Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Stories with Friends

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

Henry Zebrowski & friends bring you this week’s weirdest stories and true-crime news - UK villain “The Silent Man” RETURNS to wreak havok, new details reveal Devil’s Den Killer was also a very bad teacher, Natalie Jean takes a look at the mysterious "Mini Lights" of St. Pete, Jake Young reacts to a mischievous Texan man-baby in need of a diaper change, then to cap it all off - Toad Stories & Listener Emails with Grant Gordon! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Hello! Hello!

Is there anybody out there? Can anybody hear me? your dad is coming home Hello Hello Is there anybody in there? I'm all about myself And I feel scared

Normally I feel the up to 104 degree temperature of Ed Larson next to me at this table And as you can see The chair lies empty There's a setting there for him.

But he won't be there for Christmas dinner, no. No, no. For unfortunately today, it was a memorial episode about Ed Larson. What a wonderful life he lived. 1981, I think, to 2025. 43 big, fat years. He lived and died the way he always wanted

to die. We're just sucking off a dolphin. It's the only thing he thought about God, I miss Ed. I can't believe he died. I don't think he's dead. Oh, he's not dead yet? I don't think so. He's just sick. Oh, I thought he died.

Oh, no. Well, that scraps the plans for the episode. Hello, it's side stories, and it's me, Henry Zabrowski. Ed Larson's sick. And normally we will come up with some kind of solution here, right? we'd pipe him in from his home. But we know in the end his home has become

a gigantic nursing home for dogs. So you just hear the moans of the elderly dogs. And it's hard to hear him going making some play upon words. So today I'm writing solo. It's just me,

Henry Zabrowski, but I am going to invite the other people, other talented hosts here on LPN, to come with me and join on specific stories because I want to see their reaction. No one really knows what it's like in here in the cage with me, right?

Everybody's afraid. They just hear the yelling from outside this room and they just assume everybody's frightened of me. Let me be correct. But today it's going to be different because we've got special guests coming in. We've got my goddamn wife.

Natalie Jean is coming in from someplace underneath and LPN romance. We've got Jake Young from Nerd of Mouth, and we've got Grant Gordon from nothing, from literally absolutely nothing. I know he's in a lot of commercials. He's got some things. Grant's really done very well in the commercial space. Yeah.

You know, and I'm really proud of him for that. So if you've seen him on a commercial, please tell him because he's desperate for the recognition. Now, first of all, today's episode, I want to thank everybody who came out to our live shows over in Asheville. Durham, and Charlotte. They were, to be simply put, the best shows we've ever done in every one of those cities. And you guarantee that was absolutely

true. Ashville was wonderful. A lot of drugs there. Really very, very happy with them. Happy with how all of that went down. Everybody was very nice. A lot of people did not want to talk about the 12 tribes with me, which is a big deal in Asheville.

Do you know anything about that, Rob? I don't know. Never heard of it. The 12 tribes. is a old school, back to basics, what they used to call the Jesus people style movement. Also, just so you know, you're going to hear sounds coming from my fucking iPad

because what's happened to me today, that was just true. All right, before I get into any stories. God, fucking damn it. I have lost, my MacBook, I was in the hotel masturbating, like as I should, all right, to keep me honest. My masturbation is what keeps me a good

husband, keeps me being a good man. Okay? So I was masturbating and maybe it was because of the shame. Or maybe it was just because my computer had enough. Maybe my computer as a silent witness has seen me beat myself off so many times in such dark, cryptic way and just go to my dead eyes staring at the retina display and it's just seen it over and over again. My face like David Parker Ray hovering above myself, you know, like maybe it just decided

to quit on it. There's something that popped inside of it, like an internal crack or some more shit. All of a sudden, I'm literally watching it. My screen bursts into a bunch of pieces while I'm jerking off at it. And is that just the force of the pure organ energy coming out of me? That's not good. It's not good, but now it's, so now I'm on an iPad, and Natalie made the funny little joke. I'm like my mother, because everywhere I'm going around the house, like, oh, I'm getting no Wi-Fi on this.

Oh, thank God. my iPads, my little window to the world. That's what I love about my iPad. I just open it up and I could see, you know, you never visit so I just listen to you on the, I listen to you on the internet. Why would I look? Oh, I don't need

to talk to you, Henry Thomas, don't worry. I listen to your show. It's not like you tell me anything anyway. I'm becoming her piece by piece. But this, I will say, running a podcast network on an iPad and a phone is fucking

killing me. Okay? It's not made to work. Who uses these? Who's this for? Is this just for, is an iPad just for like grooming children? Toddlers. And elderly? Just for toddlers. Yeah. All right. That's me. I'm somewhere in between.

So the 12 tribes, I was bringing those up because in Asheville that is a backed to Jesus movement. Like they believe in the idea of a full strip down church. We talked about, I believe during the Jonestown series, the concept of the Jesus people, which is, you know, people called them Jesus freaks in the 60s.

It was a kind of ancillary to the hippie movement where it was a back to basics, no shoes, wandering the earth just like Jesus did, rest in the old days, right? Just gay as hell with your buddies, just wander in the desert, hungry as fuck, hate and yeast. Right? So now there is that more and more modern equivalence of that, and one of those is the 12. tribes. Now, they are centered around the Asheville area. They run a farmer's market inside of Asheville that's supposed to be one of the nicest. It's not the 12 tribes of Israel. It is a Christian group. Like, so they run a, uh, this, this farmer's market that's actually apparently very

famous in Asheville. And people were describing it to me that I thought was very interestingly where you go and you essentially get essentially harassed by Jesus filled children to buy the most incredible berries you've ever had, wonderful eggs and milk and all of this, and slowly but surely they're trying to sort of fresh food kidnap you into joining their cult and then you get

to be a part of their very, very antiquated patriarchal society where women essentially give birth and that's it and the men can have multiple wives and all of the children have to be beaten. That is literally like one of the major tenets

is that all of the children have to be They cannot spoil the rod. So they're beat with oiled up reeds and shit. It's not nice. Yeah, they got a lot of gations. Lattigation. But, you know, a lot of people, the venue didn't want to talk to me about them. I wonder why.

I wonder why, because they control half the city, or it's because it's unpleasant. And I was alienating them. Who knows? But a big shout out to everybody that we met in Nashville, because those are the only really people who hung out with. I didn't see, really see anybody in Charlotte or Durham because it was tired. So in Asheville, we went out and we had fun. I want to say thank you to Jade Young, our artists of our new logo, not that new now, like two years old. We hung out there.

Her and her crew, they were great. All the people over at the Moog factory, wonderful, wonderful people. No Gations. As far as I heard. Now, we got a couple of updates. Number one update that came across my desk just as I was sitting down. Do you remember the silent man? Oh, yeah.

The silent standing man? Oh, yeah. Now, the silent standing man is back. And he's more quiet than ever. This is the same guy. Yes, silent man, a man who spent more than a decade repeatedly standing in the middle of a busy road until he's arrested and then remaining silent has done it again. Just a month after being jailed for his last silent attack. David Hampson, he always chooses the same spot, namely the junction outside.

Swansea Central Police Station, which is if he's looking to not get arrested, he should choose a different spot. But he does it right in front of the police station. He was arrested for obstructing the highway, and then the 55-year-old continues to not engage with police officers, lawyers, doctors, court staff, judges, probation staff, and the reasons for his behavior remain unknown. But I know why. I actually think I know why.

Hmm. Hush, hush. Keep it down now. This is Carrie. Favorite song. Understands that also straight up talks to the cops, ain't going to do nothing, man, but get you in fucking hotter dokey.

That's just the fucking real shit, dude, is that you shouldn't open. He's actually the only criminal I've heard of that does exactly what you need to do, which is saying, Jack, shit. Never do it. Honestly, David,

obviously, this guy has got some kind of fucking brain problem. Yeah, what's wrong with him? I think he's got brain problem. That is, that's my generous assessment. He's got a brain problem and God knows what it is because he looks like the chattering. Oh, what's his name? The fat centabyte.

Oh, I don't know his name. It looks like the fat centibite. But that's fine. He's got a problem. He's got a little squircial face and like a duck lips. Chatterbox. He looks like chatterbox. And he's got little piggy eyes, right?

But he's got a freedom fighter's brain because he understands to not say anything. people say too much in the new day i feel like people you know obviously i am the biggest culprit of all i'm all talking i am the exact opposite of strong and silent so i look up to this man in many way because you know he has the balls to sit there while they're all like david are what's wrong with you what's your brain problem david why are you like this why are you standing here can we help you what's going on and he just silent as an easter island head. And that is what we should all take this from this,

is that silence is golden, especially when you're getting arrested for being silent. What do you think is his end game, just to be a human traffic cone? Like, what is he doing? I think David, you remember the movie, the Peter Sellers movie,

I am myself, what was it called? What do you say? Me, myself, and Irene. No, that's the other one. Peter Sellers movies. I don't know any Peter Sellers movies. You know what fucking talking about it's the famous one that he did where he is like the he it's like he's just this special man okay being there he's a special man that is essentially is he a moron or is he an angel and all these people project things onto him and what he stands for and so i think in a way

the silent man david hampson he might be willing and ready to accept a projection of the British people upon him to be the the he's going to stand in silence and we don't need to know his reasons his reasons are self-evident which is the highway's the problem and he hates people getting places on time and maybe that's what it is maybe he himself was always chronically late such a difficult man oh he's more than a difficult man he's getting to a point where he's so difficult he's getting into helpful and that's because we're going to project things upon him and we can use him. I think with David Hampson, we need to put him on the front

lines of Gaza. We need to put him standing right there and he stands silently judging. And I bet you just the guilt they'll feel of watching him stand and sweat in the desert heat. Because British people they always do that thing, right? I remember how many times I've been out of London, they're like,

oh, if you check out here, it's slok in his summertime, you wouldn't even lock London. It's all in there. It's all Christ's out of it. And you go down there and it's like maybe 80 degrees. And it's like you guys fucking, I don't even know how you drink tea all day long if you can't handle this fucking heat because tea's hot as hell

right? So these guys come out, they're all just like, can't extend it? When you put David Hampson on the lines of the Gaza property and he's standing and judging maybe then Israel will realize what they're doing. But until then, he's getting

a one-way ticket to the Swansea local jail. They should make him a traffic guard. Give him a job. I don't think he's, to be honest, I think the traffic needs to be guarded from him because he obviously has an issue with the traffic a traffic guard helps traffic he's not helping traffic right yeah

he's the opposite helping traffic he hates traffic it's true so kudos see you David Habsson and keep fighting the good fight of standing and doing nothing it is the ultimate way that's because remember when you're actively resisting the police

you don't want to fight in grip you want to fight because they're going to taste you grab you and they're going to taste you I don't know they do that in U.K. But go and limp. That's completely fine. Just go limp. But say nothing.

David Hampson's a genius. We have another update. So one of the more unfortunate stories that we covered last week is the story of a couple in Devil's Den. They were stabbed to death as the we were, there was a manhunt looking for them. They were hiking.

The mother that was stabbed to death actually managed to save her children before. returning to save her husband. It is extremely, extremely sad. This was in Arkansas. And the guy that was caught, Andrew McGahn, we now know a little bit more about him. So when

he was caught, he was driving a Kia, of course. And he was getting his hair cut. And he had obviously, he had the broccoli hair, which just seems to be a denotation of some kind of deviancy. I actually think once you see the broccoli

hair, like I don't know how you can have broccoli hair and teach because I actually thought that broccoli hair meant you couldn't be taught but maybe I'm wrong so he went he was getting his haircut actually a day after the crime so he stabbed these two people to death he went and got a haircut he said don't touch the tap as he was trying thought he would squish his bangs in front of his face right and it didn't work he was caught five minutes after he sat down but now we're seeing that he legitimately was a menace he was uh he taught in Texas elementary school with Lewisville ID

ISD and he was fired amongst a series of allegations as a young man. Now, he was obviously very, very, he's naughty boy. Noddy, naughty, naughty boy. He said stuff like, you was talking to little girls in his class.

It was labeled as inappropriate. He's told one little girl, if you were older, I would love to marry you. Now, I will say at least he couched it. with if you were older. I think at least there's that. I'm just sure for anything here.

At least there's that, right? But that wasn't the only thing. Because if it was just once, if it was just once. You know what I mean? You know, then you'd be like, well, you know, he's like, this is broccoli hair.

He forgets he's not 12. So he then, he was told he was going to be allowed to be allowed to resign. Right? But then all this other stuff came out. he uh the all these people was someone that was a former co-worker of his to find out he was arrested for killing a mom and dad in front of their two young daughters is horrifying but the fact that he was continuously allowed around children is the real travesty please listen to your kids when they tell you something is wrong or they've seen something happen so this is where all the other things that he was come this is another parent lindsay poliak who was a who had a child at louisville isd described other activities of andrewman and like providing candy and treats only for girls again

but even say that in the pickup artist you get the whole crew right if you're going to talk to one chick you got to talk to all the chicks I don't think he watched the pickup artist I don't think he did obviously not so it's like if you want to cover that up everybody gets candy okay hosting lunchtime

in his classroom for special girls I don't know what made him special playing with girls during recess I, you know, that's one of those where it's just like, I don't even want to, to be honest, the only game I've ever played with little girls in recess is dodgeball, because then it's like fucking punishing them, right? And then you can't misconstrue what's going on at all.

If I'm pelting a little girl full throttle with a fucking dodgeball, no one thinks I'm trying to molester. Definitely not. Definitely not. Not the way I fucking do it, because I cut out their legs. The key is the bullet underneath them fucking cut out their legs, really mash them up, right? fucking double down on

boo, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Teach the little girl just because they're a little girl doesn't mean you can't compete with a man. You gotta get used to it, right? Then he said he would ask girls to sit on his lap, completely inappropriate, especially out of season. You got to be in costume for the season.

So it's either Easter time as a bunny or Christmas time as a Santa. I don't know if there's any other holiday in which we are custom as a society to sitting on a costume man's lap. I think largely it's Easter, Spider-Man's birthday?

I'm trying to think of another day. Lincoln's birthday, they don't do that anymore. No. You never see those guys anymore. I think it's just those two, really. But it's kind of funny, right? We're both of those, even with the Easter, even the Easter bunny thing, I don't particularly understand.

I guess that's because he is a replacement for Jesus Christ, and you would sort of need to, like, I feel like that's the service that we were kind of leaving money on the table for, which is that Jesus. can come you could sit on jesus's lap while he's slathered in blood like jim kivisel jesus fresh from the tomb because at that point jesus'll do anything jesus will give you whatever he'll say whatever it takes to go back they probably have that somewhere oh yeah they gotta have you sit on jesus's life yeah the only only jesus all sitting around is if it's a black jesus

yeah that's my controversial stance for today one of many he also tickled girls And he prays the looks of fourth graders. Now, that's not good. So Andrew McCann, it's kind of a gross guy. They're pretty certain that we have this locked up. Obviously, he is innocent until proven guilty. But right now they're saying that there is DNA that ties him to the crime. They believe that there is other witnesses.

And now they're already attaching him to cold cases in other states, which you know cops love to do. So he is already getting, they think that he's been traveling around as a teacher quite a bit. He went from Oklahoma to Arkansas, to Alabama. He went to all the, and he was doing all of this. So they think that he might be guilty of multiple crimes. And I brought this up last week about, I did not know that teachers had that sort of reputation in terms of being around people. But this is, I got this email from a teacher I wanted to read. I'm listening to this week's side stories, and I thought it would echo Henry's comments about hearing educators saying that public education is rife with drifters, sketchy characters, and general riffraff.

I just got my license in my state. This is Minnesota, summer of 2024, so I'm fairly familiar with the arduous process. Every state is a little bit different in what they require for licensure. However, you don't need a license to work in a school, which is the truth because I was a substitute teacher. Willie-nilly, I was one. I thought that I heard that. Yes, and I did the $100 a day because it was the most money I could get guaranteed in a day. And so I would go and do it, and I remember it was Mr. Zabowski.

I've told this story many times about how being in the first grade. class and the kid in the front row, like, just mimed a gun at me and went, cool. Anybody could be a teacher. And it's fair, and it's not good in that way. Anybody with most of clean black, but this is what she's saying here, this teacher. No convicted felonies technically, mostly clean background checks. So you just have to not be caught for any specific crime. Outside of that, substitutes just need a college degree and a short call, long call sub license, which is what I got. Relevant experience, they say in the content area that they are subbing for. I was never

asked for that. I definitely had to teach a math class, and I had no fucking clue what to do. I have a BA in theater. The only thing I can teach you how to do is how to scrape the last of your resin into a ball thick enough to smoke. That's all I could teach.

And if kids love that. Rules and regulations are only as strong as the people that were enforcing them, according to this teacher. And I had an alarming experience on that front, the first year I was teaching. Many states offer educator licenses and a tier system in order to capitalize on students in teacher prep programs. There is a teacher shortage, after all.

I was on a low-tier license, college degree in content area, or relevant experience in the field, and being currently enrolled in teacher prep. I just landed my first job in the largest district in our state. You can only apply for this license once you get a job offer, and then your school district is supposed to sponsor you through the process. Well, I managed to work for almost an entire year without the rest of the job. relevant license, documents, or paper trail on file with the state and the district. No transcripts from school, no verification I was in a program, no fingerprinting or temp issued

license. I don't even know for sure that they ran a background check. And I only found out when I was chatting with some friends in my cohorts, right, who had some, who had the same license, in theory, not practice, as it turns out. And their experience, quote unquote, getting it was wildly different from mine. So they had to send a sense. apparently one of them had a mail in their fingerprints somewhere. And they said, no one asked me for any of that shit. It's all completely deregulated. I vaguely

remember receiving an email from somebody in the district six or so weeks in my contract asking me about a file number or something to which I said, I don't have that. They said, oh, that's a problem. You can't be teaching unless you do have that. I will inform your principal. Then I never heard about it again.

And I quit at the end of the year, so it became irrelevant. So it's basically saying there's no follow up. So I'm not trying to get people scared. I feel like we're already having a lot of people attack the Department of Education enough. So I do understand that. It's just wild to think that anybody can do anything. When Marcus was going through his lung COVID, how many COVID nurses I met that said they did not believe in COVID that it existed is wild to me.

And they just seemed to be doing it to get out of whatever horrible town they were in to go fuck in Indianapolis. All of these COVID nurses were just. out there fucking and sucking their way across the country. God bless them. Somebody's got to keep our truckers fucking tight and ready to go. So, today, it's just me.

But I'm going to bring some guests in. Maybe you see here, this is my extra large bathing suit that Ed bought me, that he thought that we'd look good together in and we didn't bring it together. There was a pool at the hotel but we didn't get and use it. And it's so hard because this does make me mess Ed

because it makes me think of his lower half. And that was his best half. Because his top half makes all the jokes that make me hang. He's still alive. We'll see. Won't we? Please give your memorial fund to them owe it Henry

Dash Zabrowski. If you could. Some of us are struggling. So now it's time for our first guest. I'm going to bring in a highly notable woman. Yes, a woman. She is both my

lover, my business partner, and my main disciplinarian, Natalie Jean, of some place underneath, an LPN Romanticie. Live from your blade. Now, I'm here with Natalie Jean. Now, I want you do first explain why you're crying because you came in here, you look like you've been crying, and I didn't make you cry. It's stupid. It's stupid TikTok.

It's nonsense. There's no reason that I should be laughing. this hard. I want to look at it. It was a TikTok. Natalie was laughing at before. I get jealous. I get jealous when she laughs at people.

So they're in a pool and they're just walking around a giant cake. The guy in the jet pack. There's a jetpack man just spraying everything with water. It is very ostentatious. And it is very stupid. It's very, very stupid. this guy was the guy in the background just on the jet bag I mean he was a part I believe

he was paid to be a part of this yeah yeah they're just spraying water over all of it I think the guy in the jetpack is the one singing why are they in the water why is their cake in the water I think that this is very is this Dubai there's a dolphin or a penguin barfing water this is what you want to do is this how you want to renew our vows where is that located oh baby we can't afford that wedding

that is definitely some sort of like Middle Eastern royalty or something. Hey, that's where we got to go. That's why we never should have said no to that Saudi Arabian comedy festival money. We should have just went. But don't worry, Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee got it covered. They're going to go

perform directly for the salt in the Saudi Arabia. They did 9-11. Is that true? Yeah, yeah. They did 9-11. Have fun. Whole comedy festival. Are we going? I just want to be asked. I know. Same. I just want to be able to say no. And then I go, I don't want to go anywhere where they would,

I would be invited. I can't even believe that you would ask me. Yeah, it's what I want. It's just one of the opportunity to be above it. Yeah, so I can feel self-righteous. Always. That's all I'm looking for. That's all I want.

So, Natalie, welcome. You run a show called someplace underneath. You also run a show called LPN Romantasy. Yeah. How does it feel? Being here with you. With the hot center of the talent pool here at last podcast network. Well, I,

do think that there's hot talent at last podcast network. Physically warm. But I physically really don't have a lot of choice. That's what I like to hear. You know, it's like I feel like this network, especially after COVID, became the way sometimes a family has to

all work at the same restaurant. Yeah. There was no it was sort of like, you want to keep? You want to make the soup? You have to go, you have. You have to go, You have to go ask customers what they want and write it down and then you have to do the accounting. Grandma might get a soap. You're not going to sell the soap or grandma?

Yeah, you're like the dad from bank factory wedding. Yes, and I'm the no-no as well. And the no-no. You're both. Yes. Well, that's why I have you here today. It's because I can do whatever I want to now. I can do anything I need to.

It sounds a lot more sinister than. It's not sinister. Nothing can be sinister from your husband's mouth. Oh, that's right. I'm your husband. I forgot. And you're cherished partner. Everything is consensual in marriage.

After that first day. But this is the most consensual of all. It's called Making the show. So welcome. Making art together. So I have a story for you for side stories that I actually, this is not disgusting at all. It's actually kind of surprising to me. I have never heard anything about this.

And I just wondered, I don't know if you've ever heard anything about this. I'm going to bring this back up to Eddie, too. Is it going to be gross? No. Oh, that's nice. This is not gross. I actually just thought that this was quite mysterious and very interesting. I've now seen two separate articles, but that's it.

There's no YouTube documentaries. There's no other coverage. I don't know if you maybe even want, you might even want to look it up on TikTok while we're sitting here because I have no fucking clue. So this takes place out of St. Petersburg, Florida. Oh. So that's where we got married and that's where our love was born. O.J. Simpson's favorite hangout.

Yes. And honestly, what I wouldn't have given to have gotten a picture with O.J. on our wedding. No, I told you that would have been an annulment. Did I tell that story? I must have told the story in the air. I think you did. I think you did. Definitely, right? So that, yeah, we just found out that the very lovely hotel that Natalie and I had booked for our romantic night of our wedding was also OJ's favorite hotel, and God, he loved the blonde women in there. The rooftop bar. He had a type. He really did. Yeah, he really did. Yeah, he really

He did. Yeah. It was an alive woman. And then he turned him different. Yeah. So, but that wasn't the only thrill that came out of St. Petersburg. The mini lights come out of St. Petersburg as well. Now, the reason why I'm bringing this up is that this is so eerily similar to Pennywise that I wonder if anybody, if Stephen King had heard about this previously or if our audience had ever heard of this before.

Side stories, LPOTL, gmail.com, if you have. because this is the first time I'm ever hearing about this. So there is a belief, I guess, since about the 80s, that the, what they call the, the sort of like the quarries and the weird drought systems, like all these weird drainage pipe systems that lead from the swamp out into the city are filled with these little creatures called mini lights. And then if you go out at night in St. Petersburg, you might see them And they first start out like little sparkles.

But then, if you say the incantation, mini lights, mini lights come out tonight five times in a row. Really? The little people will emerge and steal the children away. They don't want a better incantation. I feel like I'd be holding out for something better than that. They didn't write it as the glittery lights. Those are the people that's from, now this comes from the Tampa Bay Times.

They just started writing this out. Is this a historical thing? Because you said Stephen King might have heard of it. Well, apparently, according to people interviewed by the Tampa Bay Times, a lot of them were semi-older. There's a folklore side of it that people were saying they're dealing with the crime inside of St. Pete, which is true. You know, St. Pete's got some issues.

Too hot. And also every one of our favorite body cam videos almost always comes from Pinellas County. Oh, so many. So many. Unbelievable, really. So many. What's your favorite body cam video? Ever?

Yeah. Wow. Oh, God. Ooh. I mean, I can't think of one off the top of my head. It's usually the ones I watch is like if it's a pedo getting tackled. That's what you like. You like pedophiles getting tackled. I like Karen's at the airport getting destroyed. I mean, that's fun, too. Yeah. Remember the white lady with the super tight little like,

she had like a haircut and made her look kind of like Brett Farve. And she took down the three guys. And she was like, I'm a CEO. I'm a CEO. Yes, I do vaguely remember that one, actually. Miss her. I love the Universal Studios. Body can't foot. Oh, definitely. Do you ever see the one

with the brother and sister? Oh, yeah. That one's weird. It's slammed up against the minions house. The brother and sister made me feel almost jealous that Jackie and I

have never been kicked out of Universal because you're not trying hard enough. You just very rarely see brother and sister team up to do crimes. Well, what's the holdup? I don't know

because normally brother and sister have crimes done against them. Against them by whom? Father and mother. What? It's true. Most of the time, and sister are subject to the crimes of father and mother.

You never really see brother and sister. Brother and brothers sometimes kill, but very rarely brother's sister. Well, there's famously one. I don't know what other ones you're talking about. There's been other brothers that have killed or other brothers that have killed will have either, I guess you could say the Amityville, the Defeo house, if you do believe that Ronnie Defeo had help from his other sister. I don't even know that theory. You know that theory that she might have been in on it, that the other sister might have been one of the people helping him? And that's why everything kind of went unnoticed

and the end he turned on her and shot her. Oh, no, but what's the, where's the proof of that? I just, just having fun? Natalie, I just said it. I just said it. I don't think you understand. I just said it. No, Ronnie Defeo said that.

He could say anything. Of course. Yeah, you said a lot of stuff. That's why there's five, so there's 12 movies. They did great. Randy Defeo had a lot of great ideas. I don't know if he had the...

Killing his family was one of the best things ever happened to that family. It was a good pitch. Yeah. Yeah. You're, hey, this is my show. You don't got to worry about me. I never do. I never do.

So according to the mini lights, this is in Campbell Park. Like, this reporter spoke to a lot of people. So most people who knew about the mini lights, they said they're from Gen X. Some versions of the legend dated back to the 1940s. And that's what they, this, according to this man, a guy named Denny Smarrow, he said he first heard about the mini lights when he was 10. I've seen a lot of things coming up as a child, he said. said. I seen a small creature and it was like floating and I don't know what it was. And I never did go back and tell anybody about it.

And then she, Alexis Walker says, absolutely. She knew exactly what the reporter was talking about because she said that she grew up near Booker Creek and was forbidden to go down there because, quote, the many people will jump out and they will chase you. Did her children know the lesson? This is from this woman. She said, the younger ones don't, but my 11 and 13 year old boys do. they want to go find them. Is the, okay, I think it's great. I love it. I do wonder, is this just

probably something to do with some runoff from some chemical plant? I mean, who knows? They have to make into like a whimsical experience instead of telling people it's like. There's on, this is apparently on Urban Legends of Florida.com. I love it.

Right? Several people, they talked about the story. One described a woman who lived in Campbell Park in a nice house Because they say that the mini lights used to be the subjects of a local witch that were slowly but surely turned into spirits like Ursula's poor unfortunate souls. Uh-huh. Right? So they become weird spirits.

Got it. They described a woman who lived in Campbell Park, right, and in a nice house. But the city turned land in front of her home into a park and she was angry. She was somehow affiliated with the circus and had little people living with her, two men whom she would send out after dusk to ward off trespassing. In this story, the men would turn into balls of light, right? Other posts say that the mini lights lived under the bridge in Booker Creek in the Rosa Park neighborhood. This does sound like something the, you know, Tylenol Corporation would plant as a mythology as to why there's like radiation in the water. But this is before it was fully developed.

San Petersburg was not developed as developed as we've seen it. You don't think they got a bunch of runoff from somewhere. Who knows? Maybe not at that time, right? So we have another guys. The Vitale brothers, this group, Johnny and Paul, they're muralists. They're trying to make a movie about the mini lights.

I believe I saw a chunk of that movie. It's not good. And they said it's going to be told it sort of a weird movie. It's not good. Film them. It's not their fault, but it still was under their control. And there's another version of the story that a woman was a voodoo priestess. And the mini lights were under her controls.

And they called her back in the. day, mini lightning. Oh, mini lightning! Yeah, a little sprinkle of racism in there. No, I mean, I don't know. We don't know. You, not you, babe. No, but never you.

Both of the people that are talking about this are of African-American descent. Good, great. Love that. It seems to mostly be within the African-American community. It was another one, Many Lights, Many Lights, and Rosa Park. This is from 2017.

So one article, this article I'm referencing, this came out last week. But then the last time this was mentioned was like eight years ago. that I could find. And they're all saying this, that this was a deeply embedded story within the African-American population of St. Pete.

And they've all talked about this idea of these bridges, these, this is literally right by where we were. I don't know if you recognize these areas, this like little drainage pit. No, is that what those are? Is it like, do they fill up like in L.A. Occasionally?

Water runoffs. I'm pretty certain this, yes, this is water. There's like a lot of swamp-ish area. It's underwater. Florida's going to go away. Yeah. Florida's not, Florida's going to be the first real casualty.

It's how wet the air is. It's wet. It's damp to the touch. Oh, yeah. How does water, how does air become so thick? It cools down. It becomes water. Oh.

That's what clouds are. Thanks, husband. I'll tell you a lot of other things later, wife. Okay. So someone says, but he can't save. You say it three times. Many lights, many lights come out tonight. Three times.

the minis will come and there are grown men according to this article that are still scared I love a forest witch myth or I mean real you seem to be but I will say very true but this is the type of story that I would consider you to really believe in and what you know you don't seem to I want to believe like that show I love it I love I love the idea of it but I'm not necessarily super intrigued by just this idea. But this is also very interesting. This reporter lived in St. Pete area.

Up to that point, I'd never heard of it, right? I'd never talked about this. And then one night was walking his dog with his girlfriend. And it connected to what they were doing because no one knew who they were. A group of teenagers

stopped their car as they were walking and said, mini lights, mini lights come out tonight at them and they were like looked at them and they were like do you know what we're talking about and the reporter was like actually I do and then they drove off

wow yes so they're still trying to scare white people out of there I mean I think that's super fun I like that idea I will say that that might be the key here which is trying to keep it from getting as gentrified as it did unfortunately little white kids on YouTube are going to eat that

up. Oh yes. It looks like this goes back pretty far into the past as an urban legend that parents used to tell their kids so that they would get home before it got dark. Well, they've been saying that for forever, right? And then they also do point out in this article that St. Petersburg is one of the largest alligator farming cities in

America and that around this time a lot of people were bringing baby alligators home and releasing them in those water ways. And if you are in Florida at all at night and you are on the coastline or if you're by the swamp, It is true.

You do sometimes look out there and you see the little points of light. Well, that sounds like then those are gators. Yes. So it's very possible that's gators too. Everything always becomes gators in Florida. Yeah, because they're fucking dinosaurs that they live next to. So, yeah, I think that that should always be the culprit because it's a fucking barely evolved killing machine that everybody's just fine with. Technically a lot scarier than little sprinkly lights that we don't know about.

Unless the aliens. Is that what you think? Yeah. I also saw this other... This also came from Florida. It was a video of aliens. Oh, I forgot to show this to you, Rob. It's aliens.

Said it to me. Not this one. This is a guy who won't wipe. Here's another guy from Tampa. Thanks for not giving me that one. My name is J. Teedy dog. I'm out there for the Bush Gardens. I didn't wipe.

I didn't bat. I remember last time I did any of that. You did play the no wipe. one. Yeah. I gotta get stanky up in bushguards, man. Stake your time. That's the other video I said, man.

Stanky up in here. It's my only, it was my only ask as your bride. Don't bring me the butt ones. Well, Natalie doesn't, I'm just sending this to you on Instagram, Rob. Okay. Just, oh, never mind, no, this is California. God, fuck. The other one was Florida.

The other one was Florida. Florida. I love that guy. He doesn't wipe. Yeah, no. That other guy says he doesn't bath and he doesn't wipe and he drinks nothing but hard lemonade. He gets so itchy. The whole thing is he gets stanked up on places and he tries to stank up places and he gets thrown out for being too stinky. So he intents, he wants to be stinky. That's his bit. That's a bit. Well, yeah, according to him. He might be mental illness. Might be a little bit of a lifestyle choice. He's stanked up. Yeah. Hey, not me. He's fine. He's finding his stinky princess. I'm anti-stank. I smell good y'all

You do smell good Yeah You ain't smelly Yeah I try I clean So I guess in the very end You're not really gonna edify this Are you

Do you want me to Yes Edify it isn't an Ed Larson No Yeah Yeah that's perfect No saying it's true You gotta say it's true

I You gotta say it's true Do I don't say it's not true Perfect. Yeah. Thank you, Natalie, Gene, for being here for today's story with you. Go and listen to someplace underneath.

One of the best shows we have on this network. It's about LDS crimes right now. Yeah, almost done. Almost done. Episode 41 is where we are finishing this season, which is... It's very thick. It's insane. That's very, very thick.

You've done a lot of work and you've done a lot of great work. Oh, thanks. I got claps. There you go. Yeah. Really good. And then I'll check on LPN Romantasy, but I can't talk about all those sex stuff with my sister.

No. I would prefer that to not be the way. I'd talk about it with you all day. You. Give the audience a thrilled. Tell them what it's like to rock it in bed with me. No. Absolutely not. That was your opportunity.

It's pretty great. What I do in there? It's pretty great. I love you. Goodbye. from your grave. First of all, Jake Young is here sitting with me from Nerd of Mouth. His own YouTube channels is Twitch channel.

You, if you want to toss out your Twitch channel. Oh, I do. I have a V-Tuber avatar. Are you familiar, Henry? I am. Do you want one? We can make it happen for it. I've asked for it, but it's difficult.

It's difficult to do. No, no, it's fine. It's fine. I'll slap one together for it. Anyway, Twitch.com TV slash puppet Jared on Thursday nights. We watch weird bad cartoons and have a blast. But check that out. Also, nerd-a-mouth, like you said.

Jake. Ashley Biden's getting divorced. Which Biden is Ashley Biden? She's the, I want to say she was purchased from the Chinese. No. She's natural born. Oh. One of the Biden's just got divorce is breaking news.

And I need your first report. And how does this reflect upon the Biden legacy? As long as she doesn't just like actively make. everything worse forever. She's a net positive. Did you watch the Hunter Biden report? Check it out. Yeah, go check it out.

Did you watch that Hunter Biden thing? I saw clips of it. And honestly, it was refreshing because, like, your mental image of Hunter Biden is just like, you just hear the stories. You hear about the crack and the prostitutes and the dick pics and the weird music joints. And then you meet him and he tells all the same stories.

Yeah. That's the best part. But coherently, like a person, not like this weird cloud of like, I just, you know, cigarette hanging out of the mouth, just like, you just expect this, like, jelly-like fucking fool. Yeah. But the fact that he just has, like, eyeballs and an actual voice was disconcerting. He's my favorite presidential son ever. He's my favorite.

No one's ever made me want to try crack more. Just hearing him talk about crack and how, you know what it was, too? When he was on crack, he has the single best smile. I've seen on a crack head. Like his, that that $10,000 smile he had with that

with the fucking full on crack pipe was like, like he looked amazing. How are you doubting that crack isn't fucking amazing? I just, I did,

yes, I knew it was amazing, but when I saw that it, it's so good that a presidential son had to go figure out how to cook it in order to get it,

because it's like a president's son doesn't have to do anything. They don't have to do anything. That's the point of Crack. But I'm saying. The point of crack is the point, like, the most dizzying pleasure, the most intense joy.

Like, I don't know, like, fucking winning the Olympics and then being handed your newborn son. Cracks better. Literally. Like, your brain is only supposed to feel, like, it can only produce so much joy. Cracks better than winning a Nobel Peace Prize. Crack is better than winning the lottery and having your dad say he's sorry. Crack's great. And that's what?

It also realized, too, about that? You could dip in and dip out. Except Hunter Biden did say that was kind of very interesting that I didn't know. That term, I think he said it's like euphoric, bounce back. There was like a term that he used that he's like, I, in my program, I, he's like, I wish I could give you fun cracked stories. But he said, but if I begin to recount how much I love crack, I will just start smoking crack again. I was like, shit, cracks great. I feel this, so the same phenomenon you're talking about, I feel about Diet Coke.

So like, what the fuck am I? Like, it'll destroy me. Coke heavy. Have you ever dallyed back in a, you know what I had the other day? It's been so long. This is how sad my fucking life is. I had a full sugar sink, Dr. Pepper and Cream Soda combo one. And I thought I was going to fucking come.

I was like, that's crack. Like, that's amazing. That's how sad and empty my fucking experiences are. why you can't do crack because it's like you're just the baseline joys are already too much. Yeah dude. We weren't built to handle super joy. No.

Omega level joy. Or should we all be on crack? Would we equalize? So I always wondered about this and this is such a stupid stoner thought and I'm sure anybody with actual knowledge would be like, fuck no you fucking idiot. Yeah, it'd be angry. But like in a world where coffee was illegal or even caffeine was illegal, would

I like drink a cup of coffee and feel that deliriously happy for the first time. And now that it's just like a part of my daily routine and it's available everywhere. Oh yeah sure. You're just built. It's just fine. So like if they had, if crack what, if I could go to my local Starcrak and

get a crackiotto, like, would it be fine? Would I just be buzzing and like, you know, just feeling my thing? Portland's got some great crack lattes that you can really try out. You're trying to wait crack house? Is that one? I usually have the crunch through them. That's the hardest part. Oh, great. Rob just found a bunch of Etsy.

stores to just have shirts that says i heart crack hoars and i heart crack what a great i know what everybody's getting for christmas this year all right so i got a story for you oh the biden thing was no that was just oh my god i just heard yeah i did make it to the podcast breaking news love is it real so this is a story i want to read um from the perspective of a um Like, imagine I am a nighttime anchor, and you are my, well, you know, you're my CNN correspondent. So I... Do I get like a smart board? Can I hurry into this? Yes.

I mean, it won't show up. But this comes from law and crime. A Texas man is facing criminal charges for allegedly confronting two young girls in an elementary school parking lot, wearing a diaper with a pacifier around his neck and nothing else, while allegedly, shouting, go-go-guga, I need a diaper change. Now, this young man, if you can see right here, has got a, this wonderful up-and-comer is just, he couldn't be more innocent, if he asked me. The girls were frightened. And he said accordingly after they said, no, please leave us alone, he followed up with a, will you change my diaper for me? Gu-gu-Gaga, I need a diaper change.

now my thing is chair okay the chair if you want him to have the chair you want to get the electric chair we have to create a world in which we can just like let children let

girls exist in the world without having to be like all right now listen there might be some diaper guys and you're just going to have to learn like I don't want to give my future like nieces the fucking diaper guy talk to be honest I think some full grown men need to be warned about the diaper

guy. I could be warned. So it says court director. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We are, at this point in our lives, we are fully in the diaper guy demographic. Oh, I was joking over the weekend of how my age, when you're like, so now I'm 41, I'm now fully in the

the man category, such as like don't touch the man, get away from the man, the man, get out of the man's way. Like, that's what mothers say to children. They're visibly frightened of me just by my presence. And they go like, away from the man. That's me. I'm the man.

Honestly, I'm going to say this. Fuck this guy. Fuck diaper man. I am a, I am a disheveled schlubby bald man. Yes. I am middle age schlubby bald man. Whenever there is something going on, I have to be like, am I giving off weird vibes? Am I like being gross? Am I like, and it's something I have to think about because like these fucking dudes are ruined it for for the innocent schlubs. Now Jake, just because of side stories, come with me on this. I'll come with you anytime. Thank God. Side stories at LPN.com. Let's just say, what if we're wrong? And maybe it's about embracing another side of yourself and that maybe you're afraid to be the goo-go-go-gag-gag-big-daperfield baby that you want to be. And that maybe this guy's

figured something out because, I mean, obviously he's been arrested for. for multiple times for stalking and for following children home from school and for having his public masturbation, you know, like, this needs to happen in elementary school. Yeah, I'm just saying he got caught. He said one time he was caught, they said it was for ludin lascivious behavior in front of a school, and he said he was just checking to see if his diaper was full. And I think that in many ways, that's understandable, especially when you're a baby man on the go, especially if you have several jobs.

Let's say you're a baby CEO or you're a baby CEO. or you're a baby. A boss baby? Yeah. Yes. Or a disposal worker baby. A male baby. Or you're some kind of, oh, look at that young man.

Look at that young man being escorted from the jail. Now, you know, why is he, why does he look like you just like took the word depression and made it into a man? It's because he is an undiper diaper diaper band, and that when he doesn't have his diaper on him and he's going, go, go, go, gaga, I need a diaper change. he's fairly serious. You know, I, because we know, you know, I'm certain because we're all

fucked that we have been around the adult baby diaper lover community for quite a long time. We know that the adult baby diaper lover community doesn't like these type of people. And I think partially part of the problem is not being in character of being a baby.

I think that if you approach somebody in an adult manner and say something along the lines of, go-go-gagga, I had a full diaper or go-go-gaga, baby wants some milk, and you say it in that way, it's not the same. Hello there, pardon me. I know this is weird, but I need to get to the bus. Yes, of course. Anyway, Google Gaga, I am a baby.

Could you please change me? Oh, absolutely. Me, your mommy and me want to make sure a baby dry. Oh, thank you. Oh, bro. Thank you so much. I'm sorry. Mommy.

Thank you. Thank you, mommy. I feel like... You really did me a solid, Mommy. Well, it looks like you did me more of a liquid. Yes, no. I wish that... Partially it's about...

I think it's almost like K-Fabe. It's about staying in character. If your baby... Then be a baby. Don't be a man acting like a baby. Like, in order for me... to change you. So you're saying if he had crawled

to the elementary school. I am not even joking. And if he was fully as a little. If he was fully as a baby, we'd all be forced, this is the ACLU matter. You know what I mean? If he, this is, if he's

actually a baby in his mind, then it's an expression of something within. I feel like, and this, I'm going to, I'm I'm going to be real with you. If we allow for just like some people to just be like, I am a baby, I am a baby now.

You're just going to have people check out of just the fucking capitalist hellscape. We do have that. There are adult baby diaper lover, like completely like innocent crews where they go and they just have baby. They go to, they live in a mother baby world. You're still talking. Consenting adults being babies. And confined allow. And obviously, yes, of course.

in an adult consenting place, you can be as baby as you want. Because they're babies, though. No, they had to purchase cruise tickets and they had to pay taxes and they had to... When they were in a baby. And then one day when they arrive and they donned

the diaper and are now baby and they're... Oh, you're trying to leave? No. No, I just feel like a dip shit. I just feel like history's greatest monster. Baby. Every baby. Like, I guess that's the thing is that if you just are if you're because you know colbert always said where your

character is light as a cap i think if you're a baby and you want other people to treat you as such it's got to be a bit heavier than that honestly i get i get the vision that to gain the benefits of the baby to be truly freed from the responsibilities to like fully regress to a place where like even pooping is handled for you you are you are totally and completely innocent and taken care of and you are surrendering any and all adult faculties to live the baby life, there should be

downsides. Exactly. You are locked in. You're in a crib. Yeah, you're in a crib. You have a bedtime. You're like, oh, fuck, I got it by groceries. You're like, babies can't drive. Babies can't talk. Baby, yeah, you're I thought you were a baby. Because if not, I'm done cleaning up your fucking

shit. Gary? Yeah. If you're not a fucking baby, if you're a man, that you act like a goddamn man. You don't get... Okay, okay, so it's the idea of just opting in and out that you get to freely walk between the worlds. Oh, you get to be some day walker.

Yeah. That's what this is. You're a man walker? They call themselves Littles. Yeah, I know the Littles thing. We've been through this many times before. I'm already going to get the emails because I do understand. ABDL World is fine.

I do get that it's like, again, which I said... Who doesn't get it? Who doesn't get it? Of course we get it. It's, again, It's not the baby thing. It's not the diaper thing. It's the fucking terrorizing elementary school kids.

What I have said in here before. That is really the issue that we are. Yeah, of course. Yes, Jake. Yes. So like I said, it's about the children. We'll just fucking, I just grab some loose gauge wire, plug it into a fucking metal folding chair and push them on to it.

I completely agree. You know what it is too is that, again, if you're adult baby diaper lover, I don't think that you should be arrested I don't think it should be illegal I don't think you should even be frowned upon but it might be one of those should be smiled at maybe even cooed I think it'd be one of those things

you could maybe keep to yourself and maybe that maybe it's just we'll all know by the crinkle you know like maybe we'll know it like how you how they knew where Biden was in the White House by the sounds of the diaper and they were like

it was like his cat bell 93% of them are male Of course Yeah Obviously That is Obviously God

I always wonder about that Is like Outside of like material concerns Outside of like Power dynamics or money How many women are going around Being like I would love to clean an adult man's poop

In a sexual manner That is something I am electing to do From my own proclivities Takes an angel That's a thing That's a special angel That is someone doing you a favor. Oh, nobody is out there being like...

Side Stories at gmail.com. Yeah, sidestores, L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com, please. And also, if you find someone that's willing to wipe your duke and fucking help you clean all your pee-pee off of you and powder you up and stuff, you act like a man for five minutes and you get that woman to marry you. I feel like I've been all over the place, but I literally co-host a retro nostalgia fucking talk show. I understand the infinite desire to regress. Oh, I don't. Believe me.

That's not the issue. It's really just the... It's this. It's the children. And you know what, again? It's the adult presentation. Go-go-go-ganga. I need a diaper change.

Is, again, try harder. That's all I ask. Yeah, yeah. Lie to me. Play a character. Jake, thank you so much for being here. This was absolutely perfect, and I'm glad you came. Jake Young, host, Nerd of Mouth.

Check it out. go check it out now if you could be a little more adamant if you could just really now yeah listen to him get your fucking ass yes over the nerd of mouth I'll set fire your home I'll take it

go go go go go and now for our final guest I'm sitting with comedian and restaurant tour Grant Gordon hi the restaurant's on fire it's bad it's bad it's bad should not

left. No. He was a chef. There was a rush. Just me. And now we have. Listener emails. Yeah! Oh, yeah! Email. God, I love that stinger. I love that fucking stinger.

We're going to have to eventually replace it, but all these cars are giving other people shots. God damn, I love that fucking. That's what the internet was supposed to be. God damn it. Really good. Really good. How are you? I'm great.

How are you? I'm fine. I'll talk later. I'm fine. Honestly, I feel really good. I'm just tired. Yep. Um, I've been having a lot of crazy extreme nightmares.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Otherwise, doing great. Isn't that part for the course? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I mean, extreme for you must be really intense. You know, honestly, I don't have, like, horrific nightmares. Okay. I don't have horrific nightmares.

Okay. They're always just, like, pretty standard. Sure. Who's angry? Everybody's angry at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, like, I'm trapped on the very top of a mountain and I can't get off of it. I'm literally like, I have a recurring dream where I am the very,

very, very top of the peak of a mountain. I'm grabbing around the cone of the very, very peak of a mountain and I'm stuck on it, and I can't get off. See, I was funny, because I would see you as under a mountain of friends carrying the... No, no, no, that's different. That was what we doing at Murder Fest.

All right, so I'm going to read a couple of these emails, and let's just go through them. Let's hear him. Let's hear the voice of the people. All right, so... After I mentioned that it seemed like the people attached to the gun and cat listener emails. So I feel like this was... We've done a couple of these emails about

bosses carrying guns sure and like it seemed way more like when we were younger like I saw a lot more like my the Hollywood video the manager showed me where she kept the gun and I was 15 years old and I was like I'm not going to

kill somebody for sweet home Alabama you know I don't care they can have it yeah sure you know so they didn't rewind it's fine it's fine yeah all right we go Now, when you work in a blue collar, primarily construction in HVAC, you'd be surprised by how much time you have in your hands with waiting on parts, slowly building parts, and spending a full eight hours working on a unit that could have been completed in two. I used to work with the guy who would smoke an entire blueberry swissure blunt while actively trying to fix the unit outside.

He got me high enough once that I essentially forgot how to put PVC pipe together. I was dead and fumbling around in the dark. I was so high. around the time I work with a man that we will call Billy whose one love in life was crystal meth he would be so excited when we forgot a piece of scrap metal that was needed for air duct which means that once he got there he could rip two to three lines of meth if he was really feeling it

he'd light that meth pipe right up and spend a good 45 minutes enjoying one quote I remember vividly is him looking to me you know you're a real man when you can't stop the tears after ripping a line of meth crystals Have you ever done math? No, I haven't. And I didn't know what made you so emotional. What's the most extreme drug you've ever done?

The Toad, Bufo. Oh, that's... We'll talk about this stuff. Yeah, yeah. Eventually, the guy who smoked weed all the time was fired. But he was a black man, but not Billy. Full country heck. Yeah, yeah.

And he can't get fired. Oh, no. He kept this job and got a raise out of it. Billy was actually the most talented H-FAC mechanic I've ever known. He could have been a contender. So maybe there's one point. on board for meth. I always asked him how he was so large doing meth that often.

He looked back to me. He looked at it to me and he's the state, you just got to force yourself, there's nothing else to it. So he's saying he just would force himself to eat. That's incredible. It's huge. This guy had huge discipline. That's not what you're associated with addicts.

Well, because I know people already that have eaten their way through their Rose Empic. Sure. Oh, really? A member of my family ate their way through two gastric bands. powered their way. Just eating the band. Just literally till it popped, and then they ate the band, dude. Like, I'm talking, I didn't know you could do that.

That's fucking strength. Nobody knows what that's like, right? And as I was born in rural Mississippi, both of these people had a fully stocked and well-regarded weapons collection. There was an entire different guy that I worked with that carried his gun everywhere, with it always visible. He, of course, did not possess a concealed carry permit. We would stop at lunch and go get a hammered before coming back to work.

I'm 16 years old at this point. I like what his first could play was things take too long here. Yeah. Boy, are we. It's a lot of time to kill. You know. What was, are you maybe a part of the problem, buddy?

What was Bufo like? Now, I know people that have done Ayahuasca. I know people that have done all the angel trumpets. And it's an angel trumpets, yeah. But you went and did Bufo. And then I remember you were saying something along the lines of that it made you not want to drink alcohol anymore. Mm-hmm. But you still drink.

I did. I just went back. Yeah, but I didn't, I could have stopped. It gave me an off ramp for sure. Not that I have like a problem, but I could have stopped. Not that he is a problem. Okay, that's not. That's what people would problem saying. Not that he's a problem. What am I? Who am I, Billy? I can push through anything. Yeah, no, it was. I don't remember much of what happened. Except I faced the nexus of existence and non-existence. And I was a little bit afraid to not exist. That's really a lot. And then I don't remember what happened. Then I opened my eyes and felt like I was seeing God or I was. full of God or something like that. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Was it that it was that powerful then? Yeah. And would you say that you I mean obviously I mean sincerity is the worst thing that we could probably be doing here but also but I wonder like do you feel like it was real in that way? I'd say the most tangible thing that I can say to this day that I could take away from it I am I'm good around kids now. You were worried yeah you were worried I was I was like I was worried about kids judging me all the time I was like I was like I was like

trying to like perform well because their kids are literally the most eviscerating critics of your yeah and i and i and i i was like trying bringing to a kid my shit of like needing to be approved or something like that i know exactly and i and i just say this as a canary in the coal mine of who knows knows what else it erased but for me to be able to see a kid and just see play and jump on board and play with the kids i'd say that's a that's a tangible difference i mean you should probably know the kids yeah i i don't know it should be every patch of kids, you see. I see a group of kids, and boy, my leg starts

are going. I'm going to play with them. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah. So what are they, so they extract it from a frog? Yeah, or like they drop, do they milk it?

No, no, no, no. They milk the glands, the poison glands. Is it like it's tits? No, it's like it's balls, more like side balls, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's Bufo the name of the substance?

Bufo Alvari. Rillis is the name of the species of toad, I believe. Wow. Yes. And so the toads are just there? They're just there. Look at there they are, man. Did you see any of the frogs?

No, but you know, the lady, you know, who administered said. The frog milker. Yeah, she wasn't milking. No, no, no, no. She's like, no, no, no, no. We have somebody with really small mouth for them. Javier handles that. No, she was deaf.

It was definitely like an L.A. experience. I was in Malibu. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You were not in. It was very nice. No, no, the Bufos that were there were there for pilot seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you need, like, a shaman or, like, someone to watch over you? Absolutely, yes, it should be a ceremony. It should be taken with respect and as a sort of medicinal, medicinal type energy, I feel like is a must. Honestly, that's, I mean, and a sacred. A sacred. Space. They made, she made me, you know, she saged you.

She made you say like a kind of a, kind of a prayer, you know, and then you went, and then the music, and then, you know, yeah. But that all is important, I think. Yeah, you know, because it puts you in the right frame of my mind. Well, if you read anything about psychedelics, it's all about context set and setting. Utterly, and I believe the ideas like nowadays, I actually feel like I've been doing mushrooms too cavalierly. Absolutely. But I've also been not doing them to the extent in which I experience a full-on hallucination anymore.

Pierce the membrane anymore, yeah. I'm kind of always... I don't know if I could do that with mushrooms anymore. They're too, too, I don't have the sea legs anymore for him. Well, you know, rocky for me. I just feel like we're under a lot of pressure. Yeah, we are. It's not the same anymore, guys.

Here we go. Yeah. Using the litter. Great. Your topic about the Danish mermaid statue brought a smile to my face, bringing forth a war memory of my youth. We talk about in Copenhagen, they had taken down a statue they believed was pornographic

because the mermaid had two nice of breasts. And everyone got really angry about how big and perky and awesome the tets were. And so they took the... Unrealistic. Yes, that's what he said. Those are a mermaid. They took it down. And then I've now had people even saying after the fact that they

thought it was just because it was a poorly done statue and it's not a great statue it was poorly done in a way I mean those are very those are very generically great tits though so those are yes no right they stay in the movie they're 13 year old drawing of tits though they stay yeah yeah yeah that's what we need movies need more of those we all want to fuck a mermaid what is that I you know you know you know why it's because you don't got to worry about getting it pregnant well right because she would lay a bunch of eggs and you'd have to come on them you'd have to come on the eggs right yeah yeah So as long as it's actually the one type of lady that is guaranteed to not get pregnant

in the way if you come inside them. Huh. That's the fantasy. Really unpack that fantasy. You're welcome. Take that Carl Young. You do have to go at the very sharp fish vagina. I think so.

I think so. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's just me. I love Little Norman. I feel like you end up saying that a lot. Yeah. I actually just, oh, God. God damn it.

I actually do need it. We need to cut it. We'll have to kind of go through this. We'll have to go through this. All right, here we go. So I was bright-eyed. I was a hopeful 14-year-old and a big family trip to Puerto Penaasco, Mexico. It was my parents and I, a few aunts, uncles, and cousins haphazardly packed into two church fans tearing across Mexico towards our destination, a beautiful hotel right on the beach.

We were there for about a few days. Several of my male cousins and I alternating between our and the neighboring hotel pool and the beach, trying our best to hit on as much and as many older women on vacation and running around without much adult supervision. Nice. Wow, yeah, took a turn there. Okay, sure. One morning, one of my cousins and I got up earlier than everyone else and snuck off to the beach to watch the sunrise and to have a nice, unsupervised swim in an empty Mexican beach. I'm swimming out, having a good time, and enjoying the cool water when suddenly there's a girl.

Look to be in her early 20s, swimming nearby. I naturally I swam over to say hello she's a beautiful blonde with a gorgeous green eyes swimming gracefully in her red bikini top I get within earshot and I say hola got you more attention and bashful smile we're treading water for a few minutes without a word between us

when I notice her top slipped off of one of her breasts I can say with complete confidence that mermaid statue is a fair representative of what I saw that morning. Just absolutely perfect things. I was the luckiest 14-year-old that morning. Flabbergasted trying not to gawk.

I motioned with my hand that her top slipped or warned her. Oh, yeah, sure. Oh, we got to stop this. She just continues to look at me not understanding what I'm saying, just staring into my eyes. Then breaking the charm, I hear a distant voice calling my name. name.

Larry! Hey! Hey, Larry, get staring at them ticks. Get away from that naked woman. Oil my back, Larry! Now, I'm shocked at how far I had ended up from the shore.

Right? I wave back to him, assuring him I'm headed back, and I turn around to tell the girl we should head back. But I am greeted by an empty horizon and quiet, lapping of the waves. It was a horizontal horizon, unfortunately. Yep. Yes.

I'd take a moment to look around for her before swimming back in a daze. When I finally get to shore, I asked my cousin if you saw the girl I was swimming with, and he responds with, no, bro, what are you talking about? Hey! Oh, whoa. I spent the rest of the trip trying to convince him of what I saw and watching the sea for any signs of her. Heartbroken, we left Puerto Ponyasco a couple of days later, and I've never got to see that mermaid again.

To this day, I tell people I've seen a mermaid who was potentially trying to lure me out into the open sea. I say, let the man keep his statue. The world deserves to see what I saw that day. And that's what I like. You know what I'll say? He remembered those tits so thoroughly. I'll always remember a story I'll give him this. I mean, because this is a true story, obviously, 100% percent.

Sure. To this person, right? Yeah, yeah. This is a story that I love, it's near and dear to my heart. I remember one time I was walking down the street of downtown. I was in New York. and I happened to see what appeared to be a very elderly

Asian woman in her face elderly Asian woman she had the two bags of recycling on the stick on her they care a lot about the planet they really care about the planet but then I noticed

she happened to be wearing a completely see-through shirt and she had two and I am not exaggerating when I say the best tits I've ever seen get out of here on a person ever but her legs were also the spot

finally old legs of a old woman. Very old woman. Interesting. But she had two, perfect. Breasts. And I will never forget them. Well, of course not. I will never forget the because they were so.

They were out of Congress. Yeah, the contrast. I felt like I had seen a gin. Yeah. Like I thought I had seen like a magical thing. Hansi, why you're trying to sleep just in the corner. Yeah, yeah. She's just like cruel face spitting on the ground with a cigarette hanging out.

And they're just too like, bongong. That could have, wow. Yeah. you could have been lured into something. That could have been a gin or something. I don't know. Have you ever seen anything like that? Just a perfect pair of tits on some sort of mound of ugly type of thing?

No. Well, not just in general. Not just in general, but I just mean in certain of them, like, you know, you've ever seen a spooky stare of tits? Mystery tits. No, I think I've just been to, like, a bunch of, like, Burning Man type after festivals. Oh, sure. Like, you know, and like hippie stuff. Ever been to juggalo?

Oh, we've been to the... I haven't gone dark. You know, we stay in the light cosplay version. But don't boobies get sunburned hard? Yeah, they're not good tits. I can't say no, yeah. I just mean, in terms of you want to really

SPF them up. Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah, and there are many guys willing to help, you know? Too many. You don't have to. Most of them. You know? They'll just roll up.

Yeah. Heard you need help, lotion your tits. They probably have a shirt wearing like tits suntan lotion or. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. I just feel like that there's something too. what this boy is saying.

Now I'm M. Yeah, there's something to it, as in he was masturbating his room in Puerto Rico and created a very interesting little thing to jerk off to. I was listening to a thing today that I did not know that people use horrible chat GPT to write out sexual scenarios for themselves. And they have chat GPT sort of like help complete it. Yeah, yeah, like sex stories. Like it can write a whole sex fantasy for you.

Yes, but apparently it's not supposed to do like penetrative sex. Like, it's not supposed to write hard core. I don't know what Chad GBG you're talking to. It's all right when you're talking to, because mine's a freak. Do you not do, do you believe, do you feel like that maybe someone could see something mysterious and actually have it be true or no? Do you think that because of the psychedelics that you've experienced that maybe there's something to seeing something like this, something truly on the edge of reality? Yes. But I do think it's more internal, more like you're like, you know, more like coincidences, more like your eyes being in a place that was seeing something relevant to really unique to your situation.

Sometimes I'll project tits out. You'll just see tits? Well, just the idea, have you ever thought about the idea of being with a very, very old woman and then think about if you're with the very, very old woman? And if you have a picture of when she was young, you could project the young version of her onto the old version. You can't say I have. He's talked about this before You have? Yeah, I mean, so you're taking a poll, you're trying to see if you're not the only

one. I don't know. Like, yeah, just It's a power you could develop. You ever masturbates a black and white pictures? Can't say I have. No, I'm a more of a color guy. Think about it. Honestly, I want to masturbate it to nothing, you know? What do you mean? Like, just the sensation.

Whoa. I didn't allow myself a single thought. That's true. Just the physiological act. of it. No, that's scary. That's too much. That's frightening me. You draw the line there? Yeah, that's frightening to me. That's interesting. I don't know where that would go. It went to the same place it always does. Yeah, I know, but I feel

like I would just like, I'd scary. I feel like I time travel or something. I wanted to experiment with the, you know, it's like, this is just a physiological thing. You know, your brain, although your brain is the highest erogenous zone, I mean, your penis is also an erogenous zone. So perhaps you could completely detach the brain from the entire endeavor.

And it was a little, I, it pulled it off once, pun intended, I guess. you know side stories L POTL at e-mail.com does anybody else ever done this I can't can't do it it's called Zen jerkin dude whoa you should write your book that's the book Zen in the art of masturbation yes

wow I came and it was nothing that's perfect I came and it was nothing and it meant nothing it meant absolutely nothing wow this is really well we really learned a lot edifying Really, really, really good episode today.

I don't care what anybody says. Inside your own head. Live every day known for a fact that, yeah, you might not have had a plan yesterday, but you certainly got one today, right? You can love the fact that that plan is going to get done no matter what because time's a constant. And then you can love the fact that the never-ending flow of time means eventually it will all end. And that's actually a comfort to a lot of people. Yeah.

Yeah. That's me. It's a screaming. But what about Reincarnation? Then you're back again. Sorry, buddy. I don't want to be a bog. And action.

I don't want to be a goddamn bog. I don't want to be a fucking elephant. Patreon.com slash last podcast and love. You want to give us money to watch us do this. You're going to watch Grant. You're going to watch Grant. You're going to fall in love with Grant all over again. No matter what anybody says.

You're going to, Grant's can be your favorite comedian. Soon. Very soon. He's in commercials. Right? Yeah, sure. You're in the progressive commercials. You were in the...

Were you in State Farm? No, but you can't do both. You got one or the other on that. You can't do both. Of course not. It's exclusive. You can't do insurance, but I was the Bush Mobile guy. It doesn't matter.

Everyone remembers I was the Boost Mobile guy. Yes. It was me and then Pitbull. Wow, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's it paying out? Not great. I mean, they tried me.

And they said, let's go back to what works. Yeah. You know what I would have chosen you because, in the end, you might not have been as expensive of pit bull, but you would have been more filled with spirit. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I believe that.

Yeah, spiritual worldwide. Oh, very much so. That's what Pitbull needs. That's what he needs. And you go to at LP on the left for all our social needs. And then you go to our new YouTube channels. We have LPN TV someplace underneath, the Foreign Report, LP and Romanticcy. Who's the B? Go and follow them there because that's where a God, and by God, I mean, the advertisers,

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