Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Russia's Werewolf Killer

Episode Date: December 13, 2018

Ben and Henry get you caught up on this week's latest true crime news: The Angarsk Maniac, a basketball card featuring the Menendez brothers, and more.

Hail yourselves, everyone! There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left. Side stories! Love your glids. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes. I finally got to watch the documentary that came out this year with George Knapp

and Jeremy Corbell called Hunt for the Skinwalker about Skinwalker Ranch. Have you read anything into Skinwalker Ranch? No, I haven't heard that. I mean, I know it's creepy stuff. It is creepy stuff. I mean, obviously, I've read into it. You know, and I read Hunt for the Skinwalker when it first came out, but now watching the doc, it's nice to see

what its Skinwalker Ranch actually looks like, and it's pretty fucking creepy. And I really know that Bigelow, Robert Bigelow, the UFO bajillionaire, like the guy basically who was an aerospace millionaire, who dumped a bunch of money into UFO research, like our patron saint,

the patron saint of rich nerds. So he could pay, we could do six flies on us with him. We got to get to him. We got to get to him, and I think a good way to do it, Kissel, honestly, is that if you dress up as a sexy woman and arrive on the doorstep of Robert Bigelow,

and be like, huh, you doing big boy and looking for someone to kick me to six flakes, and you'll be like, you're the tallest sack of woman I've ever seen in my life. And I want to see just how long your pussy grows. Well, you'll be very impressed.

Alright, this is Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben Kissel. We got Henry Zabrowski over there. Yeah. In much nicer weather in Los Angeles, but we're not talking about the weather today. We have a lot of other things to get to, including the air-dair. I don't want to talk about the weather, but I will say it was really cold yesterday. I did have to put on a hoodie.

Oh. I did have to go. I mean, because Wendy has to walk in her jacket. I know. Because she legitimately will not exit the house if it's not 65 degrees or hotter. Isn't that... Your struggle is real.

It is. Alright, we got a bunch of news to get to today. We could, man, or we could just sit around and talk about the changes of our bodies or what's happening as we get older. We could talk about that. We could talk about... We could call it old man stoop hour.

It's getting harder to lose weight is what I'm finding. I feel like it's your lifestyle. Yeah, if you don't work out or anything. You're not even attempting to lose weight. No, you used to be able to just lose weight. It would just go off your body and now it just stays on your body

and I don't know what the heck is going on. You were addicted to uppers and drinking vodka and seven up. That's all you drink. You're a soda guy. Alright. You're a soda guy. That's a mixer. Yeah, I love these. I love the sodas.

Anyway, you got to start drinking seltzer. I know what I'm supposed to be doing. Because you get the bubbles, you get the cut. You don't listen to me. I sit and I talk and I advise and I advise and I advise and you never respond. You never change. Your only advice is more bubbles.

You're just like put more bubbles in it. More bubbles. I'm just saying you can sort of convince yourself that water is beer if there's bubbles in it. Well, that's very true. Okay, let's start off with this story. We're going all the way to Russia.

Oh, yeah. This story is crazy, man. There is something about Russian serial killers. We'll have to cover this dude or another one in the future. They are special. Especially as more information comes out

about this more recent guy. We have a Russian serial killer policeman. He's found guilty of 56 more murders which take his count up to, I believe, it is 78 murders. Yes, in 2015 he was convicted of killing

22 women. He is now confessed to 56. As Henry said, he was a Siberian cop. He raped and killed women after offering them late night rides. He was found guilty of dozens more murders this week. So he is now...

His name is Mikhail Popkov. He's also known as the very brief Anzion by Russian media. Now, he got a pretty cool... I gotta say, as far as monikers go, as far as nicknames go for serial killers, the werewolf,

that's not the worst nickname I've ever heard. I'll put it this way. It seems to be the more brutal your crimes are, the cooler your nickname, which is unfortunate for society. Because then you're shooting for the nickname. You know what I mean? You want to be called the Grim Reaper. You want to have a good one.

It can't just be like, I don't know, like the the Doughboy of Wilmington, and then all your job is that you just kill people with dough, like you surround their heads with dough at night, and it turns out it's Paul Hollywood, you know, flying into the United States from the UK.

But no, the Doughboy... That would be terrible shit to be called the werewolf. Absolutely. And so his job was, he was a cop and he used to drive around with his cop car also, because he became, I believe he stopped, he retired

in, I want to say, 1998. Whatever it is, if a cop is off duty, they're just a citizen. So just don't even bother, you don't get in their car, don't do anything. Just treat a cop like you would anybody else and say, I'm fine officer, I'll walk.

But it's very difficult, because he had the car, I could, you could see why, you could see why people trusted them, and a part of what he would do is he would target women alone at night, specifically either sex workers or anyone who looked like they were drunk, because in his terms his job was to

cleanse people who lived a debauched lifestyle. Okay, so now what is this called? What is that trope called with serial killers who think they're doing it for the greater good? He's a missionary killer. Which unfortunately is the most boring sex style, but it's one of the more

interesting serial killer types. Yeah, and depending on who you're with it can also be a very romantic position sexually. I'd just like to see what's happening. Absolutely. He was also known as the Engarsk maniac, because he was

an off-duty officer around his city of Engarsk, it's near Erkskuk, it's about Erkskuk, it's about 600 miles east of Moscow, so he got the werewolf and the Engarsk maniac, so how does he do it?

Erkskuk is actually named after the man who founded the town, is that they actually rolled them into werewell and curse is the sound you make when you're drunk and trying to get yourself out of a wheelbarrow. I think I've heard that before. It's an incredibly important risk placement, as well.

In terms of if you're trying to block your way in and out of Russia, because that's where Erkskuk's I believe in risk, it has the land bridge over to Alaska if you want to attack North America, which is a really good thing to have in risk. That's where you kind of want to build up your forces.

It's like building up your forces in Southeast Asia if you're holding sort of like an Australia rain, you build your forces, build your forces in Australia, then you move your infantry up through Asia. You know what, Henry? I'd love to play a game of risk with you. Oh yeah, I love the game. Are you being fucking sarcastic?

No. You fucking No, I like risk. Risk is good. I used to play it on my PC when I was growing up. Yeah, but how big are you to those pieces? You know what I mean? You can't even find them. They just get stuck in your dimples. The question is, how did you do it? How did this dude

how did Popkov, this maniac what did he use to kill these people? Well, not pleasant weaponry to say the least. Come on, Gissel. Yes, obviously not. Well, I mean honestly like when you're like, when you think about Berkowitz, you're like a gun. Okay, I can think about this.

This dude used a hammer and an axe and then he would dump the bodies in the woods at the side of the road. And he also dumped bodies in the cemetery. But the thing is, you still got to take the body out of the cemetery and then you got to bring him back to the cemetery. He's not making anyone's lives easier.

You're making undertakers happy when you just drop fresh corpses into the cemetery because they love to work. It technically is a job greater but he is he would lull them into the car they would, he would lull them to the conversation then he'd either hit them with a hammer or immediately start stabbing them. And what he did know is that eventually

when they were originally searching for Popkov what they found, what they found was that it was somebody who was very good at cleaning off a body. So they suspected for a while that it was a police officer. Somebody who knew how people do knew how to people investigate crimes. So what he did was essentially do it in a way

really random and drop it off, drop them off into a far from where they were murder, which was on the side of the car. And then you're also controlling the crime scene, right? Because your car is the crime scene. So as long as they don't get to the car which eventually they did

they eventually did because they found them doing random DNA tests. Yes, they found him while they were doing random DNA tests. Because they found the, they basically went through everybody that drove the make of car that matched tracks that were found in the crime scene. Okay, so now

he is 54 years old. He appeared in court again, as we said earlier, this past week and he is going to go to a Super Max prison. The Super Max prison is nicknamed the Black Dolphin. No. Which I don't know why it's called the Black Dolphin.

But it sounds horrifying. Have you looked into the Black Dolphin at all? No, but he is also accused of, again, as we mentioned earlier, raping at least 11 women. And we know what dolphins do. So perhaps it's, perhaps it's something to do with the

horrors that occur behind prison walls. Have you not seen this? It was actually, I believe it was in, it was in lockdown at some point. It is one of the most brutal prisons in the world. It's called Black Dolphin because it was it had a prisoner constructed

sculpture of a Black Dolphin in front of it, which I guess is nice to give them something to do. But the prison houses, according to Wikipedia, the prison houses approximately 700 of the most serious criminals in Russia. Now what they do, man, this is fucking rough.

Inmates are kept isolated and housed in cells that have a set of three steel doors. For 90 minutes a day, they are transported to a large cage for exercise. During this time, cells are searched for contraband. Prisoners at Black Dolphin are then kept under

24-hour supervision. They are not permitted to rest or sit on their bunks from the time they are awoken until it is time to sleep again. A span of 16 hours. Every 15 minutes a guard makes rounds to ensure inmates are complying with the rules.

The prisoners are fed soup four times a day so that's good for you. You love soup? I love a good soup, especially in a cold Russian winter, sure. I feel like it's not good soup, it's not it's not gonna be no hail and hardy. I mean honestly at this point it does sound better than the American Supermax

in American Supermax, you don't get soup you get that loaf, you get the prison loaf, which is all the food combined into one disgusting thing, one nasty thing. Yeah, but that's how it comes out. That's how it comes out. In order to speak with any guard, you have to refer to them and the words yes sir

but in Russian it directly translates to it is so citizen chief which is intense, that's very intense I'm gonna start saying that to people. But the big thing was that they use blindfolds when they bring the prisoners in so they can't even map out the prison and if they're transferring them between cells they blindfold them and then

they cart them back and forth in a stress position where they handcuffed their backs behind their backs and then lift up the hands above their hips so they're forced to bend forward so it's very difficult for them to escape. It is not a comfortable situation

to say the least. Prosecutors they described Popkov as having quote a pathological attraction to killing people but that's not good. If only it was a pathological attraction to baked goods. I know he would be great. And then he would crush. He would crush cooking channel.

They need a Russian. He could be the Martha Stewart of Russia but instead he's just another Russian serial killer. The prosecutors also say he is quote a homicidal. He has homicidal mania with sadistic elements but he was ruled sane enough to stand

trial. I mean I would assume that he is sane enough. He wasn't a fucking cop for at least six years while these murders were happening. But they also do a thing in Russia. Man a fucking court system that's very entertaining because they keep them in a big cage. Oh yeah. And so they just go

like. No, no, no, no. God I would love to do it. Just be in there for weed charges and it's just me going like well man well like run around the cages and shit. It'd be kind of fun like am I a fucking zebra dude? Am I a fucking zebra dude? I think they might just shoot you on the spot.

They're allowed to. Do you think I'm going to make it in Black Dolphin? Honestly. I have to throw up pants because they don't find them comfortable. Sure. You mean like I have to I'm wearing I'm switching to all athleisure. Oh that's you're going to do that.

Because in LA it's technically high class. I can have elastic on in LA because they consider it chill. I know what the wealthy people have been trying to pass off as high class now for some time. They just want to wear sweat pants like every person in the Midwest but they want to feel like they're superior. Give in. Kissell give in.

I like the Midwest look. You're not wearing them. No all of my pants are stretch pants. They all stretch. Those Adidas gear are really nice. The Adidas pants those track pants are really nice. Alright. Well investigators say they uncover the remains of some victims

of the bodies of course that Popkov killed and as well as finding murder weapons including axes, screwdrivers and knives. So the guy I mean it's pretty disgusting. That's how they committed him of the 56 more crimes.

They realized they went through and they were finding corroborating evidence to the things he was saying. He was directing them to bodies so he went and they found bodies they found weapons. There was one that he didn't find. He also killed one police officer randomly. It was the last person that he killed. He killed a drunk police officer that I guess

just out of pure jealousy or gamesmanship. I'm not really sure. If you're in Russia and if one of your pet peeves is drunkenness that's not the place to be. Holy shit. It's just under Ireland. I mean you do not want to be in Russia if you hate alcoholics.

You want to go to Utah. Being in America and hating people with big dreams. That's right. So speaking of big dreams I guess again because apparently he had them. He wanted to be the most notorious serial killer in Russian history

and it looks like he has pulled that off. So the number of killings for which he has been convicted exceeds the total of several notorious murderers in Russia and the ex-Soviet Union. Those murderers include Alexander Peshushkin

aka the chess board killer which is a great, great story. Cool. Maybe we could cover that one. He killed 48 mostly older women and he would meet them in a park in Moscow probably the saddest place in the world. He aimed to kill one person for each

of these 64 squares on a chess board which is why he's the chess board killer. Yeah man, it's simple. I mean honestly you're turning into Mysterio. That's a great super villain. It's so crazy. And then of course Andre Ciccatello who we covered

you can go and listen to our old episodes on Ciccatello. He was convicted of killing 52. So this dude we had another I don't want to say best. What's another word? Travis isn't speaking too much today because he's super sick. I'm in sicko mode. Heavy hitter.

I guess he is a new heavy hitter. Look at this. You know what else saying, because a lot of people were saying that we weren't going to get new serial killers in this digital age because it was difficult to catch them because we're so ever-present in the social media but we got Samuel Little that may possibly top the charts

of American serial killers in terms of numbers and we got a new Russian guy. We may be heading into a nude. I don't want to say Golden Era because it's very frightening but it seems like we're in a place where we're getting a lot of new serial killers coming out of the woodwork and that's allowing last podcast to continue deep into the 2020s.

In a sense it is the Golden Era of finding out how many people these folks have killed and you know they're already arrested so it's not as bad as I don't think that you can be a new I don't think you could pull off

79 murders today. I still don't think you could do it. He just did. No, he didn't just do it. He did it in 1990. From 1992 to 2012. Yeah, but in Russia 2012 it's not American 2012.

They got like, I don't want to malign and disparage the Russian people but their technology isn't exactly... I've seen a lot of dash cam footage. But the dash cam footage is actually pretty clear. It's pretty good but that's kind of where you're at dash cam. Yeah, if you've seen the movie it's called The Road Movie

it's a Russian dash cam movie and it's all about just Russians Grand Theft Auto style killing people on the streets. That's awesome. That's how you can kill 76 people in Russia. That's awesome. Well this dude, so Popgolf... I mean that's bad. It's very bad.

Popgolf is apparently he's boasting to salamates and he's bragging that he has killed more people than Chickatello. So this guy I guess he wanted to come clean about the murders. Obviously the DNA evidence helped but he's

proud of himself I suppose. It is very interesting because we have another social media very cognizant murder that happened in Russia which with the... I cannot even pronounce it if I wanted to the DPRS maniacs, which I believe was also

known as... was it Three Kids One Hammer? I'm looking this up. It was Three Kids One Hammer. It was directly after they named after a sort of a horrible parody of Two Girls One Cup where they were going to fly film themselves murdering people with a hammer

and then they were going to try to sell the videos on the black market. Jeez. Well how'd they do? Great. Great. Oh my god. They did great. No, they didn't do great. They were fucking turned in in all that part. Good. Well let's stay with the world of technology.

I keep trying to help you by giving you old tidbits. I told you I told you things you can eat. I told you things you can wear and I'm hoping I can pull you out of this come into the athleisure lifestyle. It's how basketball players dress. I know but I'm not a basketball player. They also work out all the time and they sweat.

No, Shaq was fat. Well Shaq got fat. I love fat Shaq. I love fat Charles Barkley too. My favorite. Alright, well let's stay in the world of the internet. But let's come back to America. Specifically Colorado legalized

it and they are making a lot of money. Be careful in Colorado though folks. I had a one of those drinks. It was like an orange drink. Each ounce was 100 milligrams. You got to read the label. Yeah, but I don't why would they even put, why would they put

1200 milligrams of weed in something you're supposed to drink. 12 ounces is not a lot. Cause it's fun. Oh my god. This is back, this is back before. You're talking about, that is more ancient weed technology. Now it is way more spaced out in LA. It's so fucking pussy.

They really make it so difficult to get the stuff that'll blind you in LA. Honestly, you have to really mash a bunch of stuff together to fucking ruin your life. Well, please, please don't. You as a blind man will just be it'll be. Where am I? Where am I?

Who will feed me? Are you are you a spy? Are you a spy? So you refuse to give up your driver's license just still driving all around Los Angeles just screaming. I just drive until they honk. So in Brighton, Colorado a Colorado man

who told police he shot a teenager this is the story that we're getting to here in Colorado a Colorado man who told police he shot a teenager in the head and this is where the story becomes a little strange after she hired him to kill her via a Craigslist ad. He pleaded

guilty to second-degree murder and this was put last week Monday as part of a plea agreement with the prosecutors the dude's name is Joseph Lopez who had been charged with a first-degree murder now again the plea deal says the second-degree murder to avoid a possible life sentence of killing

19 year old Natalie Ballinger. So this story is pretty crazy he does look like a man who crossed the lines from Reddit over to Craigslist that would answer the ad to kill a woman. Unfortunately he has got the wispiest

rat-like van dyke I have ever seen in my life. It is unfortunate. I'm just looking at the face of Reddit atheism as I'm sitting here. This is a picture of it. It's his face. So he shot he shot Natalie Ballinger I guess in the head and then the body

was found in a wooded area just north of Denver in late December one day after she was reported missing. This is according to Adams County District Judge Roberto Ramirez Batting for Roberto Ramirez He's sent to Lopez

Lopez is a younger dude at 23 years old and he's going to serve a maximum of 48 years in prison so that's a maximum of 48 years so he'll probably end up getting out in around 20 to 25 I would assume. Well he was having a lot of fun

browsing the women seeking men section of Craigslist which may as well just be called booby trap world. I mean honestly because there was no reason for a woman to go to Craigslist to seek a man you just have to leave your house You have a better chance of finding

a woman on Ashley Madison by the way that site is full of all men than finding a woman on Craigslist. You know it's actually a pretty good get honestly if you were I would actually work at sugardaddies.com You just have to have cash money. Well I can't yeah I mean no sugar daddy wants to hire

me. No I'm not saying you Can I solicit a sugar daddy is that what you're saying? No we're talking about it you're talking about we're looking for sponsors. Oh I see That's called our ad campaign That's our sugar daddy. This is according to court records Lopez told police that he responded to a Craigslist ad titled

quote I want to put a hit on myself I don't this is it's very bizarre to me this it does have sort of a dumber shade of Dr. Kvorkian there's a little something Kvorkian here I guess why Well according to him

According to him a Dr. Kvorkian you know what's the key to Dr. Kvorkian? Doctor. You got a doctor Doctor you went to school for a bunch of years He's going against the Hippocratic oath is what I heard. But I heard also them people were begging for it and sometimes you got to give them what they want. Except for Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson didn't know what he wanted Well who knows what Michael Jackson wanted So he just wanted to dance. All he wanted to do was make his father smile. Yes and that did not. I don't think that ever happened and by the way the only thing that Marcus and Henry refused to believe in this world Joe Jackson

He made Michael Jackson a eunuch He when he called that It's just so good. It's so bizarre your obsession with this He castrated. Joe Jackson castrated Michael Jackson. That's what happened. Absolutely bizarre

Well it happened because that's what the family says happened and you're not going to believe I want to see the autopsy reports I want to see a picture of his and no dick Well I don't think he went full heavens gate I think he had something going on But his father castrated him so he could keep that

high pitch voice Hey there people. Henry Zabrowski here for Trollville The web series created by my beautiful wife Natalie Jean Sina Ghaznavi and myself It is the story of Toby McGuire A sweet young troll that is forced to reckon with the consequences

Internet actions It is for rent on Vimeo Slash On Demand Slash Trollville It is a work of love A work of sweat and hate We have put our bullshit into it We put our own money and it's completely independent production Like all of the things here at Last Podcast Network

And I hope you could support it Hail Satan His prosecutor said Lopez should have called 911 or found help for Bollinger after he saw the ad Bollinger And Lopez texted each other Dozens of times before he picked her up

And they drove around for an extended period Before he killed her He didn't respond as a human being That was according to Chief Deputy District Attorney Ali Baber Who also says he responded as a Predator when it comes to the Craigslist ad

So I guess I believe so because he clicked on it thinking about I'm gonna say one look at this guy Is that to be completely frank I think his first idea Is This girl so sad maybe she'll sleep with me I mean like there's almost like a thing

Where it's like I'll get her now While she wants to die I could get one in there Real quick because She is debased I feel like that's what his thinking was Maybe something was going wrong Take a look at the autopsy of this dude

I don't think he's gonna do well in prison He kind of looks like a Jack Black character From Nacho Libre I think he's probably gonna get pummeled On a regular basis in many Different ways which of course is never good But Bollinger's family Is extremely pissed off

About the plea deal They say it's a spit in my family's face That's according to Ted Bollinger He says there's no justice in this And he argued that the court didn't make his family Aware of the pending plea deal As soon as it should have So people aren't happy that he's

Gonna be getting out within his lifetime Because again he's only 23 Serving a maximum of 48 I know but they fucking It's all this horseshit I mean he's a waste of space I don't think he's gonna do well in jail I don't think it even matters

His life is over as it is He said that she wanted to get over it as quick as possible And she wouldn't accept being talked down About it as what she said Interesting I would like to hear If this did go to trial She does have a defense right Well she solicited

Obviously I disagree with it But that would be the defense And I think it would have been really interesting to hear A lawyer go in there and talk about it I can't that would be me as the prosecutor Going like shut up shut up I feel that you are I mean I don't know I feel like you have a lot of options here

Like don't do it Like a big option is like don't do it I'm just saying sometimes defense attorneys Hit a lucky Hit a lucky streak You know and they're able to convince A jury that well this was nothing But more than assisted suicide

And perhaps there's a juror Who doesn't think there's anything wrong with that I think it would have been interesting to see the trial That's all I mean sure I mean I always like the dirty details That's why we do our fucking show But a part of it is that when you see him do it It's just that thing you look at

It's like you could just don't ask somebody to kill him If you're gonna ask somebody to kill you I'd say like Shoot for the top Try to get it to be Keanu Reeve's stress is John Wick Oh that would be awesome That'd be pretty sweet but you know how you actually Just get him to kill you naturally

You just show up and you kill his dog Oh my god don't even say it I don't want it to be like this Alright well let's move on What story do you want to do next Henry There's a fun ass story that I've been sent Many many times but I like to go into it Because it's kind of funny

Menendez brothers appearing In the background of Former Nick's point guard Mark Jackson's Hoopsguard And if you see this picture it is absolutely Fantastic and they did the They are there It works for the timeline

The Menendez family murder Happened on August 20th, 1989 The brothers were apprehended in March Of 1990 There's a gap there And it seems that the picture Must have been taken at MSG In 1989 to 1990

Because it was supposed to come out for 1990 To 1991 And it checks out because they spend A lot of their parents money and a part of what they Spent it on was courtside Seeds for the Knicks It's such a funny first of all Great era for the Knicks

They were really coming up here I was really excited for you to put your input On this because I know how happy You would be that the Knicks get a bump And the Menendez brothers They got courtside seats You pay for it Yeah man they inherited

$14.5 million They got $14.5 million for killing Their parents through inheritance So of course the first thing you do You don't do this anymore No one rich is like I'm going to sit Of a courtside watching the Knicks Because they'll probably just end up having to play

In the game to try to get a point scored For that damn team Don't even give me, I'm a fan I'm a fan, I'm just a little heart broken You don't sound like a pan He's the worst owner in sports And quite frankly I wish His children were

Were like no I'm not going to say it You are calling for his death No No I'm not going to say it The secret, the most brutal member Of last podcast and the last wishing For the death of a basketball coach I agree with you

If you take a look at the card They don't even look interested I wonder if they're thinking about the fact That they murdered both of their parents Do you think they had That had to be there At any time they had to look at each other And be killed to their parents

And Mark Jackson just had another great assist How do you No I think that they might have Thought about it, yeah sure I feel like they were pretty happy With the fact that they got courtside tickets But actually for me Looking at it is that

They look like they're having a good time I guess by Menendez brothers Standards they don't seem to be smiley Or anything They got bad faces But they seem to be kind of there He's got his nicks hat on They seem to be enjoying it

I don't know They just wanted to be on the scene They got those fancy new cars You know what's the really silver lining Is that the Who's Mark Jackson card It's actually shifted from It used to be 15 to 20 cents on eBay You can get it for up to 15 dollars

Wow 15 dollars I love everyone growing up Do you remember the trading card Phase or trend where everyone's like You never know this is going to be worth Thousands one day or even millions Same thing with comic books and they're just not

Didn't your dad buy like all the Superman Versus when Superman died He bought three of them and he's like It's just so you can read one One I got so I make sure it's safe And one you get to make sure it's safe So nothing happens to it because it's going to pay for your college And it was that and it was the same thing

Yeah I had so many baseball I remember how happy I was with my Phil Sims rookie Card that I had And I was just like this is going to be fancy This is my ticket I did that with Beanie Babies by the way You were in the Beanie My Mom did Beanie Babies She had to buy Mother Law

Filled with Beanie Babies that are worthless The Beanie Baby? I'm not sure that's the only one I'm certain that there are several of them that are like When the world final makes its turn Towards the age of Aquarius Beanie Babies will be the new money It's possible

It's possible Well let's stick in the world of sports Well no because that came up to There were other stories that looked it up One link to it is that other stories of People with embarrassing The one that came up was a A man named Bill Ripken

Who had a Photo taken for I forget what season this was I believe in January 1989 Where was this? He had a great year that year I guess And they took a picture for his baseball card But they didn't realize that underneath the car

I guess it's the knob Of the baseball bat What do you call the bottom of it? Yeah the knob, it's his knob Fuckface And it got published Which is pretty great It's pretty good

What ensued was absolute chaos Because they found out the error's card price And it ended up raising to nearly $500 Which is pretty Pretty great But for nearly 20 years Bill Ripken hasn't told the whole story Until finally he revealed

With this story Of this bullshit And he actually revealed the true story of it Where he said I got a dozen bats in front of my locker During the 1988 season I pulled the bats out, model lard 161 And noticed because of the grain patterns

That they were too heavy But I decided I'd use one of them at the very least For my batting practice bat Now I had to write something on the bat At Memorial Stadium the bat room was not too close To the clubhouse so I wanted to write something That I could find immediately If I looked up and it was 444

A minute later and not be late There were 5 big grocery carts with the bats in there And if I wrote my number 3 It could be too confusing so I wrote fuckface on it I love it But the thing is he lied about this for years And he said it was a prank against him Because he's kind of a jackass in the clubhouse

Yes What a guy I love baseball players man I always remember how horrible Joe but Chamberlain was When he used to go into Quote-unquote guest bartend at Eddie's Bar Which is He was never officially asked

To bartend But he definitely would go back there And definitely was a huge asshole Well, Joba was not that bad He was nice before He didn't want people to think He was drinking so all he did Was get Long Island iced teas

Which is more than I drink No one believed he was iced tea You reek of liquor And Eddie used to go He would actually call Joba used to call Eddie From the clubhouse In the pan before he would go on the field

And be like yo Have the sliders ready for me And make sure you got more tea Like all this fuck I know for a fact I would party with him Until like 4 o'clock in the morning And they would have like a noon game

He had to be hammered He had to be hammered while pitching But that's how baseball players used to be All the time Yeah, I mean this was 2012 Whatever He's keeping history alive He's keeping the heart of the game alive

You remember that movie for the love of the game Of course Alright, well let's go on I ended up being in the middle of the I feel like a lot of the country I didn't realize how big the story was Until I saw the episode of 2020 about Chris Watt And the murder of his family

You won't cover it in depth Go watch it ABC 2020 It's pretty sweet Man it's scary The idea of just meeting somebody on Facebook Because they, number one Facebook is just a barren land now I don't know what the fuck Facebook is now

God knows But a part of it is If you meet somebody on Facebook You don't know who you're meeting Even if you even marry them and have children with them Two years later So anyway For those that maybe haven't heard about this story

This is national, this is one that Henry and I were talking before Both of our mothers would have been glued To 2020 and Dateline And 60 Minutes This is a story that goes across the country Chris Watt, he has been found guilty And received a life sentence without

The possibility of parole He killed his pregnant wife Shannon Both of his daughters Bella and Celeste And then they had an unborn son They were going to name Nico No one really knows why the hell he did it According to Shannon's parents He was like a chill dude

They said that he never like yelled Or got upset, nothing but nice He was freaked out about the new pregnant woman And then he started hitting on a chick At work and they started having a very intense Love affair, my thing is I was trying to figure out How he murdered them and I actually haven't seen that yet How did, this is a fun Google search

How did Chris Watt's Murder his family This is my whole life This is just a little, if you want to just see What it's like to just be on last podcast and left It's just this, you just say this How did it happen And then someone tells you horrible shit

Oh, he tried to blame it on the wife He tried to say he killed the wife Because she saw her strangling the kids Well he had a whole series of lies And of course this dude After they were murdered he texted with his Girlfriend about their future Behind closed doors

Or say he giggled when he told police He had nothing to do with their disappearance He did that whole thing Where he went in front of the cameras And he had the crocodile tears Like in Wayne's world where he's like I'm not mad, I'm not mad And then it's like the Oscar

Speech that he gives as he splashes water onto his face I'm just going to tell you this This is for all you people out there When you're talking to a guy alone at a bar And he drops the line when he says Because that's how he met this woman Him and his wife are currently separated And they're on their way to getting divorced

And this is how you can tell if this is not true Look at the ring finger If the dent is still there Right, because now I'm starting To get the dad dent I'm starting to get the married man dent And it stays, right So if you still see the dent

That ring has come off Within hours, or even days Alright, it is fake Look for the rut Because that's how you know Look for the rut Words of wisdom The girlfriend's name is Nicole Kessinger

Now she's a 30 year old She was a co-worker at Anadarko She told the Denver Post They had just met And she says I barely knew him So this dude, this is classic With guys who are like in relationships for a long time They just assume that like

Other women want to have sex with them And then they're just like This relationship, she's just gonna love me And we'll just be like right in We're already in a three year relationship Because they just want to replace their wife And they don't even think about the other person Being like, who are you?

Because it's all about them It's all about this guy living some fantasy life That he thinks that his marriage is like He's sick of his marriage Even though he's fully in on it He's fully on it, but his wife, Shanaan Watts Was like a full on Facebook, social media

24x7, their relationship was Constantly on display So a part of it was, you can kind of see He thinks he's living this fake life with the woman Who essentially is broadcasting every moment of their day But she's wildly happy She's just happy And she's just one of those people that does that

She is a mid 30s person Who got obsessed with Facebook And the potential to reach people And then she became working for a PR company That did these vitamin patches So she also used it for work And he obviously maybe even got disillusioned With it and instead of like

Doing what a normal human does Which is speak to your partner Or figure it out and do the work You live this kind of sick gross double life Where you're supposed to be pretending You're pretending to have some Illicit affair with somebody else Or a genuine relationship

Which is all predicated on a lie And none of it's true None of that passion is real Shanaan did tell her friend That her relationship seemed to be a little bit Slow going at the time This was on August 7th She texted a buddy and she said

He has changed I don't know who he is He hasn't touched me all week Or kissed me So she was feeling a lack of intimacy But of course that does not mean That you're going to kill your fucking family Because you go through a week of

Maybe lacking intimacy or something So it's still A sensational news outlet Brutal because he sent In this letter dated July 3rd Which is a month before all of this Shit went down to his mistress He sent one of these dumbass cards

That are very hallmarky which says Nicky, a year of stuff that you love to do A brand new dreams to may come true One that brings you smiles and laughter And fills your heart with love Long after and he sends it He sent that to the mistress? But no that was like in the card

Which is, the sun's up you Big things will happen this year Dreams will come true, that smile, that stare That laugh, that giggle Gets me every time You are truly amazing, inspirational An electric woman that takes my breath away Every time I see you

You are wonderful, don't ever stop Being you Three exclamation points Happy birthday! Laying it on a little bit Thick Such a dad Hit, like that is such a dad

Hitting on someone for the first time In like five years It's like ok bro, tap the brakes Just a little bit here Here's another letter, wow where do I even start The first day I saw you you took my breath away The first day I had the guts to talk to you Lost in those stunning green eyes

The first day we hung out in the park together I knew I was addicted The first time we kissed I knew I had met the most amazing, unique An electric woman We have a lot of firsts together I'm not going to keep having them with you All night till the sun's come back

I want to love, want to love I want to love you like that This guy is so Corny You keep my engine roaring when you're pushing The pedal, I can't resist the feel I can't resist the feel You put me on another level

Laying it on thick Is that every I think many women would be like We just went out for a lunch date Maybe she would have just You just shown these letters to your wife And she would have just blown her brains out It's just that thing

I feel that it's really important Because a part of it is that It's being honest while you're in a relationship And this kind of this concept that you can go sneak around There is nothing more Pathetic than a married man Trying to sneak around on the side No, and it's honestly

Not that it's a bad thing, but with technology The way it is now, good luck Good luck my friend My goodness, so obviously This guy had some Grant, some grandiose Ideas of the love that he was going To have in the future with this

30 year old co-worker, Nicky No one is really happy obviously in Shannon's family That's an understatement But this is according to Shannon's brother, Frankie This is what he told Watts At sentencing, he says I pray that you never have a moment's peace Or a good night's rest in the cage

You'll spend every day for your life in He went on to say, and one other thing Shannon says she is super excited For justice today, which I don't know If she actually did, but it's good for the family It is very good, but it's very I mean, it's a fucked up story and we'll obviously I'll be following it too, it's just something I was

Looking into, it was just like absolutely Absolutely fucking horrifying Alright, we'll move it on a little bit here Amazon headquarters Of course they treat their employees horrible Jeff Bezos is really Pushing to be supervillain of the year Which I think needs to be the new title

I don't want to know the person of the year Which is evidently the Golden State Warriors Kind of aggravates me, that's 13 people Including the coach, that's a lot of people For one person And I would also include the administration That includes the janitors at the station At the stadium, there's a lot of stuff going on there

If you just name a basketball team It's like me just saying, you know who's like my Person of the year? Who? The Kebler Elves Because the problem is that You don't know really how many there are There's three representatives There's three representatives, you got Stinky

You got Grabby and you got Smiley Right, is that their names? I don't think Stinky is one of the Kebler Elves It could be, it could be, sure It's a Grabby and Smiley are two of them I think his name is Richard Yeah It's Gripby

It's Gripby, Grabby and Smiley Sounds problematic But alright Being a chef is a very difficult job We don't know how many Employees they had, that's what I'm saying We don't, so anyway Speaking of employees

And employees in a high number Two dozen Amazon warehouse employees In New Jersey were hospitalized Wednesday when one Is in critical condition Because a stupid robot Punctured a can Of bear repellent

The news was soon picked up by the national outlets And this of course, this story spread Across social media In total, 54 workers At the Robbinsville, New Jersey facility Were exposed to fumes, bear repellent Is made with a bunch of like chili pepper Extract and a whole bunch of stuff

That obviously is made to repel bears So you can imagine what it does to people The workers experienced trouble breathing And they had sore throats And their eyes burned And evidently, this isn't even the first time A robot has attempted to kill All of the employees at an Amazon warehouse

This isn't the first bear repellent issue What is going on With the robot kill machines We had the Uber driver We had the Uber car, that killed somebody There was another, there's a series Of robot murders that are not being Talked about nearly enough

Because the government wants to keep you quiet In Germany in 2015 At a Volkswagen factory Someone was crushed to death by a stationary robot These are not robot murders Okay, I'm gonna say this honestly They're robot murders No, robot murders is if a robot shows up

At your house And says, I want your wife And then fucking murders you That's a robot murder This is how it starts This is how it starts This is it The Dallas police department

Remember that one dude, what was his name Michael something, he went crazy He started shooting all those cops over in Dallas Absolutely horrible, they used a robot They exploded the robot right in front Like it was straight out of call of duty black ops They exploded the robot right in front of him Killing him, and then of course as I said

With the Uber, the automated Uber car And also one guy In 2016, an Ohio man Died when driving the self-driving Tesla He crashed into a tractor trailer Well he watched Harry Potter That's his fault He needs to be watching the road

He needs to be watching the road too We're learning with the robots I obviously, I mean Amazon has horrible Ways of treating their employees But I will say it's just like Man, I got a shower head I got my gold bond powder And I got all of my

Soundproofing equipment in a day So I understand that People are getting killed to bring me these things But Would I not ask soldiers To sacrifice for the freedom of this country I mean honestly, what the soldiers do And if we start treating them like soldiers

Or calling them soldiers at Amazon Then it's just bravery To work there Okay, well honestly if they got Good health insurance, which you know The soldiers probably need better health insurance But I think if they were treated Well they need mental health insurance

That kind of shit All the robots shit They're starting to sell exoskeletons I saw that, yes And so the other incident happened In 2015 regarding bear repellents In an Amazon warehouse And that was the fire department

Responded to the accident at the Amazon facility In Haslett, Texas That was caused by a robot Running over a can of bear repellent Purposely running over a can Of bear repellent I don't think it was purposefully That kind of bear repellent

It's biological warfare And the robots know it They can survive in a biological war That's how they get us We can shoot them, maybe explode them But biological warfare, that's why they're going to be here forever Honestly, I'm just glad That we are hiring these robots

Because we have to Because if not, we can't have them unemployed Because can imagine how dangerous Robot school shooters would be That would be dangerous We have We want to do a little bit of a debunking One quick thing I will say about the Amazon story

It's well, it's It is a shame How they sort of Try to scrub these stories These stories got pushed down very, very quickly It was so hard To find this story, I saw it one time And then I googled

Robot death, Amazon warehouse Nothing came up It is like crazy how good they are And they're about to be your neighbors I know, over in Long Island City They're going to put a lot of people out of business And just judging From the amount of HGH

And steroids that Jeff Bezos is on I think he knows that his employees Will eventually try to rise up And beat the shit out of him and eat him What he knows is that he has to be stronger Than the robots as well He's clearly on steroids He is on 410

He's living the dream That is sort of That is the dream The idea is that I could become a bigger person I could start just injecting myself with HGH If I become a millionaire I'm going to fucking Grow the beard out, I'm going to be a fucking jack

I'm going to look like a fucking cyber viking You've been fantasizing about this look for a while It's a lot of work That's the problem That's what's really difficult I want to quickly debunk A story that came out A story of a Texas man

Saying he kidnapped and sexually assaulted Seven and nine people while dressed as an alien Is false It came out saying that he Drugged people with a mixture Of LSD and PCP And he came out in an alien costume And stuck his fingers up their butt

In order to say that you're probing While it is a wonderful idea It's a horrible idea It's a horrible idea But in its horribleness It seems to be It was originally broke By a news report

Called World News Daily Report It is a well-known producer of junk news Whose website features the following disclaimer Saying that it is satirical The identity of the elderly man Shown in the mugshot was not immediately clear But it did seem that the same mugshot Appeared in a blog post

Which was for a mugshot Monday and it's just A sad, it's just a A guy who was an 80-year-old man That was arrested for sexual battery And it's just a website making fun of people's mugshots Right, and of course this is another situation We got a lot of emails

And DMs about this story So we hate to be the bearer of bad news In this case, good news I am not gonna be fucking hoodwinked By a British Boy band again I am not dealing with that I will not let it stand

I will not negotiate with fucking terrorists Alright, I do want to say this is another case Where you look at the mugshot And I think they just come up with a story Around the mugshot And this guy does kind of look like a gray Sort of does, yeah Kind of looks like an alien, so

It's a great writing prompt His picture is great, and we want to do A little bit of a story from a fan Actually it doesn't really stay here It doesn't stay here if he wants his name said or not But in response to Kissel's revelation That he's been using smooth moves Tea for some reason

I used it once I was looking for a smooth move Now this comes from the, I'm just gonna say The initials E.M. In case he's trying to run for office or something And so this is what he said He had a very foul experience With smooth moves tea

Senior year of high school I was sick and I found a bunch of herbal tea I didn't read the label very carefully And shared some with my friend Judson Who was sleeping over Four to five cups of the stuff Mistake, holy shit Honestly, four to five cups of tea

Where do you the queen? I know what's going on buddy Cut to 4.30 a.m. I wake up and I have to shit worse Than I ever have in my life I go to the bathroom but the door is locked Apparently Judson literally woke up five minutes Before me also having to shit I start pounding on the door yelling at him to hurry up

Because I'm gonna shit myself He yells at me, we go yell back and forth I freak out at this point I have to shit in the kitchen sink Until he finishes up Judson you see was on the track team That morning he had to run ten miles from the Chicago leaf front I was pulling out of my garage to take him to the train

But I had to stop, pull back in And take another shit before I could drive him anywhere Once I got back home my sister came down the stairs And confronted me saying Hey the fuck drank all my laxative tea We started cracking up But in the same moment we stopped Looked at each other in the eyes and said

Judson, tea? Judson later told us what happened to him And he got way worse than me There he was at the start of his ten mile run And pretty much immediately had to run a mile In the opposite direction to go to a porta potty And later on he said he had to stop And shit in a bush that was super conspicuous

And he had so many issues And he couldn't finish the race And he had to wait in the coach's car Literally covered in shit So be careful with that shit Honestly be careful with that shit You have to wait in the coach's car It's never for a good reason

You're either in trouble or you had too much laxative tea Because nothing would fucking make me more Rage filled Than being like alright Judson You can sit in my Audi But under one fucking condition You don't touch that interior I'm gonna put a fucking towel down

I would never let a 15 or 16 year old sit in my new car Covered in Duke You don't know he's covered in Duke There must have been some indications I'm pretty Just judging from my laxative tea experience It's not You know it's not a clean situation

I'm not going into detail here But I'm sure That they knew what was going on Alright everyone Well thank you all so much for listening Thank you for submitting that story E-M Oh I almost

Alright everyone Thank you so much for listening You can always DM me on Instagram You can always email sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com We do read those and thank you all so much for submitting your stories I didn't get to the one I wanted to do today

As well about the Dart Fartgate Fartgate In the world of darts It's a pretty funny story if you search that But alright We'll get to it If you have a story you want to tell us And if it's funny

We'll read it out loud Please email it to sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com We love your submissions We've been using them It's great for us because we can find out what you guys want to hear about And also like again It's a really good way for you to yell at us

Because we're reading these things But be kind Don't mention the Jonas Brothers ever again Ever again What was the name of the British band Barkirk You know it's a Burston Something

Busted They look like a bunch of pedophiles They look like a bunch of adults trying to hang out with children Well that makes sense Maybe that's the point of their name Busted is an arrested for pedophilia Oh I thought busted also means when you come I don't know

But please email us We got our special coming out soon Very excited to present The coins Can not wait Please if you have $6.66 Go out there Buy the special

It's the first time we're doing it We're really excited about it So please get out there And hopefully you enjoy it And hail Satan Alright everyone hail yourselves Hail me And when you live

You got a long You ain't laughing like this You ain't laughing Like I like people who don't Fully laugh when they do this Like you're just super chill You're too chill to put a full emotional Commitment of laughing

It kind of switches the laughter into I'm not actually I don't think that's funny I'm actually just sort of like Why are you talking to me Yeah yeah when you do the thing When you respond in a text where you go ha ha And when I know you're not laughing I know you're just trying to cover up I do uh

I have laughed when I have said The one I don't like is I don't like low I don't like raffle because you are Not rolling on the floor I know you're not because it would be So remarkable I would be concerned for you if you were You are having a seizure

If you're rolling on the floor Also you know what I don't like Just one ha Yeah it's demeaning And it's passive aggressive You know what we will talk to you soon Hey!