Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Some Stories

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news - starting off with a slew of updates and THEN, the Penn State Professor accused of public sex with dog faces new charges, Guinness dethrones record holding "oldest dog" for lack of documents, Florida man chops off paraplegic friend's feet with hatchet, Hundreds gather at candlelight vigil to pay respect to closing of last Hooters in West Virginia, NoroVirus causing mass diarrhea in the Northeast, Listener Stories, and MORE!

Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the Brighter side here to check in with you, see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Brighter side podcast is for you! Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dukie, stupid, dumb, stinky, no good, doodoo factory, boo, caca-like topics, and try to find the Brighter Side.

Hey, Amber, what's the Brighter Side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free healthcare. That's right! So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. On the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started side stories. Yeah Hmm, okay. No Come come come come come come come come come come come. Oh We're rolling. Oh, we're ready. Are we rolling? Oh? Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Are we rolling? Oh, we ready, are we rolling?

Oh, I've heard that that means that the show has to begin. Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'. I used to do it all the time, and then everyone made me stop. Rollin', rollin', rollin'. Yeah, I know, isn't it satisfying? It is satisfying, but I do agree with them, we shouldn't do it.

You did it. I know, but I know I'm wrong. No, but at the same time- Sometimes it feels good to be wrong. Hey, that's my whole life. I'm a sickness. All right, I wanted to'm wrong. No, but you sometimes it feels good to be wrong. Hey, that's my whole life All right, I wanted to posit you a thought Problem, okay. Okay. Now. I've not looked this up on the internet. So before you immediately go to correct me

Okay, I do not know if there's specifically Anything attached to this but it's this is just about our own brains and it is very interesting The different answers I have gotten. Okay. Okay. Is this so we're in philosophy class for a little very much so okay now In your mind my mind if you were to assign a number to the words few several or to the words, few, several, or... Couple? ...few or several, a couple, right?

We know a couple is two. Couple's definitely two. Couple is two. You were to sign a number. When someone says a few, what number does that come up for you? Three to five. Exactly. Now, we've talked about this.

We got into a screaming argument with family. Who? My family. My family. We started talking about this because Jackie and I- And several is seven and up. Seven at 14. I believe several is five and up. But Marcus says several is five is five. Yeah. And that's several's past five. I think several starts at five and both Jackie and I both said and the reason why is Five golden rings. Okay, so did Natalie because it seems like the way there's a natural demarcation I believe that few is three or four three or four. Yes, and it's about severity So what's six half a dozen? I would say six is a half a dozen. I would also get it towards many, right? Okay, man, and ten is many. Yeah, but what was it dozen 13th of Baker dozen?

Who was it more than a count? Can you count with your eyes? Can I count? I mean, oh, can you many of that's a lot? See we are talking about this and then Marcos then brought up in the middle of the night We had talked about it for hours and then he sent me a text in the middle of the night and just it just said five is some. Oh some. Welcome to Side Stories with Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson. I think 50 or more is a shit ton. I think that yes, uh legally. Yeah. But we got into a really long, like almost close to serious fight. Marcus likes words too much. He'd honestly, he likes words more than his family and his friends and his bonds. Because I don't know if there is like an actual number attached to it.

I'm certain that there's somebody on Reddit right now. It was like, but I know in my mind, I view it as as like because it's also to me. It's like we were joking about like You'd say my wife had sex with several men. Okay, right, but it'd be weird be like oh, I've had sex with a few guys Yeah, you know like few sounds like it's well unless you met young What you know if you met young she might have only had sex with a couple, with a few guys. But I'm saying if it's casual, you're talking about before, I'm just saying like, ran train upon. Oh, yeah. You don't want to do more than a few.

I feel like if it's more than a few, according to the dictionary, several means more than two, but not many. What does that mean? That means nothing. No, the word seven is there. I know that this is, I know that it is vague on purpose, but I am attaching a number to it because I want to yeah because because order must exist Mm-hmm, because if not it's all chaos. I could see where you're coming from on this. Thank you. Yeah, but um I'm not unreasonable and that's one more in the column and I want everyone to remember that you see there right there

I just got labeled reasonable. I know but I'm thinking about taking it away after your reaction. Unallowed. Unallowed. I take it away. Ah, fuck. I am reasonable. And you know you're reasonable when you are yelling it. I got a couple updates.

I want to get some emails on the side stories LPOTLGML.com. You know few is three or four. I'm looking at your shirt on the side stories LPOTLGML.com. You know few is three or four. I'm looking at your shirt of UFO types, and I don't see any jellyfish on there. No, because it's not real. It's an old shirt. It doesn't exist.

It's an old shirt. The jellyfish don't, they aren't a real thing. This is before the jellyfish designed the game's red. So you're saying that they made this shirt before the alien thought of jellyfish UFOs. They made the shirt before the whistle. How long? Where'd you get the shirt?

Where's my pamphlets? Where's my fucking pamphlets? This is because, no, it is just not here. It is stuck. Ed Larson doesn't understand. Combat, Henry. Don't tell me to come. Why?

Why? Are you upset? Are you upset with your feelings? I don't understand that knowledge gets updated from time to time. Fuck your feelings! And he also doesn't understand how brave the whistleblowers are within the UFO community. One more thing I have to go through. Yeah, because there's almost like no one looking for them. You don't know, there's actually too many people looking for them. Yeah.

Like me. Jellyfishers. It's a new idea. It's fine. I'm calm. Jellyfish is the new addition. We'll get, we'll get, we'll find out. Remember the, the, you remember the band new addition? The band new addition? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know them. My prerogative. Yeah. You don't know them personally. It's Bobby Brown. Yo, Bobby edition? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know my prerogative. Yeah. You don't know them person. I don't know. Yeah. Bobby Brown. Yeah. He loved prison. God, he loved prison. Now, I talked to a guy who shared a cell with him once and he said he was very nice. He used to get arrested in Florida a lot. Good to know. Yeah. You know, I've always heard Bobby Brown's really nice. Now let's get into some, that's your prerogative.

It is my prerogative. Now let's get into a couple of updates. Number one, I have gotten, wow, the emails I did receive, uh, by the scare mongering from Ed Larson last week, which is, what did I do? It is not your fault. I understand you were just trying to educate our people by talking about the connections between nose picking and Alzheimer's

because they say 91% of humankind picks their nose and we know for a fact that that means the other 9% Relying you know they got no fingers or no nose Yeah, but even then you could pick the hole in your skull You could pick the hole in your skull nose picking it says here here now the idea that nose picking equals a screw driver to your stomach. I can't. Honestly, this is a marathon. Dream big. You know, get new hands, build yourself hands, pick yourself up by your wrist straps. They say here that the idea that nose picking equals increased Alzheimer's, it is based on a misunderstanding. Okay. It's a study of mice from nearly 20 years ago in which I guess it's this bacteria, it's a specific bacteria that can get in your nose called chlamydia pneumoniae.

And what they did though, because scientists are fun, they took that bacteria and just juiced it up the nose of a bunch of mice, right? They didn't get to pick their nose. We get to pick the mice. Mice can't pick their nose. Now, which that caused them to have an increased amount of harmful proteins that have been associated with Alzheimer's. How can you even tell if a mice is Alzheimer's? I think if it's- Does it like, what is cheese? I guess, yeah, it doesn't want its cheese. It gets its eating hamburgers. I don't, honestly, I have no idea what mice, I don't know how's cheese. It gets it's eating hamburgers. I don't honestly, I have no idea what mice,

I don't know how you tell. I think they get lost in a maze. Legitimately, I think we get lost in the maze. Okay. But apparently if you have Chlamydia, pneumonia, which I don't know if it's the same as straight up, straight up, old fashioned fun, the clap. Yeah.

Or is that gonorrhea? I think we used to call the clap. Chlamydia pneumonia, you can have an increased chance for Alzheimer's. And picking your nose, it can introduce more bacteria into a hole inside of your system. It can do this. But the connection of nose picking to Alzheimer's,

it is being currently exaggerated. Because we don't quite know what creates Alzheimer's We don't really know what it is. We know that you can clean out your brain holes But we are we aren't there in a way to do that in a I think a sustainable way I am I heard that your grandmother at the clap so bad that I call it an applause That's unfair That's unfair, my grandmother is dead. Excuse the bitch. She's a dead bitch.

And you get, I don't know, I mean honestly, I don't think she might out of ever sucked a dick. Yeah. I think she might have had sex three times. You think so? Yeah. That little? My grandfather was second family.

Oh, okay. He was having a great time outside. So he had a standing ovation. Yes, he did. But he, my grandfather liked us. So we were the chosen children. But I think he was banging out somebody else much better in Vegas. Okay. God bless him. Now this, this is another update. I got a lot of really energetic responses to my coverage of Rachel Dola's all name change and career loss. Are people upset about it?

You know, I think one thing that I sort of skipped, which I went a little deeper into Rachel Dola's all because I know that she also faked hate crimes. That's a part of why people truly hate her. I didn't realize that. She had faked a hate crime against her, which is the putzer in the category of the juicy Smoletz, which makes nobody happy.

So she did fake a bunch of hate crimes. She's not a good person necessarily, puts her in the category of the juicy Smoletz, which makes nobody happy. So she did fake a bunch of A-crab. She's not a good person necessarily, but she is an incredibly beautiful black queen. She has changed her name to Enquembe de Aloyó, but we now know that her cover has been blown. But I got a bunch of emails, people talking about her, this woman.

So she's trying to get her only fans cook and she changed it all back to Rachel Dola's all. She is a troubled person. I also got some pushback about the idea, but the documentary about her life, there might have been some obviously some documentary, documentary, you know, agenda is there. Of course. But yes. Of course. That's why you make a documentary because you got something to say and you put your hat in a ring. But that's not really so I use the term trans racial and I ask the audience, like what is that real? And obviously most people said no, but there is an entire world of this.

There is this called race, the race change community. It's RTC. A the acronym stands for changing a race to another. That's not how acronyms work, right? I don't know, it is like, it is an Asian thing, RTCA. This is a common, this is a common strain, now on TikTok. They are people who obsess or fetishize Asian cultures. They then go and they, there,

and it seems a lot of the participants are white, uh, and they want to be Asian. So they will do sorts of plastic surgery. Um, they do makeup tutorials and stuff online. And they're, what they'll do is they go up to somebody and start studying in school. I forgot. If only some of these pro things were better. There's a good thing here that is, I want the, there's a term that they use where what they do is it's called a face claim. And what they'll do is pick an Asian person that they like the look of on the internet. And then what they try to do is because they're obviously

it's TikTok and they want consent. So they'll send you an email. This is just some random white person. They'll be like, OMG, your face is absolutely derbs. Ooh, I want to make your face my face. And so it says like, you can request a face claim and they can say yes or no.

And then what they'll do is, which is like, I don't think a lot of people are saying yes, unless you pay him money. But then the idea is that you can base your new fake Asian face on their real Asian face. Wow. Yeah, it's a lot of work. They should do that. Z should do that. Who? The emperor over there, you know, that way, if people start, if they want to assassinate him, they kill the wrong person. Well, that's why I mean, remember when Saddam Hussein, you said they have all his doubles.

Yeah, because he looked like a lot of, a lot of people looked like Saddam Hussein. He did, but he had a lot of doubles. It was kind of fun that he shoot a double. That's got to also be fun to be dressing up as a dictator double for the day, you know? But they're obviously very dangerous because people try to kill you.

This also brought up the concept of the old actor, Iron Eyes Cody. Do you remember that? No, what was it? Do you remember the commercial from when we were, it's even performed when we were kids, where he, it was a Native American, and you watch him cry because we were polluting?

He's Sicilian. But he lived his life, yeah. He does, that's what you say it? He looks very Sicilian. He went by the name Iron Eyes Cody. He was born Espetta Ascar de Corti. From Sicily, he did a lot of Native American chants for various albums.

He was an actor. Yes, he was in the Keep America Beautiful Public Service campaign. He was the crying Indian. And yeah, he is very, very Sicilian. But he took his role as Iron Eyes Cody all the way into himself. So he would tell people straight up

that he was Native American. He claimed several different tribes. He married a Native American woman, nice. He got in there and he tried it. You know, like he was like- It was like Bob Hope's movie, Pale Face. Oh yeah, they don't say that anymore. I mean, like it's a whole movie called that.

Although the non-native Republic who knew him from the movies and television thought of Cody as a Native American, they basically, they didn't know till 1996, the times of Piccadunni, New Orleans. They basically showed that he was Italian. Yeah, he said his father was Cherokee and his mother was Crete.

They always say that, and they're notokee and his mother was Cree. They always say that and they're not but he But he was a successful actor and sometimes all about how you act You know because it showed he fooled Bob Hope. Yeah, if anybody can fool Bob Hope I know it's every other person. He showed the white people had a gross spaghetti Put some Alina on the ground. This is a, it was, again, that's an old joke. But yeah, this is, so you can't, but there's a lot of pushback. It seems that people are saying, and if I'm hearing them correctly, they don't want you just changing your race.

And people get mad about it. What if you changed it to white? I haven't seen it. Haven't seen it with Michael Jackson. Well, unique case. And I feel that Michael Jackson, he also had, was it vertigo? He had the skin disorder. I mean, who knows what he really had.

I think that he had cuckoo bananas ding dong sucky sucky kids dick Which I really hope there was more research going towards cuckoo bananas sucky sucky kids I think syndrome because it seems to really be prevalent in the entertainment business We got to get a look at it. So this is just some of my some of my updates Oh, yeah, and they the adult baby diaper people, I want to say thank you so much for the reasonable emails I got from the babies. They said, I do, which it is interesting. Apparently, it is considered, I'm gonna use the word gauche to shit your diaper. You could pee pee your diaper, but it must be immediately cleansed. They find that people that mess their diaper, but you must be immediately cleansed. They find that people that mess their diaper, that's the term that they use in terms, like, you know, in their baby play are not in it for the right reasons. Okay. They're in there for poopy reasons, poopy cacao reasons, but

they try to keep it separate a lot of times, but most of the time they keep in it to yellow. Yeah. But what I heard was if they want to, they want to feel the poopy and not poopy, they feel the diaper full of oatmeal. Is that real? That's in the emails. What? Yeah. They put oatmeal in their pants.

Oatmeal in their pants? So they sit there, which sucks because I fucking love oatmeal now. She loves oatmeal. I fucking love oatmeal. Yeah, I mean, that's where it's been. And now I'm thinking about caca every time I eat oatmeal and how this feels like caca. You don't have to. But now it's in my head.

Well, it just, they know that it fills the diaper of very traumatized people. Mm-hmm. You know, and just allow that to wash over you each time. Are they traumatized though? A lot of them are. Seems like their fucking, their lives are great. No, no, a lot of people that are entering into, you don't become an adult baby necessarily because things are all jazzy. But you also, there are a lot of people talking about how it was just a nice escape from a high stress lifestyle. I could only imagine. You know, people get it, but they said that you'd be also surprised how little the diapers crinkle these days.

They're making them non-crinkly, making them super smooth. That's because they know people like you're going to blow up their spot. I'm not going to blow up their spot. I'm just going to say, hey, I see where you, I see the poo poo diaper you got on here. But it's like, it's more like someone left a, a baby diaper in one of our bathrooms and it fucking, it smelled like me was in there in here. No. In my, in my home. It's your home. So I left a baby diaper. Yeah. And it was just like, that shit fucking stinks, dude. Babies shouldn't smell like that, man. I didn't know that they diaper. Yeah, and it was just like that shit fucking stinks dude. She babies shouldn't smell like that man

I didn't know that they do I thought it smelled like diapers have their own trash can usually. Yeah It's really Barney from the Simpsons took a shit Like it's crazy what babies do man. I guess it's all milk. Yeah, I know my shit was definitely way more fucking cryptic When I was hard-line and milk, but I'm an adult and I choose that hell. Yeah, man Yeah, fuck that. I think it's okay. If you want to be in a diaper around me being a diaper I think it's great. He's open. You know, I've never I don't think I've ever looked at anyone's eyes midstream Who do you mean like mid piss? Yeah, I don't think I have I'm always standing next to people. I never like locked eyes with someone while

Extremely aggressive. It is you cannot be staring at somebody's face while you're at the urinal. Eyes on the road. It's like with animals. It's fighting or fucking. Yeah. If they say, if you look at a dog longer than six seconds, you're either fighting or fucking. That makes sense. Yeah. Like cause it can make them feel, well, I don't know if it's always with the dog. But it was definitely with people, but the dog doesn't think you're going to fuck them. You're creating a bond with the dog, but it was definitely with people but the dog doesn't think you're gonna fuck them Well, you're creating an abut it bond with the dog Rambo loves eye contact. Of course dogs love looking

Yeah, they love love looking and they love looking I give him his eye contact. I'm gonna love my boy unless you should All right, so let's get some news we want to start here with here today. We got a lot of show I put some follow-ups. Yeah, let's do it. Oh Yeah, this other one. Oh, this is not a good story. Since we're leading in, we're, you know, I feel like this is a segment. Yeah. We already are here. So we had a bunch of other bestiality stories that we had to cut. Yeah. We cut some for you guys because we know it's upsetting.

And so people get mad, but there was a couple in four, a lot of Dale that had a threple with their dog. And you know, they're in jail. Don't worry. And you can even imagine what the text must have been like on that chain difficult just being like I need some more space rough rough rough rough unbelievable how am I supposed to talk with you ping pong unless you use your words does this dog get adopted from the shelter I think that uh if that if that dog's been the center of a love triangle I don't know yeah it's gonna be hard bringing it back it's gonna actually that's a good question side stories lpotlgemail.com our dog's been the center of a love triangle, I don't know. Yeah. It's gonna be hard bringing it back.

It's gonna be hard. Actually, that's a good question. Side stories, lpotlgmail.com. Are dogs from the crimes? That suffer the crimes of bestiality. Can you just pop that back with a family? Or is it gonna start sucking father's penis? Now, this guy, this is a guy that we cover.

This is an update. Okay, an update. This isn't a new dog fucking story. This isn't new. So we're not adding to the pile. This is this is, uh, it's still a troubling story. We covered this over the summer. This was a Penn State professor by the name of, uh, Tennis Matsukas. Um, I don't think is related to Jason Matsukas, but I'd love to find out. Um, he, uh, was a Penn State professor. Now he, uh, there were they, the New York Post is calling this a sickening

beastiality case, but I'll tell you what, I've seen worse, sadly. But this is what he did, essentially, was that he would go on these trails and he, I guess, would film himself using trail cams that were just around. Like, I guess they could see it. They literally were from the ranger service watching the trails for safety and for animal control. And he would go up to these cameras and often he would masturbate and do a bunch of stuff.

And then one of the, but they say the main thing that was like- Why go to the woods to go away from fucking everybody or like you want some peace to jerk off and fuck a dog? I'll explain. Why do it in front of a trail camera? First of all, how dare you accuse him of fucking a dog? Cause he didn't do that.

Okay. What he would do is he would wear a mask and a shirt, no pants, no underwear and shoes. He get down on all fours. He put peanut butter on his butthole and he'd lift the dog lick his butthole. Okay. And Eddie, this is also what you'd understand.

It's like much like- What class did he teach? Much like, I think he- Hopefully not that they're in medicine. He knows the best. You're saying, oh, why go to the woods? Why do you?

And it was because according to his statements of the police, he did this to blow off steam. So now what we know, he got a steamer. He got what you could do. But now they found additional footage where they have now seen him use, he rubbed his dick on a gazebo, which is like one of the biggest park crimes with murder. I mean, yeah.

He put a tootsie pop up his butthole, they saw that on camera, great, great, that actually might be allowed. Again, it's your home. How many fucks did it take to get to the middle? Ha ha ha ha ha. He's snapping off one. But this guy. your home. How many fucks did it take to get to the middle? That owl's like, that's not how you eat it.

That's just cause that owl has a bit around. Go to more woods in Amsterdam. Does it like that? Come on. This guy, Mr. Madsukas, the worst one of these, it seems, is that there was a Forest Services John Deere crawler that was out and was on camera. And they watched him crawl up into it and then stick his butthole on the control stick. And it's just like, what a f- you know, because that's my thing. You're going gonna use the forest to masturbate in like you're

Winnie the pervert, right? We were going to do that Why then insult the very people that are there to kill like they're trying to like Put a condom on it. Put it Put a condom on the stick. It's a problem I mean, at least it's a level of protection. Absolutely not. No, no, you just, you leave the equipment alone. I mean, definitely leave the gazebo alone. I mean, and you obviously leave the dog alone,

but I actually had several, I was reading through the Reddit comments and there was one person being like, I met this man several times while he was hiking through these. Very strange man. I've met this dog. His name is Ace. He's a collie mix and he's got one eye. Maybe that's what face towards the bottle. Collies are attractive. Sit in the silence. Sit in the silence. I don't think...

That's a Lassie theme. Any dog is not a track. Yeah. Is there shit in my ass? Lassie? Oh, it seems Lassie's found that I left my blood plug. Oh, good work, Lassie. All right, now we'll teach you how to suck dick. Everyone stop listening.

Yeah, I mean, no, this is And so his crimes have been updated and he is going to continue to not do well. Yeah, I think as a man I think that still not the worst teacher in 10 state history I'm done. I'm dead. You don't understand. I do it to blow off steam. What do I have to do to get you to shoot me? I need to die. He is correct. He is not. Oh man, it's him and Jeffrey too, but they're going to be the only people eating lunch together. Now, what's this punishment for this? I think that he has to go work at a cat shelter. I don't know. I don't know what is punished.

He will go to jail. You think so? Like how long? Like five months tops, right? I hope as long what is punished. He will go to jail. You think so? Like how long? Like five months tops, right? I hope as long as they can. I think he, he, I think it'd be good for him. I think he needs some time away. Is he married?

I mean, look it up. I might be. A lot of these guys are, that's the worst. Cause you know what it is. It's not like, I love, I love my wife. Again, of course, yeah, this is not connected to the bestiality. I love my wife. And I, uh, just that idea of it, like you need to get away from your family so much that you have to have a dog lick your asshole in the woods, in the woods that I just, I just, you know where I probably go more towards? Getting a cool car.

Yeah. You know, I think that's where I'd shoot. Fuck that stick shift. It's my car. Again, if it's my car, especially if I'm not leasing it. Oh my God. Imagine if it went in reverse and then getting you an accident, what that would do to you?

That would be the, I mean, technically, it's, we're here. Okay, here he says, all right, team is Matsukas wife, age to dog. We know we've met the dog. Yeah. Are they, is she aged in dog years? Oh my God. Oh no. Sadly, he's single. Oh. Well, hey, he can still, you can fix him.

You can fix him guys. Yeah. He's long remained private about his personal affairs. We do know, wait, oh wait, he is married. He is married, holy shit. Yeah buddy. Yeah, I thought so. Wow, man. Yeah, we can leave her name out of it.

You can search for it if you want to. Yeah, I'm gonna leave her name out of it. She didn't do it. So we're experienced enough. Yeah, she's gone through enough. Yeah, wow. I just don't get why married guys, dudes, aren't you tired? Yeah.

Like, you know, I'm on new meds. I get tired. I mostly just like hanging out. Like, I haven't lost the horn either in this bit, but I focus it on the wife. Yeah. And she gets out of it. But I also can cut the idea of like, I don't know.

Like, your marriage is so bad. This is what you got to do. But so many ways to fix it. I would never have sex with Tootsie because she was my mother's dog. Yeah. It feels right. Wow. This is, we really have, this is great. I got some bad dog news, man. Oh, great. You ready for this? Yeah, sure. Fucking. This is also an update from, uh, from side stories. Okay. Bobby the dog, the world's oldest dog. Yes. I remember. Book of world records. Yes. I remember.

Guinness Book of World Records has stripped Bobby post hominously. Does that mean he said that was human as well as humanously of its title. Guinness said that it could not confirm that Bobby really lived to the age of 31. Why are they doubting it? I don't know. It's so crazy. It's a Portuguese farm dog. It had the title of 31 years old. People were talking about it before it died and then it passed away. Said it would have been born on May 11th 1992 and died last October. Whoa. Well, they started an investigation in October of 2023.

Yeah. Because I guess there was the address veterinarian questions concerns over lack of evidence really available to the public. Now, It's a fucking farm dog of 31 years. You think they'll grab papers? I mean, this is, but if you want to get the Guinness world records of oldest dog Then you better have all the papers in January 2024. It was officially suspended. This is old news They have now they straight up. This is the end of a new investigation. They went in they tore this open They're saying that this family was lying. I don't know why or the vet was lying

I guess basically it was a kid that grew up with them and now he's a man Yeah, well turns out that that kid was always wrong. Maybe that guy doesn't know maybe that child is not old They are really I think these drugs over again. It's have gone too far. I just wonder whether or not Well, what do they bet? Quee bono who benefits from lying about boby the dog's age the veterinarian the veterinarian? Yes, that's who benefits But they said they didn't really take him to the vet that much. Of course not. But then that, that is the one that's saying we were the ones that adjudicated his actual age. They owner stated that Bobi was in reasonably good health. Yeah. Although he had troubles with walking eyesight and breathing.

Yeah. I mean, look at, he looks old man. That's an old ass dog. That's a lot of, that's a lot of the dog, you know, the walking and the seeing and the breathing of it. It might as well just been like, you know, once you get rid of the bark, that's a rug. Imagine like working at Guinness and then like your boss is like, listen, I really need you to get this dead dog out of the, out of the book or records right now. I am sick of this fucking dog.

Every day I wake up, wake up. You're going to have a fucking call at four o'clock in the morning. Just mad. Wake the fuck up. Bobi's a liar. I know bobe's a liar it's mad that bobe probably tasted better than their flat-ass beer the cots right I said it wow are they a sponsor as Guinness a sponsor no I wish no I wish though no we do wish you you come for bobe you come for me no

goodness please please sponsor us we were here no they're like hemorrhoid diarrhea made by rapists. I like the Guinness beer, honestly. I do like the taste. It smells like all their mother's cocks. It's also nice. It's a nice change of pace from a survey. Venice is delicious.

You go fuck yourself, you're coming for Bobi. I love Guinness, but also Bobi. I love Bobi way more than I love Guinness. I think Bobi's a liar. Bobi's the tan and black and tan. I think Bobi's being like Terry Hatcher, who lied about her age famously. Really?

I believe so. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She's beautiful. She's absolutely gorgeous. It's also a part of like she looks like my wife. She's nice for me But like they got she she Jessica Chesane has said she doesn't talk about her age because it doesn't it won't affect her roles But they said that she won't say her age So see they say that she kind of be between 10 and 20 years old or not 20 years I know she's older than me. Sure. Yeah, there's a lot of people older than you You know, but none is beautiful Stain I don't think so. I don't think so But yeah, so yeah, that's been fucking completely torn apart fuck you Guinness So we'll see I want to know honestly before I say fuck you to Guinness

I'd like to get some transparency on the investigation how we know Yeah, I'd love to know how we know. And they're saying that they were investigating because it wasn't even transparent, but how that Naran and the family knew how old Bobi was. Also, I'd be interested to know the ostrich's health in the famous Guinness advertisement with the ostrich has the glass, the pint glass in its throat.

What? Is that ostrich alive? No way. It's gotta been dead.? What? Is that ostrich alive? No way. It's gotta been dead. Yeah. They're killing ostriches. Well, I think that ostrich died, but then they did monetize it.

Ostrich, pint glass. It's a drawing. It's probably not real. Yeah, it is not real. No, no, no, that is just, it's just fun. Yeah, I was just joking. You know, it was the Guinness thing, and it was more about stealing Guinness,

it seems to be, from the man. Fucking beers full of rats. But I love Guinness, and it was a more about stealing Guinness. It seems to be from the man fucking beers full of rats But I love Guinness and I can't wait to go to Ireland All right, let's go this next story. I yeah, you know, I'm well. I love it there. We have a lot of good stories today. This was the This guy we've covered a lot of different versions of insurance fraud, okay and Some are better than others. I'm gonna tell you right now if you're currently planning an insurance fraud

ciced or caper. Yeah, I want to put this into your head. It's a lot more difficult than you think it is. So a lot more work that goes on because these insurance companies don't want to pay you money even when it's legit. They can't wait for you to be dead. They're crooks. So the idea that you think it's easy to scam them, no, no, no, no, no, no, especially if they do pay up because then they don't, they truly don't stop investigating you. No. They come and look around, they come and check back up to see whether or not you still got that back brace on. Yeah They send private investment interest. They're everywhere and they pay for that money with the money you give them to fucking give you insurance It's awesome in a way. I understand it that way does much be fun for them. Yeah, cuz when I have a network of spies

It's cool But this guy he did he was really fucking stupid Willis Springs man Staged farm accident paid someone to cut off his feet. Yeah. Now that's gotta be how much you, how much you pay in somebody? Like let's say you cut off my feet. Like let's say you want to run insurance. I think it's important to say that he was already paralyzed. Oh, so you're just saying so it was easy. He was easy to catch.

Well, no, he, he didn't, not that he didn't need his feet, you know, but like- His feet were optional. They were, you know, he couldn't walk. But I'm still saying, how much would you charge? Like, let's say you are, you're going to do, you're going to run an insurance scam. Say a farming accident's going to hurt you, but you're going to have somebody cut off your feet. You're going to probably get paid out a million dollars.

How much of that would you pay for someone to cut off the feet? I think I would have to spend some good money on it. I'm looking at 25 grand. I was going to say 100. Let them negotiate, friend. Yeah. You're going to come in lower. I mean, no, you're going to come in higher and make sure the shit's done right.

No, you're going to come in lower because of that. Hire a doctor. You can just always find a dumber guy. I know. You can always find a stupider person. I know. That's how you get caught. But the thing is then you've got to whack that that guy if this guy would have spent some fucking money

He wouldn't have hired some random dude from Florida No, you have to know your guy and if you don't know your guy you jump, but then I'd say I mean you got a whack on technically In Tory Thompson's 20 years of law enforcement the Howell County Sheriff's Office lieutenant is examined his share of bizarre incidents This comes from the Springfield news leader by Ryan Collingwood. Are they the news leader? I don't know. I saw of Springfield, Monca, Lanka. This is in the Ozarks. Yeah. Now when this guy came in, he, he said that I had his bloody farm equipment accident. He said it was a super strange case and the details made it really weird. So the Howell County Sheriff's office had sent out this sort of weird press

release to local media about a situation involving a man, Will's brings now he said that he had lost his feet. What he called, what they said was a stage incident. Yeah. It was like a brush hog, which sounds like something I just want to do. Yes. I, yeah. I want to eat one. I want to brush one too. I like, I'll keep them pretty. What's a brush hog? Things taste better when they are loved. I agree. Absolutely. That's my favorite. A rotary mower. Always kiss it. It's a little row rotary mower, right? Attached to a tractor. Can we see a picture of it Rob? A brush hog mower? I'm looking at it now. It's a lawn mower. Yeah. It's just a regular lawn mower.

And he said that his feet were, you know, they were lost, quote, unquote. And the severed feet could not be found. And so then they went and they changed the, they closed the case because they realized straight up it was a very, very poorly, poorly executed plan. Yeah, because the feet were cut smooth off. And if it was a brush hog, the cop was like, it would have been a mess. I've seen it. Now, immediately, not only were they freshly cut, they were, they were, yes.

It looked, it was definitely not in a controlled manner. And they immediately were, they were bandaged already. Yeah. They showed up with two perfectly prepared stumps. And it was, it's been like, you wouldn't believe the afternoon I've had officer. Yeah. It was bandaged and they had tourniquets on them already. Yes. Yeah.

Um, why not? If you can't feel your legs, why not just do it with the fucking lawnmower? I think it's because you're looking for somebody to eyeball it for you, keeping it even. And cause you don't want one long, one like a longer than the other. Also measures twice. You could just do it with one. You really could have. It is big of a payout. Yeah. I Maybe you don't get as big of a payout.

Yeah. I bet you don't get as big of a payout. I bet you need to lose, you need to lose both. But I also, maybe you just straight up eating up the fucking guts. I mean, this guy had a hard life. He's already a paralyzed farmer. Yeah. I mean, it's not getting easier. So he just did this unnamed man from Florida,

probably somebody we knew. He made the trip to the small Ozarks town to cut the man's legs off with a hatchet. I guess it was all about him getting paid off. And the wounds were not convincing the cuts because what you're saying is, is that you're saying that you lost your feet and your feet were destroyed by a threshing machine. So essentially you should have spaghetti for legs. Like that should not be, it should not be a clean cut. Yeah, it's a skin and bones hanging down. I bet you that he lined up the Bush hog and he was going to stick his feet into the Bush hog and he was like, no, thank you. I

bet you there was like a moment in time, maybe I'll do it because you know what you could do because if he was paralyzed, he's not feeling it anyway. Yeah, but I think you could suck into that thing. You think so Yeah, I bet you you could get like even worse like I can't I don't think you could control a giant threshing machine to Just get your feet. Do you think they threw blood at the at the machine at the bush hog? They have proper people to, it's that deck, they have good special effects people. If they show up and the things just clean,

that's also another problem. But then they can be like, we wash it off because the dogs were getting at it. That's what I was saying. Before we came to the hospital. Yeah, because the dog, we licking him on free blood. You know where happens to go, a horse gets a taste of human blood, she won't get up all fat, Diane. You know where amperage of old horse cause it takes you human blood,

she won't get a ball fat die-in. You know, like you have to make sure you keep these separate. So they could have been licking at it and then they didn't want it. They didn't want all of their wonderful dogs to become cannibals. Yeah. But yeah, they said here, they found them in a bucket.

The feet? Yeah, they found them in a bucket and then they knew for a fact they were caught off by a hatchet. You know, buckets are you know great? I also Mean about the feet is that like you throw that feet into a gut until you get rid of the feet Yeah, you get rid of the feet if you're going to do the insurance scam you can say your feet returned into ceviche by a fucking Rotary machine. Yeah, then you should get rid of the feet

We're not trying to help you commit insurance fraud. I'm just saying do a better job do better job Just think more. All right, do better be better. This is fucking responsibility. This is the opposite of kicking the bucket The kick is in the bucket. All right, you have more heartbreaking news. This is a sad week. It is a very sad week. We have a lot of sad news this week. This one hits me close.

I know it does because this meant a lot to you and it meant a lot to us. The Canawass City, West Virginia holds a candlelight vigil for Hooters that was torn down on February 26th. Can we play in the arms of the angel? With Sarah McLaughlin. Yeah. So we don't really kind of feel what this is like because I don't know if you guys understand what it means for a community to lose their church. Yeah. And in West Virginia, there really isn't much to do other than go to Hooters. And hear fracking. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You just sit in the REU and you set your faucet water on. Yeah. The former restaurant is going to be turned into a Sheets gas station.

I, which I love last week. I love Sheets. She. She. Have you ever been to sheets? No, it's wonderful. Are they good? Yeah, they better be if they're taking over a Hooters, but these people every day, I don't know if you understand what it's like. You get up from your job that has been replaced by some green technology. Yeah. You know, you can't work anymore because there's too busy flying cars hanging out. You know how it is in these places

just riddled with work these people can't do. And they can't, you know, they're not, plutonium mining hasn't come into fashion yet. And you haven't yet, you know, they really began the what you're gonna have to do to cover up all of the horrible things that fracking is going to open up, how it's going to open up the very streets that you live in and your, in your little towns are going to slide into the magma that lies at the very center of the planet earth. We don't actually don't even know.

Do you know the planet earth is getting bigger? Is it really? Did the land or just the atmosphere? This is one of my new favorite conspiracy theories. Was it because the ice caps are melting? Nobody. The Earth itself is growing itself larger. Really? Do you know Ireland gets smaller every year?

Because of the ice caps. I don't believe that. They lose like an inch every year. All they do is want attention. Is that what you think? That's all they fucking want. All these Irish ones. I think they really want to be left alone.

No, no, no. The earth is not getting bigger. No, that's what that, that's what the fucking stupid mainstream media. PBS wants you to think that it's not getting bigger. But I, as a matter of fact, I know for a fact that it is getting fucking bigger. Because the magma and stuff inside of the earth is being made by itself. It's growing itself bigger.

Pangea makes no sense, dog. If you actually look at it. What do you mean it makes no sense? They line up, they line up. No, if you look, but that's again, too much sense dog. If you know if you look but that's again too much sense almost There here we go Why do I find limestone that only forms in Salo she's ah? Yes the first hurdle. Thank you with instinct ocean fossils at 3000 meters above sea level as you realize they are not oceanic fossils, but shallow seas fossils. So the idea is that the oceans were never fucking that deep dog. They were always shallow. They got deeper over time.

Henry, a Hooters in West Virginia has cloaks. I know. I'm sorry. All right. This is what happens now. You see right about how trauma leads to conspiracy theories. Or continue. Some of the people said, uh, some of the quotes from people. Can we get the song, please? There was a Facebook event

for the candlelight vigil at the Hooters. He said, it's official. We have all in one shape or form been holding onto a pure hope that someone would purchase this closed building down that once was the almighty Hooters spelled properly and reopen it. It was like capital H, capital O-O.

Little T-E-R-S. What are these people gonna do? Bring your candles and signs, and let's let Hooters in the city know we will miss it tremendously. Where are they gonna see their friends? We will have chicken wings and the traditional Ho hooter sauce on site. And a limited amount of the goat sandwich, the stripped cheese, will be available.

Stripped cheese is a bunch of chicken fingers on Texas toast. Texas toast. Yeah, I used to have to make them all the time. People love that. People love that sandwich. Yeah. This is needed. My heart will never be okay another person person said no, they won't be. I'm gonna get a strip cheese one last time,

dog. Another road. I can hear their pain. We'll be having a candle lit memorial for all the memories made. Those most can't be remembered in that building because of the alcohol. Yeah, please bring your own candle. Mixing alcohol and sales. Yeah, yeah, them shits as expensive is what they said about the candles. This isn't it, bro. I mean, like it's- Where are all those girls gonna go?

They're, I guess they're gonna be shipped back to Hungary? Yeah. Yeah, to the mines. Well, they're all college students, usually. In 2016, there were 430 Hooters locations. Now there's just 300. That is just Where have we gone wrong? You believe that? Where's our country headed towards? Yeah

How are we gonna get our light sexual chicken wing meal? Mm-hmm if Hooters is gone I guess Twin Peaks. What state do you think has the most Hooters Florida number two? They have 49 Hooters in Florida really which is it's aggravated because it's an out-of-mountain. Yes Texas is 55. Wow. I think it's because bigger state. It is a bigger state Port per capita, Florida has the most I was right. It was you know, we're clear water clear water your home You're hometown my second hometown your second hometown. Yeah, you know, I go past that that Hooters all the time Yeah, the six men. Yes, they opened it up and, and they had no business running a restaurant, but they knew People wanted boobs. Yeah But I wanted Hooters for three years. Don't they have a new one now that's all butts

Isn't the one that's called like it's called like Apple Bottoms or like or like mr. Mr. Bungles Floppy I know there's I know there's twin peaks and the tilted kilt Well, yeah, I've twin peaks which I was already lied to about there's a lot of whackers Well, because I well I thought it was a David Lynch theme bar and it went and it was just press I love it tally whackers. I don't know if tally whackers is even around anymore. That's I'm never male Hooters Oh, okay. That's kind of cool, but you know, no one ever made it so easy to see a penis Yeah, it is. Penises are so easy. We don't need a restaurant for dicks. Alright, here go. So observing take it back here The earth is growing

200 million years ago earth was a tad bigger than the planet Mars explaining everything including the mass and size of Dinosaurs and other life forms as well as the fact that there is one square foot of deep oceanic size of dinosaurs and other life forms, as well as the fact that there is one square foot of deep oceanic balsaltic older than 200 million years old, while continental plate happens to be billions of years old. So observing this growing Earth and remembering that 200 million years ago there were no mountains. How do we get our limestone granite mountains then? Alright, it's a rather easy answer as the earth grows exponentially faster as time goes by.

The many miles thick, 30 miles thick, granitic rock, the outer crust, cracked into pieces, continent and spread apart as the cracks filled in from the bottom. So the surface broke open and then water and magma came from, they're saying- Mountains are created by the earth getting smaller. There's two plates pushing together It's getting smaller getting bigger from the middle out

From the middle out. Yeah, it's getting fatter No mountains are not the result of continents crashing into each other. They have an answer for this tectonic plates If you thought so ever you would have to find continents that crash the North and South America to make the Rockies and the Andes. Those are it's that! It's the land! I have this, I have a document here. Oh yeah?

Yeah. Who's it from? It's on YouTube. It's a document on YouTube. It's a comment. It's a document on YouTube. It's the longest comment. That's not, come on. It's the longest comment. That's not...

Come on. That is a research paper. If you could see... That is... Look at this. The expanding Earth theory or growing Earth hypothesis argues that the position in relative movement of continents is due, or at least partially, to the volume of Earth increasing. Conversely, geophysical global cooling was the hypothesis that various features could be explained by earth

Contracting see we're actually not we're not getting hotter. We're getting colder. I just there's so much Hooters news. You know what I did yesterday is that you know, I read all this and I was like this actually really inspires me And I took a bunch of plastic bottles and a bunch of hairspray cans. I said I'm on fire in the front yard Yeah, just to kind of see that the purple fumes go and just because I know we ain't doing jack shit Well, they only pick up the trash once a week. Sometimes you got to burn it. That's all I do It's one of my favorite things. Um, the property you were allowed to burn trash. I wish I honestly I would so I thought about burning trash all of this is fake, but I thought about it. Don't burn trash, by the way.

I'm not burning trash, all of this is fake. But look into the expanding earth theory. This is my new, this is the new, this is the new realness. This is better than Hollow Earth. Hollow Earth's now like in movies and stuff and they're talking about it. Someone had to put another hole in the equator.

This guy is just so convinced. There's this guy, I watched a series of videos explaining this engorging Earth scenario. Like this idea that water and magma just come from the center of the planet and make it bigger. Where do you get the time? All day. I don't get it. Me or you talking about the person?

What do you mean? Yeah, to learn about this stupid, mindless, bullshit. It's called a job, friend. This is my job. To learn about this? Yeah. Oh yeah. You know what I can't? I still can't tell you the specific day of my niece's birthday. She's 18 years old. But I can talk about this all day. This is a very interesting because, you know, it's again, it's not interesting,

but it's it's not compelling, but I like it. You know, it was going to see right there. You see the vom Varkenshine urtbal. You see, it was corn on- Because look at that. Do you see right there? You see the vom-Varkershine urg-balm? You see that diagram? Yeah. See how much bigger the earth is. Those fuckers don't know shit. Do you see the plants?

The planets, all the continents fit together exactly neatly in order for the, so where the oceans come from of all the planets fit together neatly. What do you mean? Where the ocean come from. If the oceans between all of these- The ocean was there first! I'm guessing.

Only if you're fucking... whatever. You know whose birthday was October 4th, 1983? Do you know whose birthday it was? Why? I'm just asking. Do you know whose birthday it was, October 4th, 1983? No. It's Hooters.

Wow. Yeah. Clearwater, Florida. I mean, that's right. Born in the same town as your niece. This is the problem. Without Hooters. You don't think the conspiracy theorists like this aren't current flourish? Yeah. You don't think that without the actual like sitting and the commiserating amongst other men and wives that are sort of forced to be there, that like, you could go and you, like that idea of having a bunch of like lukewarm BLs

Where you know bunch of kind of like I like a Hooters chicken wing. I got no problems with the hood. I don't like the I don't like the Breaded ones. I like the I like the normal ones normal day total ones man. Yeah, I like those You know, and I've never had the what was that the slider sandwich? Oh the the oh the the strip sandwich The strip sandwich. I never had that sandwich. It's good as fuck But I could I normally stick to wings Mm-hmm. Um, I bet it is good. Yeah, but I see we say good or the bitch I think yes, it is gooder than a bitch, but I think that you guys can make this at home Yeah, no you totally can it's not about the sandwich. It's about you know these say will your wife wear the outfit at home It's hard. It guess what, you know, the same. Will your wife wear the outfit at home? It's hard.

It guess what? If you buy it and leave it out, sometimes magic happens. But you also got to get that extra strength. It wouldn't be good for me though, because I don't fraternize with my coworkers. Because you work with Julie? No, because I worked at Hooters for so long. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys have to remember, Eddie was a chef at Hooters for a long time. That was really fun.

It was a wonderful time in my life. I can't believe you went through all this and you even know the earth is getting bigger on its own. I know boobs are getting bigger. Well, that's the milk. Apparently there's a lot of surgeries. Yeah, they help pay for it. They pay for half. They do? Really? They'll pay for it. They pay for half. They do? Yeah. Really? They'll pay for half. I don't know. I don't know what it's, I don't know what's going on nowadays. You're talking

about Hooters. Hooters. We'll pay for your breast implants. Back then we had a couple of girls that just wouldn't, they'd be like, oh, where's a so and so. And then they're, yeah, we're making them right. They come back two months later. No, it says here, no Hooters does not pay for breast implants. Well, no. I mean, I'm pretty sure that, uh, well, someone helped her pay for it. I'll tell you that much. Let's just say Hooters as an organization, probably because we mean like, no, we don't do that. But there's probably a couple of managers out there. Yeah. They got screwed, man. Who just got

screwed? They fired me for selling weed. You know? Not to feel like that's the least of the scruples. I know. You were chef, quote unquote. You were a cook. You're supposed to sell weed when you are cooking. Yeah. How else are you bringing people in? Yeah. That's the side of it. I was good at that job. Yeah, you were. I was good. I just fucking turned those wings out, bro. It was so good, dude. It really does. I miss I miss, you know Wait, let's just make some wings. I'll see what this weekend. Mmm

RIP RIP. I'm sorry, West Virginia. You lost your Hooters and I'm what are you gonna do? You just make a new Hooters get a tally Whackers. No, don't get a tally Whackers. Why not? Look at this. They made a rest in peace. Oh yeah, with the two, with the two. Do you remember Hooters' Airline? Yes. When they had their old airline for a while. All right, so this was, this was tallywhackers was just a one place.

It was in Dallas. It was called Hooters, but with dudes. It was just guys were really trying to work. Did it last like a week? This is the thing about, again, with, I just feel like penis is a commodity that nobody really cares about. Especially when it comes to food. Yeah, when it comes, like, with, I just feel like penis is a commodity that nobody really cares about. Especially when it comes to food.

Yeah, when it comes, like, there's some about like, because it's not like the women were like, nude, because they had clothes on and they had short shorts on. Yeah. But like, these guys, I could, I'm looking at pictures of the guys from Tally Whackers and this is inappropriate. I'm looking at this and all I'm seeing here is mound. Yeah. Like, you know, and this is not, this is not what I come to, I don't look into this and all I'm seeing here is mound. Yeah, like you know, and this is not this is not what I come to

I don't want this for my eating establishment I also feel like there's a lot of people that would like to see it I don't mind seeing dick. You know, it's funny that I'd rather see open dick You think so yeah, I think tallywhackers is my favorite name for Pete. It's a great name especially for a restaurant. Yeah Great name, especially for a restaurant. Yeah Especially for a place where you could see a lot of dick. Yeah, they closed the Hooters by By the movie theater out here. That's that that's really sad. Wow. They did. Yeah, I used to go there all time have sad beers Mm-hmm. All right, we got anything else get some coming from your world. Um, I got

We got all the bestiality stories. We did we did. Oh, yeah, if you live in the We got all the bestiality stories. We did. We did. Oh yeah. If you live in the Northeastern United States and you had diarrhea this week, you're not alone. There is a They're coming. The CDC is like reported like it's a wave of liquid poo poo is coming and you guys It's coming for you. Hey, man. They just like wash your hands before you get your lobster rolls You should be man. Yeah, I feel like why did we not learn we not learned our lesson last four years about washing our hands 14% of all the tests came back positive for the no rovirus You guys got to be careful in New Jersey the Irving primary school in Highland Park. They just shut it down. Oh Yeah, they just closed it cuz no rovirus kids went through I think that see I believe seen his son just had no rovirus

Yeah, he just went through it was intense. He was like, he was shitting and puking. Yeah. It's not the stomach flu or stomach bug. You know, that's what people call it. It's a neurovise and it's not food poisoning. It's a virus. Yeah. It's a virus. But the school got a deep cleaning and has been reopened. Oh well. Oh yes. All right. I have a PSA That's right Now I love our boots on the ground reporting Okay, the people that are on like I love when you guys send me in and it sent me in these stories and Apparently this is a well-known

Character in the Melbourne area now Canada who brought us the guy that asked to eat people's shit, is also bringing this guy, the Melbourne fake seizure guy. Okay. Now there's an entire subreddit. Now you say Canada or Australia? Australia, I'm sorry. Okay, okay. I just want to make sure.

It's the other, it's the other one. Yeah. So there's a place, sorry, here we go. Fake seizure guy. A lot of people asking, it's the other one. Yeah. So there's a place, sorry, here we go. Fake shizekite. A lot of people asking, what's this guy's deal? You know, this guy is a very intense looking gentleman who has been doing this, I guess for the last decade in the Melbourne area in Australia, that he goes up to people and he says that he's about to have a seizure and Then what he'll do is lay on the ground. Do you remember Holden's never stop bit? Yes Where he just humped the ground and or is it no everybody clap your hands?

Everybody clap your hands and then you get on the ground He did scream and up the ground he sold it to Dan Saint Germain for 50 bucks $50 and now look at Dan Saint Germain He's everywhere. Yeah, we. We love you Dan crushing it So this guy he came out he what he does is he tells you about that the seizure which a lot of people who say they have Seizures like you don't always know you don't announce it or it's like you get really overcome with it And so what he'll do is lay on the ground and he goes up to young gentleman and he says pin me down and then he Has to be pinned down harder and harder and then it seems to be as if he is then rubbing himself on the ground in a sexual manner. And he wants people to pin him down. And so a lot of times he fakes having a fall, like he'll fall down.

And a lot of people, I'm seeing dozens of people having interactions with him saying that they'll call, like they'll want to call emergency services. And then he's like better But he wants a man to push him down on the ground and pin him with his whole fake body He's with his whole weight is he so he if a woman tries to help him. He's just like no He does But he goes up to men he goes up to men and he asked them and he And it's a stuff being like I'm he'll like you like hey I want to bump you up, but I'm about to have a seizure and then he like he goes down to the ground

He's like the only way to fix it is if you press your dick into me You're gonna need to so he says like push hold me down hold my arms tighter hold my wrists tighter Oh one time he said like I want you to stick your feet up under my crotch and stable, quote unquote, stabilize me. You're not supposed to touch somebody if they're having a seizure. You are absolutely not supposed to touch somebody if they have a seizure.

They get violent. Yes, and you're supposed to, I guess like- You can get stabbed. Yes, and if you do know, I mean, they shouldn't have knives. But you know, if one's around, you know, if there's like a pair of scissors or a pen around.

Oh yeah. You can get stabbed. But this is, one's around, you know, if there's like a pair of scissors or a pen around. Oh, yeah You can get stabbed but this is that it's really interesting. It's the way he's yeah He kind of like walks around super weird and he drops to the ground He fells it falls in front of you and then so this is what he did so like this happens right here I got this is some bloke walk past and he fell in front of me I asked him if he was okay, and he said yeah. Then he'd lay down on the ground and started shaking. He asked me if I could sit on him and restrain his arms. I told him I wasn't prepared to sit on him but I did hold his arms as did a couple of other people who were on there who were around. The whole situation at the time seemed

a bit off and I was skeptical but held his arms by his sides until my train arrived at which point he just got up and left. So this guy is straight up bull fashion weirdo. But he's been doing this for a decade. A decade. Oh yeah. He's like used to this. How much trouble can you get in for this? I don't know.

I don't think you can get in trouble for this technically. The summer said Gitman in UK, he got in trouble because he was, he was writhing around on the ground and causing people distress. And he was in a Gimp outfit. He was in a Gimp outfit and he was doing he was riding around on the ground and causing people distress. And he was in a gimp outfit. He was in a gimp outfit and he was doing overtly sexual things. Like he was rubbing his dick and balls and going, come on, come on, come on.

Right? Like, that's bad. That's obviously bad. But this guy, I think it's way more in a gray area where, but it's still, it is for certain sexual in nature, whatever it is that he's doing. But it's not- Gray isn't confusing and sad. Yes, I don't know if he- again, I'm asking for this.

I was looking all this up. Does he get hard? Does he come? Where's the reporting on this? Yeah, does anyone check in his pants for cum? Where is the fucking reporters on this? Yeah. Because I haven't seen one thing about him coming. Like, he doesn't eject- I've never been ejaculated or I've never heard him grinding erection. I've never seen those terms anywhere.

Yeah. Cops, when you find guys riding around the ground, do you check your, uh, their pants for cum? So it's always a POTL, a gmail.com. How do you check if someone's come their pants? Yeah. Uh, and you know how, you know how I do it through a flower atom, see if it sticks. Uh, that's a good way to do it. It's the old Pillsbury, no boy technique, which I learned, uh I learned being young man in show business. He got a friend of, and me a few days ago in Curtin Street, this is in

Carlton North. We were crossing the road and my mate yelled out, I turn to see a male early 30s lying on the footpath with one leg grotesquely bent. We rushed over to help him, but once up he collapsed on the ground saying something about having spasms, but they would get better. And then he asked someone to push hard down on his shoulders and have someone to push hard down on his butt. He was lying face down at one stage, pushed his arms up behind himself and asked me to lock his wrists tight and then demanded I do it tighter. My mate kept saying we need to get an ambulance and that he could not keep following the orders, which had become quite demanding. I ended up holding his arms. I had my knees across the backs of his knees, but eventually he stopped twitching and got up shook both of our hands and took off down the street.

So this guy is out there, you know, you ought to take people's responses on the internet obviously with a grain of salt. You never know who is telling the truth, but you've had experience with the fake seizure man side stories LPOTL and gmail.com. I'd like to figure out. Here's a very distinct face. He really does. It's really, he's an intense looking guy. Yeah. But I,

Easter Island head. He does. But I would just, I don't think he's all there. I got to figure out if there's a way to, can we fix this man? No. Can he be rehabilitated? What are you, some fucking cute girl? Don't fix him, okay? Leave him alone. I feel like, I believe in rehabilitation.

I believe in fucking sending him to Tasmania. I think that, but then we're gonna have to deal with him in Tasmania. I feel like there's a way to fix him. I feel like there is a thing you could do, but I don't know what it is. I think that would require him to come to the same. So it depends on whether or not he thinks he has a fake seizure problem It's he needs in Melbourne. He's in Melbourne. Yeah, so we might be

Yeah, she's coming to show. Yeah, honestly if you're in town fake seizure guy come by the show, um, and we'll get you on the list Yeah, I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. No seizures during the show, please and then he can go to Tutsi's favorite restaurant. Shakies. Little season. Little seizures. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really funny old bit. Yeah. Tootsie man. She started having seizures again. Poor girl. Yeah. Yeah. She's having some breakthroughs. We'll see what happens with Pumper, a full of more Kepra. Have you thought about pushing her butt down or pinning her with your body to

the ground? She was dragging her butt a lot. And then we went and got her squoze, and she's all good now. I'm just saying that was more of a bit. Oh, no, what happens is if she starts to cough, that leads to a seizure. So we've noticed that if she starts to cough, if we're like, Tutsi, Tutsi, hey, over here. She like stops sometimes.

Yeah, it's weird. Like we like, she like forgets that she's having a seizure Families all the minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I know you doctors like specifically told us not to do it, but we know it works They're like leave Malone if she's gonna have a seizure and then we're like I'm telling you she snaps out of it But it doesn't like push the seizure down. I don't, good. Her seizures aren't that long. We're going to get somebody emails from vets.

They're very short. We're going to get, well honestly, Julie's father's a vet. Yes. So you guys know more. What did he say? He said, pumper full of drugs until she's dead. That is all of our plan, isn't it? That's like all we can do.

She's 16. God damn. You know, so it's just like, you know, whatever it happens, it happens. But she's coming for boby, man. Yeah, man. Fucking get him. Because now the boby's fucking not real. But now they, they saying they need chips in them in order to be able to really track

but she doesn't have a chip. But she has a birth certificate. Oh, wow. That's extremely cute. I don't have my birth certificate. I have no idea where the fuck it is. You have the dog's birth certificate. It's like the same thing. I wouldn't got the fucking Wendy, the, her dentist appointment. I haven't gone in two years. I'm going tomorrow. Spike is now 23 years old. He's from Ohio. I bet he goes to, he goes to a

Julie's dad. Look at me. He's old as fuck. I love him. I'm always debating whether to plug his veterinary hospital or not, but I'm even not do it. Yeah, I'd say wait. Yeah, I'm gonna not do it. I don't think he needs my people going there. Who knows? He does well.

Yeah, he's doing well. I'll do some listening emails. We got a lot of emails about encounters with strange men. Now I love this idea of men and black being operated on operating and being around. I agree that there's a lot of love meeting a high strangeness person and you not know what it is, but you also got, I will put out there. Sometimes people are just fucking weird. So who knows? A recent side stories episode brought to mind a strange encounter that happened to me a

few years ago. My girlfriend at the time and I had ordered some food for a pickup and we drove over to the restaurant. It being the early days at the time and I had ordered some food for a pick up and we drove over to the restaurant. It being the early days of the pandemic and I had forgotten my mask, my girlfriend went inside to pick up our food while I waited outside. I stood on the sidewalk, looking at my phone for a moment before I was approached by a man I didn't recognize. He was muttering to himself and moved his hand in such a way that suggested some mental

illness afflicted him. He came up to me directly and after a bit of muttering he asked if and moved his hand in such a way that suggested some mental illness afflicted him. He came up to me directly, and after a bit of muttering, he asked if I had a cigarette. Sorry, friend, I don't smoke, I told him, turning back to my phone. He muttered more, and he said, your name is B-B-B-B-Branden. This is in fact my name. I bit my phone in my pocket and asked if we had met before, knowing the answer, but shocked into asking the question. Are you sure you don't have a cigarette? Was his only reply.

When I again said no and asked how he knew my name, not aggressively, but with evident confusion, he started muttering some more and wandered away. I called after him a few times, repeating my question, but didn't pursue. I was standing still with shock confusion as my girlfriend emerged with our food and we left. He was still just milling about as we pulled away and that was the last time I ever saw him. Now I'm rather forgetful man when it comes to names and faces, but I know I've never met this man before and I would have known it was because of his facial deformity. His forehead protruded out over his eyes about two inches in a way I've never seen before

or since. He's frankenstein face. Yeah At the time I anguished over this encounter, but he had no idea it comes up back and forth He doesn't know he doesn't know why but it was never know it'll ever make sense out of it Sounds like some guy just overheard his girlfriend call him branded and try to get a cigarette I honestly I think that's quite possible Psychic angel he could have been Odin You never know always be nice to homeless people. You never know if it's Odin. Yeah Anymore emails? Yes. All right between the ages of 10 to 13

I lived in rural Kentucky in the foothills of one of the oldest mountain ranges on the planet I'm sorry. I live with my dad and my grams No one lived across from us or behind us because of the foothills. Now, when I moved in, my grams had some rules I had to follow. At the time, I chalked them up to hillbilly, stranger danger. There were things like don't mess around with the wild animals, don't go out in the woods alone. Then they got a little weird. Don't whistle. If you hear your name, don't

answer. Don't go to it. And if you see someone in the woods you might know, know you didn't. You just come on home. Okay. This experience happened in August when I was 11. My dad and I had mowed path through the tall grass and berry bushes to the left of the double wide we lived in. We camped out there a lot because it was close enough that we could check on all my grams. My dad decided to go back up to the house about a quarter mile

to get more beer and to check on grams. Before he left, he told me not to mess with the fire. After a few minutes of watching the fire, things started to get quiet, like real quiet. They winded all but stopped. Bug and animal noises were all gone and the stream sounded like it was miles away. I was getting uncomfortable

even though I'd been at the campground like this before many times. Then I started to smell and taste it. It was in the back of my throat out of nowhere, this awful metal tang. After a few more moments of dread, my dad came back. He was mad right away, and he said that he could smell burning metal coming up the trail. He accused me of tossing beer cans in the fire. He said there was a storm coming in, and we to get back home and he let it go. We left the tent and started our way back. So it's pitch black, lightly raining, other than the dim lights

from the house windows there's nothing. First clap of lightning hits. Everything is as bright as it can be. After the second passes, it's black as pitch again. Next clap of lightning. And that's when I kind of see it. On the porch, past the yard, over the stream, past the road, and the ditch on either side, just past the first line of trees, I could see the silhouette of it. Then it goes dark. This is also when I can start to taste the same awful burning metal. I'm not really sure what I saw, so I just kind of stay still.

It's a few moments before the lightning hits again. The figure is now closer, standing side by side to the trees. Then it's back again. I'm standing now, not sure what to do. This thing's head was in proportion to its body. The arms were too long and this torso didn't fit right. It just didn't look correct. Once the lightning hits again, this thing is standing in the middle of the road.

The next day we discovered the tent doors torn off. It didn't look like an animal. Things were out, weren't cut or shredded, but look like someone took and pulled it apart. My uncle, who lived a mile or so up, had all eight chickens killed, had gone, no blood. Once I started dipping my toes into Reddit, that's where I realized there was a name for this fucking thing, the goat man of Kentucky. Now the goat man of Kentucky I have heard a lot about and I have a shirt that says the goat man of Kentucky. We cut the, and like, I love something like this. A big headed weird ass creature. It's the Pope like monster. Oh, it's got horns. The Pope like monster. We got to do him. A Pope like monster. I feel like we did the Pope like monsters

a part of one of our giant like a live shows at some point. We got to try to get back in there because I love the populate monster. That's cool looking. Yeah, it's cool looking Yeah, it's super creepy. It looks like it's got a deer face. It does kind of I guess goats close to me It's like a lot of times they're kind of nebulous. Yeah, they get a name and then kind of just keep it So this has been this episode does you have hands or hooves? I think he's got like claws or some shit. Yeah. It's, it's get changes. And why was there no blood and the clean? Oh, really sucked it all out. Oh yeah. Sure. We know. Well guys, this has been side stories. We did it again. Yep. Go to patreon.com slash podcast on the left to watch all of this on video.

You can see it. Henry, you can see me, Henry burpin, all of it. Last podcast on the left. You could see the sweat that grows on me and how that should inspire you to work hard. You can go and look at the tick talk. It's that LP on the left. I don't know why you would. But people do. People love it. They really, really do it. And they go to twitch.tv slash LP and TV. We're making a lot of bullshit there I also want to put out there. I'm about to do our brand new dune to review I saw it last night dune cast baby come back dune to I'm not fucking around was it good. It is legit It is extremely good. We're going on Thursday. I can't wait. It'll be the second time I saw it

I want to say thank you over the first dune today for the people that let me it's good. It's fine. I'm up to the worm You'll get there. We'll talk about it. But this I Couldn't have been happier lpn deep dives dune is now on his own Feed so you can go look up lpn deep dives dune and we will go you can hear me ramble about this from several years ago But we're gonna now I can't wait to talk about it, because it's been, I think it's been four years since we made the series. So now it's like, yeah, time has moved very fast.

So I can't wait to, so live, live knowing the future and what you have to do to follow that narrow line to take your family and all of the universe along the golden path. Because you love the fact that you, yes, your holy war might have caused billions of dead worldwide but finally you can distract people from their actual day to day grind and then you can laugh knowing for a fact because yes, you take a little water of life Yes, you now know that you are the fabled more deep you are the quitsack had a rack and yes

You know that part of the choices that you will need to take will make you a god emperor You will you will have to don the fashion body of made of worms and you will have to be a living God in order to distract everybody but that's when you laugh your way to the bank and even though you will pass the buck to your son Then that is it that is your choice and you pass the buck Paul. He does not live up these responsibilities Dude man, you're gonna like it coming with you at your worms. Yeah I want to give a shout out to Daryl Kalashaw, who's a fan of the show, and he passed away this February. Oh, that's really sad.

He listens, he hit me up a bunch of times. He was so sweet. He would always say, like, how good I was doing on the show. And he loved all the shows at LPN. He was sick for a while and a big shout out. Hale, Daryl Kalashaw. His mom hit me up and let me know he passed. That's extremely sweet.

It's very sweet. And I'm sorry that he died. Yeah, I'm sorry that he, uh, that he's, he's not with us anymore. We love him. We love his family. I hope you all are doing okay. And I'm sad he'll never know if Anders Bravik is innocent or not. I wish that, and honestly, I hope that when he goes up there, when Anders Bravik's up in heaven. I wish that and honestly I hope that when he goes up there when Anders Bravik's up in heaven they can talk. Yeah. And he can find that out. Hail Satan. Hail Darrell. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors you can support

our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.