Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Sky Tuna

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: chimp attacks, redneck raves, Home Depot exorcisms, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side story That's when the cannibalism started side stories. Yeah It's me I'm free again Here I come here we go. I hear you snoozing. Oh, what you gonna do? I'm gonna team up with the my pillow guy and make a thing called your pillow because that's where I'm gonna find you When you're all right, very good impression a little bit of a snoozy dude. Thank you so much, Henry Welcome to side story. I don't want Bill Cosby to freak. I am Ben hanging out with Henry absolutely You know what? We're gonna do drop it. We're gonna do

Are we? Oh, you don't want me to continue to do a Bill Cosby impression throughout the rest of the show You know, I just think that yeah, well, you know Because I cannot see well as one goes out of prison another goes into prison Allison Mack we can start with that story. She's got you bitch. She's finally been sentenced She's gonna serve three years for her role in nexium For her role in branding a bunch of people with Keith Ranieri's weird-ass initial so three years for Allison Mack Did you see her statement? She'll be a sentenced or she has to she has to show up September 29th to turn herself in That's so weird. You have like two whole months of just like eating ice cream

Yeah, what do you do you play two months before you go to prison for tax evasion two months Mexico? They think you're a flight risk then they lock you up Because I'll do what she did where she just said over and over again. I'm I'm so sorry That's good acting each one of her statements were just been like I'm so sorry if I could take it back I would you branded people woman Like I feel like when you guys then yeah, it wasn't fast branding like they do with steer It was slow

Branding and you watched them squirm and you loved every minute of it and now you you might as well just like Okay, what if I send a several what if I send several sad emojis to the judge? I thought you were gonna say the Smallville DVD set that'll get some time knocked off And of course the media is coming back. She can enjoy regaling everyone with her tales of acting Well, she is incarcerated. However, her neighbor and also a victim. She wasn't that thrilled with the sentence. Oh, really now She didn't think it was enough. She says it's disgusting. I can't believe it and then she said I'm shocked I thought she at least get seven years. I'm upset about it. So there you go Not everyone is gonna be thrilled but a second three years for Allison Mack wait a second

Wait a second. It won't be max was only seven years. I'm not sure what the max was I think that the neighbor had just had seven stuck in their head and they wanted seven years came back from Atlantic City And the my question is is that she kept sex slaves. Is this not a crime? Is it not a real crime? What was the crime that she actually got? Indicted what is your crime that she actually got convicted for bad acting? So be very careful mr. Zabrowski, you better keep your a-game up. Hey, it's not a crime if you're not caught the neighbor also said she's an actress She should get an Academy Award for this she played this who this neighbor is so mad and then she said four for four years This was going on under my nose in our neighborhood. What a witch this woman has been in several audition

Several audition rooms with Allison Mack, which is why she's mad What was her crime? What is the final crime in it being all right? Well, let's take a look here So the judge sentenced her to three years The judge's name was judge Nicholas G. Garuffas He sentenced her for three years behind bars for racketeering and conspiracy charges She played guilty to those slaves. She branded human beings. Yeah, I guess that might be the racketeering I'm not sure she played guilty to that in 2019 and in 2021 she's finally gonna go and some justice will be served and obviously true talk our victims our heart goes out to the victims of

Nexium what a horrible freaking cult as we learned from the two documentaries one of which was dog shit But the other one I thought was quite interesting The other one was good, but they all don't worry. They all got their time in the Sun didn't they they all do some of them that Seem to be members of Nexium that really really enjoyed being the stars of their own television. What a bunch of pseudo Smart total morons when what was his name mark? Was he the guy that believed in Keith Ranieri cuz Ranieri knew math It was the director all he said was like I know different kinds of math, but he never did any math He was hold on so much each one of them each one of them. Um any you that that tale is

Starting to come to an end in some ways honestly, and it is good. I can't wait to see her in jail She's gonna serve a year, and then she's gonna come out. She's gonna immediately go on the podcast circuit I bet you she starts one. I'm just called like, you know Branding hashtag branding with Allison Mack. Oh, that would actually be very good If you think about it not in the sex slave type way, but in the way where it's like I'm a shoe brand That's why I'm a lifestyle. That's a joke that I made you made that joke. Okay. I want to do I'm sorry, and I'm coming at strong You know why I'm excited for why because we're gonna see the Harlem Globetrotters tonight

No, we're gonna see the Los Angeles Clippers I can't wait the Phoenix Suns if you start calling them the Harlem Globetrotters. It's we're gonna get kicked out No, I'm ready Because number one, you know what I know this time that we didn't know the last time what we can eat the hot dogs Yeah, I'm gonna eat some hot dogs when we I'm already hungry. I'm thinking about it. We're gonna get some beers Oh, we're gonna we're gonna cheer for those boys. We are we are gonna be the fattest loudest people there We cannot wait and I also want to do another update. Oh gosh. This one is gonna actually kind of break my heart people This is a war that has started without us. We got involved and we got pulled into this civil war naturally

Watching what's happening to this country watch it slowly be torn apart, but this level of misunderstanding Corporal lies. It's just unbelievable and we we got to talk about this. This is fucking huge It's a deeper. It's a deeper issue Then even we should even be touching up on here because of how serious it is Yeah, a final lab analysis was done and it has determined subway tuna sandwiches You do not contain tuna DNA. They showed look at this the New York Times I mean all the way to the New York Times nothing else is happening in the world I'm just so happy the New York Times took so much time out of their busy days trying to investigate scandal after scandal to figure out

What's in the tuna? Well, it's not tuna. They could not find what they call Amplifiable tuna DNA in subways now they're now going as far as called it to call it infamous tuna sandwich Which it wasn't until now because Jared never raped anybody with a sandwich. We actually have no idea I don't know I did and Jared is still in prison rightfully So I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos of what happens to child molesters in prison And I'm assuming he is not having a great time Got a file inside of me and him will hang out in Mar-a-Lago with my best friend you wait until Cosby OJ and Trump are all hanging out in Mar-a-Lago and then every head will explode in this country

So, okay, look New York Times they submitted 60 inches I'm so wait doing the sandwiches to be tested So what poor Shlub who works at the Times who was like I'm gonna make it one day as a newsy and they're like hey Larry Why don't you go to a subway and get 60 inches of their tuna sandwich? You know that college degree you have this is what you're using it for On it boss. I'm certainly not Peter Parker. I mean, I'm certainly not spider-man My name's Peter Parker. What? But he Stupid I'm mad

They went to three separate Los Angeles location. So this is LA based which is interesting Because this isn't the wake of the lawsuit filed earlier this year alleging that the sandwich chain was serving customers quote-unquote a mixture of various Concoctions that do not constitute tuna. Can I also say this though? And we get a little too litigious in this country. We do how and I'm not even I'm not Subway should be if they call it tuna it should have tuna in it. I've always said that I mean with you Of course, of course unless of course there is no tuna and maybe it's plant based in which case it could be healthier I still call it like cactus tuna or you call it something else You call it something else

But how sad is your life when you eat tuna sandwiches from subway every day and then you get something up in your head And you're like I don't think this is tuna and then you go as far as getting a lawyer and filing a lawsuit Just to get the answer to the big tuna question. There's just so much more going on in the world It's because they got cut from the first round of America's Got Talent That would I honestly that would do it. Also. I didn't watch T. Payne sing on the mass singer and he's actually very talented He's got a beautiful voice. He really does. Um, so now there's two conclusions according to this data, right? They say the hair is there's no amplifier to there's no amplifiable tuna DNA that none of it was present in the sample Um, they cannot identify the sample if it's 60 inches of tuna. It's 60 inches of tuna

That is five sandwiches three scoops per sandwich. So that is 15 scoops of tuna So is it two conclusions one? It's so heavily processed that whatever we could pull out we couldn't make an identification Which honestly is more pure than anything else as pure American melting pot is so unbelievably disgusting Yeah, or we got some and there's just nothing in that Specific one that we got if you that's tuna. Oh my god The whole point of a chain restaurant is that every experience is supposed to be the same That's when when you're traveling in your home sick

You go to an apple squeeze you go to an apple bees you go to a chilies because you know when you're there your family That is actually the olive garden, but all over on fucking trees Is that that fucking shit? Isn't that insane? We experienced that when we were in Italy, but when it comes to subway I assume 60 inches of their tuna randomly selected from random restaurants That's got to be pretty indicative of there's no tuna in the tuna I'm pretty fucking certain but what they're saying here is that that they might have a hard time Discerning which protein it is after the food is all cooked down Because these instruments that they're using are not necessarily there to find the tuna that they're looking for there

They're designed to look for other things now They're looking for tuna, but if it was so cooked down it was meltdown and actually this is a correct Correlation to the UAP report Wow, because they said a part of the reason why 143 out of 144 recorded UAP sightings that could not they could not be identified It's because the actual sensors that they have are not built to measure the UAP phenomena specifically Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'm assuming it's unidentified aerial phenomena. Yeah, it is that if inside edition was in charge of the UAP research

I think we'd get to the bottom of it because inside edition did the subway tuna investigation In addition also what is happening to our institutions? Well, they have crumbled and also our truly true talk our hearts go out to the people in Miami. Yes That is so frickin here of horrifying so scary people deserve to live in homes that don't collapse on them So hopefully some justice is brought a brief sidebar is that I remember how I lived in apartment complexes for years that had like the elevator Certification on them would say like, you know, maybe it'll work four years ago And you think like oh, there's no way it can't be you know that unsafe and then all of a sudden your neighbor who's nine months pregnant Can stuck inside the elevator this shit happens all over the country

It's why we kind of need a gigantic infrastructure reboot New York has some of the scariest elevators ever I've almost been stuck in multiples. I was stuck in seeing a John Gosnevy's Elevator was a tiny one and that was scary any hoot inside edition. They brought their crack research in February They tested sandwiches in New York now. However, they said that their samples did contain a little bit of tuna I think they were stunts one subway employee He tried to dispel all these rumors by showing the bag That had the tuna in it and he said of course it's tuna. It says flake white tuna in brine on the box What is have you a tuna guy at Subway? Have you ever had it? I told I talked about it for years

I used to eat the tuna with barbecue trips on top of it Well, I mean, I understand the barbecue chip thing. I guess but why that's gross It's a little girl. That's what I used to like. I am dirty. I have to do that I get a big a beverage I like about the Barbecue chips on it and they gave it some texture so you feel like you're eating something It's not just a bunch of cream Any but wow, this is huge because

They're they're really coming out of hard because they said I don't think a sandwich place would intentionally Mislabel Dave Rudy. That's what he's trying to say the cantalina offshore products the guy that sends around the tuna Yes, he's the tuna man. He's the president of the Catalina offshore products. They buy any kind of tuna. That's his tuna There's any fraud in this case. It's happening at the cannery. It's happening at the cannery Our workmen at the cannery the fishermen they're blaming the fishermen We need to check the pockets of all these fishermen of all the people who are canning this so-called tuna if there's tuna in said Pockets, we know who's stealing it much like that Johnny Cash song about building a car one piece at a time So people are taking this very seriously. I read for Subway

They told complex magazine the taste and quality of our tuna make it one of Subway's most popular products It is these baseless Accusations threatened to damage our franchisees small business owners who work tirelessly to uphold the standards Tested 60 inches of tuna. There is there's a base. There's 60 inches of a base They go on that's five feet. This person is really going in this rep for Subway. They go on to say Given the facts the lawsuit constitutes a reckless and improper attack Subway's brand and goodwill and of course it does of course threaten the livelihood of the California franchisees I'm gonna say this go with their chicken. I like their little roasted chicken breast

I like the roasted chicken but honestly, you know what Eddie got Ed fucking Larson got me into what Jersey Mike's Yeah, I fell to them. I just tell to their sword. They get a little oily I like a little oily Eddie added oil to those sandwiches that we ate you're talking about at the baby shower No, not at the baby shower. I've ordered it now. I go no oil. Yeah, they went oil crazy I want to be in charge of my oil. That's it any way Ireland Supreme Court also came against Subway because they said you can no longer legally call Subway sandwiches Bread because there's too much sugar. What are we eating? The big main over focus here that we need to have is what are what is food his food?

Subway if it's not considered bread in Ireland, which I don't think they're known for help Anybody could talk about fucking food and being bad. It's it can't be Ireland. All right That's how bad Subway bread is even the Irish. They're hammered. They're vented benign. Oh, they don't know anything about food Well, any but we love the Irish can't wait to go. We love the I love Ireland and next time all my previous comments Well, I don't think you've said anything too. I've grown over time. They like being bog people. We're bog people, too I want to go see what's this button? We're not gonna go to Dublin or maybe we will but I want to go see like rural Ireland We have to go out to the hills. Yeah, I'm excited for it. All right guys So the UAP report has come out. This is it's it's a full

nine pages That'll get to the bottom of it But you should really read it because it some of their findings well I have poo pooed it in the past and I poo pooed some of the hearsay had heard about it It is interesting to see it written out because number one it talks because it Talks about the US Navy being the forefront of the UAP phenomenon It throws a little bit of shade in the Air Force Why because they said they've had a hard time getting the Air Force to

cooperate with these investigations because Basically, they do say that in the report which I think is important because of the previous attitude towards UAPs Because it has been it it creates ridicule and people make fun of you They say that you're not a reliable person if you have seen a UFO Sure, and so they are they openly acknowledged that in the report and again 143 of 144 sightings they are now saying are inconclusive. They don't know what they are They that's the one that they found was that a they said it was a balloon. Oh, yes They said it was a balloon they they used these sightings that they had for 2004 to

2020 okay, so everything that was new everything that was a part of what they try to arc Basically they try to create a standardized form of reporting a sighting about two years ago Hmm, and now they're trying to say we really do need an even more standardized version of testing to really figure out What's the scientific basis of all of these sightings because the main thing they label it under five specific? I want to say like types of what they might consider to be What UAPs are so number one is airborne clutter that's the thing that they're actually Most concerned about they start yes shit in the sky that is getting in the way of our jets Okay, so according them these objects include birds balloons recreational unmanned aerial vehicles drones that kind of shit

Okay, so they think it's that it's things just getting in the way of our jets then they Then it's natural atmospheric phenomena, which is what the British are actually Concentrating quite a bit of their efforts. They're saying that they think that what it might be is some form of plasma Plasma type Energy bullshit that is forming inside of our atmosphere and are it basically is kind of What I said about how the phenomena is imitating our our planes and our technology that it's that but it's some kind of Unintelligent earthly phenomena plasma plasma. Okay, just said that it is Industrial development projects, which is what they're trying to say is within the US government

Are there hyper secret parts of the US government that are creating technology that they don't know about right? This is why this is why we've got to audit the Pentagon But it's gonna be difficult get them sit down with all those receipts I know but they are openly saying that they don't think it's anything that we have they are that is the main thing at the UAP report really comes out and says is that they don't think it's us and they don't think it's the last with the second Alas one which is for an adversary systems, which comes from Russia or China They don't think Russia or China also has anything like this. And so the last big category is a thing called other Because the UAP report does not refer to extraterrestrials in any way shape or form it only says that they are trying to keep this

sane Logical based in reality. Well, I hope that the the Navy and the Air Force aren't fighting too much over it They're gonna need to come together. I don't think they should be calling each other like air cucks and sea dicks Well, that's what they're trying to say here is that all of the they're trying to create cooperation between all the different departments And the main thing at the very end says we need more money And see they sneak that in right in the very end 750 billion bucks a year. Oh, yeah, they said we definitely need more money Which honestly does make sense because what I alluded to during the subway tuna update was the concept that our

ships and our planes have very sensitive machinery on there that is used to test for a wider var a Wide array of a bullshit of sky to know sky to know So this is what this is to you might as well call the sky to know they don't know what it is sure. Absolutely. It's an a it's a U a Be unidentified Find it. What is it a fine aerial brand? Sure. Okay, that's fine. Um, but the French also put out a Report the same week that is sponsored by Sigma two over there And what they have said is they are way more pointed towards they think it might be extraterrestrial mixed with some sort of natural

Phenomena that we don't understand. They also don't think it's other people's technology. They think that it's something it's something atmospheric But can we trust the French? Well, they do throw some shade against the British in it as well. Okay, that's kind of fun But it is interesting apparently the report that the Senate got so the Congress actually got a report that it's about 90 pages So it's ten times this report, right? And this report that this nine-page one What it seems to do is hit a bunch of the highlights that they talk about and then the secret 90 page report is Actually has all of the shit that this nine-page top sheet. Yeah, like what it refers to so it talks about all of the specific things Like how they built there was 11 near missus that they said that's the biggest thing which is

Objects coming at the nose cone of jets and then diverting which is very I don't want to think about that Bro, we're gonna start traveling again. I can't have all of that anxiety rolling around in my head fucking mothman's all over Chicago It's gonna be really hard flying in and out of Chicago when you got yourself a totally nude seven-foot moth Zipping around these senators are total morons. I really don't think that they deserve to see the full 90-page document I'm sure that human beings could handle it I actually would love to know that information just for my own little brain noodle to see how scary is it to fly I'm assuming everything will be safe. It's scary I just don't think that those senators deserve to have all of that information and not us. We deserve that info

We can handle it give us the truth now. You got Lou Elizondo's threatening to show some footage She says that he had a whole don't been doing that for a long time That's all he does But he is saying that he had a bunch of high fidelity footage that got deleted When he was kicked out of a tip when he said he was in charge of it, which I doubt entirely I think he was a janitor for a tip that managed to steal shit and give it to the New York Times But that's fine. That's my opinion but But jamry corbel that did the phenomenon who's did he's a documentary director that he was on roguin

He's on a bunch of shit He's saying he has other new highly clear footage that he's supposed to drop. I believe on TMZ It's supposed to have it. We'll see how that fucking goes. Honestly, but we are in We're in unprecedented times more than one way because the we're seeing them really take you AP seriously I guess at first I was kind of like obviously, you know, whatever they say. I don't believe them But the fact that the US government did come out and say you AP and the words. I don't know Wrapped up in it is very interesting But you know, it's another it could be another special ops deep dark covert to fucking sci-op play as well

Well, they're gonna have to go on roguin And spill the beans here. Yeah, of course. No honestly come here Well speaking let's just come back to earth really quick sex human beings sex How many people are lonely out there? Sure. Yeah, and sometimes they turn to sex dolls and this story I actually find this story to be uplifting. I almost made this sex doll hero of the week Wow a person requested an I grandpa, which is a sex doll that has its elderly That's wrinkles. It has silver hair kind of looks like an older Marcus Parks in some ways. Mmm. Good. That's great I'm sure he'll love that. Oh, he does look like he really does wow

It really does even this looks like Julian Assange a little bit free Julian Assange Would you the real doll captioned its Instagram post by saying, okay? We get daddy issues But this might be a whole new level kind of making fun of the person a little bit the company's flagship sex doll is the artificially intelligent Harmony doll and it's also working now in a male sex doll and you know what it's called what Henry I'm already a male sex doll. There is a sex doll that I just lie there a sex doll that looks like an older Marcus And they've named it Henry. So this is directly marketed to our fans

This is my question if you so it has a dick, right? It must so do you operate it yourself? So you take the old man doll you put it on top of you You stick the dick inside of you and then you move the butt back and forth to be fucking you Just kind of a long-form dildo, but does it have a butthole so that you could fuck him? Like does it get to also be a bottom or the term verse? I've also heard this is an exact sentence and this is coming from the sun calm They say the company has been working on a bionic penis for Henry that will be able to become a wreck So you just get the what why do you need anything more than a lair pump?

This is not your wife consoling you this is a man I'm dollar and he's gonna need to see a pretty big ding-dong on this old man I know as we all know from the YMCA showers growing up gravity takes a toll on the male genitalia An old man have ding-dongs that go to their knees. I know but then it doesn't get fully hard unless you got the pump in there Yeah, that's true. So according to the CEO of real doll. That's Matt McCollum. He previously was joking about this He says we're gonna be working on some form of very E-pickle a pickle insert for Henry so that he's able to lift trucks with his penis Whoa, it's gonna be huge

You can't fuck him though you have to fuck him, but I mean like a butthole Yeah, you can't like a man can't get Henry and fuck him They or you can't fuck him with the strap on if you like that I would assume that they've carved in the butthole. I hope so very easy. I would think I mean I think it's the erect penis that seems very difficult for them to figure out. Hey, man If they can figure out these these wheelies, you know, you mean you put it on the bottom of your shoes I'll figure out how to get that doll hard. I did love those shoes Those were so fun kids used to use them in the mall. So real dolls. They're working really hard really to domestic terrorism

However, they are also very cautious. They don't want the boner to get too strong because that could cause harm What do you mean? This is what this is that sounds like what I say to my wife This is what Mike Mullin explained He says we're already starting to animate the body The problem is when can a body be animated and then be safe to throw into someone's bed? Oh, it probably humps So he says a robotic arm that's strong enough to lift the entirety of its silicone weight is pretty darn strong And if something goes a little bit off with that, I could take your it could take your head off

This is huge. Oh, wow, we're gonna see so many sex bot murders. I can't wait for that new news 10 years from now Oh, so it can perch. Oh, wow And then it has a hulk mechanism. It's a whole way. Does that have a video to show how it work? Well, this isn't the one that we're referencing though. This is just another three We can just lay there, but it can't pump. I want to see it pump. I you know, it's a long process This is them. They're just kind of making it. But yeah, I mean the female sex dolls They are talking and everything now. That's just them kind of making it. It's a lot of art It is a lot of art, but you imagine you're having sex with this really old old weird dude

That is a robot and then he just starts choking me out and how scary is that? I guess you kind of like the surprise. You might like the surprise interestingly enough professor There's a lot that goes into this. I'm just realizing professor. Oh professor Noel Sharkey He's a chairman of the Foundation for Responsible Robotics. Okay, he's a guilt-free threesome It was just one of the potential uses for sex robots really interesting, but others include Tell a dildo nonix. Tell What's tell a dildo nonix? Well, it's a wireless technology which allows a person to stimulate their partner remotely and it already exists in many vibrators on the market today

Oh crazy a cockmobile you literally can sit in your home And you can send an old man robot out at somebody else's wife or girlfriend and watch them get fucked by the machine Wow, and I guess that's not cheating You are watching from the side because then you could do your own cock porn yourself Where you're watching the robot rail on your fucking wife or your girlfriend and you just sit there And you don't even have to worry about dealing with the the buck now having your phone number You don't have to worry about him just showing up randomly asking to borrow your car Um, I think you're gonna have to have a relationship conversation

Because if you walked in and Natalie was boning this old man named Henry and then you would be I would be like what so what? Oh, no I'm talking about you being involved in the conversation where you'd I guess the term would be higher Henry You'd have come you get to purchase him because then also do you own Henry? Especially Henry can say stuff like can I have a glass of water? Yeah, what does he say short circuit the dick. What do you think he'd say? Uh, probably how much he loved fucking you? I love to fuck. I love to fuck. Um, I am real. I have a soul So the sex bots they also have hyper realistic features such as built-in heaters to create the feeling of body warmth

Wow, and they have sensors that react to your touch They've got a lot better since the old days where I was shopping at Eldorado's and Steven's point where they just was an inflatable sheep that used to get me I like it give your buddies like a fuck sheep It was just a torso with Jenna Jameson's boobs and then her butt and then her vagina, but it wasn't It wasn't quite as interactive as this fellow this old man Henry So if you're lonely out there try a sex robot, but I also feel like Don't let it replace human contact. I mean, it's not gonna. Oh, but then again, what do I know? I don't know

That's what you like. That's what you like. Okay. It's interesting Uh, here is another very interesting story. We've got a lot of good news this week. What is going on with exorcisms? There's a lot of exorcisms out there. I think people are bored looking for a hobby This is police. This comes from the filly voice calm police kick out group holding exorcism for the dead trees at Pennsylvania Home Depot I don't even understand the sentence. I don't know a police report from Dixon County and Lackawanna County Raise eyebrows this week for its bizarre description of an incident that happened Monday 326 p.m. Commerce Boulevard at Home Depot for disorderly people having an exorcism in the lumber aisle for the dead trees

They were escorted out of the building and they're all laughing at them. Obviously exorcism for trees I I don't know but the police officer was sort of correctly condescending when he said There are two people hanging out in a lumber department doing their little exorcism thing Some people at the store are starting picking up that something was happening. There was not necessarily normal Police were called into the store and they were escorted out of the building. Okay. I don't really understand Apparently they were doing it because all of the trees were dead there They were trying to help the souls of the trees trees pass on okay I mean, I guess it was well-intentioned also Home Depot

You probably have trees that aren't dead if you're trying to sell trees to people But yeah, that was just one of the exorcism stories. There's another one that comes in from Plymouth and This is involving a 19-year-old kid named Jack Callahan He was trying to exercise the demons from his father before his death And they were at a place called Ducksbury pond But then the dad just died so I guess it didn't work or did it? I don't know so no it's supposed to work. It's supposed to live. Yeah, please say Callahan. That's the 19-year-old He went to a bar in Boston and then he got totally lit sure

Yeah, and then he started getting creative and then the gears start turning Yeah, and then in uber picked him up and then dropped him off at the island Creek pond in Crocker Park and Then Jack said his father hit him then a fight moved into the pond And then it seems like Callahan told investigators he believed he was baptizing his father in the pond to exercise his demons According to police they say he described that he was holding his father in the pond on his back like a little baby That he continually dunked his father's head in the water about four to eight times And then his father started to cough and choke and then we lift his head up And then he would and then when his father started to fight and strike him

He pushed that back down into the water. He did so until his father was no longer struggling and floating It seems like it was more of a murder. Yeah, um, yeah, that's not an exorcism. That's a drowning He just would sound like he was trying to do a baptism not an exorcism Which also doesn't necessarily make any sort of sense It sounds like and I may be out in a limb here They were very intoxicated and that they got into a fight and then he decided to do them Remember the movie the apostle of course with Robert Duvall and Robert Duvall one of the best of all time He's one of the best Italian Irish that's out there

And they went out there and he just dunking in them and dunking them and dunking them Honestly, I feel like if he were to maybe stop and say hey, what are we doing here? He might regret his actions Yep, and so of course he was arrested for the murder of his father But you know what he's 19. I feel like it's all in the family This isn't the worst murder. I feel like if I'm a dad and I'm doing all this crazy stuff And I'm fighting my 19-year-old son sometimes the 19-year-old son wins the battle the defendant indicated to officers that he made Statements to the victim at this time stating I left him there to decide you can come to heaven with me or hell I think he chose hell. I mean you chose hell

Because you murdered him Put him and if he was gonna go to hell you would you quickened him to hell and now you will go to hell if any of that holds Yeah, I have a feeling that might not hold He will be in hell though cuz he's gonna go to prison. No only has to do say I'm sorry right before he dies And then he gets the Hail Mary pass and then he's fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. God This is this is another harrowing story I It's been a while since we've had chimp news It really has and it's so good to have it

I because it's nice to mix up the crimes with other species. Absolutely. That's not just fucking them You know I mean because we have so many like someone's telling us technically the fake story of a which I thought I did thought it was I thought it was a funny sentiment like the guy you said, uh, hey Yeah, I might be a chicken fucker because you got caught fucking all these chickens Yeah, I fucked these chickens because every time I thought about fucking my mother I instead had sex with these chickens And I guess that's better. Yeah, I don't know but I do I see how the logic tracks But this story is about you got to be careful about your pets and when it really comes out to its 2021 When did we first cover a chimp attack like ten years ago? Nine years round table of gentlemen used to do a weekly segment

I feel like on chimp attacks because there was that one woman who gave that chimp all of that wine and That chimp ripped her face off We definitely played a 911 call during that episode where we heard the harrowing noises of a woman being attacked by a chimp And we're about to do it again, but this is not this is not nearly as graphic as the last one I just like I want you guys to hear the The the directions of the former a-boner, but let me explain let me read through what went down Yeah, please this is from organ live calm Umatilla County or maybe umatilla County sheriff's deputy kills chimpanzee that attacked woman

Hmm an umatilla County sheriff's deputy shot and killed the chimpanzee Sunday after it attacked a 50-year-old woman in Pendleton The woman who officials have not identified was taken to st. Anthony's Hospital in Pendleton. Well, it's gotta be pretty easy to identify Or she's the one who just got into a fight with a chimpanzee She's probably missing her fingers and hands covered in gym bites. Yeah Tamara bro Giotti is the chimps owner She reported around Sunday 8 p.m. That the chimpanzee had gotten out of its cage and attacked her daughter She said her daughter was trapped inside of a basement bedroom now It's just this is really interesting because apparently the chimpanzee was named as was buck

It was 17 years old or maybe a little bit older dang, okay Apparently Oregon made it illegal to own chimpanzees in 2010 But authorized anyone who had already owned an ape Prior to that time to keep the animal for the remainder of its life the grandfathered a man, okay? Good good for what was the chimps damn again buck buck But apparently this is according to Erica Fleury who was a program director at the North American primate Sanctuary Alliance Attacks from any privately owned primate in captivity should be expected Because these animals are not living healthy lives where they can express their natural urges and engage in natural behaviors

Yeah, that's absolutely horrible and it seems like Bro Giotti She understood that this animal was Probably not treated very well and probably very angry because when she gave a call to the police Her exact words were here here. We'll play it. Let's play this audio because some of it She seemed to know that this chimp was a gonna kick some ass. It is attacked my 50-year-old daughter She needs an ambulance the ambulance cannot get to her because I've locked myself in the basement with her. I can't get out to get my own gun Okay, I'm the patio. You're gonna have to do a headshot. Okay, she's

Is she bleeding? She's bleeding profusely and she needs an ambulance. I'm crying. Where are you bleeding now? Yeah, we've got he did her We've got them in route right now Okay, is Terry roll in there? Ma'am we're sending a deputy right now hang on one second Okay, I'm sorry one because the eight if the eight gets a drop on and he's gone, too We're sending we're sending we're sending Pendleton as well. There's no

I've never seen anything like this. She got to be put down. Okay. Do you have pressure on the wounds? She's trying. I'm trying to guard her from a 200 pound eight. So I can't really put pressure on it ma'am and don't You're both locked in the basement You're both locked in the basement, correct? We're both locked in the basement. Yes And they've got to get to do a headshot on the eight Don't say oh, it's cute to come here. It will attack them. She is and actually the the chimpanzee was killed But it's very shot to the head with no human side though this time So that's why it's less grizzly because no humans died

It is difficult because buck was out of control. I just say that woman. I was she a little rude I think she was a little bit rude to the 9-1-1 operator. It is interesting I would I don't know how I would react But I just feel like she was very like you've just been living with this ape for 17 years And then it goes apeshit literally and then you Know exactly what to do which is like she's not freaking out because you remember how heartbreaking the first 9-1-1 called because she was Genuinely very emotionally close of course Yeah, she was very close to that monkey and she really wanted it like she was upset though

Everything was going on me all this woman's like shoot it in the head. No problem. You're gonna have to shoot it in the head Because if not it comes back to life two taps There's not a body, you know, it's not dead. You see the dead body Yeah, she seemed like too calm with the future assassination of what I would assume was a beloved animal And let's me not anymore like dog shit, which is also possible Which is maybe why the ape freaked the fuck out absolutely Well, it's also just because they're really not supposed to be in human like homes No, especially after a certain age when they get older they get more aggressive and they can fucking rip your arms off

Yeah, dude, I'm not messing with them. Although. Maybe like a little what do you what was like bubbles? What was bubbles was a chip, but he was tiny. No bubbles with a thing about bubbles is that man? He could keep a secret. Yes, he could. He's a little man. Well. All right speak. I wish I had the pencil oil Oh, thank you so much for that wonderful impression Here's kind of a fun story and you know what I say this one kids hits close to home because I would have gone to this perhaps Well, this it sounds like a fucking either the funnest or worst time on the face of the plant Can it be both? Yes, it's a redneck rave tens of thousands of people Attended a five-day redneck rave festival

It was it took place in Kentucky at a thing called the mammoth cave But believe it or not when you get a bunch of rednecks together violence ensues. They also had flamethrowers Looks absolutely insane tens of thousands. It was branded It was branded as America's wildest and craziest country party. It is that man You see that man shooting that is a 20 foot long flame. It is out of a flame thrower It doesn't look like it was very safe, but any hoot 48 people have been charged after a redneck rave in Kentucky Descended into chaos one man even had his throat slit another woman was choked in a fight over a blanket and another man Became impaled on a log. Oh, yes

It's just if you look at the pictures, it's incredible It's just a picture of a woman with a sign that says take a hit up take a shot of my breast milk With the breast pump and she is got a whole thing full of pump a whole thing all full of milk And then also like the guy whose car is stuck in a ravine and with a flag on it that says fuck Biden They are exuberant I would feel more safe hanging out with juggalos at the juggalofest any time of the day that hanging out with these people They were having fun though. Did you ever go until they weren't not a no, I never really went mud I went one time and it is very interesting because you get all at all muddy

Everybody's drinking even the 15 year olds, especially the drivers Of course you get that whole circle all full of mud night The whole thing is you get the car stuck in the mud and another guy comes and pulls it out Yes, exactly, and they really like it. There was actually a story that that took place from MTV I forget what the name of the show was white Trashy kids who want to be famous. I forget the name of the show, but I do died because he He got his little muffler. It was in the mud and then carbon monoxide went into his car and he died That's so scary. Yeah, they had they actually edited the episode. Whoa, that's a serious. It was well look at this

Yeah, this is another one Hodges denied choking. This is another woman who got This is very very interesting They the people fighting over the blanket a 29 year old Lancer Hodges was arrested after You allegedly strangled a woman until she passed out because they got fighting over that blanket The victim who told police you couldn't breathe and blacked out during your deal was left with scratch scratches and fingerprints under underneath on In fingerprints behind her ears, which is very funny. I mean, but in a sad way and fingerprints behind her ears Hodges denied choking the woman, but he was actually charged with strangulation and something called wanton endangerment Which actually I should be charged for several times. I'm a wanton serial killer. Absolutely everyone loves a good wanton

According to the Edmondson County Sheriff Shane Doyle Believe it or not. He says they were intoxicated They got into a fight and then this is regarding the throat slicing one of one of them slit the other one's throat and Then fled the park. They haven't arrested the throat slasher yet No, I mean he's still out there a man driving a side-by-side at the festival He got his log impaled in his and abdomen, which I don't understand how that even happens Authorities say the man drove over the log But it broke through the floorboard of his recreational vehicle

Oh stab them in the abdomen. They keep saying abdomen. I think they mean asshole may be through the tank If it came up through the seat, maybe through the seat or maybe through where you got the Accelerator and decelerator. What do you call that when it tried to come out through his back? It was stopped by a steel plate behind his seat The first responders were forced to leave the log and the man's abdomen when they while they airlifted him to the hospital Wow, look at the sea of bodies in this picture, dude That's a nightmare man I remember hearing a story about that where the dude was impaled by a tree and then you're still alive

But as soon as they take you off of that tree You're gonna die so they're like so dude We got about ten minutes then you're gonna be dead and it probably happened to this guy How'd you get a log out of somebody? He's probably just dead now flax. Oh my gosh But it were multiple others who suffered severed severed fingers, but broken bones Just look at it joints first and severe lacerations. This makes Woodstock 99 look like it was nothing but a pleasant time Dude, I have no problems with the redneck Riviera. I have no problem. I think it's a lot of fun. I totally get it I actually I almost applaud these people for continuing to do this even through all the carnage

Do they kept partying because I think that's the real spirit of America They don't care if they lose a bunch of fingers if one guy fucking gets a log stuck up his asshole out through his back He is expressing his freedom absolutely According to officer Doyle, they say the first vehicle that they stopped So this is the first vehicle they stopped the first vehicle that came through we found meth marijuana and an open alcohol container Whoa, and one of the occupants had two active warrants, and we're like well, this doesn't bode well for the weekend 2021 what a colossal nightmare at the end of the day Oh, yeah, absolutely

You don't really want to go but at the same time I do like I do I want to see it from a safe distance I don't so I drive a truck around also The dude who organized it his name is Justin Stowe. He boasted that the festival was the coolest thing I've seen in my whole life, of course, and then he goes on to say We can definitely improve in a lot of things to make the one in October run a lot better We are listening to all of our we're listening to all your suggestions This was the biggest event we've ever done and with as many people and random things that popped up unexpectedly I feel like we handle it pretty well

Yeah, I guess everyone could have died, you know like every single person there could have been hurt of course the Of course the dude who organizes like not one slashing one death a couple of people severed fingers Not bad out of a test group of 48,000 people that they said came 48,000 there was tens of thousands was a 48,000. I don't know. That's a lot I mean honestly even 10,000 people's a lot to get it one rave. That's a lot I guess it must cover a lot of land, but the party does look like a lot of fun It looks like if you farting if burning man was called farting man Alright anyway, let's see. I think it's time for you're the week. I think it is

So this hero of the week this is just an authentic one It's about a Boy Scout they can do good things and they sometimes get demeaned but sometimes you learn a good thing in Boy Scouts I never did it. Yeah, BTK learn how to tie all those knots. Oh, that's kind of that's a horrible thing Anyway, this is Missouri a Missouri Boy Scout rescued a drowning woman from a flooded park So this man's name is Joseph Deener and his friend Dominic Viet. He is Dominic is 15 and Joseph is 16 They were just riding their bikes in Columbia. That's an Eagle Scouts. They're supposed to do that's what they did And they heard an 18 year old woman screaming and they're like what the heck is going on She was struggling near a submerged basketball hoop

so this must have been some kind of flash flood or something and they were like we know what to do we're Boy Scouts and They went in and they rescued the woman according to sources They say the person had entered the water to swim to the best of our knowledge These two young Boy Scouts come by and heard the distress calls for two 15 and 16 year old boys to react that way It was very heroic. So good job guys. Good work, and you saved a life Which now means you get to take a life. Yeah, it would be kind of cool if that worked that way Yeah, one free murder man. That'd be sweet. Get that murder badge

So the teens they did a very good thing and so congratulations She was reportedly the woman was reportedly conscious and speaking and was taken to the University Hospital where her condition is unknown But it seems as if she will survive Wow, good job, and they're Scout master They said they were very happy with the boys and they better give them some kind of badge I they better give them a badge and hopefully it's not the I got molested batch. Nope We don't want that one these Boy Scouts clean them up now. It's time for some listen or email. All right So we covered that story last week about a woman burning her a 59 year old woman burning her

81 year old husband to death with sugar water and at first we didn't understand the sugar water thing But apparently it's called prison napalm. That's a good thing that it's been called So listen to this at first fall. We asked how does burns kill a person this comes from a doctor. Oh Oh Massive infection is always a risk with burns to cover a large surface area of the body Third-degree burns are full thickness which mean the outmost layers of skin Evolved to form a watertight barrier against infection is compromised These burns need to be scraped and dressed daily and aside from being exquisitely painful

Become an easy source for infection at this state of critical illness The immune system is already taxed and someone could develop a blood infection a key a aka sepsis and die very easily Especially someone who is elderly Furthermore burns cause massive amounts of swelling and inflammation Which quite literally pulls fluid out of your blood vessels and into the swelling tissue This in turn drops your blood pressure and it becomes very difficult to keep it within normal levels We can give more IV fluid all we want But it will just leak out the into the inflamed areas around the burns

Pro long people doctors. I still don't know how people are doctors. It's amazing Pro long low blood pressure can cause critical damage to your kidneys liver and heart given the patient's advanced age and likely frail status It's likely he died of multi-system organ failure from one or both of these things in combination great That is that's a terrible way to die So be careful with sugar water be very careful with sugar water because you'll get burns all over you and it goes down through Oh and look at all of this skin. I'm just looking Oh my god, how delicious your skin would be was roasted in covered in spices. It would be tasty. Oh, right Okay, here. This is this better haunted house. Oh cool

My grandparents bought Elmwood, which is what they called the house in Washington, North Carolina in the 60s and raised my mom and her Four younger siblings there It was there until about six years ago when they sold it to a couple from DC who have since turned it into a bed and breakfast Which Hillary Duff stayed in. Oh my god. Elmwood was built in 1820 and served as a Union army headquarters and hospital during the Civil War as you can imagine the energy in the place was pretty nuts. Oh, yeah Growing up I knew the house was supposedly haunted and would constantly try to convince the adults to spill the deets that they had after they had a Cocktail or two over the years

I am asked a handful of creepy stories which most of the non believing adults in the family shrugged off But I believed wholeheartedly Things like my mom and aunt going to bed in their own beds and waking up in each other's My grandmother waking up with a cloaked figure standing over her bed also according to lore There was a Union soldier who committed suicide in one of the rooms Which was somewhat predictably referred to as the dead man's room My grandparents let each of their first four kids pick their bedrooms and then dubbed the unpicked room the dead man's room Oh, that worked pretty well until my aunt came along and had a deal with the room stigma perhaps unfair to this day

No one knows which room rightfully holds the title, but we all have our opinions My older sister is particularly sensitive to paranormal activity when she came of age quote-unquote Period okay, she began to attract unwanted attention from our ghost soldier friends one night when she was visiting our grandparents from college She was woken up by a sinking feeling on the mattress next to her She then felt an aggressive male presence climb over her on all fours shake the bed violently before rolling over and disappearing Another time my sister and I were in joining rooms with two of her other friends connected by a bathroom We kept the bathroom doors open between the rooms because we were all a little terrified My sister and I were woken in the middle of the night by a violent and inexplicably an

inexplicable Rattling sound while her friends in the other room were woken by a ringing alarm clock which they had to unplug to turn off Despite the close proximity and open doors We didn't hear anything in their room and vice versa And when my grandparents put the house on the market the activity increased in the house to the point where my previously non-believing grandmother Finally admitted that there was some unexplained shit happening Yeah, she began to hear knocking from interior doors and various sounds class breaking blah blah blah

They seem to be reacting to conversations about selling the house interesting It is interesting grandmother as a believer usually the grandmother is the one that warns everyone in the house that the house is indeed Wanted there because they're closest to heaven indeed. All right, everyone Well, thank you all so much for listening and we hope you're doing good out there We can't wait to announce as soon as we can the tour Just so you know a couple of things this week the black and death episode We aren't we actually cut the last episode into two because it was so long. This is a fiber We got a fiber here turning it into a fiber

Just letting you know that because we turned it We basically cut a three-hour episode in half Because we can actually fit in even more details now and that's what we like And we also think that y'all like we we're having such a good time doing the episodes And we can't wait to find but just so you know We have a bunch of shit coming up that you're gonna be very excited about also know for a fact Oh, there's a let's just let's just say there's an after-credits scene in this upcoming episode. Oh Very interesting indeed

We'll also have some weed conversation for you because we're starting to get it in Los Angeles July 24th We're going to be in Santa Anna at Weedon. We're going to be there. I don't know the hours yet Well, we're gonna be there meet and greet. We're doing it We're gonna be how can our weed and we're gonna be so in our seat probably be stoned as hell, too Yes, yeah, yeah, we're gonna be it's gonna be a low-energy meet and greet All right everyone hail yourselves. Oh, yeah, you're gonna you're not gonna let me. Oh, no, that's right Yeah, that's my life. Love my life. Love my life for me. I do look at me love my life Yeah, sure cuz you know and it's like to live in these

Vans and short shorts. Yeah, my little moccasins. You know what it's like. I do what do you what would you think? It's like living my life probably kind of comfortable. It is yeah You can't be yeah, you can wear tiny clothes. I do have tiny clothes. Yeah, we have a different existence. That's right And hey sometimes they think about our differences and I just laugh laugh you have to have to because if not end up crying And it's not live laugh cry is it it is not thank God. No one's allowed to live laugh cry. All right, everyone Thank you all so much for listening. Hail yourself. I'll take it look who's relations Hey, you know me Sugar is for candy

You're right not for burning not for burning people This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to the last podcast network.com