Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Stuck in the Pipe

Episode Date: August 20, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: the alleged killers of Jam Master Jay are arrested, a man's body is found in a waterslide pipe, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started I actually feel surprisingly good. I don't know I woke up on the right side of the bed today I love to see you smile. Thank you I mean, it's weird though at the same time because your smiles are the range your smile goes from mischievous to I just didn't flush Look at how many beers I have in a pyramid to that one time We were just recently at your at your house in the backyard and you got a liquor You got a liquor order and for some reason you something glitch happened

I'm gonna say And then you got eight bottles of champagne. Yeah, are you drinking it? I've been drinking it Yeah, I found out you can't freeze it because it does freeze and it will explode. Yeah Explodes I saw you. Oh, so you never took those out of the freezer. I saw you going I gotta pop a couple of these in the freezer make sure they're cold But I've done that a couple of times, but mostly it's with food. Yeah, well food doesn't explode though No, I mean food is just one of the It's not that I I suffer from

I don't know whether this is the Italian or the Polish part. I suffer from a distinct Panic about not having enough food. Oh you too. I think it's uh, I think it's something with our childhoods That's deeply ingrained in us. We didn't grow up poor like before like so poor We didn't have food But there was something about having siblings And you knew if you didn't get to the snacks right in time, you're gone. They're gone You had big house boys that were your snack competition I had Jackie but Jackie was way more psychological and we had our time

It was more so at late at night right before we go to sleep We'd send we'd spend hours and hours and hours awake at night watching food network And Jackie and I used to make all sorts of different concoctions with ice cream and stuff And I think that's really where the weight came from I think that that was probably a good place to start that conversation. Hey, what's up everyone? Welcome to side stories. I am Ben with the always ice cream loving Henry Zabrowski. Yes. I am I have all of my favorites right now. Honestly, I have all of my favorites I got much. I don't mean to roll out all of my brand and content here

This is kind of a true crime ish show, but you want to start with ice cream talk? Yeah, okay Because you know, I like as like I like a nice vanilla bean. I'm one of those. I like just a normal vanilla It's too fancy. Don't even bother with me. I don't need an aristocrat ice cream. Just give me vanilla I don't like vanilla bean. You just don't like being sold You don't like the the dance of the these masters. No hugging does a fake Danish name. Is that even a real name? Not a real name No, it's not they just made it up because they knew that we fucking dopes would be like

Well, the europeans of a certain white variety really enjoys to whisk in the ice cream Well speaking of glitches mr. Zabrowski. I have a uh a small Confession to make when it comes to my madden play. There's a lot of people I want to say What I love is how much stuff that comes what's going on in this country How many different layers of things there are to be upset about my challenge and the emails that we got about the madden Football controversy, whatever it is that you're in the middle of the quagmire you Brought us into yeah, you drag this into right a lot of people are Uh questioning your logic

Well, did not quite realize that after the ball goes 10 yards It is a live ball. So you can't just fair catch it. You need to actually catch it now Of course, you don't have to if it's in the end zone. So I will admit that I was wrong. I made a mistake I did lose that game by a field goal 25 to 22. I am now officially 150 and 150 in my record I am 500 I'm broke even I'm in the top 26 of all madden players That's too many games for a single season though. That's a lot of games you need to give these boys a rest It's a lot of games. They're fake. So they don't get tired, but I do realize that I made a mistake and this is a good life lesson Instead of fair catching and running away. You need to catch the ball

And follow through Oh, and I think that very good. Isn't that the lesson we took away from it? And I think that that is actually a lesson for all of us for all of our lives So catch the ball and follow follow through nature's path Well speaking of following through I think probably the biggest story in true crime news this week involves jam master j Of course, he was murdered 18 years ago in 2002 and officers have finally arrested the two people That killed him apparently. Yeah, how do they string this shit together? This is really crazy. This is 20 years in the making

I know that this what it sounded like it was a drug deal or some kind of it was a it was a It was a nefarious situation. Well, they said it was a cocaine deal Damn, apparently jam master jay was still dabbling in uh in the dark arts of drug dealing People like it and he was uh, so he was shot. He was shot in jamaica queens Point blank cold blooded as they were saying and they arrested these two dudes one guy is carl jordan jr He's only 36 years old, which means this 18. This is what's so scary about About about just life in general. Yeah, just this 18 year old kid just with a gun Just ended the existence of one of the greatest influencers in music history

It's really very sad and it shows just how much can change immediately and it just man It's a bummer. It's you know what it's a fucking bummer It's a fucking bummer, but hopefully the family and fans of jam master jay can get a little bit of closure So carl jordan jr and ronald washington they conspired to kill jam master jay apparently with some retaliation Over a drug deal gone wrong. This is according to seth dusharm He is the acting united states attorney for the eastern district of new york He says it was important to us then and remains extremely important to us now to bring justice for the victim His family friends and the community that cared so much about these events

I have not been able to find like how it took 18 years to find these people No, why they were able to find them now, but nonetheless This is one of those stories that has been in hip hop for a long ass time With the years before mr. Moselle's death He increasingly embraced the role of a local talent scout listening to demo tapes of 14 and 15 old rappers and making some suggestions Which is awesome. This comes from the very sweet. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do? It's incredibly difficult and then I forgot that he started the scratch dj academy Where we had shows there for multiple multiple years and you used to show with kb

Uh, which was hilarious comedy deathmatch and kevin kept on trying to get me to say the n word and I did not Congrats, we used to do a segment called Yes, they that was funny if the way that different people can say different words Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, that was an amazing experience though at scratch dj academy We had reggie watz perform there reggie watz was the sweetest man reggie watz is the first person to introduce me to liquid THC that night and I remember you so nice. Thank you reggie Thank you so much for changing our lives and then we were all and then murderfist got addicted to tincture And I think it set us back a couple years

But it looks like this So one and so I guess they were vaguely involved through the hip hop scene Yeah, um, and it sounds like they were trying to cut that he was trying to cut them out of some deal With the what we see a lot is some smaller guys, especially younger guys Feeling that they need to do something to show how hard they are or how fucking how serious they are about this business Oh my and so they ended up doing they ended up doing these rash bullshit things and end in destroying everybody's lives I cannot imagine and I don't know so correct me if i'm wrong side stories lpotl at gmail.com I cannot imagine this was something they could brag about on the streets. I mean they killed jam master j

He was so important icon. Yeah. Yeah, so it's not like it's not like when takashi six nine gets killed Which is going to happen soon It's not going to be like that because that person can literally like wear a t-shirt like I killed takashi six nine And they'll be like, I think you're smart. No, it's gonna be like the scene from shparticus where everyone's gonna be like I'm the one who killed takashi six nine. No, I'm the one who killed takashi six nine We can't arrest them all well, then we better let them all go So apparently it was something involving a kilogram of cocaine And I don't know enough about measurements to know how much is a kilo of cocaine

Is that a lot or is that like a not that much? Hey, you know Yeah, man, you know how I am with my kilos, you know, I'm always shifting in weight I know I want to say it's like I imagine the size of wendy if she was more of a square So it's a dog. It's the dog size. That's how I transmuted my mind. Okay, so it's a wendy size So about seven pound dog size of cocaine Is a kilo of cocaine. This is not gonna. I'm don't worry. But there's a cognito Don't worry

It's 2.2 pounds of cocaine. Well, then it would be 22 pounds of cocaine That he was acquiring in july of 2002 Uh, he acquired 10 kilograms of cocaine, which was intended to be distributed by Washington, jordan and others but a dispute between washington and a coke conspirator led jam master j to tell washington He would be cut out of the transaction and uh, that's apparently what uh, did him in Inevitably he is dealing 22 pounds of coke is like a lot of coke. It's a lot of cocaine I think that this is before fentanyl by the way, so it was safer. It was fun Please be careful doing any kind of snortable. Don't do it. Especially west of the mississippi. I mean this

Don't do cocaine west of the mississippi. They're cutting with fentanyl. That's the truth. Is that it is not as bad It's just a weird measure. It's just a strange west of the mississippi I haven't heard anyone describe Like locations in west of the mississippi or north of the mississippi or south of the mississippi terms at a long time I want i'm reading secrets of twin peaks by mark frost and there's a whole section by lewis and clark So I think it's all of that. I'm in lewis and clark world. Oh my goodness So jordan, uh, again now he is only 36 years old. So this dude is still Like a young man. Uh, he also 36 is real young. Yeah, it's young. Yeah, right? Yeah, it's young

It's with it 39 and holding baby. Oh my god speaking of young You're gonna see just how young I am uh spotify asked us to make a music playlist. Oh, yes He asked all of us and uh, we were speaking with our manager ken and ken said ben I had no idea you and I have the same taste in music great ken is uh, 55 years old Yep, and he resides in newport rhod Island during the uh, the summer times and he liked stew He goes on his little pontoon boat. You guys have the same red faced flushed Uh things that you both enjoy you both would love whatever

Like the truth is and I'm not even mean this as an insult you Can and all and joe biden would go all love the same concerts Yes, you guys and all yes, we would be in the back of biden's fucking firebird Honestly, that is cool. It's pretty sweet. Yes, that is cool. So jordan again. He is 36 years old He also faces one count of conspiracy and seven counts of distribution of cocaine for an alleged incident in 2017 Uh, he was arrested on this past sunday. He has pleaded not guilty A washington he is 56. He is in federal custody and will be arraigned later. Uh this week He was convicted in 2007 of conspiracy stemming from a string of gunpoint robberies in new york

So i'm not going to say these guys were like on the right path I mean, who knows where i'm certain a lot more shit's going to come out once they go into trial and they are still just Q so we will find out He was justice prevails Yes, he was actually interested in love sent is interestingly enough sentenced to 210 months in prison and is scheduled to be released in april 2021. So Washington is actually already in jail Man, i wonder what the hell i wonder how they got him to admit it because they must they must

Adjust because you know all they do is search for a confession as much as humanly possible So at least they we'll see obviously we don't know anything so this more information will come out Absolutely, and we will follow it as it comes out as long as it's Is it's made a yes Well, r.i.p jam master j and hopefully there is a little bit of closure And it's just unfortunate be careful be careful who you're dealing with and uh, I love helping young artists But maybe don't don't meet them at your home I mean because meet them in public listen to their hip hop tape or their podcast if you want to send

If you're 14 you want to send this podcast we listen to 14 year olds podcast, but that's it. Do you know do you listen to a 14 year old Spockets no, I don't want to not really, but I'll give you notes. I'll tell you keep at it child Keep going child. That's very good Um, I honestly think on some level this is one of those stories where I would say you should legalize most drugs I think most drugs should probably be legalized. Absolutely. I don't know if we're mature enough to handle it Well, uh, we're definitely not heading down the path of legalization anytime soon. Nope. I don't know and it's gonna happen Here's the story of a man that probably honestly

You know when you say when you're in the middle of vacation you need like a vacation from your vacation I say that every day, you know, I'm like you're trying to take a vacation You're like I am just all of the planning and all of the hiking and all of the tourism I need a vacation for my vacation my vacation But sometimes that vacation from your vacation could end up leaving you dead in a pipe Wait, what man 32 dies after getting trapped inside pipe at Arizona aquatic center Now this is wait, is he augustus gloop? What the hell happened? I don't know if he was chasing chocolate. He might have been

How did he get stuck in a pipe? This comes from embassynews.com by Janelle Griffith a 32 year old man died early monday after he broke into an aquatic center in Arizona Oh my god and became trapped in a support structure for a waterslide Okay, now a police officer patrolling area near the elder auto aquatic and fitness center and scott's they'll learn that would he Believe to be faint calls for help And about 15 minutes later is a term that the calls were coming from inside the aquatic center Okay, hold on a second, but you did preface this entire conversation with dies inside of a pipe

So what this cop just didn't save this guy didn't grab him from the What do you do? I don't know how you get somebody out of a pipe you blow really hard I have no idea, but good this cop him save this guy. Maybe from all the quarantine pressure. He's starting to think he's hearing voices Maybe the pipe where the man was found is in an expansive outdoor area They they had a final where because they heard It took hours approximately an hour to pinpoint where the calls are coming from inside the lock place Um, so it was very difficult because it was this huge It was like a massive outdoor area and he said it sounded like a megaphone

So it was the voice was just like bouncing all over this technically a horrible story He was trapped inside this pipe And it was just because of the echoes and none of them are dolphins So they couldn't figure out how to find him within the pipes He said that they had the man had entered the facility by climbing over a high fence and then crawling inside a large cylindrical steel center Support for the waterslide where he became stuck and then recording the police officers It wasn't an easy feat it took some work to get down in there Which obviously would not be the first place that people would be looked trying to find someone because of the difficulty to get there

So he got stuck. Is this a waterslide pipe? Was this is this not I mean this man is dead so I don't want to mock him But was he a little heavy set or something? How did he get stuck in a waterslide? It sounds like it's it was a support beam that he must have I'm going to go on a limb here And say he might have been under the influence And having a good time I mean, I think that he was having a good time until he got inside of the pipe Right, and then when he walked and he snuck his way in and it seems like in his maybe

I'm gonna again his influenced attitude. We don't know if he was hammered though. He could have been sober I mean He died inside of a pipe 99 chance drunk Be my at least yeah, and he might have even thought that that was the waterslide Because it sounded like it was just a structure Piece for the waterslide that he thought would be fun. He saw big pipe. He's like, oh fun fun fun I get to go into the slip up and down this pipe. I'm gonna have fun in here. How wet it's gonna be even though It's close. No, it would just be him

No water is flowing. Yeah, it would just be him squeaking down this pipe as his skin tears from his body Just be like this is fun. Can I ask you when's the last time you used this slide? Holy hell. Well, I'm longer than most slides now. So I can't even really enjoy them. Which is sad I'm gonna say this as an I don't know if it's just because we're getting older because to be honest I don't do that stuff. I'm skinnier than I used to be right So I was gonna go on a slide. We forget where I was. It was with Natalie Well, you do this kind of adventurous stuff though. You you and Marcus go on roller coasters and whatnot. Well, yeah, that's not adventures That is more adventurous than I would do. I'm too big for that stuff

You know a roller coaster is it technically the least adventurous thing you can do you sit in a chair that has like fucking bar That keeps you inside of the chair. Yeah, but if it breaks you die Yeah, but then they no one wants to spend that much money to by killing a person at the amusement park You know what I mean? They'll do anything possible to not kill somebody because they will fuck that will affect their bottom line That's true. So I know that their their importance of money will keep me safe Yeah, until accidents do happen, but okay Well, you're more in danger of the owner of the amusement park coming in and shooting a bunch of people Then dying on one of the rides. Okay. And so in my mind, I try to go. I was like, oh, there's this slide

I remember it was this big slide where I forgot. I honestly, I don't even remember. Are you just hanging around playgrounds No, it was Natalie likes to go to adult playgrounds wink wink wink But she likes to go to the ones where it's kind of like there was like that place in Baltimore We went to that had like the big science museums. Oh, yes, sure And I made halfway down a slide and went And it's something about the way our bodies are shaped. We're not as buoyant anymore. No, I just my whole Backside was just fucking burnt on it. Oh, like I was on a skillet

And I was like, uh, and all the kids like man stuff See the man is stuck and I went and I had to scooch my way down the slide And I was like, I am not that big For me to stick on here. Oh, but you know, if you don't get publicly Shamed by children at least once a year. Am I living you are not living you have to you have children There's something about being laughed at by children that just cuts so deep That you need to experience it once again to open those wounds Explore those wounds and then go to therapy and try to heal those wounds all over again

We're just a series of scars. I'm covered in scar tissue. You know what I like about it. What's that? I'm like a turtle It makes me like a turtle But there's this is not the only story of a man getting stuck There's another one of a man lived in Tampa Bay areas stadiums luxury suite for over two weeks before he was arrested This is more these people breaking in this is quarantine breakins. This is just fun He was there for two weeks. Have a good time with it. CNN.com. This comes from Amir Vera A homeless man in florida allegedly stole up to $1,200 of merchandise and food while living in the luxury suite of a Tampa Bay soccer stadium for over two weeks. That's cool. I think this is actually great. This is just a fun movie

This should be direct directed by john hughes also You know just let the guy have a little fun in there Who else is using the suite? Do you remember us when we had to sit in the box seats? We had we had to go and be like, um, can we eat these hot dogs? Yeah Are these beers for us? Can we have some beers and all of the guys there all the head fund manager dudes are all of being like uh, yeah Yep, we were uh, it's really bizarre and I don't know if I'll ever get used to being treated with dignity or respect

Oh, it's happened so a few times It's just so rare especially in this business where they just beat you down beat you down beat you down And uh, even when you mildly get successful you get free hot dogs But you still don't know if you should be eating them because you also feel guilty But the thing is I showed up hungry, right? Well, we had to because we knew there was going to be free hot dogs I knew that there was going to be some form of free food and I showed up hungry But then nobody else is eating and I hate that feeling when it's just free food here

They just brought a whole thing of hot dogs and they brought all the condiments for it And you were still talking about this story. This has been months And the month that was like game three of the Lakers this this year This was honestly it was January 3rd. Yes, that's when this happened. It's so little less You're just talking the same stories again, but I hate walking a scenario where like man y'all eat They don't they don't eat because they've been there before they all acted like all plus a and shit That's a free pyramid of hot dogs. It's like the first time you sit first class And they're like would you like some champagne or bloody mirror and you're like, I don't got the money for that quick

Get away from me temperatures get away from me and they're like no, it's free sir You're gonna y'all try to trick me. I'm gonna wake up in a bag, aren't I you're gonna put me in a barrel And I'm gonna throw me out of the plane. It's just not normal for for that to happen No, I'm normally getting things smacked out of my hands going. No, sir. No. No. No. No, no I'm used to that behavior very common. But this guy Uh, he was just up in there. They walked in right so Daniel Albert Neyhot 39 was arrested earlier this week an employee of outlaying stadium found He found these a bunch of blankets in the luxury suite

And they came in and they saw him He had he was eating close to 200 dollars worth of food all around this is fucking incredible As he was living the dream He was dressed from head to toe in merch that he had taken from the merch stores. I'm like, this is incredible Honestly, this dude you should be flipping this story and being like he loves soccer He should be he's just gotta he should be the spokesman. He's the mascot now. I completely agree with that I mean, he's got a test clean after a couple of weeks, but then you start putting them in front of camera You know

Other than the copious amounts of booze, which I would assume they have in those luxury suites I don't think he could have been on that many drugs. There's not any drugs in Maybe but I think this guy might just be a good old-fashioned Elkie homeless person who figured it out And you know for two frick 14 days, he needs a vacation from his vacation Seriously, you know how much fun he must have had in there Man every day rooting for the teams aren't there looking at all the pennants But then you guys get in a ball because you know how much he gets to go fucking take a ball

You get to play on a professional level soccer field Even I have no interest in soccer and even I would be overjoyed to like line up the shot me and like Now father they pin it to a kick firms Polish Secure stair Henry Zbieroski, and then just me going. Yeah, it's yes I've been just not even making it like kicking it not making it to the

Stop Tackling in me in my fantasies. Oh So what is the guy being charged with having too much fun? To be honest, is it illegal these days to have too much fun? I do believe that he would actually be served a higher sentence for like, you know Quote of God having too much fun Neha was arrested on charges of third degree felony burglary And first degree misdemeanor of resisting an officer without violence

So yeah, because he was probably just been like, let me just finish the Philly cheesesteak Let me finish the Philly cheesesteak. Please god officer And his bond is currently set at five thousand one hundred and fifty dollars Well, this guy doesn't seem like he's the most dangerous human being on the face of the planet I don't know how he got into this luxury suite, but good for him. I hope he enjoyed those two weeks Must have gotten a little bit lonely at times looking in the mirror realizing You know the life of a soccer star is not easy Maybe he thought the soccer teams just stayed there overnight and he wanted to go have some friends

I wanted to meet Pele Oh Pele, I believe is dead, but that's okay. The only soccer player I know. I know him and I know bend it like Beckham Is his name bend it? No, but I know that the movie with the indian girl in it is the bend it like Beckham And I think she can bend it like Beckham, but I don't know what bend it means I think it's something to do with the ball and the ball can curve the the curving of the ball But did David Beckham invent that? I think he just invented being super handsome. He is very handsome very

A soccer players are extremely handsome. They're the hardest boy. Who's Ronaldo? He is this guy who looks like he's made of just like perfect. He's like a god body He's like too handsome. So the dude like I've heard girls say. Oh, he's too pretty for me And that's huge because you hear that a lot women always say that and then they do mean that They don't I don't know sweet love them. They would they would they would drag their whops So back so fast back and forth over his body. He would look like a slip and slide Oh, he kind of does look like a slip and slide. He's very wet all the time. That's different. That's effort Well, you know, Henry, obviously we're nemesis. We've been nemesis for a long time whole lives

This man in Arkansas. I have I was debating making this guy here of the week, but what he did is not heroic. It's just very Uh, he wanted to win and by golly. He did so in Arkansas farmer He disguised himself as a woman to sneak into a cemetery Really no idea why he had to disguise himself as a woman because men are also a lot in cemeteries throwing off the scent So he went into a cemetery and to face the grave of his longtime nemesis Damn with animal carcasses. Oh, you know how funny like I don't why did he dress up as a fucking lady? We don't know. We don't excuse me grave digger. My name is Leslie That's the woman version of Leslie

Uh, I can totally tell and now don't even narrow you mind this bowling bag filled with dead squirrels That's that is an inside joke between me and my former lover nemesis No Joseph Stroud, he's 78 years old, which you know 78 I'm just so happy. He's still got he's got the hood spot. I don't know something like this after listening to the aarp sponsored interview of Howard stern and metallica I will say that metallica them all being like

We have forgiven everyone and we had to go and we had a lot of apologies to do in the early 2000s And they needed to I think they may have needed to they'd need to apologize to that basis of theirs because they were just Overtly mean to him for no reason. He just was never cliff Burton. You can never replace cliff Burton died And metallica needs to realize that this person does not replacing cliff. He's just I'm not told Henry. Don't rock. Don't metalhead cry on me. Do not metal metalhead cry goes That's fun. That's really dumb, but they said that the I would like to think that by 78 fucking Praise be to a law that by the time I reached 78

Can I let go of a shred of my bitterness and you die? Oh, Joseph Stroud 78 was charged earlier this month with with the facing objects of public respect Which apparently is aka a grave. I don't know why they call it an object of public respect But whatever I guess they can fall to like The big boy statue in front of Bob's big boy. You can go and draw a big cock or a pussy on that I guess you can't but at the same time Good, I mean you but then you're outing big boy. Yes, you are so Fred McKinney. That was the name of Joseph's Nemesis the family of Fred apparently they didn't think it was very funny. Why they got all mad

Because they found a bunch of dead animals on the grave multiple times between May and July Does it say what kind of animals they don't have anything specific about the animals? But we know there were 16 dead animals found so you got to assume these weren't pumas, you know These are like little muskrats little squirrels McKinney's granddaughter Shannon nobles told the police she started finding the dead animals at the grave in late May By July when the family reported the incidents again 15 or 16 dead animals were found overall So this is what she had to say

She says at first they thought it was just a coincidence and thought maybe the animals were consuming the fake floral and dine Yeah Like a lesson if you really think you're killing All of the wildlife with the way you represent and and help respect your your dead ones You might need to put some biodegradable stuff. I would think so But then she goes on to say when they began finding but when they began finding more dead animals And arranged in a what seems to be a middle finger made out of squirrels interesting They realized it wasn't just a coincidence someone was placing the dead animals there purposely

So the family set up a camera And they were able to watch this dude. He had a teal windbreaker a wig and sunglasses To the lady enjoying a night on the town hearing the cemetery And the officers were like, okay. I think we know who this dude is. Hey, I do a name is lazily jordan So when the officers visited uh Stroud's home on august 6th, they found a bloodstained towel in his 2018 dodge journey Oh new car. It must be a lease. Yeah, it must be a lease and that was uh, the probable cause Stroud Stroud was arrested and charged with the facing objects of public respect Class B felony he was later released

Nobles told the police that Stroud and her grandfather shared a land boundary for several years It's very scary. Apparently that's what they didn't like about each other. They were too close and uh, we know good fences make good neighbors So apparently they just had a land dispute going on this whole damn time But Stroud won. I mean he lived that's what I'm saying. You lived buddy You won the fight if your neighbor dies before you you win I know you want to leave dead animals out there, but you know what you could do you could even make a big Fuck you shrine in your own house. You don't have to go to the cemetery You could go and you could just fucking tell him to go fuck yourself

Within your own property Well, according to the daughter shannon or the granddaughter rather shannon said joseph and fred never got along with each other And there was even a lawsuit between them where she thought joseph had lost So joe is probably still pissed about this lawsuit And he found a way to get his revenge and that involved dead animals on uh, fred mckinney's grave And I think that he um, he got back at him. I don't still know why he dressed as a woman though Oh, we just don't know. I don't know. I think that was just I that could just be his role That's just what he does in life. He just might enjoy himself. I I have no problem with that. I think that that's great

I just I only do know any things when i'm leslie And the rest of my life i've lived by the code of law forced to me by this government But leslie flies free you all need to have a second personality. Don't you just have a little fun No, because you know who else had one oh jody arias and ted bundy and john wane gasey And jeffrey darmer they all had their because that's the thing that's becomes too compartmentalized That's when when you don't know what other kissles doing That's when there's a problem There is that movie the two mr. Kissles and I believe john stamos is in it

What yeah, it's about these two guys who what I think they were brothers who got killed in mr. Kissle It's called the two mr. Kissles. You don't know this What yeah, there's a movie called the two mr. Kissles. I really don't know much about the story I believe mr. Kissles. Let me see what comes up when I do this. Yeah What yeah, it's a very famous lifetime rich brothers robert and andrew kissle I think that they seem to have everything beautiful wives who love them. Nope great jobs at a huge house Technically you are doing fine I don't know beneath the surface slide beneath the surface slides resentments and secrets

They killed each other. I think horrible undoing. This is 2008. How do I not heard of the two mr. Kissles? I don't know. I'm right made for television. Yes. It's made for it was a lifetime movie Didn't have enough to get to the distribution for a big full release. No, it might be the name of the film Oh, it's a lifetime film. I will say that's what I'm saying. It's a lifetime movie What have you done? I've made us money. Hailey money. That's it. Yes And to make money you have to gamble and to gamble you have to take risks You've turned us into piranhas for money, but you wouldn't know anything about that Hailey because you have no guts We're your family, Andrew. These are your children

Now wow, who would you truly if you were gonna have someone play it like the life of ben kissle the no towel story Ben kissles no towels. I know I have too many towels. Good. I don't even know what to do with them But your the kitchen floor is mysteriously wet. Well, it doesn't yes. It is okay. Um, who would play like Ben kissle the no towel is no problem story. Who plays Ben kissle truly? Who do you cast? I mean, I don't even know if it would be Dolph Lundren. Dolph is too old I mean, but he'd represent your spirit. Yeah, I do love he's a genius, you know I heard. Yeah, he's like actually a mathematician You know, I always for some reason the only one that always pops up as Asia Carrera is a member of mensa. No kidding

Do you remember her? Yeah from Wayne's world. Wasn't she in Wayne's world? That's Tia Carrera. I was Asia Carrera Asia Carrera was the pornography actress from the 90s early 2000s. No kidding. She's very attractive But she was a part of mensa, but actually maybe Tia Carrera was also a member of mensa. I think they I don't I honestly think no, I don't want to be The They're very smart. I'll just leave it at that. The two women are very smart. Yeah, they're very smart I mean, I can't even imagine them at a mensa meeting just the amount of boners in the khaki pants as they walk by Oh, they never probably went to an in-person meeting. I think a lot of their stuff was done in writing

Yeah, I think so, but no, I don't know who I would have played me But uh, you know, who's that big check guy from the fucking from basketball from the Dallas Mavericks You want you want that guy to play me? What's his name? He looks like tiny from house of a thousand corpses I don't know his name. He's very good Billy crystal purchased in my giant Oh, you're talking about George Maris on the guy who played for the Washington bullets at the time That guy you want you want him to play me. I believe he is also dead He might be dead. I don't know actually play me and Henry Ziprowski all-star always. Um, just a potato I don't know

Think about casting me. Yeah, if I'm if I asked me Oh my god, besides just me. Okay, maybe I could play a younger version of me I think that you probably could I don't know enough about the talent out there because I haven't been scouting soft body All you do is watch movies. It's not just soft body improv is it could also be you know, who could maybe play me back in the day Dennis france Is that bad? Oh Dennis france. I have seen that man's butt so much. We have the same body It's very interesting. That was of course

NYPD blue for those that weren't of a certain generation the show pushed boundaries by showing people piss in public They're worse. It was just in the bathroom butts on television history I still don't know why it happened. I don't know why we needed to see Dennis france But I don't know why we needed to see David Caruso's butt Well, David Caruso was much more attractive than Dennis france. David Caruso could play me. Yes, short Yes, David Caruso. I love that In a soft core porn of my life of your life, that would be incredible Yes, it would be just the hymn discovering the fountain, but he's a real chaos magician like he's an actual magician

He turns the fountain into an actual hot tub and there's like all these chicks and dudes all over it Now it's getting Pretty hot in here. Well speaking of magic. Did you hear this story from a swistown? Did you hear it? Did you hear the story from a swistown? Is this goat? No No chocolate snow falls in swistown after ventilation defect at the lint chocolate factory, isn't that cute? This is not a crime story. It's just simply a sweet story. This is just a sweet story Swistown got a bit of a shock when it started snowing particles of fine cocoa powder after the ventilation system and a chocolate factory malfunctioned

And the lint and sprangooly company interestingly enough confirmed local reports And uh, and the everything was lined with cocoa nibs. I love cocoa nibs. Yeah, they call them cocoa nibs Which is cute the nibs fragments of fresh crushed cocoa bean are the basis of chocolate Combined with strong winds on Friday morning the powder spread around the immediate vicinity of the factory leaving a fine cocoa dusting Isn't that fun? Honestly, it is nice. Yeah, the card nothing to make nothing like making my neighbor more delicious The company says one car was lightly coated and it is offered to pay for any cleaning needed But it hasn't been taken up on the offer. I would be doing all of the cleaning with my own person It is mid-tier. Well the ventilation system unfortunately has been fixed. So yeah, man

They should be getting free chocolate all the ass time now you oh you mean tell me Oh now the free chocolate ends because your mouth functions over but guess what fellow boy? Mr. Swede, I was getting fucking free ass chocolate from the sky earlier today You know chocolate cocoa isn't very good though. It is. No, it's very powdery. You can't uh, you gotta go wet I don't mind a bitter You know, I don't like it. I think America has ruined my taste of good chocolate though Sometimes you get to like 99% cacao. Mm-hmm. It just tastes like shit But what it's nice is though, it's it's a superfood. Is it no is it superfoods are made up

I'm pretty certain But you know what I want you know what animals must have been all over those graves Someone sent me this thing about because we were talking about how chihuahuas are were like bread for food and to be sacrificed for so long Oh, by the way, apparently jerry is a chihuahua Oh, I forgot again doxin doxin. Yes chihuahua doxin. Yeah, he's a doxin Yeah, he's got a long body, but there's this type of thing that they found there's only one example of it It's a little thing. It's a it's a whiskey to turn spit dog And when it is it's this tiny little dog that was bred to just turn the spits for meat

And they're like so so tiny and it's so cute and this one kind of looks like wendy Yes, I see it. It's super cute. But why did it become extinct and we still turn the meat? We still need a spit dog. Why would they uh become defunct? Do they just start eating them and we talked about chihuahuas being Quite good snack food apparently for many many years. Just raked out of existence. Really? I don't know It's very sad to do that to a spit dog. I mean, they're like little flesh lights. Yeah, I suppose so. Look at this cutie little patootie though This is dog talk. This is our dog corner. This is cutie patootie We got that's it. That's it. Well, that's the only way I want to bring up

I was like looking up these turn spit dogs and they're so damn cute. How did you even find a turn spit dog? I don't even want to know what you were searching. It was sent to me in an email. It's a short. Okay. Here we go It's a short leg long body dog bred to run on a wheel called a turn spit or a dog wheel to turn meat Oh the type is now extinct. Oh, I don't get how it went extinct. It's a kitchen dog It's a cute ass dog. Let me see why What's weird is you never think about dogs going extinct, but I guess they still can it's according to Delabra Blaine a 19th century veterinarian. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god 19th century veterinarian Holy hell turn spit dogs were described as long bodied crooked legged and ugly dogs with a suspicious unhappy look about them

I love them. Can we get them back like they did in Jurassic Park or is there like a product? Is there like a little embryo in some amber or something somewhere? Oh, the dogs were also taken to church to serve as foot warmers People just used to use live animals. We talked about the chihuahuas as like water bottle coolers like water coolers for your tummy If you're having your period or whatever It's just because it's too much you can't wear them like shoes Oh my goodness. Well, anyway, I think it's time for hero of the week This week's hero of the week speaking of America Oh, hey bald eagles. We love them. Don't we?

This is still him fine with them. I love scavengers. They're scary as shit a bald eagle attacked a state drone The drone was worth $50. This was in the up in michigan in what state officials describe in a tongue-in-cheek brazen attack a bald eagle recently Snatched a $950 drone belonging to the state of michigan that was being flown to document shoreline erosion damage And of course monitor the damn citizens of the society After a brief tussle the bird ripped it off one of the propellers from the small spinning aircraft and then sent it to the bottom of the lake And state workers are like, oh, no, we can't do that. This happened on july 21st Which is the day of my birthday. Oh, and I'm gonna name this I'm gonna name this bald eagle buzzy

Buzzy the bald eagle you are doing What all of us want to do when we see a drone up in the sky tear it down and throw it into the bottom of an ocean There it is Apparently the attack could have been a territorial squabble with the electronic foe Oh, yeah, I didn't know what it was and so you mean tell me it did like a preemptive attack like it was super super aggressive It's just attacked a drone. Yeah, because it's an american hero. Yep. That's what we do Uh, or maybe the eagle was just hungry, but then it found out that he can't eat the robot And that's a shame anyway, and ironically the name of the drone is eagle e

Gle it's a quality analyst and drone pilot hunter king and it was on his on its fourth mapping run of the day And I'm just telling you this much when you go in when you go in to uh, you know The eagle territory get ready to get eagled because buzzy ain't messing around and eagles will fuck you up They are not like super nice. No, they are not nice The pilot said the drone was about seven minutes into its mapping flight when it noticed its satellite reception was getting weak He pressed the quote go home recall button the drone dutifully turned around Reacquiring a strong satellite feed. They the agency then said king was watching his video screen as the drone P lined for home

But suddenly it began twirling furiously when he looked up the drone was gone and the eagle was flying away A nearby couple later confirmed they saw the eagle strikes something But were surprised to learn it was a drone both king and the couple said the eagle appeared uninjured as it flew from the scene of the crime I don't think we need to call it a crime. I don't know if it's necessarily a crime. Nonetheless. I love this eagle good for you Take these drones down Because god knows They're spying on our kids

You know that story about the dude who shot the drone down after he was monitoring his children bathing in the backyard Remember that story? No, it was his neighbor's drone. He shot it down with a shotgun The guy who shut it down got in trouble for vandalism But the other guy had the drone monitoring his 14 year old daughter some bathing in the backyard I don't think the drone is a problem. I think it's the neighbor trying to look at the other daughter like Just you have to shoot the drone down though. I am so pro shooting drones down Oh, no, I think that it's interesting, but I think that should be drone versus drone I think that everyone should be allowed to have these military grade drones

I am just surprised and I'm this is satire But I'm just amazed that we don't have a small drone army if we can just get everyone I think everybody should have a military drone Every family that we can target certain places in this country that might How's People that are destroying us. Wow very very Troubling very troubling and it's gonna ruin everything But now let's read some viewer emails. First of all, I want to say thank you to all the responses from various people about how

Spermies are all different. Yes. Thank you. I always love reading emails about sperm. Apparently I was correct You were vaguely about one thing. Yep. Yeah, but it's true If you do come once you get all new sperms and he just kind of ran him out gets in there So it really is a crapshoot on which one is gonna make it to the egg and uh, my god, you just better pray It's the right one. You better pray. But here's the story. Um, we're gonna We're gonna beep the name of this man out, but I am gonna say it Okay, this is a story about a bigfoot hunter. Okay that a listener spent some time with spent some time with In an afternoon with his father

My father and I never had a fantastic relationship, but we would often try to bridge the ever increasing gap between us with Our mutual interest in the paranormal Okay One day my father stumbled upon a youtube documentary that looked took place a few miles from his hunting camp In the documentary a group of ghost hunting teens crossed paths with the middle-age sasquatch hunter in the wild Antics of all shapes and sizes ensue the bigfoot hunter Was such a character that he actually became the subject of the ghost hunting teens documentary Needless to say my father was so enamored with the idea of this man that he actually hired

He hired him to take us out bigfoot hunting with loaded shotguns to which were ours and a bigfoot battle suit What the hell was a bigfoot battle suit? We met him at a secluded gas station more befitting of a toby hooper movie What I noticed about him right out of the gate was that he was completely and utterly full of shit The first thing out of his face was in a second. No way. No as I rode in his car a dangerous choice I know he proceeded to tell me that the first time he saw a bigfoot was in vietnam While he was separated from his platoon I knew that something stank immediately and it wasn't the squash musk

Nom I thought to myself my dad was born in 69 and you were at least 10 years younger than him I just nodded in response sucked into my breath embraced himself for a shit storm to come He might have just been on vacation in vietnam. He could have been. Yeah, you can do that Now according to him. He's never he's never went into the woods unarmed. He had his own shotgun complete with his name phone number address and Quote-unquote bigfoot hunter logo affixed the stock with his own personal sticker I'm still amazed. He was able to pull all that out on a limited space I was keeping extra shot on me. He said waving a yellow shotgun around in front of my brother and I Just in case I need to end my own life. Whoa don't want to get mauled by a bear or worse

You want to see my battle suit? The battle suit was a veritable hodgepodge consisting of a bright red 60s football helmet a pair of hockey gloves a heavy plastic motocross chess plate a pair of Carpenters knee pads Sockershine pads and a dejected set of skateboard elbow pads There's no way a big foot's gonna get through that. He shouted a little too loudly as he strapped me into the last of the suit I stared at my father and fought my face saying please can we go home this man is going to kill us He stared back his face saying you always say that give him a chick give him a chance. It could be it could be fun

Yes, that's when he almost blew his head off He had a very bad habit of slamming his shotgun down on his shoulder before we set off on a trek Moments after he had stuck me into his super suit He wanted off a few feet right behind me grabbed his gun and did his little shoulder slam For getting the safety was off The explosion tore through the woods Decimating the tranquility sending my father brother and I all whipping around simultaneously to see him Finger in his ear trying to jam some auditory sense back into his head

Wow, he shouted that was really loud I stared at my father unblinking dead in the face. I took off the battle piece He took off the battle suit piece by piece back at the ponderosa buffet My father caught a second me and I how'd they get to ponderosa? They left. They just left with the ponderosa Yeah, after his mashed potatoes the unspoken rift between is growing that much wider This is very very funny But that was the last time they don't know but he this dude's still out there doing bigfoot hunting Well, good for him be safer with the gun. Please lord. Yes, please be safer with the gun. My goodness gracious

I do think that most bigfoot excursions end with ponderosa and I think that's a perfect way to do it Absolutely. I love ponderosa. I also love I used to love myself a hometown buffet back in the day and a golden corral Well, the golden corral, you know, I was there recently. Well, I was there about three years ago. It holds up. It's still there It's a lot of it. There's a lot of it And this is this is something I want to read they got sent to us that came from a tweet from dr. Bob Nicholson Which is a digivictorian on twitter and he posted this it's an article from the 1800s now in the according to his tweet

I've stumbled upon a lot of bizarre things when researching 19th century newspapers, but few stories that are wilder than this This is the story. Okay kicking an air off in a ballroom a wisconsin cancanist who slings a vigorous limb A dance was recently given at johnson's creek a village eight miles south of waterton, wisconsin Which was attended by scores of buxom lassies and stalwart lads from the surrounding country It was a grand affair beer baloney and schmere case were plenty That is a wisconsin dance party the girls were smiling and kitney and hoopty dude and who The boys felt their oats and everybody was having a royal good time Jacob g got peter b. Sweetheart up in a corner and commenced whisper into her shaga golden square

Peter was jealous an elegant role was the result everybody sailed in and kicked shins that being the custom of the country in a Mus many of the young ladies however were more ambitious and landed their generous hooves in the bowels or chops of their antagonists The display of snowy embroideries and well filled welds red stockings was gorgeous and lots of the boys have been cross-eyed ever since During the melee jacob got his ear kicked off fact He had peter arrested and as ladder had slewed his number 12 brogans around among crowd pretty liberally He thought it was quite probable that he was the guilty body and therefore took out his wallet and settled for the air Now come some of the boys that and say that one katrina von s 16 is a hairpinner did the damage it as much as the record show that the fair katrina has a leg on her like a

Mill post and kick her father's bulky mules into a total wreck in 30 seconds by the clock the charge seemed well founded And she is a strawberry blonde of the most pronounced style and takes a backseat for no more noon masculine feminine or neuter The boys also say that she kicked one six foot fellow on the snout with the bigger of a colorado bronco The case against katrina for ear amputation seems pretty well established Oh, man journalism sucks now. Yeah, that was classic What a wonderful bash that must have been baloney beer and just a smear had a bunch of people Kicking each other in the nuts Getting your ear kicked off my god. Oh, that is hard. They got big harder shoes back then

I think that they did yes They must have a lot of farming a lot of a lot of agriculture work You got to have the hard boots You got to have the hard boots. Um, this is a bit of an announcement next week both side stories and last podcasts and left are going On vacation. I need a vacation for my vacation. We are not gonna have one of those No, no, you're gonna have a vacation from work But we are there's gonna be no new episode of side stories or last podcast on the week next week I know that you may moan you might be even doing a bit of a groaning, but I do believe

You will like how relaxed we will be when we come back. Oh, you know how people love it when we're not stressed Yeah, when we're leaving to just do we're doing family things, of course That'll be fun. We will Travis Morgan start. I will still be doing top at we'll still have kind of fun the wrestling show And we'll still be doing the lpn show. Um, so don't think work won't be happening Still coming here from the west coast studio you Um, thank you all so much for listening to this episode of side stories We hope you're hanging in there doing the best you possibly can in these strange wild times live every day like Like you know that that's not the water tube. All right. You know that's not the water

Do not go down that tube. I know you want to go down that tube But just live and know double check your tube make sure it's gonna now. Yes throw a sandal down there I think that's really important throw a sandal throw a boot down the tube make sure it comes out See where it comes out then have your fun make sure the water's on that's very very important All right indeed you gotta live you got to laugh. You do laugh like you are a man that is just covered in soccer merch Surrounded by mustard. You must have. Oh man. I suppose that first week must have been one of the funnest times of his life I'm jealous. I'm actually jealous of this homeless man. So much freedom. So much fun all that booze Oh, man, so much fun. Wow, and you just gotta you gotta just live you live laugh

You gotta you gotta love you do you forgot it You forgot one of the largest cliches in human history that we've taken. Yeah for no reason. We didn't have to take it No, we're stuck with it. No. Yeah, you did this. Yeah, and now love Love that I do this every episode You know that's that's what you're that's your cop out for the love this week. It literally is a demand That you love this part of the show wonderful and if you don't then Unfortunately, it cannot be changed. Well, we love all of you You can check us out on of course, you know again top ad

Kind of fun lpn show last podcast, you know all the shows here keep on supporting all the shows also We got the merch. We have to mention the word podcast merch dot com Okay, so there you go. Can now can won't yell at me. Can you happy now? Can you hear it now? Are you happy now? Also? I guess you can check out our Spotify We got some music they asked us. I don't know why they wanted our musical taste But I they want to know more about us the listeners want to know more about us and what we do And they're gonna hear the five songs. I listened to they just you know, if you're looking for something that straight 39 year old white males listen to then you will

Chat you will find it on my playlist. I I it's a mix. It's a mix. Um, all right everyone. Thank you so much for listening Inhale yourselves. I'll say to my goose delusions and me indeed every day every day This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com