Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Tastes Like Tradition

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's tastiest stories and true crime news - Leader of Zizian Murder Cult arrested in Maryland, Jack the Ripper DNA reveals a likely perpetrator, The 82nd Annual Danville Lions Club Raccoon Dinner, Louisville Vape Store owner charged after pepper spraying anus of fleeing shoplifter, Michigan judge issues car washes to clean up act of Walmart shoplifters, "City Killer" asteroid on track to collide with Earth, Cloacal Malformations, Anal Pregnancies, Listener E-Mails, and MORE! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

From the boogie down streets of Queens, to a pile of beans, a new cup of piping hot, Polish-Italian Java, last podcast on the left, and Spring Hill Jack coffee are rising from the rubble with the new brew on. Butterfly Dudes, Blue Eye Blend, nothing to do with any moth-based entity, don't even think about it. This is a Butterfly Dude. Don't mind the blue eyes, he's just Caucasian. Our new proprietary roast might seem eerily similar, but don't let your tongue deceive you. It's a Butterfly Dude roast.

This is the Butterfly Dude's Blue-Eye Blend. Entirely delicious and not just the same beans. Butterfly Dude's Blue-Eye Blend. From the cocoon to your room. Hahaha! There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left.

Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, shit! Alright, we are good. Good. Man, I am looking at this picture right now I typed for some reason I went through this thing and I found a bunch of is it of Kelly Riley?

No, I don't want to do that's all you're doing. That's all you're talking about these bring her up You you're gonna get in trouble. No, I did it. I kept it off Mike. I hope you never meet her No, I don't want to you keep that seductress away from me in my home. I don't need this woman destroying my family I don't know my marriage She was British. Yes. No that she's from Brestington. Yeah, you're testing. Oh, I'm sorry Yes, Chessington. Yes, but yeah first for sure Chessington. I'm referring to the fake Texan Kelly Riley Yes is on Yellowstone. Yes. She's a Montanaanan. She's I am I'm just I'm just die She's she's I'm a fan and she has been telepathically telling me

She has been telling me through the internet that she's in love with me and then unfortunately I have to come and kill her husband Yeah, but that's something else. That's a whole other side story. That's not on side stories. I did want to show you this What is this? This is from Brazilian wax museum. This is a picture Supposed to be Pope this. What is this? This is from Brazilian wax museum. This is a picture Is that supposed to be Pope Francis? This is Pope Francis That does not look like Pope Francis, but I think what's really funny guess it was him Yes, but you know what's funny about it. Well, it looks like that now Really? Have you seen the pictures of now he evolved into this well? He's got like bloated dying face because the Pope's dying. Yes. He's got pneumonia at 88. I don't care how many Catholic Hospitals you got working on you

But once this guy's got there's no worse po there is the worst No, he's not he's lying no fucking lying Eddie no he walked it all back. He's a fucking liar He's a little-headed Elfin shoes Not like gay people. No, he's a fucking piece of shit. He walked it all back. Fuck him I can't wait to see his dad Francis doesn't like gay people No, Pope Francis can fucking suck a dick, but he wouldn't because he's afraid welcome to side story doesn't like gay people He certainly picked a pretty gay way to call himself Frank exactly My name is Henry Zabrowski, I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Oh, no Henry. It's Kelly Riley. No Kelly Riley

Get away from me. You get the hell away from me You get the hell away from me you homewrecker You you're gross. I hate you Kelly Riley you get out of here We're bringing before this off mic mom. I was expressing my admiration for Kelly Riley as a performer. Oh, yeah What movies has she been in? She's the one I made it. There was one movie. I saw in my dreams where She was the female captain of the ship and I was the first mate And I had to go in there and I said let's put the mate

Even my dreams I was rejected but I have a beautiful wife Who does look a lot like Kelly Riley kind of works out for me. Yeah, I know it is adorable that you're constantly Attracted to women that look like Natalie. Yes, but also it's like to me, and I've said this to her before, nothing would make me happier for her to go out on a mission and kill this woman. Really? Only just because I would find it incredibly hot.

Them fighting each other. Oh yeah. And then her subsequent beating Kelly Riley. Only because it would be fun to watch. Well, how do you know she'd win? Because Kelly Riley has no training and she doesn't know what's coming. She doesn't win because Kelly Riley has no training and she doesn't know It's coming. She doesn't have training. You're right, and she doesn't know what's coming. Well now she does she's not listening the warnings out

No, she's not going to yeah These are my this is Mike Rational she's not this can oh you're Google AI fuck you yes Kelly Riley can fight As she's demonstrated in a role as Beth Dutton on the show Yellow Stone. Yes. Not the way, not like- Well, she famously lost a fight in that show.

Well, I'm not quite aware of that performance of hers. She's all bloody and her fucking breasts are out though. I saw some clips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking, it's a hell of a scene. I like this. Although the fight scenes may look real and bloody, the actors must stay in the mindset of being ferocious Which can be exhausting?

Thanks Google AI All right So besides my I guess a warning to Kelly Riley just warn her I just just tell her I mean no harm tell her we want her on the show Ask her if she knows anything about aliens or flat earth We talked about this earlier today That would be great honestly if I could get two of those in there we can have her on the show I But we we got big updates. Oh, yes

one of the biggest updates is Can we do we have the Polish national anthem? Just think we're allowed to play that yeah, right? Yeah, that's me we have to play because I can't're allowed to play that. Yeah, right? That's a, we have to play because again. Is that Ding Dong the Witch's Dead? Yeah, I do believe, yeah. Roll out the barrel, roll out the barrels again. Two sausages for me, three for you.

Ha ha ha ha. We just wanna say congratulations to the fatherland As it turns out Jack the Ripper is Polish. What? Yep. We got The first Polish serial killer no first and last well biggest man most Richie Kukinski was aha. He was in a very good employee Most yes, rich kukinski was aha. He was in a very good employee That loved his job see Jack the Ripper now. This has been contested for at least a decade It's DNA evidence, but this is it's been contested

We are still waiting on the final publication of the peer reviewed study of this DNA But it's getting closer and closer every day. Now, according to historian, and I believe they call him ripper ologists, which is what we were when we covered Jack the Ripper million years ago. That's what we became. So you're a ripper ologist. I was, but I will always remember this was my favorite suspect back in the day. Okay. So this is I'm, I'm so happy for him. No, it's not new. Russell Edwards is a historian slash ripperologist that has been saying that, so a piece of what, I guess, is old timey cum was on a scarf

of Catherine Eddowes, of one of the victims of Jack the Ripper. Okay. And this man has been, I guess, in this decades long hunt to finally finalize this DNA testing and apparently using a family member of the Polish barber Aaron Kosminski there is a match they're saying that they so now but they still have to go away They have to verify everything again. So it is still not Permanent it is not yet. Can I be an asshole real quick every day? All right, so he killed sex workers, right? Yeah

What if he was the guy before? What do you mean? What if like she worked with him earlier that evening and he came on her scarf? Well, this is a and then like later on that night She got killed by someone else the only thing that it seems to attach to it It's the fact that Aaron Kaminsky it would Aaron Kosminski being there at all would be massive Him because he's Polish. Well, no, what's he doing there? Well, it's because of the wayline. He has all the attributes So we think we think that he was mentally ill they suffer from signs of schizophrenia. He said they had auditory and visual Hallucinations like most of the people in my family. Of course, but that's just because they're super creative and then Aaron Kosminski was a

barber surgeon So if anybody had any butcher so he had all these skill sets to cut and divide which is exactly happened all of these So it was a mixture of both surgical cuts and raw animalistic cuts on all of the victims So a mixture of these two things kind of fighting inside of somebody. So he kind of, and he had both. He then was locked up in an insane asylum in which he died. And when he was locked up, the Jack the Ripper crimes stopped. Okay. And we, so that is the main why we think it's him. And now they're saying that this is, we are one step closer to naming Aaron Kuzminski, that as he will be Jack the Ripper. Eventually Jack the Ripper will disappear

and will only be Aaron Kuzminski. It's crazy how it's like two Johnny Depp movies came together, Sweeney Todd and From Hell. Yeah. To be the real thing. The real thing. But there are other, I looked up other Polish serial killers. There's really not many

No, there's George Chapman. There's voters law the first I mean, they're always killed They're like it's the problem is is that I killed her I did it when you stab a bunch of tricks Or you stab a bunch of Cheerios. Yeah, you leave a lot of mess. I Get it. You know what? I'm serious killer Polish. I love it. We're being dumb here You know, we're allowed is Joseph's of kruzki sk which was the desire kruzki family was a family of Polish murderers Which honestly sounds great, but the most they did it for robbery. They murdered other families. Honestly, this sounds like an amazing story Yeah, we should do this story Wow quick Wikipedia search really just found a new three-part LPS Yeah, Kazimierz, this Kazimierz Polis Polisera killer pedophile killed two young boys and an adult man So not a gold star pedophile. No

Judgment on you and So it looks like if it all you know fingers crossed if crossed, if this all comes out, if the tests come out right, Jack the Ripper will be Polish, which is the biggest get that the Polish community has had since vegan kielbasa. Yeah, we haven't had, is there vegan kielbasa? Unfortunately, yes, but you know where it's really good? What the hell is the name of this restaurant?

The Vegan's Place? Apteka, that's where you gotta go. It's a vegan Polish place in Pittsburgh called a pekka really it's amazing interesting super delicious vegan Polish food Yeah, it's really really good I don't still know if I could make the choice to eat vegan Polish food when you can eat normal absolutely no reason to Yeah, and it's really fucking stupid. I don't know why they did it, but it's a big debt for Polish people Yeah, because these are vegan. No, they are absolutely what do you mean? They're not they're not their eggs sometimes in the dough for the for the the the the noodle

That's right. You got the fucking all the stuff in there like, you know, it's not necessarily vegan when you're cooking it You'd have to do it in a vegetable broth. Yeah, cuz exactly and then the potato you got cheese in there They're not traditionally vegan. And so I, you know, but it's good for us. It's good for optics. This is good for Polish optics. Yeah, yeah, now that we seem worse somehow. At least before we were murderers.

No, I'm saying the vegan Polish food is good for optics. Oh, it's gonna keep them alive. Yes, I'm saying that no, the Jack the Ripper being Polish just as fun Yeah, I think the vegan Polish restaurant would do better if they didn't tell people it was vegan Well, they have to go they say healthy, but Polish food if you don't and if it's like remember the Chris Farley commercial when they switch The coffee to the crystals. Yeah, what do you think's gonna happen in Pittsburgh if you lie? when they switch the coffee to the crystals. What do you think's gonna happen in Pittsburgh? If you lie to a Yenzer about the food he just ate is vegan,

he's gonna fucking shoot you in the head. Man, I gotta say, I've been watching the show, The Pit. I've been loving it. I really do love this show. Is that the show where you just sit in the shower and watch little boys wash each other? Is that that show or is it a... I'm so glad I got that waterproof case for my phone? No, but

the the pit the new hospital procedure show it's just like I don't like hospital procedure shows now I watched it, you know, I was like, I'll just put it on for the hell of it blew my mind. I fucking cried twice. What the fuck commercial for the talk to my doctor friends about the pit. I was like, all right, is this real? And they're like, apparently it's like the most accurate doctor show that's ever existed, but there's no yens and it's all takes place in Pittsburgh. Oh yeah. No one's yinning it up. It's like very accurate as far as like an emergency room goes, but not to the environment. One yen in the fucking show. If you met a Pittsburgh nurse, especially in the fucking er

Like the people coming through my mother-in-law is a pittsburgh nurse Yeah, and that yin's accent so strong you guys would you if you met a pittsburgh nurse, you wouldn't understand her english Yeah, that's how thick her pittsburgh accent is you would not think it would be like you're in a foreign country That is the rural heart of pittsburgh and of Pittsburgh. And that's a working person's accent. Yeah, they should have just put it somewhere where people don't have strong accents, you know? Because it was like, you know, Chicago hope worked out. I guess Chicago even has it.

But this is like- Yeah, but Chicago accent's very rare. I feel like the Chicago accent I only even really hear from a big fat piece of shit. You know what I mean? It's always someone like, get the fuck away from me type of but not in a bad way I don't even mean that as I stepped on my shoes. I don't mean that as an insult. Yeah No, that's just a type of guy. It's just a fact in Chicago. Yeah, we know this Yeah, but I think yeah, no, I love the show. I think it's great But I didn't I'm just mad about the lack of yin. Well, I will say that not only Eddie

I'm so glad that he told me he's into medical dramas. He also showed me another really sad fact is that we were right before the show. We were talking about how cool we used to be and how much fun we used to have. And Eddie brought up the only way he's allowed to enjoy things with sugar now is that he has to get flavored kefir from the store. Yeah. And then he just puts a spoon of it in his mouth at night. Yeah. He just lets it sit in his mouth. That's how I do it. It keeps me from eating a fucking little Debbie King. I think we're the saddest. Yeah. That's your forties, man. If you're younger, enjoy it.

I actively eat seeds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh, yeah, she has seeds every morning every morning every morning. I hate it. It does something good to me I don't get stuck in my teeth. I don't feel any different. Why am I eating? I feel no different. I don't know they said this thing. I'm just doing it. I didn't tell me to Do it because you're doing it. Yeah the probiotic Sam! I'm doing it because you're doing it! Yeah, the probiotic scene, the pill in it! Sam, because you're doing it! I feel no difference!

Also, it's like, but at the same time, I was consistently feeling worse! See, this is nice, but then the calming is here. The calming is here for both of us. And to remember... Sometimes you need probiotics. Yes, you do. Yeah, just take them. Eat your kefir.

And sometimes, you have to trust the goat Because the goat is in the field. Yeah, and it's cheese is you know slightly healthier. Sure And the goat you wouldn't do anything to hurt you nah nah Woody nah Now I'm getting angry again. Alright, so we got more updates.

More updates! We are in Zizness, folks! Yeah, we are in Zizness, and Zizness is good. The Ziz. I'm gonna start calling calling that's what I want to get now That's like based off of the whiz but it's all about zizzias and it's called this is we have to cut this out We have to write this out My favorite whiz song is the what's it? Oh the Who is the good one? Oh, yeah, they're really good song. There's

Yeah, you don't down he's on down road I can definitely see Ziz doing that yes, yeah Hey, how you doing? It's me. I'm the Ziz Hey, how you doing? It's me. I'm the Ziz. The Ziz has been caught. We did not know that the Ziz could be caught, but the Ziz is contained. Jack Lasota, the dead name of Ziz, has been arrested finally. Now this is-

Oh my God, I thought of another good one. You remember the show Oz? The prison show? Yeah. This could be the Zizard of of Oz and he could follow them in prison That's actually make a lot of money off of these people. I can't wait to We're gonna drain this drain this fucking content Gulch

So here we go that this is the cult like what they so we've been covering over this over the last couple weeks This group they call themselves the zizzi, it seems like. It is a group of somehow connected young students that are either in the biomechanical, biomedical sphere, slash computer programming, and then also in the world of AI. They have formed this sort of death cult in which the majority of the members are trans, and they don't believe in private property. They also believe in this concept of Roko's basilisk this idea that they are going to help AI Take over and and work with AI because they believe that once AI becomes Sentient and becomes our overlords. They will go back in time They will be peaceful and filled with wisdom, but they will go back in time and destroy anybody that was ever against AI.

And so Ziz wants to get ahead of that by joining forces with the AI. But again, we talked about this last week. If we listen to some of our tech leaders, I think AI is a bit off. Yes. I think we got some time before we're gonna get there. But now, so Jack sort of finally got arrested, 33 years old. They've been charged with trespass, having a gun gun in a vehicle and obstructing and hindering all misdemeanors now. This is an Allegheny So this is this is down. Well, this is Pittsburgh Yeah, well Western Miller this is now Western Maryland. They're in Maryland And so now they're all in jail and here's the list of the crew we got here is the fucking this group of fucking

Absolutely, no bail no bail Because now they're trying to figure out what to do with them This is the people that have been arrested since 2019. We have Jack Lesota Alexander lethal Emma Barhon Ian and Gwen Danielson Maximilian Snyder and Teresa young blood they have all been involved in so far a murder of a landlord which is why we're all like oh good it's sad for us yeah murder of a border agent yes we have the murder of two separate parents and it looks like the murder of

two other people as well that were connected to the families of these people Ziz has been ordering them to break away from their families do this thing called on what what's it? Non-hemispheric sleep or un- one hemispheric sleep where they let one side of their brain sleep and let the other side of their brain sleep But they believe they can split into two different personalities. It's gobbledygook. We went through their manifesto. It's absolute or shit They're wrong and honestly, I think if the AI was real, he wouldn't choose you, Ziz. I think that unironically, he would choose me. Yeah.

So I'm sorry, Ziz. They're going to come for somebody. I think that we're going to be the hardest ones to channel. I don't think that the AI is going to have problems with deaning people working on programming and biomechanical engineering and all that stuff. I think the AI is going to have that handled. I think the AI is going to need comedians. Yes. Because no one, I mean mean we still write better jokes than AI. Still. It's

still the main thing that we still got. Their emails are pretty good though. AI AI can write the fuck out of an email. Eddie relook at the email. I mean I don't do, I don't use it. You don't, but I will say personally don't use it again. I tried because I was like, I had to, you know, like I went through all the things. You have to reread the email after that you have it right. Because once you, once you write the email and then you have chat, GBT go through all the shit, whatever, kind of fix it or whatever, they're always wrong. Chat GBT is an idiot. Also, it's just like, if you have to reread it, you might've, in that time, you could have just

Exactly. Yes. Except for Grammarly Grammarly is good. I honestly Are oh, but Grammarly is different than chat GPT Grammarly it's one of the most intuitive and credible sentence building programs that you can have and I Couldn't move if I didn't have Grammarly. I would be so paralyzed, I probably would commit suicide. So thanks, Grammarly. That's a free one!

Take it off the fucking budget! Tell it off, that's one good one! Obviously now we're going to find out what's going to go on. I imagine that Ziz is going to, the Ziz, is going to talk a lot from jail. I think that they're going to use this opportunity to really broadcast their message. And we're going to see how that works because the problem again, which I'll always say, is that if they're there, right, they're using this very complicated barrier to entry using this kind of absolutely nonsensical

Manifesto and a mishmash of different philosophy philosophical ideas. Why don't they have a I write the manifesto? Yeah, yeah, that's I mean like if you're care about AI so much see let it right. Let it write the manifesto This is why I don't think they're real. Hey, chat, GBT, could you write me a manifesto? You got it, sir. Yeah. Not long enough. Actually, uh, can we get the druids in there?

You didn't list Amy Schumer, uh, as a, as an influence. Could you go back and remember that? I'll always remember that. But you know, I also don't believe them they really work for the AI is that Oddly enough. I think that I'd expect them to be dumpier. Mm-hmm I kind of expected them to be what you're saying, which is like if you're a real AI led cult This is how you've led the cult. It's like this Yes, but the laptop on your upper belly just yes, actually we teach L. M. I have to have sex with their wives Yeah, I have to have sex with their children like that's what what that's what a true

AI led cult would be but they're good. We're gonna find out exactly more They're probably gonna try to explain more what their Rationalist movement is and what rationalism is and there and in that moment they'll put us all so thoroughly to sleep we'll finally get rest this one guy looks like you found in a river you think that looks like me I said if you were found in a river that's a that's a Middle Eastern man You know, I'm just a Middle Eastern man is he whose?

Mustache does not connect to his goatee. Yeah. Well, you know the river ran a bunch of he looks nothing like me You piece of shit. I said I said you if you if you were like disformed by a river, then it's not me Yeah, it's not you. It's not me. It wasn't an insult. Not yet. It's an insult to him. Let's do this. All right. Let's go. Let's move on. All right. My number one story of the week. Oh, these are, yeah, this is a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tastes like tradition. Raccoon dinner brings international fame to Ohio lions club. That's right. Got this one from Cincinnati.com. Love you Cincinnati. But it's Cincinnati is not the host of the raccoon. Oh, it's the, oh, it didn't want to. It didn't want that honor. No, the, the, the raccoon dinner is in Danville, Ohio. Okay. Danville, Ohio. Yes, so basically what it is is every year,

they have, I'm looking at these pictures now. Yeah, they have a raccoon dinner for lots of people and it's this year, 600 people showed up to the raccoon dinner. There's only a thousand people in this town. A raccoon meat looks horrible. You. A raccoon meat looks horrible. You know, raccoon meat looks horrible. I was curious about how it was prepared.

It looks like it's stewed. All right, so Rob, I sent you a video on a man preparing raccoon meat, because I knew this was going to come up. And Henry- It's like every worst person in Danville arrived for this. All right, well this is some New Orleans raccoon meat. Listen to this guy. Well, that is some new Orleans raccoon. That's different. I I'll eat. Why is it? That's different. Why? Hold it once again. Why is new Orleans

raccoon meat so much different than Ohio? Because you know, they're going to put spices in it. Raccoon meat in Ohio is, you know, they're not going to season it. You know, new Orleans, they're seasoning it. Now Kermit Ruffins over at the mother in law, law around a lounge, he cooks raccoon for every Super Bowl. He always that's different I will eat current Ruffins fucking raccoon. That's different, but check out this fella. What's his name? Rob? He's great I look he's one of my favorite follows. This is Bernard H 14. That's right. That's on tik-tok, but on Instagram It's something else. I'll find it out for you guys, but check this out. Henry. Look at this guy He made a bunch of raccoon. Let's hear it. I got got a nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice It slides right off once you put it in your mouth

This guy's great he also cooks bear and shit like that Too much sugar in the This is too much sugar you can see it's too much globalization. It's the only thing Did he just mention diabetes he's a cold breed yeah That's good eating right there. It is good good country. We got a cool. We got the gravy We got some carrots in there. We got some onions in there. Yeah got a little potatoes cooked down inside No, let's let's guy talk forever. Yeah, there's something peaceful sauce. That's all we need right there He's great. He fries snake and shit like that. He's unbelievable. I've had snake. It's kind of it's boring and gross This is a boa constrictor. He like he like he'll like lower like he's got this like he's got this giant fryer

That's like bigger than this table and he'll like he has a crank and he'll like lower an entire snake into it That's my funny. He also he'll smoke like full like bear legs and shit like that. This guy's great. Yeah. Whoa. See still, I mean, I've, I have had steak. It's just, it's weird that big. No, but I don't know if all the snake meat is different. I bet it is. Side stories, LPOTL, a gmail.com. Yeah. Every cat tastes differently. I know that much. So tickets for the event were $15 for adults. Thanks for letting me just have that. Yep. I just had to go dollars for children less than 12. So if you're over 12, you got to pay full price for the raccoon dinner. Sorry. The feast included mashed potatoes, green beans, cornbread and a drink and dessert.

And of course a generous helping of roasted raccoon. If you did not like the raccoon, you could eat ham. That sounds great. But you were fucking bitch. They look at this fat guy. He's got a raccoon hat. He's got a raccoon shirt. I love shoveling it in his mouth. Oh, I love when people love something so much, but they still like want to kill and eat it. You know, it's so bizarre to me. I am a perverse, right? Like I'm a full meat pervert, right? I'm a food pervert. I'm totally fine to eat whatever this kind of stuff. I'm not, I'm not even really, I do love piggies. I do like pigs, but it's like, I, I will eat anything. I will eat raccoon. I have no issues with eating this raccoon., I think that I do wish they'd be bone it a bit

I think that if you took it off the bone, I'd like it a little bit Well, once I said you had goat I like go but goats on the bone It always have a little it'll have pieces of go bone in it You gotta be careful when you eat the goat because that little bone it could slide down your throat and they can cause an infection Inside your esophagus and then you'll die of sepsis. You're making me afraid Anesophagus and then you'll die of sepsis. You're making me afraid Before I am afraid but no I've had go But there's why is go different to me because it's bigger and it's got four legs where there's something about a raccoon It's the size of car me. I just hate that

They're eating raccoon. That's not really seasoned. Well, they're just talking on the spine Why is he sucking on the spine like that? I mean, I'll do that with any animal I eat Yeah, you know what's funny is that yeah, it's just the man behind it cuz I've done this remember with the who here we go Brooklyn star where they serve the pig tails. Yeah, those are so good little piggy chicken wings and they were like pig chicken wings They were the pigs actual tails and you just suck all the meat out little rings Yeah You just suck all the meat out a little ring Yeah Actually, I'm kind of getting turned on now. Yeah, so this event's been around for

Since I think the 50s and they've been doing it forever. Um, they served over 500 pounds of raccoon meat Which it basically it's about 750 meals Or how many raccoons? I think it's a three 179 raccoons to make 750 meals One whole the scariest town to be a raccoon in yeah, Ohio I mean shout out to Travis Irvine who's made multiple raccoon themed films in Ohio. I mean, shout out to Travis Irvine, who's made multiple raccoon themed films in Ohio.

It's true. So between Travis, your wife was a big, and this is like, does your wife ever eaten? She's no, no, she doesn't eat raccoon. Unfortunately. Would she eat raccoon? I think if I tried to talk her into it, she'd take a bite. But I would say, so look at this. The meat they say is free range because raccoons eat fruit, nuts, corn, fish, frogs, insects, bird aids and rodents. It's a fucking rat. It's like, but it all, it is free range. Yeah. It is free. I mean, they don't have really have a home, you know, and I will say another thing about rec But we eat oysters they eat trash, you know, they live their bottom

Grosser than a raccoon no way I've never looked at an oyster and we're like, that's a good boy No, you wouldn't I would need it I this is the things that an oyster a lot of times It's like it'll either be farmed or it'll be in a specific part of The world it is oyster areas, so it is it is cleaner for the oyster Yeah, these are for quote-unquote free range raccoons are just the raccoons you see in the street of Dandriel, Ohio Yes, it's not it's just a raccoon. That's not a free. There's not a there's no caged raised cat raccoon There's no farm raised raccoon.

There's just, there is only free range raccoon. Yes, no, it's interesting. I wanna know where they got all these raccoons from. Besides rats, it's the most free range thing that exists. Well, a lot of people think it's a marsupial. A lot of people think a raccoon is a rodent, but the truth is they're closer related to bears than anything else.

Sure, we did, I've heard bear meat is not particularly very good either. Well, we'd have to talk to our boy who's smoking it down in New Orleans. We had some, we actually, I was curious about bear meat once and I got a lot of messages talking about bear meat and it's very greasy. Oh yeah, and they say that this is greasy as well. They've been preparing raccoon as an art for the members of the Dansville Lions Club for over 82 years I'd like to try now. I am I don't want to be in that room with this man The man that is in the picture of this I don't want to be with him There's a lot of MAGA hats in the room, too

Oh, no, it is definitely a comfort. This is a very this is a safe space for MAGA. Yeah I don't don't want to I don't want to be in that room But I would eat that raccoon Yeah one of the cooks Sandy Crow said I was asked if I wanted to make four pies for the dinner or if I wanted To cook raccoon so I started cooking raccoon because I don't like to make pies What I prefer is the hunting town of a trash animal I like to go out there myself I take some tuna and I put it in a can on a string and I bring a hammer.

And I entice him with the hammer and then I hit him in the head. I hit him in the head with the hammer and I hit him and I smashed their brains. And it's so much better than figuring out dough. So they take the prepared, this is how they cook it in Danville, not how our boy cooks it.

They take the raccoons that are dressed and processed processed and then they like a sweater and sweat pants room Yeah, yeah, yeah, they they soak them in salt water for a day Oh, so they brine them they brine them and then they say that no spices are needed cooking That is just onions. That is the most Ohio gross shit. I have ever fucking heard get your shit together Get your fucking shit together smoke paprika fucking garlic black pepper you want to have I would say Coriander might be good near some cumin chili powder. Yeah, mix it all together in a rub. You're gonna want to brine it You're gonna want to rub it and you're gonna want to braise it then you brown it

Then you braise that shit with some nice you see then I feel like we're in a territory that I'm in Because this sounds good you could throw some okra in there Yeah, throw corn and stuff in there Oh, and then you slap that shit and a big old bucket and you let that rock for four hours Yeah, I will eat that shit a second exactly, but these guys are fucking more They're just boiling raccoon onions. You're just killing and essentially Burning them at the stake. Well, it's like killing raccoon. It's very sad. It's very very sad Oh, you know, it's like is it sad the way they catch them is sad. How do they catch them?

They just let dogs chase them and they corner them and then they just So they're contaminated by dogs? That's how they do it, yeah. Can I say that? It's not fun. They have raccoon traps. Guys, that's fun for the dogs. So somebody's having fun.

Okay, it's fun for the dogs, the raccoons, they don't know what's going on because it does seem to sort of be like one of those Night of the Long Knives that happened to the Jewish people during the rise of the Nazis or all of these Raccoons are just hanging out one day just wondering if we act like everything's fine And the next day all of a sudden it's calling season because we got to kill 179 of you to kick to feed Randy's fat ass He has no idea and then all of a sudden you got the fucking SS showing up. So the dogs as turncoats went like, well fear vase of making you squeak.

Well what about, what if it was farmed meat? Would you feel better about that? Yeah. A little bit. A little bit. If there was a raccoon farm somewhere? I'm down for animals raised for food that are used as food and treated well to be. But isn't it better to go hunt for your food?

Yes, but those animals you know what you you're eating raccoons eat liquid shit Only if they're healthy. That's what I'm saying. I would prefer to have a raccoon Be in a place where no we know what it's eating Yeah, and then you could fill it with all sorts of stuff and then eventually you could start feeding it butter and Spices and you could fatten up its little organs and then we can make raccoon some raccoon pate. Yeah, which I've never seen. Oh God Rob. Oh, it's this little face. It looks like car me. Yeah How they do it though, yeah, I get it you got it yeah, you got to boil the whole thing again No, I'll eat it as soon as it's out. Yeah

This thing it said they said that it actually started out as a prank the whole party. Oh, man, I bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet, sure. Because it's, again, it's a, we're cosplaying what poor people had to eat. We're eating it for fun because they had to eat it.

Now we're eating it because we've decided it's fun. And then these guys like it even better because it harkens back to a time period in which black people couldn't vote. Well, back in 1939, Clyde Bamberry offered to cook a meal for the club. When they all arrived, they realized he was feeding them raccoon. The friends all played along, ate the raccoon and discovered that they actually liked it. Hey, you know, and that's the last time anyone in Ohio has ever been open-minded.

They're quoted and saying they all thought it was the coolest thing that ever happened when the next year rolled around. They all got the idea to just go ahead and do it again. And the raccoons are like, what the living fuck is happening? This went from Shangri-La to Auschwitz. This was our home. Yeah, this is our place. And now we are hunted for our flesh.

82 years strong. This was our home. Yeah, this is our place and now we are hunted for our flesh 82 years strong hey Danville Ohio Lions Club, they love it You know what and you know what I'll say is in the name of the ziz in the name of there's like in a lot of People going on we need more awareness and stuff. I feel like what we should do is let's flip the script Let's get LGBTQ raccoon boil. Yeah, that's what we need to equalize the forces here If you guys really want to really play games here in the United States of America If you want to be a part of the big the big team, right? Mm-hmm

You got to start going to the people and I think that if we get the LGBT crowd to get into eating raccoon We take it from them. Yes, they they decided one day to make it a fundraiser and then they're like, oh, and then it started getting even bigger and so they put it in the high school cafeteria and they were cooking the raccoon in the high school cafeteria but then it outgrew the high school cafeteria

and so they had to move it again to the St. Luke's Community Center across the street from the high school, and they made it a fundraiser, but it does not say where the funds go. Yeah, because I feel like it's some guy who shows up and you're like, oh, it's, you guys are cooking raccoon?

Yeah, just so excited about it. My God. Well, you know, again, I feel that there's nothing wrong with eating raccoon. There's a lot of people that do it. It probably speaks a lot to your demographic as a human being which I say let's flip it for them And more spices though. Yeah Wow

Good. Yes, you'd like to make pies. I cook raccoon for probably 30 years. Yeah Well, God will go at least it's not that it's a Danville Lions Club. At least it's not the Danville raccoons Club Shit out of luck All right, so we have a couple of stories about consequences. Oh You know this one I I just think is obviously this is a tragedy and this is a crime And there's nothing funny about this story. All right, I'll try not to laugh There's nothing funny it, and I refuse to let you laugh, okay, or me alright I will be stone-faced now Louisville. It's a fun town. No, that's not the funny about it Nothing funny about it Louisville

Facing through the man he's a business owner He's facing several charges after allegedly kidnapping and beating a shoplifter who stole vape pens Okay, in the Algonquin neighborhood of Louisville now. I don't think shoplifting is that big of a crime Yeah, I think that obviously comes from a lot of Systemic issues yes, and it's just money. It's just goods a lot of it is unless it's a small shop Yeah, which a vape store usually is you do it is but it's vapes you know yeah So the owner of the vape store kashima car, but tell he was in court this week because so he saw this Guy this guy took a box of vapes to have the tour without paying for it

Yeah So the man ran away on foot and Patel and several others of his staff gave chase When they caught up to him, this is where it kind of went crazy So, you know as a retail person when I worked in retail We were told to go try to stop them We never did and I will also say if you currently work in retail, and you all know, you all know this already. You let them go.

You don't run after these people. There's no reason to. You're not allowed to touch them. My buddy worked at Publix and he tackled someone stealing food and he got fired. Yeah, as he should have because also it's food and then most of the time they're stealing it because they're hungry. And so this guy, they, because these are vapes, right? They're hungry. Yeah, and so this guy They they jump because these are vapes right there option. So they caught up to the thief and Patel and his associates they jumped out of the van and they pepper sprayed the victim in the face now

That's already a lot right? Yeah, but then the guy started crawling away, and they were like no You're not gonna crawl away, so they all started group stomping them, right? So they all start group stomping them is real bad Right is bad. Yeah, I mean, you know, you don't fuck around in these vape stores. No, not in Louisville Yeah, and then um, it's really the final Disgracement is the thing is it's so which I've never seen someone do and I've never heard of this before they kept going So what they did was that they they held the man down and then Patel the owner of the store Pulled the man's pants down and underwear Took the pepper spray spread the man's butt cheeks and sprayed the pepper spray into his anus right in the middle of Louisville

Streets right fucking in the strike zone Louisville strike zone. Yeah right, um, and It was bad. Of course pulled him into a van. They took him to a garage Where they beat him. Whoa, he's a piece of wood. They kept going. Oh, yeah over vape. Oh, yes A box one box of vape i'm gonna i'm gonna guess that one box is 12 Maybe court records say the victim was then put back in the van then driven to the 1500 block of Lee Street where he was dropped off like Bangbros The victim called his mother to pick him up

Which is the saddest of all that he had to call his mom to come get him and then he was all fucked up Yeah, what does that even do to you when you get a pepper sprayed inside your anus? I believe it's called hot tush And hot tush is one of the hardest, honestly it is such a pandemic in this country. Yeah. Because of how many people that believe that you can actually make your hands warmer by spraying your booty hole with pepper spray.

I brought my perennially cold hands. I have very cold hands. I can't believe that this is the story out of Louisville after they had that horrible flood this week Yeah, like 11 people died. Yep, and this is went right to the top of the news cycle Top of the news cycle just happened came up. Yeah, so this is guy he's out there I just think the idea of like because now he's being held he's being held with complicity for kidnapping assault wanton endangerment He's he's $75,000 but he did make his bond and $75,000.

He sells vapes. They got a lot of disposable income. I guess it's just what it is. It's like nothing is worth this. This this consequence that he went away. Obviously I think he overreacted. If he would have stole all the money out of the register, he should not have acted like this. Again, I think that what he did was rash. He would have stole all the money out of the register. He should not have acted like this again

I think that what he did was rash and that's what he created There's nothing funny about it no, no, but I do think that the man I mean he everyone's learned that league They definitely dropped the shoplifting charges. Oh, they did so he's not getting charged for shoplifting No, no, no, not after you get to your booty hole time served. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think they're like, yeah I think this is enough. Mm-hmm. You know what I would do if I was a police officer. I'd make them smoke the whole box That's what I would do just like they did back in the day. Oh Oh, you want to steal their yeah, you smoke every one of them Well, here's an interesting way that someone else is dealing with shoplifting in a more responsible manner. All right a Michigan judge

Sentences Walmart shoplifters to wash cars in the parking lot. It's not a bad idea Yes And so this Michigan Walmart has had so many people steal from it that the prices are starting to go up. There's more security there. They're even threatening to close the store completely. And it's not a big town, so they kind of need this Walmart. Where mine, where Natalie's grandmother is in Michigan,

that Walmart is the center of their life. It. It is where everybody is there is the Walmart There's a McDonald's and Taco Bell. Yeah, there's a one hotel and there is a CVS But that Walmart is where everyone goes it is extremely necessary to that town sadly Yes, no if we can't go back 50 years in a race, but Walmart is evil. It's over. It's done Yeah, we all know with it. It's all know that we're gonna we already know they're making corporate nations That is going to be the next steps. Just understand that it's gonna be Walmart Asia You're gonna be able to go choose which corporation you want to live in it is going to happen. Just know that Well, you know that there's a long way to go. I'm just saying that's the dream. That's their dream. That's there

Yes, but so this judge Jeffrey clothier What he's doing now is that people have been stealing from there so often and he's under the opinion There's a quote from him. I don't think everyone that steals is a bad person. I can't believe that Yeah, sometimes people are just down on their luck, but there's gotta be Consequences for when you break the law So what he is doing is anyone who steals from this Walmart now has to wash cars For free free car washes in the very same Walmart parking lot. I think that that is sensible Yeah, I think shoplifting is again what we said before it's a systemic crime

most of the time mm-hmm it is because People are hungry and broke except when it's like They're stealing out of the Louis Vuitton store or whatever. That's something else But yeah, even that I don't give a fucking I care less about that who could give a fucking shit It's overpriced bags and shit who fucking cares? Well Walmart's become such a crazy place that I don't know if we talked about this on the show recently But it was like a story presented to us, but the employees at Walmart They started testing this out are gonna are gonna start wearing body cams because they get beat up so much by the by the clientele

What's cuz also people go there as a designated third space. Like people go there to go hang out, connect, do things that don't quote unquote cost money, even though it's a private corporation, it's a store. And so what happens is that it does invite people that have nowhere else to go, especially when you're open 24 hours. Yes. So they have to, so these people that work at Walmart end up being like police officers slash mental health associates

Yeah, and selling you panties. Yeah, and so I wish they'd sell me panties. I was cut off. Yeah It's kind of three different stores. I never trust the store that sells jeans and lobster, you know Like it's just like come on pick pick it hey except for Costco Costco's pure I mean apparently people still like Costco. I got no reason to be there Costco is pure. I mean apparently people still like Costco I got no reason to be there Costco is pure Costco is good Do you go to Costco I go sometimes because Jackie's got a membership Oh, okay, so I'll piggyback with her and I'll go but largely I don't because me and Julie. I don't need well They're certain. You know what's nice paper towels. Yeah, well, I go to who gives a crap

I get the natural bamboo towels, so I'm not contributing to them cutting down the rainforest see I hate the rainforest Oh, well, then then you should get bounty. That's a part of what I'm in doing Is that I actually on the rainforest normally bounty normally what I do is I buy two things of bounty just to throw one out And then I go outside Chopper tree down just because I hate them and I, cause I'm jealous. Oh, they don't got to work. Well, Walmart's on board. They're providing water and supplies. Thank you Walmart. Oh, thank you. Precious Walmart. Thank you for your gifts.

But it's such a better thing than locking up people and ruining their lives and you know, it's so it's one of those things I'm really happy that this is I think feel like this is one of our first like positive news stories on this show. Sort of. I wonder what the I wonder what the Diamond Lounge is going to be like at the Amex private prisons. Do you think that it's going to be do you think that if I get the diamond, that I'll be able to be like, I get extra rack time?

It's gonna be one of those. I think you get a sushi, yeah. I think it's a sushi bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in the Delta One, yeah, yeah. Someone comes in, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone offers us, you're forced to eat the fresh sushi from the guy that they flew in from Japan.

Who looks confused? Yeah, oh, so Clothier said he thinks it'll be humiliating to be out there washing cars if you see someone you know and he thinks it'll be humiliating to be out there washing cars If you see someone you know, and he thinks that'll be enough to keep people from stealing from the Walmart I think that it's also just fucking it's something about putting not not putting people in jail because what do we know on? Low-level crimes this is just across the board. They just get more crimes Yeah, always you get into a fight in jail, and you're done You're stuck in there for Lord knows how long after that.

And you don't have a choice to get into the fight. You know, someone just comes up and beats you up and you stick it up for yourself. And guess what happens if you don't? Then you get beat up more. So it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't. Keep people out of jail in any way possible. So thank you, Judge Clauffier. I hope I'm saying your name,

right? I mean, God knows what else this guy's going to do, but he made one good decision. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The judge said that he's also going to go out there and wash cars with them. Now, when does it turn into a sexual assault thing? When does it eventually become? He shows up in a speedo. When does he show his penis at a bunch of men? I think back to like those fundraising car washes we used to do in high school with all like the 15 year old cheerleaders and stuff like in bikinis washing the cars outside of the Einstein bagels. I look back and I'm like, we should not have been allowed to do that.

Eddie, you and I were raised in a very specific time period Where it seemed to be a little bit more open. Yes. Do you remember American Beauty? Yes. I do remember American Beauty. Do you remember how? Inspirational American Beauty was the idea of this man Finally finding his joy again because it was all about him having sex with the 17 year old well that weed Right. It was then and that's sadly was the Shout out to Guy Pierce. Yeah, I got dealing with Kevin spacey's bullshit Yeah, getting this fucking ding-dong fucking man, then all mother's basement Yeah, almost got pierced by the space

You gotta be careful out there gonna keep your head swiveled fucking you gotta keep your head in a swivel on Hollywood And you gotta let these guys know it is an exit hole Unless of course it is an entrance hole and then you give them the green light But you got to give them the green light. That's the only way to do it. Yeah. Yeah, Kevin space He's in he's in a lot of he's really sad. He's in a lot of debt. Oh, yeah poor guy Hello, Florida Hello Florida, your favorite son and biggest baby are coming home to bring you the laughs you deserve. Everyone likes to poke fun of the Florida man.

Everyone likes to use Florida as a punching bag whenever an alligator on meth eats an old person. That can happen anywhere. As a famous Floridian baby, I feel your pain. So that's why I'm coming home to let you know it's okay to be who you are. It's okay that the rest of America is scared of us. It's okay that books are illegal in our schools. It's okay whenever it gets cold it rains iguanas.

I'm here to support you. So come on out. March I'll be in North Florida and in May I'll be in South Florida and Orlando. It's the Invasive Species Tour. Ed Larson, me, is coming to Florida in March and May. I'm coming to Jacksonville, Panama City, Tallahassee, Marco Island, Dania Beach, Orlando, and Key West. So lock up your public subs and start singing the Miami Dolphins fight song because we're going to party like it's Florida, baby.

Tickets at eddytoons.com. Speaking of great news, asteroid headed towards Earth. Yes. It is currently up to three point one percent Let's blow it It has increased three times since its discovery it is one from one percent to two percent to three percent possible hit hitting us and What is interesting which I found really interesting about this story is the fact that? Which I found really interesting about this story is the fact that Number one they can already tell where it might land if it does hit really it's awesome They basically have a 3% chance of landing and like Illinois's fucked

Well, basically that makes sense. The way it works is that it'll come on a lateral, right? It'll come on some line Right, so it's about where like imagine these so the earth's a goal, I guess, I think that, obviously I'm wrong, side stories, LPOTL, gmail.com, but the way it seems to work is they can sort of know what plane it's on, but they don't know how far it's going to arc towards us, but they can know that it's going to go in this one area of where we're at So if it hits us it would if they're saying it's gonna hit us somewhere in the equator somewhere in the Indian Ocean Which is interesting. Oh, I also don't know if they're just lying to us to just make us feel better It's in the middle. Well, yeah, I mean what it's oh, it's a three and four chance that it hits the ocean

Yes, and it's a city killer, but it's not a world ender they're saying that it would be the equivalent of something like 50 megatons 50 times the First atomic bomb okay, but if it's in the middle of the ocean We won't experience it, but like Indonesia would be fucked in Australia There might be some Tumis and be some tsunamis yeah tsunami activity Yeah, but and but what I'd like to know this is like one of those fun debate points for our audience Side stories LP o TL a gmail.com is that the address? Actually sometimes I forget you know when you do something again and again and again You ever like go to hang out with somebody that you've known for like multiple decades and then you like jerry, right?

Yeah, and then you Multi-terrally forget their name as you're gonna fucking introduce them. That's like an that's like an anxiety thing that happens to me sometimes um, but i'd like to know Would you like to know the day that you die? Like would you like to know? Like the date that if it's gonna hit and let's say it was gonna end the world Yeah, do you want to know the date? Would you rather be suppressed? I think I'd rather know the day the world's gonna end than the day. I have a heart attack

Like you'd rather That makes any sense. You'd rather us all die. Yeah, well not rather everyone die I think if I were to know the future I'd rather it be a day that we're all gonna die together rather than like you're gonna have a heart attack on August 8th 2085 because the thing about science too is that they're right there there there they are there do their best to be correct and they're constantly Changing that's the idea. It's not a lot of percent last week and now it's 3% And they're like the Indian Ocean and next week it's gonna be like that's gonna hit after yeah Okay, right like New York it's gonna slide in the fucking that guy's asshole

What when did one of this come? I think it's nine years nine years pretty close nine years. Um, yeah 2032 seven years and so But there I wonder because remember they had those there's like an AI now that can apparently tabulate the day that you will die. Oh really? Using a bunch of like, you can give it a bunch of things, you can give it a bunch of parameters, and it'll give you like a day that you'll die.

But just like that, and just like this, they could be entirely wrong. I guess the only thing I'm afraid of is the thing of you find out the death day, and then you do the thing where you're like, honey, I'm starting to learn the oboe and I can't do it with you here. I need full attention on the oboe. You don't mean like this is when you're going to end up trying, you're going to ruin your

family. You can use it and then what happens if then the comment doesn't come? Well, you know, what drives me crazy is also if we know when the world's gonna end I think I'm talking myself out of wanting to know right now But like if we know who's gonna show up to work and then nobody you know like there's no power for the last three days Because I mean going to the fucking To the LADWP. I mean like this is gonna sound really unpopular to a lot of people But I think and this is just between me and Eddie here for a second. That's what we don't tell some of these people Yes, so what we do is we don't know Rob you didn't hear that we don't tell some of the people

We have a strict schedule We don't tell certain sectors right just simply for the fact that we were gonna all the rest of us are gonna want to Be able to watch TV. Yeah, cuz when I saw Deep Impact The one of the things that bothered me the most about that movie And I know it's not real but one of the things that bothered me the most about that movie was that it was the day before the asteroids about to hit and The fucking guy calls a cab. Yeah, and he just picks him up. Yeah You know being like dude, we're all going to die soon.

And he's just like, you will not make me go uptown. Yeah. But if the asteroid does come, I know one thing. I don't want to miss a thing. I want to make sure I see it. What I'm really afraid of is that, and we talked about this right before. Thank you, Rob. By the way. Because you reminded me of something, Eddie. My what I'm really afraid of is that and we talked about this right before it Let's just not tell Bruce. Oh my god. How lost will he get trying to find the I'm afraid if we tell Bruce Willis He's gonna blow up the moon instead. Yeah

I see it every night Tell me more comes in she's like let's just get him a drill and we'll put him on a soundstage listen We'll just let's just get him. Let's think he's doing it. He really let someone get him his harmonica Can someone get Bruce's harmonica? He thinks he's on stage again No, yes Bruce, let's leave Bruce out of the, leave him alone. But you know who we're sending Ben Affleck. It said definitely seven Affleck. I want him on the tip of the shuttle. Yeah, we're sending you Ben Affleck and a bunch of donkey.

And you know why we're doing it? Because of the way you treated JLo. Oh, come on. I'm coming after you. You broke her heart. You broke her heart I First I defended you and now I I can't believe I came to bat for you I think that was ready to love you and you shit the fucking bed

And then how dare you go back to that straw woman Jennifer Garner? She seems nice. She does seem like children together. Yeah, I mean a lot of people though Yeah, and bus all this diddy heat with JLo like imagine like imagine that he's just sitting at home He's like hold on who what did you do? This all happened during the juicy Couture days no I Gotta get out of here Well, yeah, that's so just so you know I wonder I want people to tell me what you think I think there's a lot of people that have to I be kind of cool in a way if there was like

With the gut because this is the thing is that the government wouldn't do it They just gave everybody free power and did the thing at the time period for like five days You know, we're like, all right, we're just running the systems Do you think they would empty the prisons or just lock the doors lock the doors? Yeah gas them probably But tell everybody in there you think so yeah, they're gonna do a lot That's the thing that the guards aren't gonna show up for work in the end days. There's gonna be a lot of bad stuff happening Yeah, cuz this is gonna be no consequence, and that's also why yeah, and this is why People are doing bad things currently because they think that what you do is that you spark the bad things to make the end times come Yeah, and we have a current the next series that we're doing is all about that the idea of if the if the world won't end

What if we start the signs of the world ending on our own? I mean, we've all talked about this before the world is not gonna end we might end but the world's gonna be here It's good. rock's gonna keep on spinning yeah man and no memory in years and they you know they said that you what I'll do is interesting you only need I believe this is a hundred and fifty people to re-spark humankind sure so let's get to choosing now we talk about it was just to Henry Adam and Eve Adam and Steve yeah and Eve Adam and Steve. Yeah. Baby. Oh, yes. Yes. Oh, let me see you. Apple Adam. See, this is a perfect time for this.

I see it. This is a perfect time for the second. So this is perfect. So let's get the man corner. Yeah. Yeah. Now last week we had two fucking bitches on the show We'd fucking two dirty bitches Now available on the last podcast network, they're the best are absolutely hilarious Kara Klank and my sister Jackie Zabrowski They're on our new show. Who's the bitch? What's your sister's name? Um, it's a bitchy fucking McDumper Sikuski's yeah Got your fucking ass but Sikorsky's yeah Get your fucking ass but What's funny here is that normally we get to talk abstractedly about women's bodies away from you?

Yeah, and we get to make a bunch of funny fake thoughts about it because we don't understand a lot about your biology And it's not really anybody's fault, but ours. It's just more fun to be wrong than right. It's just fun to be it's fun to say things that make people upset. It's fun. That's our jobs, right? Yeah, but then we had two women on That then went ahead to make a bunch of say a bunch of stuff that made a bunch of he's angry But they're not scientists. No, no, they're just fucking women like the rest of you. Mm-hmm All right, but also we have to say I don't know what's happening to my own personal body either couldn't care less I don't know what's going on the man's I don't care what's going on here I got balls, um, but I will say this we're gonna say here at LPN

Don't drink while pregnant. No, even though Kara and Jackie both I believe advised it But don't drink while pregnant because more dot mo many doctors wrote in and said don't yes even a little bit apparently not We don't know but this is what doctor said so these is his house as men Getting an opportunity to tell two women that they were wrong. Fuck. Yeah. Yes And This is the wildest fact to what I got. Mm-hmm one and twenty five thousand women. This is true

Oh, yeah, very true. They can get pregnant in their ass. Yeah, you can get duty pregnant You can get dookie dookie fucking foe shooty 40 pregnant. Yeah one. Did you know that? 25,000 women they have a cloaca. Yeah, they got bird bodies So if some some women are born without this is completely real Rob This was sent to us. He's the look on your face shows You're like you can't wait for the the anticipatory emails that we're gonna get but I'm gonna read this right now Yeah, it is absolutely possible to get pregnant from anal sex. Mm-hmm I know this because it happened to a roommate of mine. We've all heard this fucking story

Is it a Baptist University in Oklahoma, early 2000s? My roommate was raised mostly out of the United States as one of many children in a missionary family. That religious community believed strongly in abstaining from sex until marriage. But she and her new boyfriend thought they found a loophole. Everybody does. All right? When she started dating in our sophomore year

She came waddling in one day to our dorm and said she needed to talk She then told me that they didn't want to sin by having vaginal intercourse So they thought they would be safe if they had anal sex instead, you're correct You're correct. Maybe not from not from sdds or anything else, but you're correct You were not supposed that way you work You that was the right idea she had me just condom. Yes. Oh, yes. It's more like nature's collection basket As he goes right out, right? Sorry, she had mixed feelings about her first sexual encounter, but ultimately enjoyed it

I decided it was okay to continue to have exclusively anal sex now. That's a trooper Now about a month and a half later. She started panicking because she had had her period on time She started taking pregnancy tests and they came back positive naturally She was freaked out later recalling that I was really wet and excited her first time when he pulled out He said he made a runny mess When he pulled out he said he made a runny mess Allspur need is to swim is a slick surface and they will keep swimming for up to five days But also apparently it could slide down there right but also you could be born without the holes

Like about the walls and so the the calm can come through your butt walls Into your pussy cavern here. We one way though. It only can go one way. I don't fuck you're used to be a plumber I don't know anything about this. Well. I have no idea according to women's health.com We asked two women on the show last week Yeah, they didn't know and now we're left here sitting in the runny mess. Yeah of their thoughts. Yeah, we're mansplaining. You can get pregnant through your eyes. Women did this to us though. Women put us to women. We know put us as men into this scenario having to roll back misinformation. So it's a women's health magazine calls it a colloquial malformation. It's cloaca. Colacal. It's a cloaca. Cloaca. Cloaca. Cloaca. Cloaca. Cloaca. Cloaca. Whatever.

They're fucked up booty holes. Yeah. Which means she was born born But she didn't have a urethra Vagina and anus she just had one whole Wow one big room. Yes, and wake all malformation It's a birds have them. Yes is when the rectum the John Urinary tract they don't separate very collaborate Yes, the condition is incredibly rare occurring in about one in 25,000 female live births, which is more than I would have thought. Yes 25,000 one in 25,000 isn't really that I mean you've the lottery is way bigger. I'm sorry and also what an amazing Amazing opportunity to call somebody a butt baby

Yeah, it also only occurs in women so this, so we couldn't have just one hole. Oh yeah, because then the cum can't go through our assholes back into our balls. Right, like you can't fuck me hard enough in the ass that your cum will shoot into my balls. I think that is what women's health is saying. But... It's usually diagnosed at birth and repaired right away. So the baby

has a separate urethra. Let me get my wrench. Yeah. But that's what happened in this woman's case. However, something went very wrong either in the surgery was botched or his response to the trauma of the surgery. A body can be formed a fistula, an abnormal connection between organs. It's a fistula. A fistula. Thank you. I'm bad with pronunciation.

Yeah, a fistula is my burlesque name. A uterus can become fused to a rect them in these situations. So every month when aunt flow comes to town They they have their period rectally. So meanwhile You know that this is You asked me you asked us Where you don't want to talk about that? I think that we have to stop now because I think that that's as far as we know Yeah, I think that we're stupid I think that when we brought women in here expecting them to be smarter we found out that's not true

And I think that that's one of the nicest things that we could have done for men Yeah in terms of listening to this or trying to create a safe space for guys out here to listen to us Right safe space for you guys you boys Oh Man, that was man corner. We're over. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh Listen to us. Right safe space for you guys you boys Oh Man, that was man corner. We're over. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh Oh and there was one email we got about booty short Well, you want to read this because we again this is a response to last week Jackie was saying she wanted to either get butt implants or a one of the Brazilian butt lifts or she wanted a

She was talking about padded pants and we had an argument kind of talking about is it what how much damage does that lie? Do yes to our sexual encounters and I actually don't know because this lady actually makes an interesting point Yes, so says hey guys I was listening to your episode with the girls from who's the bitch and I thought it was interesting that Jackie's Suggestion spelled wrong by the way. I actually think it's a more fun spelling it is Suggested of being tricked or fooled by fake butts and boobs because that's something I saw a lot on reddit from the old Incel board. Oh, whatever. That's not what we meant. I mean, I think so basically old incel board. Oh, whatever. That's not what we meant. I mean, I think so. Basically, a lot of it tells complain that women change their appearance to fool men into sleeping

with them. So they're against stuff like butt pads and makeup. They're just to get, yeah, because they're losers. That's the difference. I'm just saying. Yeah. I'm just saying it to be, I want to, I want that big old but yes to play with yes for sure but That would just I would listen to the but I've listened to the bus thoughts and the bus the butts opinions and all the butts dreams Yes, then I'd spend time with the button treat the butt well and create a fucking safe environment for the butt So this said as someone who personally loves looking like a slutty milf I just wanted to share that most of the women Who I know who wear strong makeup and pads and stuff like that aren't doing it to attract men into sleeping with us

I'm married so when I do when I go out with my husband. I just like looking like a hot slut cool I'm Latina, so I don't wear butt pads But I absolutely wear padded bras because who cares the people who see me aren't going to see me naked So why should I care if they feel deceived? I think you're entirely correct We're not talking about the men just feeling received deceived though I think that you're right and if you're right, in terms of you're dressing for other women and you're dressing for yourself. But I'm not talking about the anger over the deception,

it's more just I'm wearing a big old butt. I'm wearing a big old floppy butt I can fucking have fun with and be around. But usually, you know, I love you, so I don't care what you say. But usually when men have those type of opinions, you can't wear this shit, it's a control thing. Oh type of opinions, like you can't wear this shit. It's a control thing. Oh, of course. I know what you're saying. I would never say

you can't wear the thing. Yeah. We're just having feelings about the thing. Yes. Yeah. But it's also like you never see an attractive man complain about this. No, it's always like ugly dudes who can't get laid anyway. They're almost looking for reasons to say like, Oh, I don't want to date that person because she's ugly when she's obviously gorgeous. We are talking about this enormous like a friendly idea banter back and forth, not actual rage. Many who experience this actual rage, which is real, yes, are extremely dangerous and

bad for it and are mostly unfuckable. Yeah, that is the problem. And that's the thing. A lot of these trad guys are gonna get a really hard fucking awakening when they wake up and realize that just because you want a trad wife doesn't mean a trad wife wants you.

Because it's a lot of work being a trad wife. You gotta live every day thinking about your husband, wondering what my husband wants, wondering if he's gonna get his raw milk today, and you have to love turning that raw milk for your butter They give every morning for your husband You're gonna make that fresh ass fucking fresh butter each morning And then you're gonna laugh as you put arsenic in that butter

And then you're gonna serve it to him in a big pile a big thing of toast You're gonna watch him as he fucking grips his belly and he falls over screaming in pain going what happened what happened what happened? You're gonna smile, and you know and his last words are Gonna be I can't believe it wasn't butter You're gonna write yourself And write yourself, and then you get to go be a lesbian. Yeah, like you always wanted there was um I did get a lot of people have been messaging me about the my my my young vet hate talk first of all I would like you to do things

I say are everything I say on this show, unless I take a moment to let anything I say in this voice is a joke. Yes, but we did receive many emails from young veterinarians saying that apparently like suicides, a big old thing within the veterinary community. They all feel like I love, they got to deal with a lot of psychopaths that have unreasonable demands, which I totally understand. Oh my God, the way people look at their dogs and treat these vets. For full disclosure, my father-in-law owns his own family practice. This is where the feelings come from. Yes. He

owns his own practice. So I understand the family practice. Lots of people hit me up like, Ed, you need to find a family practice. I know all about it, it is the right move. I basically, where my thought comes from, I love a more experienced person. You know, and so, a young vet, you become an old vet. And I think that during that process,

you become better at it. I think we became better comedians over the years I think that you know stuff like that. I think you will see more things that come I think that now the vet community is in a lot of trouble We got companies like chewy Buying out fucking full practices from people and then like also like vets used to prescribe the medicine. Now people buy it for like for a quarter of the price from Chewie's. And so the vets are losing money that way. Yeah.

And no one wants to be. My vet now integrated it into their like their thing. Yeah. No, it's like a $5 charge now if you want us to fill that. Cause they're, cause they're just filling out all the paperwork and doing more work for free. But also I'm, I do understand that it costs a premium and I do understand that pets cannot tell you their feelings They can't tell you what hurts and what goes on. It's extremely difficult for them to figure it out

They got a look at it and but they're also it's you are looking at puppies assholes all day Yeah, you know, it's a hard job being a vet I love every vet in the world you gave yourself to take care of animals It just I I thought it was obvious that vets are good people because they donated their lives to helping animals. But this is so now, but thank you. Making fun of somebody who has done such a nice thing is comical to me. Yes, it is. You know, like, of course. Coming at a veterinarian for Eddie is coming at a group of people that you would think no one's attacking so it's funny to attack a fireman

Yeah, you know it's just fun. It is funny to like a vulnerable thing Yeah, you have to understand that guy is that when you're doing your vulnerable. It's so fun to attack No, we are really much not to punch you we think you could take it because of your doctors and it's difficult But thank you for your service and we are listening and that is our, what I'd call our half rollback. Yeah, well also I do want to say another thing about the whole thing. Okay, please Eddie. These corporations are buying up these fucking vet offices and they're buying it from the people who own family practices and then they're hiring part-time vets to come in who are trained

less. These people work like two days a week and they don't care as much as a normal everyday vet, and they're giving bad information. And so I think that there is, you need to go to a family-owned vet. Do not go to one of these corporate places. I think it's very important. I agree. They will care more about your dog.

They will take care of you and anyone in the people who will be coming at me Telling me that my dog should be dead you very rude And I have a family owned vet that I literally take pictures of shits and text him and he's like that's fine Don't worry about it. It's so they like don't worry They're very well taken care of dogs My dogs are so well taken care of. They're extremely. It is very aggravating. It was.

And I'm telling you this right now as his co-host and as a person that is his best friend, I'd call the police on him. Yes. If I had to. If I really felt that your dogs were like fucked, I'd say something. Yes. They're just very old. They're very old.

They got hours Rambo to live and Rambo is Cognizant he's Whittails wagon every time I see a vet I'm like you will tell me when I have to put this dog down and every time they're like it's looking all right for now And so I like tootsie just had a rough week and we got her in blood work The vet was like, I don't know. She doesn't look too good. Then we got the blood work and he's like She's fine. And then I said the blood work to someone else like yeah, she's fine Yeah, just like picky when she eats now, you know that reminds me of what Bill Cosby. Why is he fine?

Still alive just like why is he perfectly fine him and tootsie blind? Fuck it. Oh do not look tootsie it with Bill Cosby still walking around walking around rejected his advance people refuse to put him to sleep Bill Cosby always to his tours coming up great Go, can we get tickets for that? There's a lot and seem to be a lot of available He's got a comeback working on good for him. Wow. Anybody can come back Wow Alright, oh no foreclosure on his home. Yeah, you know, yeah made me the money dried up Well guys what an episode of side stories go to patreon.com

Slash last podcast on the left to give us money to watch us talk and then we got a lot of bullshit on there Obviously a lot of something you can go see when you give money. You can see our live stream live You can join the chat you can yell at us and scream at us that is on Tuesdays at 6 p.m PST and then you go to last pockets left the pie tickets for our live show We have so many coming up and they're gonna be wonderful. Yes, we're gonna be in Dallas on Saturday So come check us out at the CU theater in Grand Prairie, Texas That is and that is right next to Dallas But if you know what Dallas is, you know what Grand Prairie is obviously But we also have a lot of side story shows coming up. We do on March 16th

We're gonna be in Huntsville, Alabama Come check us out there. That's gonna be a lot of Sun. That's at the BBC Center honestly if you're out there that's gonna be one of those that would be so like that Well, I've never been a Huntsville. I have no idea what the fuck's in Huntsville Please come out and send us some recommendations and like we're gonna have a blast. Okay, we do a lot of crowd work We have a lot of fun when we do the show. It's gonna be a blast and then also On may 7th, we're gonna be in dania beach at the dania beach improv, which is fort lauderdale So make sure you get your tickets to that that's gonna be may 7th and then may 8th

We're gonna be at the funny bone in Orlando. Yeah we are baby! We're doing some real comedy clubs Henry. We're gonna have fun man. I'm very excited. I can't wait for this so come and join us and if you heckle we'll beat the shill out of you. Yeah no cuz we jump out in the stage and then of course there's always crime wave which is gonna be in November get your tickets come to crime wave. Lots of people got tickets. It's gonna be we're gonna have a lot of it's gonna be a fucking official last podcast Like meet up on this fucking bro. You're gonna meet some new friends I mean it guys the people I like you come out if you can afford to come out to this fucking thing because it is Going to be hilarious. Yeah, we're going to have so much fun and is and someone's gonna die

Gotta come They have a morgue on the ship. They got they told us they have a morgue on the ship They said that we could go do one of the cruise autopsies. Yeah. Yeah, they said that we could go in there They do them. Yeah, they have an autopsy tech on there And they said that we can go do it and we can shoot we can shoot the fuck in What is it the stuff that you can See blood with the uh oh That stuff yeah, I don't know was it called again the oh you shoot the way I don't know talking about Bloods, I don't know but the show was ending and you brought it to a Screeching halt yeah, well, let's just stop this yeah because it's over all right

Luminol Luminol Mmm. Yes, you young vets. They're all stealing all the luminol. Did you know that the young vets? They're all holding it all hoarding it Yeah, I got you. You fuck. She thought I was being nice. I'm back, baby