Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Soup Watch 2024

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true-crime news starting with the biggest story of the week: The Knoxville community on "Soup Watch" after suspicious bags of liquid left on Pickens Gap Rd - AND THEN - An Ohio man named "Mr. Pancake" arrested with multiple gerbils in pants after breaking into Petsmart, Local San Francisco nudists save tourist from crazed "Pirate with a Blowtorch", Romania vs. Bears, RIP Liver Lips McGrowl, Pennsylvania man attempts to assassinate a former US President, Listener E-Mails, and MORE!Email Us! [e-mail] Podcast on the Left is now on Youtube!Join the Patreon for Ad-Free Episodes and Exclusive Video EpisodesVisit LastPodcastontheLeft.com for Tour Dates, Merch, and everything else!Last Podcast Network on Twitch

Who's Travis Kelce gonna date next? Don't know! Oh, Ariana Grande wants to meet Jeffrey Dahmer's parents? That's inappropriate! You're gonna hear about a lot of that stuff on page 7, hosted by Jackie Zabrowski, MJ Neffel, and Holden McNeely. And you're gonna love it, because you're gonna hear all about celebrity gossip, and you get lots of different blind item tips in there and you're gonna hear a lot of

Holden talking about his life Yeah, you gotta check it out I think if you go and you listen to this podcast you're gonna learn a lot about how Ariana Grande like sitting on Spongebob's lap Why though why though doesn't have a lap weird-looking man, huh? You can listen to stories about Ariana Grande you listen to stories about Tom Brady, he's mad about the roast. Let's do it on page 7. It's got my sister Jackie Zabrowski, she's like me but more Hillary Clinton like, MJ Neville and Holden McNeilly. Check it out on Last Podcast Network where all podcasts can be found on your phone.

network where all podcasts can be found on your phone. There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left. Sign stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, our country is under fire. Liberty, democracy, where will we be? 2025 to 2028 to 2031.

What's going gonna happen? But we've heard your cries and we know that now is the time for unity Which is why when I woke up this goddamn morning I? Had to hear one song in order to get myself up Preach I needed to hear the words written by Preach I needed to hear the words written by Francis Scott Key. Yeah, Francis Scott Key. I needed to hear the prisoner. I needed that Hear that song to know what I podcast for they took a whole verse out about slavery We learned a lot of very intense information at the African American history museum in Washington DC. But let's first of all rise for the national anthem.

Who'd broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight, this fight or the reports we watched were so gallant. What song is this? It's that one bursting in air Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave Say Give it a risk Or the And the home of the brave. Still got applause. Still got applause. I mean, how do you not applaud? Welcome to Side Stories.

It is I, the modern Cronkites of your time, Henry Zaprowski and Ed Larson. How you doing? That was sung I think a person I've never seen before she was very blonde and it fully exemplified how I feel about the current election season. Yeah yeah. Because uh yeah she looked very intoxicated. Ingrid Andress? Yeah that's her name. What What does she do? Does she write songs for Putin to kill dogs to? What did she do? She wrote a good song for Charlie XCX. Oh, was it? She's the Brat Girl. Yes.

Brat Girl Summer. And I guess that's what we're in the middle of now, aren't we, folks? Brat Girl Summer. That was so bad that no one even knows who won the home run derby Oh, I couldn't possibly give a shit, you know It's a dumb thing to do. It's just hitting the ball. The best part of baseball I know I think baseball which we can't even can't sandbag ourselves I can't because you know, I'm a true American gotta Wow. I love baseball. You hate it. I do now We have to address the elephant in the room, which is we're gonna have to talk very quickly

about the assassination attempt of former president Donald J. Trump. Now, my tears have been wiped. I am ready to move on and collect. Well, so is everyone else, apparently. Yes, yes, yes, and I will say for a man who can't walk up a ramp or drink a bottle of water When those shots rang out he moved like a Tomcat. Yes. He was like Spider-Man. He looked like Toby McGuire

He was doing like I mean, maybe he should have went to Vietnam. Yeah, not even good No, I mean we had we did a lot more than dodge With his hands, I don't think you would have been able. No, well, I mean, we did a lot more than dodge bullets in Vietnam. With his hands, I don't think he would have been able to hold the rifle. Now we know that our incredible previous president, Donald Trump, was shot at by a egg-shaped head piece of shit by the name of old Tommy Crooks. Tommy Crooks!

Tommy Crooks! Now, what everybody kinda knows, but just because of the nature of this, we can get into the shooter a little bit. Yes. Because normally, in any other of these types of scenarios, we wouldn't spend a lot of time on the shooter. Yeah.

Well, I think one of the important, you got to give credit where credit is due. And as far as like Trump goes, you know, at least he's finally got his ear to the ground. Very good. It's very good. It's very, very good. And it's hard for him to get down there. And you can see it was also difficult for him to get up. It took a whole village to get him back up,

which again, and he did. And then he went golfing without a bandaid, and then he showed up at the RNC with this big old like, feel bad for me, flappy thing on his ear. And then he looked like he slipped in a puddle urine and a McDonald's Smack this big fucking head into a napkin dispenser, but that's fine. You know again, we wish him no ill will I Had a teacher my geometry teacher went missing for three weeks and then he came back missing an ear and man did we?

Roast him. Oh, I bet. I bet. Because also, what a curious thing. It's also to have a teacher that go from having two ears to one ear is very distracting. Not even mention it? No, yeah, but you're like, nothing? Just try to just go back to triangles? He's like, hey, buddy, you got Pepsi Cola here right now. I can play it like an old wine glass.

I want to know what's going on. Now, yes, we are going to not focus on our brave ex-president. My God, I love to watch him golf. It shows how much he cares. But he can't even have his shoes on during a speech. Yeah, it's because they hurt. He's just got fucking gout. All right, he's got gout.

And too much shrimp backstage. He's just, I, this is as far as we can go. Okay, guys, this has taken a lot of strength. Every single thing that we're saying here has been monitored heavily by China We asked them ahead of time What's okay? And what's not okay? And this is the script that they actually gave us. Oh his stupid little wave. That's fine I don't want to look at him anymore. Get him out of here, Rob. I don't look at I don't look at your up anymore I want to look at Tommy Crooks now looking at this guy

He is not only was he a bad assassin, but apparently using even worse dresser. Yeah, so when he went into school He's a literal potato head literal potato head. He went to my wife's high school now This is a part of Pittsburgh that is actually pretty traditionally conservative. Oh, is he in this is Joe? Yeah, he's a full-on y is, oh yeah, he's a full on yinzer. He is, well, maybe not. I think some people would, I think that that would be under Pittsburgh argument about whether or not he's a yinzer.

I think a lot of Pittsburghers, guy are like, ah, no, we don't claim him. He was in a fairly conservative neighborhood. We know that his family was both like libertarian, Democrat, I don't know. It doesn't fucking matter. He has no no social media presence so we don't really know what the hell it was that he was thinking there was some things that are smoke screens or not smoke screen the fake shit that was immediately out

everywhere we don't know whether or not he actually there was a couple of social media profiles that showed an anti Epstein style like thought process that he was having but I think that his main thought process was am I eggs because I think that he wasn't super bright but he somehow outsmarted the entire Secret Service and the Pittsburgh Police Department. Well Butler Police Department. Yes. Not throw Pittsburgh Police Department under the bus. I'm sorry. I'm extremely sorry. It's definitely a small town police department that was not I think there was definitely one cop who knew that what was going on and didn't do anything. And he went up the ladder and then he pointed the gun at gun at him and he went, Oh, sorry.

Yeah. Yeah. And then he went back down and then he this he shouldn't be a cop. But there is no explanation yet of where in the living fuck this came from. We know that the gun was purchased probably by his father. Yeah, it's a legal gun. He is a child. There's stuff that's all over the place saying that he was bullied, he was not bullied. The thing that most people come across- They call- his nickname was the school shooter.

They would call him the school shooter. It seemed like he would show up to school with his hunting gear. It was prophesized by his classmates. He was smelly. You know, they would make fun of his personal hygiene. He was not popular. He wasn't smart. He wasn't good He wasn't funny. He wasn't talented so yeah, he tried to do Also, he wasn't good at he was in a Black Rock commercial. Yeah, wow that's right He was in a Black Rock commercial commercial and that's not suspicious at all. I will say

when we were the moment it happened, we were backstage before going in front of 1700 people like literally posters in Washington DC just trying to be chilled like literally I just started screaming I just heard like whoa, whoa when they went in the other room and I will say I don't know if it's a good sign that all three of our first Impulses were this is fake There was a thing when we were watching where you like there was a little part of me little Back of my head thing that was saying because originally you kind of saw like some pops And then you saw him kind of touch his ear. He was he's in the wrestling Hall of Fame

Yeah, it's a very much a wrestling move. And we didn't know other people were dead yet. He has always like the main thing. Oh, very much so. And he has a lot to distract from. So I feel like, you know, like it does play. He also seems the type of person who would try to put this together,

especially the way he hires people. Of course you would hire a not talented 20 year old to do it. Yeah. We also know that the Tommy Crooks was also super bad in his rifle club. He was one of the worst of his rifle club. He was a good, he was also showed in his actions.

Well, I mean, he was what, 150 yards away, 500 feet? I mean. Yes. Which also, how'd he get that close? Don't know. And, but we are now obviously more information is coming out. We're not gonna talk about this that much longer. It's not a political show.

No, because again, there is, I actually. I mean, well, the actual shooter is in our realm. We've talked about, you know, I'm in the camp of Hinkley who shot Reagan and they let him out. I am in the camp of keep him in prison. I don't know why he's out. I think it's, we talked a little bit about this. It's because Reagan lived. If he had died, it would be different. But because he lived, that why he's out. I think it's we talked a little about this is yeah cause Reagan lived if he had died

It would be different but because he lived that was the way out executed this kid in the in the moment. I They will they lit him up. Yeah, he was shooting at the president. Yeah Why do they let the last guy out? Because enough time had passed. I don't believe in it. I mean, I don't know I I'm on the I'm on the like I don't believe in it. I mean, I don't know I I'm on though I'm on the like the hazy knife edge here because with Jonathan Hinckley John Hinckley, I'm more so I wish I could see him live Yes, I want to see play his songs real bad And they keep shutting down his shows. Yeah, he's canceled. Yeah, cuz I want to go see it But he just could never find a place

He says of course He's a victim of cancel culture and you really need to think about that Eddie is that is prison so much a punishment as when it comes to being flamed on the internet so much worse they be to be made fun of and have people just like crazy though that the first reaction from the people on the right and the people on the left and it seems like most of the people that were in attendance was this is fake Yes, there was isn't that fucking nuts. I I don't want to get too far in the weeds here, but let's just say

Certain things are the consequences of tone that certain members of our former elected Government have set. Mm-hmm. So we will see how this plays out. Tommy Crooks, I actually can maybe even see that he did this to be funny. I think that he is a shithead edgelord that... I don't know if he's ever made anyone laugh. No, never once. No, no, no. I didn't laugh. Maybe Clay got like beat up or something. No, I'm not laughing now. None of it. This is only makes things worse. Yeah, whatever. Enough of this fucking piece of shit. Well, you know, in the end he got lit the way fuck up.

I got a couple of shots off. They turn them into spaghetti. And now we are just we just get to sit in a wet diaper aftermath of this and we are continuing to coast through. I will say the polls have not moved an inch. So it's almost like it didn't happen It is crazy how like our first reaction was like is this good for him? But that's all anybody here shot in the head. We're like

Yeah, well you know because we there was a there's an absolute Rigid fear running through this country which I was watching an old episode of Drag Race the other day and they were doing the same crazy, very intense election rhetoric in 2018. And I sat and thought, I was like, we've been doing this bullshit for eight years and I don't like it anymore. Yeah. So we shall see how this all pans out. Uh, main thing is that we said we thought a really good move.

Biden needs to have sex with a man on camera. Yes, because I think this is something I want to talk about. If Barack Obama, he spent so much time not letting himself be gay. Yeah. And I think that he should have. Right. Because now we know he definitely had sex with Scottie Pippen. Yeah. Yeah. We know that for a fact.

And Joe Biden, I really think- Just to work on his triplets. Oh, yes, very much so. Now, Joe Biden, I do think that this would be the time, I think this is a good time for him to get, I'm looking at this whole picture of him right now, he looks like he's watching that video of the hippo fart and shit with the sort of the windmill-like tail there,

but he is at a press conference, it's fine. Oh, Joe, please, for love of Christ, can you live? I don't know, just look at his old face. Here's the living shit out of me. Who do you think could be a good man for Biden to fuck? Oh. I'm thinking Gore. I think he needs to go, unfortunately, for the kids, Jacob Elordi.

Ooh. He needs to go young and hot. Ooh, what about Bieber? Oh, Bieber, he's already dealing with, he's traumatized by Diddy. So he can't deal with that. So I think that if Biden were to go, Jacob Elordi, you'd be perfect. I don't know who this guy is.

He's a famous. I only know because of Jackie. Yeah, he's very famous now. He's very handsome. Who the fuck is he? He's a Saltburn. Saltburn? He's the guy who's comes.

He's the hot guy. Oh, he's the guy with the good cum. He's the guy with the good cum. He's the guy with the tasty cum and salt. Oh, okay the good cum. He's the guy with the tasty cum and sulfur. Oh, okay. Yeah, you'll love this guy. I think of Joe Biden, if he dyed his hair pink and had a septum ring and not even like,

he can top. By, oh, I mean, I mean, it'd probably be much easier from the bottom. No. Just sit there and wait till it's over. You think his knees can handle getting bottomed out by Jacob Elordi She couple already has sex his knees. They're gonna be belly down on a bed

Horizontal you think they're gonna be laying on top of them you think him lying spread eagle spread out like pizza dough is the way to go That's not sexy. That's not gonna get Jacob Elordi going. No one says it has to be sexy We just gotta get the job done, buddy. It's got to be sexy. Look at fucking what was the show? You want it to be oh no, we have to see it Oh, yeah, no, we have to see this buddy because no one's gonna believe it if it hasn't like I didn't know it was like a sex Oh, yes. Oh, it's a sex production. Mmm. No, this is a live show This is a donkey style show. Okay.

Democrats. Democrats, donkey show. That makes a lot of sense. But I feel like if he really wants to swing it the other way, that's what we'd do. But again, no one's answering my letters. I keep sending letters to Biden. And he hasn't got back once.

And we did get into last week why he can't write an executive order about peeing your pants in public and making it legal. So you said, obviously we got to do a bit of a, I would say a legal discussion. That's Joe Biden's got a great body. Anybody who's got a problem with that. An 18 year old man. He's got a great body. That is Jacob Elordi can do something with that. And if not, Jacob Elordi got both of his legs. What's a more famous, bigger, more genteel? David Hyde Pierce. He's gay, right?

It looks like he's got James Garner body before he died. And that's great. Actually, he probably should be with somebody like. I think middle-aged is better. Yeah. You know. Idris Elba. Idris Elba would be great.

But I don't know if he kisses presidents. Unify, you know, Britain, show our, show our, you know, unification with them. Our faith with them. But, you know, again, we'll find out. We got a couple months of November. Mm-hmm. Live from your grave.

No, I have an update. OK, I have an update. What's the update? We'll get into how. All right, this was Sneeze advice into how all right. This was sneeze advice Sneeze advice this is huge. Yeah, now we say it about not holding in sneezes, but we know for a fact sometimes Societally we must be quiet. How do we do this? Yes? I can hold in a sneeze. Yes, but it's bad for you We know that now. Yeah, but I'm pretty good at doing it

All right I work on a film set according one of our listeners and I've had to stay silent while they're rolling cameras, often for extended periods of time. You can delay a sneeze by finding the spot just below your nose and your upper lip. There's an indent in there. You jam your finger in there. You can avoid sneezing for at least a few minutes. Yeah. Or if someone's about to sneeze, you say, God bless you, before they sneeze and they

don't sneeze. You ever notice that? That sounds like a curse. Yeah. That sounds frightening. It's like a fucked up thing to do, but it usually works. I actually don't blue ball they don't sneeze. You ever notice that? That sounds like a curse. Yeah. That sounds frightening. It's like a fucked up thing to do, but it usually works. I actually don't blue ball me on my sneeze. I like to sneeze. Yeah.

I just came in my pants. Now when you feel the urge to sneeze, another listener email says you've got to exhale all of the air in your lungs just before the sneeze happens. The less air you allow yourself to inhale right before the sneeze, the smaller and quieter the sneeze will be. This is a lot of work, though. I've been doing this for years, and it works every time.

Sounds crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Just let yourself sneeze. Yeah, sneeze it up. You can. And then we got another update on the lobsters. This is interesting.

I love this. So a pile of 800 lobsters was found. It was a pile of 100 lobsters. Was it just 100 lobsters? The first story we talked about last week. Yes, it just gets right because I'm saying that this might be linked to a lobster theft of 800 pounds of lobsters. 800 pounds of lobsters.

Yes, so the 100 lobsters were left out in the field. Yes. 800 pounds of lobster was already stolen, right? And they believe this might be some feud between Canadian commercial fishermen harassing First Nations peoples. All right, there's apparently this isn't just a cut. I take from one of our listeners. There have been a lot of issues in Nova Scotia with commercial fishermen harassing and stealing

from indigenous people who are exercising their fishing rights. There have been many reported thefts and it's not uncommon for people to drive huge orders of lobsters to sell on the side of the road in Ontario. And I think there's a very good chance that this was stolen seafood, and to Eddie's point, the cooler probably quit somewhere in the 17-hour drive between provinces. All right.

Yeah, and then the 800 pounds of lobster that was stolen out of a Dipper Harbor wharf, they're looking around and they want you to report anyone selling underpriced lobster And how they want to find that like that's so funny. Oh, I'm gonna cut my I'm gonna cut off my cheap lobster connect Yeah, you gotta get me all my delicious cheap ass lobster Also the cops just could like lobster. And they're just like, so where did all this cheap lobster come from? Yeah, you need to tell me about that, mister.

I need to do an investigation. Cutting him all covered in seawater, big like, hugging a big pile of lobster coming out. And I'm like yum, yum, yum. Everybody's getting sick tonight. No, I wonder if this is war, but this is not the only food-based story we have today. No, 400 cases of meat were stolen from Philadelphia. Dude, what in the living fuck is happening? I mean this.

This is not even sent in by a listener. These are loose, discarded piles of meat that are just making the news every day and we don't know why well these wasn't Discarded they're just missing all this. I mean, it's the cheesesteak capital of the world So lots of meats gonna go missing in this town So these bandits they made off with 12 pallets of meat and they were taken at 450 a.m. While they were like slacking off while unloading it into a restaurant. And then someone came up and told 12 pallets, stole 12 pallets. How heavy is 12 pallets?

I mean, insanely heavy. But then what is someone gonna do with that amount of shredded beef? All right, if you wanna assume a pallet has, I don't know, 200 boxes of beef on it and each box is 10 pounds. Whoa! Like that's how much beef was stolen

from Southwest Philadelphia. What are they doing with it? They're is 10 pounds. Whoa. Like that's how much beef was stolen from Southwest Philadelphia. What are they doing with it? They're going to make cheese steaks. Where is it coming from? Who to where? We don't know. That's all the information we have. We got to start finding out if the driver claims he knows nothing. Also, I know nothing. I know nothing. Sounds like you might be in on it. Yeah, it's nothing no injuries reported. He said he opened the back and all the meat was gone Well, well, look at that. Oh That's not good. Oh No, there used to be a lot of meat in there

How does it how long does it take to steal that much meat? I would say an hour I bet you could do it in half an hour Isn't that somebody's entire day's work? At five o'clock in the morning somebody might be sleeping. I don't know how he did, but no, he's obviously the driver. Yeah, he's selling his... But Mike, all right, we talked a little bit about this. We got one email from someone whose family was in the meat, the illegal meat industry.

Yeah. And I wonder where does this meat go? Like, what purpose does this serve? Because if you're just slinging cheese steaks out of your home, how do we, how are we selling these? How, how do we even know that you're selling them? I mean, I think that it's probably, if I were to, I would follow the food truck scene. I think if anyone's going to buy illegal meat and sell it, it's going to be the food trucks,

not the restaurants. Dude, we need to be fast food detectives. That's what we need to do. It's summer, there's lots of more food trucks than there are in the winter. And I guess that would be a huge overhead for a food truck. It's Philadelphia, every food truck has to sell cheese steaks. Absolutely. Now I also wonder, because then there's also, you've got the different types of cheese steaks,

never mind if there's shredded chicken in there, because then you get the shredded chicken steaks and then you have the Kobe beef you do that or the Korean style Now they got that with the cheesesteaks, which is fucking technically cheating and yeah, it's not a cheesesteak It was not an original whiz wit with onions and I said cheese whiz in it It has to have onions in it American or provolone is acceptable. Yes, but white American cheese whiz is I like American or provolone is acceptable. Yes, but cheese whiz is truly. That's not how I do it. I like American. I do American.

Well, it's better cheese. Technically, it's better cheese. Yeah, the cheese whiz just makes you sick, but it is the way you're supposed to do it. That's how I like it, I like it soft. And you put it on the bun and then drizzle a little bit on top. Oh man, it makes my mouth water.

This is how my father has to eat right now. Cheesecakes? Because he can't really get it all down a lot. Yeah, he can't chew anymore. He doesn't chew, it's more than he doesn't. get it all down a lot. Yeah, he can't chew anymore. He doesn't chew. It's more than he doesn't. And so what my mom does is like his main food. Takes a cheese steak and just pours a bucket of water over it.

Basically. And then just like sucks it up like a spaghetti. Like he's Joey's chestnut. Yeah. Yeah. He just sucks it all down. He makes the food as soft as possible. And in that way I get him.

I like hanging out with your dad. I mean, hey, no chewing, no problem. All right, it just slides down. I just saw this. This is really interesting. Detectives think that this might be linked to a crime ring that back in April 2023 stole $200,000 worth of dimes from a truck. This is very interesting.

It's like the inconsequential crimes unit. It's like this group of guys have got together and were like, you know what they're not watching? The dimes. And then they go steal all the dimes. They're like, yeah. Someone's gonna get us a shitload of dimes. How are these guys doing this so fast and how are they carrying this much weight?

They have to also have a truck, right? $230,000 in dimes. I mean, I could only imagine what that weighs. They must have access to a truck. These are trucks. Of course they have trucks. Yeah must these are truck course of trucks Yeah, these are guys who are taking this around where the times go though. These are Philadelphia. What are they doing all the times? Yeah, I guess you just spend them

Dropping them. Well, I know that I definitely I mean I'd be suspicious as hell because everywhere you went would you like? $100? Excuse me? I would Yes, I'd like to deposit a hundred thousand dollars in Dimes, I'm sorry, sir. If we put that many diamonds in our safe. It would sink into the crust of the earth We can't do this sir. This is not fort not is that all of the dimes? That's most of the dimes. A man handed me change the other day for the first time. I mean it since COVID. Did you just throw it in the street? I didn't know what to do with it.

I was like, where do I put this? In your car. For what? I got a little bank. Nothing's got, nothing takes dimes no more. It ain't nothing. It takes dimes no more, Eddie. You don't, see, you don't use cash really.

I use it every once in a while. Yeah, see, I always get changed though. I mean, I'm not a bank. I'm a bank. I'm a bank. I'm a bank. I'm a bank. I'm a bank.

I'm a bank. I'm a bank. I'm't use cash really I use it every once in a while. Yes. Yeah, I always get changed though I mostly do this it's what I like how I like to use cash Is that when somebody cheats me or fucks me up on traffic? I take cash out I just wave it at him and I give them the finger. Oh, but then I put it away Yeah, no, that's smart. That's smart. That's not gonna backfire at all No, that's smart. That's smart. That's not gonna backfire at all You be careful you mess him with I can call Morgan a Morgan anytime There was another oh, yeah, there's more than that. Just this is not just you this is what I'm fucking talking about I don't know how side stories does it sometimes a specific thing happens and then it just happens again and again and again and again and we are

Controlling the news. No, and we aren't making this happen I might be but we Eddie doesn't know that and I don't know if I'm not leaving piles of meat out there just to create Stories. Yeah, but they keep happening. Well, you work for the government and But yeah, no, so Tennessee Knoxville, Tennessee, are you ready for this? Mm-hmm. Um, there have been repeatedly... This is real! This is real.

This is more real than the assassination attempt of Donald J. Trump. On Pickens Gap Road in Knoxville, Tennessee, they keep finding bags of gross liquid. They're finding soup, soup watch. 20 bags of gross liquid. They don't know where it's coming from or who's doing it. Bags of, this is thinking about how much harder that is than just a pile of meat, because I truly believe if this was buckets of liquid, I'd be like,

all right, yeah, sure. Bags of liquid. I mean, I think we got a single culprit here. There is a, the idea of someone bagging a bunch of liquid in large amounts and spreading them across the road, and then people are hitting them with their cars and everybody's mad because they're getting a bunch of old ass soup all over their fucking car. Is that necessarily always soup?

No, not necessarily. You're just calling it soup. I just want to make sure that people know at home. If I was an investigator, I'd call the element soup. That what he is serving is soup. But yes, it's just mostly viscous liquids. The Knoxville Soup Tosser would be a good name for this person. Absolutely.

And whoever he is, I want him on the show. Sign stories, LPOTL, gmail.com. But don't bring your soupy bags. I mean he can have them over zoom over zoom you can have your soupy bags Yeah, you can have them in his house. There's a clip from the news I wanted to so yeah well before you play it just you know this comes from KCSO and The entire town of Pickens Gap well, it's Knoxville. Oh I guess Pickens Gap is the road. Right? Yeah. Who fucking cares? It's a small road.

It's not your typical road in Knoxville. It's not a main stretch. Okay, so this is off to the side. Yes. So that's why they're not necessarily getting... That's why this hasn't been on C-SPAN. That's right. Okay.

Now, remember, it's tearing the entire neighborhood apart. And they don't know who is doing it, and it's gotta stop. Yeah, see, look, there's just like a church, and that's it. It's in rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Alright, here's a clip of the panicked people of KC, of Knoxville, Tennessee. Through Facebook groups, people who live along Pickens Gap Road have joined

together to try and catch the person responsible. They even have a reward for $300 for information that can lead to an arrest. Wow. Lots of us are friends just from just from growing up here. A lot of us know each other. So I mean we all put our heads together. I'm surprised they haven't been caught yet Honestly, but but it's coming. It's coming The contents of these bags are still unknown, but many believe it could be human vomit Sheriff's office spokesperson says they are currently investigating the case It could be human vomit. Oh yeah, so I'm on the Facebook page.

It's the South Knoxville Soup Gate, and there's 165 members. If you wanna go join the group, I'm gonna join right now. Yeah, sure, yeah, join. And it says my offer still stands, $100 for the arrest from VW Scout. It's a lot, it's not a lot of money. It's not a lot of money.

I know that it's hard times out there with inflation, that's like a million dollars. But in Knox lot. It's not a lot of money. It's not a lot of I know that it's hard times out there Inflation that's like a million dollars. It's not that bad, you know, and then Steve Glass says he'll match it So that's $200 right there. That's huge. Yeah, because Soup is not back in itself Take somebody else but it puts soup in a bag and weaponize it. We need to think, because what does it mean? What does it mean? What is the man's motivations? These are as mysterious as Tommy Crooks' ideas.

Yeah, someone says, I'm wondering if it's not soup, but in fact just food that is so rank and rotten that the heat is becoming liquefied and disgusting. I call that soup. Yeah. Oh yeah, that is street soup. That's just straight up soup. Yeah, so I heard, oh yeah, now people are just being rude. Yeah, now you see that it's a problem on Facebook.

Yeah. Are you saying, get on there and they get confident? There's a couple cute things, yeah. And what do they say? What's the rude things that they're saying? The rude things is I heard one bag was already killed, already killed a biker Well, that's that's actually just sad. Well, it's not true

Never said it was true said it's what I heard. See this is why you don't read these you can't yeah These people this now we're getting into like small community fighting fighting. Yeah bags of soup bags of soup, but it is fun Yeah, oh, yeah, of course because it's a real crime, but if you're going to puke in a bag, why would you keep it in your car? I just think littering's bad. I think if they just littered, if they just puked straight into the road without the bag... So much nicer. So much better. Well again, it's not...

It's like when, you know, I was walking around my neighborhood and someone had picked up dog shit with a bag, tied the bag, and then littered the bag. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard Why would you do just leave the fucking shit where it is you just created a worse problem Yeah, now you got bag and shit. Yeah, I find people that don't pick up their dogs poo to be some of the worst people to Ever live. That's right We call it. They're there Tommy Crooks is those people. Yeah, they're real Tommy Crooks Yeah, don're real Tommy Cox's ass. Oh, Tommy, you're done and done, Tommy.

God damn it, Tommy. All right, here we go. All right, so this was obviously very upsetting. There's been a lot of upsetting news. Here's a little bit more chaos for your day. Now, this man, probably, you know, once a week we always kind of have like one story always seems to be emailed more than others. Yes, and even with The assassination attempt this was this first one was the one that got sent in quite a bit Which is about a one mr.. Pancake now this takes place in god-loving Columbus, Ohio. What an incredible city. Surprisingly populated. Absolutely. Epstein's favorite place. That's where Jeffrey Epstein came from. Columbus, Ohio? Well that's where he lived for a long time with the billionaire from Victoria's Secret. Really? Yeah, yeah.

He loved Columbus. Interesting. Yeah. Oh yeah, oh yeah. And that was Columbus. Police officers, they took a man outside. He was in the far west side. He was in a strip mall. This man was arrested. His name is by the name of Matthew Pancake. And he looks like a person you'd call Mr. Pancake. He was arrested after he had thrown several objects through what appears to be a bar called roosters Downtown which is sadly they shattered the front window of roosters. Is it a gay bar? I Think it's more about chicken. Oh Cock no. Yeah, I just assumed it was like cock. No, no, no, no, but normally that's I feel like more so it's a shaft They have more it's more of a shaft based

Thing like roosters. Huh? Is there a big bar called roosters side stories lpotlgmail.com? If not, we're opening one. Oh, yes, definitely now, but then be broken to roosters There was nothing in there. They found video evidence of this man. He was wearing leopard print pajamas They found video evidence of this man. He was wearing leopard print pajamas Um, and then this man went into a pet land and did technically one of the more chaotic neutral things I've seen in a while in peewee herman style. He broke loose several animals from a local pet land Like I understand this. I actually did this once when I ate too much mushrooms. Yes, you did this You stole this is your I tried to free mine roommates dogs No

when I one time I I ate too much and I ate too much of mushrooms and then I went into my roommates room and I And I tried to free his dogs and I told him to go free and he was like leave us alone Yeah, I was like you're right. I'm right. I should have made an error and then I got fired from Hooters in the morning But got my job back. Hey Then they fired me for real later on the keys to get back on the horse Hey, and then they fired me for real later on the keys to get back on the horse Then the horse gets shot mad, but I'm fired for selling drugs. Hey, that's different. It's better think reason to get fired Yeah, cuz cool. That's a cool reason to get fired. Yeah now these dogs that came out like everything else was pretty sweet So these cocktail is a little cockatiel

That's cute And it was a couple puppies and then there's ferrets and some parrots that got released and they said one of The biggest problems is according to Columbus police sergeant Joe Albert He says you know one day you're running after a suspect the next day. You're running after ferrets and bunnies Yeah, but you notice they didn't shoot any of those ferrets some bunnies in the head we didn't you didn't mention He had hamsters in his pants. See you I was waiting. Okay. Oh, yeah That's the main reveal yeah, because when he finally found Matthew pancake, he wasn't working as an Oompa Loompa He was asleep near the big Lots. What you get? He had a big night. He had smashed up roosters

He had went and he did a full on revolution inside of pet land. And when she released all these, and it is kind of cute watching the cops fill the car with puppies. It's like, it does look like he's about to arrest them all for protesting. I don't know. But yeah, he went or he did a little mini sort of like, they said that straight up, he did not rob Anyone of these stores didn't steal any money But what he did is they discovered you free pets from a pet store is that robbing not according to Pocahontas And we know Pocahontas was wrong yeah, you know she's got too close to those raccoons. That's a wild animal Oh, yeah, of course you can't can't trust your wild animal no matter what how much pussy it eats now this fucking guy He went when he got him, but he pulled him

They arrested the guy and and put must probably be just one of those nights you could see him So he's asleep on a bench. He's wearing like, raver girl slash like, very gross airplane pajamas. Oh, when it said leopard pajamas, I don't know why I thought it was just like underwear. No, no, no, no. He's wearing a full on... It's a full up, yeah, a snuggie suit. He's dressed like a weeaboo. Yeah, he's dressed like he just got done playing Pokemon Go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so when they pulled him up, they which is hilarious that his pants were moving around And now you can see in this this body cam footage of the cops having to cut open his pants Because the gerbils running around inside of his pants now that's stealing that is the that is stealing What's the gerbils enter the pants or a or is that can you resell these gerbils? Unfortunately, I think a lot of these are they got to put them down. Yeah with the hammer They have to take it into the we had to take the gerbils into the fucking they gotta put it in a salad spinner They put a fireman in a salad spinner and it's only just cuz they can't be released after they've had

Smegma from a man named mr. Pancakes on them. They can't go back to the little girl a man named Mr. Pancakes on them. They can't go back to the little girls. You can't put them on sale? That's what I thought. I thought you could spray them with hose, you could wipe them down with a napkin, and then you could give it to a little kid. How long do these things live?

Durables? Yeah. But not much longer, I don't think. Right? He seems relatively confused. Man, he is on $10,000 bail. He is not going anywhere anytime soon. Well, it only costs a thousand to get him out on 10,000 bail. He is not going anywhere

Costs a thousand to get him out on yeah, yeah, he broke it. Oh, yeah, and he's broken to a lot of different places But yeah, I feel like we might need to can we make a drive to adopt these gerbils? Oh, I thought you're gonna adopt him No, no, no, I'm full up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean just I just whenever someone has a cut on their face You just lose credibility and I know that could happen to any one of us in any time of course But no he has a cut on his face because he broke open the glass to several establishments. He's covered in broken glass Yeah, and gerbils. Yeah, which makes them one of the more interesting people in Columbus I wonder why he chose the gerbils to put it. I know one of the cops was like Please tell me you don't have one of these gerbils inside of you. Oh yeah, he's probably be like, no, no, no,

I would never insult a gerbil like that. I do have a snake in my penis though. I think that he, it does seem to be a therosexual component. Because if I was him and I stole a bunch of gerbils, oh you know what it is? Eddie, it's not that they were in his pants. This is where the news, this is where in misinformation. They were inside the Snuggie.

Dude, misinformation is rife. And I know this for a fact. AI is making things more difficult to discern whether things are real or not. He was wearing pants underneath the Snuggie and the gerbils were in between. In the Snuggie. In between the Snuggie and the pants.

So it wasn't sexual, they were just in... There's nothing sexual about him putting these gerbils in his pants, which is weird that I have to say that. I mean, we actually, to be honest, Eddie, we don't know that. Mm-hmm. Because he might just like them running up and down his legs. Do you want to hear the cops' reaction? Oh, yes, can we please hear the police officer's reaction? Breaking news!

Left! Criminal damaging. Oh, God. There is a gerbil. Abusing animals. Oh, there are gerbils in there. Oh, s***. Yeah, definitely animal abuse.

What the heck? I got gerbils. What the heck? Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Multiple gerbils.

Aaaaah! They're having a great time. Aaaaah! The look on his face is just like Say you found the gerbils, huh? Please don't tell me you put a gerbil somewhere else And he did do it. They did ask me a little joke. They did a little ask You know, you know and he also did I guess you have to ask you do and he did this smart thing of not talking

Till he had a lawyer. Yeah. I think that's really important for you guys all to see what Matthew Pancake just did there was actually very good cop behavior. Because he didn't thrash, he didn't start pissing all over the police officers, he didn't attack them, he didn't spit them,

he didn't bite them. We don't know if he pissed or not. Whoa, that's his for him. Again, that's just liberty. Yeah. Because it's in his pants. And if he wants, it's the last protest we have. I guess so.

I guess so, Henry. All I'm left with is my dick and my balls. And my piss, sir. Yes, I don't need my dignity. I don't even need my voting rights. And then they take out the stick. Whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip. Oh, oh, oh, oh, thank you, Oh, thank you sir. Thank you. Oh

This next story is side stories Just premium. Yes, I love it It is the single reason why Gavin Newsom will probably never be president. Yeah But this is a really funny story. Now, he's a, God love San Francisco, love that town. Nudist tackle pirate after random attack on tourists in the Castro. Now, what I love is the video here,

which was posted as Rob pointed out, and this is just coincidentally by a man, by the name of Chris Watts He posted a video. Oh, it's not popular. I don't know if popular is the term. It's notorious Chris Watts murdered his family Oh, okay. Yes, he and he's super bad. He's back on the streets Yeah, actually I voted for him twice last election. No, no, no, he's I know he's not I voted for him twice last election. No, no, no, no, he's a jim. I know he's not, Rob.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's not a jim. He's very much a jim. Very much. Now, so this is what happened. So this was in the Castro, for those of you who don't know, in San Francisco, the Castro is a truly wonderful neighborhood. It's kind of like this, it is very famously

like the heart of the LGBT sort of Q family of San Francisco. So like the West Village. Yes, it's a beautiful place. And I just think it's hilarious. So Pete Sefera of San Jose. So like the West Village? Yes, it's a beautiful place. And I just think it's hilarious. So Pete Sefera of San Jose and Lloyd Fishback of San Francisco, totally nude, were just walking down the street. Now my main question I do want to say is-

Lloyd Fishback is a great name for a nudist. Oh, I absolutely love it. Anybody named Fishback who's openly applying SPF 50 to their nuts. Yeah, it's somebody that I like fish back dog front I Don't know more bear like I know these guys who are walking down July 2nd They were walking on the street nude as is there right? And they said that they spotted a crazy kind of pirate guy. Yeah. San Francisco, you just walk around naked? Oh yeah, buddy.

I didn't know that. Well, as you could tell by the way, they are just calmly walking down the street. No one cared. No one seemed to, no one, it didn't seem a reaction at all. Now this video you could see, it's kind of, it's insane. So it's a man in a pirate outfit with a blowtorch

who's attacking a tourist, and then he gets attacked by two nude men. And it's one of them, what's amazing about San Francisco, is that it's one of the only stories where the two nude men are the heroes. Yes. You know, it's not a big old just heap of a problem. So, as you can see also, there's a picture of the San Francisco standard of Peter Svara very happily showing his dick and balls in front of Phil's coffee, and I love him.

I don't love this guy, but there's footage! So's play this one. I wonder Phil's coffee feels about this I mean they like it. It's I think it's free advertising now. Um here we go so we could see right here. You can play the video There's just two men Just full dick out. It's walking on the street barista barista the torch. Yeah, it improvised blowtorch Barista, barista, steals the torch. Yeah, he had an improvised blowtorch. Whoa, he just runs into action. He's like Viggo Mortensen. No clothes down in the street.

Whoa. Fucking mixing it up on the gravel. Damn, dog. Fighting like that, dude? He's like Jean-Claude Van Damme, dude. And then he ran him off. Yeah. Honestly, the real hero's the barista. Oh, yes the barista disarmed somebody with a bulltorch

Yeah, yeah, by the way, I will say the nudists are getting the head the lead story here That's cuz they're naked. They did a good job And we distracted the crazy person with the blowtorch dressed like a pirate attacking this poor tourist who's never coming back to San Francisco. Well I just love how the guy, the tourist, is like, because you know, like, I've seen enough open dick that it really doesn't faze me. Like, I do think I would walk down the street to see naked, and I don't care, I don't really care. You saw a dick in Seattle. I'm naked, half the time. And so I look, it's like I feel like that wouldn't be anything where it's like, but that man, who probably was from some place where maybe he's not as used to seeing full naked people and a pirate with a blowtorch.

And then who does he look out for? Because I bet you at the point he's got, he's looking at butts, right? Because at first you're probably like, oh, who are those naked guys? Oh, what are they going to do? Oh, they're shopping. Oh, those guys know them. Oh, they are those naked guys? Oh, what are they gonna do? Oh, they're shopping. Oh, those guys know them. Oh, they're nice guys. Like you kind of want,

I could see him focused on the naked men a little bit being like, and that's how the pirate got the drop off. Oh yeah, he went, argh, he showed up, just like how pirates do. They always come in the cloud at night. They always make sure they're always sneaking on the clamoring,

climbing up the sides. No one sees that man's also shaved as hell which I do think is really brave especially for that amount of direct sun on his body I do hate that the nudist who didn't fight the guy is the one getting all the credit well yes he does say that

Peter Sfera who is the one in charge of the he is in the photo shoot where he is very brave, he's very strong. Honestly, he's pretty tight, he's in good shape. I don't know, certainly. And Sfera says, just so you know, it wasn't me. Actually. He yelled. It was Lloyd Fishback.

He was the one that dropped the ride on him. He's the one with the real fucking tube. And he went and he took that guy down. This guy, right? You can look at this guy, ooh, that's a smile. He looks like a tough a tough motherfucker. He's huge dude a huge dick. Yeah, I got a big dick. Yeah. Yeah, he went right at him Oh, yeah, and then he punched the fucking shit out of this guy. No very much. So oh, yeah. Yeah I know I just think it's interesting. He's kissing women Yeah, sure you can kiss whatever he likes. I know I just didn't know what was going on here

I think it's I think it's spreading it around. Yeah, I think they're having a good time. Yeah, just, he can kiss whoever he likes. I know, I just didn't know what was going on here. I think it's spreading it around. I think they're having a good time. Yeah, he likes everybody. Oh yeah, and I also like here is that the tourist who was attacked in the video has not been identified, but they do believe he was from Brazil. So maybe he is used to it. He's probably used to it.

There's lots of naked people in Brazil. And I do think that in the final thing with Pete Svera. He's probably just more surprised about how small their asses were. Yeah, oh, very, probably upset. Because they do, unfortunately, and this is not an insult to these men, they do suffer from the same disease I suffer from. And what is that again?

Inverse butt. Oh. Where there's not a lot to play with there. No. Right? Yeah, so I imagine he was- I got a tiny tush too. But that's probably why he was so distracted.

Yeah. Instead he was walking and he was like, shame. imagine I got a tiny tush too, but that's probably why he was so distracted Yeah, I said he was walking and he was like shame. What is all these tiny tushes? Not enough rice Well, I wonder if you see all those big butts all the time Then you see a tiny tush is that tiny tush turn you on no way No fucking way dude Fucking fool. I absolutely not when you're that used to it, because that's the different, you're used to awesome butt, and then all of a sudden you have to meet,

like this is the same butt that was on the back of King George III. Yeah. You know what I mean? That butt that we're looking at is our English inheritance. We wrote the Bible. Yes. That's the butt.

The butt on Peter Sparrow is a, that's the but the but on Peter Sparrow is that is a That's the main issue with the white DNA This guy is I mean for being a weird nudist. He does have a decent pot. You better be I Actually appreciate if you're gonna be naked this cameraman was having a blast. Oh, they are just having a full-on They're doing the photo shoot. Yeah, it's like genius. He's wearing a hat. Yes He is wearing a hat so he's not a complete nudist. Cause it's hard to cause you get your head gets sunburn. You get the sunblock. Yeah. You get sunburn on your head. Also, I actually kind of like the hat and glasses because it does give you something else to look at. Yeah. No, then I can look at the glasses because I have no problems. I have learned as a ring

on that hand. No, totally available. Oh yeah. oh yeah, they got an arrangement. I have learned over the years to not look at, like I've trained, and I think that's partially why I'm a good husband. I've trained my eyes to not look at cleavage automatically, right, like I can lock in with the eyeballs, right? You've got a tiny little tit there. But my thing is, and maybe you say this to Eddie, and I don't think this is anything about like,

oh, I'm gonna get into it. I don't think this is anything about like I'm gonna get into it. I Don't think it's got anything to do with my my proclivities But able to if I saw open income, it's just that was that was that was that word means I'm not sexually attracted to dick. Oh, no, but it'd be hard to not Like look. Oh no. But it'd be hard to not, like, look. Oh yeah, no. Always just cause I don't. I'm not attracted to murder,

but if someone gets murdered in front of me, I'm gonna look at it. Because, would you not say, like, cause if he's, cause they're flaccid, which I think is fine. But if a man. Of course. But they're walking around hard, that's worse. Right? Yes.

Is that legal? Yes. Can you walk around, all right, so you can walk around naked, but can you walk around hard? I think if you get hard, it's definitely frowned upon, but you know around all right, so you can walk around naked, but can you walk around hard? I think if you get hard it's it's definitely frowned upon But you know at the same time you can't be like that's where the water is it happens So you know you get the piss hard willy We've talked about this piss hard willy. I've heard many people say that's a folks tale. I don't know

What I sometimes when I pee back to normal This hard willy it's an early morning thing. Hey, we're all different. Yeah. Look at Peter Sparrow. But they stopped it and once again, they stopped an attack and once again, the nudists have made the streets of SF safe.

So just look for the, if you're looking, if you're out there and bad things happen. Not one cop was needed. Not a single one was even available so you Allow this to happen because these naked men look for the naked people. That's what I say Yeah, there's a problem. Yeah, if you're in trouble anyone who's nude will help you. Oh, yes very much So can't wait this guy skinned the shit out of his knees. I actually felt for him because just again, having your penis out and fighting.

Falling in the street, also getting a fight while completely naked, that's like, it's pretty impressive. No, it's Eastern promises. Yeah, this guy had clothes, the pirate, I mean he was a belly shirt, but he had clothes on the pirate. He should have won, but he lost. Of course, no he lost, because you know why? He didn't have heart. Yeah, he's all fucked up. I'm sure And pirates and neither boys and issue. It's too far inland. He was he should have been if this was on the beach Mm-hmm, they'd be fucked. Yeah, and he got planked All right, Romania's killing 500 Thank you. I was looking for one. All right. Romania is killing 500 bears.

Now why? I feel like Romania is where all bears come from. The brown bears in Romania. Someone, a 19 year old Taurus sadly was killed by a bear a little while ago in Romania. And now the Romanian government is going to kill 500 bears to quell the problem. I just don't understand. Did you just sort of set an example?

They said there's too many bears and that's why they're killing people. But why are they? They are because we know in America there's actually truly very few bear attacks. Yes. That is very, very uncommon for a bear to hurt a human Yeah, do we know why that this could have happened because to be and I don't want a victim blame but I do believe that You probably have to fuck up to get killed by a bear

I mean she was hiking in the woods with her boyfriend and she on her period. Um, that is not in the article henry Was she on her period? I'm gonna say yes. Does that make you feel better or worse? Better. Good. Now the bear... So the bear like straight up chased him down and like the bear threw this woman's body 120 meters.

That's more than... Into a valley which is as far as the shooter almost Which is insane? I know it's a crazy thing to like relate But that's how close the shooter got you saying there was able to throw a human the same distance Which is not good. It's not good doesn't bode well for the secret service Yeah, but I would it's very that's wow. Do you think he can replace Aaron Rodgers? Well not anymore cuz they killed him over the past two decades Aaron Rodgers. Yes, the Romanian Saw Aaron Rodgers in the woods. They killed him because they thought he was a brown bear

No saw Aaron Rodgers in the woods and they killed him because they thought he was a brown bear. No, they're like, he's like, I'm a packer. I'm a packer. But no, over the past two decades, bears have killed 26 people and severely injured 274 others over the past 20 years in Romania. Can I honestly ask what about having too many bears causes them to be more aggressive? Like honestly, I think it's like whenever like, or so the Florida alligator, there was no What about having too many bears causes them to be more aggressive? Like honestly. I think it's like whenever like, or so the Florida alligator, there was no attacks for a long time while it was endangered. Now that it's like almost not endangered anymore, there's more attacks because there's more alligators equals there's going to be more attacks.

Oh, so you're just talking about odds. Numbers, yeah I'm just talking straight numbers. But in America, don't we have a shit fuck of bears and we don't actually, we don't have that many bear attacks in this country? We don't have that many bear attacks in this country We don't have that many bear attacks, but they do have about the government the government how were the Romanian government? Romania is a weird place. It is a weird place But I just think the Bears are a little different over there and they kill a lot more Maybe they're listening to Andrew Tate. He's there. Yep. Is he a new prison? He's doing something

He's there. Yep. Is he in there? He's in there. He's in there. He's doing something. Whatever happened to him? He's hanging out in Romania for, hopefully about to be sentenced for human trafficking. Or attacked by a bear.

I mean, he probably would. What if they're like, Andrew Tate, you have to, your sentence is you have to kill these 500 bears. I mean, that's what, he would like that too much. He'd like that too much. Because I feel like it's sad. Killing bears is sad. Oh, absolutely. It's very sad. I love bears. Bears are one of it's sad. Killing bears is sad. Oh, absolutely.

It's very sad. I love bears. Bears are one of my favorite animals. They're my top three. Yeah. Well, brown bears are more dangerous than black bears. Black bears are like puppies, but they still attack people. Yes, they do.

We talked about it recently. One found that woman and killed her. Yes, but you can, a lot of times you can shoo away a black bear. Like you can scare a black bear. Yeah, you can just like wave a bell at it and it runs away. And I know a brown bear, you're supposed to act dead. You're supposed to play dead for a brown bear. Yeah, and grizzly bears are much more dangerous than all of them.

And the way I do it every single time, Joe Biden style, face down, ass up, it's time to get that fuck. No, give it to me Mr. Gore. Give it to me Mr. Gore, let me be clear, make me gay to win. I have a little more bear news. Can I get into it real quick? Of course, you know, I love Disney World. I can't help it. No. Yeah, he likes it. Disney He's not I would not put you in the Disney adult Other things that I do. Yeah, you just like Disney. Well, I think you feel you'll enjoy it. Yeah, I enjoy it It's a good time. It's made that be good, but

Disney World the country bear jamboree One of my favorite of course attractions. Yeah, it's getting's a good time. It's made that be good, but Disney World the Country Bear Jamboree One of my favorite of course attractions. Yeah, she's getting drunk I love singing bears these bears hanging out having a party they recently oh my god this guy You kept you were doing the Country Bear Jamboree, and we're still having the pictures of the nudists No, no, no, oh, she's a bear. I don't know. He's like whatever's between an otter and a bear man They're just some dudes that put my back here. Wolfshame. When we talked about Scruff, too.

Scruff, well, last week we kinda came back up. It is mostly for hairier men, I found out. Scruff is enough. Okay. The Disney World, so they redid the Country Bear Jamboree, all new songs, they wanted to spice it up a little bit, which I don't like, because I like the old soundtrack. But not only, when they did that,

people are upset because they lost, they got rid of a famous bear. Liver Lips McGraw, no longer. Now, why would they get rid of Liver Lips McGraw? They said it was offensive to alcoholics. I love the idea that we're so worried about offending people. And we're gonna offend the fucking. I barely, he barely,

I know that I sang bare and barely, but he barely has pants on. He barely has. So they're just saying he looks like a dick out, disturbing person that would have an airplane come down earlier. Yeah, and liver lips is like, they say it's like a term for someone who's like overly drunk all the time.

Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's fun. He sang a really good song. I love the song he sang. What was the song? My Woman Ain't Pretty. Do you know the song? Can you sing it? My Woman Ain't Pretty, but she's short and don't curse none and I ain't pretty either. I don't know. It's great. It's about being ugly and loving your wife.

I'll always remember when we were on Mushrooms and you took over the country bear jamboree But they're not that one the one at knots Barry farm. Oh, yeah when you went on stage and then you just wouldn't leave Yes, remember that and you were like, oh, yeah, we were all like Screaming a one-man band. Oh, yeah, they couldn't make you leave. Yeah. No, I could we got the song. Yes They couldn't make you leave. Yeah, no, I couldn't. Oh, wait, we got the song. Yes, oh yeah, that woman ain't pretty. Yeah, yeah, let's play it.

In tribute to Liver Lips McGrawl, because, McGrawl, because you know what? Do the Tex Ritter version so it's less chance we'll get in trouble. Oh, do you think we're gonna get sued? I mean, it's Disney songs. So if we do the Tex Ritter version. Oh, never mind, no Disney.

Do My Woman Ain't Pretty by Tex Ritter, please. That is the, that's the version that they took it from. My Woman Ain't Pretty, Tex Ritter, please That is the that's the that's the version that they took it from my woman ain't pretty Tex Ritter Whoa, is that like uh, this is a great one. It's actually kind of this one goes out to you liver lips They changed his name to Romeo my woman ain't pretty but she don't swear none. That's right It's a good song by the way Woman she's got me whatever I do we both agree She ain't pretty but I ain't too thing. She's like Woman ain't pretty but she don't swear

I wonder why they cut this out of the Disney ride. I I wonder why they cut this out of the Disney ride. I wonder through. I wonder why they decided that sloppy drunk bear screaming my woman ain't pretty. Didn't make the cut. I don't know why. I love you liver lips. We all do. We all do. The only honest bear. Yes. And that old fucking production. Good lord, you know. Big Al's still there though, so it's all good. Well good. Honestly, I do, I feel bad for you Eddie.

You're just going to have to bring liver lips McGrawl representation each time you go by getting absolutely shit house hammered. I know, I'm just going to go and sing the song real loud. You want me pretty ass nose sparing ass. I know just gonna go and sing the song real loud Thought we got rid of that bear All right, here we go, it's time for some listener emails My god the emails are incredible You love these emails. I do.

You make me so happy. Because they're doing it. You know what I mean? I get to see that. Let the laughter roll in. What are people talking about? What is the first one? This is about a Banshee encounter.

Now before we go into it, a Banshee... It's an Irish, essentially cryptid folklore creature that is supposed to denounce bad news. I just thought it was a naked screaming woman. Oh, it is. Okay. Oh, don't you worry, friend. That ain't changed.

That ain't changed since the good Lord popped us out of the well. Alright, a banshee encounter. Let's hear about it. I wanted to share a crazy story that my girlfriend's father has told me many times over the years That he swears is true This event took place in the mid to late 80s in a rural area of Tennessee during an intense winter season My girlfriend's father was living near a dense Forested area at the time was out for a walk to enjoy the recent snowfall when you heard a woman's voice somewhere in the distance

You walk towards the voice which sounded like it was saying recent snowfall when he heard a woman's voice somewhere in the distance. He walked towards the voice, which sounded like it was saying, Come here! Over here! Over here! Something in effect. When he finally spotted a woman in the distance, he immediately noticed that she was not dressed appropriately for the weather. She was barefoot in the snow, wearing a thin dress and no coat, winter clothing of any kind. My girlfriend's dad was freaked out and began to experience intense and unexplainable fear at the situation. Nevertheless, he shouted to ask her if she was alright. At this point, she

started saying his name, which scared the shit out of him since he had never seen her before and hadn't said his name. She started repeating it and saying, Come here, girlfriend's dad's name. Come here, girlfriend's dad's name. Come here, come here, come here. He did what I would do, and he booked it the fuck out of there. As he started running, he heard her laughing, and the laughing eventually turned into loud

screaming, shrieking noises. He made it back to his home and told his roommates he was living with at the time, who insisted it was probably some drugged out hippie, but he swears it was something supernatural. Seems that the dating scene has always been this way. And you gotta be careful out there. By single people, all right? Just because you're available.

Is it me or is it like, it totally, you know, it lost all validity when he's like, his roommates. Snap. Once his roommate snaps and he snaps you out of any ghost story. All right, this is, oh yeah. I'm a senior project manager for a very large international restoration company.

I've always been the PM who has taken on all the dead body cleanups as it doesn't bother me like it does some. Once you learn to deal with the smell, fix vapor rub on the nose and a fresh set of clothes as the smell leeches in, it's not that bad. I've dealt with countless amounts of body cleanups from single-family homes to multi-story buildings where the fluids have gone down to units below. One that sticks with me the most is when a gentleman who wasn't found for nearly two and a half weeks and passed away in his recliner chair. Any furniture or bed is always the best case as it can absorb a lot of the fluids. Okay. Isn't that nice? Yeah. The team of techs I had decided to

tarp the chair completely after the body was removed and take it outside. At this point, they hosed off the tarp of all the leaking goo into the front courtyard in front of all of the other unit owners. So that's what it was. Yeah. So they just sprayed a bunch of human goo into an apartment building. It's hard to rent.

Yeah. I mean, what else are they going to do with it? I don't know. Bag's hard to rent. Yeah I mean what else are they gonna do with it? I don't know bag it. Leave it in the street Next to right in the middle of Knoxville, Tennessee. Yeah That's what you do Um, here we go and this one last one, this is a ghost tour. Oh finally while visiting jefferson city, missouri for a night prison ghost tour, I had an intense paranormal experience.

I am a die-hard skeptic, so I had no anxiety going in, plus I have experience visiting other prisons such as the one in Philadelphia. I know that famous one. There's a big famous... Eastern State Penitentiary. Yeah, so I always wanted to go to. Apparently, the ghost tours there are incredible. I would love to go.

Yeah, I'd love to. Additionally, I have no underlying health issues, I'm an a fit active person. The tour started around 9 p.m. and my friend and I were in good spirits. We toured Genpop, Intake, Showers, the Yard. Next we did Lights Out in Solitary Confinement without incident. Then we went to Death Row, which is where the story starts. My stomach started to get anxious walking up to the building and I was instantly exhausted. When we got to the row of cells and lined up against the walls for lights out, my condition declined at a rapid pace. Within two minutes, a deafening static noise resulting in an intense headache occurred while my friend kept mentioning how uncomfortable she was.

Then, what I can only describe as an invisible force dragged me to the ground by pouring all of my energy out Starting at my head to my feet resulting in a slow crinkle to the ground my friend and the tour guide Dragged me out while I dry heaved and poured sweat along with other another pair of ladies who claimed to see a shadow entity The moment I stepped outside the symptoms disappeared and I was fine, though a little embarrassed for being that person on the tour. Turns out I was standing at the spot of a murder on the road, along with there being a history of curly haired blondes being touched by a shadow entity. I am a curly haired blonde. So as a lady, it's very interesting.

I find that very very very interesting because I I do think that prisons Unlike cemeteries or other places like that has to truly be some of the more haunting environments in the car unless someone gets murdered in A cemetery. I don't know why it would be haunted a Cemetery is a place of rest. Yeah, normally by the time you were laid to rest in a cemetery if you were let's say there is a real rule about ghosts being involved about their energy Being kind of printed on an area because something traumatic happens where it's like at a cemetery. They're finally asleep. Yeah Gettysburg that cemetery it's because that was the place I became a cemetery Yes, yeah, that's why but yeah, if it we used to just be land and then it was a cemetery then it's fine

I think it's fine. Yeah, well, I feel you know, what do you think? Do you think this is real? It's happened who knows who knows I find it Well, I've heard many of these because I've done many ghost tours and this it is common if you are going through haunted areas When we did Edinburgh, there's like a place where they talk about an open field essentially concentration camp and that was set up in the 1600s Where prisoners were locked outside to die to starve to death in the elements and then there was a place There's a little crypt in there if you walk in they say that people do get attacked they pass out people have been scratched pushed and I know it's fucking weird in there do people who get attacked by I know it's fucking weird in there. Do people who get attacked by spirits often pass out?

It is common. It's something in the body they would have some kind of weird physical reaction. All right. So who knows? But hey, we're just here in 2024. Yeah, so this is actually good advertisement for the prison tour in Jefferson City, Missouri.

Yeah, I would love to go. Yeah, that's very good advertisement. Honestly, it could be somebody from the company. Which I don't mind, because that's how you make it. If you write a good enough story, we will help you with your lie. Just make it work. It's a make it work moment.

That's why I've loved mine. All right, guys. That's it. That's it. It is gonna be, is it Brat Girl? Brat House? Brat House? Charlie XES? Yes.

Brats. Brats are everywhere. We got them. Ooh, and Spankum. Brat Girl Summer. Brat Girl Summer, right? So love every day, knowing for a fact that we are gooning ourselves

to the election. Ooh. Yay. I'm getting hard, I'm getting hard, but I'm not coming, because that makes me laugh. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, and makes me love the fact that my penis is hard all day. Isn't that great? Yeah, yeah, great way to end the show.

I really learned a lot today. I really learned a lot and I think that we can offer a balm to the people of America by telling them what I firmly believe. It'd be a balm. Yes, a balm. I just wanted to make sure we spelled that out. Yes. That, uh... Me thinks everything gonna be Iree.

Iree is the way to... I think is the word of the year. I think that as long as we all just chillax and smoke a bone. Oh, absolutely. If you got them, smoke the hell out of them. Hog's leg, man. Big fat. Tell Debra you like her.

Yeah. This is the time. Today's the day. And if Debra says, I don't like you back, never talk to Debra again. Fuck Debra. No, not fuck Debra. No.

But I mean, stay away from Debra. Move on. She wants you out for life. Move on. To another Debra. Deborah no not fuck that no, but I mean stay away from Deborah once you Do another Deborah there's a thousand Deborah's out there you could choose any person That's and I also remember these if you're lonely out there if you're if you're stinky and you dress in hunting gear to go To school and you don't know what to do Listen, I mean this Somebody will fuck you if you just try you just gotta get good at a single thing You some people don't lose their virginity to the very old absolutely very very old 75 76

River sucked a 75 year old virgin dick now. I haven't yet what it does is gives you something to cry about to your therapist, your family. It's going to picture on.com slash last month on the left to give us money to see us talk. Got a tick tock and Instagram at LP on the left into social media. It helps awareness of us. Side stories is coming to all the places. We're going to Chicago, September 13th, improvise. No, the park West. We're going to Chicago September 13th improvise. No the park west We're gonna make it up. We're gonna be there There's still tickets available Philly sold out sold out sold out save us some of those some of that meat that y'all stole Dude if we have any of those listeners got some of that illegal ass fucking me throw it in the freezer bring it to the show

We'll have a good time. Come on man, launder your meat at the live show. I looked, I went and looked, you know people are fucking reselling tickets to that show for $200, what fucking bricks? That sucks. Isn't that crazy? I wish there was something that we, like honestly, I know that we're like, we're stuck because of the promoter,

all this fucking Live Nation shit, that's wild. And that's nuts, don't give them that money. Don't. It's not worth it. Don't. It's not. No, it should not be that's nuts. Don't give them that money. Don't it's not don't Know it should not be that much money. Yes, make that person fucking eat those tickets cuz that's fucked up. Yes. Well Well, I'm like sick time. I do want people to come it's sold out, but I cargo There's plenty of regular price tickets come see us there September 13th at the Park West and the way you can find that out is going to last podcasts on the left

Dot-com and they can't see us on next week. This is another thing We've got a little message on our socials and I just want to I'll do a little extra messaging Know that we have put out a call to people that are holding tickets to the Australian dates Yes, we are going to be doing a livestream just for you next Tuesday. You're still coming. Oh, we are coming! Yeah, we're coming. We are coming to Australia.

We're very much coming to Australia. I'm sorry it's taken four years livestream. It's a special, we're doing something nice for you because we feel so guilty about how long it's taken us to get out there. Yes, it's like a Q&A. There are some tickets still available. Oh yes.

So if you wanna check out the livestream, go get one of those tickets, you have a week. You got a week. You got a week to go. There are some tickets still available. Oh yes. So if you want to check out the live stream, go get one of those tickets. You have a week. You got a week. You got a week to go get one of those tickets and then you can check out the live stream that we're gonna do before we come out there. We're leaving.

Our first show's August 6th in New Zealand. Can't wait. We can't wait. We're so fucking excited. I've never been out to either one of those places. You're gonna love our show. Can't wait to smoke your weed. Dude, I mean, don't say that.

I mean, I don't know how that's going to happen, Eddie. I'll find it. I'll fucking start smoking the grass grass. I'm going to give a shit and find out what you guys got. The key is you just say it with your lips. You go. Yes, that's how we do it. Yes, that's on Patreon.

Yeah, no, yeah, I know. I know I'm not going to bring on Patreon. Yeah, I know. I'm not going to bring any weed. No, we're not bringing weed. I'm not bringing weed. All right, because you don't want to go to the kangaroo court. Oh my god, those motherfuckers. Koala court sounds great.

Kicks you around the dick. All right, guys. Hell Satan. Hoop a goo goo game. Oh, you see it on YouTube. Go check it out. We did the Hoop a Goo Goo game premiere last week. It was a special event. It's going to be coming bi-weekly to the LPN TV twitch channel in September, but go watch the replay

It was so much fucking fun We had me and Amber of course and then Billy Wayne Davis Jackie Zabrowski Holden McNeely MJ Neffel and the chat so great were the stars they shout out a special shout out to Eric our LPN TV twitch guru who really just put that whole fucking thing together and it was beautiful. Yes. I mean, we got great friends. We're going to be bringing more people outside the network onto Hoopa Goo Goo, which I'm really excited. Yeah. If you want to, if you watch it and then let us know who would be a good guest, because I'd love to have them, whether they'd

be a judge or a potential murdered contestant. They're not murdered. They're killed. I love that. All right, Hail Satan. Hail Romanian bears that live. Save the bears. Save the bears.

If you're in Romania, go save a bear. Yeah, kiss them. Have sex with a big hairy man.