally been putting garbage on the wrong side of the street.

Maybe one person has a dog and that's where the poop came from. This is what happens. It's a 12 hour ordeal, what it says here. It turned into a massive standoff. So the cops had it come. He barricaded inside of himself his own home with a gun. The other guy also had a gun. Baird had a gun.

So the guy that tried to knock on the fence, his name was John Stafford. He threw fecal matter from the driveway onto our yard. And so apparently John Stafford called 911 from inside the home. Yes. John Stafford called 911. He took 911 calls from him and all. Here is some dialogue from these 911 calls. This came from John Stafford.

You called 911. What is the location of your emergency? I'd like to report a douche bag. Sir, you would like to report a what? A douche bag. Can you speak like an adult please and tell me what situation you're having? Did you hear me? I'm going to run you guys into the fucking ground.

Okay, have a nice night. That's right. That's one of the calls. So he's inside. He is freaking out. I'm going to assume in Yukon, Oklahoma, everyone is hammered at this point. So the officers surround the house. They're like, you must come outside and surrender yourself.

You are now officially under dukey arrest. And at some point within these 12 hours, he said, all right, I guess I've had enough. That only happened after negotiators eventually released canisters of pepper spray to get him out. People are still trying to figure out why Stafford was so violent. Even the cops have no idea why this guy freaked out, tried to knock down a fence with a Roomba, then it escalated him throwing crap, then it escalated to him with a gun, huddled in his house. And the other guy, but Baird also had a gun saying, I'm prepared to defend my family and do what must be done. It must be done.

It all got escalated to this. You know, in the neighbor's defense, you got a guy who is obviously going Roomba crazy. He's throwing dukey at you. He can't be trusted. And he said, if you break down this fence, I will have to shoot you. He didn't want to. He said, I will have to. He will have to.

And I think it's just great that we're not making Roombas with the same power as construction equipment. Not quite yet. Again, you and I, we differ in many ways. In one way, I think that we're similar, because I'm going to put this, I'm going to include you on this. Wow. Is that I like psychological warfare. Sure. I know that when I do have these neighbors, yes, yes, there will be, there might be moments of tension.

I don't know. I find myself a very peaceful man. Yeah, you do. But that's always the case, isn't it? All I want is my peace. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And sometimes if everybody just understood and went with my peace, we could all have peace.

I will create peace. I will be God Emperor of Los Angeles. Right. Create a peace, a static peace for everyone. But you know, there's people that already live in those homes that you're about to be moving next to that. And maybe they've been there for 20 or 30 years. They sort of have a status quo. Rules have changed.

Yeah, but then, but you just moved in and then you're screaming, the rules have changed. And then all of a sudden they're like, who are... Legally, if I put an outback sign on my gate, there are no rules in there because it's just right, right? Whatever I do, then is advocate. I honestly that that is outback law. I think that's technically, I am exonerated from all investigations. Uh-huh. I, what I say becomes policy.

When I reveal secrets, they become unconfidential. You know what I mean? Because of the no rules, just right faction, the umbrella of that over my home. You're just going to hang a bunch of tacky chain restaurant signs outside of your home so people know that like in here it's always Friday. Um, it don't... It's always Friday. It's always like... It's about really, but putting...

When you say always Friday, that seems like fun and nice. But it's always Friday. That means is that it does not ever change. It does not become fucking Monday ever, not once. Right. Well it seems like it might actually crave a Monday if it's always Friday. Just a... Just kind of a day to relax.

There's never been a Monday here and there never will be because it is always Friday. That's a lot of partying though. But what I would do with my neighbors, obviously, if we have to get to this far, I would like to use words. I'd even use puppets of each other to speak to in therapy style. Like what they do with assaulted and traumatic traumatized children. Where I'd have a puppet of me being like, speak to the puppet of me and I'd give my neighbor a puppet of them to talk back and forth. Or what they start doing is, whenever they leave their work, I'll get to know their whole schedule. Because I work a lot from home.

And then when they leave for whatever it is they got to do, I'll break in their home. But what I'll do is I'll just move all the furniture and shit around. Right. Right. And I'll gangstock them. So you're going to be like Mr. Hand meets B.T.K. Yes. But no.

Nice. No. But nice. But Henry, don't you think that they like where their furniture is located? That's why it's probably been in the same spot since Reagan was in office. I mean, not if I wear my uniform with all my flair on it. Because then I've become a delegate of out backlandia. And now I'm just in this.

There's no rules. It's just right. But no, it's about keeping your neighbors afraid of you. Because they just don't, they want to make sure they, because they, they're not quite sure that I'm the one doing it. But I'll give them winks. Yeah. But I'll invite them to barbecues and stuff. You're going to be living.

Of course they're going to be sure that it's you. You're like Al Bundy meets the neighbor in, in tool time. You know what I'm talking about? Home improvement. Wilson. Wilson. It's Al Bundy meets Wilson. You got Natalie out there like, oh, the very beautiful Katie Segal in, in, you know, obviously.

In what? Married with children. Married with children. She's out there in high heels. That's Natalie's like, I can't wait for her to go. That's what I'm saying. She's going to be doing all of that. Everyone's like, what the hell?

And then it's just this weird guy who is just like, I think I recognize him from a TV show. I think he was on A to Z. Was it A to Z? Is that Stu? A to M. And then you're screaming over there. I think the neighbors are going to know that you're doing whatever is going wrong in the neighborhood. They're going to have a finger right on you.

I am obviously catastrophizing immediately. I'm already driving this up to a Marxist like boiling point. I do believe I will be able to live peaceably with my neighbors. I believe that I will be a part. I will fit into their society. They will all welcome me and I will do my best. I will be gracious to everyone. I will, I will see, I'm going to do the whole thing.

I'm going to go and bring baked goods to each one of my neighbors and introduce myself so they all can all see me. I'm going to be, I'm going to be good. You know, you're not a felon, right? You don't have to go door to door and be like, hello, I'm Henry. No, I just will make them subscribe to the show on Spotify. I would just take your phones like you do. And I just slowly but surely grassroots it around the entire neighborhood. All right.

Well, let's talk about this story. This is, we've been talking a lot about black metal. And certainly when you talk black metal, you got to talk church burning because evidently that is the past time of everyone who loves black metal. And we have to, you are making us, but there is a man who, uh, man, he is just bringing it back as the dude's name is Holden Matthews. And he admits to burning churches to raise his quote black metal profile and judge you by the picture of the mugshot. The guy's got some work to do to be seen as really a hardcore black metal dude. No tats. Doesn't look quite white enough.

He doesn't have the makeup on. He needs a little bit more than just burning churches. And because unfortunately, and I am going to, this is maybe bad to say, but I actually think the easiest part of being a black metal musician would be burning the churches. Anybody can go and burn a church. You know how hard it is to make a beautiful cohesive album, especially in the black metal world. It's incredibly hard, especially melodic black metal, which I was listening to a little bit of this section. I love, I love that type of black metal. I think it's a lot of fun.

And that's a lot harder than just destroying public property. I completely agree. He burned. I think it means you're metal enough. I agree. I don't think he's a very good musician. Well, he'll definitely have a lot of time to practice his guitar, just like Charles Manson did because he is looking at a lot of time in prison. He burned down three Baptist churches in Opalusas area.

It took about 10 days and now he faces, this is a serious penalty, 10 to 70 years. Yeah. In jail. People get really mad about burning down a church. I believe it. Oh, this is also a massive, massive thing here that happened. I didn't realize they were predominantly African-American churches. This dude is white, so that's probably a horrible.

Maybe there was a racial component to it. I'm not sure. There absolutely is. That's the unfortunate part of a lot of that black metal is that it did end up weird having kind of like fascist stripes, weird racist stripes through the middle of it for some fucking reason. I don't know why. Again, you can be evil. Fun evil. Be fun evil.

The makeup's cool. I fucking love all this shit. Wattain. Fucking throw goat blood all over me. I think that's fucking great. I love it. Do what you gotta do. Apparently this guy was really into Varg Vikernis and he would comment on all of his social media posts and, of course, Varg Vikernis.

We know Neo-Nazi now out of prison, we covered him in our black metal Myrder story, but this guy might get. He is going away for a long time. According to Governor John Bell Edwards, he said the attacks in the southern state were, quote, a reminder of a very dark past of intimidation and fear. So we have black metal mixed with, I suppose, a white supremacy angle here. And, yeah, this guy's going to go away for a long ass time. He admitted to posting pictures and videos of the church burnings onto Facebook. So this man literally, no one was injured, thank god, he posted these videos onto Facebook, quote, in an effort to promote himself in the black metal community. His arrest took about two weeks after the first fire broke out.

Is it weird that I feel like it's incredibly appropriate that the burning church footage was on Facebook? And that's kind of where it would go? Yeah, that is where it would go. As we saw with the documentary Don't Fuck with Cats, which is worth watching, although we talked about that already, right? Yes, yes, we did. But yeah, it seems like everyone who ever does anything stupid, criminally or just for fun, they posted on Facebook. So this guy is just dumb enough to get arrested and is now facing 10 to 70 years, probably gets something like 40. And I'm going to say in prison, his black metal music past probably isn't going to help him out too much.

I mean, unless he could help, I guess they do, do they do like music days? Do they have music class in prison? Are they allowed to sing whatever they want, though? It's very structured. It's not just structured, but I think it's more of the social world of the prison. Are they willing to hear you sing black metal? Or are they going to be maddened by it? I think they do a lot of self-policing of what they allow to be sung and played.

I imagine if you had a beautiful voice, like if you have way more of a traditional kind of like R&B, I would go as far as opera-based voice. They would welcome your musical expression inside of prison because it would calm, it would help soothe. Where black metal, even though it is soothing to me, it's kind of, I'm a person that was supposed to have Ritalin as a child and my mom didn't give it to me because she said that she could train me, which is true, which is why she used to tie me to a bed so I could just run. I used to run and do the thing. Kind of like that Michael Myers, that old Mike Myers sketch. Wait. Tire myself out.

Your mom used to tie you to the bed and then you would fake run? Well, yes, and I would get tired out. I'm just going to say, like, this is not even mean. We both have weight issues. We've gone up, we go down, that's what we do. You were not a thin child. Why didn't your mom just make you run? It's because my parents did not understand that I could go into like real training.

I just play like Little League. You know what I mean? That's not real running. That's not real sportsmanship. It's a lot more than being tied to a bed and fake running. Well, it wasn't tied, I had a leash attached to a harness. And I would just push up against it until I fell asleep. But it was mostly just because I was just so out of control when I was very young.

Huh. I just wouldn't say that's just my realities of my life. No, no, no. But that's why high impact things to me are soothing, right? That's why I like to smoke my fucking sativas. That's what actually makes me relaxed. So I don't know. I agree.

I have a very similar sentiment when it comes to speed drugs. Oftentimes they make me relaxed and calm as I'm screaming endlessly into the void. So this guy, Matthew Holden, I guess he's going to go be a white supremacist in prison where he belongs. Anyway, don't, yeah, just do it for the love of the music. No need to burn down anybody's churches. Obviously, I'm not a religious person. Henry has his own philosophies on all that. But I do respect the sanctity. If you just don't burn down churches, don't burn down anything that anyone really cares about.

Just let the problem is that people just go in there. Can't be like, ah, you know, it's just one of those. Leave him alone. We, I think, I think that's a good side stories position to technically be against the church burnings. But I grow, learn to play the bass guitar. Absolutely. Of course, learn to play the bass. Buy from your clay.

Buy from your clay. This story, again, I'm just going to quickly say this little update. If you've not been following the Lori Vallow, Chad Dabell saga that we have been covering lightly on this show, y'all need to just go do that. So Lori Vallow, for those that don't remember, was the mother who fell in love with this dude. And because love is so strong, she had to abandon, or perhaps murder, her seven-year-old and her 17-year-old. Yes, she had two kids, Shajay Vallow, Tylee Ryan. They have been missing since September of 2019.

Lori Vallow joined Chad Dabell's Doomsday Cult, it looks like, that is now also includes Chad Dabell's. He has a collection of other women. Then Lori Vallow's, her brother, that was also a part of it. She died, her brother killed her husband. All of this horseshit, it is spiraling out of control. But it looks like they have found the phone of her younger, the phone of her older child, the 17-year-old, Tylee Ryan, on Lori Vallow when she came back from Hawaii. So that is not speaking well towards her favor these kids.

Really not, and I didn't realize, Chad Dabell, he self-published more than 25 books. They are very esoteric Mormonism. All of this is very intense esoteric Doomsday Mormonism, that they are, he is full up inside of it. And now what they are doing, it doesn't seem like they are doing polygamy, but what they are doing is espousing this belief that anybody that does not believe in their very specific tenet of Doomsday Mormonism, they are kicking out, or they are getting rid of. So essentially, Chad Dabell's wife, she died under quote-unquote mysterious circumstances, no clue what happened to her. And then you have Lori Vallow's husband was shot to death by her brother in a moment where they said was of self-defense,

which also doesn't really make sense. It turns out that Alex Cox, it turns out that her brother, Cox, also went and shot up the home of her niece's husband. She had a niece that also got pulled into this. Her niece's ex-husband, his whole house was shot up. It is just fucking getting wild. This story is very intricate and insane. Yeah, this is according to Annie Cushing, she told this, or Annie Cushing, she told this to an NBC affiliate, KSL, in a Skype interview. She says, and she says, sometimes I think it would be better just to put my kids in a car and go off the side of a cliff.

And I'm going to say if you've got a friend or a relative that just says I want to put my kids in a car and go off the side of a cliff, I don't know, maybe just try, we got to get some therapy in there, maybe warn the kids. They need to phone a friend. They need to phone a friend like it's who wants to be a millionaire, but in this case, who wants to prevent a mother from murdering her children, which is a totally different kind of game show that, dare I say, is more important than getting a million dollars. It looks like they had, they were, they seem to be pretty open about their newfound, very bizarre cultist beliefs. They fell in love with whatever the fuck it is they're talking about. They fell completely in love with it and because Lori Vallow believes that she is a new God.

Right. At what point does self-publishing books become a sign of mental illness? I'm all, I'm all, it always is. Unfortunately, there are, but there are many types of mental illness. There's benign and malign. So it takes a type of crazy to write a book. Look what happened to just Marcusus. Just look at him writing our legit book. Like it does curdle the mind a little bit.

It really does. It's a lot of alone time. So yeah, I think writing does sort of maybe drive you crazy or it's like alien abduction where it's like, do you, are you crazy? And that's why you get abducted by aliens? Or that's why you write a book? Or do you write a book or get abducted by aliens and then you become crazy? Right. Yeah. The old, the old jack from the shining argument, huh?

I don't know. I guess if you self-publish, you're not getting any money for it. You're just sitting there. You're getting the truth out. It's very important. You're getting your truth out. When it comes to Chad Daybell, he is wrong. He is wrong, but it's his truth.

I find, I feel like that is technically the least dangerous part of this because he should be allowed to express himself if that's what he fucking wants to do, write all this bullshit. But when it gets into, hey, let's like eliminate all of these quote unquote extra family members. That's when we hit a problematic area. It's also kind of strange because you think about that insane church, the God hates, you know, you can follow the sentence with the word. You think about that strange group of people. I forget the name of the Phillips. I think the Phillips or something like that, but they have a big family. Their whole thing is we need more people to go protest the funerals of dead soldiers coming here.

These guys. These are, but it's kind of strange though. Isn't it Henry that they wouldn't want to recruit the kids? These guys are quality, not quantity. They want true believers. They don't just want bodies. They got to make new ones. Unfortunately, I'm not saying it's good.

How does he even have time to make a new kid? He's got 25 self published books in like three years. Castle, let's speak some truth here. It takes three minutes for a man to make a child. Every man has the three minutes it would take to put a baby inside of a human being. That's easy. That's the easiest part. All she has to do is literally pull her pants down.

He can squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and he just shoots one up in there in the 24 hours a month that a woman can get pregnant. Scrip. Right. And then you do that a couple of times with a couple of the true believers. That's how you build a strong cult. It's about building a foundation. It reminds me of this story of this other Northern Californian church. Oh, it was the film.

This was happening around a couple. It was the Phelps family. That's what I was thinking of. Fred Phelps. That one. Yes. Yes. But if this story of there's the Bethel church at Northern California.

This is a one that ended up, I became slightly obsessed with, but I didn't really talk about it on the show because it's not news news. It's just incredibly sad. It was just family. This is an old story. Also, Henry. It was all over the holidays. I don't like you saying I became slightly obsessed with, but then you didn't talk about it at all with me or Marcus even off of the show. That just means you're obsessing over something in, in the small room, maybe in the bathroom where Natalie apparently keeps you to do all your work.

That's just where I can work. Henry, just don't obsess by yourself because I don't want to see the steam come out of your ears. I don't want to see you go crazy with a Roomba. No, I know. I know, but you wait. You wait. No. We'll see.

Once I can get into an office space, then the entire neighborhood will be safe. But this couple with a mother by the name of Kaylee, highly Genthal. I'm not sure how to pronounce it. Highly Genthal. They lost their baby. They lost their baby, Olive, right? It was a very, it was a very, very young. I want to say it was less than two years old.

Stopped breathing. Just one of those, like very, very intense. But the church came out and said, we can pray this baby back to life. And they had a series of Instagram posts because this woman was the worship leader and songwriter for Bethel, the Bethel church Bethel music. So they put out a lot of like very highly produced Christian music and watching the prayer sessions. I watched a couple of the prayer sessions of these group of people, like truly, truly believing. Straight up saying, we're going to bring this baby back to life. And it became, it's just highly emotional.

I'm going to spoil it for you. It didn't work. No, it didn't work. Oh, really? They didn't sing the baby back to life. No. No, it's very, very, very sad. So now they're moving on.

But for this moment of time, but it's weird how like they all just kind of just reset the cult. Like they did this whole, they were in the news saying, we're going to bring this baby back to life and made it very, very big point. Saying the power of our faith is going to resurrect this child. They put a lot of money of like spiritual dollars on this. They put a lot on that we are going to make this happen. Right. It didn't happen. And they are doing a fairly successful PR wise spin back out.

What's the spin? Oh, not this one. You know what I mean? Like just straight up like, I guess, you know, we should add. We should add our weedies or like they were really trying to just say like, well, you know, you win this time. God, there was a little bit of that too. But they are, they might try to do something again or they might just actively kill someone and try to bring it back to life, which honestly, I think is more interesting. Just than just this very sad story.

It's not going to happen. It's so sad because obviously they're grieve. They're grieving so sad. It's very, very hard. It's very, very hard. Sorry, this is why I didn't bring up the story because it's very hard. It's very brutal. But imagine if it worked.

It just, it never has ever worked and it's just not going to work. If the baby did come back, you know how much pain it would be in after the body sort of calcifies and like it would not be happy. No, we all saw Pat Cemetery. Yes, we all saw Pat Cemetery. Yes. You never bring it back. It never comes back. It never comes back, right?

There's another fucking great horror movie that's about the same exact story called Dead of Night or Death Dream, I believe it might have been called. That is directed by Bob Clark, the same guy who did a Christmas story. No kidding. Death Dream? It's great. It's about basically a dude goes to Vietnam. They get a letter saying he died, but then he shows back up and he ain't never got it again. No kidding.

That's cool. He's got all of these great recipes for shrimp sandwiches and grilled shrimp and ball shrimp. You got shrimp salad and you got shrimp of potatoes and you got shrimp soup and shrimp salad. So you're telling me that Forrest Gump actually died in Vietnam in the entire second half of that film as a ghost or is a zombie? Wouldn't that be fucking killer? Wouldn't that be awesome? But then they also have a child at the very end, he and Jenny, and so the child is a half a zombie child. Yeah, man. That explains why he could run so long.

He also caught and released that AIDS. Wow. Isn't that amazing? Forrest Gump, the surprises keep on coming with that wonderful film. Mike can get it done. Now I understand why Kurt Douglas just said it on his deathbed because I cannot get the sentence Mike can get it done out of my head. And he should be paying us. And Travis, don't you dare put that as the fucking title of this episode because we can't espouse it.

I don't want to push him to campaign accidentally. All right. Well, do you want to do Hero of the Week? Should we do this? Let's do Hero of the Week. I want to do a quick plug after that last little movie roundup. Great movie I saw called Bliss that is on VOD. I believe it is also on Shudder.

It is great starring my friend Jeremy Gardner that is also in the movie that I'm in. That's coming out February 14th. Some various theaters and VOD called After Midnight. It's coming out this Friday. Oh, what kind of wife are you saying? Check out After Midnight this Friday, February 14th. Maybe bring your loved one on a date. It's Valentine's Day or stay in because as we've talked about, they jack up the prices.

I know, but we don't want to hurt our restaurant industry friends that also depend upon Valentine's Day cashola. So, you know, it's mostly just like find your local hunt. That's it. So, what's your local hunt? I agree with that. All right. Let's do Hero of the Week. So this week's Hero, it's actually, it's many, many heroes and we're talking a lot about children.

I decided to go with this story. Four kids, they decided to go out in a blizzard in rural Alaska, not a great idea. If you're in rural Alaska during a blizzard, stay in, hunker down, enjoy some good videos. Maybe, I don't know, cook shrimp as Henry alluded to before it's gone. Get some shrimp. Get some shrimp, although that will stink up the house. I don't know what to do. Shrimp is not that stinky.

It shouldn't be that stinky if it is. You should look at it. It should be clear. It should be like if it's too cloudy, that's bad. Your shrimp shouldn't be smelling that bad. You should smell fairly, you should smell like the sea, but it should not smell brackish. Why are you always going to deter these things? Remember that?

Yes. Yes. So these kids, they went out, they were just going to have a great time in the blizzard. They range in ages from two to 14. So that is a young, that's a young kid to be bringing out in a blizzard. Why are they out there? They're bored in Alaska. So they were found 20 miles outside of the village, Newton, Newman, Equa.

It's on the Alaska's west coast, and I'm sure once again, I nailed it. But the boys were finally found 20 miles away. But what makes them heroes is they took care of the youngest boy. They dug a foot, they dug a, they dug a foot deep hole in the snow, huddled themselves inside and positioned themselves in the way so that the two year old wouldn't get exposed. The rescuer said they were protecting the baby. And Henry, yes, it makes them the perpetrators of this very stupid thing, but it also means that they protected the baby.

So this is two weeks in a row. I'll get off the kick. They made themselves the hero. They made, they went, they had to become a, they were a villain first. Henry, I am having a hard time finding a lot of heroes because there's not a lot of heroes out there. So yes, they caused the problem and then solved the problem, which is what all of our politicians do. But nonetheless, they're heroes in my mind because the two year old is doing just fine. Alaska state troopers received the report at 625 on Sunday.

They were able to find them fairly quickly after that. This is according to the patrol spokesperson. At least three were appropriately dressed for the weather. There can, there's concern. At least only three of them? What is even happening here? No, no story of how the hell they got there or what the hell was that, what happened? The national weather service warned of the wind gusts 60 miles per hour and wind chill as low as 45 below.

The four children were identified. Christopher Johnson, Frank Johnson, Ethel Camille and Trey Camille, Christopher 14, Frank 8, Ethan 7. No, there's your heroes, Trey 2, Army National Guard helicopters found them. I feel like it. Honestly, the town has an estimated population of 200, so if they would have lost four, that is literally like 2%. Do the math. I do do the math. 2%.

I'm doing it now. No, it would be, Henry, it's 2%. Four is 2% of two because four would be 4% of 100. I've already lost interest. Anyway, they're the hero of the week. They protected a two-year-old. Are they really heroes? That's up for debate.

But you know what? It's my segment and good, they did it. They did it, Henry. I'm glad that they didn't all decide to eat the two-year-old. That would have not made them heroes, now would it? No, we did get one email from a listener that said that he wanted to say thank you. He wanted to rebut the idea that cannibals only eat for the sake of sexual pleasure or psychological curiosity. He says he just wants to do it because he thinks all animals are meat.

Well, is he doing that? That's weird. That even brought that up. It's a whole thing. But is one of our listeners currently eating a person? They want to. Well, I mean, hey, subscribe to Spotify. Apparently, there's this massive signal coming from deep space on a 16-day cycle.

That is fucking very strange. I'm just going to quickly say this because I forgot about the story and I wanted to talk about this. This is one of those weird, fast radio bursts that is coming out from the dead of space every 16.35 days. What does it say? Mike can get it done? Mike can get it done. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He bought space. He used his money to buy into the campaigns and now he's buying space.

Oh, man. Wow. That's very interesting, though. So there's no idea where... It's not coming from Elon Musk's car that he sent up there or anything, is it? Is it still up there? Yeah, it's never coming back. Wow.

It's floating around. Do you remember that song, Space Truckin'? I do. That's cool. It's a good song, man. It's a great song. I love that song, yes. All right, let me do some listener emails. All right.

This one comes from... Oh, I'll quickly say it was a nice guy from Jay who gave a little bit of clarifying of just how somebody possibly could have been inside of a dumpster without hearing the truck coming to get them. Oh, okay. I work for one of the largest waste management companies in New England and I would like to spread the word of garbage. Not all garbage trucks are rear loaders, meaning trash is dumped in the rear. That's what she said. He said this in this email. Okay.

The drivers of front and side load trucks are often unaware of what it's disposed of. In the case of the woman in Burlington, she may not have been in a front load dumpster. The driver would have approached her head on the snow beeping, grabbed the container, and then dumped it, possibly never knowing anybody was in it. This is also the case with side load, though most side load containers only service toters up to 96 gallons. They often fall into the trucks and are pulverized with the driver not knowing it even happened. Please let me know if you have any other questions about disposal and I'll do my best to answer them. Well, thank you so much for being our man on the ground when it comes to all of our sanitation questions. I wonder then if the guy is...

First of all, I guess it should be beeping even if it's going forward. Maybe they should just put the beep on anytime. I don't know, but then wouldn't you see the woman in the garbage if it was... I don't know. I don't know. We don't know if it was a back loader, a side loader, or a front loader. We don't know. I didn't know there were three options.

I've only seen the back loader. We're learning. Yeah. Okay. Now here comes the story. This just made me laugh. So let's see how this goes. You guys did an episode where you were talking about ESP and telepathy.

This is a very, very long time ago. I believe it. Where we were trying to guess what was inside of pictures. We would draw pictures and put them inside envelopes and we were all trying to guess what was inside these pictures. This is back when we used to do, like, not strictly informational where we used to do a lot. This is on last podcast where we used to do, like, more fun things. Remember when we did the psychopath test? I do.

And you got the highest score for the most psychopath of all? I was playing it up a little bit. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Flawed test, you know. It's a flawed test. Interesting. So this reminded me of this time.

So this comes from Kay. I was at work with a handful of coworkers. We were all nose deep in making a model together going on, like, 20 hours straight. I all of a sudden smelled donuts and I got excited. I asked if anyone else had smelled them. No one did and gave me a few weird faces. But a half hour later, the boss's mom came in. The front door is a bell and I could hear her walking around greeting other employees.

She comes straight to the back and says she brought donuts for everyone. Because we have been working so hard and that they were in the break room. This woman doesn't bring donuts. The family's a bunch of tight-walled hard noses. Hence the long making up for long lost time hours. I was so excited about what happened that even though no one else seemed to be moved by it, that I smelled the future. This was 10 years ago and I still tell the story.

I've tried all sorts of magic, spiritual practices and meditation, but still have yet to smell any forthcoming event again. So she smelled donuts but they hadn't arrived yet. Yep. And then they arrived. Smell the future. Wow! All right.

I thought it was fun. No, that's very fun. Yeah, maybe she was having like a donut stroke or something. But that's good for her. Good for her. I'm happy the donut showed up. Give you a fucking donut stroke. Take a look at this fucking bullshit. All right, now this comes from M.

You guys take ubers, right? Take lifts. Yeah, I do lifts. Do ubers. That's just a rhetorical question for the audience. You're not supposed to ever fucking answer that, ever. Oh, okay. So you guys, you guys take ubers, right? You guys take lifts, right?

Yeah, I take a lift or an uber. It's supposed to be a rhetorical fucking question. Ah. Tell me, read this scene. We're good at bits. It was the summer of 2016 and I was interning in South Florida for the summer. I was having a really chill Sunday, drinking with some friends at a beer garden

until my buzzkill of an uber ride. The driver started conversing with me right away and we initially chatted about how our days were, the usual small talk. After a moment of silence, he blurted out, I'm glad you left that bar. It was too loud. I responded, yeah, it'll be nice to chill at home before the work week for the rest of the night.

He then stated, no, I'm glad you left because you shouldn't be around loud noises this month. He continued, this is a bad month to be around loud noises. I'm very worried about all of these people still at the bar. Then asked me if I had anything blue and green in my possession. At this point, I'm thinking he's totally bullshitting me. There's gotta be some kind of punchline. So I light heartedly kept going along with the whole thing.

Yeah, I have a blue and green wallet on me. Why do you ask? I'm sort of laughing uncomfortably at this point. I wish he shouts at me saying, No, this is serious. Please listen. You will need to put this blue and green wallet in the middle of your bed while you're sleeping tonight and keep it on you at all times

this month for your protection. You've been exposed to loud noise. At this point, I've gone silent and I'm continuing to listen to and speak. I'm very worried about all the people at the Olympics in Brazil right now. It is so loud, right? It is so loud there right now with all the people. A lot of people are going to die. I was just speaking with my psychic last week

and she told me that Chinese ghosts are going to be very active this month. They are attracted to loud noises and I'm so afraid of the people that will be killed by them. There will be a lot of death at the Olympics this summer. I miraculously found a way to change the subject to something completely boring. I think we ended up talking about Minnesota. I really have no idea how I managed to change the subject but I was impressed with myself.

As we were nearing my destination, he told me I was one of the nicest passengers he has ever had and as he parked outside of my house, he's asked if he could get a good look at me to photograph what I look like. I was grabbing for the door handle at that point and I said no. He kept persisting that he needs to get a picture of me with his eyes. So he literally turned around and stared at me for five seconds and said, very nice, have a good day. And that was that.

Well, you know, it's just, wow, you never know what kind of truth your Uber driver is going to tell you. What if he's onto something? What if he's onto something? She said, she tried it. She said she put the wallet in her bed to protect herself. And I mean, nothing happened. So yeah, nothing.

She's still alive. She sent in emails. She didn't get killed by any ghosts. So hey, good for her. Maybe he was totally and utterly correct. Why is it when someone says something so insane though? You know, in your brain, you are like, oh, there's no harm if I do it.

But if I don't, man, I could get killed by a bunch of Chinese ghosts. So I'm just going to. I don't know why we are all so gullible. I'm with it. I'm with you. I do the same shit. There'll be a second where I would think like, yeah. All right.

What's it? What would it hurt to try? Sure. That is my least favorite compelling argument, though, that like an evangelical Christian will give you where it's just like, but what if it's right? Like, what if? And it's just like, what do you think?

I don't care. I'm not going to live my life based upon, but what if it's right? Because I don't know. I don't know. So I can't masturbate or eat pork right now. I don't know. What if? Oh, well, the good thing about most of my hobbies,

good thing about the Christian faith is they work their way around all the having to abstain by doing things like fish fry is on Friday. Yes. And let it where you actually eat more than you ever would under the premise that you're suffering. Man, I love a fish fry, though. Nothing wrong with a goddamn Midwest fish fry. You fucking pieces of shit.

I love it. Seriously. Wisconsin fish fries may be the greatest thing that's ever. Oh, you know, you also get a lot of weird responses also. This is a thing from last week. I'm going to a lot of weird Google responses from typing and putting Los Angeles. What are you getting? Just weird like guys named putting teaching personal training like all sorts of weird

shit. Anything but putting. There's not a lot of putting centers. Well, I think that once we get to putting, I think we can say thanks all for listening. We really appreciate it. Again, we will be exclusive to Spotify February 14th. That's this week happened. It's just happening.

So thank you all so much for your support. Thank you all so much for coming along with us on this exciting new journey. All you got to do just download the app and it's all free. Download for free. The same. It's all free. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening.

We're excited to see you all on the road in April in Austin. You can get those tickets in Austin. The comedy mafia has opened up the tickets so we can finally start to sell them. No need to get tickets to the full festival. You can just get a single ticket. Oh, if you want us to go support all the other great comedians or performers feel free, of course, but you do not need to do that. You can just get a ticket to last podcast on the left and we are excited for that tour.

Also, I have dates now for the hail yourself documentary screening and I will maybe I'll do a little promo thing for that so you guys can get that and I'm excited to see everyone. And of course, after midnight, Henry Zabrowski's feature film. Check that out this week. How very, very awesome. Yeah, come and check it out. Come check it out, bro. It's going to be a good week.

We got a lot of shit going on. Live your life like you. You just got you. You're looking at a bowl of pudding that you've made. And I'm trying to find some pistachio pudding. Oh, some potato pudding. You got all nuts in it. I know where you can find it.

I like pistachio fridian. Yeah, I'm about to fucking mix up with my ass. I got it. We got it. Yep. Live every day. You have to. Unfortunately.

I mean, not unfortunately. Fortunately, if you wake up, you got to though. You have to. You know what I mean? You have to live. You got to do stuff that day. So get up and do something with it. Sure.

Start a farm. Just not a cult farm. Just make sure that all of your people working on the farm are there making money. They're legally they're having fun. I'm really not trying to get. I don't want a workhorse that works in like color theory. It's Sarah Lawrence.

I want a 300 pound beefy boy from the Midwest who is volunteering for it. I'm going to put it out there too. We're going to have it. We're also having a massive. We talked to this on the stream. We're going to have a massive belt fight in Lubbock, Texas. And I'm still looking for my champion.

You and Marcus are taking that way too seriously. And I'm concerned. We're going to have a belt fight. A lot of legality that goes with a belt fight. And laugh. Laugh. Every day as you watch your intrepid Roomba named cranky. This is my Roomba cranky.

And he's knocking down your fence. We're looking right into your fucking home. Me out there with my whip. A bullfucking kiddie pool filled with banana pudding. And I, yes, I am making you. I am making you subscribe to Spotify, but it's for your own good neighbor. All right, everyone.

Thank you all for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Magusta lesions. Help me. All right. Put in time with Henry coming soon. Hey, what's up, everyone?

How you doing? Ben Kissel here with Katie Turks. Let you know about kind of fun. It's the LPN wrestling podcast and dare I say it's kind of fun. Bringing you all the news you need to know about wrestling to keep you up to date. Yeah. We cover all sorts of news from across the wrestling industry.

Keep you updated. All the hot goss. All the fun stuff. Everything you need to know. So check out kind of fun on the LPN network. It's kind of fun. Hey, everyone. How you doing?

My name is Ed Larson, and you might remember my big, thick voice from the round table of gentlemen. I got another show on the last podcast network called the brighter side of my co-host is the lovely. Amber Nelson, all the way from South Louisiana and Saudi Arabia. Hasalaamu alaikum, y'all.

We are a cynic's look at optimism. In this world, you need to stay positive. No matter what, life can give you half a bag of chips. That's okay. You don't need to be in a full bag anyway. Our show is going Spotify exclusive on Valentine's Day. That's February 14th for everyone that doesn't have a woman that makes them buy them stuff.

Or if you're alone and you don't want to feel like you're alone, listen to our melodious voices. New releases and the entire catalog for our show will be on Spotify. Spotify accounts are free and easy to create, and all of our episodes are already there. You can download the episodes with a free account. Just do it already, babe.

Follow the brighter side on Spotify to get new episodes as soon as they come out. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.