Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Semen-Tainted Flutes

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: the Wayfair conspiracy, Britney Spears, a music teacher donates semen-tainted flutes, and MUCH MORE.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop on the left side stories That's one of the cannibalism started The side stories, yes I am recording Recording little boy is a boy who records Everything he does, it's me except for my shits. I save that for my family. You don't record your shits I know I save it for I save it just for me and my my We have separate bathrooms, so it's nice so I could just poop in my own pooping bathroom

You have to have intimacy because when it's lost then you end up like Will Smith getting berated by your wife who cheated on you It's a long story. We can't even step into this world. My one world. I will step into it's like, okay I've ordered furniture from Wayfarer. Sure, right? I've ordered furniture from there and for the most part Honestly when it arrives, it's pretty dinged up. Yeah, like I had to go I put together this DVD like this media console, right to be like four hours and covered in blood by the end of it And at the end of it, I'm just like I'm doing all this stuff way for and then they're saying they're Shipping all of these children internationally and honestly if I can't Trust them to send me a DVD media

Console without dings in it. How am I gonna? I'm gonna give you 15 grand to sell me the kids I've turned into soup as I said on abling its top at I'll take the kid if they put together their furniture It's the kid put together the furniture. Give me the kid. That's like a task rabbit But it's a task rabbit that I guess that you can film and then sell send those tapes to the government And then they watch them all together in Congress. Yes, they do. Hey, what's up everyone? Welcome to side stories I am Ben with Henry What the hell has happened when it comes to conspiracy this week has been The gift that keeps on getting crazier and crazier and crazier. Oh my good things are just

Wackety fucking schmackety. I will we will just address this up top. Yeah way fair is being implicated in a reddit centered Conspiracy theory saying that they were openly Trafficking children on their website by selling these essentially these $15,000 cabinets that had names like Sadia they had names like they had very specific Children's names that people then were trying to attach to the records of missing children saying that they under the guise of selling furniture Wayfair was selling these absurdly expensive cabinets Though that is the price of the cabinet those are very good cabinet you heard mr. Wayfair CEO mr

Thomas Wayfair Thomas Wayfair thoroughly denied that they were using the furniture company to traffic children I don't know why it did seem like the thing that they were most upset was like our pricing is accurate Okay, yes, you can say we're having sex with children Sure, you can say we're smuggling children But our pricing here at Wayfair has never not been exactly that way fair Well, they did there's a lot of bullshit attached to this story. So number one Wayfair came under some heat a little while ago for selling Furniture to ice right for these these various for the detention center in Texas that was housing migrant children It got into a lot of trouble now

It's sold two hundred thousand dollars versus furniture to ice and so there's some now with this weird So they already kind of had bad blood and I didn't know this to be completely frank I didn't know that they did this when I was purchasing furniture from where Wayfair I was just getting a media console, but you know you know the kids are putting together this furniture and that Furniture is not staying in any of the facilities. I guarantee you there is some bizarre Child labor camp going on near the southern border where all of these kids are toiling away on Putting together all of the furniture that ends up in some suburban Texas home There is something going on with that that is like alright guys

Leave the kids alone. I say let them go free. Oh, they just they really good very good kissal Yeah, release the children force to build furniture I don't know if that's true But I don't know if that's a part of the the new rollout of vodka and Trump That's where it just says find a different job. Is it one of those? Is that a part of that government outreach? I'm not quite sure is it gonna be us, but they Wayfair has come out set and it's true It seems like these were industrial strength Cabinets perfect for holding a child, but they were it they were not industrial strength steel

Cabinets that are often sold between ten and fifteen thousand dollars because they're used for restaurants And they're used for supply like supply warehouses They're just big old things but there was nothing in the details of The the actual items when you touch it to say why did this thing cost fifteen thousand dollars So it's more of a glitch and a loophole because Wayfair is not Wayfair doesn't make its own furniture. Yes Wayfair is an umbrella company that people Basically they can sell furniture lines through Wayfair under the umbrella of Wayfair. Yes

It's it's basically just the deal. I mean we we do not have to get into the ins and outs of this But it is just the delivery service. It's just a platform very similar to Amazon It's just a it's just like a warehouse will have a whole bunch of different goods from different companies and they house them there That's all that that is but when it comes to Wayfair the interesting thing to all of this is that people are looking for Child sex rings now more than ever and the problem is the truth does not lie on Wayfair.com the truth lies like anywhere that billionaires are the truth is obscene Just laying Maxwell who also just got denied bail With you know, that's one we actually got one in the win column this week where she was finally not allowed bail like she ever like

What are we doing here Galena Galena is about to win a silver medal for Gymnastics because she is going to be flipping so hardcore. It is going to be insane I can't wait, but that way Epstein is the that is that's a child's trafficking Thing that you are looking for that is the story look for stories like that and what do we know about Epstein? Absolutely, nothing. We know very very little how we made his money. We know very little about the various connections We don't know how far he went. We don't really know if he was working for intelligence or not It's all of this like shadows and mirrors that is where child trafficking in connection with the secret keeping mechanism of the government Or that is where it's at Wayfair is

A place where you get a shitty coffee table that you had to put together You got to put it together you do all the works on you do all the work is on you and so to me It's it's it they don't need to hide in plain sight They are already hiding in hidden away sight and we need to find them But I understand why people they got really upset what it actually did was point out that Wayfair has a massive loophole Where they are not correctly looking at the things that are on their website because then they pulled everything down Because at first they're like well, these are just cabinet said these cost $15,000

Then you notice they pulled it all down because you know with somebody at the higher levels of Wayfair was like Why the fuck is this pillow cost $9,000 and they never looked at it they never even thought of looking deep into the things that they were selling because maybe Somebody's asleep at the fucking wheel and now you're being accused of child sex trafficking now when you type in Wayfair The thing that pops up in Google after it is child sex trafficking instead of like Wayfair review Sure, can I get Can I buy a freestanding glory hole on Wayfair? No, I just wanted another liquor shelf

I fell on the last one completely shattered it because I drank all the liquor on it and I need a new one I need a new one and that's what should pop up. Can you imagine if you ordered a large? Whatever from Wayfair and just you open up the cabinet and it's just please sir. May I have some more milk? What happened why would anyone order a child? I'll never understand but this is interesting though Henry because Unlike Pizzagate Where do you where do you go like let's say and this is true like Henry and I? I'm going to speak for you. This is a triggering thing for mental illness Like yes, where does the person who is investigating this Wayfair conspiracy air quotes?

We also have a Britney Spears conspiracy We have to get to because always free Britney always team Britney love bald Britney Lee Britney the F alone But where does somebody go with this Wayfair conspiracy? Do you think this just kind of peters out or does someone go shoot up a frickin warehouse? I mean we'll find out we'll decide how far people want to go and how far that they are refusing to believe you know Snopes debunked it news. We got newsweek fucking They are using the only information that came out about the story came from a redditor that they just did newsweek Is using that as their primary source newsweek is dog shit it is

We're we're in a land where there is very little tangible information like we're looking at this story It feels like it's a massive glitch. It does there's all these weird tenuous conspiratorial connections to everything like they also said if you take the number of the skew and you put it in this Russian It's a Russian Google Washington Russian internet search. I believe it's called Google log. No, that's that's honestly. That's their Etsy Where people sell things that they make in their their citizen jails? Oh Oh, there's a Russian search engine called Yandex that apparently if you put the skew number of

The various things on the website into their into the search of the Wayfair products you want to get yeah And then you type in SRC USA It would these random pictures of little girls would show up not nude but little girls pictures would show up But apparently it's not just those skews. It's any series of random numbers that you put in and then type SRC USA afterwards and then apparently it's very similar to it's one of those weird image Aggregate sites where it's like kind of like 4chan or an 8chan where anybody could do so they they all that and I think called IMG SRC has also had problems with child porn

So these things are kind of in this weird murky area where you're now just searching on a child porn website To find out if Wayfair is selling children and you're implicated yourself. You're pulling the old Yeah, you're gonna be like the lead singer of the who when you're getting cuffed and dragged out of your apartment being like I was doing research. It was for research and then your neighbors are like never go over to Mr. Peters house again. He was doing Research on little boys butts the thing is there is dry research and there is wet research And it's about what kind of what level do you want to be at? What level do you want to be at so who knows? I don't know how that hopefully this I think it will just Peter

Yes, this is just people need to Get out of their homes, but I do like we can we're locked in when you force people to be on the internet 24 7365 Now Wayfair, they don't just sell furniture. They sell children. You did this to us You made us go down this rabbit hole because we're just staring at the screen and we're like no way. That's just a cabinet No way. No goddamn way. That's a cabinet. No new TV. There's no sports There's no distractions for anybody. Everybody's going insane. Well speaking of celebrities young ladies Britney Spears there is and conspiracy

This one I think holds a little bit more than even the largest Wayfair cabinet There is something going on with Britney Spears and she is talking. I feel like I'm going crazy Maybe it is because I just had a bunch of whiskey last night because I celebrated Having my stuff come to the new house And I do also have to admit that I did some very controversial dog training, but we're not going to get into that right now Oh, no, this isn't about teaching LJ to make love to you. No, it is not This is about teaching the dogs how to use the wee wee pads Oh, yeah, you have to because I think they got a free they got a free ball it

But do you know what I did what you did and I don't even know if this I don't even know We'll get into Britney, but I don't know I don't know if this is like how you do it or not Reach outside stories LP otl a gmail.com if you're a vet to honestly, we do need help to housebreak these pets Yes, we do so I'm the alpha dog. I'm big dog Ben I'm the Roman Reigns. This is my yard. Okay. Yeah, you're six with seven human I'm but I'm the I'm saying in the house This is a dash on Chihuahua and a and a Japanese spits that I'm talking to and I'm I'm the number I'm the lead dog you guys follow right and then of course I get daddy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I run around I pick up dog shit

What I did was and now correct me and then I might have to edit this depending on Henry's reaction because I don't know How bad this is I went around the house and I took a pee on every single weewee pad and I said now This is where you pee dogs and then you know what happened. They have peed there ever since I saw peas I peed on every single weewee pad and I said Jerry puffin Puppets peeing on the weewee pad. See that's where you pee and yes, I did that I am afraid to go inside your home But I I will say It works it works because there was a poop and a pee putting on these just a just too much pissy just a little bit Just letting them know you just zapped it. Just I zapped it

So I got out of the pool because the pool makes you pee You know that because you're surrounded by water and you say let's add a little bit more Yeah, sure, and they a lot of times you've either been drinking beers or you've been drinking a lot of water But yeah, sometimes being in the water does make me want to pee. Yeah, so you have to be so I said, okay I'm gonna teach these dogs how to use the damn weewee pads So I went to the three weewee pads and put a little pee on all of them And it seemed to work and the dogs look to me only thing that matters I don't know. I don't know if that works. So side stories LP ot l a gmail.com am I the greatest dog genie of all time?

Or is that just a completely inappropriate? I don't know the answer, but I know it works. legitimately I think you're becoming a dog Like that you becoming a dog like you are you are moving from Man to dog and they're connecting with them because you are like because they're like a bigger brother You're think you're literally they're like, huh? It's cool to go on the weewee pad. That's what you did Travis's reaction is not good for the next five years. She would spend her life living as a dog No, this was a weewee pad training technique. It was a technique Well, if it if it holds up it holds up this training does hold up you technically could write a dog rearing book

Like you could if it works Because I don't want to hit I don't want to like Corporal punish a tiny dog. No because you're not going because you can't go in the house. No, exactly I I woke up today and it's like this is my life now 38 years old and I saw pee on the weewee pads And I was just like so happy. I was so happy. No, this is your mommy. You're a mommy dog It's your mommy dog now speaking of mommy dogs I'm just you know, what's weird is that I had a bigger reaction to you not using towels and this is actually Like I actually kind of like understand the quarantine alone

Logic of it like I understand the logic of it and if it works it shows that you're deeply communicating with puffin Like in a strange way that I didn't expect you like doctor do little but for piss and shit I'm honestly, I'm like it's like all absorbing like one layer at a time each inch that gets deeper in my brain I go, okay. Sure. Yes. Okay. You give people news to kiss will give people news unable to stop that Well, it's a lot anyway speaking of communicating Britney Spears She is on her Instagram somebody posted a comment on Britney Spears is Instagram saying if you are in trouble If you're being detained against your will wear a yellow shirt the next series of photos were her

In a yellow shirt. What's going on? We're definitely in Page seven territory a little bit But I want to talk about the idea of what she is being put under a thing called a Conservatorship, okay, so Britney Spears in 2008 was after suffering several mental breakdowns This comes from the USA today today.com article by Alyssa Newcomb She the arrangement was always been kind of controversial with her fans. She is like she has been under essentially a version It's not house arrest, but this conservatorship where what does that mean is watched over by her family her father

To the her woods She's in a guardianship with her father and he allows her to be to that That allows that does not allow her to be the sole decision-maker about her life and finances right now It's rumored that Britney Spears is worth 59 million dollars. She has no access to her own money What she has to be given an allowance? She's allowed to only see certain people her father Controls her entire life isn't her dad the one that like I don't know I understand that kids do want to perform and I think that's great But the Mickey Mouse Club and all of that stuff. Yes, it's like would you ever do that with your kid?

You have a seven-year-old and they're like she likes the thing We better bring her to the audition. They can't drive themselves. I just feel like Pedophiles are yeah, I would never bring my child into impress a pedophile No The whole point of being an actor is to get through the brain of a pedophile and it appears so childlike in your talent and wonder That they grow attracted to your abilities. Wow So that's the that's the real key to be childlike, but in your soul. Oh, isn't that nice? Uh, technically that is very good. Stay young forever young if you can

So do you think that ever young? Do you think that she is being abused though? Well, it sounds like she is being heavily guarded There was the funny little thing a viral thing that came out on her Instagram not too long ago Where she casually said that she knocked over a candle and burnt down her entire gym Then there is the various yes, you should look that up. Yes She basically burnt down the gym in her own. She burnt down her whole gym with a candle Hi guys, I'm in my gym right now I haven't been in here for like six months because I've burnt my gym down unfortunately

I had two candles and Yeah, one thing led to another and I burned it down if you it took a lot of power. It's a lot of Knocked over the candle things catch fire. You go. Oh, no. Oh No, but as you watch it slowly consume the structure What's in her gym? It's full of steel. I mean gyms are not necessarily the most Flammable of all the things I think they're just behind a pool as far as flammability goes Depends on the house. Did you outfit a gym or did you have a ballroom? Literally, did you have a ballroom that you turned into a gym?

It depends on how big and and what type of house she's got it sounds like she's like it's not like it's like a hotel Right, she's got a room in her mansion. Whatever her compound is, right? But she so that was one thing seems like she's getting a little unstable And there's a lot of people talking about on her Instagram that she appeared unstable and she appeared kind of wild I then this yellow shirt thing happened Someone said hey if you're in trouble in her Instagram comments, right? Where are you where's something yellow and yeah or this yellow outfit and then did a video that is fairly Concerning where it's her looking with her doll eyes in the camera because she's very shaky not blinking weird smear to make up

Doing this weird Jon Benet Ramsey style Shuffle back and forth off on and off camera. Don't know what the hell that's about then she posted a Thing from she posted a quote From our undaughty Roy was called she won't she wore flowers in her hair and carried magic secrets in her eyes Which was just a picture of a rose, but it's a if the book that our undaughty Ro Roy wrote was called the god of small things is a story about the childhood experiences of fraternal twins Whose lives are destroyed by the love laws that lay down who shouldn't be loved and how and how much right? I won the Booker Prize in 1997

Huh? All right, I think that that's another dog whistle. That's another like hi. Hello, right? These are these this is me telling you that I am in trouble, but we have no because Brittany is now Basically saying everything's cool like she's trying to act like everything's cool But there's a lot of people wondering is she a prisoner very similar to Richard Simmons Which then people say is he a prisoner or is he? Actually just voluntarily staying inside which some people say is true because Richard Simmons doesn't want people to see him

Because he's got hip and he's got the hip and feet problems Yeah, I want to see anybody see in him like less than a hundred percent leave Richard Simmons alone and if anybody Doubted that those videos back in the 80s those exercise videos by Suzanne Summers They were low-key porno and if you don't believe that then you If you the proof of that is you never saw a man watching Richard Simmons You never saw a dude watching the dirt my mother loved the Rick the Richard Simmons I love them, but I'm telling you there was some there was a strange compromise in America in the 80s where it's like you can Watch this woman work out and show a lot of her body

Under the guise of being healthy and that is a lot of the relationship, but you can't do that anymore. It was great It's great back in the day. It was great I don't know what the hell's gonna happen with this story. I honestly think that she is just a she's a troubled girl I don't know if she should be in the Troubled woman. I don't think she should be necessarily under the guise of just her father, but I don't know I did this is outside of my prerogative She doesn't have a boyfriend that also looks like fairly annoyed like he she's always making them do like viral videos and stuff But I tell you what she's looking tight. She's amazing. All this is work out. This is the luckiest man alive

It's like what like like what what's the name of the the the guys from Boston? Wallaberg, it's like Donnie Wallaberg being married to Jenny McCarthy You do see like it is hard because you I've heard her on Instagram like But you forget Jenny McCarthy's annoying to somebody like Mike the woman that taught me how to nut as a boy Ruins a guy's afternoon She didn't actually touch me. No, I don't think Jenny McCarthy didn't actually molest me Well speaking of molestation. Mr. Zabrowski. This is a kind of a special side story is in a strange way There's a lot of a lot of current news that really hits home here. Obviously check out page seven

I'm sure that Jackie will have a lot to say about Britney talking about John Tra obviously he lost his wife Kelly man. Oh man. John is gonna be gayer than ever soon. Well, so I'm Him I don't know if they will I don't know who knows he might have an arrangement where he's allowed to Come out at some point where they can't lose John Tra John Tra might be too important to the public face of Scientology because also Tom Cruz has said there's been rumors for a while that he's trying to get out Really could live his real life, but I have no clue. What's real and what's not real seems like every once in a while They there's like a PR story that's floated up saying Tom Cruz is gonna get out Well, and again, I don't know check out page seven. This is extremely entertaining when it comes to

Being gay obviously that used to be much more controversial So Scientology used to use that as like this is the leverage and now it's like that. No one I want you out there, but I mean mourn a little bit He should mourn a little bit Before he starts with the car I feel like he's gonna get into that level where he's gonna be like Nathan Lane from the bird cage For like six months before it all comes back around. All right enough celebrity gossip Page seven check that out. Okay, Henry. You have you ufology has

I just want to it has not been a great week for you guys has it and I'm putting now I am now I am lumping you into this. No, it's not me. I got nothing to do with this I just been touting the name of Mufon for fucking years now I find that yon harzan like the international director of it. Just he just tried to buy a child and furniture store Yon harzan he is the head of the UFO mutual network Mufon obviously he was arrested July 3rd accused of soliciting a 13-year-old girl You look at a picture of this guy. He looks like a televangelist actually

Strangely not what I would expect from the head of Mufon some handsome boys that move on There's not a lot, but they mostly move up the chain to the executive area. Yeah, yon. Oh God yon got a 13-year-old girl He was he was arrested on charges of soliciting a minor quote according to police for the purpose of engaging in sexual activity Yon harzan has headed Mufon since 2013 He is accused of again quote soliciting sexual activity from it from a detective. He believed Was a 13-year-old girl again this detective? I hope that the detective did not finish the job Again, that's a South Park episode that I want to reference

No, the same episode it's literally the same episode can you imagine that Henry you're like Oh, I'm here to meet a 13-year-old girl and when I hear the word detective. I'm just being stereotypical I think of the fat guy from Batman in 1989. I mean like exactly. I'd be like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I bet Yeah, it's him showed up with fucking pigtails and a big old lollipop. I mean like yes So where do you want to go? You want to go out of like where the slide is you want to go over with ice cream shop? It's like ooh. Yes, little girl. Ooh, you are a little bit worse for the wear But beggars gave me choose a 13 you say. Yeah. Yeah, 13. That's right. Yeah, 13 years and dog years but

Yon-Harsen has been a now he's another stain and move on move on said a lot of problems move on obviously has to Has to change moose up move on's been plagued with a lot of the various local level problems And I think move on should be replaced with a new group. Really. I've I've been talking with a couple of dudes So there's a couple of people out there that I whose work. I love John Tenney We interviewed John Tenney on patreon absolutely fantastic guy You can go and check that out also this week's episode of patreon We interview saline calderon about the lori valo chat debil case. So you want to start a whole nother Thing Henry. Yes. Yes. We really should we should start a whole other thing. We should just start from the bottom up

We got there with their resources. We can get our hands on I've been watching hanger one on Netflix the move on show They don't have a hanger one when it shows the beginning episode of all the guys walk it into the big warehouse It's like the Indiana Jones artifacts place where they put the Ark. They don't have that There is nothing there move on doesn't read they have very little infrastructure They they take all the money that they can at the up top and then they don't give to anything basically field researchers have to Scrimp for everything they had to pay for their own gas money They they basically give hours and hours of work just to have Rianne Harzan Like fuck with everything just to have him ruin everything so when it comes out that we need a new group

You should also check out the mad scientist pod because these guys do really good work on UFOs and fun Alternate science a lot kind of stuff and there's just just got to be another way and Move on has been around since 1969 it claims to be the largest and most detailed or claims to have the largest and most detailed database of UFO sightings This guy obviously he's been there for seven years now I mean it is

John Harzan is no this is This this is not something new for move on Henry was mentioning some of the some of the scandals apparently in 2018 a former state director John Venter he made comments racist comments about African-Americans and said that we're experiencing quote white genocide What is it well like what what's going on? It's just there's very little oversight and anybody can run these chapters and basically you pay money To get a franchise Move on chapter. Okay, where'd you go? So basically you pay into the central hub You get to call yourself a move on chapter. So really anybody can do it

And he just gets to a point where it started as a place for responsible UFO researchers to be that's where that was to start it was official and it just it's kind of just gone off the rails It it needs And a complete a total restart. I love that idea John Taney get on it be the start be the change You want to see in the world according to Chris Cogwell? He's a move on's former director of research. He left because of a cult quote racist culture He says the main leadership levels of move on have been problematic for a number of years and provides essential Essentially nothing to the individual chapters which are for the most part run by decent intelligent and caring members of

Their community he goes on to say although everyone is entitled to the assumption of innocence until proven guilty This is a heinous charge. I cannot foresee any possibility of move on continuing but hope the individual chapters can put their time and Energy into an organization that will benefit them as much as they benefit it So no we need to do it. We and we got to do we got to take it back The people got to take control people that are genuinely interested in UFOs week. We need fucking we need a diverse group of people Can we get a woman in there? Just one woman in there. I think an anger one

There's just not a single woman on any one of these show like I know Natalie's into UFOs She's a hot lady. It's super to UFOs. I know they're there out there We need to get shit go we need to get we got to change the whole even world of ufology and honestly During this time period. We got a lot of time. Yes, and maybe this is that what this is one of those kind of like weird Silver linings to what we're going through right now is like maybe this is the time to rebuild another one of the institutions The only thing less seen than UFOs are women in ufology. So please unfortunate. Yes, absolutely With that I would like to to say this one story about how that there is a massive UFO flap happening in Ohio, which I think is very interesting here. It is all over the place the

UFO awareness day was this week, right? It was it was in the beginning of July And this stuff it's it's kind of crazy. It looks like one of these one was a disappearing white orb Which appeared of the Cleveland sky in June 2nd? There was another go orb seen in Strong'sville. Whoa Um, there was a golden fireballs were seen in Oberlin There is a fuck ton of these if you look at the the Ohio Well, we got here at the a new fork. Org. This is a through the website I was talking about the other day and you f orc. Org. They have a great doing series of sightings by

State per month. Okay, right now Ohio is sitting at it over 2,800 And it's got a huge huge amount awesome If you look at these amount these fucking holy shit just since 2020 It's been a massive amount of sightings just on this shit have sightings increased since the pandemic And do you think people are paying more attention now or sci-fi sci-fi sightings are up? Okay, so we talked about a little bit with John Tenney when we did our interview with him Sightings are up and I think it's got a lot to do with people looking at the sky And they're being a lot of attention put to it. You got Marco Rubio saying that we need to really talk about

With the what is the actual UFO research mechanism of the US government? He's not just saying that to ignore from every single thing That might be like the greatest reach for a politician ever to be like what about taxes what's going on with the economy? Have we thought about UFOs? Have we thought about that though? Have we thought about I think we should take some time out of this busy day of talking about how was trying to defund the position Well, what we should do is talk about one time Yes, small gray

entity he placed a white rod To my forehead and I woke up And the only way to describe is that some people say spread eagle, but I'm gonna say spread condor Because my ankles my left ankle was at my right shoulder. Uh-huh. Am I right ankle? Was that my left shoulder, right? And my left ankle was at my right shoulder and the only way I could describe it is that it was a family of probes We're put inside of me and they think they were joking about calling me a rack of lamb. Wow. Wow

So senator, what does that have to do with? Increased testing when it comes to COVID We got to get these UFOs before they start they got to stop making my but a hot dog part You know what you've got my vote as long as you go to therapy That sounds that's great. All right, so horrible story horrible story Yeah, yeah, move on. It's got to change move on as to change just just as a beginning You have to be like ufology needs to get in the hands of the new generation of people that are curious Smart young and ready to go like I really do think so

I think that we need it because I will say any person that I've met on the road for move on It's never it's never the coolest person. It's usually the security guard that works at our shows and that's what we love them I do love them. Yeah, yeah, and Harzan who knows what the hell is gonna happen with this guy again And I'm not giving advice to someone who wants to solicit an underage child But it's never a 13 year old No, 13 year old is ever like yeah that you have Oh cock. That's the thing. I'm craving today It's like no no 13 year old wants to see you old weird man So no one wants to have sex. No one wants to have sex with someone who has the same name as the middle Brady child

You can't Jan is it? It's not a good masculine name. It is not Oh, all right. Well speaking of Crazy stories and disgusting content, you know music teachers This story is disgusting music teachers gonna bad rap a lot of people say, oh, what do they even teach? How are the kids learning? I have a great. I had a great music teacher The teachers are great. I love music teachers. They get but I'm just saying sometimes they get diston However, in this case the the criticism might be valid apparently a music teacher he He gave a bunch of seamen tainted flutes to a bunch of children and

It's just okay. Let's break this down. So this is the headline music teacher who photographed girls using seamen tainted flutes get 18 gets 18 year prison sentence I'm glad he's got 18 years. Yeah, my headline here from the Los Angeles Times is music teacher linked to seamen tainted flutes Pleads guilty to child pornography charges. So there's a lot of ways to approach it, huh? Do you know that if it's seamen tainted if a bubble comes out at the end of the flu? I actually don't want to know how they figured this out because somebody literally must have been like Why does this taste like like an old like my uncle's oysters? I can't even I can't even with this shit. All right. So the California Attorney General's office announced that his name is John Zaretsky's

He's got a statement. He's he was indicted last year. So he ran a program called flutes across the world an Organization that allowed thousands of children all of the country to decorate flutes What is this program? What is this? I don't know such this is like this is like where the Wayfair shit Starts to make sense like why you're crazy. You think it's real because this man ran a charity where he distributed Flutes flutes distributed them. Hey Henry. I have an idea. We're gonna stall. We're gonna solve all the problems. What is it been? Flutes no, but if it's if there's no calm on those flutes, that's a nice idea But why would it what would a flute even do if you're all of a sudden you're just making them homeless cartoon characters

You're missing you're missing. Oh, no, no Your caricature of a homeless man is a man with a bindle and a flute Yes, you ever saw a Husker a busker a person No, they never have cash like Curtis low. They never have flutes their lips or is dehydrated It's very difficult to play a flute. That's true when you all you've been drinking is is the ripple. All right, you have to be Hydrated and and you have to have a type of lip. It's actually a whole thing You have a very structure of lip But this was supposed to be a nice program where kids who wanted to play the flute because they're I believe Natalie talked

About how she wanted to play the flute But they ran out of flutes because Claire Nets Overviewed it sort of the nerdy instrument a flute seemed kind of fun And I think it was it seemed kind of fun because of Jethro toll Exactly is this the Jethro toll effect as soon as they gave him best metal album or best rock album and beating out Metallica What is going on with the flute with this was supposed to spread awareness of Flutes where children in the program you go and you buy a flute if you get a flute through flutes across the world One child gets its fresh flute, right?

And then they would send the other flute to another child another country a nice idea, right? But according to the Orange County Register Deputy Attorney General Amanda Conceas told the Gregory that Zaretsky he then Oh, he filmed or photographed himself Ejaculating into the flutes Well either into a hotel room or at his home and then the music teacher then photographed the children Using the flu This is like next level Disgusting

With the flutes he's got all the flutes and he's putting common the flutes and none of this is good Because it's not like it's a fun Like if a bunch of consensual dudes thought it would be fun to come into a bunch of flutes and like play it into each other's mouths Or everybody had this idea of like if you wanted to do the consensually, you know You full of flutes all chock full of common and you spit it out at somebody like I'm fun Yes, I don't know something you do on your 40th birthday Whatever you do at a bachelor party like special right party something anything That's fun. Yeah, if it's all consensual and everyone's an adult. I think that's great

But this is the opposite of that so in 2009 Zaretsky founded flutes across the world as Henry was talking about It's a nonprofit through which he contracted He contracted with schools to help children craft and decorate PVC pipe flutes and when you hear that they're PVC pipe It's even more disgusting that I don't reason and then they shows the photo of the photos of him With just a flute in each hand wave of the flutes push in the flutes on these kids I

Just keep two really big finger holes and some of these drawings of flutes Fipple in 2017 officials warned parents in seven California school districts of the potential contamination of the flutes they received School school children participating in the program would make two flutes one for themselves and one for a child in need and I guess at some point Zaretsky would come in the flutes. No, he did it the one I'm not gonna say he did it the one time. I'm not gonna say that's the only time he succumbed to this I think you do this once you do it like a million times. Yeah, I definitely didn't seem like a new idea

But he has here on this whiteboard this a picture him with a whiteboard and says to-do list and it says finish decoration give away flute Tie on yarn sure tie on photo right? No sure decorate back of photo and finished persons for their flute sure But then it says it's like a race of the bottom and then it says Come in the flute come in maybe he's making the kids do it, too. Oh Oh, I don't know at least it didn't get that far Yeah, the orange is that good to say at least it didn't get that far where he was training his students I guess if you're trying to find the brighter side to this again check out the brighter side LPN great great time to plug that if you're trying to find the silver lining

I guess that's better, but that's devastated a day It's this episode is surprisingly disgusting awful dark The Orange County Register reported that state attorneys accuse the recce of a group recording himself ejaculated in the flirt and They have him The way you're reading over it It's like a father trying to catch up to the night time where he is in the nighttime story for his kids No, don't just it's just over these details. I'm sorry

He ejaculated into the flutes And then he gave them to five elementary school girls either way this guy probably should not be teaching and probably needs to Ah, he needs to go get some rehabilitation I guess I'm thinking you're right I think you're right. I I just this whole country needs a fucking restart I need a restart man We really do need to sit and think about the way we are living our lives You know what we have to do unplug it plug it back in

1515 seconds wait 15 seconds plug it back in so this comes our for one of our favorite newspapers the Daily Mirror Um, what we love this story and you know, honestly, and what a great just they are always on the mark It are always super great reputation that they have This good. It's just called ghostbusters discover groans and cemetery. They're investigating are from a midnight porn film shoot Now this comes from Steven Jones, I'm just happy these ghost investigators got to see a booby before they died Hey ghost investigators get a lot more butt than UFO investigators. I am gonna tell you that that is true So real life ghostbusters are discovered moans and groans in a cemetery. They're investigating

We're from a we're from a midnight porn movie shoot The group were stunned to stumble across a couple having sex amongst the tombstone surrounded by men Filming with cameras and sound equipment the disused 19th century graveyard and skill coats East York's is meant to be haunted with ghouls Kids singing ring around the roses and ghostly monks including one called Henry wandering around Ironically when the duo realized that they were being watched by strangers the woman reacted like she'd seen a ghost The guy ran after her desperately trying to protect his privates from the brambles This

Cuz this comes from the guy too good job with all 12 people on the tour were adults because some Sometimes kids come along one elderly man was so incensed he was ready to chase after them with his walking stick But I persuaded him to calm down and eat his sandwiches wait was this during the day No, this is at night They were doing a ghost walk at night with a tour group and an old man was just eating a sandwich while going on the ghost tour You're hungry. I guess so you should have seen me the first time I went on that ghost tour in New Orleans I almost brought my po-boy from for the very mark. I Wanted to but I felt like I was gonna already be more I was already a mark

I mean sitting there with a big thing full of cage and shrimp going like yeah, so we raped her in there Like I felt like that was a lot I will because you're also To be fair to everyone who does a ghost tour you are the worst You are because you are like Like you are such if you had a po-boy, I think that you would just get punched in the face We went with French Quarter Phantoms again when we were back in New Orleans when we were filming our live shoot and they fucking crushed it They took us on a private tour and they didn't say anything about my eating habits once even though they took us to a restaurant Oh, yeah, the ends with we won't saw a monk walking through the cemetery, but nothing like this

Nothing right you're right Yeah, how was what do you mean you saw a monk walking through the cemetery? Yeah, of course that doesn't compare to two people having sex on camera How was that even close to equivalent of excitement? I feel like nowadays what they'll start doing is looking for now. That's porno shoot hunting. That's your new thing Where do you go looking to see where people are doing new? Covid-safe porn shoots and I'm actually here in Los Angeles Yep, and ironically you'll probably find an actual ghost because the ghost know that you're hunting for it

You got to go 4d chess You're hunting for porno and then you'll find the ghost all right Well speaking of creepy topics this week's hero of the week is a cryptid and it's coming to us from Alabama And it is called the Alabama white thing. I just want to make this year of the week Why I think I just want to make this year of the week because I don't think we talk enough about cryptids in the wonderful world of the Large beyond and I believe in this white thing Alabama cryptid. It's basically an albino bigfoot That's what they say so it's an albino cryptid. Does that mean it's like Extra maligned within the cryptid world or maybe it's seen as a god. It has glowing red eyes

it has sort of a kangaroo head kind of like cat-like head and People have been seen it since the 1900s It occurred it usually occurs in a triangle between Morgan Edoa and Jefferson counties people have reported sightings in Walnut Grove Moody's Chapel Happy Hollow and Wheeler Wildlife Refuge Just to name a few so this is a new cryptid out there on the scene. I mean relatively speaking when it comes to cryptids It's only been around since the 1900s. It's having fun. It's got the cat It's got the head of a cat the creature sounds like a woman screaming other reports have said that has a foul odor like that of a Dead animal and

Whatever it is the Alabama always smell bad. They always spoil. They don't shower But Wendy but my dog doesn't really shower, but I like to her little doggy smell. Yeah, they're cute So this is the year of the week It is the Alabama white thing if you a white thang. I'm sorry if you're out in Alabama, please This is a fun thing to do during COVID You can you can do you can socially distance because you will have no friends because you do this So I know you'll be alone, but go find the Alabama white thing. See if you can't get it on footage See if you can't get it on videotape send it to us and we'll show it on the live stream

I would absolutely I would adhere to that I would love that and actually have a listener letter from Bigfoot because you will live not from Bigfoot from it's a Bigfoot related Let's do it. I was born and raised in Western, Washington on a small peninsula on the Puget Sound It's all pretty thick forest lots of evergreen and maple and in some places There are energies that are hard to explain unless you believe in the native legends I lived on native land and it was a little trailer park on the edge of some woods with a horse pasture across the road Since I was very young, I would walk through those woods frequently and heard some chilling noises drumming on trees Sometimes surrounding you coming from every direction long slow whistling coming from the woods at night and strange whoops and calls

That sound different than any animal that I know to live out here because they say the Bigfoot makes like a Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's like toolman the toolman Okay, it is Especially with his views on women Don't malign the Sasquatch one instant stands out though I was at 16 and we were walking from the suburb like neighborhood to my boyfriend's at the time And as the houses thinned it was nothing with thick evergreens on one side of us and the horse pasture on the right Hmm, we both got the feeling to turn around what we saw chilled us to the core a

Massive humanoid was sauntering down the road towards us and so around 10 feet tall and its huge soldiers were swaying with its long bulky arms hanging at its side as it walked slowly on the shoulder It was dusk so the woods were dark behind it and the sky was a bluish gray still pretty light out The thing was absolute pitch black as if devoid of color and the feeling we got when we saw it was hard to describe We actually weren't afraid of the encounter even bears were common, but this thing was unreal Hmm, we turned it without a word walk the five hundred feet so to his house 500 feet or so to his house and what we described his experience to each other. We agree that we'd see the same thing. I Just love seeing his ass watch and it's been a while since I've fucking just seen someone say that they saw a Sasquatch bring him back

Damn, that's the hell out of it. Absolutely. That is awesome. All right, very cool So this is I don't know if this is Marcus Parks Marcus's second cousin, but it feels very similar Okay, cuz they start off. I am Marcus Jordan's second cousin I grew up in Texas as well And I didn't actually realize how crazy my childhood was until I was quite a bit older and fully realize it after listening to y'all When I was that how he sounds this I don't know okay When I was born we lived in town in a tiny brick house in 7th Street We lived there until about 7 until I was about 7 and until we moved in the new house in the country

I just thought everybody's bathroom lights flickered in the middle of the night sure I Also thought that the pale dark-haired lady I saw in the tub lived with us And I just never saw her during the day my father bought that house cheap It wasn't until much later that my parents told us a young woman was murdered there only weeks before my dad bought it Her husband had electrocuted her by throwing an old radio in the bathtub while she was taking a bath. Does that actually work? It can't it can work. Yes, you can okay? I Never asked my family if they saw the things I did because when you don't know any different You don't think it's strange or scary

About age seven we moved into a house just outside of the same small West Texas town my grandparents and Marcus's grandparents all lived in Close proximity. I don't know if this is true and As such my first cousins did too in fact they lived just across the cotton field from us was about two sections It took 30 to 45 minutes to walk to their house And it turns out my parents had a nose for buying haunted places strange lights and unsettling Feelings were normal around the place if Marcus was a digger. I was a builder I took old scraps of wood and nailed them across the ceiling joints in the barn and hauled a chair up the ladder to sit

The barn loft was a place. I like to hang out, but it never felt like I was welcome there Is that how people identify in Texas like I dig holes you build stuff see that's what we're friends The two people that we know from Texas this intimately. Yes In a field behind the barn you could walk the rose and find the most incredible arrowheads and spear points just laying on the ground Ever especially after a rain they glinted in the sun and many of them were in a near perfect condition as it turns out about 300 yards from the house just across a tiny creek With a little hill that rose inexplicably out of the relatively flat land surrounding it. It wasn't cultivated or at least not recently You see in the fifties the man from whom my father had bought the place had dug up a skeleton and some Native American paraphernalia a

Very small excavation concluded that this was a Comanche burial site and the land laid fallow Good not good not good at all Across that tiny creek was the quintessential steel truss bridge you'd see in every 1920s and 1930s movie The creek is just a small ditch But could be very dangerous at a high lope in the dark. The bridge is known as the headless horseman bridge The local story goes that the creek served as a boundary between two early ranches before the land was tilled for cotton The southern neighbor was losing cattle a few at a time and it suspected his neighbor to the north was coming over at night To sneak one or two at a time back across that bridge

Well, you know when your neighbor fan when your neighbor's family is just getting fatter and fatter and fatter and you keep on missing cattle And you're like hey Tom. Are you taking my you taking the cows? No My son's getting real big yes, he is One very dark moonless night the other neighbor laid and wait as Suspected in a neighbor quietly rode his black horse across the bridge Once he had passed the man took a roll of barbed wire and strung it tightly across the bridge It's about seven feet high he then retreated and watches his neighbor cut out three or four cows and made quietly for the bridge The man uphold unholstered his pistols and rode straight for him at a dead run shooting and holler the rustler

No, he was caught made for the bridge as quickly as his horse could carry him the cattle crossed in front and then his horse But the barbed wire caught him right at the neck and decapitated him instantly Damn, now he's forever looking for his head. I love headless horseman stories. I don't know if they're true or not But I love them absolutely we used to take groups of kids out to the bridge just waiting on the road as I told him the story Then dad would catch our bay horse. Damn it And put a coat over his head and a wide and ride a wide circle to the bridge Just as we walk back across the bridge He would ride up and scare the living hell out of them was great brilliant

But one night the cousins my brother and I decided we would go to the bridge from their house Give in mind this bridge is not a hundred yards from the aforementioned Comanche burial site We walked across the bridge and it's expected. There was a hell of scream behind us like an Indian war cry The unmistakable sound of a horse's gate approached at a dead run. Good job dad I thought they continued getting closer the horse snorting and blowing and sound like a wild cat scream Finally it became so close. I wasn't taking any chances. We all ran all the way back to my cousin's house Just don't my dad had gotten us good But there was my dad sitting in the chair drinking a glass of tea

He wasn't out of breath just relaxing as he could just relax as he could be my uncle William was there too My grandfather was there. Nobody was missing. I bet he rode the horse over here and beat us We said to each other but the horse was home. No sweat. No cinch marks. No signs of being ridden You know how that is castle every day. I make sure the the horse hasn't been ridden Until the day he died my father swears nobody left the house and nobody could explain what chased what just what was that that? That chased us across miles of cotton fields at night damn very cool We got a sasquatch and a headless horseman tail side stories LP ot l at gmail.com Please tell us your stories share your stories. We love to

To hear them and I'll say next week. We're gonna try to have less Children's come in the episode. Yeah, I mean if we can't we just report the news We are the mirror. We are the reflection of society If people stop having sex with children, we will never mention it. I will never mention never mention I don't want to think of it. I hate it. I really would like to stop it. I Wish that they'd stop and then everybody could just be like us and be into milfs that would You know, I mean our thrill an old man

Yes, absolutely. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Hope you're doing okay out there As as the world continues to to kind of spin. We will Kind of just slowly spin and we're just kind of absolutely fucking stuck on it Now I want you guys to live your life like you could pretend like no for a fact that yeah a lot of jobs It could be fucking wiped out at the end of this whole scenario whatever the hell we're in very very scary But I think that you can do is you can live by be an arts hero Go to be an arts hero on Instagram and follow how they are trying to stop The trying to figure out a way well, I'll go into more detail on

On some point on my socials, but this is a really big talking about the art sector of this country and how theaters and and Bars comic clubs are gonna be fucking shuttered at the end of this And we have to find a way to get them the subsidies that they need to stay open You want to so this the the main thing is comedy clubs. That's your big concern We should we should talk about it, but there's a movement that my friend that my friend Jenny McComb is working on who is just great And it's just I I'm really I think it's really important and because it's just one of those because Because things are gonna be very different a year from now, and I don't want them to be that different No, I'm with you and I'll even finish off this live laugh love and you have to laugh like you're at a gut

Gucks or a Snickers. You have to laugh like somebody just told you how women drive and how it's different than how men drive and then And then certain people like to roller skate I don't know what happens at comedy clubs Because we don't remember we got to get back We don't remember and you just got to love Love that one chair or you spend them out of your day and Learn to love it better than you do and try to reintroduce your butt to it every couple of days Maybe feels fresh. Yeah fluff it up. All right, everyone. I love y'all. I hope you're hanging in there stay Positive as possible unless it's with unless you have corona virus that is a state negative

Oh too much fun. Hail yourselves everyone. Hail Satan my goose deletions And me This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com You