Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Show Me The Toes!

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news including their much anticipated breakdown of the Gwyneth Paltrow Ski Crash Trial, yet another death connected to the Murdaugh Family, lawyer who represented Russian-born dominatrix convicted of attempting to murder her pal with drug-laced cheesecake is arrested Tuesday for allegedly trying to smuggle fentanyl-laced pot into a Queens jail, the 65 year old man who broke into a daycare (stole diapers and formula and left notes behind indicating he wanted to pretend to be a baby girl), a couple of big footed hero(es) of the week, Listener Stories, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories I'm talking I'm starting That's how you sound Oh Oh, that's funny. Oh, what a funny little job for you. Well, guess what I'm calm today And I can't be affected. I can't be affected by your little snipe. Well, you are for those that don't know this is wow You are really In drops people are rushing to our patreon because today even though it's a podcast

You did dress up and you look you look like amazing. Where are my pamphlets? You know, do not know he doesn't get them because now he's Gwyneth Paltrow. Okay, and Gwyneth wouldn't you're ruining my entire bit Oh, am I ruining it? Yes. Welcome to side stories. I'm Ben hanging out with Gwyneth Paltrow. Um, yes And you are because last week So I was resold right I was retold that my blood pressure wasn't good. Is that good right? Is that good? And so last week I wanted to get into be you know, I was saying I'm a star seed All this kind of shit um turned out it's um like deeply embedded in like right wing like area nation something starts Oh, now everything is they don't get to claim Thor. They don't get to claim star seeds

Just because some no you are a star see they can have star seeds. Okay. Um, you're giving it up that fast I just know it's because I realized something because I was sitting and I was watching I feel for some reason I've been sucked into this Gwyneth Paltrow trial just like all of the rest of us I love this trial. I love this trial and I mean, I'm just gonna straight up say I'm team Gwyneth and I don't care what anyone says after I saw the animation It cost a hundred thousand dollars. I was team Gwyneth But now what I realized is that I don't need to be a star seed to be calm. Was it what I need? It's Gwyneth Paltrow

courtroom energy I arrive as you can see now I'm wearing this shirt directly from goop sell and merch in court beautiful important to do Yes, I'm the kind of energy that's like I brought my own sparkling water to court I love it. They've all allowed me to do this. I think it's fantastic. Let me smell your shirt. She smells like her vagina Does this actually make you think or if you see my you see like because I got I got pokies

Yeah, they're probably the similar size But Gwyneth's the thing is so around Gwyneth's body is a little nicer But if you just isolated your boobs shave them, uh, yes, perhaps If anyone wants to photoshop Henry's beautiful luscious breasts, which you can find already have. Yeah I'm Gwyneth Paltrow. Then we can really make that vision come true here. I'm centered. All right. I have my kids I mean Moses and apple the two most grounded children that will ever live they have their bow and arrow Instructor. Oh, he's been honestly. He's really picked up a lot of the slacks since gg died. Um, they're That's their fourth shift nanny

Because I got you know, they're one of the flagging of nanny's she died by suicide But only that's because of how she saw how calm I was and knew she could never get to it I agree with that. I I'm sitting here. I have a jade egg So deep up inside of my vagina. It's fantastic how you were able to do that I feel just so zen and I don't care how this woman this so-called prosecuting attorney It's also making fun of me, but at the same time trying to be me I'm not I'm not gonna sit here and allow this to happen any longer. Not you I'm talking prosecutors trying to be cute when they're Prosecuted. It's not even I'm sick of it. And I hate this idea of like celebrity lawyer. No, you're a fucking lawyer

Okay, you should be like one of the best wendy's employees of all time Just create the product. Did you eat it? And I say thank you for what you've done Did you see the whole section where they were trying to get gwyneth paltrow to leave the stand to come reenact the ski falling? And then they were gonna try to get and he and terry sanderson So if you don't know gwyneth paltrow is currently being sued for doing a ski and run accident by a man a doctor named terry sanderson A grown man gwyneth paltrow weighs 85 pounds soaking covered in her own goop She'll be 85 pounds now when she is a small titted bullet Shooting down the side of a mountain. Maybe this is just masculinity flipped on its head to be make me almost feminine

But I just feel like this guy is too weak if you can't handle a hit by gwyneth paltrow You don't deserve to ski anymore and you're not strong enough to live well What about shame? What about shame the american male kiss? Now you're getting look at my gwyneth paltrow like breasts and calm down to remember. She's in the room with you So imagine that's why that's why i'm team you. I thank you and I want to say thank you. Oh pain You know, she's my first crush. Are you shakes? I made a special water. It's yellow Well, you know, she could do whatever she wants to me

But that's the kind of energy i'm also trying to bring today selling merch on the stand That's incredible. She's able to move the units on the stand But so so terry sanderson is alleging that gwyneth paltrow hit him right and he's suing her for $300,000 in damages But now what we'll see is this is really shows where the money goes if you got a lot of money They the gwyneth paltrow is coming back in her defense got a whole cartoon. It's like Pixar is She's defending herself as she has the right to do absolutely. Can we just say first? He wanted to sue her for 3.1 million. Oh, yeah, this guy He's looking for money, but yes, he's also fine. I watched him walk to the stand. He is fine. Oh, no, I saw

No, he's not have a look. No, no what he did was he said something about how he's like pac-man don't look right Like he said something weird something's off inside of him I don't know But he alleges that she hit her but now that she hit him But she is saying that actually it was he that hit her and then what actually happened was he avoided a crowd But the action was weird was because she was doing turns to the left. She's saying that she got back sexy She was he was going to imagine you actually on that because that's just No, she is going to paltrow

I remember Ben Affleck. You guys had a great friendship and made me more sweet sweet She was just being a wealthy elite doing what they should be doing being on scheme Yes, go scheme. Absolutely. And he says that when he hit her She was skiing out of control. And then he has permanent. He has a permanent traumatic brain injury always Brad Pitt And I saw him on the stand and I don't know if that's true Me and Brad Pitt made the love He also said he had four broken ribs. And then the worst is he had emotional distress He couldn't even look at a mountain anymore without openly weeping. All right, that's me

But that's just because of those old school remember those paintings they used to sell was like or not arthur ash He died at aids. What was the other guy? He's tennis man. What was the guy that painted mr. Ackelford? Who gives a shit? Are you talking about bob ross? I'm talking about the painting with the angetis with the babies in the hands Yes, um love a mountain But gwyneth paltrow is fighting back and she's saying that actually he came up. He said that what was weird is that She was like, I felt a man Come up to the back of me. I heard his groans And then he fell to the side and it was and it's bad. But now terry sanderson's gonna hit the road

I'm just I'm transfixed because of course you have oscar winner the queen of the pogies herself She is on the stand giving it all she's got she's got like, you know Fully dressed out, you know, like what's with domiclasts though? Why is everybody doing that? I don't know. It's back It's back in a big way and whatever. I'm kind of happy for the phase. I don't mind them But it is interesting that now they're so mainstream that again gwyneth paltrow is wearing them under oath So she is admitting that she thinks she looks good. She thought about she thought about killing She really did and what's so interesting is so a season pass at this place It's deer valley skier resort a season pass is two thousand eight hundred ninety dollars. Oh, it's very expensive. She says

You know what motherfucker because you hit me. I lost half a ski day And then so she's suing him saying yo, you cost me half a ski day I want my money back the more we get into that the less I care You know what I mean? Like once we get to the who like we've lost half a ski day. I'm sorry You're gonna have a third kid named l copyton. That is I don't know what's gonna happen Then their fourth kid is some kind of kid named magellan. I don't know what she's but you know as like apple and moses I just pray to fucking christ you find another thing to do besides entertainment get out of this business Well, this is what this is what dr. Wendell gibby. This is what they testified about sanderson

That's the dude who was apparently assaulted by all 14 pounds of gwyneth paltrow mr. Sanderson She says that he was an active person But then after the accident things abruptly changed for example He used to like to go to wine tastians, but he doesn't like them anymore and I honestly I fuck when I first heard that first of all if we should have done a trigger warning I know for audience. I know because I know our audience. So one thing they care Is making truth making sure that all of us that are doing great Can get straight to our wine tastians you have any idea how many that's my community

I know those are my fucking people. You're saying like oh, what a shame. That's his entire outreach, bro They have to get the new solves from fucking low medical county. All right easy. It's not easy But now we can't even taste the wine, but I'm calm today because again, I remember I've got my my kids have trampoline university from seven to nine And then they have to go straight to figuring out how they my kids both moses and apple both of them have about 700 gallons of fresh water I've already applied to them and I know and their your jobs are now to go out there and and they're going to go to Not tying school. I don't know what kids do. Also. Can we just say this?

Uh, this trial is nothing like megan the stallions trial with tori lens or even johnny depp and amber herd I do like those are very serious. No, these are very it's like no, this was about this is not a serious trial the dumbest Thing that's ever and everyone's alive and everyone's totally fine Yes, and gwyneth paltrow the one thing that they they're calling her a scam fluencer Whoa And yes, goop is the female equivalent of info wars website when it comes to their merch page. Yes, but What are you talking about? It's all sampled by by kate bosworth if it helps one person You know if it if one person was about to kill their family and they let that pussy candle was like

Not today. I mean, I just don't know how do you not? How do you know if the jade eggs the jade egg or if it's a lump of shit that could caught in your pussy? I do think it's supposed to really hurt you if you leave it in too long I think it starts to like grow roots or something all I know is is that I've had that jagged I have a jade egg inside of me for the last 12 hours and I feel like an old school mouse Remember with the ball at the end of it Um, but again. Oh, yes the computer mouse calm I have you're on my keyboard a little bit. Good. My nipples are ready to go. What is this trial end?

I think it's like six months long It's very long, but I can't get enough of her coverage. I can't get enough I hope you apparently she's gotten a whole other day on the stand It is just that is real prime time television because you just find out all about the stuff she got mad because she's like She had it up her chiropractor appointment by like three three ghosts She had to go to the chiropractor over time and again, we should all be so lucky It is just so funny to hear people

What are you gonna do? I'm just making fun of it because it's available to me made fun And you know, she's she's uh, you know nepotism. She's comes from wealth So this is just their life. So they're just talking about their lives and that's fine Absolutely It is just funny because then their words fall upon our ears and we're like this is a problem for you I can't even I can't even Like nothing in our life would ever we will never have this problem. Well, the main issue was because when she left the scene of the crime She did not whatever happened. She did not pat

She did not like say to him like are you like it seems like she let her like Her living ski instructor man. How big is her home? She let her like man like again the second wave nanny They were the ones that like handled all of the stuff otherwise But still she said I thought that this was taken care of because again If she I definitely she like he could know I know he could speak to me. I was in shallow hell I I am of the people You should be able to speak to me

But yes, she thought that the issue was over and then it was handled But then it turned out it was not because then he didn't bring up the lawsuit too much later And it does seem like he's just looking for money But we're gonna we'll find out how much he gets in the very for some reason she did apologize for shallow hell Maybe not the most um, uh, let's say It doesn't stand the state the test of time. It might not. Yeah, it's not the money Whatever, but the one funny thing about it is George Costanza has a tail I remember that he's like, I remember he like winked it around. He waved it around

Um, that's certainly that didn't bring a start down at all. No, it didn't he's fantastic And he's I think he won an Oscar and I think he was so successful. He even went to Epstein Island Now when it comes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, when it comes to Gwyneth though just lastly in her I don't know why I'm just defending her It's just because I saw her boobs in Shakespeare and love and I always love her This is kind of why I did this to it because I wanted to feel like how it felt to be a pretty woman in front of you And what that would that? You can do whatever you want really

There you go, come on in that that's real nice Yes, oh, so you're so hot and sexy Yes, you sound like detective popcorns like nephew niece. Um, okay How many girl you want me? I don't want anyone so she said that she had to leave because otherwise there'd be a crowd of people because that's true She's a International celebrity the biggest issue I have in her coverage was they asked her they did the thing we're like You know normally in any other trial We would ask the witnesses to explain to introduce themselves and tell a little bit about their history

But we all think we're all well aware of mrs. Paltrow's story I don't and she should have like I do think that going about there shouldn't just been like no My name's fucking Gwyneth Tenefer Paltrow Whatever real name is and then and then like yeah, you know I was a hard scrapple street bitch back in the day acting my way all the way through bit bopping my way through coney island Like we needed to hear the whole story. I agree and we don't really know who she is. She's an entrepreneur. We don't know who she is She's an actor. Honestly. I would prefer I actually would love to look in I'd love a view in to see what it was like in that beautiful noggin of yours

Well, I think she tried to do something during uh, covet where she was talking about how life was real hard She said she was forced to eat bread But again, she is a special woman that has not dealt with a global pandemic. She also was not expecting But see that's how hot she is. I'm like that's kind of cute She's the opposite of a rat All right, a little bit more of an update. There's an update. Uh, the steven smith Uh, uh, this is okay. So let's just take one Slightly more serious thing when a culture and rich people hitting each other on a ski slope

Yes, save and smith now We know that this was the young man that was found dead in south carolina And this was kind of tangentially connected to the murdoch family But it looks like that that is now being his death is now being opened up as a homicide And when it looks like the hits are going to keep on coming for the murdochs Which member of the murdoch family could possibly be it. He's not that aren't dead or alive one buster Oh buster is they are coming for buster. So apparently this family is quickly becoming something of horrific legend Um, how many deaths have to be tied to one family? I've never seen anything like this

We think about how long it took for him to get flipped. I was thinking about this the other day So it's like, all right, so a maid can die. What apps, right? They didn't care The other girl can be killed in a uh, in a drunken bogey boating accident. They decided to throw that in the room That's fine. Boom. That was only those two people. Nothing would have happened. Nothing would have happened Those were fixed already. Those were already done Then you have like, you know, obviously he but what really got him again was him trying to steal money From other old like southern boys I do he stole from the wrong pot

So that's when they decided I'll flip on him But if he had just killed that one unconnected woman and the I know he didn't but I label him He now that Alec Murdoch is the only one alive the whole fucking family is It's very interesting to see but I hope that there's some justice in his case because it's extremely sad How like how deeply that case was buried and now it's getting pulled out But I just wish that not everybody had to die for there to be justice because it'd be nice if like, you know If you could have seen it. So the determination was that Smith died in a hit-and-run, but that's highly said

Antithetical to what they've been finding in all of the reports in all the autopsy reports and so hopefully after the exhumed the body and Get some more evidence. We'll figure out what that'll happen to this poor boy. I hope I don't matter what Oh, um, it's just man stop this family just has so much murder and death around it Something's going on. Something is going on. I mean, it's already been it's at least we got some justice But the rest is going to come but it shows how much we have to go just to catch a c-team Illuminati Really the worst it is like a small little version of And you're in everybody's town. We all gotta have that Los Angeles. We have um

I mean, whoever Tom Hanks isn't involved with an a giant spider of accusation. I don't know what what's up with uh, Tom Hanks center. He's fine. Tom Hanks is technically fine. He's like too innocent. Oh, that's what they say Um, all right. Yeah with buster though It is interesting because the cops were like he's on our radar since 2015. Oh, yeah, and they're like, uh, we're being harassed We're being harassed by the police. That's what buster's saying and I'll need these but I'll need these I for mentioned police Olias to get off of my lawn and he is definitely straight I'm like the whole family. Anyway, here we go. Mr. Mother um, all right now this next story

I love Because you know what man? I maybe I'll put it this way. I Totally believe this story to be real. Why do you believe what story to be real because there's a lot of them that probably aren't This story takes place down in the Ozarks and it's a place. We are familiar with this now in the James rivers This is James River truck. How are we familiar with that pastor? Lynn? Well, I'll show you pastor John Lundell He said a creative miracle took place on March 15th. Oh, and it was something that no one ever thought would ever happen Toes come back. I'm really upset with all the toe talk lately between toe beans

Toe beans, but this is I mean, I don't make the news brother. I know news comes from me This comes from this is this is James River church pastor John Lundell He said apparently God performed a creative miracle Chrissy Thompson was shot three times in 2015 right no, I don't know she was in a coma But apparently the injuries included needing the toes to be off. Can we just say that he's not calling it a miracle He's calling it a quote creative miracle. Yes, which is a fucking fake toe No, no That's what that means. I mean, I don't even know because I ain't even seen one of these goddamn toes now miss

She was forced not just to have one toe removed by the way. It was three toes Here we go guest speaker pastor bill johnson Now the reason why we know pastor bill johnson because he was a part of the Bethel church community That tries to try to raise a toddler from the dead with prayer A couple years back, right? You remember that where they did the group prayer trying to bring it back and it didn't work Creative miracles. All right. Now he went up there. He said, I was that about a need a creative miracle now Chrissy's like Yes, I did. Yes, I did and here comes straight. This is from this is from the toes mouth itself This is a testimony from Chrissy Thompson. Now if you I'll hear you I so you can hear exactly how it went down

I'm gonna play this for you and then we'll play it on the we'll play it on the show I had three toes that were amputated in it in a terrible accident I heard the word for creative miracles and I thought well, I certainly have a creative miracle that I might need I need three toes to grow back get Chrissy next to me said do you want new toes? And I was like, well, sure All the women got down and they Prayed over my foot and I decided to take my shoe off to see what was happening when he said Let's see the progress or if anything's happened and when I did

I had to grab the person next to me and say do you see what I see and I saw Three toes That were forming and now there's length to them tonight. I can stand on my tippy toes Listen, do you understand? I can stand on tippy toes No, I couldn't do that because I didn't have toes I didn't have toes and honestly her name was Chrissy Dines. Her name is still Chrissy Thompson It was the video Chrissy top. They've changed her name. Her real name is Christina Sue Dines. Yes They changed it to Thompson. Yes, they changed it. But you know what they were changing the worst part is well

I'll tell I'll show you now. They're trying to Here we go. All right. So this was it started as her her real name, right? Okay, they wouldn't got her Kelly who was her like saying like Kelly was the one that said, hi, you want some toes? You want some toes? I'll take a couple of toes. I'm missing three So she went down there and the shit in the name of Jesus the toes to grow bone to form a blood to flow She also noted every area where the toes have been appitated and go feel a pulse make it in those areas and the color They get to change from gray to skin tone and all of a sudden Chrissy said, are you kidding me? And they saw that the toes began to grow

Yes, and the worst part is honesty is that they they just kept growing they did and you're gonna want to stop those from growing We might have a shoe story a little bit later on Yeah, the pastor says as the ladies prayed for Chrissy over the next Chrissy over the next 30 minutes 30 minutes a prayer All three toes grew and by that point We're longer than her pinky toe within an hour nails began to grow the Lord Well, if you have the ability to make someone Wolverine, this is what you're gonna do I mean, I just find it really funny because I got a couple of inches I'd like to add if you know what I'm talking about the circumference of my butthole

So now there's also a website called show me the toes.com. Oh, well, there's a thing. So now show me the toes Show me the toes.com is coming out and just ask them a simple question that everybody else I know I asked even my Gwyneth Paltrow form. Show me these fucking toes. Show me the toes I want to see these toes and so at first they said right that they what they did Was that Chrissy Thompson's the fake name for this woman, right? So what they did was that after the fact they said how dare all of you ask for proof of these toes And here's a response from pastor John Lindell that owns the whole thing, right? Yes, this is why he said why they aren't releasing the toe footage

The girl Chrissy in Joplin, which has been really really unfortunate. She's I had a lot of trauma in her life and it breaks my heart to see people do that Towards her because her miracle is real. It's genuine People are saying well, it's genuine. Why aren't you why aren't you doing anything with it to publicize it? There's a couple of reasons that I want to say to you. First of all Um, I'm less interested in proving to people what I know God did than I am in protecting she Who even though they made these really brief they made an entire video with her and they and her going my toes

are going and then now he's saying that they they pulled now they're protecting you gotta take you gotta make some money Somehow in the super church and this is of course a mega church the guy looks like he drives a Subaru and eats That peanut butter that has a bunch of oil on top of it. He's got the cool like racer jacket I don't know. So this is what again go to show me the toes dot com show me them toes He says to close out his fantastic website, which I'm so happy. He took all this time I think that's because we want to see the goddamn toes I know he says it's obvious that they never thought what John shared from the stage would end up creating the viral facebook post We talking about going toes back at the top of this page. I'm in the middle fucking recouping my toes

I know you are he says if there is proof Show it. So go to show me the toes dot com and have a little breakdown Of this, uh, you know what this is what facebook is for it really is the only thing it should be used for You never solve anything real, but the thing is show me the toes and if we do get to see these toes To be fair, they could just show anyone's You don't have to try hard just show us some toes And then you know, like I guess we got to call the uh, you know, I'm not gonna I'm not even gonna make one of my jokes

I'm one little funny jokes about who loves toes because we all know who loves toes Did the only sports coach that you know? Yes, the man from the Jets Rex Ryan. Yes, that guy. I'm not gonna do that again But do you think that if her toes are growing back you think she's gonna eat them again? I don't know how the fuck did she lose them? She said she got shot three times and then some yada yada yada The toes three toes in the toes. I'm starting to think she never lost any toes at all Maybe she was just curling them and then she unfurled them and if we're like the toes I grow with the toes Oh my god, you know sometimes she should be honest. She could have gained a lot of foot fat

And then the toes are hitting because you know, I lost it. Oh, I was doing that today when I got into the shower I was putting my fupa back. Oh, yeah, of course in this area And I was like that's that ding dong And then um, but I was then fupa would go back and I said Oh that ding don't matter the little turtle now I don't say every 10 pounds you lose you get an inch of dick Yeah, but you still have the dick you actually don't have to lose the way you just rely on your back and hope you Hopefully I'm giving partner what I'm trying to do is honestly the goal is to get too fat

I guess when you're on the ground it goes to just get too fat. So you can't like you have to lay down You have to lay down. That's the dream. That's the dream, right? And that's uh, oh, that's how I like it Gwyneth Paltrow That's my favorite when a man's down like a love I could pretend he's dead because that's what I like most the dead hard man Well, I'm Gwyneth Paltrow There's a story that actually goes with all of this stuff sexual hot

Drugs a dominatrix, which I don't understand this story. This this is a fantastic story and also Dominatrix says they serve a much needed purpose. Absolutely. Please god if you are a Super villain billionaire go get your nuts mad. Honestly go to twitter And if you are spanking a super super, um They can believe if you're if you're if you're spanking an evil man every single time you spank him do like a Give money to the poor just like to the strength of the center of his ear because then he'll start to connect the sexual family Dude, I've seen some giving money to the poor. I've seen some documentation. Some of these guys can get their foot I don't know how they do it with their nuts. Oh, you know, that's she was a russian born dominatrix. Dare I say

That's the one you want You don't want a polish dominatrix because they'll just make you a bunch of pierogies So her name was I know, but that's not the point You're supposed to be I think some sort of a you're paying you're paying you're paying to be yes You're paying to feel because it's fun to have not I think the goal is to not have control Victoria Naserova She was a she was convicted of attempted murder. Okay

Because she was about to kill her pal, right now. How was she gonna do it? Well, she delivered a cheesecake to him, but it turns out and they she delivered this to a queen's jail It turns out the cheesecake. Oh my god. It was laced with fentanyl. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes And so it turns out that it was all bad and then you're not supposed to have fentanyl laced cake Although we don't know what it would taste like Um, I mean, I would I mean if some people just use They use like actually use fentanyl Well, like it. Yeah, you're supposed to use very very very little amounts of fentanyl like truffle oil

Yes, it is so the russian born dominatrix convicted of attempted murdering her pal was arrested tuesday for allegedly trying to smuggle This cake was merely a misunderstanding. It was a misunderstanding to trying to smuggle fentanyl laced pot Into a queen's jail christopher hoit was visiting his client naserova And at the q's garden Lockup, I don't know why it's called q's gardens q's gardens I think it's because it's q's is the name and it's not a but it's not a plural name It's a notable q it's q's q's garden But it just doesn't sound like there's an amusement parks or anything anyway, he went to visit her and when he was arrested

And then the stunning turn of events resulted in the adjournment of naserova's scheduled sentencing on tuesday And this is according to the doc commissioner lewis molina. They said we have zero talents for anyone staff Contract providers visitors and attorneys who attempt to smuggle contraband into our jail But this isn't the one that attacked her Attorney right wasn't someone we just covered somebody that just did that attack their attorney named your business and gave the guy that is your business No, I don't think this was the drugs were laced with fentanyl and other officers found it in another example Of what jail and correctional systems across the country are dealing with daily Hey, we listen. We got a lot of messages from CEOs from across the country and it is an extremely difficult job

It's a very stressful job and you got to keep your head on a swivel But you also don't want to get turned out right you want to find out that all of a sudden you're a part of some other guy's game Right helping right smuggled drugs in there unless you're getting a cut so make sure CEOs if you're smuggling you get that vague Also, you know the person she tried to kill it was her friend and lookalike. Yes. That was Yes, she was she was killing a woman to try to uh assume her life. Yeah, well now her attorney is in big trouble Well, there you go. That is great. That is great And you got to be careful out there guys because if you're gonna kill your double make sure you do it Yeah, you really do want to make sure that that is that is handled because if not if you're double nose

If I know my double try to kill me and then didn't make it I know I'm gonna be making shit hard for my fucking so-called replacement person That's fucking certain because nobody can replace these tits. Nobody can replace this mine Nobody can replace this attitude and nobody can replace this honestly worry some blood pressure You know, this is kind of a funny sentence here that I could see if you were charged with a crime Nessa Rova. She left her DNA all over the cheesecake box We said I'm gonna come Yeah

Well, hey, you know I I should be coming while I eat because we ain't got much time left according to one tiktoker Because man, fuck it Smoke them if you got them guys because the end times are rolling up. This is the real story. This is fucking real I mean, it's real. It's as real as a tiktok story. It is why I'm transitioning to gwyneth paltrow in court All right, that is my personality. That's who I am now, right? You should do that. So eno a lark This is a tiktoker. Hey, some people call us prophecies outlandish. I call them right on the fucking money

All right, this is show me the toes. Show me the goddamn toes, eno a lark. All right, the legend is a time travel It's predicting forthcoming world major events. Now. There's some people that are saying that so far It's been entirely inaccurate, but I say you fuck you you fucking old bitch Well, I'll kill you and your family. What are some of the inaccuracies because there's also people saying and speculating that The UFOs we're seeing are time traveling individuals coming back to see where it went wrong Also, as we talked about before the show ai says november 3rd start of world war three Maybe he's onto something who knows the time traveler, you know, he has claimed because again The way we know that his prediction came real is that the world did not end

He did it wrong. No, he did it right. Why no, he did it too soon No, no, no, no because he said he said uninvited an alien invasion that he said he predicted he said Did happen? Right, it's happened and 8,000 people have been abducted Why were they abducted? Why to save us from the distance? 8,000 Do you think that's gonna be enough as they said guns because they're gonna need guns Alien named the champion came to earth. This is true. He came down. He's a welcome to earth And he showed up. All right. This was it did all happen. I hope you go scene. Okay, 7 30 p.m

EST right after dinner if you're early person Right, is it a time traveler that came and he said what he stole from what he took right now the time traveler He's from the year 2671 Which is also I don't really particularly understand because I don't know I the world has ended. Why are why are you alive? What's the time traveler? Yes, but he time traveled to fix all these problems But where he has problems have happened Or we'll get there. There's a lot of problems with the man. There's a lot. There's a lot of flaws

But at the same time just think of the spirit. All right What he said is that the champion came and saved us from these aliens that are also coming after it So there's 8,000 people now. He said that that's how we know that we because It's in the prophecy. Okay. All right. He said now with these other people they stole around 200 doctors A thousand farmers a thousand engineers and mechanics And he said the perfect people that we needed to defend us in space Now they are currently those 8,000 people that were taken two days ago are now

We were three five days ago are now on a four-year journey into space where they're going to fight a series of aliens called the distance Okay, so we're sending we're sending doctors and farmers to go fight an alien race that has a military Name the distance Joe Biden. So why wouldn't we take why I why? Hmm. I do like that. This man has so much respect for the American farmer Oh very much and for and for doctors short But do I want them fighting because we know farmers they work really hard, but they mostly like Looking for a fight we need we need the Crips maybe some rednecks Honestly, we need like people that want to fight. This is an incredible movie about rounding up uniting the gangs to get him up to fight in space

Because that is one of the theories about aliens that would be kind of nice. It would be that's what attack the block was about a little bit Oh, yes, exactly But now we see the world didn't end so so far he's correct and he has a couple other big ones So April 9th and I want our audience to write these down because we have to find out if this is real or not So this is what 12 days from now. Yes. So April 9th a very famous celebrity is going to reveal. They fake their death Right number one June 12th. Who are the earthquake? This is a very famous celebrity I mean the one thing is I didn't want to spoil it. This is like a blind item I think Andy Kaufman would be dead even if he didn't die

So I think he is dead Michael Jackson probably doesn't want to come back. I think he should stay away I think he's just like I'm gonna chill. Yeah, I think he's out. I think he's out 50 60 something I would have loved to have seen them the music that Tupac would have made Well, you know how it goes, you know, who knows you got a cash in you got to make that He would be doing like dollar general The general with the Shaquille O'Neal, but just you know make that money. I don't care This is not just that on 420 a huge tornado is going to take place in the city of Tulsa, Oklahoma On May 15th a mega tsunami is going to destroy the west coast of the United States of America. This guy is already in the mail

He's wrong if you got him this guy. It's he's making. Okay. This is June 12th. No big one That's a 9.5 magnitude earthquake. It's going to open up a five mile deep rip that is going to unleash Enleash a series of cricketers. We thought we're only in our imaginations. First of all, he's overpredicting. It's second of all It would be the woolly mammoth because we're bringing that back. It's gonna be the perfect man. No, that doesn't exist Thank you. No, what this man is doing is wrong Because lord rayell, what do we learn? Bad things happen. Then you claim responsibility post so you post you say yes, that's what I predicted I predicted those storms. I predicted that. Yes, Gwyneth Peltier would be found innocent at trial only after she's found innocent at trial

Of course, that's how you do it. He's making a massive mistake. He's putting the carpet for the horse You gotta you gotta claim responsibility. You don't claim you don't project what you think is going to happen He's on some form of new well, this is there's something he's got to line on it because you should you better hope it's correct because I don't want to be correct. No, you you better hope because in 2024. He says human animal communication is going to become possible Dude, I just watched your video with a with one of those little talky birds Parents. Yeah, it was fucking hilarious, bro. I'll send it to you Anyway, those little talky little talky. It's really funny. I'll send it to you. What are they saying like fuck you? Yeah, he's like come here. Come here. I want to hurt you with any heritzer

Okay, so let's move on did the man No, what do you mean move on did the man predict this a holly man was accused of entering a daycare, right? So this dude in new orleans county, right? He walks into a daycare. It's clarkson county daycare And it was closed the daycare was closed. Oh, yeah, he's just like My blocks are in there He stole diapers and formula and left notes behind indicating he wanted to pretend to be a baby girl So his name is daniels to sealer 65 and he went in there to the child care place And he's like, I want to be a baby girl

So then he took a bunch of shit like diapers and stuff And then he left a bunch of notes being like i'm a baby girl Well, you know what? I rested his ass like he's a grown ass man I think so. Yeah, because he's not really a baby. He wanted to be a thing called baby daniel And the director said baby daniel sounds like one of like a true crime story where a baby's sucking a well or something Yeah, maybe they always find they always get him out I just wish that one time they would just seal it up Actually, uh, we took a look a lot of the the paperwork there and it turned out it's the antichrist

The director of the little daycare says the notes included size for pants shoes bras and dresses Okay, the man indicating he likes to play as a baby girl and call himself baby daniel again I don't give a fuck what you do, but you can't be stealing the diapers from the goddamn daycare I just find it interesting that he left the notes because obviously he wants them to know We actually kind of want some to he's looking for like a stylist like a baby like an adult to baby style He is looking for an adult to baby stylist. She also gwyneth paltrow has had that's like number five in her team That is the only thing she is some You know, whatever she could eat bread, but i'm also not gonna be like maybe you need some bread

She can be whatever she wants because she's going to the paltrow Um, so they also found that he drank some of the bottle formula. He used a bib I mean, that's disgusting diapers, but honestly if this was your pan, there would be a full-scale like restaurant Completely devoted to that life there. I'm sure that there is can you man? Oh, yeah, honestly, I'd be down for some adult baby food and the weird because I don't really Be nice sometimes I think about like I like chewing like I do like I like eating I like the sensation of it like I don't mind it. I actually find it sensual I like to chew. I don't like oh god when we were at we had a great time at wonder con last weekend

We went to a bar called the cave and they have Oh And it was see it was when we talked about wailing. It's that sperma setty. It tasted like sperma setty I thought sperma setty was just what an italian man left on a woman's belly Heller No italians they only come Yes, don't even That

That's what they do They're stronger tail. That's my prison. Anyway, god. I just I'm sexy. I'm attracted to me. Just wearing a soft sweater I know I need to do this one. I need my white lotus Like moment. I know I need to become like I feel like this is fun for me like like resort me Yeah, it's kind of fun. It's nice Well speaking of come before we get to here of the week, this is gonna last 14 seconds here serial sperm donor He fathered 550 kids. He's being sued because he increased the risk of incest Oh, yeah in in uh, dutch in in dutch in the netherlands. Oh, yes

So he increased it by like a lot So apparently a bunch of his kids are fucking each other and they didn't know of course because they don't know I think because they don't have to technically I don't think they have to tell you Like it's a whole thing and you have to go and find that out. I think he actually yeah It seems like there's it looks like there's some people that were born kind of inbred there. Oh, yes very much So yeah, it's not good and in it. There was only been regulation I feel for only a short period of time There's a documentary netflix about it too, but the doctor Yeah, that was dealing with yeah real gross at least this guy was on the up and up

I mean people well he donated sperm to at least 13 clinics at least yeah It's more on the like why we taking this much come from one man Also, if you just look at the guy, it's just it's incredible that he they're just like that's the one we want Well, honestly, they don't know and he's just there making he's just dead in the 50 dollars I think how much was it? I forgot I had friends that did the sperm bank. I want to say it was like It's like not much. It's like 15 bucks because yeah, sperm is easy. It's not much. You could just get sperm Oh, yeah, I mean if you just that's all you're looking for I got it I got a couple locations where it could be pretty easily slammed as I would say, you know if I would

I would hope if I was a lady and I needed sperm for it to be a to be a mama um, I would hope I would have a friend much like um, that's the singer-songwriter with bill Melissa ethridge with cross me. I wouldn't choose a drug Thanks. Well, he was a brilliant musician. He's a brilliant musician. Yes, but uh, they didn't do the old-fashioned way I think that they did. No. No. He came on a poster stamp and then she sat on No, no, she didn't know he didn't they didn't have she's a lesbian. No, I know but I mean you don't just you know Because also, you know, my brother got laid all the time in middle school or not in middle school in high school No, I mean like no, I feel like that's like

I I Now I'm gonna go on a limit I feel like that makes things really complex if you just fuck a man randomly No, it's not I'm saying to have a friend. Yeah, but you can either you're talking about a sexual You're talking about a rom-con. I'm talking about I'm talking about jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk. Sit on it. Sit on it Melissa Come and sit on it. Yeah. Yeah, and then she's just she's at the window because of the song. Yes to

If she doesn't make it on time give me 15 minutes Maybe what she decided is that if I just put my butt up against this open window and look forward It doesn't matter what's going on back there as long as then I hear just her like I just hear like As he comes and then I know that's David cross me No one no one knows the song that you referenced All right, everyone, let's move on to hero of the week Now this week's hero of the week is actually two things one is a cow because I don't know why cows are just really on the up and up These days. Uh, there's a cow who was born with a smiley face on it. Yes

It's a new it's a newborn calf with a smiley face in the name of the house the name of the cow is happy It will probably be killed at some point But that'll be a good steak And then another hero of the week is a good one. This is a real one This is a child, but he's the size of a man and I can relate to him. He is I believe 14 years old He is six foot 10 and his shoes are 22 They are size 22. Well, now it's 23. That's the problem. His 22 is too tight He might need to get his

Glant he might have gigantism He might need to get it nipped because if under the giant would have done that He would have lived the big show had to do that or he would have died really Yeah, you can get it you because his body if he's I guess he's only 14 Holy fuck though. Dang. Yeah. Anyway, he's a unit man. So because of that. He's six foot 10 Again, I think he is good at sports, which is really good for him. He's playing. He's good But then Puma says because his mom couldn't find any shoes Puma said we'll make you shoes. Awesome. I love the new mellows, man I love these fucking out

Puma's stepping up in a big way and so the company is offered to help kill burns. His name is Eric Kilburn And uh, they're under armor and Puma both of which have already scheduled representatives to come to michigan to begin fitting Eric See that's where you see that's why every day I wake up and I thank corporations every day As I know that you know, if anybody's gonna make it equal it's corporations every day Every day I think of them and what's nice about these shoes is that when he's done with them The rest of his family could go and live inside of them. There you go. Real nice joke there from That's me. No, I'm going with paltrow

Oh, Ben There's no no Apparently to Puma says there's no mold for this size because it's such a rarity. So anyway, how big are shacks feet? I think the his are 22. I want to say no way. He's got bigger dude. I don't think so. I think this guy's Yeah, I think this kid really does again. He might need to get that little gland nipped in the bud But he's only 14. So that's so weird. The first thing everyone says how big are shacks hands? No, it's shacks feet. Yeah, 22 Yeah, so rebecca has formed. I think that's his mom or some

Shoe network group on facebook another reason for facebook and again only for this Oh, and the shack actually says that he's actually size 20 But he wears a size 22 because he was forced to wear shoes that were too small And he was a young man. So now we wear shoes that are too big I think that we're just going to let him have his logic. We are and I love shack That's what's called a little bit of self shack noses I just get shoes to fit. That's a good that's an idea Well, this makes me feel like a real shrimp because I'm just a size 14

Yeah, man, you're just a little guy and also this kid he looks like he's athletic So that'll be good for him because that it's because it's an awakening nightmare Well, six 10 you can be a fucking center. Yeah, that's like that's good size. It's good. It's just, you know Life is life is going to be much harder for him. And then especially it's with that size shoe I mean, you know, again, he has to make he needs people talk about Uh, you know, pink tacks and all these things this man his life is going to cost about five times more Oh, sure, because everything has to be custom made. Oh, yeah And then all the super super big sizes always cost more and it's hard to carry them because it's hard to find six feet

Also, I mean, I know this is uh, and only he's only a teenager, but they say he's big shoes You know, that means real smart in school. You're the smart in school. Really smart in school No, I'm one of him I'm only three inches shorter than this kid. No, it just don't ask how deep is Foupa's That's when we're gonna get ourselves into some sort of Gary glitter legs No, Gary glitter would this kid would I wish Gary would have to meet this Gary. We have a 14 year old for to meet She heard a song at the game today Kick is still playing this song kick his ass. Do they buy they don't still play that song, right?

Oh, I think that they do bro Because I didn't know that was him until like last year. Maybe it's just like well actually sony. It owns it now So yeah, no, so we don't win that certainly not. I am better file over here at sony. I am sure that they still play it I'm sure that they do. All right. Here we go. Anyway, big Update on Ohio animals from our listeners. Basically, I receive this is one of those things when you get a big old Roundup of emails and all say the same thing. It's kind of it's wild You know how many people think that zebras fucking suck? And how about how violent

They're extremely aggressive I could see that one person put it in a really interesting way of like in a world of predators in Africa Yeah, zebra has to live as a main food source of many many of these predators, right? Because they don't seem like if it's battle bots They have more defensive armory. They don't have an aggressive armory bite They bite like a motherfucker and they kick and they don't think a lot of people say that they even just horse fighting is very Like that very violent And I would I think that's the first thing in horse picks that I want to do is to do more like I feel like it'd be fun to do

A full like horse versus horse That's a good wrestling foundation. They banned horse diving. I actually think as a people we're going in the opposite direction of horse on horse combat But again, what the fuck do I know? We're having slapping is no fight I'm just trying to give the audience what they beg for and more people have said I wish I was in a small room watching two horses fight I wish that we could bring it back with mechanical mechanical horses. Just And then you don't get the blood. No, I want the I want the people to hit each other on when they're going real fast Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Gwyneth Paltrow's aggressive skiing competition Whoa, that's a great ski fucking. It'd be like that video game hot tubing hot tub. Oh, yeah hot tubing. Yeah

So zebras are actually quite violent when females go into estrus and or give birth males are competitive and will like many other animals Kill offspring they suspect aren't theirs There's a gruesome nature episode of a male zebra brutally killing a foal, but during the same time They will fight heinously with each other horses and other equines are actually quite violent when they combat each other Wild horses also have more teeth than domesticated horses and we're able to bite the shit out of each other Which is why I told moses next year. We're switching to pygmy pigs I told Switch to pigs. I love pigs. Although pigs can get violent. Yeah. Oh, yeah

I was actually why I watched a great video of a bear attempting to attack two pigs And then the I believe it was the father pig came out and chase the fuck out of that bear But you can't fight a bear you can't and also I got a one about how thick a hawk shit was Was it felt like getting an entire slurpee? Slapped on his back. I could see that. I mean hawks are what like 30 40 pounds something like that Can they get that big something like that? I could see a hawk having a pretty solid duke. Oh, yeah, absolutely Nothing but fish. I mean you have a nice seafood diet. It comes right through you It is splashy splashy and I have one more one. I wanted to do

Which is about also I want to say thank you to everybody that set me as close to possible copies of the mic Warnky dashiki that we showed on the street and I'm hoping that's gonna end up with me too because again, it's all about Comfort I'm going with you kiss. Oh See dude, I want you to you go through that phase I'm I'm going to go to destination extra large and I'm going to start getting my suit jackets back I'm going to do jacket. You were doing that. You were doing that a wonder con and I love to see you cosplaying as yourself TV news has been kissable. Maybe all of you. I don't want to do TV news again. No, no, no that Fucking horrible shit. Um, but this is a look at this. This is a really

this is actually something I wanted to read because It's more about like listen. This is a this is like a bad luck story Okay, but this is really more about uh This is about a point pleasant west virginia. Okay, and how many people have said is the mothman There's a mothman territory No, I've heard a lot of people talk about how when you go To one of the when you go down to like the dynamite area

Like you know where they went when the original sightings of the mothman was like, what do we know what the mothman actually was? He was a harbinger of doom, right? And he tried to warn people but the bridge don't go down that road now The commercial that we did success wildly successful. We have a new um, well, I have a new coffee line coming soon I believe it's gonna be called reptilian in the morning. Oh, I love that coming. You're gonna it's gonna you're gonna like It's gonna be very tasty a nice light morning blend make a shit Absolutely spring hill jack. Keep it coming. Oh, here we go. Now. This was this is very interesting But people say that when they get involved in any of these scenarios or go down to the the dynamite minds Yes, people get good bad luck

They get good or bad. They get bad. Well, they get bad luck. This is a bad luck All right. Now this is about west virginia. Now we drove down there from richmond virginia I was visiting a factory and my work does business with now I noticed the town was only an hour away from the plant so me and another Nerdy last podcast listener co-worker made the drive nice before we left an old man That worked at the plant overheard me talking about going and he looked at me dead face. Nice said Don't go there at night Things tend to snatch people from the sky, you know, now we have to go

Just do you feel the profits and the dude said I laughed but he wasn't laughing. It's dead serious But I should have been cautious Now we drove the hour-long mountain drive to the town Coming over the bridge was almost like putting a backpack on the town felt heavy The bright sun mixing with the gray clouds made the quite the quiet little cryptid famous city look black and white We did the mothman museum thing was cool But me and my co-worker wanted to go see the place where the mothman was first seen the tnt bunkers It's about a 10 minute drive outside of town. Okay, we're journeyed a bunch of back roads following gps directions from a message board

Let us to this little pull-off. Okay. I can't wait to go myself Dude, honestly, this sounds I want to stay at a little hotel. I just want to just I want a week Oh, yeah, we had no clue where to go after this So that's when my urban exploring skills kicked in because if you want to know where to go you follow the graffiti always We found the bunkers and it was nothing crazy. Just kind of look at that to a couple picks When we left the bunkers, something didn't feel right leaving the town something didn't feel right Something wasn't right. Now. This is when things went south for me in very fast We blew a tire as soon as we got on the highway leaving the town

In the repair shop getting our tire fixed my mother called me and told me her cancer came back Jesus when I got home my landlord called me They'd check under the house and the entirety of the crawl space was covered in black mold and we had to leave immediately But he shouldn't have gone out the next day. I got laid off with no severance Which is a mostly it was that guy warning you not to take the time off because you were about to get fired Oh, that really company work forefolded right after that. I'm dropping into a million dollar lawsuit as a witness in an embezzlement case A week later in the hospital with a severe stomach issue. All right. I think something might have been going on with this guy Then the whole world shut down with fucking covid

Uh, well, so thank you. So this guy started he did it. I was desperate to get this bad open off of me I buried my mothman shirt. I did as much cleansing as possible to my spirit today. Things are better Congrats, honestly, I will never go near that town again. That area needs to be left alone White people tend to go where old people tell them not to go that trend needs to end I'm excited for y'all to do a deep dive into this town. Is it a lot of dark shit going on? I love it beyond the fucking Stephen King character. I want to go do a full-on investigation in that town No, I want to go man. Do you see uh, do you see that we went by a real the keya the truck tire that hit that keya? Oh, yeah, that was serious

Another you know new phobia unlocked Curse Guys, what an eventful week So before we end just go to get it made dot la slash demands to see me kiss alive When the best I mean, I'm talking about top tier stand-up comedy that you have never seen before It'll be new and homeless aren't they home more more It'll be us. Well, I think we're in about 45 minutes of hardcore humor And and then we'll just hang out for a little while in cocktails

Absolutely, but one thing I want to remind you is that it is a little bit of a hinky process Because the the venue itself does not sell alcohol and we know that you all love alcohol So what you do have to do is it be why it'll be it is not b y o b But b y os bring your own smuggle smuggle smuggle it in I mean, we could say that but and go wink wink wink Everyone just shows up little footballs But I would prefer you paid for the booze if you go and you buy but buy the booze ahead of time You can buy it on the website ahead of time because we are supplying the booze

It's this old school. There's an old school show. So there will be booze There will be booze. You just got to buy the booze ahead of time. We're the we're the we're the beer It's a whole thing get it made dot la slash disaster man buy alcohol ahead of time and think about How drunk you want to be ahead of time? All right. Remember in your head buy for That person buy for the person at the end of the show who wants to be drunk Don't buy for sober you sitting in the maybe sober sitting in the middle of the afternoon doing it Just wait to be like Super long events. So I mean that it'll be like two hours. It'll be two hours. You guys I think they can handle it

I remember just saying think about how much booze you want for two hours and buy it ahead of time. Okay fantastic I don't get it. He was sling it. You don't want to do a triple l Live every day knowing for a fact all I got to do is show up to set and these guys are begging me for oscars A begging for oscars. Well, I think they're begging you to return the engineer named oscars Just love my life every day my kids Acupuncturists is just they is sheer heaven. Um, we've already blown through three of them Because Moses won't learn to read But I am just certain that as soon as I just load her up with a hellraiser amount of acupuncture needles all over their face

Then maybe just maybe they'll stop killing the hell Yeah, okay, and then I laugh. I laugh by laugh of a very very secure skiing woman going And now I know that I've ruined now that I've gotten one menace off the slopes Now the slopes are free for any thin wasted broth filled just a way for a person to be to be completely safe But again, remember if you're on the slopes and you're scared of getting a head and you're a skinny little woman turn this Absolutely. Gwyneth. I am with you and thank you for all you did with showing your boobs. All right, everyone Well, thank you all so much for listening. I hope you're doing well out there. Hail yourselves

Hail Satan Congratulations everybody. Hey, baby. No problem. Gwyn. Let's go out to eat. Where can you go out to eat? Um, I can go really to the Arawan parking lot And I can bring the pre-packaged foods I brought with. Ooh, let's go to AMPM. Oh This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com