Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Say It Ain't So

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news with a slew of updates and then the story of the week: Jillian Lauren, Wife of Weezer Bassist Scott Shiner, shot by police in bizarre public standoff, ALSO - Wisconsin teen charged with killing parents also accused of plotting to assassinate President, the Aussie woman caught selling regurgitated toes, Crocs causing chaos, Lori Vallow News, Listener E-Mails, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. Sign stories? Yes, I love your glaze. That's when the cannibalism started. SIGN STORIES. Yes. Wow, yes! Are we ready to go? Are we recording? We are. Oh, that's what I like to hear. That's what I like to hear. You know I like to hear. Bit of a fart. You farted again.

Oh yeah. And you concentrated through it. See, but we talked about this the last, you know, you'll see. Well, it comes out in the future. That's a preview for the audience, and it's a bit that we already did. Yes. You know, you gotta be careful with recycling bits. I'm not recycling, I'm just talking.

They know, they know. know the audience knows they track You know what's weird is I have gotten to the point now where this show and our real life or blending They're blending and I don't remember what we talk about in real life as opposed to what we talk about on the show Never do I never know I have no fucking idea I don't know. Like, did I talk about it on the show, about how we went to go see The Brutalist? Yes.

So Natalie and I went to go see The Brutalist. Let me just send this up to my, my, our audience. Your broodies out there. Yeah, we're broody family, we're a broody family. I hashtag broody verse, extended broody verse, what I'm hoping for, extended broody verse. Build through death Yes, and I I don't know if I said this on the show

that I Here's a note To the to some of you guys out there Everybody's got like a partner that sometimes Reacts to content differently and you know exactly how they react to things. Yes. So before going into The Brutalist, I'm not gonna spoil it, right?

But I knew it was already gonna be a bit of a tough sell to get Natalie to wanna come see The Brutalist with me. There's an intermission and it's about buildings. That is literally what I told her. But also what I do then, sometimes with a movie like that, when I know this might be challenging for Natalie's, like in terms of like a wife's taste. Yeah. I looked it up online, the Wikipedia, I spoiled myself to know what the ending was. Because I'd heard the ending was shocking. Yeah, it was cool. And then I

Yeah, cool And then I read that it was awesome Yeah And I read it. Yes, but I knew that there were moments in the ending Natalie's not gonna like So about halfway through the movie we get to the intermission and I just turned to Natalie and I just say you know what? I'm tired. Let's just go home Right, so I we went home so that I could go and Download the movie again

Just to watch the end. Yeah, and I gotta say man. That's weird to do What make the whole the vet just watch? No, that's the 25 minutes of the brutalist. Yeah on a Sunday morning. Oh I thought you're talking about fiat with the what the brutalist know The waking up to only watch the ending And it's just it's just not it doesn't get you going I do that all the time with the shit you send me well Well, that's all asleep watching it. And then I have to wake up for the murder. And then in the morning I watched the murder part. What was the last thing that was I said to you that was all

that bad? I mean, define bad, like bad as in brutal or bad. I just send you something really fun. You sent me a four hour video of what's this guy's name? Nichols talking to his friends in his living room. Yeah, Preston Nichols Yeah, Nichols. Yeah, you said that an incredible and they're all just sitting around the living room lying to each other over pizza That's because Eddie doesn't understand the true subtleties of truth. Welcome to side story If you want to hear the conclusion of the Montauk project, please Friday, you'll hear it. You'll hear it. My name is Henry Zabrowski I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Oh, look at that! We intro'd!

We did. Hell yeah, man. Just a couple of broodies. I am a broody. I am a broody now. Broody's taking hate. I think broody's great. What do you mean broody's taking hate? People think it sucks. Architects don't like it. What do you mean? Architects don't fucking know anything. They just sit all day with squares.

It is true. What do architects know about movies? They don't know shit about they do the exact opposite movies move buildings Don't building stay there. They were right there. They better not change. Yeah Yeah, and then were they mad that he lied about what the architecture plans were Yeah, we what we may you got a movie finally has anybody seen you Should I do I have to keep holding the ending of Adrian bro this whole thing? I think brutalists you need at least a year My broody heads haven't seen this yet broody head nation people don't know their broody heads is my is my thing So you don't think they don't know that they're broody heads. I know they're broody heads

I think after the next Oscars you're allowed to say the ending of the brutalist. Okay got it Yeah, cuz it only because it would get almost one best picture. You're right. Yeah, you're right But let me tell you it's a surprise What's a surprise the ending it's great it's fine No, I actually listened to the score in my free time when I'm walking down the street I got the brutalist score going to my head. It's awesome. Yeah, honestly, it's good I that might be good soundtrack to up and watching day the entire will watch the first week of the Lori Vallow trial Oh, and if you just put a nice intense sound bed underneath this all of this footage

You would just make it just long it court should be scored It would be so much better if there was TV playing on the wall I feel like if they had like like of the gas station they even do it. Mm-hmm put sports up. Well, no sound. Yeah more sports for your courts see and Laurie Vallow gets to essentially Cross examine and interrogate the victims of her crimes. It is one of the most harrowing. I mean this I don't normally It's boring court is boring. Yeah, but not this. Inherently, I am gripped.

I'm sitting and watching it like it's- The fact that they're even letting it happen. I can't believe that it is such a utter heartbreak and it's also like interesting because it's the American system at work. She's allowed to defend herself. She's allowed to go into these scenarios and the jury, it's harrowing because this

is a specific jury that does not know about the previous convictions. So the jury doesn't know that she's already. They know she's a prisoner, but they don't know who she's killed. And they are not allowed to broach that information until it becomes too much. And so what she'll do is, Lori Vallow will like, one of the forensics experts that was

talking about the way the body was going, she decided to not cross examine, that was one of the prosecutor's witnesses, because she knew, or like, you know, they kind of interpreted that she knew that if she were to talk directly to this person, they were the forensics expert on the last trial in Idaho and legitimately then the prosecution can open up on redirect and talk about the previous convictions. So they're still holding. They've only heard certain things. Kaye Woodcock that was the grandmother of JJ, one of the dead kids, Charles Vallow's sister,

she was on the stand talking to Lori Vallow, it's the fucking most intense shit I've ever seen. Like, they are like, it's hard, it is hard. You're watching this woman, this person's a victim, an extended victim of Lori Vallow. The prosecutor doesn't get to ask about JJ? The whole, they, Kay Woodcock kept saying JJ was. JJ had. JJ, so it's slowly coming out.

They can't do it because technically what they're trying to, this is how they create a fair trial is that they take the previous shit out of this trial so that you're only being looked at for this one crime and they can't have the other shit affect the jurors opinion of you in this crime. But what about character witnesses? I mean there it's all if if character was what sunk this woman, she'd be a fucking anchor.

Everybody's basically saying, she's this is an evil bitch that has done horrible things, but they're not allowed to say the words. They're not allowed to say the words, you killed JJ entirely because it will fuck up. It'll be a hung trial. But it's fact. It would fuck with the previous trial.

Certain things have to be met. I'm not quite certain, but certain parameters have to be met for them to bring that information in. It seems like a very big piece of information. Well, obviously, I think what's happening is that when you're watching this, so now I'm watching it for hours, and I tried doing the mental math of subtracting what I know from what I'm watching,

and you can start to see, oh, there's a big circle of nothing in this, that they are, you can hear, you have to be, if you're watching as a jury being like, what are they not telling us? Yeah. Like there is a, so it so it's gonna come it will eventually come It's just wild to see her just she got a shock collar vest on What what's that for if she lunges at the jury or lunges at a fucking witness? They have somebody there to zapper Oh, which fun they should have had that on. What's her name? Yes, your business. I should not have one. She likes it. Yeah It's hard for she can't deal with it, but this whole story it's just that's really fucked up

she also wouldn't talk to like Her brother the stuff with her and her brother Adam Cox. Yeah, the DJ Yeah, the cool though. Well not the cool one, but the one who was cool with the guy who was murdered Yes, the former DJ he he's now like he's doing some other scam business now But it was brutal like they're all like so what you think of me? She had to question the lady that went on a date with Charles Vallow two days before he died Where she did this whole like, what did he tell you about me?

Like grilling this woman. Why would she even say that? Why would she ask? And then finally she's like, so at what point did he tell you all about me? Blah, blah, blah. And the lady comes back. I think her name was Debbie Jo.

They're trying to make a bunch of a merch from it where she says, don't flatter yourself. We talked about other things as well. And you hear the crowd go like, oh shit! Merch from it where she says don't flatter yourself. We talked about other things as well But again, that's why I'm allowed in cool, that's not why that's why I can't go You probably would be allowed in Oh anybody can go we it's all it's like a lottery. You have to wait online You should go to more trials to be honest if I love it so much if I go That's the only time I

Have to have I have to have it at some point. I'm already watching them online I think that this is a great new hobby for you, especially with the Menendez brothers in town. Yeah trial peeping Yeah, yeah, cuz that's fucking crazy the kind of shit that blows through LA is awesome We had Richard Ramirez fucking we all the best trials are great crimes in the world's history have come through LA It's pretty great. I wish there was more in a way. There's lots of stuff going on We're gonna get to it in a second, but we have two more updates Oh, I love this one. So I was halfway right about cloud seeding and weather manipulation Well, technically I was also halfway right good good Right weather manipulation, this is from a letter from one of our experts. Weather manipulation is 100% real.

It just sucks. If you throw certain chemicals into the air that act as seeds around which moisture can condense, sometimes you can get some rain clouds. It only works with favorable conditions. Already exists in the atmosphere, though, to start rain formation. That's why I won't work in, like, Texas or something.

The clouds have to already be there. Yeah. And then you see them and they do a bunch of stuff. Same goes for the opposite. We could try to disrupt storms from producing damaging hail and such but it's unreliable and requires dumping chemicals into the atmosphere. And no one wants to do. Yeah and if you have a giant hurricane dumping chemicals into a hurricane sounds like a bad idea. But it's interesting too, because I like this. Yes, obviously. Governments, mostly the US government and many world governments have been very actively trying

to create dependable weather manipulation for a long time. We could use rain. People want it, right? There's a lot of talk of it being used in weaponized ways in certain parts of the world. They were talking about floods in Congo. They thought they were made by the Chinese using cloud seeding to make it rain out, but that doesn't kind of really work out.

But it's interesting. Like, think about this. There was a thing called Project Storm Fury. Okay. Twenty years they spent trying to figure out how to control hurricanes. Of course they want to control hurricanes. Have to. There's a lot of money in doing it. They would love to do it. They want to do it. It sort of, apparently it even kind of, kind of, sorty worked, but it was. So it didn't work last year. No. But the thing is, apparently the

whole, the whole reason it was built on like the whole hypothesis of how it was supposed to work turned out to be like flawed and fucked up. So they pulled all the funding 20 years of research down the drain It's also like important to understand just how much energy is inside of a hurricane like Trying to kick off It's according to letter trying to kick off or manipulate a weather system that contains vastly more energy than a nuclear Weapon is a long long way off from essentially encouraging clouds to piss out some rain over your cornfield Yes, like it's wild like I love this the way this letter this this writer put it Weather's so ordinary that most folks don't think about it

But massive exchanges of energy are going on in the air over our heads every day Sure the base chemical and thermal controls over weather are relatively simple But the atmosphere itself is a hugely complex and tremendously powerful thing the sheer scale is immense Being able to control it with any accuracy would take godlike technology That's like trying to push back the tides. Yeah, it's impossible. It's very difficult. Unless you got a lot of powerful organ

harvested from scared babies from their uteruses and from their carved out adrenal glands or getting a bunch of rich people together to talk to reptilians over a menorah. Also, I'm going to say chemtrails, fucking pussies. Exactly. They ain't stopping no hurricane. They have the injection.

That little fucking cloud trail, that ain't stopping no hurricane. Fucking get with the program. Hurricane's a bad motherfucker. It is hard to fucking take down Ask Miami. Yes. Ask fucking anywhere in Florida. It is rough, it is crazy to see how much damage you can do and it's just it's just ale

Mm-hmm. Isn't that crazy? It is crazy. It is crazy Fuck you too. Fuck your ass man. Fuck your fucking ass. You're good peanuts law peanuts law. All right This is another update. What is this? I am in charge of the animal news. I'm declaring it right now. I know this is your department. This is my wheelhouse. I love it. It's what you do best. Yes. So peanut, the squirrel that was murdered by the cops. Remember this? Oh yeah, I remember. Yeah. He was the only fans. People had the squirrel that the cops came in and they were babysitting kids in the in the neighborhood But which is should be allowed we decided when we talked about on the show. Yes, you know because they're not bad people

No, but now peanuts law which would require a 72 hour waiting period before animals from animal sanctuary are euthanized our waiting period before animals from animal sanctuary are euthanized. Um, so that is nice. This comes from the wonderful news source channel 3000. Oh wow. Mark Longo, who lives on a farm in pine city near the Pennsylvania border, took a squirrel in after seeing its mother get hit by a car in New York city.

Very sad. We all know. Very sad. He named that squirrel Peanut and started an Instagram account for him, gaining hundreds of thousands of followers in the course of seven years. But that guy had also had huge fucking cockatballs.

I think the people watching were watching for the cock, not the squirrel. The guy with the idea, they better not have been. He had the gray sweatpants, and we all saw his huge cock through the sweatpants. The big old w old wiener dinger and he's got like and he's at the October 20 20 or what he did. Yes The New York State Department environmental conservation went to long goes home seized peanut and a raccoon nameless After the agent agency received complaints that wildlife was being kept there illegally

The DEC worker involved in the investigation Said that the raccoon was also euthanized and tested both Results came back negative for rabies You know because it's the only way to really test them for rabies is to kill them you had to go through their blood You're gonna like run their body through like a gravy mill. Yes so but now, because of this and the popularity of peanut, you will get a 72-hour leeway to see if the animal has rabies before they're euthanized.

That's a really nice change. I think so. You know, and then if they got rabies, they have to be destroyed, and if they're just frosting them with the mouth, maybe they were brushing their teeth. It's amazing that it took a squirrel. It took a squirrel. And you know I was talking to my um and I'm sure I'll catch shit but I was talking to my vet father-in-law and he said very old by the way and we were talking and he said that squirrels

don't really get rabies and there's no recorded We grow rabies. We talked about this is that it was probably mostly it was ulterior motives But yes, yeah squirrels are actually largely immune to rabies in a weird way. It's very strange Yes little bodies you think that they would because they'd be so cute Killing your family All right my favorite story of the week this is huge this was my favorite story of the week I get to send it to me multiple times God, I love that. I love Los Angeles. Um this story We all love the band Weezer. That's not true. You know like was you like Weezer?

Um, I like a handful of songs I used to like them more. I don't like obviously no one anybody with any substance does not like the new album Sorry, I like the old albums like we all do pink and blue are great. Those are amazing. Yes Yeah, yeah, no nuts. I can't believe they wrote a song called hash pipe that I don't enjoy it's a bad song it's a worse thing and actually almost made me want to throw out every single piece of Merch and album I ever had of theirs, but I now I'm having an older reaction to it and understand You're liking it more now. No, I'm saying the more that I can it can I can still be a fan and Not like like most of their albums do do

Allen and so don't hate that song. Hate that song. Also hate that song. They did ruin a lot of their legacy later on. And I've also heard they're a bit stingy when they're performing live. But they're still big. I'm still a big fan of Weezer. Stingy how?

In terms of like they don't give it their all. Sometimes Rivers Cuomo seems out of it. I would be too. I wouldn't be. There's no substance in this. You're a rock star. Get over it. He's a nerd. You're a rock star? Fucking get over it. I would be too. I wouldn't be. He's no substance in the soul. Rockstar get over it. He's a nerd. You're Rockstar fucking get over it. Yeah. All right. So the Scott Shriner he's not over it. He's the basis for Weezer. You know what I like about him? Unflappable basis. Got to stay in the pocket. Right? Yeah. Do do do do do do do. Gotta be fucking rock

solid guy. Right? Yeah. Which must be be because that man puts up with a very interesting wife. Her name is Shillian Lauren and she is cute, fun, kind of foxy lady. A rock and roll guy right? But instead she decided to insert herself into the search for three men that were running from a high-speed chase and then she opened up a fire against a bunch of police officers and they shot her and then she was put into jail on one million dollar bail that she had. So they just paid and got her out. This whole story is just not making any fucking sense. Did she know the people running from the cops no no no so okay?

This is how I can maybe parse this out so everything began on Last Tuesday 325 p.m.. Which is that of course is always right before we record There was a hit-and-run on the 134 La PD they responded to request for resistance From chips they went in there. They were an Eagle Rock, right? For those of you don't know Eagle Rock in LA crunchy yet expensive Yeah, right. It's a great. It's a part of the city in which very very money. Yes. It's where it's where weezer lives It's where people with money live to pretend to have no money. Yes, right Lauren This late Jillian Lauren, which which again, it's really hard

to fucking describe, anybody with two first names. So there was a high speed chase. The suspects left their car. They ran into the bunch of backyards of this residential neighborhood. The manhunt led officers to the back of a residence where all of us, where Scott Schreiner of Weiser and his wife Gillian Lauren live.

For some reason, Gillian Lauren was in the backyard of her neighbor house with her house with a we have her neighboring property. So it wasn't even her property on her neighbor's property. OK, with a handgun. Lauren pointed handgun at officers who said, hey, white lady, please put it down, because that's how nice they are in LAPD. That's how nice they are when they say it's a rich woman with a handgun.

They went, please, pretty please, if you would just please put the gun down. Yeah. She responded by opening up a fire at them. She fired at them or into the air? She fired. Yeah. It sounds like when a police officer.

I thought she did like a warning, pop pop in the air. No, police officer is gonna take it as a warning. No. You know, they chased a few guys this according to Maria da Costa This is someone who says the LAPD was chasing the guys whose wife comes out of the house with a gun They then shot her in the shoulder. They shot her in the shoulder tiny shoulder, which is to be honest shows the Sadly, it shows restraint on LAPD's Count where they technically didn't riddle her with bullets because she was a visibly rich white woman See that's where they fucked up because now we know they can aim

She came out with the babysitter now two clues here number one She didn't listen to the police. She fired either at them or towards them or above them. They continued to fire at her. She went in and her response was to bring out her babysitter that was also at home. Now, I don't know if you've ever met anybody that's a mom that has a babysitter with her. That's not under police observance Normally with someone if you need a full-on team to raise your family That's just a child in a living room means sometimes I'm gonna go out on a limb

I know what people need help people can talk about this, but sometimes I'm reading right now difficult woman Say it ain't so I'm reading difficult woman That's funny Eddie You got to save it. Can you do it? Correct? For what? I don't know You got to do this you got to do it right though. What say it ain't so Say it ain't so. Thank you Lauren. We got shot in the shoulder. Do you think her sweater came undone? She got shot in the shoulder. Do you think her sweater came undone? Whoa! If you want to destroy my sweater, shoot me by police.

I love this. This is great. So many parodies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, Lauren. Alright, so she got shot in the shoulder. She brought out her, I think she brought her babysitter out to be a human shield? I'm not quite certain. There's some video camera footage. This is also, none of this is coming out, but one of my favorite parts about this whole thing was that obviously total fucking utter chaos. She's given a one million dollar bail. They got the cash to do it. They fucking, she pays her way out.

Even though she is, technically her crime is under, she's being charged with the attempted murder of a police officer, which could get her 10 to 15 years in jail. The problem is she did this in the backyard and not in the garage, because that's like inside. He's been, he wrote a bunch of these down earlier. He had to have written these down earlier. I love this stuff. But this is, I guess my main thing is, is yes, if you have you if you have to have a team while you're looking

At your children and they are not Adam Lanza law armed that you there's kind of there's a lot going on here And also I think it's a very interesting to see Scott Shriner's approach. So the next day so his wife's got shot all this hullabaloo Scott Shriner's just walking his dog and he's walking his dog normal Paparazzi's like, oh, what's up? He's like, oh, don't worry. She's fine. She's fine. That's his answer Yeah, he's fine. And he says don't worry still playing Coachella. They didn't Even think about rescheduling Coachella Weezer if you could see right here if you look at the Deadline article

Yeah, they went out there no mention obviously what was going on. They just played the play Don't say the best thing they could do. Oh, of course, but Scott Schreiner is just so He's so used to this woman. I mean whatever that pink triangle He must be but he is a useless woman another thing to understand this woman Jillian Lauren She was a part of a harem of a Dubai prince. She wrote a book about it. And then she got tired of sex. God, God.

That's good. Another good deep dive. God, that's great. She also was in, she wrote another book about her discovering self, but then most interestingly, she interviewed one of the most prolific, if you believe his claims, one of the most prolific serial killers in American history, Samuel Little, and she wrote a book.

This is her name. Gillian Lauren wrote a book. Is that the guy who killed like 80 people? Yes. She wrote a book called Behold the Monster Facing America's Most Prolific Serial Killer. And she also was on a Starz most prolific serial killer. And she also was on a stars documentary confronting a serial killer. She was becoming this like true crime talking head. And I think what's interesting, I'm just going to say this out here. I think a lot of times that, you know,

Kurt Vonnegut said, be careful who you pretend to be, because you become who you pretend to be. And I think on some level, there are some people out there, and I've met them in this space, the true crime space, that sometimes believe at some point that they've become a police officer. I think that Jillian Lauren received a, what I like to call, superhuman white woman confidence boost that came from, I want to say, the same thing that inspired Ava Braun,

the same thing that inspired Alison Mack from Nexium. This powerful, Julia Roberts. These powerful women, the people that inspire these powerful women, right? That sometimes you get this boost of confidence where she legitimately thought, I think in her mind, I'm helping catch these criminals. These police officers don't understand that I'm helping to catch these criminals.

So that's why they're trying to help me, tell me to stand down, but they don't get it. I've got their six. And it's like, you're just a lady with tat sleeves. You're not a police officer. No. But she found out because they shot her You know where she wouldn't have got shot where Beverly Hills. That's actually she was pretty close Shot the death of Beverly Hills because that's where she doesn't want to be Worst fucking song in the entire thing even that is fucking even worse

I just think it's hilarious that the guy just had no breath Scott Triner had no what about the other guys nothing No response. Yeah, I think that she might I'm talking about the guys that she was sticking up for the guys who the hit-and-run guys I don't think she was sticking up for them. I think she was trying to kill them Oh, she was trying to kill I think she was trying to catch criminals. Oh Kill them. Oh, she was trying to kill. I think she was trying to catch criminals. Oh That's my read on it. Oh, and then the cops, you know, she was like I'm on your side Yes, and I I'm pretty certain they're like cops like no. No, you're not only in dreams. Yeah, you're not though Yeah, I want to this footage yeah, look she's like a, yeah that's her with her babysitter. The babysitter's standing in front of her!

Oh wow, that's amazing! Man, honestly though, fucking give that babysitter a raise. Oh no, she's gonna be fired, sadly. Fired? She did a remarkable job, she's not only sitting the baby, but the woman. Unfortunately, Jillian still got shot. The only way she would have gotten to raise is if she died in the process of protecting her boss from the police

Unfortunately that money would have went to her family Man, well, that's that's it. We're gonna find out more. Obviously. I think we're gonna hear more from her defense attorney They haven't she hasn't said made any comment yet We don't really know what she was doing or thinking thinking what she was doing while she was doing it I think that we're gonna get some form of woe is me social media Turnaround on this. I think that we're looking at a potential budding Hilaria Baldwin here and we're gonna find out we're gonna find but or she's entirely innocent and I'm wrong

I could be entirely wrong and she was just cleaning her gun in her backyard. No, yeah, yeah, for sure. And she could have had headphones on. This is still better than the Ghost Adventures wife. Oh, the Ghost Adventures wife was actively trying to commit murder. Yeah.

Yeah, she was trying to commit murder. Yeah. That's different. This is just, I mean, I don't know what this lady was thinking, but I will say to- I think she had a case of too much time on her hands Yeah Weezer title or is that another? No, that's just yeah, just be talking. I think that she's sitting at home Should I even watch it or kids? No, you know, she's like, oh great. The cops are here Yeah, I'm a kill I get to kill now you don't buy the gun to not use it

No, of course That's why you have it because it's just sitting there collecting dust like the candelabra from Beauty and the Beast Well that was I mean he was sexually assaulting those dusters Defending the candelabra I'm just saying he was bored Board he had nothing else to do idle hand Also very dangerous for him to be fucking the the feather dusters Hey, he was a fire he wasn't thinking buddy. He was thinking with his little candle penis Are you ready for this next one?

Oh yeah, show me this next one. I like this guy. Authorities say teen killed parents to get money for assassination. That's right. Prosecutors say teens manifesto spelled out a plan to create chaos in the government. A Wisconsin teenager charged in the February deaths of his parents faces wider allegations that he killed them to obtain the financial means to assassinate president Trump and cause a governmental collapse. According to a recently unsealed federal warrant, he can't seem to get past first stage kill mommy kill daddy get money It's so hard to do guys. It's not that easy I'm gonna tell you right now if you're looking to get money for that assassination budget coin pull

Yeah, I need you need to do a bit coin pull only fans. Yeah. Well, he's 17 So he probably couldn't have done only fans. I mean, you know, they like Only fans. Yeah. Well, he's 17, so he probably couldn't have done only fans. I mean, they lie. They lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Nikita Kasip, 17, was charged last month by Waukesha County authorities. Waukesha. Waukesha County authorities.

Is that the same place where Rittenhouse went? Yeah, fun place for these guys. It's the same spot, isn't it? Whoa, I guess that must be cute boys enderal He was it was charged with first-degree murder theft and other crimes and the deaths of his mother Tatiana and stepfather Donald case up is in custody and the Waukesha County Jail. He looks mad on. Yes. Yes. He's very mad He's definitely looks like,

unfortunately definitely looks like someone who killed their parents. He does, yeah, he definitely has patricide face. Yeah, he's in county jail on a $1 million bond, which is the same as Jillian. And he killed two people. Does he have a hundred grand liquid? I think that Jillian does,

she should hook his ass up. I think that Jillian does. She should hook his ass up. I think that Jillian has had enough justice for one day. I think she could write a whole nother true crime novel just on this guy. County prosecutors have offered a glimpse into the federal allegations, which were outlined by the FBI. Wow. Federal authorities say Kasub detailed his plans in a three page anti-semitic manifesto praising Hitler And heard the search warrant called for the assassination of the president of the United States now, which seems weird

Because we have our most Hitler like president No, anything he should if he really felt like this he should have tried to kill Biden I think that he was too young. I'm just gonna say I feel that it's confused. Yes. Yeah, I feel that his belief system is not All on one page the manifesto allegedly well as three pages The manifesto allegedly outlined case's beliefs in the resulting chaos would lead to a revolution that would save the white race Sorry about that. No, by the way, we're fine. Yeah, I don't think we're actually hunky-dory. Sorry, Dweeby I'm sorry Don't need you to save us case up. You're not helping us. Sorry

It's not doing it about his plan to kill the president and overthrow the government of the United States the killing of his parents appeared to be an effort to obtain the financial means and Autonomy necessary for carrying out his plan. You know, who's the only white person I think done wrong by everyone still Jen Hanks Jen Hanks. I still think he's the only one that needs justice. Has he done anything wrong? He's just a goofball, right? No, he's anti-vated a little anti-vaxxing and he was like he had the thing with the Jamaican accent, but you know As opposed to everything else not that bad. This one's saying bars low my friend Accent, I think you could chalk that up for stupidity. You know who else did that? Did you see what's his name?

The character beans the kid from um? Yeah, he's that's not him doing the rapping. That's not him. No, but dude No, I thought it was the same guy that guy here to show if you could show Eddie this guy. Who is this guy? He makes me laugh. Who's beans even Steven? This is what he really looks He's not returning to the show and they're gonna be doing this reboot right? You know kind of looks like this right? He looks like a normal balding man, right? Definitely looks like a child Still he does weirdly but then this came out that people thought was beans Which is this? This rapper man. Yeah, m dot are he might be he looks nothing like him

He's English. He don't wait. Look at the video you gotta see him rapping cuz he kind of looks like a Malia this one rare. Oh, he kind of looks like I'm here He looks very sick in this one, but here listen to him Can we not play it all Why Cuz can't be right. Yeah, they might get mad. What are you talking about? He does a whole Jamaican. We can't play it. It's a full patois. Yeah He's very sexual in it. He does not look that way. He looks just like the old guy I guess when he looks all brutal like that. He looks just like that the other picture you showed me

He looked like a normal person, but yeah, he does look awful as well. And this is so beans had to say He's not this guy. Yeah well Awful as well and this is so beans had to say he's not this guy. Yeah Hmm. Well Back to case up case up was in touch with a person who speaks Russian and shared a plan to flee to the Ukraine Per federal affidavit authorities found material in case of phone related to the group holding neo-nazi Racially motivated extremist views. Yeah, I don't know if they're gonna take him in Ukraine. I don't think that he's gonna be a good soldier for the front lines of Ukraine. Yeah, the group is also strong anti-Judaism, anti-Christian, and anti-Western ideology.

So I don't even know what they're for. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like he might be confused, and now I'm glad that he'll be in jail for a little while to get worse. Seems like he's gonna be in jail forever. Oh yeah, he's killed his parents. Two people. Yep, but at 17, I will try him as an adult No, yeah, yeah, he's going all the way even though he definitely has a childlike face He does but he's upsetting and he's gonna get probably gruesome looking as well So I mean that's I feel like I mean that's that's a side story story

It really is and you know comes down to it's not a good way to make money guys No, you really want to flip a lot of stuff if you can get that capital the goal really is I mean You know, he should have gotten into stem He'd be good at coding. Yeah. No, I don't think so. I think he's stupid The here's another fun story a woman a woman in Australia. Australia you ready for this a woman admits Trying to sell human toes That were regurgitated by dogs. No way. It's like yahtzee Yes, the woman was working at an animal shelter in Australia when two dogs

Were brought in and the dogs puked up human toes. That's amazing. Yes, and the reason the dogs had eaten the human toes is because the dogs were left alone with their owner that had passed away. Oh my God, dude, so this is what this whole bitch did. This is amazing. So Joanna Catherine Kinman,

she saw the dogs throw up the toes. Snatched them up. Her first thought, she was a sight Oh, I'm getting toes and you know, get them toes for me. Okay, then Well, look at a couple piggies. I'll make a couple piggies taking down the market And that's what she did her first thought was to take the piggies to the market. She put these Human what she does. She she's she'sitated human coat. Well, she does what she does. She's a toe dealer?

No, she's a bone dealer. Bone dealer! Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has other items she's been selling, including an alligator claw, a bird skull, a guinea pig trotter, which I don't know what that means. Feet. Oh, okay.

And her children's teeth. These are all fine. This is none of this is even- I don't think it's fine to sell your children's teeth. Fuck her kids teeth. They're garbage anyway. If you want them good, you take them. That's free money. Yeah. What do you think the Tooth Fairy's money comes from Eddie? She's an active member of the Facebook group Bone Buddies Australia. I bet. And I bet you they do a little bit more than human bones, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah. I bet you they are fucking. Yes, remember when we were in Australia that guy gave us the quokka skull.

Oh yeah, which we had to get rid of because it was bad to have. Yeah well yeah, it's an endangered species and we're not going to travel with it so we didn't take it. No. We left it in Australia where it belongs. Yes. With the other quokkas. Yeah, I threw out a quokka.

He said, he started crying. Yeah, no I was like, Daddy, who's eating my diddy? Yeah, and I'm like, I'm keeping your daddy's skull more diddy? Who's eating me? Diddy? Yeah? I'm like I'm keeping your daddy's skull. He's like that's a quokka shit. That's funny. You did that joke I did that joke there, and I think I've done it on the show But I like it so much that I will continue you're allowed to do it whenever a quokka is mentioned in my presence I will at one point say that's a quokka shit. You're allowed. That's your carrot. That's a guarantee That's a guarantee that is a quack of shit. You're allowed, that's a guarantee. That's a guarantee.

That is a seasoned comedian. But she's using what works. But the idea of it going like, wha, wha, she and the dog go, wha, wha, throw up two toes. And then your first thought is just like, all right, I think it's well called capital. Yeah. How about that, it's the beginning of a business then.

She appeared to believe she could make as much as 400 Australian dollars by selling those toes. That's how oh wow i'll get change of 50 dollars how much do you think you would pay for two toes i'm not marcus well i'm saying well it's he has birthdays every year you know you got to get him something. This seems like an opportunity How do I say this kind of like with the diamonds but the Tiffany diamonds? Yeah fresh human toes Yeah, a hundred bucks So then these were puked by puked up by a dog, but you know, you can that could be worse or that could be better

I'm helping you With these toes. Yeah, obviously if I'm purchasing the toes from you I'm helping you because you shouldn't have the toes Those dogs must have been hungry too because they didn't even chew them up. They just swallowed them They just went after the toes because also you wonder if they were biting them up just to wake try to wake them up. Oh Chewing on his little feet. Yeah, eventually like mmm. Yeah, you ever have that ever have the dog I don't look at a wound. Oh dogs love wounds. Yeah, well, it's like cleaning. It's like a thing Yeah, but you were like stop and stop it. You're gonna taste for blood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what's more of they're just trying to help you

I know but still they're gonna get taste for blood. Oh, yeah, which is good Right. I don't know. I don't want them salivating for it. Oh, I got another toe story. Yeah, Tom Yeah, a driver blames come and go crash on his crocs See you got to be careful when you're driving with the crocs because they do slide off. Yeah, so this guy he drove Missouri man Cuz they do slide off. Yeah, so this guy he drove Missouri man drove a slide off drove straight into a come and go gas station, which is We love our come and goes here. Absolutely. It sounds like he came and stayed But he said his Crocs got caught on the gas pedal and he didn't he couldn't get him off And so he drove straight into the place dude. It's real. You got to be careful

You got to be careful with your crocs. They slide sometimes. My mom driving, I wasn't allowed to drive in my flip flops and I got mad at it, but now reading the story, she's probably right. People do anyway, and I know everyone's like, so cool, everybody's so cool, and you do it, but you gotta be careful, because it could slide off you,

and then it's not cool to be dead. Yeah, it caused $3,720 in damage, which doesn't seem like that much. No. It really doesn't. I feel it. It really is not that bad. No. I guess it's like when it comes down to it, a lot of it's covered by insurance.

And if it's a mistake, they can get past it if they can prove it. Well, I don't know if people believe him or not. For when the cops arrived on the scene, Hammett denied being the driver of his truck and being the one involved but later was like it was the Crocs So yeah, of course it's the Crocs. You gotta be careful I mean, but he denied it and so because he didn't want to be who's gonna be made fun of by the community He's been charged with leaving the scene of an accident where property damage exceeds $1,000 Which is a felony and he is scheduled for May 14th circuit court hearing in Missouri.

He should probably be, I imagine they will look at it. He was not intoxicated? Does not say he was intoxicated, but if convicted, the class E felony, Hammett faces between one and four years in custody, as well as a maximum fine of $10,000. Wow, really? Yeah, so he can get a lot,

well, he left the scene of an accident. It's kind of amazing they literally do that I guess that that is the main thing is leaving the scene in the accident because it's like For like stalking like deadly stalking. It's like the motion gets like five years. It's like it's kind of crazy Yeah, that's a lot of time for that so many things if nobody died Well, she's property area But I'm just saying in terms of this. Yes. If nobody died and it's just property.

That's a lot of time. That's why I brought it up. Yeah, it's like a lot of- Especially if it was an accident. But he did leave. Yes. You gotta take responsibility. You take responsibility, you're probably just paying for the window.

It's just money. And it's mostly covered by insurance. If it's an actual accident, you can prove it. Yeah. Unless of course he left the scene of the accident because he was intoxicated Which is quite possible It happens You got to be careful though because they will come looking for you, and I think it's time

For some listener letters. Oh Do we have any I got one? We after last week first of all one thing that we missed immediately is the video the body cam footage of our lover lady and her five boyfriends, what's her name from Ohio oh yeah, she looks like if She honestly looks like Ringo Starr from that Thomas the Train Engine. Oh, okay.

She does, she has a Ringo. I was going to say the trashy from Fraggle Rock. Somewhere between the two. She looks like if, yeah, she looks like if Teddy Ruxpin had tits. And had no, and you shaved him. And you shaved him, right? She's a rough looking lady. But you know, and you really do shows

when it comes down to it, it's the love finds love. Love and love and love, love finds love, love beats love. Yeah, and if you're gonna commit a crime, do it at a Red Roof Inn. So this woman tortured a man that if you watch the body cam footage, the body cam footage. By the way, I blame you for not bringing

in the body cam footage. You live for body cam footage. The problem is that by the way, I blame you for not bringing in the body cam footage You live for body cam footage. I the problem is that it's really It's not worth it to share on their show because it's so hard to hear It's like it's more important to watch it for everybody's sake to just go say like I saw so many comments people being like I can't believe she's got five boyfriends and I can't get somebody to take me out tonight and it's like Look at the boyfriend. Yeah, you can have one of those boy oh you could have one her name martina jones oh yeah well five and then one that was trying to crawl back martina jones with aaron bradshaw justin brad austin aaron bradshaw austin bradshaw david kasasna chance johnson and michael esqueda these five i'm just gonna go ahead and say literal homeless dog men with their

Central spoke that they all glommed on to like spiders covered in cum if the Manson family was inbred Oh, this is a gross. It's a gross batch But if you watch the so they were torturing a young man that was a part of their I guess He had apparently if you listen to the body cam footage He had confessed I guess to being back into having sexual feelings with marina He was just a friend and then they all decided to haze him back into the fuck circle So what they did was beat him Uh put out cigarettes

He was forced to stand in this room at this Red Roof Inn. And we read a couple of reviews of the Red Roof Inn that they were in last week. And I got a great testimonial from somebody that was an employee at a Red Roof Inn. I love our hospitality workers. I support our hospitality workers. I know working as the cleaning staff of a hotel is a extremely difficult job, and it is a thankless job, and oftentimes you have to see horrific things.

Shout out to the lady working at the Ramada in Jacksonville I was recently staying at, who found me water, because there was no water in the building, and I was dying. The nicest people in the world a lot of times so this comes from one of our intrepid employees of a Wonderful red roof in in Poughkeepsie, New York. Ooh yummy. Yum. I can I can even imagine I Was listening to the most recent side stories and y'all were talking about the man It was beat over the course of seven days at a Red Roof Inn

Well when I was in my early 20s, I worked a days at a Red Roof Inn. Well, when I was in my early twenties, I worked a summer at the Red Roof Inn in Poughkeepsie. Wow, wow, wow. It was awful. And I only lasted two months. Other than the obvious normal stuff of dealing with customers. I got two stories. So I worked checkout, which was 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. The guests did not check out physically at the front desk. You had to knock and check the room This red roof in was pretty small

So I started on the first floor and I got to a door that I had not checked out I knocked and knocked and finally entered it looked empty. I opened the bathroom door into my utter horror I saw a man in a bathtub who had slit his wrists. I called 9-1-1 and from what I heard he was okay Wrists. I called 9-1-1 and from what I heard he was okay All right, this was my first week a sign. I should get the fuck out, but I stayed now I came a red floor in whoa red tile in yeah I also wonder in my mind gets away if I'm ever gonna do it if I'm a commit suicide again I'm doing it where everybody can see me from the front steps of the White House That's actually a good spot to get but I don't think you can get to the steps. Oh, I'm getting there

I don't think you can know it's gonna be a part of my plan Eddie. Mm-hmm First you start from the inside and you start with a tour Okay, and then from there you work your way outside, you know A lot of people think that the back is actually the front so you got to be careful exactly Taking a shit in the Rose Garden. Number two, this is the second story. There was a family staying at a hotel due to being displaced by a fire. I think Red Roof Inn gets a lot of people

that are displaced. And then they decide to go someplace, and you know how they decide to go there? They say, let's go to this place. Yeah. Why would our house burn down? Let's go to another place with a red roof. Exactly. You wanna feel better about our burned out home? It was a house burn down. Let's go to another place with a red roof exactly

You want to feel better about our burned out home? Let's go to a horrible. Let's go to hell itself Again, I don't mind Chitty hotels. I actually I'm fine with shitty hotel. I'm about to exist. I'm about to stay in one I'm about to stay in two I gotta go to Oscoda and I gotta go fuck it back to Palm Harbor Yeah, so I gotta go stay in horrible ones Don't worry. It ain't old Ritz Carlton's for all Zabrowski To these family was shit's Carlton. That's where I'm staying There's a wife husband two little kids and a grandma all staying in one room

We had free breakfast from 8 a.m. To 10 a.m Grandma was down there getting coffee head out to front to smoke a cigarette, and I came back inside and used the lobby bathroom. Because Grandma had to get some tobacco in there. I noticed she was walking weird, but I didn't really pay any attention to it. While cleaning breakfast up, I went to the lobby bathroom to get paper towels.

That's where I realized why grandma was walking funny. There was shit everywhere. Shit on the floor. Shit on the sink. Shit on the toilet. There was hot dookie everywhere. But inside of the toilet. Immediately broke down crying.

Called my housekeeper and begged her to clean it up. I quit soon after. Red Roof. Ah, check it out. You can go after red roof ah check it out You can go visit red roof in out with our code last pod 90 Go get it. I wish it was a big tie-in That would be amazing nothing would make this better than the honeymoon suite over at the red roof in Perfect place to fuck on your period

Go check it out ah red, Red Roof Inn. Better than the brown ass fucking chalet. Do you think they call her Marina because you could park a boat between her tits? Oh, boo. This woman just looks like, you know, she looks like, you know, the fat guy that was in all the trauma movies? Yes. Frank Pellegrino. Yeah, that was his name She has a she runs a tight ship dude if you watch this body cam with this lady She goes like so now and the guy like jumps and gets her phone. She goes like where's my candy? Give my candy she goes and gets his candy real fast She is just fucking these the boys are ready to go there. She's like eat my pussy, and they're like how deep

That is amazing But that's why ladies you gotta got there and ask for more all right live everyday knowing yeah, Marina She might have yeah, of course. She's having sex with the diversion of a bunch of street dogs Alright, but that doesn't mean that you can't get your own harem All right live every day knowing for a fact that you're a fucking free ass woman that just has to be like, yeah sure I don't have my hair and right now her M is him in you don't have your him in yet Right, which is the man harem, right? You don't have your him in yet, right, which is the man harem, right? You don't have your him in yet, but you can laugh knowing for a fact that all you got to do is literally put up a Craigslist

advert that says, pussies got room for four and they will come running. I mean it there. You don't even have to try. All right. Then you can laugh your way to the bank knowing that you have five weird, too skinny mans slaves that you could do anything that you want with because you got the pussy that controls them. Own it girls, get them out there and fucking be the change you want to see. Get a him in. Get a him in.

Honestly, a lot of times the worst part about a male harem is that they never know where their walnut is, they never know where their stuff is. But that's just mostly your job. That's what you're holding the whole thing together. And they're not good at cooking. They are not buddy. But that's just mostly your job. That's what you're holding the whole thing together. And they're not good at cooking. They are not, buddy. Unless it's meth. To be honest, I wouldn't even buy fucking meth from these assholes.

Who do you get your meth from? Brian Cranston. Get a bid you in dot com slash last podcast on the left to pay money to watch us talk. It's that easy. And then you can also pay money to watch us live on patreon 6 p.m Tuesday pacific time live see last dream on the left. It is fun You can yell at us go to last podcast left.com buy tickets to see all over live shows. There are many Yes, there are many and the invasive species tour is about to kick back off Henry's gonna come with me on this one Naples on after the off-the-hook Comedy Club very dangerous place. I can't wait to be there. It's on a Tuesday

So it's gonna get a little salty. Wow check me out there. That's gonna be on May 6th and then May 7th I'm gonna be with Henry at the Fort Lauderdale improv. Yeah Stories I'm gonna do a full set. We got Lisa Correios gonna host it. Also we're gonna be doing quite a bit of crowd work. So it's gonna be very very interesting in Fort Lauderdale. And especially because I know most of the crowd. I can't wait. So they're just gonna be destroying me left and right.

Oh yeah it's gonna be a fucking massacre. Those people are not impressed by my life. I can't wait. May 8th Henry and I will be at the Orlando Funny Bone. That's gonna be a lot of fun. Doing two shows there. The early one sold out so get tickets to that late show. And then May 9th through 11th, I'm going solo

while I'm bringing my wife to Comedy Key West. It's gonna be a lot of fun. I got Lisa Correia open for me on that one as well. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Come check that out. I love Key West. I'm gonna go to the Pirate Museum. I'm gonna do all kinds of things.

I'm gonna go visit Robert We still have to figure out what I'm bringing right to get him a little piece of merch We have to get Robert some merch for sure. We need to get on top of that I don't know what's wrong with me Dad's garage Henry and I are doing side stories at dad's garage June 29th Yeah, the day after our last pod show at the Coca-Cola Roxy the early show for that one is sold out as well So make sure you get tickets to the late show It's gonna be a lot of fun and they're both shows are gonna be completely different because we're entirely improvising both. Yes

We're gonna ask for suggestions from the audience So come and yell at us and give us bad suggestions and then of course The wonderful crime wave at sea crime wave at sea comm slash last To get tickets to see Henry and I on a boat. It is legitimately going to be we're gonna have a blast He's had a meeting with these guys, you know, like oh, so you're just doing the show and we're like, that's crazy We're doing more. Yeah, so we sign up for a bunch of crazy Yeah So we sign up for a meet-and-greet that we're definitely gonna do a nice long meet-and-greet

So we get to meet everyone even though the whole weekends of meet-and-greet Cuz we're gonna see me walking around and then there's gonna be a late-night Even though the whole weekends of Eat and Greet because we're gonna see me walking around and then there's gonna be a late night Party at the last night that we're gonna be a part of and then maybe even a special separate event We are gonna get fucked up. Yeah, we're not coming on this cruise of fucking sit around and do nothing We're coming for your asses to have a good time And then of course at the end of May early June contact in the desert Oh Henry and I are gonna be doing a side stories there as well as well as well as the last podcast Proper a full comedy night with Amber Nelson. It's gonna be a fucking blast

So make sure you come out to contact in the desert and hang out with these weird fuckers And if I can do one last thing Hgx to the Hoopa goo goo game the one we put out last week. It's on YouTube right now The watch it it is probably my favorite episode that we've done. That fucking show is in its pocket. We're taking a little break, but we're going to come back strong. So good. I'm very excited about the show. It's probably my favorite thing that I do because it is truly a return to stupidity. So please watch that one. Watch the whole thing. We got 11 episodes available on the last podcast on the left YouTube channel. So watch all of the Hoopa Googoo game. HGX2. You love it. You fuckers. Also, we have some

special hidden news. Keep your eyes on the feed next week. There might be something special in there beginning to unfold. Yes. We're gonna put it out there. Oh yeah. Put it out. We're gonna have some action. And then we're gonna stick it in. Yeah. And then stick it out there Yeah, and then stick it out right back in number of its sex Hail sex education in America Hail peanut the squirrel. Thank you for your new law you guys be good to yourselves and we'll talk to you next week. He died for a reason. That's all you can ask for. Because he potentially had rabies.

Yep. That's the reason.