Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Slide Stories

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Henry & Eddie are back with stories! Henry breaks down Holden vs. The Slide, The Burbank Butt-Sniffer sniffs his way back to jail on fresh charges, Virgin Boy Eggs, The UK Amputee Specialist in hot water after having his own legs removed in sexual fetish, French doctor charged with intentionally poisoning, reviving, and then accidentally killing multiple patients, The Florida Man charged with spraying disabled children with his sprinklers, a Breaking Bad villain catches charges over car wash gone wrong, Listener E-Mails, Lady Listener Poo-Mail, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. 

There's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes oh shit no more tears we're cooking we're recording we'll start getting in there we'll start you know how you doing big man I just feel like the I'm sorry, normal man. I, no, I'm big.

I'm big. Here, feel me. Would you not say I'm thicker than I was? No, not my hand. No, not the palms of my hand. Feel my shoulder. Feel this. Okay.

Do you feel, does it feel thicker than it was? I don't guess it's been a while since I rubbed your shoulders. No, feel the back of it. I mean, it is. Actually, you know what? There's a bunch of muscle there. I'm starting to get there. As much as I want to just call you fat, there's muscle there.

I'm starting to fill out the sections of me that were once hollow. I think as a Polack, I'm a Polack as well. Yes. Go, the back grows. The back gets big. My problem is as much. Why is that, you think? I lift weights.

No, but I know that. I'm saying Polacks. Why do we all have big backs? All I know is I can't get cut, right? No. When I start lifting weights. You don't have a cut. You'll look weird.

I would look. Imagine if I look like Alex Jones. I would look like, what's his name? Al Roker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a bunch of plastic bags just strapped to a pole. No, yeah, no.

You don't look good cut. No, what I'm trying to do is just get big, but the more I work out, the more I look like a giant Balkan man on a farm. Yeah. Right?

The idea that Polish people have big backs is a horrible stereotype. For who? I never heard that stereotype. Yeah, exactly. I just said it because I know it. Yeah, because that's our lives.

That's the fucking big back life that we live. Is that way, Holder McNeillie's British Irish is all held. He couldn't fit in that fucking tube. Oh, my God. Welcome to side stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. What's the tube? I just wanted to do. We came back from our

surprise. We were on break. Yeah, we were on break. I didn't want to tell you. Yeah, Henry said, we're going to keep it a secret for them because they won't stop listening if they don't know. And guess what? They stop listening. It's how it happens. Because you guys said it. But we're back from break. And so just quick, before we get into the side stories of it all,

I was at the Wisconsin Dells. And I don't know if anybody's been the Wisconsin Dells, but it is... It's as modern as the computer DELs. Yes, it is... I want to say that the Dells are where like Tim Walts's

son would go. You know what I mean? Like it's the... It's exactly where Tim Walts is. Well, he has a daughter, I think. The moneyed working people of Wisconsin. It's a burger culture. They go to the Dells to relax. It is considered the Shangri-La of

Central Wisconsin. Yeah. Like the way I talked about it when I told Gurney who's from that part of the world that that's where we were going for our break. She was like, don't worry about paying me this week. You're going to need it. You're going to need that much, which is also hysterical because

nothing made me feel more like the fucking chic of Saudi Arabia than being in the Del's. It was so cheap. It was wonderful. So just say that, if you're from the coast and you want to feel like a millionaire, go to the Del's.

It's fucking amazing. But, so there's a part of this whole ritual, which I didn't know. So the people of Wisconsin, they're big. Yeah. Thick. Women are beautiful. Yeah. It's the men, men get big.

And when we were in the Dells. It's sad big. It's no, you know what? It's working big. These are men that work hard enough to be muscular, but drink enough and eat enough to still be fat. Oh, yeah. No, these are definitely like people who can carry a refrigerator on their back. Yes, they're strong, right?

But so they had to monitor these slides. So just for those you don't know, we went to this place called, I believe it was the Wilderness Resort. It is a, the nation's largest interconnected water park systems, right? You go to these places. It's indoor water parks, outdoor water parks, like, and lots of slides, all this type of shit, right? The thing I don't like. I don't necessarily like any bit of this, but I went with a family. Yeah.

I went with Holden's family. family. And it was really nice to see that joy inside of a child. Yeah. And watch the child have a good time. Winnie had a temper tantrum. And then I had a temper tantrum. And we went back and forth. And we catered to the family. It's funny when Winnie does it. But when you do it, it ends the day. Yeah, everybody gets upset. But no, I did very good. I had edibles. Right. So I just ate a lot of edibles. And there was a point where when you do these slides. Yeah, the joints don't go too well at the water park. Everybody gets angry. Also, I want to talk. quickly in Wisconsin. All right.

I want to know this. Side stories, L-P-O-T-L-G-Mill.com. Settle a debate within my family before I continued the story. We went to a liquor store. Holden and I were in

the liquor store. We start up a conversation with the man behind the counter. He was a congenial to us. We were laughing quite a bit about, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then he said something

along lines of the man behind the counter. Oh, well, I'm sober. I don't drink alcohol anymore. And I was like, ah, I bet you guys hate that Delta 9 out here. You know, you got that Delta 9

weed that's free legal weed right and he was like yeah i wish you know that delta nine's fine you know you whatever i don't say i bet you guys wish you had that free weed the real weed and he's like oh yeah of course yeah that would be amazing and it's like you know what i've discovered with a lot of these delta nine places is that when you go in them and you go up to the counter and you ask the the young person at the counter and say this is all great do you have any real weed a lot of time still to sell it to you. Yeah. Oh, is that what happened?

Good, no. Oh. So I just said that to him. And I was like, is there any place that might be like that hip here? Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, we just criminalized in the state of Wisconsin. It's completely illegal to sell.

Like, he hit me like a mustache. You look like a cop. But look at me. I have like a fucking tie-dye shirt on your cover. I've been arrested by a man with a beard and a tie-eye shirt. I'm the coolest guy in the world. Is this really just what Resting cop face is doing to me?

Yeah. That's exactly what it is. You're like, hey, brother. I was desperate for weed. You should have, dude, that's just no, I was being straight up. I was being matter of fact. I told you to just bring it.

It's hard. I didn't want to bring it in between. You're such a scarty baby. I am. Well, go back to all right. So I am. I normally do it. I normally got, because normally can, like, kind of find it.

Yeah. Normally, I just, I go into places and I just say stuff like weed. Yeah. And, like, people, like, will put me towards it. Bartenders are where you go. He was the bartender there. He's not a bartender. It's a liquor store.

It's a much different situation. He can get a lot of trouble. That's been Natalie said. He can lose his fucking license. That's been Natalie was saying. A bartender, it doesn't matter. I was like, I've never heard of, like, a liquor store, a clerk with any form of adherence to the rules.

There are certain rules. in the Midwest that you can't fuck with. I guess so. That's like marrying another man. Hey, it's getting gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw several big ugly gays at the Dallas, and I was actually, you know,

I was like, that's progress. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are some really good gay bars in Wisconsin. Oh, I bet. Have you been to the big suck? I've been, to Sheboygan. I went to a gay bar in Sheboygan by accident. It puts the boy in Sheboygan.

Yeah. Shamanan. I went to Shamangan. Shimangan. No, I was there with Amber Nelson. It was really funny because the one good patch of like fit men, like there was, and she was like, oh, it's a man. Maybe I could go talk to some man.

And I was like, I went by and I overheard them. I was like, they're the only gay people here. Those fit men are all homosexual and together. I remember the one time I went, I was at a wedding in Wisconsin. I was with, I was Adam Wirtz and Sam. It was his wedding. Oh, yes, I remember. And then we broke off.

He was with you, Kessel. Look up all the people. Went to the same place. Yeah, we broke off because there was no booze at the wedding. And then we broke off and we went to this bar because they were playing football. And we're like there for like 20 minutes. We're like, this place is really nice. Everybody loves us here.

A lot of good guys. Guys just hanging out. Play in dominoes. God bought me two shots. I was like, this is crazy. And then like, we were there for half an hour. It's like, this is a gay bar. It's nice, though.

In Wisconsin, it's, you can be gay and straight. Yeah. what the best part of gay bars is, there's not some chick telling you to leave. And I will say also, we know what Wisconsin also taught me about my own body. I'm the truly androgynous one. Yeah. I know

a lot of people say something like an Eddie Redmayne or David Bowie, you know, Youngblood are all of our favorites. Yeah. That they're more of like an androgynous style because they're a beautiful man. But I am both covered in hair and have huge tits. Yeah. So I got

both. You're there. I'm I am technically more androgynous than either of them. Yeah. Than any one of those guys. If you pound for pound and tit me. If you wanted to fuck the shit out of my tits, you could shave me up and get a hold of that. Yeah, you really could.

Yes. And so, but to finish the story. So read the slides. So Winnie, I was there with Holden, his lovely wife and his lovely daughter, Natalie and Amber. So they were watching Winnie filled with life, so excited for slides could only go on one.

All of the other slides scared her so she couldn't do it. But her father wanted to show her something. And I actually, it made me for the very first time look at Holden McNeely like he was a father. Oh. Because he... I still haven't done that. Exactly. It's hard

to. Yeah. But the way he nutted up for his own daughter, because his daughter was like, I don't know if daddy wants to go on the big swide. Technically she's here because he nudged up. Exactly. Nud it in. Nud it out. But she was like, Daddy,

oh dude, gonna go on the big swide. And he was like, I don't know. I don't know, honey, if I should. And we're all like, you know, sounds like Winnie wants to see you go on the super big crazy slide. Yeah. Because there was one big crazy slide

that had a direct drop down from the top. Right? And he was just like, oh, I guess. And it's like, and I'm filming it for content. So you got to go do it for your daughter. And so he was just like, all right. As the man who buys the Airbnb. you get to say that.

That's literally what I did. And I was just like, you're going to eat. So he then proceeded to eat a gigantic burger. Yes. Oh, wow. He proceeded to a gigantic burger and it was like, okay, Chris, where you go? And what they do on the slides in Wisconsin is because they have to be, I guess, legally capable, culpable, there's a scale that you have to step on that just goes red light green light about whether or not you can go through the slide. What is the weight?

So this slide. So this slide. So I tell you the weight that the red light comes on it? All of the rest of them didn't. But this one said $2.50. Okay. Right? Because the big boys were doing it, but I was seeing big boys not make it.

It was a giant loop, right? And we were seeing boys get halfway through and then sliding back. What happens? They got to blow on it real hard or something? They have to literally, there's a fatty, like, crevice, right? There's a club. There's a, it's like an emergency release. There is three release ports.

one is if you don't make it through the tube you slide into this other thing and then they have to open it up and then you can stand out of it there's also two in the loop itself in case you're so fat you move so fast but you then get stuck in the tube

which has happened according to the employees and then they get something like a hook like one of those animals that they the thing they used to move dogs around and they pull you out of a hatch oh yeah there he is leaving disgrace thumbs down thumbs down Thumbs down.

He waits online for a half an hour. His daughters just going like, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. And he gets to the top of this tower. And when he steps on the scale and it goes red, nothing has made me laugh harder. Oh, you love it. It added years of my life. I tell you what, man, this is going to be good for him because this really turned my life around because they wouldn't let me on the Harry Potter ride at Universal because I was too fat.

Yeah. And I was like, you know what? I'm going on this fucking ride. I lost 30 pounds. I rode that ride. It was great. I mean, Holden, then the first thing he came up to me this morning, because he knew we were going to be doing side stories, and he came up to me, and he's like, I was only four pounds too heavy. Yeah.

And I was like, but it's, those are crucial. Those are four crucial ass pounds. Yeah. And I guess what? Guess what I also don't want you doing it. I guess you're five pounds too heavy because 250, 251, 252, 252, 253, 254. Exactly. So you're five pounds too heavy.

But also, not to be an asshole. Why are we, if we're quibbling over pounds, like, if we're quibbling over, like, maybe I could look. Take my shirt off. Like, if we're quibbling in that area, maybe don't do it. Yeah. I would say you need a 10-pound grace area. Yeah. That's me.

That's me. But that's just one story. Then Natalie got brutally. Yeah, that's a top story on side stories today. That's my top story. Top story. Holden's too fat for his fly in Wisconsin. You know one of my favorite things.

The fattest state in America told Holden he's too fast. Slide stories. Pretty fucking great. Slide stories. He did a really good job. But I will say he did it for his daughter. And in the end... I mean, he didn't do it for his daughter.

Well, now maybe he'll do what he does need to do for his daughter. Stay alive. Yep. And take a look at his health. But at the same time, nothing made smoking look prettier than Wisconsin. Remember when Holden was the thinest person we knew? I always will want to hold that over him the rest of his life. All right.

So we do got some stories. And then, so thank you to everybody. And Ian, who served us at the Dells, who's a listener, he did incredible work. And I will say... What you do? He was a server. Oh, he just gives you Spotted Cow? He just brought me Spotted Cow, yeah. Which is, he just brings you Holden.

Yeah! Yeah, baby! Lumpy Cow! Yeah, Spotted Cow! New Glorious Beer, get some. I had so much... I was so proud of me and Holden because we killed a case of 24, just me and him over two days. That's great. Yeah, it's pretty great. I'm proud of you guys, too.

And then, you know what's great? More Spotted Cow you drink? Quired, or the family gets. They really do. They just go away. Yeah, yeah. Well, time, you know, they go to sleep. Also, in the Dell's, what I think it's really funny is that you could definitely see children having the best summer of their lives.

And you can also see the summer where the child can no longer be fun with the family anymore. Oh, yeah, no, no, where they need to go away. Yeah, well, it's because the father's become a nightmare. I've watched many fathers become nightmares. But that's a father's job. Father's job is either be a nightmare in order to inspire a child to be better or be non-existent. Yeah. I went to Cincinnati.

Thank you. Shout out to everyone in Cincinnati. Great time at my show. My show was great. Sold out. Reed Failer, Travis Irvine, all did great. Shout out to bombs away comedy. Go check out their shit. But I will say, shout out to everybody in Cincinnati for going and buying that goddamn ham salad.

Sold out again. He sold out the goddamn assail. Sold out the ham salad again over Bridgetown Meats. And these poor guys are all like, what's the formula? Yeah. Like, it's just sitting here Why is something, you know, for months the ham salad just congeals

and sits and gets solid. And then once every six months, shout out to all you people who listen to me and get that ham salad. Fuck chicken, fuck eggs, fuck turkey, ham. Ham salad. I'm proud of everybody

in Cincinnati. Porkopolis, they call it. I know. And it's not just because of the first lady. It is because they like their meat there. Oh, and we are aware that the Cleveland show was canceled. Yes, but it is because the venue shut down. It's got nothing to do with us.

No, but we are looking for, we are having, there is going to be a replacement show same weekend. And that is we're being finalized as we record. We're working on it. So hold on your tickets unless they refunded them. But just keep it here out. We are replacing the show, though. All right, let's get to some.

updates. The Burbank butt sniffer is back in the news. I mean it. We did that episode. Yeah. I want to say, I think it was the next day. Yeah. When the next day, you got arrested again. Very soon. Kalees, Karen Crowder

loves the smell of a butt so much that he cannot help himself to the point where brings him to the point of criminality. He has now been arrested at least twice for inappropriate behavior allegedly sniffing women's behinds. Yeah.

Different businesses in Burbank. I know the last time we saw it, it was at a bookstore, which we said that was specifically, technically savvy butt sniffing. Yes. Yeah, it's a good place to do it. That's a gets a place if you were a butt sniffer. Yeah.

And you were looking for the perfect place to do it. It's that. This one, though, this one, why is the, okay, he got arrested doing it under Walgreens. Oh, no. Why does that gross me out? And the bookstore doesn't gross me out as much. Well, that's because everyone's sick at Walgreens.

Do you think they had to change the name to Wal Browns? Come on. Not the only if he was smelling shit. Yeah, was he in the stomach, like, flu section? Oh, God, it just... I don't know. He got arrested again.

They don't know what to do. He's a registered sex offender. They now have taken his parole away. So he's no longer on parole, but I don't even know what that means. What do you mean? They took his parole away? Yes.

So he was rewarded? I think he was out on parole. No, he was out on parole. Oh. I think that now he's about to do some form of prison time. I mean, I don't know if it can be serious time. Because it's still like, it's what we were talking about

when this story originally came out. Well, now it's officially assault. Well, he still didn't touch anybody. Yeah, but he is out on this. Like, now it's like, you do sniff butts. We know you sniff butts. You can't sniff butts anymore. Remember we had the lawyer write in.

I'd say they could do like specific things for specific people. They're going to have to write that in for him because obviously he cannot. quit. He is too legit. He loves to smell that fucking butt. I think because he has done actual, like, things besides just nipping butts, yeah. Anything

that he does that is any somewhat similar, he can now be charged for even more of behavior. If there's even a strong breeze and there's a butt near you, you have to leave, sir. You can't collect the butt juices just like a Rottweiler driving down the street with his head out of the pick on. It's like, man,

just become a janitor. become a plumber Get in that You like shit You like Duky You get in there man You know how many time They say do what you love

And you never work a day in your life But then it turns out It's all work Yeah this is this free time You're right Don't let him monitor This is how he cuts loose Don't make him monetize another habit

Yeah All right this is his fun Let him have this But no he's not We're taking it from him No good It's probably good No one should do

Is take out his sniff glands Take away the whole sense He needs an iron mask Yeah On his nose Oh yeah Like a clothes pin with a fucking, like, Chastity Bell clothespin. Yeah, with a combination, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That only the sheriff knows. I was gotten trouble. I'm sorry. Can you just tell me. Can you tell me if this broccoli's bad? I can't tell. I can't tell anymore. I'm legally not a lot of stuff anymore.

There's that story, because then I got into this whole thing for some reason. Have you heard about virgin boy eggs? Oh, in China, where they cook. cook them and piss? What they do is they get the piss from virgin boys to go to elementary schools and they collect the piss. We talked about this on Roundtable back in the day. Yeah, but it's still a thing, very much

so in 2025, but just watched the whole special on like a couple minutes long story about a guy who's still selling steaming virgin boy eggs where they say that allows you to be, like you get some kind of constitutional thing from it. It's from Dongyang. You know what's even more

disgusting than this, Henry? Virgin man piss. Because those guys are fucking gross. Those guys Virgin man. Yeah, why is that work? Well, because they're gross people.

They can't get laid. But Virgin boy. They're just sitting on their balls all day, cooking them. You're like, they're eggs. Speaking of eggs. You know, that virgin man piss, they're all like 600 pounds.

You know, they got a bad person. Some of them are extremely skinny. Yeah. Oh, yeah, some virgin men. Yeah. Some of them are very, very, very skinny. Yeah.

But, yeah, there's some of them. It's the collecting of it. Yeah, you've ever heard of this? You never heard of this? It's the guy, you know who I don't want to meet? It's the guy that has to go around collecting it. Yeah. Let me say, hey, let me ask you, your boy there is attractive.

Is he had sex yet? Let me ask some of this. Is your boy had a quarter water yet this morning? Because I'm going to need that pee to be as clear as we can get it. Children who have been raised in the city are used in the practice and believe, and relieve themselves in basins that the vendor's place in the hallways. And then they cook, they cook it up. They just steam out the urine.

And I guess what really made me, I was watching it, and I think that really kind of made my stomach turn, was how brown the eggs are. And how much urine is. I imagine when you cook piss, it changes colors. I also weirdly. Like crabs, like crabs are usually blue, and then they turn red. Yeah, I actually kind of wondered in a way, yeah,

I don't like the color of them. And I just feel like, yeah, kids just need to be drinking more water in Dongyang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it looks like Mickey Rourke's morning. Yeah. is what that egg looks like It's great that the town's called Dong No it is not lost on me

Eddie It is not lost on me That sweet sweet cosmic joke It is out there And the smell of bubbling virgin boy pisses everywhere That's how you know You've reached the city limits of Dong game Oh my God

What if a kid was like actually I've had sex a lot Yeah I was molested just so you couldn't take my piss Wow Wow. We're all trying to stop the piss eggs first. And then we're going to stop the molestations.

First, the molestations stop the piss eggs, then the molestations can stop. So these virgin boy piss eggs, now these things, are they just saltier? Is that what it is? I don't know, Eddie. If the boy's diabetic, are they sweeter? I don't know, you know. I've never asked and I can't. I get a bunch of vitamin B, you know, is that?

No Chinese man will answer me. No Chinese man I can get a hold of will answer me. This guy's liking it. No, he's not. He's eating an egg and he looks confusing. He looks sad. You would have to literally put a gun in my mouth with the egg. He doesn't like it.

Yeah, obviously he doesn't fucking like it. It's an egg cooked it piss. It's not good. He got it to eat it for a YouTube video. Guess what, dude, you don't need to buy half a dozen. You can't just get one. Maybe the guy said like, Like, you buy one, you buy six.

Yeah, yeah. Get these off of my bowl, I guess. Live from your play. I also feel like now that we went into that disgusting territory for no reason, I don't know if I should go into all of the stories that we received. Well, I think with the but sniffer, it really does relate. Like, why is this guy so active? We got 49 emails from women telling us how big their shit's up.

Last week, before we did the episode. I asked for more stories after we covered the very cute woman that, like, absolutely made the plan. Every type of people are like, we hate it when you talk about shit. And then we get 49 emails. I didn't know what to say about this. That's like, these are my shit stories. So many stories of what we said were traditionally skinny women talking about their bowel movements. Yeah. And man, oh man, did Joel have to really deal with that?

I love it. Every chick's like, five, six, 120. Always given their measurements. I love it. They are. There's a lot of good ones here. This woman said she had dug a cat hole after hiking. She was several months hitting 20 miles a day. She ate a bunch of soupers, like kind of processed food. And then one time, they had to go to, she had to go to bathroom real bad.

When you're hiking, it's all nuts. Oh, God. It's all you're eating. And leaves. Yeah, there's all these bars and drinking stream water. There's something about the woods that makes me want to fucking dump. Everybody says this. I'll never go. I dug a cat hole, which was probably six.

six inches deep, 18 inches long. I squatted, I pooped. No joke. This shit made it from the back of the hole to the end of the hole. Continuing on for other several inches, probably a two foot long turn. That was from one young lady. That's cool. Good for her.

This woman talks about her own fart, made her shit. Well, I mean, that's natural. Everyone's farts make them shit. Not all the time. Sometimes my fart. Sometimes just a fart. But yeah, of course, not all the time. But you really got a and be delicate with it.

I remember one time it was all my friends were playing what was the game that everyone was paintball everyone loved playing paintball in the woods and they finally talked me

into playing paintball and I'm not a paintball guy you know and so I'm like I don't like running around it's in the middle of college and stuff so I'm like all right if I'm gonna run around

all day I guess I should take some vitamins so I ate a bunch of vitamins like an idiot and then I went out and played paintball with my friends and then all of a sudden you know the vitamins are like oh my body's like what are vitamins

and so I just like had to take the biggest shit of my life in the middle of the woods and I'm sitting there fucking shitting in the woods and everyone's shooting me with paintballs because I got shitty friends at the time never went back. Bad time.

Anyway, what were you saying? I hate the woods. I'm with you. I hate the woods. There are no restaurants there. So I'll never go. All right, let's get into some stories. Skinny Woman fat shit.

Yeah, we did enough. I weigh 120 pounds. Let's talk about my huge shit experience. I feel like we didn't get to any stories today. I was at an underground bar in Orlando. We've been doing like 40 minutes, right? Drinking long out and ice tea. I think we should, let's do some stories, and then we'll get back to the science.

So, first of all, I want to talk about some doctors having fun. Oh, doctors need to have a good time. They don't. It's got to be a depressing job. The problem is that every single time doctors have, I feel like when doctors do have a good time, it's like at the expense of the rest of humanity. Yes. Sometimes.

Oh, but Patch Adams. He was having a great time. Healed no one. it didn't it saved not a single life whatever happened to robin williams i don't know where are they now will robin williams break his silence on his own suicide that's my favorite everything's break silence these days

it's just his birthday yep we have to saw it was just his birthday sim aside leo makes sense wow he's been dead for 11 years yes time has flown that was almost his death day almost kind of bold yeah yeah All of it together. Yeah, he was a, I think he was a Gemini or something. You died in Paradise City, huh? No. Oh, Paradise K.

Yeah, okay, all right, all right. Now, this is not as fun. Doctors are, doctors out there, you know, they say, I don't like a funny doctor. I don't like a doctor having fun. And this is kind of the reason why it's one of these guys. This guy that got, we've been hit up about the story quite a bit. Okay. We first covered this a long time ago.

This is the one story I didn't read, so please. This is a, technically, this is an update, but it's, It seems that he's fine now. I believe they got him now. I think the main issue was on insurance fraud that they were looking one. This is a guy by the name of Neil Hopper, which is hilarious. He's from Truro Cornwall. This is in UKI.

He carried out hundreds of amputations as a doctor, literally the operations, until he wanted to get his own legs removed for sexual purposes in 2019. Now, this guy. I love him what you do. This guy said he had a sexual injury. interest in amputations. He said that what he did to himself, so now what we found out is that he lied

to insurance saying, you got to chop my legs off because I've got sepsis. Now we know. Yes. He's saying that he had had an injury to his legs and that he essentially thought he had sepsis and he had to get his legs taken off. And the way he did that

was that he used dry ice to freeze his own legs so that they had to be removed. Okay. So this guy's fucked up in his own way. And now we know that he cut his own legs off for his own sexual purposes. He said that he felt

that his feet were extra. Yeah. He said that his motivations were a combination of obsession. I mean, he looks so happy. Oh, yes. And he said that he had problems with his feet. That's what he said that he was caught with extreme pornography as well. That was

a part of this when he got arrested for the insurance fraud. Okay. He said that he got it paid for. That was the whole thing, is he got the procedure paid for. And they found him with this extreme amputee pornography, which I still don't quite understand what it is. Side Stories, L-P-O-T-L-T-L-G-Mail.com. Is it, you just jerk off to nothing? Well, this is my question. Is it the act of just sawing legs off? Is that what this guy likes? Or is this guy? Because... I think he likes nubs. The worst part about Hopper, first of all, because his name is hilarious. That's hilarious.

He's got no feet. His name should have been Bobber for what he does when you throw him in the fucking water. Crawler. Mr. Crawlers, right? He said that his feet were an unwelcome extra, a persisting, never-ending discomfort to him. And I'm just going to go ahead and say there, I know that

this is not about king shaming. This is about life in general. Feet super crucial. Yeah, if you have three feet, we can call that extra. Extra. And because you know what, all the guys I know, they either can't use their feet anymore or who had to lose their feet?

Yeah. Super missed their feet. My dad was so mad when he lost his feet. You know, exactly, because there was no chip on that. You can't go to Find My Feet.com. I don't think my dad looked at his nubs and jerked off once. This guy, every day Dr. Hopper gets up and looks at his nubs and goes, D.I. I'm hopper, get it? And I feel like I might be jealous of his, of this happiness.

And now he's getting sued across the board by every single one of his patients. being like, was my amputation necessary? That's the main thing now, too, is that they are coming for the hospital. Because he's horny for it. Yeah. And he showed up to work at his job. Like, this is a good thing about this is a question for all of us. You know, Eddie, I come to work.

Okay. You happen to find pornography on my laptop playing of naked men doing podcasts. Okay. Right? And that's like... That happens in the building. Yes. Okay.

You see this pornography. Now, is this a part of... Which room in the building is... And where we're working. Let's say it's where you and I are working. I've kept it away from the employees. Okay, yeah. We're in our writer's room.

Now, does it mean something that I'm here doing it? Now you know I'm horny at work. Yeah. Doing the job. Yes. Is it make it worse? Yeah, it makes it a little worse, I guess. Like, if a surgeon...

Like, I guess that's my... But obviously, I'm not... I'm a comedian, so it's different. I want you to be happy. You know, there is that. But if a guy that does amputation, a guy who does amputation as a surgeon, he's jerking off at amputation videos at work,

is that him getting revved up for work? Seems like he might know more about it than other people. Or is it my question. If you come, or is it like studying? Or is this another world? Can you jerk off to algebra? I don't know.

Is this another world where does he come and care less or does he come and care more? Like this is my problem too is that if he hasn't come yet is the act of the amputation so exciting that he's really dialed in. But if he's come already, is it like when you've masturbated and you haven't yet told your wife yet that you were not maybe have sex that evening because you've masturbated and then you're not as in maybe it's just like a harder process? You think he goes like, oh, I just came to all my, oh, I love my knee suckers four and five. Was he jerking off at work? If he wasn't jerking off at work, you know, it's like, does a porno... It's a doctor, though. It is a doctor.

I guess that's what's really holding me up here. I think that... Hello, oh, look at me half, lords. Look at, oh, don't they absolutely sexiest snobs you've ever seen? saying. Yeah. Oh, there's the sexiest snubs you've ever seen, doctor? I see, here's the thing. If he's horny for it,

he's going to do a better job. I don't know. Or is he distracted? If I show up for my amputation surgery and the doctor has two amputated legs, I probably like he knows what he's doing. I'm not only, the president,

I'm also a client. Yeah, exactly. But did he be super, but also it was weird to be super happy about it, though. It's the look on his face. I mean, that might be what people need. No. To see someone happy about not having legs, you're losing your legs, you're going to be very depressed. This guy's having a great time.

I want to see somebody happy. It's positivity. We're going in the brighter side territory. Yeah, I know what you're saying, but I don't want the brighter side to just be, I don't have legs anymore. Like, it should be, this is a person overcoming adversity, a great attitude, despite

if you're objectively happy about losing your Feet. That's not fucked up. Feet's just like the bottom of all of us. Yes. Our interaction with the world begins with our feet. Well, it's not everybody, but, you know, people who have feet.

Yeah, I'm just saying. And everybody that's born without feet are super like, God damn, I wish I had feet. And I know, I'm not saying. The Little Mermaids is a whole movie about it. It's a whole movie begging for feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I saw this idea that you would. be, I don't think, I guess I get it.

I guess it gets, it's fine if you're cool with it after, but this idea of you're just being like, Rockhart. Yes, sorry you see me out, look at that. Roth here, as you could see, I don't know, which, which to which knob are you referring? My sexual knob?

I just don't know, just like the idea of making them, the idea of, if it's just stomps, do you think stumps are sexy? Oh, this overview on Wikipedia kind of just explains it a little bit. Accrodomophiles may be attracted amputees because they like the way that they look or they may view the ampetees stump as a phallic object which can be used for sexual pleasure but anything can be that's a knee a normal knee yeah yeah yeah but they it's not as hot you can't really stick a knee in someone's yeah you can't I'm more turned on by a nub than a knee look at this hey Natalie come here you could definitely jerk someone off with the back of your knee that's weird it's certainly You know, I didn't say it wasn't weird.

I just said it could happen. I have no problems with any of this. I just think that the man is unreasonably happy. He is sad now that he did lie to insurance. Yes. Is that what the story is that he's like, he got in trouble for insurance fraud? That's the thing, is that he faked it by torturing his own legs.

He should have just paid for it. I think it's hard. Yeah. Can you do that? Can you be like, hey, I want my arms gone? I bet. Can you just show up to the doctor? You're like, yeah, a little off the sides.

Side stories. Hill POTL at g-mail.com. I bet you you could find a guy. Of course you could find a guy. You can find a guy for anything. We go down to Mexico way. Yeah. And we go down there and we find a guy.

I bet you we can, as long as you have... I'm sick of these feet. I want them gone. They're extra. I'm turned on by nubs. I got to have nubs. Get rid of my feet. Give me nubs.

Put my feet on my hand. It has to be legal. I guess. But I do think, I guess if it's consensual, it's consenting. You would just have to foot the bill. I just think that also... No, so intended. Removing...

Torso the bill. Thank you. You have to remove. I think it's very dangerous to remove. I think you just can't find a doctor who will do it because they'll basically get, they won't be a doctor anymore if they just cut your foot off. That's what they say. It's do no harm. But if the guy's like, put my feet are bullying me.

Why not? While not illegal for an individual to request, a surgeon will not perform the amputation of a healthy foot without a clear medical reason. But you can find a guy that would do it. You could find a guy that used to be a surgeon that was fired for. from being a surgeon. Technically. Yeah. Very much so.

And you can find somebody. And I bet you... If you know their first name. If you know... Yeah. Like, yeah. If you know Stephen and he used to be a surgeon

and then he got canceled on the internet and he can't be a surgeon anymore, he can do that and he will do it for 20 grand. Yeah. I bet you do it for less. But you want to make sure you live. That's the thing. It's got to look good.

If you're getting turned on by it, your nubs got to look sexy. Yeah. Choose too. Yeah, that's the thing. Fast good or cheap. Yep. So, yeah, I guess.

Good for him? He's a nub with himself. I just, he also apparently got some money from doing it. He apparently got a little bit of money. I just, she's just too. Oh, he got, oh, he got money from insurance. Oh, well, that's the thing. He's defrauding, you know.

Yeah, obviously insurance is tough enough. That's part of the plan. And the other one, this is another doctor story, Frederic Pesier. Okay. This is another one. It's like, doctors are just, like, fucked up. But I do, we have to trust them. I love

I know that on some level we have to figure out we have to trust doctors but they're also insane right so just remember they all got a god complex well it's like a therapist just like your physical therapist anybody that's in that has to be like

they're slightly insane but you kind of hope that their insanity will still help you my brother-in-law is a heart surgeon I asked him if you ever broke anyone's chestplate while he was giving them CPR and he's like only when I want them to live it's like you're saying yeah well All right, well, you don't have to put it that way.

You're the one who made it heavy. So, but this guy, Frederick Peshire, this is like a... You ever see the movie Flatliner? This guy looks like a doctor. He does look like that. He was like, I don't feel like he could have any other job with a face and beard like that. Well, he's about to be a prisoner. Oh, no.

So that's the next job he gets. He's accused of poisoning 30 children and adult patients. Really? To all of whom died. He worked as an anesthetist. This makes him a serial killer. Basically. He worked as an anesthetist.

anestestician, what we call it. So his job was, I believe that's the term, right? The guy that it's all the anesthesiologist. And so what he was doing is that he was poisoning them because he was trying to convince and show other people he could save people no matter what. So he was poisoning them, killing them on the table, and then bringing them back to life. Oh, with like an epi pen or something. No, like with the adrenaline shot. Something like that. Like with the Umah Thurman and Pulp Fiction. Oh, wow. Where they just do a...

And so he's of this. He's killed 12 people in the process of it. And he does it for the thrill of it. Why did you kill one? You got to be like, hey, bro. You're not good at this. But he was doing it to show. But he's like, oh, but I save 18 of them.

Yes. That's literally what he's doing it for. That's still failing, technically, if you want to go by school grades. It's just interesting because it's kind of like a guy that, like, test NASCAR. It's like a guy you test NASCAR. But you, but it's... What if you get to test a NASCAR?

car, and only the car dies. I mean, that sounds like fun. Exactly. That's what he was doing. It's in France. It's in France as well, too. Oh, you know. Oh, it's France.

Oh, okay. But France, they do have a socialist, uh, I believe they have like a socialist health care style, like, things so anybody can get their help. So this guy was, yeah, he was playing French games. But, you know, again, I know it's like fucked up that he killed people, but at least he wasn't collecting basins of virgin boy urine in order to boil a bunch of eggs in a public square.

legal and people like it. I don't know if they like it. I think they tolerate it. It seems like no one's stopping it. If I've been talking about it for 10 years, it seems like everyone's fine with it. It goes up and down. Those virgin boy eggs,

that stock is going up and down. You wait because it's going to be how we are as how we're going to be treating chicken pox in two years. Don't worry. But this guy, yeah, he looked like a very responsible doctor, but no, he's a full thrill seeker. He liked bringing people directly, directly

to the edge of death, and then kind of pushing him over to the side. Oh, man. He's big, too. He looks like the star of fatliners. Wow. Come on, people. That's actually what actually happened to Holden. He was fat lines

before going and down the slant. Got full 25 minutes making fun of my friend's weight. An entire hit show used to just attack one man that the family

that even the listeners even barely know or like he does technically work for you you could probably sue you if he wants to I could fire him yeah you could

no because he's too fat to go outside yeah yeah I can weigh him I can weigh him and then decide if he's too fat to work I could do that here

yeah yeah no there is a right to work state right so no no honestly I'm really I'm proud of him

I am proud of him. He's going to lose weight. He's going to look great. Yes, but he didn't kill people for thrills like this guy did. No, he certainly didn't. But this guy, yeah, he just was a, these doctors, do they scare me? And European doctors scare me. Yeah.

A European doctors scare me within any of the other doctors. Why? Because they get paid less? Yeah. You know what is about European doctors? They're always working on assassins for free. Every single time I see a movie. Yeah.

It's always a European doctor. he's always working on some criminal for free. Yeah. Well, that's because he comes here and he's like, oh, shit, I got to do medical school again. He was always putting on the Joker's face. He's always, like, reattaching somebody's hook hand. Cutting off someone's foot.

It's always that shit, dude. Mangala, European doctor. European is all hell. Yeah. He was born in Leaderhosen. You got some stories, Eddie? I do. I got a couple of water-based.

crimes that I they're not very that it's not interesting as much as I feel like they'd spark some debate so I wanted to talk about him good the first one I'm glad the guy got in trouble the second one I don't agree with and let's talk about it so the first ones a florida man was arrested after police say he intentionally set up sprinklers aimed at his disabled neighbors he drenched them twice a day for a year oh that's a long time for it to go unreported for some reason it wasn't unreported. They've been, uh, they filmed him. They had like sting operation him to like make sure it happens. The dad, basically, this guy lives in Ocala, Florida. Horrible place. Ocala, Florida needs to fucking go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It tried to be nice and everyone's

like, no, we can't be nice. It is just, if there's a place that makes winter park Florida look nice or any of the other sections between Tampa and Orlando look nice, Ocala is better than Lake City. Wow. I will say that. That's disgusting. Yeah, Ocala's better than Lake City. So, anyway, this guy lives in Ocala. His neighbors are disabled children and, you know, their parents. And the bus... Oh, they just don't group them up alone there.

They're not just in one... Honestly, it could happen. It's Ocala. There could definitely be a hype house filled with kids with cancer, making money for some energy drink company. I can absolutely see that. Being like, this gives me just enough zip to get back in. to chemo today.

Thanks. Thanks lightning bolt energy. So basically the bus would stop at the driveway in front of his house and not their house because there was just a better ramp for the kids to get on the bus in their wheelchair. And I get it. All the sounds of their wheels

creaking in the afternoon is keeping me from watching my pornography. So he hated the fact that they used his driveway. I get it, man. They just, all they do is hang out, flipping their crutches everywhere. yelling, you dropping their IV bags in your new car. I'm sick of having these disabled kids fucking

gunk up my hell of ramps. So he timed his sprinklers and aimed his sprinklers to go off when the kids went on the bus and got off the bus. Both two times a day, these kids, it got so bad that the father would wait

and go with the children in like a poncho in a bathing suit and walk them. This is the middle of winter. You know, like they would do the shit. And he would walk them the bus and get soaked and there was nothing they could do until they filmed it. There's no father of one of these disabled people went up to this man, dragged him

from his home and just started to be... He was hiding in the house doing it through his cell phone. Also, this guy looks shitty and he looks like a drunk and all this stuff, but he looks tough. He looks like he can throw it out. Hey, if he was tough, he'd be throwing water balloons at those kids in wheelchairs.

It's a good point. So, but anyway, this guy got caught and it is assault. He got charged with with two assaults and... Why am I getting the rest of what I do? Wait, this is a problem for me? Oh, I just irrigated the children. Four counts of stocking.

I just make the grain, make it a chair. I thought that they were called vegetables for a reason. Everybody, why you mad at me? So it was chosen four counts of stalking, two counts of battery on a disabled person and two counts of battery. He's in a lot of trouble in Marion. County, Florida, and you know what, fuck this guy, I'm glad he's in trouble. Second story. Oh, yeah, dude, no, this guy's a piece of

shit, but I also just don't understand why nobody, why was there, no, there was a thing that called for village justice. Yes. This is how, this is where Florida, especially, they didn't call on the cops are useless. Yeah, the cops are just as bad as criminals as anybody else. This went on. Yes, this is

the Florida, in Florida, and I'm sorry to say this. They let disabled children get sprayed twice a day for a year. You're Literally, one stepped in. My father, before he died, was viciously attacked by a dog. The guy that owned the Ocala. Literally, just north of Ocala, the cops could not give a fuck.

What taught me is that if you're in Florida, you've got to handle some of these things on your own. Yes. Yeah. That guy needs to get group beat. I mean, he will, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. In prison, he'll get group beat. Live from Northland.

All right. Raymond Cruz. You know who this guy is? Did you watch Breaking Bad? No. breaking bad's great I made it through the first two seasons it's good Tuko the guy he was like a crazy gangster

He's in the first two seasons All right this guy he recognizes him He's in a bunch of other movies training day I feel like the cops only arrested him Because he's played so many villains Yeah so he's washing his car In his front yard and Silver Lake out here in L.A And this chick is like bothering him

This girl and he's just bothering me He's like get out of here Are we gonna get in trouble for being on his side I don't care I mean he's in trouble I mean either way he's in trouble Yeah yeah If I don't have an opinion, then why I have a podcast?

Exactly. So this guy, Tuko, this girl's like, by his, he's trying to wash his car in his front yard. She keeps bothering him. He's like, hey, get away from my car. She's like, no, I'm not going anywhere. And he's like, get away from my car. And then she's like, no, I'm not going anywhere. So he sprays her with the fucking hose.

She tells the cops they arrest his ass. For hitting her with the hose. Hitting her with the hose. I do understand. Also, it's the middle of summer. This is my question, is that obviously, I mean, in all technicality, that is assault. Is it?

Yes. On the very, very base of assault, I believe... I guess if you, like, flip someone's hat off, I've heard that's assault, too. If you throw a cup of water on them, it's assault. It is any unwanted physical interaction. Yeah. Any unwanted physical interaction, which is sort of like why the butt sniffer was kind of... They didn't...

But was she harassing him? That's... Well, you can harass somebody as much as you want. You can yell. let somebody as much as you want. You can threaten to kill them up to the point of purchasing the gun, showing them the gun that you're going to kill them, telling them the day and date you're going to kill them. Yeah. And if that day and date go by, you are innocent of anything. Okay. I have a little bit of backstory. There was a woman, three women in a van, and they were parked

close to his car. Yeah. He asked them to move. They didn't move. That's the story. And then he sprayed him with a hose. That's it. Okay. How many times did he have? ask. That's the real question. You ask, I'd say, if you ask three times, they don't move, and you're trying to wash your car? Spray him. I mean, it's one of those where you just see another role taken by Michael

Pena. You freak out, right? You're just sitting there being like, well, he's a scientist. Michael Pena? Yeah. Yeah, you know that? No. Yeah, Michael Pena's a Scientologist. That's why he gets all the roles. Whoa. I know. I know. It's very sad. No way.

Yeah, he's not a Scientologist. This man. It's Catholic as hell. No, hell yeah, you know. Very much so. That man has so many crucifixes. It looks like he is practicing to kill a Messiah. You know, what do you have? He has so many crucifixes. I think this guy just wants to crucify someone.

He was trying to wash his car. Yeah. And they were in the way. Yeah. I could see, if you got to the point... How much time do you got? I mean, it depends on, obviously, was it just a Sprit or was it a... Fuck you, bitches.

Fuck you, bitches. Fuck you, bitches. I imagine he was just spraying it on them as they got soaked and laughing. That's how I hope it went down. Well, that's what I love, that's what I wish to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the difference between, but I guess that that's what it is. Is it that, or is it like, I'm a soaking wet, you make you soak and wet, you fucking

driving parking ass bitches? Is it that? Or is it them going like, fuck you, Michael Pany's 10 times the action you are? And they're like, if they're doing that at him, they could. And then he stints her with the host, that guy could be that, or is it a single spray? Did he sprayer once? And they flipped out and said, Oh, brown man put what on me?

Did they do that? Or did they do the thing? Or, you know, this is the problem. Eddie is that there's a lot of details here that we need before we decide who's the good and the bad guy here. But any form- I'm looking at the comments on TMZ. Everyone's on this guy's side.

Of course, because it's a frivolous thing to do. Cops, obviously, were trying to. I'm going to say this as nice as possible. I can see a world where the cop was trying to maybe make the lady. stop yelling. Yep. And then arrested him saying she wants to press charges.

She's decided to press charges. Well, the cop has to do it. I mean, according to the law, he touches you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he touches you, but she can not press charges. Of course. She could just be a normal person and be wet. No, because she... In the middle of August.

She is a Michael Pena head. She's a Pena head. She's a Pena stand and she doesn't like the fact that he's there. And she's racist for that. When he turned around to tell them stop filming him, he was still hosing his car, and some of the water from his hose hit the front of his

car and spilled on their car. That's it? It got on their car? Well, that was the thing, is that they were saying... It didn't even... If it didn't even hit them, then what's the charge? That's what his agent's saying? This is a... That's a good agent. Yeah, it's a good agent. He's coming right there. And I'll tell you it was got another thing. Hey, just touched the car.

I think of nothing. Michael Panneus, a connected in Titanologist. And he is... He's got slaves in his house, and we need to start thinking about how many more... How many one more rules? This one made me. No, I think that he, I could see, this is a suburban war. This is a suburban war here happening that normally is handled amongst the citizens of the street.

And normally the way it's handled is like, hey, fuck you, hey, fuck you. Yeah. And then it's over. Michael Pena joined Scientology to stop drinking. Yeah, well, fucking good. No, people, you get, well, that's how they get a lot of people because their, their, both their rehab programs are stellar. And also, I got to say, if he joined all the way back in 2000, it really did a lot for him. They did, Norkanon and Al-Anon.

I mean, he's got a great career. Narcanon does extremely good work. That cop movie is great. Ethan Supley. When's the last time you saw that movie? I was a great movie. End-to-watch? Oh, God, I love that movie.

Michael Payne is a great actor. Yeah. but he is he really is Ethan Supley was the same yeah Ethan Supley they got it because they helped him

kick heroin yeah well he's so big well different big but he they helped him he basically then felt he

he never said these words but he definitely said that he definitely you could feel that he owes his life well he'd be dead yeah

well so Scientology is not bad oh isolate it they'll love that they will they will we were going to talk about that I feel like we've done enough here

the corn concert guy everybody covered it before we got it was we were off a week now I gotta say the corn thing it wasn't just moved down also playing

yeah he didn't like him as much or if they went first he got so jazzed that he had to do it fucking come yeah gotta come And he had to come for corn because he was so hard from system of a doubt. I just think that guy was, I guess, feeling it?

Yeah. We couldn't be. It was like early in the set, too. Yeah. Twist? Must be listening to Twist. Ding-dong. Oh, I hope he wasn't listening to Daddy.

Oh, yeah. It's one of the sad ones. Yeah. Oh, fuck. My dad killed himself to the song. I can jerk off. And then also watch out for the Papa John's Dustinator. Some of the dust is currently causing unfixable rations.

You're going to look at that. So then we're going to get to some listener letters. Did we talk about the lady family annihilator? No, I'll save it for next week because Moore is going to come out. I am that we did have, there is, it is kind of funny, a doctor by the name of Emily Long, did kill her husband to two of three children and then killed herself. It is funny. I'm going to cover this next week more so.

Why is it funny? It's funny because of the other doctor girls on Instagram and TikTok that do doctor social media, like content. There's like three Emily Long's. And you've had several. When I was looking up because Emily Long, the woman that killed her family and killed herself, posted all of these TikToks. basically talking about how brave she is as a mother, help being a business owner, working for a business

and helping her husband who had brain cancer. Turns out she embezzled $660,000 from a chicken wing company. That's a lot of restaurants. Dude, that's not a lot of, I feel like, she embezzled. That's over a period of two years. But still like, that's a lot.

That's a lot. She embezzled $660,000. Also, whoever's doing those books should be fired. How do you not notice at a chicken wing store? That's $660,000. went missing. You hired me to make it a wing. Now I'm here adorable. I gotta stop. I need to be making wings. But she basically, she made all this TikTok content right before she killed her

family about how began bragging about how what a great mom she was. And then the problem is that all these other TikTok doctor moms that were also named Emily Long had to come out and say, tough day to be named Emily Long. Yes. And so because everyone was looking for the videos where she She very casually talks about how she's turning a new leaf, and then she killed the whole family. But again, the reason why we even cover those stories is that it's just nice to see a woman do it. Yeah, absolutely. You never get that.

You know, a woman embezzling money, woman in charge, breadwinner. Yeah. Deciding to get the family couldn't handle the embarrassment of her shame. That's huge. That means women are finally starting to show themselves. Yeah, starting to feel themselves. Yeah, starting to be killers. And if you're one of those Emily Long influencers, just change your name to Emily Wrong.

Everyone will know who you are. Emily Schlong. There we go. Well, there's two of them, right? So we need two names. Emily Schlong, what's nice about that? People show up thinking it's like sexual content. Maybe you wear a low-cut shirt.

Yeah. Hook them. Start talking about getting your balls checked for cancer. Start talking about all that kind of stuff. You're a dick doctor. Boom done. Dick doctor. Yeah.

It's right in itself. Mm-hmm. You knew Dr. Ruth. Dr. died of a fucking her pussy ate her head. Do you know that? Is that what happened? Yeah, Dr. Ruth's own pussy jumped off and ate her head. I mean,

that was a fucking, we all know that was a snapping. The pussy's actually, it's right now on its way to Mexico. Tantata. The cause of her, Dr. Ruth Westheimer died in July 12th, 2024 at the age of 96. The cause of her death was not publicly disclosed. Yeah, it's because it was

that intense. She took on a biker bar. Yep. She actually got her lip stuck in a glory hole, and she died of, she died of his fixation. She was fucked to death in a Bucky's bathroom. She was at an all-you-can-eat-oister's restaurant, and she died from eating a bunch of shells. Didn't understand what the shuck was going on. All right, let's just... Do you want to do more lady poop stories?

No. Listener emails. I have worse. These are our listening emails this week. People have eaten dogs and guinea pigs. Oh, yeah. This is a new one. New song.

Side stories. Wow. It's very young blood. Don't do this. Let me get a different one. Let me get a different one. No, you know what that one was? It felt very like, like, 1970s.

I've been watching a lot. A lot of criterion. I didn't dislike it, but yeah. Okay. It was good. You used to triangle. Fuck, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Gonna skip yourself down and enjoy some. Listen, Rehman. That makes me want to jerk off to some nubs. Yeah, dude. Nub it out, dude. Some of my favorite shit, dude. I love a guy. Love your nubs, dude.

I'm just starting more than that. Actually, where'd you get that done? Hey, what'd you get your work done? Where'd you get your nubs done? Wouldn't it be amazing if instead of him just taking off his... Havis, civic. Lucky, huh? Got it covered?

I also love the idea. On my head, I was like, just take out the shins, put feet on the nubs. Now, your Dorf. Oh, that's not bad. How fucking cool is that? Be Dorf. That's cool. There we go.

Thorfant amputation. I'm telling you this story right now, this listener email story, just because I think it's really funny. Okay. So you see, no, that people were talking about this. So breeding dogs for meat in Korea was a common practice for a long time. It was now considered quite controversial for a long time. Now it has just been made illegal. Yes, I do know that.

Yes. I discussed that story on Brighter's Head. This comes from back in the day. Breeding dogs for meat. All right. So I was in a Korean Christian show choir when I was a kid. We were based in L.A. the group was very popular in Korea

in the gospel world we would go on to a Korean tour every summer where we would travel all around the country performing at churches and schools we would eat as a large group in traditional restaurants that the adults would order for all of us kids hmm okay

while on tour we stopped to eat in a more remote part of the country in the mountains and we were told we were going to eat oxbone soup a very common Korean dish we all sat in the ground at low tables and ate happily I honestly didn't notice anything about the meat at all for a 12 year old

me, it seemed exactly like stewed beef. Okay. Once we were all finished, the director of the group had our attention. She asked, did you all like the food? And we all happily replied, yeah! And then with the biggest shit-hitting grin on her face, she goes, well, surprise,

you all just ate dog. Oh, my God. Cue a room of 60 kids. A fighter. Oh, my God. They said the kids between 8 and 16 started screaming. The mental breakdown. They're Americans. Whaling, gagging, making themselves throw up. I just sat there with my two sisters shocked and pissed

but we already hated the director so we just looked at each other with a shared look of understanding the director truly was a terrible person she had to apologize to all of us but ultimately we just moved on and kept performing child labor as musiciansaries for Jesus. Yeah man

that shit is fucking real wow that that Jesus choir shit that they really do make a lot of money off those kids maybe the dog's name was ox you ever think about that That's really fucking sad This next one is actually kind of vile So I'm just going to do

But I do think it's interesting I lived in the South Korea Teaching English to Kids From 2011 to 2013 Okay I love to experience culture through food And thought it would be interesting To try dog soup

All right Bolson Tang The main way the meat is prepared Even at the time It was really kind of fallen out of favor And all of my students were horrified When I told them I wanted to try it A friend and I found a place that sold it.

It was hard to do. The soup was nice. Lots of boiled vegetables and a good broth. The dog meat itself tasted a little bit like lamb. Seal food. Sure. Cute. Thank you.

That was actually the very first restaurant that Natalie and I went on a date to in Toronto. It was called soul food. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, nice. Cooked by an American. Of course. Afterwards, there came a bad part, right?

So they said they tasted like lamb, which kind of disgusts me. but true Korean bark big cue it's cute then came the bad part is that they left all the fat on the meat and the fat tasted exactly like a wet dog smells

it completely overpowered my senses and left absolutely no mental removed from the bowl in front of me in beloved memories with my childhood dog I want to puke I didn't finish yeah he made it real sick yeah she was pretty upset

yeah North Korea apparently though, they just opened a brand new, nationally recognized dog meat restaurant in Pyongyang. Well, I mean, North Korea, they don't have any food they might as well. And in North Korea, dog meat is, like,

they have their version of Top Chef, which is hilarious. Yeah. Because everybody starved there, and one of the main ingredients they often use is dog meat. Dog chef. Hmm. Yeah. Cute. It is cute if you could. Oh, the dog meat looks...

It looks disgusting. No, no, no, no. I can't look at that anymore. That's disgusting. I didn't know it looked like that. What part of the dog is that? I don't know. I think that is the snoot. Why is there veins? I think that's the boop. Oh my God. I think you're right right there. That's the suit and boop.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Be careful with that. Some good old-fashioned. I love seeing little tits on it. Yeah. Nothing better than like seeing little nipples on my meat. Man. Well, what a great story. I'm glad I did this.

Thank you. Next week we'll have better ones, Eddie. You know why? Because we're back. I don't like the color of those ribs either. Yeah, it's bad. It's the color of the meat that I don't really enjoy. You know what? If it was good, I'd argue for it. Of course. You know, but it's just clearly bad. Well, it's just not

to our tastes. That is for certain. Nah, man. That looks gross. It's gray and beige. Those are not colors meat should be. I like eating egg salad with noodles. Egg salad with noodles? I'm like, I like to make like, what we used to know, and during Lent. We used to make tuna and egg. Don't

complain to me. I don't know how I can't lose weight. I don't know what's going to. But no, you eat a can of tuna. No, no, no. Let me add a bunch of carbs. I don't do this anymore. This is as much. This is what my parents used to do. We used to do like, oh, macaroni. It was called tuna and egg. Okay, but we used to make tuna and egg, which my mom used to make tuna and egg. It was for lent. And then we eat pasta with it. Okay. We need buttered noodles with it. Man, actually, Jackie's, like, tuna macaroni salad is that? That's what my mom makes. That's what we make. Is there eggs in that? Yeah. Oh, it's delicious. I like

I take everything back. I'm sorry. Well, Jackie doesn't like eggs. I like eggs. I'll eat eggs. Fucking, I'll eat the eggs right out of a chicken's asshole. You can make it with virgin boy, yeah. Oh, good.

And there's nothing virginal but an egg covered of mayonnaise. I'll tell you what, because an egg covered in mayonnaise, that egg fucks. That's right. Because, you know, I live every day wondering when I'm going to eat egg salad next. And guess what? I love the fact that it's going to be tomorrow. A non-vurgeon egg is a chicken. That is, yes, it is an adult.

And that's why I laugh my way to the store when they say, you're sure you want that much mayonnaise? And I say, absolutely, because I've had egg salad almost every day this week. But I just have a little bit at a time. That's what keeps me healthy, youthful, and glowing. Is it because you look like egg salad a little bit? Slowly but surely, the oils are making my hair wet at all times. Oh, man.

Well, check us out. the road. Henry and I and Marcus will be in St. Paul next weekend. We got 100 tickets left. Yeah, come see this. Sounds like a lot, but it's really not. So come see the show. It's going to go fast. It's going to be amazing. Kansas City, the next night's side stories sold out. There you, baby. And then

October 24th, come see us in Redway, California. Side Stories. This is our favorite show of the year. Come out, man. We have so much fun. If you're anywhere in the California area, in the Northern California area, come to the show. We have so much with so much fun the last time. People came from Tahoe and Reno last time.

And this time we're going to plan more. We've got a bunch of stuff to do. I'm really excited. It's going to be a blast. I can't wait to do it. Make sure you come out to the show. We're doing it with Billy Wayne Davis. It's over at the Mateel Community Summer on October 24th.

Also, Henry and I, we just looks like we got a couple more shows. We're going to add before to the end of 2025. And we're going to announce it in a week or so. Yes, we are. We have a lot of fun shows hanging out. I'm very, very excessive. And yes, we will guess. Let's give a shout out to the Bleach Cafe.

Oh, okay. Who are they? They gave Rob a show. shirt. Oh, all right. Well, yeah. Then I like that. And they're good. No, the shirt that he's actually really good. That's a really cool shirt. That's a really good shirt. Also, check out the new slash

videos back. Oh, yeah. Slashback videos. It's on Melrose now. Go check it out. It's very cool. Go check it out. I love that place. It's so much fun. Good people over there, too. Yeah, they are. Yeah. Kiko's wonderful. All right, guys.

Well, we will talk to you next week. And I hope you enjoy Aaron Hernandez. It's football season. Oh, you're going to like it. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Because he's going to get you out there. Hail sweet Satan, everyone. And hail, virgin boy piss.

Please. Someone's got to.