Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Squatch Watch 2026

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's BIGGEST stories - the boys react to the 2026 Oscars, THEN - Bigfoot wanders his way back in the news as recent flap leaves researchers scrambling, Hazardous Meatloaf recalled from Costco across the states, Tight lipped treasure hunter released after 10 years in prison over hidden gold, Pennsylvania rest stop poker beatdown-scheme lands 7 men behind bars, Listener E-Mails, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Was it huge?

No, small. We're rolling. I mean, they had to come out a little pussy. Yeah, of course. That's the thing. I do. Is that how we start? Do doggies have C-sections?

D-sections. D-sections. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eddie, I just want to say, you know, we had a absolutely fantastic weekend because you can hear my voice is destroyed Ed's voice is destroyed

I'm a little better now yeah but my voice is destroyed I was really bad during the show yes we had but we had so much fun in Urbana after our indie show great show in indie but

Urbana was special big towns with things to do and people to talk to but I seriously there are times though when Eddie and I are out that I almost feel like Magneto

where I have not control but I'm using a man's mutant-like ability to empathize with pigs to sort of weaponize it to find good pork sandwiches

I know what I'm doing dude but it is you have this ability you empathize with pigs you love pigs I love them you will probably talk to a pig yeah but you also they're smarter than toddlers but you seem to know instinctually then also where the good pork is.

Well, all right, here's the thing with delicious pork and food in general. Things that are loved taste better. Does that make sense? Like, if you love it and you treat it well, it is more delicious after you kill it. That's why Jeffrey Dahmer kissed him first. Exactly. Welcome to side stories. My name is Henry Sibrowski.

I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. And we had, I mean, that's why I even wanted to said this is because, like, we'll just do Uncle Corner up top. Yeah. Exceptional pork sandwich. It was really good. Well, I had an eggplant par. Yeah, he was healthy. I was healthy.

Yeah, he was healthy. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. Because everyone, that's what you know about an eggplant parm. That's the first thing that comes to my head. Oh, the light health dish. It's too much today. Oh, I don't eat all that meat. I need something that is only oil.

Well, I was going to get the Italian sandwich. And then she said that the eggplant parrne was particularly good there. And she was correct. She was. And that was, what was the name of the place again? It was. Balderado's Porquetta and Sicilian sausage in Urbana, Illinois. Shout out to you, fuckers.

And we also asked for recommendations. And guess what you guys did? Not a single one of you told us to go to Balderatas. I had to find it on my own. We had to find that on our own. I'm such a good sandwich, Hunter. You have no idea. That's what I'm saying.

I'll find a good sandwich in a fucking podcast. pile of dead dogs. Yeah, I feel like I'm using like a psychic Native American to help me find oil. You know what I mean? Like, that's how it feels. It feels like I'm using a kind-hearted, empathetic ability to point it towards destruction.

And I don't mind it because I win. I got the porketa sandwich because I'm not a fucking cuck. It's hard, too. I got to tell you, because, like, Henry, if you're on the road with Henry, Henry's yelling. Where's the food? Why, it's not fast enough?

Find it faster. We're making a left now. No, fast, fast, go. But I found Balderata's Porchetta and Sicilian sausage. And boy, oh boy, do I love you Italian Midwest ladies? Those Italian Midwest ladies, I wanted to fold them up. I wanted to put them in a basket and I wanted to take them home with me. I wish we could borrow them at least for a month.

But yeah, just go check that out. We probably could borrow them for a month. No one would know they were missing. No, I mean, there's nothing there. No one's there. Balderatas is there. And if Balderatas goes down, that whole fucking town collapses. No, Balderatus comes home.

Balderatas comes to California. You're right, but yes, you guys go really good work out there, except for those that did not recommend it. And that's where you failed us. And I will never forgive you for that. But we're going to come back to Turabana, because that's how good the show was. The Lincoln Square Mall was weird.

Well, that's the whole thing. We're going to leave that there. That was just like a garage sale that was the disguised. to some ball. Yeah, yeah, but that's for them. And again, we made fun of that to their faces, and that's special, and we only do that on side stories live, and you can go and get tickets for that

on last podcast on the Left.com. Because Eddie and I, we do come up with material, we talk about fucking macabre shit, but we also we will absolutely eat in your town and roast the living fuck. That's right. In April, we're going to be in Anchorage, Fairbanks, and Lexington,

so come check us out. Lexington, Kentucky. And that's going to be good. I can't wait for that one. So this week, I just want you to know, up top, we're not going to hit an update today because let's all, let's take a break. You know what I mean? We deserve a mental health break.

We all did it. I was watching and stuff. We're going, we are going to talk about... It's a lot. It's going away. No, no, no, no. We are going to talk about the Italian Trump next week, hopefully. We also have a bunch of other stories to go deep into there's so much still going. It's still there. Don't worry about it. We did,

I get to say, we're not doing an update here. sure. But we did get to tell our driver all about the Epstein files on the way from Urbana back to Indianapolis and we scared him. We also got to tell you remember that anonymous married couple. We met

at the rooftop bar. Oh yeah. I told them all about the Epstein files. So don't worry. We are hitting the streets. We're directly delivering Epstein information to the people. Yeah. And that chick she told you, she was a real

nurse. Oh, trauma nurse. Trauma And then she told you about shrimping? Oh, well, that was one of my favorite things. So I told her about the Epstein files. No. And she told me about shrimping, which she learned from her nurse Instagram, which was like she follows a bunch of nurses.

And shrimping is when you are a man, and you come into a woman's ass. And then you suck the come out of the ass. So it's not felching, it's shrimping. It's not like Bubba. It's not Bubba. It's not Bubba gump shrimping.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On football, I mean, you can. You can eat shrimp. Yeah. And do it. I think it should be called krill in it. Oh, that'd be cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cute.

Cerman's closer to krill than shrimp. This is why financially, yeah, it just says to suck on someone's toes is according to urban dictionary, but not. I thought what this nurse showed me. No, no, no, no. She had a whole video about it. And she was on a staycation with her husband. It was one of those things where it was like, she clocked Henry and was like, I think he needs to know about shrimp. And I was like, this woman.

knows how to read a fucking room. Yeah, dude, I've never experienced. I was so happy. But also because, I mean, I led with the Epstein files. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And it really says the temperature. It really does. Because, but again, we didn't do it on the show this week because we did it to person, P2P.

We're out there grassroots, ruining people's nights. Because, like, that was a thing. Our stupid driver even did the thing. He was a nice guy, fine guy, right? He might be listening. We plugged the show. We actually subscribed to the show. I texted him to the show.

So he's probably listening. Hey, Jim. Jim, how you doing? I'm going to Jim. But Jim did he say, hey, oh, you know, I'm a bit of a Trump fan, right? And then we're like, unfortunately, he punched a 13-year-old in the head while she was trying to suck his dick. And then he was like, ugh. And I was like, go check it out. You know what I mean? Because we did a whole thing where we first said, like, you know, like, we went and we softballed because first he asked you, like, what are your jokes on AOC?

And we're like, you're sexually obsessed with her. Yeah. And then we then said, like, I don't know why you're sexually upset with her. I think she's beautiful. I do think AOC is beautiful. I also just like, she doesn't really enter my mind quite a bit, and she's also, whatever. Right now she's doing her job, as she needs to do. But these, he was then kind of like to ask about the Clinton, so he was obviously kind of snowballing.

And then we got to do, which was awesome, say like, well, obviously Hillary Clinton's a villain, Bill Clinton's a villain. We believe that they should be probably in the hague, right? Like, we couldn't give a fuck. Kill him. And that's what we kept saying. We're like, we don't give a fuck. Like, we don't care if you arrest our people. They're not our people.

None of these people are our people. You know who's my people? Ed. Yeah, I liked Henry. Rob's cool. Rob's my people. I like Ernie, my new dog. Yes. You know, I think he's cool. And that's about it.

Julie's on the level. Julia, Natalie, I claim Natalie. That's it. It's the only people I will claim as like representative of me. I would fight to keep you from prison. I like Holden more than Bernie Sanders. Yeah, it's the truth. That is the fucking truth.

I admire Bernie Sanders. I'm friends with Holden. You know, it's distinctly. different. I don't care. I couldn't care what happens at Bernie Sanders. When he dies, unfortunately, I'm not going to shed a tear. I'm going to be like, replace it with somebody else. Who gives a fuck? They're replaceable. Who gives a shit about a senator?

Men. But how would you feel if Bernie Sanders got Hammer Maniac? I will say, honestly. I think that would hit me hard. I'm only saying... I think I'd be upset if he got Hammer Maniac. Only as a true crime ghoul, this is the only reason why I'm even saying this, I'm just saying that it would be...

I'd be great for the show. Fantastic for the show. It'd be great for the show. So that is my main... If Bernie got Hammer Man. maniac. It would be great. You're going to turn me in the soup? How? What is happening? I like soup. I drink soup, but you're going to turn me in the soup? What is happening to elderly man's heads? How are they so thin? How are they so weak in this work show? One percent of the head is that. Give it away. All the thing is, one of the old, stuck with them all be in a hammer.

But no, that's, we don't hope. We don't wish that. We don't wish that. But it'd be good for us. Yes. Just because it's good for us doesn't mean we want it to happen. Just like, Trump getting elected. Great for our taxes. But I didn't want it to happen. Did not even that great for our taxes, Eddie. It isn't? No.

Fuck. Yeah. I wanted before we move on, we kind of disagree on this, so we don't need to spend too much time on it, but I do want to give a shout out to horror representing at the Oscars this year. Fucking sinners, winning, weapons, winning.

Two people we interviewed, had big wins at the Oscars. Big fucking deal. Last podcast on the left, Bush, baby. We did. Bump, dude. Cooleer. Sinners was nothing until us. You fucking owe us, dude.

You fucking owe our goddamn asses. Where's my chunk of? I want one of the arms. Yeah, ugly stepsister, got a nom? Really good. Very cool. Frankenstein? I didn't like it. He was fine. But I'm happy it was nominated. It was beautiful. It was very gorgeous. It was beautiful. It was very silly to me, though.

Young Jacob Allardie, he was very good at that. He didn't have to talk a lot. Which I think really worked for him. He talked plenty. He did. He did. But it's still... Frankenstein talked way more than he should have. But he did a good job. Frankenstein's monster.

The monster. I thought he did a good job. I thought Jacob Bellardi was fine. I am sort of looking forward to the bride. Bride looks cool, even though everyone says it sucks. Whatever. It looks awesome. I'll take a bunch of drugs.

Nope. But, you know, like this is the Oscars, the only thing, obviously, I'm slightly hesitant about about horror getting too far into the Oscars world, only just because I don't want all of that money to destroy the beautiful ecosystem that is inside of the horror world. I think no matter what, people will make $3 horror movies for all of time. They better. The weather, whether the

I'm trying to. I got a bunch of, I got every word. I'm trying to. We're all going to make one. Yeah. So I think it was a great year for horror. Last year was too with the substance. I'm all about this. Fucking give it to horror. I'm here for it. I just think it's awesome that amazing filmmakers

are also bringing an elevated world of horror out to everybody. Amy Madigan getting it. Yes. Oscar was fucking amazing. Can't believe that weapons was... I mean, weapons was also a wonderful cultural moment.

Yeah. And just... It is nice to see. It just feel like culture in a way... I don't know if it's healing. I don't think it's healing, but it's just good to see people getting murdered and rewarded for it. Yep.

But that is... In fantasy. In fantasy. So, in all of this news, we have a lot going on, Eddie. I've got a question before we get started. Please. I'm just very curious on what your thoughts are.

I don't even know what to deal with this. I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. Is Netanyahu alive? Ooh. I can't. I have not seen proof he's alive. I don't know what to feel. I'm very curious.

These videos that I've seen of him, that they've ever least, they do not seem real. I feel we might be. In a world of AI. This is the world of conspiracy theory that we are now heading towards. I know. Some view.

I'm in too deep. You've done this to me. I know. And there is some, right now, there is some chatter that Benjamin Netanyahu might have been killed in a raid or died normally. He's an old man. And that now he is sort of being replaced by what seems to be AI video. Now, that's a massive conspiracy theory. It's a massive conspiracy that we don't have proof.

No major news network or source is reporting on this. Now, the problem is that he does this Jerusalem Cafe video, right? Like they're saying, oh, if you look, but you can see the fact that his ring disappears. And the coffee doesn't move. No. And this just doesn't seem like, I don't know if this AI video is like a distraction, like not put out by them and to like make us confused. Like, I don't know what's going on. None of us do.

I don't believe anything anymore because I got caught by the Kislein Maxwell video in Canada. And the Epstein one when he was in terror. Yeah, I got caught by that too. So I don't even fucking know. I think that they are comfortably. uh in a world of smoke and mirrors and that we are not going to know for a while yeah i would actually bet at this point that he's alive i think he's alive because they are but that does not mean he's not hurt or sick or something and so i would think that if he was dead they would probably

that that would be pretty big deal it'd be a huge fucking and we're not yet at the point. We have yet to see it yet. I don't know. Because we're not yet at the full, which government's going to be the first to hardcore try to sell us that their guy isn't dead yet. I mean, we haven't, we haven't decided. We haven't gotten to there yet. So I don't know whether or not they are going to be the first. I'm not going to put it past their current administration, seriously, to be the forefront on where we might, we might game this to extend this out because we can't say Iran killed him fucking first thing out. We really can't.

Because it's going to make every, it's going to stop the war early. I don't think it would. I don't know what it's going to do. It probably escalated. There's no goals for the war. There's no, it's all just total utter chaos. Just keep talking to not talk about the fact that the president's a pedophile. Yes. So it doesn't matter. We're here. Now we are just kind of ripping the band-aids off of a bunch of stuff and

they're just letting it fly and we're going to just receive the end bit of it. I'm also going to say, staying within the world of conspiracy theory that Cash Patel can go fuck himself and trying to threaten California with this fake shit about the Iranian drones attacking us. It is literally just making shit up to scare people. Yes, it doesn't know.

He's not, he wants nothing. He has no, he has nothing in his head. He literally is an empty vessel just like everybody else inside of the the administration right now. He does not care about a single fucking thing besides social media. Yeah. So he is not trying to catch anybody. Nancy Guthrie's fucking salsa right now while he was

partying over there with the soccer team. I can't believe he has to find this woman. Yes. So she's fucked. That lady was fucked. He didn't even care about that. That's gone. That story's gone. And so another failure of his, every single thing that he's doing is a failure

and he is now trying to scare California out of spite. The same thing. Now he attached J.D. Vance to quote-unquote look for fraud in California. Again, it's all just like weird. It's what they did in Minnesota. The fucking in order to attack them.

But what Henry's talking about in case you don't know, it kind of was swept under the rug. Because it's fake. Because it was fake. It came out. There was a news report that Iran was going to fucking hit South, Southern California with drones. That might have been stolen from a place inside of America.

That was one theory. And they were like a ship. deported just out in the Pacific Ocean and they were going to come and attack us. And then the FBI said that and then they had no evidence to support it. They just trying to scare us. And then guess what? We are in a surveillance state in which we have total space dominance. You mean to tell me that United States of America that has the biggest military force in the galaxy cannot see from space that there are drones.

haphazardly being flown at us from 9,000 miles away to a landlocked area. Like, you have to be fucking kidding me. I'm sorry. So you check? I'm sorry.

It made me particularly angry. It's a little bit late, but I should have done this a while ago. What was it? Oh, the pamphlets? Yeah. Oh, the pamphlets? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he'll come up. It's been, it's been in her heart. Yeah, it's been a while. It's been, fucking. I've got allergies. There it is. It's fine.

You got allergies. I have a scratchy throat. That's why. I am like this right now. I have my sinuses are acting up on me. Say something nice about Cash Patel. You can do it. I'll go first. I'll go first.

He's a fun person to hate. See? You can find something. He has nice skin. It's not horrible. It's not horrible. See? See? I just... Sometimes you just gotta do that.

Barely cut. I barely cut the ridge this time. That was tough. Live from North Lane. Well, now it's time to get to some real news, Eddie. Really? Oh. Because we've been going through just so much fucking unbelievably bummer.

So much bummer information. There's so much bad news out there. And honestly, it's a distraction from what we should really be paying attention to. Yeah, because the side story curse hit us last week. It did. It did. Because we were too busy up our app.

talking about the pedophilia cabal that runs a government. So we did not get to talk about probably one of the most significant moments in Bigfoot history that has happened since a lot of these, a lot of what are these kind of soft-faced men that I've seen on these podcasts, where they have said is that we have not seen a Bigfoot flap like this since 1978. When we had over, I believe, they believe the statistic was that we had Bigfoot activity in 10 states in 1978. Wow. Yes. But what we missed was truly one of the biggest series of Bigfoot sightings that happened in a concentrated area. No footage. No.

Why? Eddie, why ruin it with that? Why ruin it with that? We don't need that. They saw tracks and tufts. and they heard several vocalizations. Bigfoot flap in Ohio and it's not just the sides of the boys

working at the deli. We have got this. It is a huge, huge fucking story. A dramatic surge. And Bigfoot sightings occurred last week from March 6th to March 10th. We had literally eight sightings and over five days.

Now, do these people know each other? Bigfoot? The sightings people. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. They're strangers there. We got to remember, this is in Portage County, Ohio. This is out in the middle of nowhere. It's about an hour and a half

southeast of Cleveland. So we're always out there. We're close to Akron. We're close to our people. Cleveland seems to be claiming this. Cleveland can go fuck. It's Akron. I want to ask our Akron people

how they feel about that, okay? Because Cleveland's trying to steal the one thing that you have. Okay? So Portage County, which is kind of mixed and all this, they're saying that they saw these big foot, right? Big feet, big foot, that's what we call multiples

of Bigfoot or a big foot. We saw two separate creatures that seemed to be seen multiple times. One was a 10 foot, black, big foot. Right? And the other one was a six foot brown. Bigfoot. Maybe a lady.

Maybe a lady. Who knows? Now they, it seems to have gone along a river. Now, across the portage and Trumbull County, it seems to be kind of affecting. And a lot of this reported by one podcast, a guy that runs a podcast called Bigfoot Society that I end up listening to. He also did a little crossover with blurry creatures. I'm going to give them a shout out because that's where I got some of their information. Like listening, they really did go deep in on this.

Obviously, the guy from Bigfoot Society is Jeremiah Byron is sort of, he's definitely the John keel of this. He largely goes on vibes. He says that he gets sightings every day between this. And he also works with this project called the Bigfoot mapping project, which is truly a remarkable resource for putting Bigfoot's on a map. Yeah, but anyone can just

add their sighting. I could be like I saw Bigfoot at the Burbank Mall. You probably did. But I could just write that on the siding map, so the siting map seems flawed to me. No, but you see, what he's done here is that they are color-coded. So I believe

the greens are the ones that he himself has they went and they verified. So Jeremy Byron would go and get these series of sightings and then he would call them to sort of get the whole gestalt, right? To get the whole story and to him

his belief was that I know when I hear the truth and this is what I'm hearing is the truth. So this is a undocumented. We got a bunch of these things, right? And they all got, they all, it's interesting because you click on these

and they give you a little description of what happened. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's very interesting. Now, the first report received by Bigfoot mapping project, this comes from, this is AOL.com. Oh, they're still doing stuff. Oh, sure. March 6th, the first one took place in broad daylight.

A witness saw out in the field in this area when they locked eyes with a nine-foot tall, brown-haired Sasquatch. The terrifying thing is that this happened. Broad daylight. 1223. That was March 6th. Same day.

They see another big foot, right? A hiker heard something unusual as they entered in the woodland, not far from the previous day's sightings. Next day. The footsteps were too low and too spaced out and way too heavy for a deer or another hiker. Then, just 40 yards away, a massive, eight-foot-tall creature stepped out from behind the trees, dark brown hair, long arms, and it turned its face just to look directly at the high Now, the thing we know about Bigfoot, can't turn its head.

Oh, really? No, why not? Don't know. Does it have neck bones? I don't know. They say it moves like a gorilla where it moves his whole body right to turn and look at you. Right? So that's a big distinct thing about Bigfoot, and that's how Jeremiah knows is a Bigfoot.

Oh, because it turned its whole body to see him. That's what he says, bears don't do that. Bears don't do that. Bears don't fucking do that. It said it was bigger than a bear? Bigger than a bear? Big than a bear. It's a bunch bigger than a bear.

Yeah, they can be much bigger than bear. I don't think that's bigger than a bear. Oh, it is. This one vocalized, but it saw it, and went, uh, and it vibrated through the trees. Don't Bigfoot have a high-pitched voice? But I think it was shitting.

Oh, you think it was shitting? Yep. Search of the area later revealed two large humanoid footprints. The Owens even keeps going. We have another one go. They see another woman saw a seven-foot-tall creature, dark reddish-brown fur, the beast with a big, fat, round.

muscular arms in a powerful heavy frame. It ran past the woman's house. And what she said was, it didn't seem like no deer. No. It didn't seem like a deer, because it was on two legs. Bears go on two legs. Sometimes. When they

hurt their front paws, they walk on two legs and it confuses people. The next day, Jeremiah and Byron got a call from someone who, quote, said straight up, I'm not a big foot person. All right? And they said they were passing the Tinkers Creek area when a six and a half foot but lean brown Bigfoot appeared in their lane,

but going against the flow of traffic. And she said they were so close that the witness said that their daughter could have reached out and hit the Bigfoot with her arm. So it was walking along the highway? It was on the river. It was on the river. It was on the river.

And then the German Shepherd went running after the Bigfoot, right? And then it was scared. And it came back and scared. And that's how Jeremiah also said he knew it was real because the dog was scared. Now, all right, so I have a lot of family in Ohio. Shout out, Cincinnati. I know this is kind of far.

They're very tall. My family? Julie's family's very tall. Yeah, they're tall. Yeah. Are you calling them Bigfoot? I'm just saying I notice the pattern of information. The thought that I was trying to convey was that it is cold as fuck there right now.

Yes. Who are these people hiking? Crazy people. Who's hiking in the middle of goddamn winter? People with no family. It's fucking snowing every goddamn day. Yeah, people don't know how. People who don't know how to have fun.

people that are miserable on the inside I want to make others miserable on the outside That's what people do You've seen Adam Wurts in our network Right who does the thing where he's like He refuses to wear pants or socks or shoes No matter what because he's like oh he doesn't get cold I've seen him in the snow and Brooklyn

In shorts and sandals and it freaks me out And he says I don't get cold Right he says I don't get cold You're guys like that They're like that They're sick they're attached to the cold So there's eight different groups of people walking around

in the snow in the middle of the woods. Random people that live out in the woods. And some are hiking. One was hiking. A lot of these people are just home

and hearing these things out in the woods as they go along this like northeasterly pattern along the river. So what does Bigfoot eat? Stuff.

What do you mean stuff? I mean, it seems that Bigfoot is more often than not omnivorous. He does eat he might eat little birds. Maybe.

Maybe. He might eat squirrels. Has anyone ever found Bigfoot shit. One of the major issues is the fact that you would assume that a nine foot creature that lives... Huge piles of shit. Would have quite a bit of

scat. We probably would have found more of their dead bodies. We probably would have seen more of them on hundred hands. You probably would... Of course, yes. They could have had fewer rules for their shit. We find dinosaurs. They're under the ground. Well, you know, but they're not Bigfoot. And they're not a big foot. Because

I do find it interesting. One of the witnesses, though, which is why Jeremiah Byron ended up bringing the story to blurry creatures because I guess over in blurry creatures they're kind of more like us where they like to do the woo and they also do I think they're a bit Christian so we'll find I mean I think it's all that was like a couple things

they said a couple things about Christ which seems to be within the big footers community which is like because the Jeremiah Byron said something oh they're willing to believe in something that doesn't exist yeah right he said something along the lines of what if you ever get too close to a big foot

what you know like what happens if something happens you and Jeremiah Byron did say something along the lines of. He's like very lightheartedly. He's like, well, if I die, I just get to go to heaven sooner. And all the guys were like, yeah, yeah. And they all kind of said that very flippantly and moved on. And then I was like, ooh. Yeah.

Oh, wow. That's an extremist point of view. That's fine. But Bigfoot's not. You sent me three hours of fat men talking about Bigfoot. To like, for research for this 10 minute bit, I'm just like, no way. I just saw that.

I was just like, you do you. too long, one was an hour in 50 minutes? Here, play this video. Play this little section I have that I put in here. I was like, I am not watching this. I want you to play this one little section I have from discovering Bigfoot because that was the other thing

that the dude from Bigfoot Society. You're so lucky you already got married. Play this. No, she has to hear this. She has, Natalie gets this. She gets this. No, you have to go to it. It's saved the four minute point. So this is from, this is a clip that

from a Bigfoot documentary called Discovering Bigfoot by a guy by the name of Todd Standing, who is an absolute moron. But these guys are like, he's done a lot of fake pictures of Bigfoot. He swears he could call Bigfoot. But here, I just want to hear like this. What's his number? You'll see. Oh, it's 867309.

Do you believe in miracles? No. Would you believe me if I told you there was a small mammal that flew around at night, completely blind. And to survive, it had to consume thousands of mosquitoes every night. It's a bat. Sounds impossible? How about a small-brained aquatic mammal that spent its whole life building intricate aquatic structures while surviving on wood?

No. You probably would think all that's impossible, except you know that bats and beavers are a real, living, thriving species, one of many that currently reside here in the forest of North America. Now I'd like to tell you about another miracle. He then combines it all with Bigfoot. He's got a good point. What do you mean? He's got a good point. Rob is a big footer.

No, no, no, no. Rob's a big foot. I am not, I am not. But you have sunk more time than any of us into Bigfoot. I don't believe in them, though. Yes, but I think it's very interesting. I've watched Harry and a Henderson's about 35 times. Harry and Henderson's is actually...

Phenomenal film. And it also has quite a bit of pretty detailed lore in it. Oh, no, they did a good job. Like the guy that plays the Hunter's Base off of... real Bigfoot hunter. Like that French guy, the French guy is based off a real guy. Like, it's kind of interesting. There's actually some like Bigfoot lore in that.

But mostly to have it all go back is that one interesting description, the final description of the Bigfoot was when this woman described about how the Bigfoot came out of the brush and that she couldn't literally describe its face. She said it was blurry. She looked at it and it was blurry and she couldn't do it And she says I know what I saw But I didn't know what I saw But then he could say that it's because

Which I kind of find interesting One big Bigfoot theory One Bigfoot theory I really like Comes from the Newkirks About this like one idea Of Bigfoot being a ghost Of an old form of human Okay

Right like imagine that we're in a world That has more legs than anything else I've heard. Imagine if Loch Ness Monster was a ghost of a pleasiosaur. Like, imagine if it was this thing. This is cool. That's a funny, dumb idea, right? That's cool.

I like believing that. Yeah, that's stupid and funny. That is a fun thing to believe. And so this idea of, like, or a thought for, this idea that we have thought about these things, and they are out there, and there are mysterious things in the woods. But the main issue, I do believe, according to physicists, I mean, biologists, is the idea that the main issue is that Bigfoot would require a massive amount of resources. So a large, a animal that large

would require the food intake for a animal that large would be very noticeable. It would just be extremely noticeable. It would be the same as any other nine foot tall creature that would need protein and you would need all these things and it would hunt. And like that's kind of the major issue. It's like that's kind of where they said they're like you can corner, you can kind of maybe think it could hide.

It could be an herbivore. It doesn't need protein necessarily. To get that big. Cows? I mean, I guess Bronosaurus is in those old animals, but they didn't live very... Buffalo? Buffalo doesn't fucking...

I think that Buffalo will eat up... You post ears of my name? I don't know. Side stories, L-P-O-T-L at G-N-Hail.com. Rhinoceris is fucking herbivore. Are they all herbivores? I think they eat like birds and squirrels if they can, right? No.

I don't know. The rhinoceros has birds pecking at its head all day. But I think if it could get one, it'll eat one. No! It's an herbivore. I don't know.

I don't know. Panda bear! Side stories L-P-O-T-L Gmail.com, I want to know. They will not eat a bird. Yeah, that's just Google AI saying whatever it is. I believe it on this case. Google AI is just trying to calm women down.

That's all it's trying to do because I had to deal with this. I agree with that. I literally had to explain to Natalie about like how certain dogs get stolen because they are intact generally, right? And they get stolen to be bred, right? And that's essentially who took Johnny Gosh but for dogs.

And she started to cry. She immediately got so upset with me for saying that. And then I had to go like, no, baby, that doesn't exist. There's no way that exists. No, I'm sorry. I'm crazy. I'm a more, I'm crazy. I had one time we were driving.

Julie was driving. We were in New Jersey. And it was like raining and it was at night. And this cat ran in front of the Julie's car in the highway and she killed it. And I just remember looking at her and just be like, I can't believe you hit that possum. You know, I just feel like, oh my God, that possum. Like, clearly a cat. Oh, my, no, no, that possum.

I kid that dirty, dirty possum. I bet. Honestly, most possums only run into the road if they have rabies. So I'm certain that actually we did a good thing. So I actually, all of this being said, I can't stop thinking about the ghost thing. I think that's to interrupt you, but now I'm just like locked in like, what if Rambo's a ghost? What if I get to, like, you know, what if I get to find my boy?

Well, you know, they have, they talk about this with Animal Ghosts, so time, people. I actually would love to, this is, finally can get some woo on back on here. Side Stories, L-P-O-T-L at Gmail.com. I'd love to hear stories

of you getting haunted by your pets. Yeah. I know, I have heard it. I would love a pet seance. Multiple times. That's a seance I'm into. Yeah, pet psychic. Can we talk to one?

No, you want to get into bigger trouble than we did fucking beyond the veil? Yeah. Because talk about just, Oh, I'm channeling a good boy? It's just like The pet psychic world Is so funny

Because it's so deeply manipulative And my mom My mom gets it all the time Because it's like there's something about it There's some people that can smell it Like my mom has had multiple people Go up to her and be like I talk to your dog

And she's happy She wants to know She's that you're happy And you're just like, why are you people doing this to each other? I had a stewardess telling me that Champ loves me that she was picking up his messages on the plane. Yeah, obviously Champ loves me. Yeah, it's not like, am I sitting here wondering? Champ sending mixed signals?

No. He didn't like being trapped in that little container. Of course not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called read your palm harbor. Oh, God, hopeless. But I would say that like open your mind a little bit to the idea that there might be something. There might be something going on.

It is interesting to have so many witnesses. They called the police. The newspapers got involved. Like the news actually came and investigated it. The police came. They came and investigated it. They found nothing. They, but there is people really shook and up.

They saw something weird. And I think that, you know, things can hide in the woods. Sure. But the one thing that this guy said, I will say there was a couple of theories that he had that kind of, I was like, all right, you probably shouldn't say that, where he was saying, one theory what he was afraid of. He's like, well, you know, there's a fault line

that runs through Ohio. Oh, shut up. And what if these Bigfoot are starting to feel the little little vibrations? They came up through the earth? No. They're moving town. They're like, where are the worlds? They're going to Bigfoot country, Delaware.

Oh. They're moving to Biden town. They're moving to DuPont country. Well, that is... Because they think that maybe the chemicals can hold the earth together. because they're out there and they're staying. Maybe they are warning us about a big earthquake that will finally bring Cleveland to the sea. As was foretold.

As was foretold. I think all the burger grease is holding it in place. Now, the one thing I did find interesting about the Bigfoot thing, because I read the articles, was that they were saying how he's like walking, how he's moving. and he walks in an interesting gate he was in a specific gate

yeah well not just that he's nomadic he doesn't have a home no humans were nomadic yeah were we were before we made before we decided to create things suburb surpluses we started to understand that we could stay and we could create habitats

and then eventually that turned into governments and eventually that turned into glory holes and guys doing daisy chains and all sorts of in strip malls and you know what we know is United States of God of America. So Bigfoot's don't, like, live in a cave. I don't know, Eddie.

I think they disappear at night. Yeah, you think when they get... But most of the sightings are at night. Hmm. Some of them. That's when they wake up. This all started with you saying that there was a Bigfoot sighting during the day, and that is rare.

That is rare. And now you're saying that they can't be seen in a night. I'm saying when they go to sleep, they disappear. That if Bigfoot... is physically real, I don't know where he sleeps. He might sleep on the ground. Of course he sleeps on the ground. I mean

underground. Or maybe in the tree. No, we'd see him in a tree. He's big. He's fucking huge. This thing says Bigfoot's had been known to sleep in an abandoned building. Oh, this is where we're now. I don't know. I'm done. You know what it is, is that I think Bigfoot

is still a mystery. I do believe there is a sort of spiritual, psychic energy to it. There's something else if we really want to get into it, I'm not going to immediately say it's all fake because I still think that there is, there's something out there in them woods. There's something out there in them woods, but you never know what it is and we'll never know probably. And I don't know if we need a big foot to like come out.

A big foot will literally need to like show up. I feel like it in this level two, in this year of our Lord 2026 with all of the bad pop culture and all the bad stuff. Like, I just feel like a Bigfoot is this close to being on, like, Jake Paul. It would really help, like, a Paul brother show. You know what I mean? The psyche of America, if Bigfoot just, like, came out and, like, did an interview. Yes.

It would help everybody. But we're not there yet. And I don't think we ever will be because I don't think it's the right time for him. Yeah. Can I say something real quick just as, like, a public service announcement? Yes. Costco's recalling meatloaf. So if you bought a bunch of meatloaf.

If you're in line, stay in line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Return it. Return it. They will, they will, they're taking returns. Stay in line. But yeah, there's salmonella and the meatloaf at Costco, so be careful. What are we even doing? It's in every, it's almost every state. He has a Google alert for me.

I just wanted to let you guys know. It's something that popped in me, and I just want to let you, I just got a Costco membership. I'm not scared of Costco. I just want you to know. Oh, my back at me. We're doing our spring Thanksgiving. I got to get my lamb. Oh, yes. So I got to go to Costco. It's the only place I get it. So if you bought a meatloaf pack at Costco in the past couple weeks, return it, meatloaf with mashed Yukon potatoes and glaze.

Oh, wow. Salmonella. No one is dead yet. Not yet. But if you die by meatloaf, we will honor you on the show. Yeah. Even meatloaf himself is dead. He is dead.

So don't eat him either. No, no, no. You don't only be chewing on bone. Right from your grave. Now, we have a couple of other stories we can get to, because, oh, also just so you know, there was a giant documentary that specifically disproved the Patterson Patty, the Bigfoot Patty. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because they saw rehearsal footage.

Why would you keep the rehearsal footage? I just doesn't make sense to me. If you're, like, head of a conspiracy and you're, like, creating it, just destroy the footage. I need you to spend more time with Bigfooters to understand why. I need you to spend more time with Bigfooters to really understand Because still we'll always talk about the musculature We'll always talk about how Obviously whoever was in the Patterson Gimlin film was pretty jacked

That always was what I was saying before Is that you can see the musculature of his back You can see the musculature of his legs Yeah But now if you really look at it, it is very much a costume Of course it's a costume It might as well be a refrigerator box with fur on top But it's kind of nice in a way.

It's a very good costume. Yes, for back in the day. See? That one's gone, too. Another dream flushed on the toilet. But I still don't think that does it mean that there's not something out in there woods. Yeah. You never know.

You never know. There's got to be something in the woods. There's stuff in the woods, buddy. See, but the thing is, like, the deep voice is what threw me. Because for all these years, I heard high pitch. But does high pitch screams? And almost sonar-like grunts. Okay.

And that's for when he shits. But we didn't find the shit. That's what I was saying. Okay, good. That's my belief. That's my personal belief. All right. Now, we got to give a shout out to this guy.

Who's he? Tommy Thompson. Oh, yeah, dude. We'll give a shout out. Now, this guy, very rarely do we celebrate the criminal. But today we do. I don't know how true that is. I'm just trying to say something.

I'm just trying to say something. it seems like we have we care. So, but today, this guy deserves it. Oh, my God. He deserves to be fully celebrated because he won. He did win. It was a long fight,

but God damn it has this man won. Tommy Tomicent. He found treasure, true shipwreck treasure years ago in 1988. So the goal is to say, so he was charged by a company, right? Yeah. He's a research science, scientist from Ohio.

He found the SS Central America. And I guess... Bad name for a ship. Yeah. We were strange. And then it had thousands of pounds, I guess, have sunken treasure that was in it, where he was there for 150 years. And I guess this guy, Tommy Thompson, found the gold.

And then he had it minted into coins. Yes. And now no one ever found the coins. So he got the gold. The company said we never got our money, right? that goes, you're supposed to give us millions of dollars in gold. He got the old bouillon, turn into coins, and then they went away. And then they kept trying to ask him, where's my go coins?

Where's my gold coins? And he kept it a secret. And they put him in prison. So this is the things. They kept them in secret because it was contempt, right? Yeah. Which you only, you really only could stay in prison for 18 months for that. Yes, because he said here that they had yet to receive.

any money from the $50 million sale of more than 500 gold bars and thousands of coins just part of the ship's booty Thompson living in Florida he went to seclusion he became a fugitive and eventually he got arrested yeah they found him in a hotel

room now this is my thing is like he obviously didn't have the money so because he was holed up in some like horrific hotel room and I guess he figured maybe this was sort of like the the plan altogether because he had these coins They were evaluated at $2.5 million at the time. And I guess he had given them over to a trust in Belize.

And then he said that they try to do this $50 million sale, but most of the money went towards legal fees and bank loans and all this kind of shit. But they put him in jail for contempt. And you're only supposed to be there for 18 months. They put him in for 10 years because he refused to say, where the gold was. And so finally, they've decided that it was,

they can't keep him in. They had to release him. I mean, in my opinion, this man is a case against the government. He legitimately just said, 10 years they put him in for contempt. For contempt.

And they finally just said, I don't think that he, I don't think this is working. And they've decided to release him. So Tommy Thompson, he got released after a decade in jail. And he still got the gold. He's got the gold.

And that's the thing. So now wherever it is, he's got a hit. Now he's free and clear. It's a real life leprechaun. He's free and clear now. And so he can go get that gold and go and live in Brazil. And he can, oh, he could sleep face first in a butt? Why would you?

Fuck that. Fuck us. Honestly, we put him in prison for 10 years. Seriously, dude. You take that money. It's not American currency. It's just gold. You spend that anywhere.

You take that and you. move to fucking Colombia and you live the life. Yeah, because he served his time. Oh yeah, I don't think they can do anything about it. If he shows up in court covered in gold, like they can't do anything about it, right? I think that as long as

the gold never appears anywhere. I think they could still get, I don't know. Side stories, LPLTL, the GMA.com. Is the gold his? Officially. He did time. He did 10 years. In my opinion, he earned it. It was for contempt. It wasn't for necessarily for breaching the contract.

Like that's the problem. Because now he's a, I've got to be going. You know, every single day, he's just in that fucking, all the pirates of the Caribbean, beer and the mural. He's made like a Johnny Depp mural and is like, out of his own shit in his little cell just going like, he, he, he, he, ha, ha, ha, everybody, he knows everybody's just loves him. Yeah, calling him the captain.

Well, there's got to be at least a couple people in prison. Do you think he, I would have told every person in prison, prison a different place where the gold was. And I'll meet you there. It's like, how much fun would that be? And then you're like, and then promising guys gold? Like, how much would we be like, now listen here,

sonny, you've got a fine little girl like mouth. And how about you give me a kiss? And I'll give you one gold coin. He just draws an X over some guy's asshole. Where do you think the gold is? Where did he put it?

Where did you guys hide it? I believe. Dude, I don't even want to fucking guess. Yeah. I don't even want to guess. You got to bury it. It's in the desert or something. It'd be inside me. Well, it's got, no, it's got to be in the Caribbean somewhere.

I would bury that golds. Hmm. Maybe in nowhere, well, no one will find it. We'll put a bunch of copies of jiggly on top of it. I mean, but how would he know if no one got to it? I mean, he's been in prison for 10 years. Someone could have found it by now. Well, maybe he's got somebody.

I was him. I'd have a sweet little chika down old Brazil. You can't trust these chicas, man. No, man. You can't trust these chicas. I'll tell that little chika. These chicas today? I would say you sit down there.

I'd be like, see. May, how do I forget how to say return. May return you. You're a little sweet, beautiful woman. It's too long to leave a chika with that much gold. I'm telling you, man. No, what do you say? He's like, here's one gold coin.

You take that in your purse and you keep it. And the rest of the gold, that'll be there. But when I come back, if I see one coin gone, you're walking the plank. You know, like that. girls are going to walk the plank, man. What's the last time we made a girl walk the plank? Oh, man, never.

Girls, these days... I feel like that. I think that buys a man's loyalty. What, planks? No, this idea of being like... One gold coin? I'll watch your gold. Man, we got to be careful right now. I see, senor, I watch your gold. When the internet goes down...

See, signor, me love you. And the stock market crashes? Me gusto gold. This guy's got... He's gonna win. That's what I'm saying, dude. She knows. She's reading the fucking... You don't think, little chicken. reading the fucking the Atlantic

looking at all of the various problems with our with the fact that we're fucking heading towards a weird mini recession you know what I mean she knows gold holds so they're just spying on this guy still too that's what I would be he's gonna be watching him forever no that's what

that's the thing he's got to go that's probably kind of the problem right now is now he's probably moving the gold back and forth you know um you can get gold bars at Costco what yeah you can buy a gold bar at Costco and then put it to your bed and wait for the fucking government to collapse. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much? Let's see, hold on. Goodbye. See, look, here we got these. These right there. Wow. Yeah, you can buy a gold bar, Costco.

Yeah, I don't know how much they are, exactly, but I don't know. Perfect gift for your insufferable uncle. Yeah. $2,679. Wow. For a gold bar. That's almost worth it. Yeah.

You know what's great about it? And you know what's awesome about it? Can't wear it. Can't do anything with it. You sit there. Why do they put elephants on it? I don't know. It's got to look like something.

Yeah, I guess that's cool. But yeah, gold bar. Buy it at Costco. Oh, man, check goes on sale. Yeah. So when you're returning all your meatloaf, say you got like $2,600 a meatloaf. Let's say.

Just say, you bought that. And you're like, hey, you know what? I got to return that. Give me, here's all the meatloaf for one gold bar. Give me your goal. Give me the gold. All right. So we got a couple of stories that I'm interested in.

How much time do we have left? I guess we have as much time as we want. It's our lives. So sure. Yeah. Well, we got these Florida teens that killed someone. In the name of Adam Lanzah. They were trying to do a blood ritual.

They're just shitty teenagers. There's another thing that I just actually got. I sent another email about another, a 13-year-old killing somebody over a tablet. Okay. Another tablet-based murder. And it's just like, it's true. We got to be careful.

The screen time. I'm careful with this. screen time. You know, I'm not apparent. So glad I'm not a parent. Carmi and Wendy, I didn't have to deal with anything. The fact that they showed them three Nicholas Wyndham Reffen films on Sunday. You know what I mean? I don't have to deal with that. I don't have to deal with any

blowback of the fact that we sat and watched pusher, Blaser, Blater, and Valhalla Rising together. And I can do that. Guse, it's not going to frame the brain. It's like a change the brains of Carmi and Wendy. You know, but there's something about this with the tablets. These kids are addicted. Yeah. And that's why I don't, I don't go

anyway in they're in elementary school. Because these kids are all packing. I don't want to talk to a college student. I don't, I, kids are these kids are packing, man. They'll be careful. Never fuck with a child. These molesters should be more on their toes.

They really should. These kids got to be, we should give, think about this, that would be kind of fun with more kids with conceal and carry. Give them little derringers. Yeah, why not? Yeah, one shot, that's all they get. Honestly, if we're doing this at this point,

straight up, at this point, with the amount of pedophilia kind of in the news, and how much school shootings are going on at this point. I'm saying we give toddlers derringers. Derringers. Yeah. Yeah. Why not?

Didn't rule once. Yeah, because I can't put my finger in one. No. No, no. It's for a baby. It's for a baby or... A little woman. A little woman.

So there was a story we wanted to get to last week that we skipped. Yes, but this one is good because it came up several times on our weekend. Oh, yeah. So seven men plead guilty in interstate robbery scheme at Pennsylvania rest stops. These guys are fucking. So, so stupid. There's seven guys, and they are all uglier than the last one. A.R. Talk about a Delco County fucking crew.

Yeah, so they were all from Ohio, and one was from Tennessee, but they got caught in Pittsburgh. Yes. And basically, what they were doing was at a phony lottery scheme, where they would all be at a rest off together. It's the dumbest scheme you've ever. Scheme is such a silly word for this, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess it's a, yeah, just a little trick. It's stupid. It's a stupid little trick.

So basically, these guys would be like, oh, man, they see someone at a rest stop. Oh, man, my buddy just won the lottery, and we're playing poker, and he's losing. You got to go play poker against our buddy. So listen to this, okay? Okay, think about this. So one man comes up to you. You're at a rest stop on the highway. This isn't like a truck stop.

It's a rest stop. A guy comes up to you and goes, hey, free money behind the rest stop. like essentially being like this guy but it's convoluted way to say like do you want to get in on this random poker game with us and go after this fake poker hustler yes right and so you have to first game is behind the rest of so you have to just go like okay yep oh i wasn't on my way anywhere that's exactly hopefully this turns into some kind of daisy jane you're gonna be like that's all i can think of god jealie gosh that sounds phenomenal I gotta go! I got to go. That's not down we go down there. This is one of the most amazing things. What a wonderful way for money to kind of go for hand-to-hand to all this various people.

Rob accidentally put a Bernie Sanders picture off. I just got to say it's just a nice thing. This is a normal way for money to kind of go down from those that have to those that don't. And it's just an amazing way for the America system. We're going to work on a little. It's kind of socialist way. So basically they would trick them in the coming behind the, to play poker behind the rest stop. And the moment they got behind the rest of it, they would just beat them up and take their money.

And they were doing this for a long time in multiple states, even in Canada. Well, I just love the fact that you'd come around and see a scene out of guys and dolls. You'd see a scene. It's one guy. And then you see six guys fake playing poker. They're all like, yeah, I'll see that. Oh, I'll raise that. Oh, you can see them all doing like playing dice.

Just like when they come around their corner and they're all like, like, look. Be elated. tonight. Lucky lady tonight. So they were doing this for how long? How long? Three months. Three months. They were doing it. And between the seven

of them, they made $21,000. Okay, so I want you to do the math here. Seven guys make 21 grand over three months. So that seven guys divided by 21 grand, right? Several guys, that's three grand a month.

Three grand for all of them. For all of them. Each. So each one. makes about not enough for rent yes each one makes a grand no each of them made three grand

over a grand a month it's a grand a month which is not rent no they and this is why we were so surprised I always remember we had a 10 person sketch group and murder fist and when we were doing murder fist we had a 10

person sketch group and I remember like it was up to 13 at one point but I remember always being like oh we're a fucking we're so funny, we're no-brainer. How does this not work out for us? And I remember saying this to Michael, I was saying this Michael Ian Black when we were doing Michael Michael, and he was just like, I was in a 10-person sketch group. It was called The State. We made $100 a person for a bunch of years. He's like, they paid us in being cool. It was awesome. We were broke. We got nothing. And it was

like, oh, it would be extremely expensive to pay a 10-person sketch group. Any form of livable wage. It's why you didn't get it. It's like, oh, wow, I didn't even fucking think about that. Yeah. Well, everyone always told us to ditch everybody. The, what you could call it? But yeah, the five men are from Cincinnati. So that's cool. And we're going to be in Cincinnati

very soon. I can't wait last podcast and left.com. We're over at the Tath. That's the TAP theater on April 25th. We're going to be there. So maybe we should see if these guys' family want to come. God, Julie's family's going to love our show. Yes, they're going to fucking love it. Yeah. Well, luckily, you know, we don't have to worry about, you know, them.

I don't think they're going to come. I think some of them are going to come. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, no. I want to show the backstage. Oh, yeah. And then I want her to just leave. Well, just wrap her head in a scarf or something. She doesn't want to see this. No, she wants to see the people like me.

Same thing. That's up when my mom... But she doesn't want to see what I say. That is all my mom wanted. My mom's main takeaway from when she saw the live show was like, oh, they love it. I was just like, oh, the fans. Yeah. And she's like, thanks. I don't know if she's going to be able to handle the Hail Satan call and response.

Maybe she shouldn't. Maybe she should. We're going to find out what's going to happen. Never once. Never once. And you know what? She's going to be sitting in the AVA. Time's up.

Yeah. I got to see it. Come on. Let me. Come on. Is this bed? Oh, we're going to have to cut all this? I wish we didn't have to.

I wish we didn't have to cut everything that Henry just said about my family. But that's out and you can use your imagination of what it was. Yeah. You just got uninvited to Thanksgiving. It's not your family fully. It's half of your family now. It's what happens when you get married, Henry. It's your family now.

No, I remember right now. Well, I know. I got some. I have something, too. No, you are, it is, this story is just so funny to me because not only is it a truly bad crime to do. Yeah. It's stupid.

It's stupid crime. Who has money on them? I guess they did it for three months and they got $21,000. But it's not worth it. Crime does not pay. No. And this is not how you do it. Proof it does not pay.

These guys are stupid. And I don't know why they would just, you know what I think? One of them was 73. Do you think that it was because that guy? Do you think it was because this was an example of one friend of a friend hearing about the crime and them instead of getting them to call the police, they just folded them into this game? Do you think that every single time somebody else showed up? I was like, sure you guys playing poker for real?

And they're like, no. No, we're not playing poker for real. I don't understand. We got all the stuff for poker. And you brought money to it, right? And they're like, no, you see, it's deeper than that. But your best part is we can entertain ourselves playing poker waiting for criminals. And then just slowly adding guys to the table.

Yeah, I think that every guy who got added was a victim who didn't have any money. And they're like, listen, you got to earn your keep now. It's like when you buy food, but you can't afford it and they make you wash dishes. Oh, you're poor. Oh, you're a homeless person. Well, now you're an employee. You know what I mean? Like, oh, great.

Does that help? Has anybody that had to wash dishes because they didn't pay for the meal? Were they ever good at washing the dishes? I'm going to say no. I think every time they've actually never done that and called the cops and they went to jail. Yeah, I think so too. And I also think that food's cheap and that sometimes people need to eat. They already got someone washing the dishes and they have to pay them.

Nothing makes me sad. I do feel like that is the stuff I utterly fully avoid when it comes to any of my cop porn at all. Like seeing people shoplift or doing stuff. It always breaks my heart. It always breaks my heart. Seeing people steal food. Watching people get in trouble for stealing food makes me so fucking sad. Just getting the food.

Yes, it's just food. Like, that's, to me. I know it's the, you lose it, but like on a grocery store, you can, you count that as on your losses and shit. So just give them the food. It's food. I hate the dining dash because sometimes like. No, dining dash just because that fucks with the server.

Sometimes the waiter has to pay for it. Yes, that fucks with the server. If it's like a shitty restaurant, the waiter has to pay for it. for it and that's fucked up. It sucks. Yeah. So, but yeah, I was, I remember I ate. I'll always remember the days when I was eating at a grocery store.

So I will never be angry at somebody for stealing food. Man, we had this trick we used to do where we'd get like a quarter pound of cheese and then a full pound of roast beef and then we switch the stickers. Oh, wow. Yeah, and you just walk out with a full pound of roast beef for $1. Wow. Fucking A. Now, see, that's a good scheme. That's something that made me work.

This is something that is stupid. But I do feel like in a way this is just men hanging out. Statue of limitations, you can't get me. You're right? You can't get them. You can't fucking get them. You don't even know what grocery store was. Win Dixie. But we all know when Dixie is where you go to work if you have a record. It doesn't make any sense, Wind Dixie, because they lost.

They lost. Yeah. Yeah, wow. The name of the store makes no sense. Yeah, it's bad. And it was a bad one. We got to listen to mail. We don't. Oh, wait. No. One. I do. We do have listener mail.

And I got a stinger here if you guys wanted. Oh, yeah. This is from Emily. And she lives in Lexington, Kentucky. Here we go. Oh, come on to the show. She's going to be there. Fuck yeah.

Is that Saul? It's time for listener emails. The spookiest stories are right. It's time for lesson her emails. Oh That's good Murder ballot energy Yeah very very

Dresden dolls Yeah I think that was a saw Up top I'm pretty sure That's very cool Thank you Emily That was really cool Good work Emily

Yeah Now this story goes out Taddy Oh thank God I've been sitting on this story For 30 years In the 90s My mom was obsessed

With Dan Marino Smart woman She would pretend To be him In AOL chat rooms convinced media literate pre-internet boomers that she was him. We even had a second phone line that they could call as proof. Her obsession got so bad we ended up...

But someone has to answer. Her obsession got so bad we ended up moving down the street from him. No. We would go to his church and sit by his family. She pulled my brother out of school so they could meet him at some golf tournament. She had me mail a letter to one of his kids to be friends. note, I did not want to be his friend. She even has a china cabinet

full of Dan Marino commemorative dinner plates. Fuck yeah. You should have been his friend. I feel like you don't understand how networking, how big that is in this country. It's hard. Dan Marino's children are autistic. I'm sorry. Or at least one of them is. Unfortunately, after it came out that Marino was a piece of shit for cheating on his wife,

the obsession seemed to fizzle. Whatever. Was it because he didn't cheat with my mom? The world may never know. She still has the plates. You're going to want to hold on those plates. Yes, you are. You're going to want to hold on those plates. Or you said and went over here.

You're going to want to hold on those plates. Yeah, yeah, Ed Larson, Caravell P.O. Box 470, North Hollywood, California, 9-1603. Steal one of those plates for me. You are, because honestly, they could be worth something. I don't know to who. All I knows, we did go to that Lincoln market. So you can go bring them there.

I bought Damarino football cards there. Dude. First of all, I got to say, I don't know how true this is, because I don't think these. people had enough money to live down the street from Damarino. Oh, shit. You couldn't leave in a weird place kind of near there? Nah, not by Damarino.

He's got to have a place right on the intercoastal. Oh, wow. That's too close to the water. Maybe he's got two homes. I'm sure he's got a million homes. Wow. Dan Marino. Yeah.

You know who I said hello to yesterday and interrupted his day? Doug Flutty? John Tesh. Whoa! That's a good one. Whoa. He was walking down the street, and I said, Mr. Tesh.

And he was like, yes. I don't know. It's just said. I didn't know. Then I realized, like, I didn't know what to say. Yeah. But I'm saying, because, like, it's not that, I technically said I'm a huge fan. But you're not. But, but then I kind of caveat it with just like, all the, the way I said to him was, you know, it's just kind of crazy. Just seeing you all these years.

And it's just good to see you. Is that what you said to him? Yeah. That's not bad. Right? It could be worse. Yeah. And he was just like, thank you.

I tell you about I have. He's huge. Yeah. We all know John Testament. huge. He's a big old man. I saw the guy who's a doctor on the pit, the cool, like the cool doctor on the pit.

He's like a smaller part, but he's the one who like shows up. He works with, he's like in the military gear and stuff like that. He's also in ready or not too. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. He's great actor. I love him, but I don't know his name or anything. And he was in front of me in TSA and they like

took his bag, you know, like, because he like, he messed up. And they like, they took his bag and he had to wait for his bag. And then I leaned in behind him. I was like, you got to leave your scalpel at home. You got to leave your scalpel at home. And then, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That guy, that guy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean had to see. Eddie, he didn't laugh. He didn't think it was funny. Well, fuck you, Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's trying to engage with you. That's your audience, Sean.

Hey, got to leave your scalpel at home. Hey, Eddie's like your number one fan. How dare you? Eddie's your number one fan. I love the pit. You laugh at Eddie. Oh, God. Out there, okay?

He said a funny thing to you. Yeah, it was 6 o'clock in the morning at the airport. And they took her back from her hands. I refused to learn your name. Very attractive. Oh, sure. Very attractive, man. So he's John Tesh.

Yeah. I'll say hello to you. That's important for you to know. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. If I want to say hello to a celebrity, I say hello to him. Really? That's a gavel at home.

Mr. Tish. It's easy to do. Live every day. No one for a fact. You never know where you're going to meet John Tash. Yeah. Love the fact that when you meet you meet. John Tesh, you don't say weird

things like, oh, you're taller than I thought because I didn't. I was happy. And then laugh. How's the weather up there? Yeah, and you're going to laugh at the fact that... I can't believe you're still alive that tall. Exactly. A tall man age fast is what I should have said.

No, I've never seen an old giant. Just laugh, just thinking about how I made his day. I don't know if you did. I don't know if you did. I think he made your day. He did. He did make my day. Come see side stories on the road. Henry and I are having a fucking blast out there.

April 17th, Anchorage sold out. Can't come too bad. Go to Fairbanks the next day. Dude, on April 18th. Come to Fairbanks. We have no idea what the weather is going to be like up there in April, but it's got to be better than it was. Yes, it's better than February, but that, honestly, we're sorry we missed and we're

going to make it up to you. We're coming. You guys come. It's just going to be fucking mug, but we cannot wait. I'm going to do some kind of brunch show the next day, too. I'm very excited about. Are they just going to sit and watch you eat? I think so. I think it's a, it's a muckbang. Wow.

Yeah, I'm just going to eat salmon for them. That's amazing. It's more like a buck bang because you're getting paid. Yeah, April 26th, Lexington, Kentucky. We're going to hang out with Emily. What's up? Bring it up some fun. And Emily, I'm coming to your fucking house. Emily, I'm going to have sex with your dogs. May 7th, L.A., Avalon, Theater, 945, the Netflix is a joke festival. Come on out. We're going to get horny.

We're going to be. Horny. And just so you know, in Los Angeles, it is also, we're up against the night of too many stars. Yes. And if you live in Los Angeles, you know, fuck these goddamn stars.

Right? Fuck these fucking pieces. We are going to have, we are also going to have celebrity guests. Yeah, we have full on celebrity guests at our show. They are currently being booked. And we got the real stars. Real stars.

No, you fucking forget about it. Who's at the real one? Who's at the real one? Who's at this night of many, too many stars? Who's there? What hacks are there? I don't know. What fucking hacks are there,

cowards are going to be there, huh? Robert Smigel. Yeah, what garbage-ass fucking pieces of shit are going to be there? I love them. It's like John Stewart and Anthony Jezelnick. Yeah, some real fucking people. There's some low-level talents like Adam Sandler. Yeah.

You come to the Avalon where you can see our guns. I guess what? You probably fucking drink with us afterwards because you're never going to see ever, Adam Sandler. You will probably see it. You, more than likely, if you come see us, you'll see me and Eddie go to the fucking bathroom. Hosted by John Stewart. Garbage.

Pussy. Bill Burr. See it. Oh, yeah. The fucking, the parking's terrible. Stupid. Conan O'Brien. Coward.

Garbage. Steve Correll. Bastard. Whatever. I see him live. I see him on the television. I like him better there. Nikki Glazer.

She's great. We love. We can't even joking. I don't want to say anything. Ron punches. He's cool. Yeah. Kimmel.

I like those guys. so very nice snide. Matt Rife. Matt Rife. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You bet you fucking, you bring Annabelle to us. Yeah.

You son of a bitch. Matt Rive has not said word one about Annabelle since he fucking purchased her from her pimp. Yeah, dude. That's what I want to know. Her fucking pimp. You slave owner? You human trafficker. Matt Rife.

Fuck you, dude. Yeah, that's what we're fucking talking about. Yeah. But anyways, come and see us. May 30th, Rochester, June 28th, London, Ontario. Yes, because Rochester, again, Rochester is. really where we shine. Yeah, yeah.

That's where we shine. Yeah, we don't shine anywhere else, but Rochester, whoo! Bring your sunglasses. Yeah, because we're going to be so shiny. Yeah. Also, April 3rd, come and check me and Amber out at the Lyric Hyperion and out in L.A. You're going to have a lot of fun. That's on Good Friday. That's a great idea. It's

a great fucking idea, Addy. Yeah, it's a really good idea. Hell Satan. And hail Balderata's pork sandwich shop in Urbana, Illinois. Holy shit, dude. That fucking pork. But that pork keta sandwich, they make their own portketa. And they made all their own meats. And they baked their own bread.

I smell the bread in the back. It's the best-smelling bathroom I've ever been in. Yeah. I've farted in there. And it still smelled up good. Yeah, it was just like, thank you. It said thank you when you farted. Yeah.