Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Sugar Water Burn

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a 20-year-old Iowa man kills his parents to throw a party at their place, a woman kills her husband with boiling sugar water, a grandmother is set ablaze, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started side stories. Yeah I want Upspell that keeps Wendy alive forever Can you do that would be that's horrific by the way? No, because always She's always learned. It's just wait. I want to die. Please. Let me But you're like no, sorry. No, no, you can't because look at your mother All right, look at you want to make your mother cry. Hmm. Do you would rather be surrounded by a quasi zombie dog?

That's miserable than have Wendy pass on to doggy heaven for sure can hang out with a bunch of other dog yet in heaven She doesn't even like other dogs Well, then her heaven won't have any dog heaven is it's a first of all, it's not a place on earth heaven is a place on earth Well, it's because heaven doesn't exist. So you have to make it a place on earth So you have to live this life now if you are you're listening to the show right now. I want you to go out there I want you to tell that woman. I want you to tell that man that you love them Yeah, there's not enough time out there. There's enough time kiss. Oh, what I appreciate you as a friend I appreciate you remember that how little time there is how fragile we all are as a bunch of buckets of goop

You're scaring them now. Welcome to side stories. This is the main story the main story is life is short Is it I can't tell I feel like life is short in your final year when you're 83 But then the rest of the time you have to remember how long it was and how hard it was and just I think I Think we got a nice lifespan now when we're talking about the Black Death lifespan there Oh, it only young it was a little on the short side, but now we're we're in that 80s range I don't know if we need to go too much higher. I'm going to 175 I'm not using aluminum in deodorant Um, I cut down to pork to two times a week

I'm only drinking five days a week. That's two days off. I'm getting 175. That's a weekend for my liver Oh, that's very nice. I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna get the robot dick I'm gonna get a robot brain. I can't wait. No, you can't get the robot brain You have to keep your human brain Otherwise you're completely a robot and that doesn't then you're not Henry anymore. I can't remember simple facts No, absolutely not. Well, one of the things speaking of facts We may have gotten some things wrong on last week's episode sure when we were speculating about whale man The guy who was a lobster. He was he was that down there looking for lobsters

Like people do and he then he said I was eaten by a whale and then he had no bruises and then I said I don't know a skeptical cap But his son went on AMA and his son was really nice and his son said that he got eaten by a whale So I believe him well what we haven't know what we now know I was feel bad for talking about him because he said there was one question was like How's your dad dealing with all the attention? He's like he he's he's overwhelmed. Yeah, he's a simple man Yeah, he's a simple man. He liked his lobster Collecting like they say lobster fishermen, but you just picked the boxers up off the ground. Yeah, that's a lobster fisherman

I know I know you gotta go down and get him but it's not like cuz you take me to learn You know me you know bring him into a boat with it I'm now insulting all of our lobster fishermen Listen, you put it you put the you put the little crate down there the lobsters like that looks like an apple bees for lobsters They go in thinking they're gonna get some appetizers They don't realize they're the appetizer. That's what's gonna happen to me exactly, but we the main thing is the word eight That's what people were getting hung up on. Yes, everyone's gotta get hung up They were saying that he got eaten, but it's like no he never went past the mouth

Sphinctor whatever that is the where the when you travel from a whale's mouth to its goods He physically could not be able to get in there. We now know that we know that also I learned thank you for everyone who told me Whales, they don't really chew their food They just kind of gulp it up like me at a buffet as I'm hammered in Las Vegas Yes, they just pour it all in and hope they got something good And I want to say it kind of soaks we're already in a trying territory where we don't know what we're talking about But he said they was probably stuck inside of just the mouth hole

And we just want to say what a brave man to manage to fight a whale and he survived and now he will get nothing But ridicule I don't even probably will sell a book He should do some form of like man if Nike did a line of lobster fishermen boat shoes I would buy them in a heartbeat. This is the time for him to cash in get some kind of I don't know what you got to do Some kind of cocktail sauce tie in some I'm trying to think what's a no That's actually a great kind of design you have shrimp cocktail design So you got a little pink on top a little red on the bottom of the shoe It's all themed after the cocktail shrimp cocktail, but it's for the lobster fishermen

You mean to tell me there's not a rapper slash basketball player that will not wear Nike Lobster salad like themed not only will they not tail shrimp. I think this one might be specifically for podcasters This might be the only time ever where people who are athletic or really cool We'll be like not gonna wear that Nike, but then every podcaster around they're gonna have those cocktail shoes Why don't we start selling a line of padded? podcasting underwear Has lined Cushions in it and it's all about sitting with

Exceptionalism Like that's what it is all about like can you sit actively enough your ass needs the support as well as much as the fucking The arches of your feet extreme sitting Not only is that a million dollar idea? Somebody just stole it and they're already and I'm already wearing them Where's pinpoint? Oh, no, I thought that was just oh, I thought that pouch was your natural body cushion You fancy Any hoot well Henry I let's start with this. Oh, yeah, also, you know another big correction was it wasn't it's tacos de Mayo, oh not taco mayo

No taco the mayo, but what I still don't understand. I know that everyone says like it's like Cinco de Mayo like the month right May 5th Sure, but what you're still just saying tacos de Mayo or tacos Mayo stuff It's like that just maize taco the May taco the May May time taco, so it's the it's that's why we were having trouble understanding Absolutely, because otherwise I would do the two of the smartest men outside of the two states Idaho Jimmy and John from Jimmy John's Wow Yeah, both apparently horrible horrible people apparently any hoot Henry if I ask you to kill me Can you not do it the way that this woman did it? Okay, so there was a woman her name is Elizabeth Durkey Hmm the turkey turkey. I mean exactly. It means a dumb turkey indeed. It's a turkey

She suffocated her grandmother and then lit her body on fire. Okay, but Durkey says it's because her grandmother Was a little bit up there in a she was 72 years old and she's not that old not that old She said that she wanted to die so she was helping her grandmother Die even if that is true. Why why with the burning of the body and the suffocating? Can you kill somebody kill me a little bit kinder, please if you're gonna suffocate someone? I guess if you're over 70, it's a little bit easier, but at the same time Have you seen Arnold Schwarzenegger? He'd be difficult to fucking strangle and he's almost 80. Yes, he would be but strangling someone a

Little bit of a little bit of an education for audience strangling someone takes about three to four minutes of continuous effort We learn that I forget what series we learn that from Arthur shot cross and Kemper. Yes, right? They takes a long time and it's a physically arduous task Ed Arthur shot cross he did it because he was 300 pounds fine And he just put the weight into actually choking people he'd over large hands And he would just clench he would clench and he'd just sit and he just waits you just stop jerking around When you get it your grandmother because I bet you because the grandmother because my mother has had this conversation with me many times Sure, how many times she said Henry Thomas when I have Alzheimer's I want to get you father's service revolver

I want you to shoot me in the head. It's still a felony. You're gonna go to jail. We'll do it now You know what I mean, but no, I'm not to do it herself. I know, but she's just she'll never do it What's she loves herself too much? What's the law of putting a loaded gun by your grandmother or by your mother as she has Alzheimer's? Maybe and maybe you do one of those things where it's like an Instagram thing where it's like maybe it's a cake You never know you have to pull the trigger because everything on Instagram is a cake and I'm getting a little bit freaking annoyed with it Then are you guilty? I don't know. Maybe you're just aiding and abetting that murder I think my mom wants me to lift up the gun to put to her head just so that she can have the moment being like

Did you really want to shoot me in the head just so she could see she can always play every side of every mental game You are emotionally so damaged by your mother. Yes, but when it comes to an old woman I imagine she did at some point this conversation came up. She says when I when I am that this age I am in so much pain. I want you to handle me So what happens is is that this young woman this miss Durkey when Durkey decided to go in right? She's a female. This is a Durkey. This is a lady. There's a lady younger right 36. Oh, whoa, young And so when she's strangling this woman, you know at some point the woman's like not like this Well, like this like she didn't she didn't want to be strangled and then set on fire

Interestingly enough the way that you describe it. I actually think is more humane than how she did it So Durkey allegedly after dinner on June 7th helped her grandmother into the bed And that's where she said I love you and then she duct taped her nose and mouth until she stopped moving So fucking can't duct tape can do everything. Can't it fix a drain kill your grandmother. Um, she killed her like it was She killed her like it was from a David Fincher movie. Yeah, so you don't it's also that's nightmarish So you take your beloved Nana, right and she's sitting there She's just so being like I can't wait to go and see what color the clouds are in heaven if she even said that Meanwhile, you just go. Oh duct tape. I see you're trying to fix that loose chair. Oh that chair's been loose for so long

I'm sick of the what are you doing? Shut up grandma shut up like that is also after dinner I'm sorry if you're gonna suffocate me I want it on an empty stomach because you're probably gonna vomit You're immediately shit your pants. Of course. It's horrible. So there's also a two-year-old daughter in the house So this grandmother is lying in this bed duct taped up nose and mouth for four days and Dirk he's just going back doing what Dirk he's do I can't even imagine like drinking water all wrong I have no idea what a Dirk he does they walk on treadmills when they're not on

You know, I mean they just walk in place and act like they're exercising Dirk he's also they love just straight raw ass You know buddy, I frickin believe it So she's pacing around the house doing what Dirk he's do and then she's like I got the idea forward four days later She just lit the whole house on fire So she I think she just wanted to set the house on fire. Yeah, Dirk he says she determined She would light their house on fire with herself and the two-year-old daughter inside But she later changed the plan and decided that she would leave

With her daughter and I have the house burn so that her and her daughter weren't in it Which I guess was that's a Dirkie. That's that's a thank you for that side of Dirkie kindness Yeah, that's a Dirkie She'd her way to safety because she realized oh fires hot mean no like fire no fire does burn Not to mention she has a two-year-old daughter who was of course the ultimate victim in all of this and the grandmother Grandmother. I mean hopefully the grandmother asked to be murdered. I She said this took place in Wisconsin. I should have said that old. It's really not now I mean, it's old, but it's not like kill me kill me old a Wisconsin 72

Let's remember the Wisconsin lifestyle. It is wonderful and great, but not necessarily conducive to longevity No, cheese the beers the religion Sitting you got long winters. You're inside eating a lot of comfort foods. Yes, indeed You have very intense a weird political divide in your country in your state in the state sure there is Yeah, so you're dealing with that. You're being pulled back and forth. You didn't know who to believe you're 72 years old One thing, you know one commercials telling you fucking take colloidal silver There's another commercial telling you to store in the capital It's just like all you don't know what to do next thing, you know, you're doing cash for gold and you've lost all your money

So she is a Wisconsin 72 her husband was dead and according to Dirkie. She said she wanted to go be with him but every Every grandmother after their husband dies says that my grandmother who basically on my mom's side basically killed my grandfather that of Course the asbestos cancer, but that's poisoning, but my grandfather gave her on his deathbed Yes, and then for the rest of her life, she would look up to the look up to the heavens say herb And then she would like pray to him, but she hated him and she made his life miserable Yes, so all of that was just nothing more than a manipulation because of course she lived about another 30 years And if I took every time she said oh, I wish I was dead like she would yearn for death

Of course, I took that literally and did duct tape her mouth until she died I think I would still be in the wrong. Well because I Grandmother's all that's just a part of there. This is part of their mental mind fuck They are trying to make themselves Okay with death by gaining agency over it perhaps where you sit on the aspect You're sitting constantly wishing for death kind of wondering whether or not you will take it upon yourself because she's looking at you And she thinks that like maybe just maybe my grandson's got the stones to do it He'll come in here because you see in your eyes go black. She's seeing you wrestle

Sure, see how big your hands are you know at the time you're emotionally maladjusted So you're just like you know God knows you probably woke up several times strangling teddy bear teddy bears in your sleep. Oh No, I never did I'm just I'm I didn't loading I You know what my dream is about you know what I dream about like the one that I had today Hmm this afternoon or this this morning, which I guess goes into the 10 30. No actually I was up in the morning Congratulations, man We're by guesses our day starts when the microphones turn on anyway today I had a dream where I was supposed to memorize all the songs from ween

I don't know how that crept in there Denver and it was it was the it was the ween fans from Denver that also drove Super rap acts there was the show it was three days from now I don't know any of the damn songs and I get very nervous and then I have a tense dream. Those are my dreams I don't dream about murdering my grandmother Although I did have some memories because I was hanging out with some old high school friends One time I was farting in the back of her car and then she just sprayed aerosol in my face for like five minutes Probably got me all messed up. Yeah, but that's cute. That's like a fun sitcom kind of fight people don't understand Grandmothers are some of the most dangerous human beings on the face of the planet for certain

They've seen everything. They don't care. They're not going to jail Well, especially she came there. She came here for more time. Germany. No, this is my mother. Oh, this is the bad one Yeah, no Well, this is the bad one because the other one Enough the other one just turned a blind eye, but she was very sweet. She was the one her pants always fell down Yeah, no, my that's my mother's side. That's that's that's um, my god, Lillian That's my mom's mom. Oh, that's her pants would fall down all the time. She's the bitch She was mean, but she also got a lot of guys drunk in the retirement home. Yes, sir

Remember, yeah, she brought the handle in there. I would I was so bad at basketball I was but I was so tall I would get my own rebounds and then I would never make the shot and then she stand up her pants would fall down and she Would say just give him the points give him the points and technically that was her being supportive Yes, although also extremely disappointed and very embarrassing. Yeah, of course at the same time Well, you know, if I was gonna kill you kiss, so don't worry. I would buy heroin We would do it the old school way. We'd put you to sleep. We just get you just go We'll get fill you with your favorite foods 25 years later after a great music career Ben died

We will just drive you to your favorite locations. You can go look at like we'll go down to the porthole Drive around you can go look at it You can go like anywhere you want to see and then we'll just shoot you up full of heroin in an Applebee's bathroom We'll just leave you there the porthole by the way one of the more interesting exotic clubs in Florida I was speaking with someone a gal who who? Who bartended there? She's like I used to bartend at the porthole And she put Christmas lights on the bottom of the bar, right? Sure because you kind of make it like a little life Yeah, you feel like yeah, maybe there's a holiday like time does pass inside of the porthole But then all the ladies got super pissed because she was fucking with their handy money because they give handies

And they're like you can't put the light there because that's our hand that's the handy spot anyway The porthole is a it's an American tradition. All right. Well, and you know what? I think it's still it made it through Cove it. Yeah, probably started it That may have been it All right, this is a story that I just think is I mean obviously it's not fair and there's a lot of things that are Again, there are problems deep within the story, but this is side stories, and that's the whole nature of this show Absolutely fast food staff arrested for not giving a police officer free burgers This is from Pakistan, and I just think it's a fun

I like this idea of just someone this is the kind of police corruption. I understand All 19 workers at a fast food restaurant in Pakistan were detained after refusing to give a group of police officers free burgers last week It's a bribery scam. They were trying to shake them down now This is the new this is apparently a big chain in Pakistan, which is Johnny and Jugnu Oh cool in Lahore. They were rounded up at what was it? It says Don't even try to know that time. What it is. It's a military GMT. What is We're not I think it means 1 p.m. Okay, this is not the first time something like this has happened at our restaurant A statement by the burger chain said nine police officers involved in the incident have now been suspended senior provincial

police officer in Amgani Announced the suspensions on Twitter saying no one is allowed to take the law into his own hands and justice will not be tolerated All of them will be punished. So you're telling me all it took in Pakistan was nine Officers to demand hamburgers for them to get suspended. Mm-hmm in this country You want in violence random murders in the street fine. Oh no people children shot in the head People choked to death in two forms. They're not even allowed to do anymore They're they're they are shocked to death with the what's it called the fucking tasers

They're stuck to that again and again again people blinded with pepper spray and then maybe a cop will get like a Vacation for a week. Honestly, it sounds nice. It sounds like a way to get out of work It seems like Pakistan is a little bit stricter on their police force and dare I say that might be better because they can't constantly be going to these burger joints and shaking them down for me upon Rejecting their request for free burgers more like a milkshake him down upon rejecting I did it. You did it. I didn't shake him down upon rejecting the air request for free burgers Which has become a common practice for them the police officers threatened our managers and left only to return the next day Do further harass and pressurize our teams. Oh my goodness leave these people alone

They just grabbed it. They grabbed the manager. They handcuffed him. They emptied the entire branch They took all of the kitchen crew including the rest of the managers. They handcuffed them What the restaurant also said the staff were not allowed to close down the kitchen They said all of the friars were still running Customers were waiting for their orders, and they're just out there all getting lined up and handcuffed Well now the more I think about it. This is a this is a kidnapping. It's a kidnapping This is not a demand for a burger. This has gone so insane This is terrorism this kind of is the scariest thing a cop can do and I do think in this country fast food

That might be where we draw the line. Oh, I think if you mess with the Burger King They truly will come down and lay the hammer down on you. We notice we haven't we haven't seen it happen And you'll wonder who who's grease and what palms with the hamburger grace rate Who's doing what who who how deep in the pocket is the police departments of the entire country a big food? Big food big taco. Well, do they let us know out there if you're working in one of these fantastic establishments Are they still doing like the free donut for a cop? You know that kind of stuff Is that still a thing or has that sort of gone by the wayside? I'm certain that there are places that you go and they you know They give you discounts

I imagine that like to me that seems actually pretty customary if you see somebody in uniform a lot of times You would give them some form like a Nazi like a Nazi uniform So if only if they've come from a school play Okay, cuz sometimes their actors I remember when we did diary of Anne Frank in high school Are you joking right now? No, of course not wait your school took on the story of Anne Frank Oh, you know how we can think about the amount of just seriousness and What we did the historical perspective us as 14 year olds had Well, I played mr. Fondant because I was the fattest one and I always play the older people

What was mr. Fondant's role when mr. Fondant always was sneaking the food Did he always snuck he snuck the food and that's why everybody thought I was the one who goes I am looking out for my family and I did that sort of accent to wow state competition. We did very well with that play Okay, it's just it's pretty it's an intense subject matter But I suppose it is and we did the modernized version because there was two major Broadway versions of diary van Frank There was one that was very Kind of plastic it was very family friendly and it was way more about how like how sad the Holocaust is yes Because it was okay. This is a young girl hiding in an attic so she won't be killed by Nazis

Who then does end up dying by the hands of Nazis? What do you mean? It was light-heart like how did they like what did they buffer it with? It was just way more. They didn't show any of the violence We did the modern version of it where the end of the play was Nazi officers coming in and Rounding us up right really fucking intense if you're gonna do it do it accurate and that's what happens So I agree with your decision and we had a Holocaust survivor come and speak to us She came this is how triggering was that it was it was interesting We had to learn we had to see because her whole story was and we were up in Because she had kind of the same story where she was stuck in like an attic type thing hiding

Yeah, and we dropped a jar of mustard Oh, and it broke and we all stood in silence and we said We all died. Oh my god I'm a jar of mustard But the thing was she came in a wheelchair and then when I was watching the parking lot You just got up and walk. So I don't know what happened. She could have been a whole act I don't think that's true. That's that's her. She's dead now. I'm God rest her. You know, I mean I feel so bad that she survived the Holocaust. I don't feel bad about that. I love that

I love that. I just feel so bad for her. She spent her twilight Looking at the face of 14 year old Henry Zabrowski Just be like how do I get in the inside the mind of a Nazi and we ate a bunch of beans It was huge for us But at the end of the we had to go and get at the time it was still very customary for people that did like historical Costume like because now I don't think they do the full Nazi uniform anymore. I don't know we got real vintage 1940s Nazi uniforms because also like you kind of don't want to answer be like how do we get these here in Balmover, Florida?

Um, but they also yeah, this is happening in Florida. There's having a large Jewish community I'm just wondering who was like we got to go see that honey There's a lot of Nazi memorabilia inside of like the pawn shops and antique shops of these like very small Florida towns And I wonder if it just comes from veterans because you know, my grandfather had shit that he stole off the dead Nazis Um, yeah, he had a gun. He had a ruler. Oh, that's kind of cool Which we had a luger which was pretty sweet He had like several like he had things in the south there were war trophies But we had 17 year olds in full Nazi regalia

And they were trying to get into like deep like character So they would walk around backstage and like terrorize us and shit and do all that kind of stuff But it was I think about that now about how like we definitely all went to McDonald's In full like costume and then like because after the show we'd go to Denny's because Denny's was open late So after the show you'd go and I remember them sitting there dressed as Nazis just eating the fucking moons over my hand Well, god knows innocent times innocent times when people cosplayed as nazis and didn't actually hold nazi beliefs As much as perhaps some do now any who we learned a lot about the holocaust that though that time and that and that's when I

And then I went and got my I got psychically regressed I went and got I did hypnotic regression and I went to my past lives Yes, because my mom was super connected to this but you were 14 years old. You're right there. You already remember What are you regressing to I went I saw myself in the holocaust. Oh my god. You are such a white woman You're like a white woman And that's not even an insult. I'm just saying you weren't in the holocaust You were not there I connected so deep in my character. I can't because I knew

I was there. I hate you Okay, uh, let's talk about sugar water. Shall we show her water sugar water sugar water sugar? No, that's fantastic. I'm sure you did a great job in that play and I'm sure your mother was very proud of you No, she'd go. No, she would never come to see one of my shows. Um, but when I also performed I remember my biggest compliment someone said I didn't know they let the teachers act in the play But I think that's because I was so fat Any who that's what a character actor used to be I know what character actors are well Maybe you're a little bit overweight because of sugar. You have to be very careful

Apparently there's this woman. Her name is Karina Smith. She's 59. Uh, she attacked this dude His name is Michael Baines. He was 81 years old. He was just chilling in bed because I think that's what you do Well, they I think they were in a fight Yeah, they were in there were in a bit of a in a bit of a scuffle And usually when you like hear that somebody got burned, you're like that must have Required some fire or some oil, but this woman she She took some water mix it with some sugar boiled it up and then just made this man a human laffy taffy And I just feel like another way

To die that is absolutely worse than I could think of I don't want to be burned with sugar water She got she candied him. She candied him. Karina Smith 59 years old to her husband. He was 81 years old And so this was one of those like they he's not dead. I apologize. He's not that he's dead. No, he's dead Did he die? Oh, he's dead. He did die. Oh my god. I don't apologize. According to this. This is in the uk Um, so she was her husband's caretaker. They were in some kind of dispute apparently that's what they said and another family member So after midnight she took a bucket from her garden and then went all the way she set this all up And I don't know why she put sugar in it. It was a big bucket. That's gonna get the burn I don't it does it make it burn more sticky. Yeah, I would put salt in it. Have you ever seen sugar gets very dangerous

What you can melt the sugar and it'll burn your face right off. It's almost as bad as acid Not quite. It's a whale of a tail. You're saying right there. Honestly, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know who to believe Um, but she poured the liquid all over him while he was sleeping and then she ran to her neighbor's house and Tia's saying I've hurt him. I've hurt him really bad. I'll think of killed him. Okay. Well, that's never a knock you want to get on the door Just to be like who why you did what? That's why I don't answer the door unless you text me first If you uh, if I if someone knocks on your door screaming, I've heard him. I've heard him You will you have to answer the door. There's nothing else you what else you gonna do? Only if I know I guess if I know the person But honestly, I just go and just try to keep that whole plausible

Deniability factor of my life. So she was found guilty of murder. This is bad. This past this was this week and According to everyone, they say this was a very brutal and painful way to die. She confessed to manslaughter Um, but the cps which is uh, you know, the legal the part of the legal process over there They still wear wigs. Is that right? They said no, we're not going to let you confess to manslaughter They said no, we're not going to let you confess to manslaughter. This was murder And you were deliberate and it was bad and it was considered So, uh, they went with the straight-up mirror dare as opposed to manslaughter And um, I have no idea what they were fighting about. He's 81. She's 59 at some point boil him alive to kill him

With boiling water. Yeah is I do think that yeah, that's probably the worst way to die because then it took him six days to die So he had to go into the hospital, which sucks sucks. You're covered in third-degree burns, right sucks You just you scream And then you die I'm certain they must have put a line in him and you give him a bunch of morphine and then you just kind of be like Well, I guess he doesn't love I I also I'm not quite certain because I know that I know that you die as a result of burns Because normally like when you're set on fire you suffocate, right? That's normally the way you die Situation I would just breathe in really quick and be like I gotta pass out here, dude

Yes, but I also when you get burnt like that I'm not quite certain what it is that kills you besides just the general trauma Which could kill you especially at 81 skin is the largest organ on the body You mess with that too much you mess with too much skin and you're gonna find yourself dead Is that true because I know when they painted that one girl gold Did she die? She died. It was on gold dust. Was it gold dust? Gold member Gold dust is the wrestler. I painted. Are you a gold member is the awesome powers movie gold finger somebody died

Interesting. No, I'm saying I may be saying a fucking I spray painted myself with gold in college one time for fun And I didn't die go go go woman painted gold dies. I'm looking this up. I'm looking okay Let's see here. We have a google search portion of the show. I'm gonna look this up here. We go and no she died in 76 1976 yeah, she was nude and then the yeah, she died at night. She died in seven. He dies at 76 in 2020 Oh, she just died. Oh, she just died. No fucking shit So she was painted gold 30 years ago and nothing happened or it's got nothing It's not an interesting story and it's not pertinent what we're talking about fantastic So the thing is this woman Karina Smith again. She's 59. She killed her husband

Who was 81 years old Michael Baines? They were married for 38 years So we have a situation here 81 minus 38 That is And she's 22 so she's 22 years. So he got a spring chicken. No because they were married for 38 So he got a he got a real young gale. He was in his 40s and then hell. Yeah, I don't know Well, sure, but then it seems as if there may have been something Because we talk about we talk about abusive relationships and there was no one more dangerous Then one of these 30-something year old gales sniffing around the 80 year old waiting for them to die

I don't know but that's scary If you are at that point and you're 80s and you're in your 80s and you're looking at one of these 30 year olds And you know, you're gonna die anyway. At least you can get a couple of nice suckies Maybe you could like play with some boobies right before you die. I mean, honestly, that's what you're looking for That's what Anna Nicole Smith did with her billionaire guy that she he lived the dream for about five years His family was a little bit sad though because then they lost a lot of the money They should have had bigger tits and they should have had better jobs I actually support Anna. If that family wanted more money, they should have been an Ann and Nicole Smith

They could have made themselves into Ann and Nicole Smith. Take care of them. Make yourself Indispensable to the rich Ann and Nicole Smith. All right, Pete You know, I still think about her sometimes her lawyer Howard Stern not the radio DJ Her lawyer's name was Howard Stern and that man. I almost think I'm surprised. No stories have come out about him Because I think he kind of killed her Something did flow for what happened. I forget the story of Ann and Nicole. Like I remember her death Everyone was like super shocked. But then also like this lawyer was really weird. He's 52 years young

He does look not a day over. He's got libel and defamation lawsuits all over him prosecution for conspiracy Um, they said because he might have been involved somewhat in the death. They don't know what happened there So, yeah, yeah, he's a he's a troubled individual that you don't want to trust. Okay. There you go All right, so be very careful and if you see your significant other cooking nothing but water and sugar Just staring at you like you're about to become a fantastic luscious starburst You got to say what's wrong bed. I'm sorry bed bed and get some flowers Dude get some flowers guys. Yeah, come on. It can deflate so many murders. It could

So this is the story of a another useless young man Iowa man 20 accused of killing parents and younger sister inside home and he's been allegedly blaming a mass intruder He's been doing the he must have been some kind of asian Which is a joke from um cable guy cable guy. Um, Alexander ken jackson Uh, this guy he killed this parent 61 year old jan jackson and 68 year old melissa jackson and his sister 19 year old Oh, my god, what a scumbag and the reason why it happened is the same thing that happened last summer to remember We had that other wackadoo dude who killed his parents. Um, because they asked him to move out get out of the house You're 20. I had a a to countdown aka calendar as soon as I turned 18

I'm out of here. Well, it's goes on. So who wants to stay at home with their parents What's nice about your parents creating an unpleasant environment for you to live in is that it makes you independent It makes you want to leave and do things It makes you want to live your life outside of your parents home Yeah, the amount of the amount of stress and trauma that catapulted me out of my home You almost think perhaps it was needed in a way. Honestly, it does help I had I thank to my parents later on you've been like you helped me get out of the house And it was really nice. Um, but this guy he didn't want out of the house

So he shot everybody in the house and then there was one family friend that was staying with them Who only wants to be identified as alexander who got shot in the foot? And when he said that he did wake up to being shot By a man in a mask, but it seems to be the same exact shape size Height and because he is a specific shape. Yes. He's a bit of a he's a bit of a He's a horse. He's a doughy dude And so they went in there and he was wearing a mask and he thought that he would be able to get away with it by Shooting everybody, but he was wrong because guess what he is a moron. He is a moron

Also, this reminds me a little bit of amityville This story is is he going with any kind of possession angle because in his defense? I'm sure he's gonna hear voices and he spoke to she spoke to satan is or is he just like i'm a fucking asshole His whole thing is I was asleep and they a man came and killed everyone and I didn't hear it I just woke up to a massacre But you gotta lay off the ambient. Yeah, if you're sleeping through a mass murder at your house Also, let's be honest if an intruder broke in he's killing him first because this guy is the biggest threat to the intruder Of course the intruder goes down the line of the most powerful and then does what they do with the uh

With the people who can't physically beat them. So his whole story is horses. That's why I say cut the gas line explode the house That's what that woman did earlier to her grandmother. Yeah, but if you really want to wipe everybody out That's how you do it you do it fast Okay, and it's a really hard because honestly they really have to figure out if you can cut the gas line in a way Then no one can really tell what's going on. It could say it's some kind of mechanical like Faulty thing inside of your home and that then insurances and even look for arson. Yeah, that's very true Although I think that's half of insurance companies is just looking for all um actually that would be a fun When they don't pay anything insurance companies don't pay anything. Anyway, so it doesn't matter

I don't know do any gas pumps work in this country But I seriously don't know what i'm paying for my insurance because it's not accepted anywhere So, I don't know what's happening. I don't know. I don't know. It's kind of fun. It's fun. It's cool It's cool. I'm not I'm not filled with rage about it I'm gonna remind me about the Tyler Hadley story that I was I forgot about this story about the dude that killed his parents So that he could throw the rage of all rage in his house And there's a really good rolling stone breakdown of his that whole story Because he is just such a piece of shit. It also kind of brought back

Like high school a little bit because you know the whole thing was that he was this kind of loser Quiet guy at school and he kept saying like we're gonna have a big party at my house on saturday Everyone's just like fucking big if true see if it happens And so like all day people being like parties going on tonight and he's just like Maybe hit me up dude hit me up, you know, everyone's just like, all right We'll see what's going on and then finally he sent out one facebook message being like party on And then everybody rolls in and then he did beat his parents to death with a hammer Because he had to take three xd pills to do it to psych himself up. He beat the both of them to death

He said because I thought ecstasy was supposed to make you love people. I don't know Honestly, I would never use ecstasy to kill somebody. You know what I would use. I would look at my insurance paperwork Yes, because that's what really riles you up, but he uh, he had to go through But this story is really interesting because they just trashed this fucking house and everybody knows but you should read that rolling stone Yet breakdown of it because it I forgot just how number one big the party was And how brutal the murder was. Yeah, dude. I don't like it Look at your kids, man Just be like you tripping right now, dude because I heard that that makes you want to kill your parents

You being tripping aggressive right now Also the inverse of that check out mom and dad Love that move. I like parents revenge too. I do too But yeah, some of the messages just to show how young this tyler hadley kid was He's uh doing a text exchange with antonio ramirez. He says supper up and then antonio says chilling what you do tonight He said trying to have a party at my crib. This is so 2014. He's a yes And he said your parents in home He's like nope

And then tyler said well they're leaving soon and then he said party at my crib tonight Maybe and then he killed his parents and then the party was fucking aw dude But then they just absolutely destroyed that house But you know it was really interesting to see how many eyewitnesses were like man And then fucking the beer pong like the ball Fucking fell into a bunch of like it was like red. It was just like crazy fucking red like mud It's good. It's like everywhere. I know it's like you pick it up. We're like game on whatever brow And I thought it was weird that it was like red. I was like, oh, it's kind of chocolate sauce. Yeah

Let's go Beck is here But yeah, they were all slathered in blood. The house was slathered in blood He beat the fucking he beat them to death with my hammer It's so he said it took him three hours to clean up the blood And then it wasn't until the next day when he called his buddy over He's like a good deal. He's so fucking important man And then they walked down to the stop sign and he's just like I'll kill my fucking parents, bro

And he's like, why are you telling me? And with that information, I don't know what to do other than slowly back away And unfortunately you forced me to call the police, which is something I hate to do I don't want to call the police and initially tyler this guy was such a prude He said don't smoke in the house But he knew his parents were dead But then after the party started happening and he was like you can smoke inside He got cooler as the party went his parents were his cars

His parents cars were parked out front of the house No one had a single single thing to say about it. They're all like you don't have said anything They obviously didn't leave and there was just one room you couldn't go into Dude, some of this shit is yeah, check out this rolling star article. There was a at one point a skater rolled by There was some kind of big cash in he's like, so wait a second. What happened to your parents? He's like your party was phoneless. I he's like and then he's like, hey, you know, it's crazy I might have one again tomorrow night God because my parents might be going away for a while. Whoa, wait a second. Are you moving or your vacation?

It's some kind of a cash room. He's like he's going away Dude, these are such children at one point a skater goes by he says Or one point a skater says I smell dead people and then this dude Mike looked up and he's like what's that supposed to mean? He said, oh, I don't know. Some people are smoking. That's all so it's just Again, it's scary because you have the mind of a child But the body of a teen because the dude he's a big guy where he was like he was a He was six foot tall like dude like he just turned on his parents because that's the thing is that that's why I'm always scared of High school kids because they're the ones with nothing to lose and they're jacked at 17. They're all full of hormones

They're technically supposed to be squirting children if this was medieval times They're supposed to be making a bunch of People that'll work the field with their comp. Yeah, well, I guess they could also and it's also the casual parents with a hammer This is also such a high school thing too and a young kid thing too, which is like the casual thing of like Tyler telling people He's like, I don't know what's going on because I'm thinking of fucking killing myself And everyone just being like word All I know is trust your kids would verify and lock the door at night of your room That's the key keep a barrier between you and your child after 16 years old until they get to 21

One sure or until they just get out of the house and then they can do all of the fun things They've always wanted to do. Yes. All right. Well, let's do a hero of the week. Yes Okay, this week's hero of the week. It's another dog. So this is digby the dog I'm just glad it's more more heroes that Actually can't choose what they're doing. Yeah. Well, this dog did so this woman was suicidal and this dog His name is digby and digby is super cute adam works his dog's name is also digby. I know I love it Oh, yep. So she had this idea. She was getting Really depressed and then um, she used to be doing a lot of therapy and stuff

And they called digby a diffusing dog who was used during talk therapy So this woman was super sad and then they called up digby and digby said to her I know what you're going through. I'm digby the dog. Everything's gonna be all right, dude Don't even worry about it. Digby is cool digby is here for you It's kind of a trick and then she didn't and then she didn't commit suicide Yeah, it is it works though. They bring out a cute dog I've never heard of this before because she was sitting on she was sitting on the balcony She was sitting going to jump. Yep, and they just bring out a cute dog by the cops and they're like see the skew dog

I'm telling you It works. This is what this is according to um Digby's trainer. They say huge thanks to digby's handler matt for a superb job today The training and support he gives digby every day and what the duo do for crews who have experienced traumatic situations hashtag dream team That's huge, but honestly, you know what you need to do for me What if you have my variety fucking about the jump what I need a big old aluminum foil pan filled with pull pork And then I'll roll them billy. All right. I'll give it a try. Yes. Is this is carolina carolina pullboard Is that the one you like the most? I don't know. Isn't that the dry?

No, I didn't agree. What is the dry? That's well technically a st. Louis, st. Louis, Kansas city that type. That's a dry rub Texas is a wet room. I like that wet room. Yeah, I know you do I know what your behaviors are any hoot another message about digby says my own experience can testify that dogs can pull people back from the very lowest moments All power to digby and especially to the lady. I hope she gets all the support that she needs and look at digby there He's kind of a bigger dog than you might know. He's a cute little. He's just a good dog. He's shaggy. He's good And also apparently digby sucks dick. No, he does not. That's how it helps. No, that would not be good for digby or anyone Okay, let's move on Henry. You have letters Letters now time for some listener emails. Thank you

A few years ago I was living in denver and one of my co-workers was told me a very recent story A few frat boys that they knew were messing around in the many fields of colorado Which we saw it's what a beautiful beautiful man colorado is so freaking gorgeous And again, thanks to the people of denver who came out to red rocks everyone was so unbelievably sweet It was sort of be incredibly those incredibly hip those neighborhoods like re-ron and I didn't experience though. It was fun. Um And so these these frat boys they kept running up on some groundhogs to scare them and looking in their groundhog holes and all that shit

These are some college kids no older than 22 just some hard-headed frat boy types messing around leave them alone Leave them alone the groundhog alone about three days later. They all started feeling sick noticing little warts on their skin They go to the doctor to see what's going on and they find out it's the bubonic play What yep They were probably surprised and terrified of that news and then it got worse because the plague had already started showing lesions There was basically nothing that they could do the plague is pretty easy to defeat if you catch it quick with antibiotics But at that point the doctor told them they basically had about three days to live what all of them died Moral of the story

Don't fuck with groundhogs don't fuck with groundhogs. We learned that from well, I guess that was a gopher and caddy shack, but similar How there's no other explanation how they just looked in a hole in the ground and got leaves from the groundhogs jumped and Fit them while they were there and gave them the plague it is still out there bubonic plague is live. It's real It's not looking for a comeback because it's right there. Oh my god Just when we weren't horrified enough the bubonic plague is still out there This is a story that I wanted to talk about I wanted to read this letter specifically because I brought up on last episode about the idea that disney

Hides the fact that nobody dies on disney grounds by if you die on disney grounds They move you off in order to declare you dead somewhere else sure and according to snopes and to certain other people And some incensed emails that are like That's a fucking myth. It's not real. I mean, you don't all sound like that But some of you do many do but the thing is is that I know From certain personal connections that it is indeed real So you're pushing back on snopes and I have a statement from somebody that agrees with me That says that this is because I've looked this up before okay. I believe you so we'll see maybe maybe it's deeper

Maybe it's deeper deeper. It's even more incorrect. But who knows I challenge me. I don't care because we're here But this is about illumination here. I agree and snopes is not Impervious to being wrong who knows So regarding to Henry's statement on the latest side stories about disney land and their policy on death at the park No one is ruled dead on site No matter how cold the body or how much of it has been done to being hosed off the ride and he is absolutely correct I work graveyard and have for a while hearing of other employees dying in the park while not common Happens a couple of times a year. It's usually due to heart attack. It's kind of common. I mean if you have hundreds of employees, right?

Who knows? All right. All right. It's usually due to heart attack or pre-existing conditions The latest ones I had I'd become aware of is an older person who works on the rides Had went off to do a job on his own and when they went to go check on him after failing to return for a few hours They found him dead in a maintenance bay The other is a worker who was working on a large theater on site and that the public has access to And it had happened again overnight He had not tied off property while working in the rafters and fell several stories down onto the chairs below And that and the ride that is currently being built for toon town led to an outside contractor's death

As he was crushed while laying down new cables and the steel plates that had held back the dirt for the trenches failed And fell on top of him with dirt pouring on top the last one I had witnessed shortly after the incident before the ambulance ambulance and news vans had arrived Disney's way of getting around to this most often is to get EMTs to respond over paramedics as EMTs cannot pronounce someone dead And must wait until the body is transferred to a hospital or a doctor to call it This is much more common with the overnight cruise as it is easier to hide from the public eye If you're interested in more gruesome deaths, then check out the things that have happened with at the Matterhorn that the Matterhorn Which is true the Matterhorn's always closed down

Woman falling and getting cheese grated until only her legs sticking out where the identifiable parts cheese big thunder mountain Coupling and axle failures leading to a nearly decapitated head of a head of a man and severe head injury to a child Rivers of America an improperly secured boat leading to a dock anchor shooting off and smashing someone's face in the monorail Multiple crushed deaths from riding over people trying to sneak into the park songs of America another crushed death That's a cast member Roger Rabbit ride parents trying to hand off a child to another car Dropping child and they get and they get pinned and crushed between the vehicles They were trying to hot potato their kid. Well, they were on a freaking on the ride

And the Roger Rabbit ride just moves in circles like all frenetically right and the people mover Two separate events of teenagers trying to jump between cars and getting crushed and killed leading it to be nicknamed the people remover But just don't but that's what so it does happen It does happen It sounds like it does and it's all with the backdrop of looney tunes music And just like fun like hey, aren't you having fun? Big beautiful tomorrow Getting crushed by this monorail, but it is fun. And here's one last because this is one last story

I went to st. James for a few years as a kid. This is the story. Remember the nun last week that got arrested to finally We're stealing some of that money. Yeah, 800 or $835,000 like reimbursing. She embezzled Yeah, she had she had to go to Vegas and gamble. Sure. My dad wanted me in a catholic school thinking Thinking it would be safer than public school. We weren't particularly religious in any way and other than being irish and latina So as per tradition your baptize has maybe done sure anyway I was in elementary school there and I was a weird queer weirdo nerd who was not well socialized because Overprotective dad and therefore was awkward as hell and bully daily Especially by the kids who had money

One day a couple of years in and a few bitch fest later Everything culminated in a sit-down because I finally got back at my biggest bully during a game of Pictionary I had drawn miss Peggy, but instead I said it was this home girl who used to tease me the most I knew I was gonna get in trouble, but I was over it once pulled into Mary Margaret's office No, no, of course not but once pulled into Mary Margaret's office I had asked why she had never did anything about stopping the people who tease me She said some people were made by god to be bullied Oh, and I was there for the others to feel better about themselves. What the fuck is going on in this country?

This is a mean ass woman. Also. She could tell I was gay, right gay game sees game here Asis or is what she says and that god couldn't help people like me I was damned to be a loser and when my dad came in and I told him what she said She called me a liar to my dad and said I was a filthy lesbian. Oh my goodness, which is hey You that's the cheetah is right. So this woman's always been a bitch. Yes. She has wow And then they pulled her out and that was at 10 years old. Oh my god. All right. Well, fuck that nun then I defended her slightly just because she's I also like people who embezzle money from the church. It's kind of funny to me

Also, you think about a nun and then she's like but it only works if the nun is very pious and very sweet Of course, and everybody loves her and then you loves her and then you find out She has a bunch of money inside of her crevices and she's walking out with a large gate because she's stealing all the community cash Yeah, that's incredible. Fuck that. Fuck that nun and I'm happy that you made it through that as a young child That could be very very devastating. Of course from uh, especially coming from an authority figure. Yes. All right, everyone Well, thank you all so much for listening guys. We are prepping you right now because we're gonna be saying this next couple weeks We're about to do a big date dump

Date dump date dump date dump 2021 on you because we are going to be hitting the road hardcore We can't tell you where we're going yet But we want you to know that we know where we're going Sort of and then you will know when we're allowed to tell you. Yes, and of course that's great That's information because this is what we were told to say by our agents Yeah, they uh, they don't help us at all with messaging So we promise you we have some dates coming in the very near future We can't wait to see you all on the road and again, thanks to everyone who came out uh to red rocks

That was just such a once in a lifetime. I am so overwhelmed by last week. Everyone was just so sweet And I can't I can already tell people we had a little we had oh my god We're adulting so we had a baby shower for the three women that we know are pregnant Um, and it was just so amazing to get everyone together again people you don't see and people who you could tell Some people who stayed in their house for past year and a half and other people who like so associated with folks a little bit Yeah, because it was like do you remember humans? No, it means a lot. It's very sweet It's just it's so good to see human faces again Because you're gonna remember that all of the things that you read about on the internet are not real

And I like to see their faces and I like to see people's faces you can connect again And it does mean quite a bit. I you know, I focus a lot on teeth Isn't that weird? All right, everyone you have to do your triple l I'm just so confused, but I guess I love the idea that you live I think of you you live your life looking at people's teeth Like what like you want to collect them like they're no I like kind of attracted to mouths But the people's teeth you laugh at the idea of smashing their mouths and taking your teeth making them to cufflinks and that you love That that's a thing that you like that you think the teeth are human jewelry or

No, did you finish it? Yes. Okay. Thank you all so much for listening. I hope you're happy and safe out there Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Magus dilations Hell man, indeed. Don't kill your grandma This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com