Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: That's A Moray

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: an unruly passenger is duct taped to an airline seat, micro drones, the Havana Syndrome, an eel helps a man with his constipation, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left. Side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Back in the habit, Mamma Mia, here we go again. It's good to be in front of the microphone. You know, it's also really good. It's good to be back eating tacos in a public space. I was sitting at a table, eating some tacos, and yeah, maybe they were a bit saucy. What do you mean? Like, not sexual. I wasn't hard. I might have been hard. You could have been. Who knows? But they weren't, like, dressed like that. You know what I mean? Okay. But it was covered in a sauce, a thick sauce.

I had a mole one. I had a cognichita pibil. You are so fluent in Spanish. So tasty. And yeah, I think I might have had, like, a pile of napkins in front of me. You know what I mean? Whatever. What happened? Old man comes up to me while I'm sitting and eating, and he comes over and he touches my shoulder and he goes, you really enjoy your food. I was like, what? And he's just like, you really like your food, huh? That's good. And then he walked inside and I was just like, why? This is a fat-shaming body. No, you do get... Do you say that look like a hogman?

You do get a specific glean in your eye. You seem to be very happy when you're surrounded by food. So perhaps you saw that. Yeah. No, I wasn't making any noises. I wasn't going, like, and what about Bob? That's what I'm saying. It's more of an overall physical transformation. When you see yourself around food, when I see yourself around food, when I see you around food, you are a different man. It's much like, oh, I hope Daddy doesn't come home after the bar. I hope he went straight home from work today.

But in your case, it's kind of nice because when Daddy comes home after the restaurant, he's happy. I'm all happy and I'm actually, I'm really fine. But I don't, you know, it's just one of those, I see how people get, like, weirded out about other people watching them eat. Sure. Like, I started to think about, like, what was I doing this whole time? You can get a lot of money. You can get a lot of money. Mukbang. Oh my, welcome to Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben, hanging out with Henry.

Yeah, you're... Mukbang is what you've got to do. I don't fully understand it, but I have been captivated, not even sexually. No. I think most men do it as well. You know what I'm really into? I like people eat a lot of food in one go. I think it's fun. I like big, jelly-ed objects. What do you mean? You ever see them eat a big jelly worm? Like a huge one.

But it's supposed to look like cock. No, it's definitely not a cock. It is, it's a sugary worm. But they still have to wrap their lips around it like it's a cock. Yeah. That's the thing. It's kind of funny. That is, you think it's funny, which is good. I'm actually happy that you like, think it's funny and then it's like a funny thing. I could do that.

It's content like it's humor content. Yeah, sure. But if you did it, there would be senators somewhere jerking off watching you do that. I don't even think there would be senators. I think there'd be a lot of like, are beautiful listeners. Well, no. That would be touching themselves, watching you throw a giant jelly worm. I've actually accidentally given you a segue to a story that we are going to talk about for 45 seconds. I am really upset.

It is about Chris Chan and I don't, I am mad at you for bringing this to my attention. You are mad. You are mad at me. I'm mad at our beautiful audience for sending me this. 45 seconds begins now. Chris Chan, what are your thoughts on her? Two days ago, I lived in a world where I did not have to know about Chris Chan, right? Two days ago, 48 beautiful hours ago, I did not have to think about Forge. I did not have to think about Chris Chan. I didn't have to think about the repercussions. No.

I didn't have to think about her face. I didn't have to think about her actions. No. Now I know too much about it. Chris Chan, when it comes down to it, you guys, you know what? You're looking up your fucking selves if you don't know what I'm talking about. Chris Chan is a YouTuber. Get to the point. Committed incest against her own mother.

You should know Chris Chan's trans. Chris Chan made rape on her. She raped her mother. And then she made a conversation. Then she talked about it and she said that she hit her mother. She said a term that will, I listened to the nine minutes. So this is how it came out, right? There was a nine minute release phone call.

There was a nine minute release phone call that Chris Chan went into the details of what she did to her own mother. And there was a sentence that she said that is peeing around my fucking head, which is, I hit her G spot for the first time. It was wonderful. She made like a horse. And there were pictures of her mother and she's just, she's just a mom. She didn't look like she. Is she just a mom?

Is she not? I would actually, I would even say do yourself the favor, but why? I mean, it's not a favor. I started watching the 20 hour documentary about Chris Chan, which is on YouTube right now. I started watching it and it's a sad story. It's a sad story all around. Chris Chan might have had enablers that led her to this or so. I don't fucking know.

It's a massive mess. Everybody is a victim and a perpetrator. It's one of the worst stories I've ever heard. And it can only be made for you so perfectly by the internet. All right. There you go. That's the coverage of Chris Chan. Thanks to everyone.

As far as we're going. We brought that interesting. I'm going to go with the word interesting case to our attention. Also, there was a situation involving some other douchebag. He has the guy with the pink beard and the blue hair. Also, just like you just, she is a pedophile. Just be very careful. I actually read these stories from the perspective of the parents sometimes too.

We're just like, what you watching? And you don't know that you're watching your child actively be preyed upon via a YouTube channel. But that's exactly what that dude did. And I feel like there was a, there was a period of time that I think is still going where they like how we were vaguely raised by television. Like I was plopped in front of a television for a small period of time. At least there were.

And I hate standards and practices. Jackson balances HR. But you know what? In some ways, maybe they did help just a little bit. I mean, I don't know. I know that there are communities that are important for people to be involved on on the internet. When you're young, you don't really know.

Like I don't think that you actually have the cognizant ability. I don't think the ability decided to choose to be a member of a quote unquote YouTube community. I think that you're put in front of it, which is now we'll see. There's now more and more data showing that screens are really bad for kids like under the age of seven. Like it's bad for their brains. It's bad for their like the way their eyes receive information.

It's bad for the way they think. Here at the Last Podcast Network, our family has welcomed some children. We're welcoming more. Sina Ghaznavi. Hero. Hero Ghaznavi. But that was one thing I was speaking with him about because apparently that's part of prenatal care now.

They talk about it like keep the kids away from the screens. Yes. And that was what was so disheartening sometimes on the on the trains. You see the kids addicted to the addicted to the little screens. They look around and look at all the art made of human feces. I mean, is that nice for a child's development? But do you see how parasocial relationships? They do happen with adults, right?

Like they come and they choose to be a part of either a fan community or not. They develop this parasocial relationship. But at least at some point the that was like consensual in a choice that you chose to be a fan. You might go it might go past to the point where you really do think that your friends with people you don't know because of this parasocial relationship. But it's kind of on you. Hopefully you don't bind that that person that you love in a bunch of rope and put a

gun to the right. Hopefully you don't do that. Are you telling me I'm not friends with Hugh Downs from 2020 because I've had Hugh Downs in my brain ever since I was 11 years old and I love Hugh Downs. And yes, I thought he was Lou Dobbs. You know what? They're different. Isn't that interesting?

But kids can't choose. So kids don't know when they see this pink haired blue beard pedophile talking about the things that they like at them as if they're some long lost older brother. They don't know. And then because, you know, anybody who's interested in the things that an eight year old is interested in. And they're not eight. They are not eight.

Or even eleven. I wouldn't give an eleven year old, you know, because sometimes an eight year old, they can be into Pokemon. Eleven year olds like, I'm into Pokemon. Let's go Pokey Go. Let's go find some goddamn little creatures. When I was eight years old, I was into World War II information. I was interested in Hitler's Time in the Bunker.

I was really interested in the Paranormal. I was. I used to say, I remember when I first got the Children's Book to Satanism, because it was back in the day. It was like the Satanic Panic was like going hard in like the early 90s. And there were these books. Was it written by the dark side of Bill O'Reilly? Is just Bill O'Reilly.

But they did a Satanist for kids. They would take these books where I think they were for parents to sit with their kids, to explain to them how to avoid the signs of Satanism, how to be careful of the signs of Satanism, what they do. So they just told their kids. Just loves it. Yeah, because they just told their kids all about Satanism, like the dare program told all of us about drugs.

And then you're just like, oh, that's what weed smells like. Just so I know. I don't buy the bunk shit when I'm 14 years old. Can I actually put this out there to the dare people? If you're out there, I actually just ran out of drugs for my suitcase. Could you send me another one? Do we have any reps from dare that listen? I don't think so.

I need another one of those suitcases. I have no idea the last little footage of someone doing a dare presentation. There's a YouTube video and the dude shot himself, and I thought that was quite funny. Whoa, like Jeremy. Oh, yeah. Oh, what a Pearl Jam's finest song about suicide in front of your old class. Christian also, the footage also just reminds me of it, just like Jeremy, but made into a 20-hour story and then somebody's whole fucking life.

Okay. Well, just be careful who you listen to and just, you know, if the red flags go up, say, oh, that's up for a reason, mail's in, oh, what's the letter say, that person's a pedophile trying to have sex with my children. Okay. Well, speaking of children, you know, we've been talking about this a little bit lately with the duct taping to the seat of passengers on airplanes who are wild and out. And I, once again, stand by the fine folks of Frontier Airlines and whoever else is a

steward or stewardess on any of these flights where someone freaks out, I want more duct tape because there's something just redneck enough about it for me to feel good. Oh, yeah. We are just about to, because technical flight attendants are trained to restrain people. Like, they are allowed to restrain people. Yes. They do believe it's a matter of security of the flight. Absolutely.

And which is why this trip, when we're going, because we're about to go to St. Paul, we're about to go do a bunch of lies. I'm sleeping. I'm bringing duct tape. I'm bringing duct tape. Okay, but you can't be the instigator. You can't just start duct taping everybody and be like, I'm just preliminary duct taping everyone because now you're the person acting insane.

And now you, ironically, need to be duct tape. Henry Zabrowski air cop. That's what I'm doing this week, man. I don't give a fuck. No one is getting, no one is delaying us getting to these shows. I can see that. No one of these fucking assholes are going to stand up and ruin one of our flights so that we can't do a live show.

Fuck these people. They're all morons. I can see you walking down the aisle and someone underneath their mask just whispers, what's up air pig? What'd you call me? What'd you call me? Anyway, well this story, it was a 20, it was a 22 year old dude. He has been bonded out.

He was in jail. He said he was dehumanized and treated like lifestyle. My parents are worth two million dollars. Yes. So his name was Maxwell Berry and he was duct taped to his seat 28D to restrain him. That's according to a police report. The flight was from Philly to Miami, which really should be nothing but good times. Coming out of the city of brotherly love, going into the city of elderly love.

So the man starts freaking out. He spills his alcoholic drink all over his shirt. He came out of the bathroom shirtless like he was going to Cabo Wabo, a flight. You got to get to Cabo Wabo first. Absolutely. And again, if this was Sammy Hagar Airlines take their shirts off, the dicks are out, the titties are out. They don't allow shirts or whole shoes on Sammy Hagar Airlines.

Nor should they, but until you're on that airline act accordingly. So a flight attendant was like, can you put your shirt back on? Also, you know how small those damn bathrooms are in a plane? Well, he was skinny. He was kind of skinny. He's a dude bro. He's just an agro dude bro. Yeah, but he doesn't even lift bro.

I don't even look at him. He doesn't look like he's taking any pre-workout. He's not protein loading. He's not doing anything. No, I actually disagree with you. He doesn't lift, but he does do creatine. Oh yeah. That's what I've been doing. If you notice that I'm just getting softer yet more cut.

Yes. So he started to walk around the plane for about 15 minutes and then he began to get friendly with the second flight attendant. Okay. By friendly, the arrest report says he proceeded to grope her breasts. The flight attendant told him. That's not friendly. That's the opposite of friendly.

He said, sit the fuck down bro. What are you doing? After a male flight attendant asked him several times to calm down. That's when he started freaking out and telling everyone who his parents are. And evidently there were $2 million. Wow. Wow. Isn't that great.

That's a move. Yeah. I guess Philly that is very, very big money, but honestly it is a lot of money. But it's not enough to scream that at somebody as they're duct taping you to a plane seat. If his parents were there. And they said, I'm worth $2 million. I don't deserve this treatment. I'd say, no, you still get duct taped to the seat, but okay.

Congratulations on your success. This is their son. He doesn't have that money. He doesn't even get that money. No. He's 22. Yeah. All that money is gonna be gone.

It's gone. That money's gone. It's definitely not. It's gonna be either wrapped up because he doesn't understand. That's probably not even 2 million liquid. No, I'm sure. That's 2 million. Like that's probably the house is probably worth like a million.

Right. That's done. That's already you can't sell. You can sell that house, but I don't know if you're gonna make that money back. You know, not in this market, not in the market that we're living in today. So this guy, there were some people who had some sympathy for him because the duct tape restraint was a little bit extreme, but at the same time, it's not that extreme warranted. Fuck it, man.

You're on a veer. You're in a tube in the sky. Don't get me going. You're in a tube in the sky. We're trying to get places. Okay. America runs on not dunking on bullets. All right.

And pure. And duct tape. Pure duct tape. Absolutely. We have to keep going. Everybody's out there. The idea that this one putts can destroy everything and people. Did he destroy anything?

Everything? Or did he make that flight super fun? Now, because you also see the people on Instagram laughing when he wakes up. He's got the duct tape kind of just the saliva has given himself a little wiggle room with the duct tape. And then he says, help, help me, man. And it's just, it reminded me. This is the 2021 version of the don't tase me, bro.

It is. You're doing something that you're going to get taste because you deserve it and you're being an asshole. So you're going to get duct taped and then watching them whine and whine and whine as if they've never had consequences for their actions before. Because he hasn't. Because he hasn't. And now we got something.

It's kind of nice to see. It's nice to see it play out because sometimes you just got to get punched in the face. You do. And sometimes you can be duct taped to a seat and publicly shamed almost to the point where I think we can eliminate our criminal justice system to some degree. The crime is done. This man will be made fun of wherever he goes. And I think that might be enough for him.

There should be some social justice allowed. I think there is. I do believe, you know, I believe in the stockades. I think there should be more public spankings. I believe in dunce caps. I wish there was more of that, but we just won't get it together on the rules. But I have a question. This is a discussion question.

Do you think that because of the increase of chaotic attacks and chaotic events on planes, do you think that it all begets itself? Do you think more people see other people doing crazy shit on planes and then decide to be like, I'm fucking going whole hog, just like that other dude did, even though each one of them keeps getting smacked down, getting their heads fucking bounced against chairs and getting duct taped to shit and getting tased? I pray to God this isn't one of those moments where someone's like, no press is bad press. I guess I'll go act crazy on a plane.

I'll go viral. I don't believe that there's some of that with shooters, too. I believe that with mass shooters, they do understand that they get an amplification of their message that people pay attention. I don't think these people have pre... I don't think there's a lot of cognitive pre-thought going into them acting crazy on the planes. But yes, absolutely it was shooters. That's one of the most disgusting things ever.

And that's why the media coverage needs to be much better of explaining what douchebags those people are, no one to be idolized. This dude, man, this Barry, he said in a statement, he said, this will forever be the most dehumanizing experience in my entire life. Yeah, I wait till he fucking enters into the healthcare system. Many people laughed and ridiculed me as I was mistreated by staff of a professional airline. Well, my friend, you were not acting professionally on set airlines, you get acted. You get to be treated like the child that you're acting like.

And of course, the flight attendants association is standing by the flight attendants. And I never thought I would be one to defend flight attendants the way that I am. But at the end of the day, because now we know how hard their job is, we know how hard their job is. But at the end of the day, people keep on acting like dipshits on flights. You know what they're going to do? No booze. That's the thing.

They won't let us have the booze. Sometimes I get nervous. I know. And sometimes I get nervous just not, but sometimes I get nervous about being sober. Yes. Of course. Well, that's like, oh, like I'm just, oh, I'm so like, it's like my skin's crawling. It's like my hands are shaking.

You know what I mean? Delirium tremens. No, no, no, no. I'm like nervous. I'm like scared like I saw a ghost, but instead I'm seeing me not having booze. Do you see pink elephants? No, no. I am the pink elephant.

Oh, that's nice. Be careful. Act appropriately on planes. Everybody please. We're starting to open up and we would just want, we can have this be a fairly smooth transition. We could. We can.

This next story is something that I brought up a little bit before and I want you to talk about because you found a side story along with this that is fascinating. This is all about military tech. Oh my God, dude. This is some fascinating stuff. This is just a real quick roundup of a, I went down a fucking hole. I don't know what was worse, the between the Christian delving into the depths of whatever I don't look that is versus the Havana syndrome mystery in the the world of neuro weapons.

This is one of the most fascinating real life, formerly thought to be sci fi series of events that are happening in front of our eyes. Dude, sci fi is getting more and more sci every day. There is more and more of it. It is. And I do believe that there's that's the part of it is we're making the things of our imaginations real on purpose and that they were seeded long ago. And now we're kind of seeing them like first created by authors and cartoonists and filmmakers.

And now it's they are adopting it and making it real. Absolutely. I mean, look no further than the freaking straight out of Star Trek star space force. Space force is just the dumbest branding. It's still there. They got a bunch of money coming. Well, because now Elon Musk also said he's going to be the first person to put a billboard in the space.

You saw that? Oh, wow. Oh, that's what you want to do. Yay. Come on. They've learned nothing. The Havana syndrome mystery is a concept that is we covered a little bit last year and it's there's it is more it's ongoing.

The idea that there was a series of diplomats and CIA ops in Cuba that were experiencing this weird illness, nausea, disorientation, memory loss. And it seemed to be a rash among like this whole community of people to the point where it seriously affected our relations, our newly open relations with Cuba. Well, we're working and obviously Cuba, we're not going to go down that rabbit hole. There's a lot going on in Cuba when it comes to the upheaval of the people and of course the the sanctions on the US and just the devastation that's been it's weird. It seemed to be this tiny little testing spot for whatever this would turn out to be.

So it's just unfortunate. The US government thought that it was like a sound weapon because we have been working on sound. Very hyper specific because in Cuba, there were five very high level political leaders. They just died. Yes. And people are like, maybe it was COVID. Maybe that in maybe in this case, COVID is a smokescreen.

Who knows? So the idea they first thought this right, but it turned out they didn't have the residual injuries that would also come from a sound weapon. They would have certain amount of nerve damage, a certain like like tissue damage would come along with it. So they started to say they believe actually it's this type of neuro weapon. And when the term neuro weapon got thrown out, they said this thing and they acted as if it was just this like silly little thing, you know, like a neuro weapon.

Wow. And it turns out that's the thing that they've been working on for 30 years, right? That we have been working on. And also, I guess everybody else has been working on, which is basically a thing that can create, send a hyper specific microwave and tell me if I'm doing this wrong and saying this wrong. I'm definitely am. Side stories.

Lpo.tlgmail.com. And that what it can do create little bubbles inside of your brain that pop and fuck with you, right? Cause of an aneurysm perhaps. Essentially, and really fuck with you. And there are certain people that say that they thought that the Havana syndrome was fake. The former head of the CIA said that they believe that the Havana syndrome was mass

hysteria. But the new CIA director, this guy, William Burns is now saying, we're taking this seriously. We're really going to get down to the bottom of it. But what he is basically, to me, that is code for they are going to start talking openly about how China and Russia must have these types of things, not that we had them first or that also there's a man named Dr. John Giordano, whose whole thing is your job like his whole thing is talking about the, the burden that the US government has to research these horrible neuro weapons because no one should have these, no one should have these

weapons. But as long as the other enemies have them, we definitely have to have them, right? Well, of course. And that's been the narrative for a long time and some ways accurate. I went into a fucking rabbit hole of speeches by Dr. James Giordano and one of the things he talked about was these, essentially a neuro disease, you could create a disease, you can spread, you can basically give it to a specific person and it can change their personality so that they agree with you.

Alcoholism. This is brought to you by the handhizer Bush. What? I wish. But it's that idea. Highly suggests. Highly suggestible. It can also do the opposite, it can make you highly aggro, it can make you flip out.

That's one thing that they were talking about. Another thing they're talking about, they believe that using certain systems that they can, you sit in a room alone, you don't know that there are systems in this wall that are literally scanning your brain and it looks for patterns within your brain that come from what he kept saying, Dr. James Giordano is just like, we just want to say thank you to big data for allowing all of this to happen because that's his whole thing is that you using the aggregate of thousands and thousands of thousands of brain scans, they could start to figure out patterns in the human brain about how things spark inside of it so they could basically

tell what you're thinking and what you know. And so the idea is that they can scan your brain from afar and then use that information against you and he's just like, we're not really going to get into the ethics of whether or not someone's allowed to not answer a question verbally, but we're allowed to steal the answer from the inside of your brain, that's for future generations to decide. You know what's interesting as well, I just was reminded as you were mentioning this, the U.S. military, they have AI experiments, they're growing right now. Dude, they believe that they can, they believe that they think that they're starting to work

on a system where they can tell events that could happen two days in the future. Yes, I believe it was two or two or three days in the future based entirely off the algorithms, based entirely off the data. Now of course, humans are going to know, this is the beginning of, you know, well humans are also going to know that like, oh, there's spying on you there, so there's misinformation can be done in so many different ways. Misinformation, more like piss information, I was saving it for tweets, but I decided not to.

I'm so happy you saved it for me, buddy. Yeah, I saved it for the show. But the AI, it really is, it's happening, it's happening right in front of our eyes, and obviously the military will be the first people to use it to capitalize on it. But as we see with the wonderful drones that we have now hovering over the streets and the robot dogs in New York City, at some point it will come home to roost. And that's sort of what's happening right now when it comes to these micro drones. You know, people who used to say the birds aren't real, they are real.

But man, at some point those people, there's going to be a Venn diagram where they are correct. The U.S. Air Force is currently developing remote-controlled bird-like microjones with flapping wings. Oh no, this is chasing after the heels of China and Russia as well, because they believe that that's the, that is the type of shit that we're seeing that's bugging out our jet systems that we all believe is UAP. So the microjone, it will have the ability to change velocity without the support of

high-powered, without the support of a high-powered computer, that's according to a service release that states the team are using a 2014 patent for this project. The release states, controllable forces would be generated by wings based on position and velocity profiles, resulting in time-varying wing upstrokes and downstrokes, which at times may be asymmetrical. That is a fancy-ass way of saying it flies. It flies here, it flies, and it's going to fucking get you. It's going to be hard to catch with a net, and it's going to be hard to shoot it with

a gun. Bro, I just got five bug zappers. Dude, we've won for each limb. I'm very happy with myself, I already caught three mosquitoes. The microjone could be used for surveillance, obviously it can be used for the military, it could stake out targets, either way, when we talk about our civil liberties, and when we talk about what's the future going to look like for privacy, all of our assholes are going to be on camera, they probably already all are.

And then Apple's doing the new thing where they can scan your photos for signs of child abuse, that's going to be interesting to see how that rolls out and what that affects people. Well, that's one of those interesting things, because of course you read the headline and you're like, great, fuck them. But then the wrote to hell, and you just wonder what all of a sudden who knows. This is the type of shit. Also, can they plant data on your phone?

I don't know. Who knows? But this is also the stuff that's couched deep within the world of the new world of UFO disclosure and UAP, right? Because if you remember, the big report that came out, the one that we got, the very last blurb was again, and this is why we need more money, and this is what they're spinning on. Air Force Directed Energy Report argues defensive force fields may be just on the horizon.

We've got force fields. I was watching demonstrations of new mobile lasers, like this type of shit, it's like we are in the future, everywhere but here in America, like where we live our day-to-day lives, where we're struggling still in the pandemic and doing all this shit, where poor people are basically being left to die, and people are starving in the street, and so there's no money to help them. But there's plenty of money to create a wide swath fucking laser force field that can only be used against the tech that only we can even afford to have.

Yeah, maybe if China, if we're in a full-on World War style official hot war with China, which is probably never going to happen, because we owe so much money to them already, we're not going to fight them. You know, people criticize the Marvel. Those are the only people we can fight with this shit, we can't even fight the Taliban with this shit. People criticize the Marvel universe, but they are single-handedly the reason why we'll never go to war with China, isn't that nice?

So if you get a chance, thank Chris Evans. Captain America. Not to get too top hatty here, but also Biden on the southern border. That will be a virtual wall, is what he's proposing. So all of that stuff is happening. It's just wild, dude. It is wild, and as we learn more, we will obviously bring it to you, and I know everyone does their individual research, which can lead people down very dark paths, so also

be careful. That was the thing. Once I got to the end of it, it was about 45 minutes, this neuro-weapons-like lecture, and I was like, that is enough internet for me for one day. I just like closed it, I was just like, I need to go look at a tree, I need to just go do I sat with Wendy. Isn't it a tree, though? Oh, fuck, what am I?

One of my least favorite things that they've ever done, you know, the cell phone towers? Yes. Oh, I hate it. When they put the little branches on it, like the world's worst guy, and it's like, I see, I see, are you trying to hide? They're supposed to, I guess they're doing it for the birds, so the birds can have a lovely new homes inside of these structures. I never saw a bird on one of the damn things.

No, because it's probably, like the microwaves, probably give them fucking tumors and shit. Well, we can't wait to see, we're the test group of the cell phone, can't wait to see the big bulbs we get. I don't actually, they are not saying that we have any of that. It doesn't seem that the 5G is making us gay yet. I wish it would. I could go for that. All right, well, let's go.

Also, you should go to the drive and look up this one thing called the Strangers Encounters with an Identified Aircraft we found in the FAA, the FAA's huge database, and there's also this concept, because it's all of these recent weird sightings of a gold disc with a cylinder coming out of it, or several discs, cylinders flying, and it's, these are commercial airlines. Are you just talking about the Olympics? I think you were just watching, that's the logo. You're being topical, but it's over already, so it doesn't fucking matter.

It's fucking over. It was just over. It was fine. The Olympics were great. I love the Olympics. But this concept of like, how many times have we been on planes, and they, we're flying, we don't know. You're like four fucking vodka, the V&T's in.

It's either drinking my vodka's or sleeping. Right, and you don't know that there is the pilots just flying, and there's a gold disc like right next to the wings, like, oh, oh, oh. With any luck, it's Sonic the Hedgehog rules. Get the ring. Don't even bring up Sonic the Hedgehog, it's all Christian, man. Fucking Sonychu, man. What the fuck?

I hate it, man. You need to get Christian out of here. I hate this, man. Anyway, we'll, of course, keep you all up to date in the way, in only the way we know how. The most, the highest scientific thought. Non-objective. This is journalism.

Because that's the whole thing. People always say they want us to remain objective. Because that's what makes us, like, because we're the words of truth here. Hey, brother, we have a hell of a lot more truth on this show than the vast majority of mainstream media anyway. Coming for you, everyone. There you go. Coming for you, fucking wolf.

Fucking wolf. Wolfroxen? What's the name of that guy? Wolfroxen. It is. Coming for you. See you then. There you go.

You've nailed it, and I loved it. Life from your grave. All right, let's go back to Earth. A woman has allegedly chopped up her husband with an ax and asked. And then has asked her children to help dispose of the body. Hey, man, that's why you have kids. Yeah, I guess so. I'll see them.

She's 34 years, she's 34 years old. Her name is Thessalonica. Thessalonica. Thessalonica. I kind of love it. It sounds like a series of books I have to buy, but the Thessalonica Alan. Thessalonica sounds like a disease you hear a commercial for and you don't know who has it.

She was arrested for shooting her husband, Randy Allen. Oh, the old Thessalonica and Randy relationship. She shot her in the bedroom of their La Porte apartment, and then the kids heard the shots and walked into the bedroom, and then Thessalonica allegedly told them to ignore the dying man's pleas to call 911. And then the children, they are teenagers all under the age of 16, were later woken up in the middle of the night, and their mom needed help to drag the body into the car. So I guess they helped her with that and never gotten this call from my mom.

No, thank freaking God that my mom has never been like, Benjamin, Benjamin, Benjamin, I killed your dad. I know that's my only voice. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, after their mother came home the next day with an axe and chopped off Randy's legs, he gets help load his remains into a tote, which police later found stuffed in a closet in the daughter's bedroom. Oh my God.

Okay, so the police said the children stated that mom had plans to take the vehicle and body to South Bend and set it on fire. Anyway, so that's the story that was different than the other one we covered when we talked about the robots and stuff. Yeah, it is different. Yeah, I mean, but honestly, at least it's, you know, at least you didn't kill the kids. Is that weird to say? At least the kids didn't just get murdered, how they always do when the family and I later

kills one and then says, oh, this burden my children would have. I think that under, I think Thessalonica at least understood they can take the burden. Well, do you know what happened? So Randy was there and he was helping the children fix a computer and then they got into a fight. Once Randy saw a website their mother had visited, the husband and wife then got into an argument in the bedroom. What was the website?

Well, we don't know. What's the QVC? What's the QVC? Maybe QVC, she's buying too much knickknacks. It's these cubic zirconiums. Oh, my God, two papers found in the apartment under the daughter's pillow appeared to be a to-do list with items like hit, well, this is a quote, hit him with a hammer and stab him and quote, roll up body and sheets and plastic bags.

And then for some reason she put that to-do list under her daughter's pillow just to traumatize the kids a little bit more. So this woman- The salonica planned it very well. No. I mean, technically, she put a list together. She put a list. As better than we planned most of our live shows. I will say the thing about a list, a lot of times people do the list and then they act

as if they did the things. Exactly. And I would never fall in that trap. The list isn't the thing. Sometimes people make too much- The map is not the term. Sometimes people take too much time planning. They do. Not enough time doing.

Although that being said, that's why Henry and I were stuck in the Chicago O'Hare Airport for about 11 hours because we were living not planning. I was living not planning. Marcus loves that. He loves to hear that. Oh, he hates it so much. Let's do another story. This is a lighter story.

This is way- This is honestly so much more of what our listenership really, really enjoys to hear. So I know that we dropped some truth bombs today, but this is more important. Man in China almost dies after inserting live eel into his rectum to cure constipation. Oh my God. This is in Kuala Lumpur. A man named Jiangsu, he, no, a man, he's not going named. I don't know how he managed to keep him anonymous.

He inserted this 20-centimeter eel into his rectum, and I do like they clear it up. They say, via his anus. Oh, great. Not the second rectum that none of us have. He said he almost died when the fish, it scurried its way up into his abdomen. Why? Why did he do? See, it's from folklore.

The treatment was from folklore, and it said the eel could help in bowel movements. Now, the thing about folklore is that they're allegorical. So folklore, they- What's the allegory? Use your fingers. Have patience. Understand that like the eel which hides amongst the rocks, it does poke its head out from time to time, but only what it needs to, only what it has to go, and the shit will come out.

It will. It will eventually, or you die from impact of balls. But I just feel like, overall, there's so many ways to get the poopy out, and I'm not a doctor. I know, breaking news. But I feel like the more things you insert, the more things get stuck. You want to flush, you don't want to insert. Nothing with blood in it that's not attached to another body.

You know what I mean? That's why I brought it. Like, not a hole of something. Truth up. You should never go inside of your asshole. True question, though. I know we use slugs. They'll suck out some blood to take care of you a little bit.

Like, apparently, yeah, we do sort of throw some of that. Can eels do anything for us? Do eels? I'm going to Google it. No, they just rip up your fucking asshole. Well, if you suck, can you stick them in your asshole? Look at this thing. Look at this fucking evil creature.

It's a moray eel. That's not even like, this is not good. That look at its dead eyes. It's shin Godzilla eyes. It's not supposed to be inside your fucking asshole. Well, interestingly enough, one Google search, test of research, apparently, according to the first thing that came up on Google, so you know it's real. A flexible and transparent power source was actually inspired by the electric eel.

Does it say anything about going up your ass to do fucking, to help with constipation? No, but they were the inspiration for the cardiac pacemaker. Oh, yeah, because they can't shock you. So they inspired art. Yeah, yeah, they can't shock you. They inspired art. Yeah. I can't even come close to imagining the amount of pain that that poor man must have felt.

And then, of course, just the embarrassment. And you know, doctors have seen it all, but they're still human, so they have to laugh. If you go in and you got an eel up your asshole and the doctor's going to take it out, but they're allowed to laugh. But you know what's the silver lining of this whole story? What's that? The eel lived. Yeah, it's alive.

I mean, it's traumatized. It'll never go back to normal. It'll never be able to go back to his eel population after you could imagine the shit you'd get from the other eels when you arrive, being like, they're like, look, take a bit of brown-nooser. Yeah, exactly. Smells like it's early anus eel here. It sure is.

Yeah, dude. You were stuck in that anus, dude. It wasn't my choice, bro. Oh, he's a victim in all of this, isn't he? And somebody please adopt that buddy eel because he's going to need some love. Don't touch these eels. Don't touch the moray eels. Oh, my gosh.

All right. Well, there's a couple of series of stories that I don't even want to get into this. Like, there was two weeks ago, because like, we took our little break. Thank you, honestly, for people that were, we do love that people love the shows. You guys were good and patient. I mean, we had shows. Yeah, we had shows. It's great content.

It's our version of a vacation. But during the vacation, there was a rash of cat murders that I don't even want to get into because it triggers people. It just happened, it happened in Olympia, it happened in Michigan, it happened in Brighton in the UK. Several people, there was a cat killer. He sentenced to five years after he murdered 16 cats, which is, that's a lot. Why is he killing all these cats?

Because I guess it's easier to do than human women. It's better to do as well. I mean, but I just feel like don't. Is it better? Yes, it is. Always killing an animal is better than killing a person. Sure. Unless that person is poaching an animal that we love like the elephant or the giraffe.

I hate that. And then the poachers, I'll hunt the poachers. Never think about that. I do. Anyway, so people are killing cats. Let's talk about this story, because you don't think about librarians very often anymore, do you? No.

And you especially don't think about librarians as the orders of, or, or tours of pornography. I honestly, I more think of them as that than I think of them as their job. I'm sorry to the librarian listeners out there, but yes, I love the library. The librarian look is a common trope that is enjoyable. So this dude apparently he kept on calling this library and he would ask them to read the Supreme Court decision on porno. And then as the librarian, if they did this, as they were reading, he would violently masturbate. So for weeks, an unknown man called libraries around the country looking for a specific

Supreme Court opinion to, for someone to read to him. As the librarians complied, it became clear that he was pleasuring himself to the words of the court, which means Antony Scalia, which means Clarence Thomas, which means some of the more elderly, disgusting people, Stephen Breyer, this man was just hearing their words interpreted through the mind of a librarian and got violently hard. I wish I could get aroused by C-Span. You know, much easier that would be if your porno choice is just in plain sight. I think it turns you into Matt Gates.

It turns you into Matt Gates. It turns you into one of those guys where just your spruidness makes you hard. What a scumbag. But this, I like this term. So this is, there was a couple of the librarians, they spoke about it. He calls from a block number. He has hit multiple libraries across the country. And I do like that.

This is the way he, he pitches it. So if you get a block number asking you to read Brady V. Maryland wiki article while he quote unquote writes it out by hand, hang up. Because that's what he's doing, because then you can hear the scrubs, because I bet he thought that it would sound like he was just scribbling when he was masturbating. But I bet he made, he bet made some sort of audible pleasure noises. So apparently this guy, he's got a, he's got a reputation now. And so this is a last podcast, side stories, red alert, red alert, red alert.

If you are a librarian, do not answer the phone if it's an unblocked number because it was phone, the masturbator, the man masturbating to Supreme Court decision. Also you know what? You know how you beat him? You masturbate right back at him. I don't, I don't think that's a fire with fire. Actually you know what? The idea of someone being pleasureed other than him would probably be a turn off.

Oh yeah, well I'm touching McLean. Yeah. Oh yeah, he won't call me, he needs to be mom, he won't take me looking clitty, he beat. That's it, you get him. That's your impression of a librarian? You know, not all of them. They're very quiet, very nice.

They're ones in Queens. Well, I don't know if there's many libraries in Queens. There are libraries in Queens. How many are there? I don't fucking know. There was one in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I believe it got shut down, which is quite unfortunate, but libraries in Queens, what do we got? There's, oh, 61.

There's 61? Yeah man, you can jerk off it everywhere in a single one of them if you want to. Oh yeah, the Woodhaven Library, that's where I was from. That's where my, that's where I learned to read. I didn't masturbate one time, I saved it for my house. They did have the Playboy section in the Stevens Point Library, I never went over to it. I thought the, we just stole porno's. Wait a second, they had Playboys at the library?

They did, I think. Did you go to like a library for truckers and genoves? No. Most libraries, I think, do have a little bit of smut. Side stories, LPOTL, Gmail.com, telling us what porn you got at your library. You know, they still also sell, it's so funny, at the airport in the back of the magazine section, I'm Andy Rooney, license plates, why do I care where you're from? But you do see the back section where they still sell the porno's.

Who brings the porno on the airplane, not to be Jerry Seinfeld, but who buys the smut? And then what do you do with it? I guess you jerk off in the hotel room, or you jerk off in the Delta Lounge? I don't know, I just feel like the internet has brought us so much better porno than Jerry's big red hot liquors, that of course you can get right there at JFK, because who's more aroused than when you're at the JFK airport? God, I love the airport. All right, well, let's talk about this.

I think it's time for Hero of the Week. Is it? Well, let's do this one story really quick, because this, you know what, this is a hero with Jason, this woman, she sued McDonald's after an advertisement for the cheeseburger that she saw, which is a triple cheeseburger that I must say looks delectable. I mean, that's the fake food photography version of that sandwich. I know, you ever see those where they're like, you know, it's just glue, and I'm like, that glue looks pretty good.

The whole thing is just toothpicks and glue, and I'm like, well, you have with your eyes. Yeah, it's your video. So I'm not even going to, Kisna Ovchenkova, something like that, she's from Russia. She claims she saw a McDonald's ad, and then she was forced to break her fast because it looks so freaking good. So now she's suing McDonald's. For what, like thought crimes? Well, she's an Orthodox Christian from Omsk, Russia, OMSK.

She claims that seeing the ad really helped her, really forced her to break her fast. This is in 2019, but the story is recent. She's still on litigation for this two years later? I think she doesn't have a lot to do. At the time, she says she was attempting to stay away from meat and other animal products, which I think meat is the main one there. Yeah. But maybe mayonnaise or something like that.

Yeah, she said she didn't want to have any meat byproducts, poultry, eggs, or dairy the entire period, but apparently she didn't love God more than she loved this advertisement. Yeah, that's the thing. It just shows how weak your love for your precious God is. And you know how much this thing cost her? A thousand rubles, which is 14 bucks. What? That's a thousand rubles.

That's $14. Wow. A thousand rubles. Yeah. For a triple cheeseburger, oh, she still bought it. Also fucking heretic. She would burn to the fucking stake. She was fast.

Mail her to a cross. She was fasting for 16 years. I mean, that's a lot. You know what? No meat for 16 years. Cathalsons and the Christianity didn't even call for that. No. No fish fries and everything else.

We do know, I do know a lot of people who are vegan and then they go away for one weekend and then they just start eating meat. Yeah, of course they do. It's just so funny. So this must be. Because being a vegan is very difficult more than not, even though it can lead to a very healthy lifestyle, but it seems to also be more of an attitude choice. It can be.

Sometimes. Never become, I'm just going to go with Penn Gillette because he was fat and then he became a vegan and then he yells at you all the time. No, I'm done. Whatever you want, man. But don't come after me, man. I'm the one. I'm keeping the cow population down, dude.

We don't want them get. We don't want them proliferated. Keep it up. No, no, no. Keep it down, bro. They get too big. They get too big. They get too big.

They run around all of a sudden. We can have all this. We don't want all these cows crowding our highways, crowding our trainways, getting in way of our FedEx deliveries, right? We can't have that. Oh, that would be absolutely horrible. I did just see a picture of a cow that has a bunch of muscle because he has some condition. Probably not good meat, probably keeping him alive.

So yeah, she says, by this point, I had already been fasting for a month, but when I saw an advertising banner, I could not help myself. I visited McDonald's and bought a cheeseburger. In the actions McDonald's says, I see a violation of the consumer protection law, and I asked the court to investigate if a violation has taken place. I don't even know what that means. I have a feeling that it's not going to go anywhere. All right.

Well, there we go. Okay, let's do hero of the week. Hero of the week. What? Man, that is a heck of a song. Yeah, on the week, bitch. This week's hero of the week is a good Samaritan who simply goes by Tony when a lawn care worker saw a neighbor having a seizure in his car and begged for help.

As the victim convulsed, Florida homeowners screamed at them, get off our lawn. The good Samaritan identified only as Tony. He said he recognized the victim and he knew he was he knew where he lived and ran to his house to alert his wife. The department called Tony a hero, creating his quick, quick actions with saving the driver's life. When the neighbor screamed, get the man out of here, have him die somewhere else. It was a sad moment for Tony, but he kept at it.

The department posted on Facebook, Tony, who's often been seen pushing the lawnmower in the neighborhood, saw the emergency as he was on Dunes Road in Palm Beach Gardens in a neighborhood with many modest mid-century ranch homes without thinking twice. Tony ran up to the rolling car and grabbed the fender to try to stop it from rolling down the street further. According to the sheriff, it ran over Tony's foot, but thankfully he had a steel toe boot on. Whoa.

So he's all good. And when the car ended up on the unhelpful neighbor's lawn, Tony begged and screamed for help to no avail. When the victim recovered, he asked the sheriff's office for Tony's phone number so he could call and thank him. And then he met up with Tony on Wednesday and gave him a big hug. So anyway, that one resident is a total psycho. And then, can you imagine having to live by them the whole time?

No, I can't imagine. They just want you to die. No, yeah. This is in Florida, I believe. Oh, yeah, man. Of course, yeah. In Florida, it's like death zone currently. Yeah.

So thank you, Tony, for not listening to the snooty Karens or Kevins or whatever those terms are now that your kids are using. And don't let those bastards get you down when you're saving a life. How do you say we switch into Kevins? Sure, Kevin. You haven't done it once. You haven't done it once. What about Claire's?

I don't know. Claire's are nice. Karens are also fine. I know a lot of nice Karens. My favorite casino waitress over there, Mandalay Bay, is named Karens. Yeah. Karens free to design all the costume work for your pretty face going to hell as an incredible person and a wonderful artist.

So what's her name? Shut up. She's not a bitch. No, whatever name. Everyone has one of those names in their heads because of personal experience where they don't like that person. I have two bad Angeles in my life. Two bad Angeles?

Yes. Okay, we can go with an Angeles. But I like them. Sure, sure. I like the other Angeles I've met. I'm going to go with Chester. He was our music teacher, not a molester, but naturally as you can imagine. It does sort of lend towards being a child molester, being named Chester.

I mean, Chester, the molester, it just rolls right off the tongue. Yeah, it was a little bit weird. There's nothing you can do about it. It wasn't our fault. The doubts was his name. English was made to rhyme by people a long time ago. That's right. All right.

All right. So here's some letters from the listeners. We have a lot of listeners. We got a lot of letters over the last like two weeks. So there's a couple of just reoccurring themes I just wanted to bring up in ring one and read a couple. One reoccurring theme is talking about the things that you wish you had not seen from your parents and what it does to you.

Like this one man talking about how his relationship with his mother was forever destroyed when he found a picture on her phone. Like they already were having problems when he found a picture on her phone. Full frontal nude, just really taking a big, huge purple dildo inside of her. And that was really difficult for him to get over. That just means her. His mom's a human being. Healthy sexual woman.

Yeah, that's not bad. Just think about that. Think about health. Healthy and sexual. Your mother is. I used to. I didn't know my mom had those fake those those fake boobies that felt like chicken cutlets.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I used to play with those when I was like seven. That's fun. I still play with those. Yeah. And then there was another story of a man going through a young person going through their father's night dresser, the night drawer, the drawer next to the bed, never do that.

And finding one single solitary printed out picture of him 69-ing with another man. Which is again, that's what you get. You deserve that. And I hope it's. I hope it scars you forever, unfortunately. The closer to the bed, the more sensitive the material. So do not go in any drawers close to the bed because that's where you're going to find all your toys, your zigzags, your webops.

I mean, who knows what they're. Who knows? Here's a story that I find interesting. Just know again, when you guys send us our letters, we absolutely love them. You should just like maybe take this as maybe it's a fun thing to bring up at a party. Maybe it's been debunked, but we'll find out. You guys always tell us. So tell me what you think of this.

Did we talk about how sharks don't usually attack humans? This is off of our USS Indianapolis episode that we did right before our break because we're not their usual food sources, which is true. But he also, we talk about how humans sometimes don't taste good to apex predators. So a couple of years ago, I went on safari and the first day out, we witnessed a group of lions take down and eat a couple of war dogs, both metal and horrible. And I was talking to the guides about how safe it was for us to be a few meters away in open-sided jeeps while they had no guns.

They told us not to work because they don't see us as food. The only time you would be in trouble is if you were out on your own and you were unlucky enough to come across a hungry one. This had happened a couple of years ago, which led to a whole bunch of problems because apparently as according to these safari guides, human flesh tastes particularly good to land predators because we're the only animals that they would eat that add salt to our diets. Ooh, we're pickled. And yet we are salty.

Our meat could actually be salty, which is delicious compared to the unseasoned warthog that the lion is normally used to. So we're just, every time we put... And then once they get a taste for it, they can't eat anything else. So every time we put seasoning on our food, we're seasoning ourselves as well. Yeah. Wow. So if they're really hungry, they do eat us.

At what point do they realize that we're delicious and even when they're full, they eat us? They have to. That's what they said. They get a taste for human flesh and then they become man-eaters and then they have to be shot in the head. Which is unfortunate. Yeah. Unless they kill a poacher.

That's kind of fun. Kill a poacher. They'll be fucking sweet. I love this. I've seen so much footage of poachers getting murdered by animals. It's a good little rabbit hole for you. This is the story of what it's like when you die from steam. Oh, Jesus.

I don't want to die like broccoli, man. You don't want to die like broccoli. I was on an aircraft carrier and I worked the engine room as a nuclear power plant mechanic. During training, we got to see all of the gruesome ways you can die in an engine room. Steam leaks were some of the first things we addressed because once you lose steam, the whole ship is a sitting duck. No electrical power besides the backup diesel generators and no power to the engines. When a space is filled with superheated steam, meaning steam that is far, far beyond the

temperature of boiling water, our steam ran well above a few hundred degrees Fahrenheit and 1000 psi. It is super dangerous. Oh, it's coming at you fast. Oh, yeah. And you can't see super, you can't see superheated steam like you can see regular steam coming off of boiled water. It's a pressurized jet of steam that can literally cut you in half if you walk past it if there

is a small leak. In the case of the Indianapolis, the boiler basically let off everything at once, filling the entire engine room with 400 plus degree steam. Imagine the air itself being as hot as a frying pan. Your exposed skin just burns off instantly. Any clothes that are made out of polyester melt to the skin underneath it. In this instantaneous moment of having every inch of skin burned as if you were dipped into a KFC fryer, you scream once.

When you try to inhale, the esophagus and lungs are instantly parboiled. They are cooked. You either pass out from pain and shock, hopefully, or for a couple of seconds and pass out from lack of oxygen since you inhaled air that is full of water in the form of steam. It's probably the most painful way to die in less than 10 seconds. So that's what he basically said. He said, you don't want it to be like that. I guess it's over fast.

That is fricking brutal. And this is a story that I asked about specific crimes, and we talked a little bit about big data today, and I think that this is fascinating. Now, I'm not trying to incriminate this person in any way, shape, or form, because, again, the way this writer talked about this, this is a thought exercise to imagine if it could happen. Imagine that this happened. Imagine a person who worked for a big pharma where results of clinical retrials and drug

development progress is a big deal. Everything is kept under strict lock and key until results are announced to the public, shareholders and shit. With the exception of COVID vaccines, they fucking share everything in that case unrelated to the story. Knowing what other companies are doing is essential for making multi-billion dollar decisions concerning drug development, essentially corporate espionage, much is much more common than you realize.

I love my job and have been a major part of developing drugs and making positive changes for children with blood disorders, but occasionally I had to investigate what progress our rivals had made so we could either make a better product or adapt our strategy. This is an oddly specific, there is an oddly specific black market for drug development in which traditional quote unquote honeypot methods are used. In case you've never heard of that, oh yeah, oh yeah, in case you've never heard of that unlikely, this is where a target is seduced and either blackmailed or had things stolen afterwards.

So as an aside, I'm a gay man and a medical doctor, specifically a blood specialist. So who knows? Let's just say I have been assigned to find and seduce men that have accessed the clinical trial data that has not yet been released to the public. Whoa! There's four parts to this plan. Number one, the honeypot that does the seduction and ultimately steals the data. Two, the driver or quote unquote Uber that comes and collects the data usually on a drum

drive. Three, the handler that coordinates all of the activity. Number four, the broker that sells it on the dark web after a period of time. This is espionage. All the data is given first to big pharma that is paid for the acquisition and after a period of time the data is leaked on the dark web to the highest bidder. It varies a lot depending on the drug and patent cliff and a bunch of other boring shit that I hate talking about because it feels like verbal lobotomy.

That's from the guy. There's a very specific part of the Code of Federal Regulations called 2-1-CFR Part 11 that outlines something called audit trails that I'll get to in a second. One particular assignment, hypothetically, let's say this didn't happen, none of this happened. Hypothetically. Let's just say hypothetically. If I did it.

I was asked to go and borrow data from a laptop belonging to an older man that was staying in a hotel in Charleston, South Carolina and in the closet, right? You can't steal a whole laptop or else you would. Any gram? I don't know. Was it a Lindsay? I don't know. Whoever's laptop it will, they will alert big pharma IT and the laptop will immediately

be tracked down so it's much more practical to use an encrypted jump drive. Use an encrypted jump drive for a more subtle touch that buys you time before alarms go off in the system. Nobody thinks about their laptop post-coitus. Oh. Right. The honeypot is either tasked with buying a stock phone, usually an android from a Walmart or Dollar General, or is provided one in a dead drop where it's just dropped into

a fucking, yeah. At the Dollar General you can get a phone now? Yeah. You can just get whatever. Go to the burner phones, right? Well, that's not a dollar though. Then you use WhatsApp or Kik and then that's what you handle. You work with a handler that's supposed to get you, right?

Given the, this is how the way that you work it out, right? So given the current 2-1 CFR rules, this constitutes a broken audit trail and can't be attributable, right? But to all of this kind of, basically what you do is you break down exactly what I'm doing and who's telling me what to do it, right? And then you go and you meet this person on a gay dating app that could be maybe called Grindr and you find the target that you had unpublished data on a new diabetes drug that had amazing potential as a honeypot, hypothetically.

And as an aside, so as an aside we had this amazing drug but we needed to change our strategy so this is a win-win, right? So in my experience there are always these older middle-aged men that were in the closet so they can't risk about being exposed and they enjoy the company of men during corporate travel. Oh. So I would flirt and do anything to end up in their hotel room and once the deed was done and the target likely highly intoxicated, I would use an encrypted jump drive that nondescript

copies everything on the laptop. Either the following morning or the same night, the honeypot would order an Uber and the jump drive was left in the car. That all burner phones and WhatsApp accounts are deleted and discarded and getting rid of. The handler and the broker break contact in a similar way and you only kind of have an overview of what happens after that. Well that is a fantastic, I think in Tom Clancy. So.

There needs to be a movie about that who thinks about big pharma and espionage and undercover work. But there is espionage within the Hollywood system. Of course. You really can't, this is the truth. You cannot talk about it. If you have a good idea, you don't talk about it in a restaurant in Los Angeles. Thank God I'm not too concerned.

You don't talk about it at bars, you don't talk about it because people listen, they listen, little birdies everywhere they listen. I have been talking about my strip club, Gapers. Gapers is big, but we're looking for investors on Gapers. Yeah, we're looking for investors on that. All we need is, listen, $20 million, we can make Gapers happen. I loudly scream disinformation wherever I go. Disinformation?

Yeah. More like piss information. You are absolutely incorrigible. I'm really enjoying myself with my verbal puns and that's why you just gotta love your own mind. You honestly, you do because we're stuck in it. I'm stuck in it. You gotta love your own mind.

You gotta laugh, just think about the fact other people don't know what's going on inside of your mind and in your mind you're stripping them nude, you're blowing them up with explosives, you're making them the lord of the underworld covered in sea of rats and turn them into like a half human, half rat hybrid or maybe you're making them into like an angel, like a cherub, sexless almost, no pieces, no genitals, no holes, nothing to fuck, there's something that you're looking at someone but you don't know that I'm doing that to you. No, and the whole time you're just sitting on the Supreme Court. You're in cases.

You're in cases. And that's why you gotta live. You do. Knowing that I hope that if I don't try to latch a baby, one of our friends' babies to my breasts that I start generating milk. I don't think that you will, my friend. They won't let me do it. They won't let me try it.

They won't let me try it. Oh my goodness. Well, strange segue to that, congratulations to Sina and Cosmo for their beautiful baby hero. He's just, he's so, he's everyone is doing so good. The first one, man, babies having babies. I can't believe these 39-year-olds are having babies. Is it weird that I don't, I don't think that they're, I know they're adults.

Yes. I don't think people should be able to drive until 45, kids, 56. I don't know. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. We can't wait to see you on the road. Yeah, you fuckers. We're coming out.

Pay attention to whatever your theaters tell you about the various vaccine guidelines. We have no clue what's going on with that, but buy tickets for Des Moines. Buy tickets for Air Me Hair. Air Me Hair. Des Moines. We also got some things left. And we cannot wait. Yes.

Absolutely. St. Paul's sold out. Pap's Theater in Milwaukee damn near sold out. So make sure you get those tickets. And the same thing for Des Moines and Omaha. We can't wait to see you. Can't wait to see you, fuckers. And yeah.

And of course, you know, again, as Henry said, we don't know with the ever-moving COVID protocol, but if... We're all vaccinated, we have to do what you gotta do. Do what makes you feel comfortable. I don't think anybody should feel ostracized for doing anything that they gotta do to keep their brains together. Absolutely. But of course, we will let you know what's going on there.

Be safe and take care of others. And there's nothing wrong with getting that little bogey poke. Getting that fucking bogey poke. Oh, that went to Ralph's. Dig it, man. Yeah, yeah. They were like, and you got it from Ralph. I wish.

I never fucking met Ralph yet. Fucking fuck it. Where's Ralph? Where's Ralph? All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan.

Magus Dalatians. Hail me. You dying? Yeah, I'm close. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.