Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Beautiful Writer Who Killed

Episode Date: August 9, 2018

Gather 'round the podcast machine, kids - it's time for Side Stories. Ben 'n' Henry are back with more true tales that are stranger than fiction: murderous authors, cat serial killers, and more. Triple L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last top. On the left. Why? I love your glades. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I am ready to record.

Hit the record button, man. Oh, did I push it? Oh, I'm pushing the record button. Oh, so much energy to push it. No? So we're recording? Yeah. Alright, can we just start the show then?

Oh, yes, now we can. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben Kissel. That's Henry Zabrowski. He's pushing the record button. I'm technically at the end of a bender right now. Oh, you are, huh? Yeah, because I went to ELO.

And I haven't come down from space since then, bro. Yeah, that's the Electric Light Orchestra. Yeah, buddy. It is called, otherwise known as Stepdad Central. Oh, I can imagine. Yeah, it's an older band, huh? There are so many guys named Greg there that are just plowing your mom.

Because it's their third marriage and they don't care anymore. And so now they're doing a lot of asshole stuff on both sides. They've learned a lot from the new magazines. They found out about Tumblr. They got toys for men now. Yep.

Well, that's what happens when your father has to become Santa Claus because he murders the original Santa Claus. We've all seen the movie, folks. We know what happens. Judge Reinhold moves in. And then she's sexually excited by Judge Reinhold. Oh, right.

Instead of Tim Allen. You can tell me the man, the king of men who made barking a national pastime. That was a punchline. Yeah. It absolutely crushed. Yeah, Tim Allen was a prescient member of society. Yeah.

Because now it's like, because I would even say he predates sort of an Elon Musk sort of. Sure. Follow me on this, Kissel. Okay. An Elon Musk idea of the technological advancements of the home and what it would do

to the modern domestic nuclear family. Tool Time was the single greatest show inside of a show of any show in the history of shows. To the point that my parents didn't even know that the show was called Home Improvement. Well, Home Improvement sucks. That's what you have to do to avoid the family on Sundays. And then as you go up to the roof

and you break a shingle to fix a shingle. But in Tool Time, it's like the toilet's a sofa. Who doesn't like, I mean, it's kind of disgusting. It's a little bit Roman Coliseum-esque, but that's okay. Yeah. I'm trying to really deviate. Like I'm trying to separate where I shit from where I just normal sit.

Right, right. And that's what I've been now saying is normal sit. I don't say sit anymore. Say normal sit. And then shit is just sitting. Really? Well, that's good. So now you're normal sitting.

Oh, I hope so anyway. Yeah, I guess anytime you're doing whatever you're doing. Just let me know if it becomes not a normal set. I'll tell you how you know. You know how you know? Mm-hmm. When I start talking like this. All right.

Sounds like you're pushing the record button. Ugh. Disgusting. Yeah. My goodness. But by the way, we have a bunch of animal stories to get to because we've got a new addition to the last podcast, Family Puffin. He's actually watching the show right now.

I brought my boy to work and he is very, very cute. He was going to be sold at this big. It's this Korean dog meat festival. It's like true. They kill over a million dogs a year for every for this festival and they were able to save him. So whenever he's bad, I'm going to tell him, you could have been a burrito and he is fat.

You know, it would not have been a burrito. He would have been, I would say, some form of barbecue. One of them slices of barbecue that you do yourself. Man. You could have been bambop. Honestly, the whole idea really did make me my skin crawl, but then I'm remembering what we had at Cena's bachelor party, the Korean barbecue.

Any meat would taste good with that sauce. Love it. So is that why my first reaction to seeing Puffin was like, I'm hungry? No, don't say that about the dog. I'm not going to kill the dog. So we got a couple of animal stories to get to today though, and they are not good, not good.

I'm very excited that you saved Puffin. I can see the relief in your eyes. You obviously, you have a joy. You have a spring in your step that you didn't have before. Before you were a sullen, drunken mess. Sure, sure. Now we have a dog. Now you have a reason to live.

Sure, yeah. Yeah. Because brook will go, the women go. But the dogs can be kept. Right. You know, it's a strange thing to say to a person, but yeah, yeah, technically, I guess anyone, anyone that can have a credit card can leave you.

Puffin can never have a credit card. No. So that's true. Well, let's hope that doesn't happen. But nonetheless, well, speaking of leaving, the first little store we have today, it's a little bit old. It's from early July,

but we weren't doing a show that week. Casey Anthony. There's some, well, not so breaking news, but evidently Henry, she is no longer wearing the ashes of Kaylee around her neck. And this is something right before the trial, I believe her mother was wearing the Kaylee Anthony ashes around her neck.

And then she gave another necklace to Casey as sort of a morbid bonding moment between daughter killer and then mom who was grieving. But as a gift, it's like strange. I think so. Because you know when you get a bad gift, because I remember when there was one Christmas when, you know, I was a little just like unrepentant little nerd child

until now, even continue to be so. But I really wanted bongos. Wait, what? Why did you want bongos? I wanted them. Because honestly, I would eat. What Polish kid growing up in Queens gets inspired to bongo? This was the beginning of my Afrocentric leanings

when I used to go. This was when you were in college, you requested bongos. I was like a senior in high school by then. I wanted bongos. Wow, OK. There's also, I'd be great at bongos. Look at me. Yeah, you have the body type of a bongo player.

Yeah. My hand, I would be a great bongo player. I believe that. Little hands. Yeah. I can make different sounds with my hands. Look. That's just clapping.

That's slapping your stomach. That's slapping your arms. You're honestly, how much of the differences are you picking up on the mic? It's pretty good, actually. You're a human bongo. Yeah. I actually saw an act like that on America's Got Talent, I think. And I think they moved on to the next round.

I don't know if we're very talented as a people any longer. We're not. No, no, absolutely not. And ham bone is not a skill. OK. So when I got the, I thought the very end, because you know, like my parents made a very big emotional deal about the gift giving process of Christmas, which ended up ruining the holiday for the entire family.

But a part of what they did was that they would wait for the big gift at the very end. And I remember, and there was this box, and the bongos were going to be in it, right? And then I'm all built up and they're like, here's your box. Oh, I'm going to guess. I'm guessing boxing gloves. Sweatproof pillow. Well, who doesn't want a gift that says we know you sweat at night? That's why I feel like what?

That's a gift for your mother, because I'm sure. Yeah. Wow. Sick of watching the pillows. Sick of watching the pillows. But I feel like Casey probably had that same exact reaction where it's like you're on trial for the murder of your own daughter. Right.

So you guys are trying to decide whether or not you're going to spring the story on them that the father molested you. Right. You're waiting for that. You're waiting for that jump, that surprise. Well, now that just happened in real time, right? Like the father, he was just in court room and then like a little chihuahua, his ears just perked up and was like, oh, what was that?

They found out like the day before. You know how they get to present the story? They get to find out. So he found out like the day before and he had to sit and think about it the next day slimed on camera in front of the world. Yes. And so, but at the time, I imagine Casey's kind of expecting like, maybe she get me a bottle of makers, maybe like something fun because I'm not in jail yet.

But it said, oh, you give me the ashes of my fucking daughter. Right. Yeah. Maybe rap. Do you think? I don't think that Casey Anthony is allowed to say like you anymore. Like once you sort of put a little sticker on your daughter's dead mouth and then throw her into the woods, I'm pretty sure keep her in your car for numerous days.

I don't think you're allowed to be grossed out by anything. She's very, very sick. She's a sick woman. She killed a child. Right. So a part of it is that she did have that sort of distance effect where I think that that was also of it too. It's like there's something about the coldness of a Florida hot woman back in her mind where

she just kind of deleted Kaylee. And so to have more evidence of it, it's like ugh. And so did the mom, did Cindy get Kaylee's ashes back and sort of like a title match? I don't know exactly how that happens. Like the undertaker's earned type thing. Did Paul Bearer deliver this to her? Or yeah, did they have to get in the ring and scuffle? I have no clue how that whole process goes.

And I also don't really trust it. Who says, how do you know if it's the ashes of the person that you want or if it's just somebody who just has all the ashes of all the bodies in the crematorium and he just throws them at random people. I don't trust it. I mean, it's such a deviation of any sort of trust that like I feel like if you do shatter that version of trust, then you literally can never trust a single person to ever do anything ever again.

Yeah. Now apparently this was, the gift was given Henry during one of the reconciliations between the two gals, Cindy presented the necklace to her daughter as a gift. And at the time, Casey was living in South Florida with a pastor and his family. How scared were those kids? That's gotta be. You're bringing in Rebecca DeMorne from the hand that rocks the cradle. I mean, you're bringing in the person accused of killing a child.

And it's like, oh, we also happen to have a two year old. If you get any ideas, we don't really like her that much. If you think, anyway, okay. I honestly think they just knew not to get in the way of if she wanted to go out. Oh my God. I think that like the kids just understand where if Casey, she's like, I'm going out for the night. They're like, oh, you're going to want to take a little bit of Advil because it'll help

your hangover. Here's a water. Here's an Uber voucher. Yeah. You know, like, yeah, really get out there. Really have a great time. You know, make take care yourself. Have a fun time.

Dance a lot. You know, like a bye. Bye. You're not our mommy. And Casey, don't forget that PDL that you had for the baby. You could actually take it for your hangover. Yeah. Isn't that?

Yeah. It's actually kind of a funny thing. Yeah. I hate PDL. It tastes like pests. Oh, my. I'm going to kill your cats. Uh-oh.

Have fun. I can do it anytime I like because I got these deadly spader hands. I'll tell you one thing. It's not ever a good reconciliation meeting when the gift exchange of a child's ashes have to be something that takes place. That's never, it's never good. Good reconciliation meal. Technically.

A meal. Bloomin' onion. Oh, well, if you're going to do meal, you have bloomin' onion. And you would want, if it's a reconciliation meal, you want to have something that has a dip in the middle and then you all kind of pick from the sides because at some point you're going to go for the dip at the same time. Your chips are going to touch nose to nose and then you're going to look at each other and laugh because you both wanted that asparagus dip at the same moment.

I actually get, uh, I get upset. Or to joke dip. That's what I meant. Why? Because I get upset when the lump I'm looking at gets taken. So I think it's actually really important to do, it's important to have, yes, I do believe you though. I was kind of being facetious about a bloomin' onion because I don't think that's the best

reconciliation meal. I think you need a nice Greek meal where you have many different flavor silings and again, family style. Because it's really one. Family style. That's what I'm saying. It's got to be family style. It's got to be family style.

Because that's how you feel like you're family. Right. Because everybody's cheering from the same plate and everybody gets mad if one person takes more than the other person here to begin with. That might have been, I would love to see just an animated series solely around the table set solely around the table. Just you and Jackie. And just there's one like potato left.

I don't know what Polish people eat sometimes and it's just you guys trying to figure out it. You know what Polish people eat. We've eaten together. We have stuffed cabbage. We have like, oh man, little Poland on 2nd and 12th Street in New York City is delicious and they have a stuffed lamb chop that's just ugh and you got Rogies and then I don't like Borszo.

I don't like cold soup. No, I don't get cold soup. Just heat it up. I don't think they had the ability to heat the food. So they had to just say it's good. Is that what happened? Whatever. They just leaned in?

We're all sorts of rustic. It's whatever evil because we were constantly being chased by a certain other race of people. Now there's another story I'd like to talk about which is about this Chinese crime writer named Louis Yong Bao that on July 31st of this year was finally sentenced to death for a cold case where he killed four people with an accomplice named Wang in 1995 where essentially he killed, he bludgeoned four people to death and they finally found him through kind of what is now the new renaissance of using DNA testing in China. They found him.

They wrote it down to his last name and they found it, they ferried it him out all the way to him specifically. They tricked him into getting his spit and then they linked him to a cigarette butt that was left there in 1995 when these four people were bludgeoned to death in a cabin. And then the guy went on to write many Chinese books that, he's a crime novelist and he became very, very successful. So in those coming 20 years, he just sold a book called, he just sold a book that was a historical fiction and got turned into a 50 episode television series.

So essentially it's like if George R.R. Martin ended up like murdering, like wholesale murdering four people with fucking hammers. Well what is it with the cigarettes and the murder? I mean everyone's always like Aaron Hernandez, he's chewing gum and killing. Cigarettes and killing. You gotta relax. I guess it's very stressful. So the books were best sellers though, huh?

Yes, he did very well. And the story is that Louis was one of two men who checked into a guest house in the eastern city of Housseau in order to rob its guests. Now those are guest lean times. Never trust a writer, they spend too long alone. Marcus is the shadow of the writing that's starting to make him into sort of like a golem and I'm afraid of his thoughts. Absolutely.

Now when one victim named as Mr. U fought back against the thieves, they beat him to death. Okay. In order to conceal their crime, the two men are alleged to have murdered the couple who ran the guest house and their 13-year-old grandson. Jeez. Zhu Sanchang, one of the officers involved in the original inquiry, told the paper a Shanghai-based news website that the manhunt had gone cold because investigators could

find no link between the victims and their killers. This was the most difficult thing. We found it hard to follow the vine all the way to the melon. I like the analogy, those detectives are much more intelligent than our detectives who would never come up with such a beautiful way to describe how their case went cold. But it seems a little bit strange to me that he murdered one and to cover it up, he murdered three more people. It's like when you eat a whole pizza and then you're like, and I better lose some weight.

I better eat a lean cuisine. You're right, it's just like this. It's just like that. Just like that because it's counterproductive. Well I get it honestly, so you gotta kill everybody. Why do you kill everybody? If you're gonna kill one of them, you gotta kill everybody because that's you keep a secret for 20 years.

Ugh. That's how he was fucking kept, he kept, he got to clickity-click all day long with his private little thoughts. Yeah. He fucked a ton of money. And then now he sat there and apparently when they finally found him, he was sitting on his porch and he said, I've been waiting for you here all this time. And so he said, don't worry, there's no punishment.

He's like, I've already died a thousand deaths. And so now he went- And the cops were like, no actually there is a punishment. We're gonna put you in the prison? You know that whole prison system? Oh. Yeah. Check please.

Uh-oh. So he went and he, yeah, so now he's been sentenced to death. Wow. But there's something about authors because he went ahead and he wanted, so essentially as he wrote this, so the kicker was, he had pitched a book in the intro of his last book. Now what's the name of it? What is it called? If I Did It?

The book was called The Beautiful Writer Who Killed, and it was supposed to be about a beautiful woman that would go on to murder, who is an author, that would murder a bunch of people and get away with it and then write a bunch of books about it. So at some point his publisher just writes in the email back being like, so like, you're the woman, right? Like you're really into the killing of these people. So that- So clever for your own good.

I hit you with hammer. You know what I mean? He does it again because he's always ready to kill, always ready. But he actually, there's another case that was very similar, another man named Richard Klinkheimer, who his wife, Honolore, vanished in 1991. He was a Dutch crime author who did the same thing, essentially he murdered his wife and no one knew what happened, so his wife disappeared. And so no one knew what happened, but Klinkheimer showed up at his publisher and said, oh, I've

written this book, it's called, it's basically seven ways in which someone can kill their wife and then dispose of the body. Oh my God, they want to get caught, they want to get caught at this point. Well, I honestly believe, we've talked about this many times on the show, about how they want everyone to see how clever they are. And so his book was called Vonstank Gehakt Duck, which meant Wednesday, Minstay. And it was this detailed exploration of seven ways in which Klinkheimer could have conceivably have killed his wife, Honolore.

And one of the scenarios set out in the book, he disposes of her body by pushing her flesh through a mincer and feeding it to pigeons. And to pigeons. To pigeons. Pigeons like red. I don't fucking know. It's European. These are European ideas.

Okay. And so what ended up happening is that so she disappeared, he went on to go move in with the chick in Amsterdam, had a great time, you know, live in his life, very, very bad drinker, very abusive husband to her, abusive to this new girlfriend. Someone moved into his old house, they decided they wanted to renovate, they dug up the backyard, they found a gigantic concrete square with his wife's body in it, and basically he went to jail after that. But she wasn't minced though.

No. Okay. Well, at least he didn't do it like that. That reminds me of the little read, the reading folder there, the little inside folder reader thing that you used to use CDs. Remember 2000s. Liner notes? Liner notes.

Remember 2000 slappy hours or something like that? It was green. Oh yeah. 2030 smooth out slappy hours. Yeah. Yeah. They had that story in there about a guy who killed his parents and put them down, very similar to what Dennis Nielsen did as a matter of fact.

Maybe that's where the inspiration was. Put them down at the garbage disposal. Before Columbine, there were many, I remember how many times we would read things that were sort of about killing your parents. I know. And then after Columbine. And now we can't even joke about it anymore. It's unbelievable.

Columbine ruined everything. All right. Well, interesting story. I'll say it again. I'll say it again and I'll drink when I say it next time. So interesting, a lot of these authors out there are murderers. If I find out Tom Clancy is a secret spy, I'm going to be very upset. Collusion.

Collusion with the Russians. Which is also sentences. I don't even know what any of it means anymore. I don't know. I don't know what collusion is. I know it means technically isn't it cooperating? Technically we collude. This podcast is us colluding.

We are making a show. We have colluded to make a podcast. It's very loose. All right. Well there it is. I can't trust a full on author. We've been getting a lot of hash and a lot of mess from people saying that we're not working on the book and we're working on the book.

We're working on the book? What do you mean we're not working on the book? No, it's amazing. We do stuff. I mean it's not maybe to the extent that Marcus works on the book or maybe you have you tried Charleston Heston when he was given in his NRA speech holding that gun and he's like for my cold dead old racist hands that would be easier. It would be easier to get that gun out of his hands than it is to get Marcus to not

work on the book. Yes. He loves the book. It's in his hand. It's in his little claws. We're doing some fun stuff. But I'm really afraid for that. We're supposed to write 10 chapters.

So you know I'm just as long as we don't get an 11th chapter that says like how we could maybe go about killing all the girlfriends. I mean then we know that he's gone too far and he needs an outreach. Well yes absolutely but I don't think he's going to go too far because he's got little Georgie over there his cute dog keeping him sane. Well what if Georgie's telling him to do it. Well I don't know about Georgie. Oh man that's a good point.

I haven't met Georgie. I've met Georgie. I love Georgie but at the same time I don't know what he says to Marcus in private. Wendy says stuff to me. When he builds me up she says something like you're the king daddy. Daddy you got to get out there and you shake it up you fucking you keep it too real to be ignored out there daddy. Right.

I'm just like you got it Wendy. You know I will. Don't kill today daddy I need you to come back. You're right Wendy. Maybe Wendy has to go outside to go to the bathroom or something. Oh she goes out quite a bit. I take her. We take her out four times a day.

Oh that's good. That's good. She's always saying she's very uplifting and she never says anything violent. That's great. I'm happy that you don't injure. I mean you know well but you know what she's not talking. You do know that. No no she's talking.

I can I can translate what she's saying to me but from her eyes. Okay all right well speaking of animals we got a sad story here now I don't like this one one but it involves no a serial cat killer he's suspected of a string of multiple murders cat murders that is and he's not just murdering these cats. He's mutilating the cats and how is he like how is he mutilating them well the latest feline aside victim now it's a cat it's a tabby cat named Harley was found dead found at 10 a.m. on the front lawn of a home near Decatur Street and apparently the residents found it and it was it was mutilated and I don't even know if he likes put it in like

a cross form or something but he's putting all these things in public view so this cat was taken from her home and and then again found on the front yard of the neighbors house so it's not as if this person is trying to you know hide the crimes or make it seem like you know the cats are just running away he wants everyone to know there's a serial cat killer on it on their hands. I wonder what kind of motivation that is besides to be completely frank a massive cry for help because I feel like there's a lot of people now that's a one thing about our audience now more than ever before true crime audiences and people there's so many more people educated

about true crime and nature of serial killers so I wonder if they now know almost in a way if I'm showing people I'm killing these animals will someone come and help me. Yeah maybe that that's a good point apparently Harley was a 20 year old cat he was deaf Kathy Harrigan told the station I believe that's the owner she says he was deaf he had found a place under a tree in our yard so we took him in built him a house and kept him warm over the next couple of winters there's no way he would have would have ever been an indoor cat or we would have brought him inside they went to bed in them and they went to bed and they woke up in the morning and the cops knocked on their door and they said are

you missing a cat and then they said oh I guess we are and it was found mutilated on the front yard and now it's Jesus Christ it's brutal I feel like it's I feel like on some level if I was a police officer I'd be like yeah we saw your cat get hit by a car you know I mean like you just lie to them and you just and then you take the or Nate seven style yeah playing of the cat down oh my god and you just and you keep that to yourself and you don't tell everybody that there's somebody out there that's reenacting Vincent Donofrio's the cell but with Garfield like if it's like oh my cross over but if it was Garfield you know that the obese guy who gets to die in a bit I think a bunch of ravioli

or something if it's puffin my little Pomeranian or Garfield they'll never die are you guys familiar with deer jacking what the hell is deer jacking deer jacking is when you shine a light into a deer's eyes it makes them freeze and then you shoot them with a gun but it's like when it's out of season when it's when it's not that alright well I just went to Greenwich New York which is a town of about a thousand people is this where you what did you do there I went for willing mud and you know he went into a helicopter as well no he's going to die die like the rock but so if we see you on a sky so my so Sarah and I were we passed by this guy and he waved at us and she said oh that's the guy who almost

got in trouble for deer jacking in the town so apparently this guy had a happy family and then on one of his birthdays his wife left him gave gave him divorce papers and then he became a notorious deer jacker in the town of Greenwich he started shooting deers and mutilating their bodies and leaving them out for people to see really and the they almost called the authorities on him but everyone's it was sort of sympathetic to his to get him broken up for help well you get you get a month you get one month to mourn like that I think but yeah and he also yeah he like mutilated coyotes and it was just him reacting to getting divorced and he eventually stopped and now we now he's

the guy you waved to on the street oh now he's good again but I'm not doing it anymore but there was a rash of coyote mutilations and deerjackings in Greenwich because of this guy's divorce well this is according to the owner of this little tabby cat she says it's really kind of terrifying terrified does it stop with cats and then the fact that this person had laid the body out for everyone to see is really disturbing so who knows I mean what this is in Seattle we are in Olympia Olympia Washington so Kelsey grammar no I feel like if there's anybody out there that would it that has a cross to bear when the fact that we've gotten Murphy Brown reboot coming out the last man standing reboot coming

out he's been heavily heavily petitioning to get a Frazier really but it but I don't think it's happening because of his reputation in his history and every single bit of tragedy and horrible shit that seems to follow him but he's maybe it's him I will say this Frazier holds up no need I don't like the reboots anyway there's a new show out there just waiting to be birthed just I'll tell you what no cat is safe until Frazier crane can go back on the air well put him back on the air you know what he really want to be the beast again oh he was great as the beast he should have really just become a psychiatrist on the radio in real life I would listen to Frazier's radio show every day lean in why not oh yeah look

at this this is what uh in order to keep Kelsey grammar from cheating his current wife made him get a crotch tattoo of her name and so he says here see it yes he said here my wife said why don't you get a tattoo I guess it was sort of based on the idea that if I ever I thought maybe a peccadillo outside the marriage was a good idea that whoever might be you know seeing this particular piece of equipment was already signed and owned by someone named Kate what if he has an affair with a girl named Kate and they should be like you need a lot and then he's like you want to see my crucifix filled with pets oh my god it's a crucifix garden does that make it better if I call it a garden I mean I think that is

what you call a group of crucifixes together maybe could be if you are if you're the cops here right like first of all you round up all the 12 year old boys like the penguin uh rounded up the kids and Batman returns and you just really you just say who did it right I mean that's kind of 15 and under 10 to 15 years old that's the I mean it's it's one of those it's one of the kids in the town don't you think it could be or it could be to be honest I mean what we saw with Ku Klinsky what we see with many people is a true crime enthusiasts are so big now that I honestly really wonder if it's not just a 30 year old podcaster hey could be I guess so or is it suicide have we thought about that ladies and gentlemen

depression in cats well that's it ain't right what if it's a cat serial killer that would be if we find out it's an actual cat I don't even know do they make that's our fucking show that would make that's our honestly that's I'm gonna fucking pitch that show which is the idea of like Heathcliff but Keith Cliff that world of Heathcliff is being like a hunted by a cat that is like a juicy horrible serial killer with like a dentist Nelson dancing with other like like fucking the heads of other dead cats and shit oh my god um all right about it so there is a $3,000 reward being offered for any information that leads to the arrest and also this was just kind of a funny little side note the name of this

is a local Fox News station q13 an anchor for q13 also offered up $1,500 as a reward after Ali was found mutilated and this is what anchor David Rose tweeted he said she was strangled and sliced upon to the six suspect I have a particular set of skills and I will find you I can read from a teleprompter I can put the shoes on and pants and shirt on that are left for me to wear each day you are somewhere within 10 feet of a teleprompter I will be able to see you yes nothing no more alpha male I love all these alpha male tweeters out there to the six suspect I have a particular what particular set of skills does this news anchor have by the way to find someone who mutilates cats what set of skills would go

into would be needed to find someone who skins cats and murders cats I have six cats and I can tell when a cat is crying for help and I listen every night I sit perched on my roof corner like a gargoyle listening to the cries of cats to see which which are in danger very cocky very cocky news anchor there also in dog news a former GOP leader allegedly kills his mom's dog and claims he received a command to do it from God so that's kind of strange there I don't think never does that it's never that it's never asking to do that it's always asking to save a dog save a dog instead of killing a dog that's right he's a former leader of the Republican Party in South Carolina his name is Todd Kinn Cannon he's also a former

lawyer Kinn Cannon's mother who has not been named told the police she was absolutely terrified when her son allegedly began attacking the dog Bailey with his bare hands and he was needlessly mutilated he was choked and stabbed and the lawyer was found bloody outside of his parents home in nothing but his underwear with cut his arms and hands and also he was covered in dog hair so why is he like this I don't know why he did it he says this is according to him I guess he says I know I'm this I know I'm the second coming of Christ and I got a command from God to do it that's what he said this man that you got a look at this dude Todd Mac Todd Todd Kinn Cannon the second coming of Christ I hate his face

he looks like Haley Joe Lawsman if he shaved yeah one of those big like used to be a TV actor heads and he's got lost eyes and just the idea of killing a dog like what will possess you well he'll possess you to kill a fucking dog like honestly he's got a little bit of a a Chapman look too doesn't he's kind of got a portly little face my kid yeah he's got he's got a horrible he's got a horrible horrible face so that is this week in animal mutilation news hopefully next week we won't have to cover but I'm gonna say Todd King Cannon is the worst person of the week and not to steal a Keith Oberman bit oh he was so funny he would say you're the worst person of the week but he never said he was the worst

person of the week man in the mirror glass houses that's how I feel I feel like Keith Oberman maybe could have this just headed to because honestly though he is saying it to himself anybody's calling anybody else the worst the worst man of the week is obviously themselves thinking they are in fact the worst man of the week they must be they must be that's what I think I actually one last little animal news I have is this rake a character called a rake which is a weird monsters captured on film stalking a moose in the Canadian wilderness I saw that very fun quirky like it's a good little video and you should look it up essentially it looks like fucking golem and it is a very it's a very creepy little creature and it's

a fun little video because you see this moose no clue what's happening behind it in the video behind it you see this sort of I'm gonna say akin to a Jeff Goldblum like character staring at him from the the edge of the forest in yeah Goldblum mid fly right before he's still a little human but he's now really becoming a fly he technically is closer to a Steve Buscemi yes because it's very pale to the point where being very like almost gray rake is not really a character it's not a real thing except for a fact there was a a weird a mariners log that was found in 1691 which was a care with this this was basically a mirror it was a story written in the 1800s which described the rake and which is the

way you can see it in the video is having hollow black eyes and being terrifying in nature in 1964 a suicide note was written in which the author claims to have committed suicide due to repeated encounters with the rake and the fear that the creature will torment him horribly and so it's just kind of there's a couple of creepyposses around it and it's a it's a it's a character that's just out there well I tell you what he's got a skinny little ass he yeah he definitely does now do they have they tried to debunk the video at all because it's a great video and they debunk it did they find technically you sent me this video yes and it was from the Fox News website and it's just like they kind

of like hit the they kind of like fucking roast this guy essentially they say like there was something about how what it's like they asked the guy cuz like oh can you tell me what it is like the video which is viewed more than 30 the video which has been viewed more than 30,000 times was posted by Andre Tangua for shit who was unable to explain the footage likely due to the fact that the monster is not real pieces of shit why are you doing why are you showing the video right you're gonna be upset this is where I mean honestly Travis got me mad about it yeah good good it's just funny cuz it's like two paragraphs and they're saying like the shit isn't real and then below it is a bunch of clickbait

like this baby dears reaction to the man who saved her will make you shit your pants oh well that's good that's just good entertainment alright well yeah check out that video I don't know why they're debunking it I want to see proof that it's not real but it's very cool nonetheless I mean if they got their like skinny drunk buddy to dress up like that and go scare the moose one of these days he's gonna die I will say on my deathbed when I finally get the cancer that's coming if the heart attack doesn't kill me first what a fun way to go creeping people out all thin no hair walking around in the woods gone you could be somebody else's monster Henry like you can that's at some point you just do that

and you don't want to scare people but like everyone is just repulsed by you because then they have to confront the inevitable fate that we're all gonna die and you are the living embodiment of death at that point so you're gonna freak out people bro don't even worry about it yeah yeah just me sitting in the bed yeah just you being just you demanding soup and just like needs his needs an IV you know cuz his blood needs to be thinned it's coming out pretty chunky like borscht I will put it this way by that point my blood will be so thick that I could use a thin you could use a thinning agent because even at that today I feel like this yes from hours of party all right guys well I think that's those are

basically some of the fun stories of the week I love these stories keep sending us stories yes I got the Chinese author story from a listener I got the I mean you said like you sent the mysterious monster video but I will obviously I love good like I have a couple of the weird like rapid holy type stuff that I'm gonna go down this thing called cultural layers which I'm gonna go down see what the fuck this is already I could see the on Reddit our cultural layer the first thing it says is wow this is beginning to be scientifically proven and it's a video that says pyramid of Giza has own energy source oh we gotta get into I don't know if it's real or not I want to see what this YouTube video links

to it comes from our T America oh Russian television it's gotta be real I think it was a great it was a great anchors speaking of anchors yeah and DM me you can just DM me on Ben kiss a one on Instagram DM me some of those stories too cuz you know I poke around there and and I will look at them and that's actually very helpful because there's so many stories it's almost hard to keep track of them also all right so our cultural errors I just want to say for studying and organizing evidence of historical and chronological manipulations hoaxes and cataloging instances of anomalous soil acute accumulation and the implications of a very recent earth spanning catastrophe I think it's the idea that things are a lot

older than they say they are there's a lot of there's a lot of talk about so I'm gonna get into deep into this and I just wanted to check make sure that I'm not at you that's a problem with stumbling upon a new like deep dive of thoughts is like I never want to all of a sudden like I'm in neo-nazi territory I don't know you're on Reddit you're going to get it seems like it always goes there I don't know why but I don't start like researching my little pony go through a Brody territory and then the Brody's becoming in cell and the in cells are now becoming Nazis and then all of a sudden you're like I don't know just trying to have fun I'm just trying to have broad interest well did you see I just want

to know new stuff I was trying to learn more about the Alstutra and all the Nordic religions and they were taken by the neo-nazis too they've been they've been totally co-opted hammer emblem that's all I wanted nope can't do it anymore man we can't wear my bursum shirt because of the murders yeah that's my fault I should never purchase it yeah I think so all right everyone fine Henry's Dr. Fantasty Henry loves you whatever the fuck it is you wanted I don't honestly I mean just stay on Instagram I guess it's also all my fail it's all just it's just you know what I'm gonna do why do we technically we have to plug it because we are the only people that support us and of course I had a chance to interview

Ben Westhoff on abling and stop and about fentanyl and we also interviewed him for our patreon all about original gangsters the book that he wrote about big in Tupac and only the only thing he does is email and I think he's like you can sign up for my email list and I haven't heard email list in like a decade and I was like you know that's so funny the pony express of our time should we do that should we go back that and we can make a web series about what it's like living in New York and being a comedian like that's so other 2006 things we don't know why I'm not successful I've got my email list I have a YouTube channel YouTube you you to I to you you to because it's a part is that you do the tube oh well

this has been wonderful again remember if you're living and not laughing then you're not loving that's and if you're living and loving you're gonna be laughing at the afterwards hopefully yeah you talking about in heaven you talking about after you're fucking dead no when you're dead there's radio silence you think there's no living laughing or learning I am going to talk through a microphone I think you can do it energy I'm gonna zip zap around and just go make like you know different kind of noises and bury you with a microphone up your asshole like it's a mafia hit oh that'll be nice alright okay everyone hail yourselves hail Satan oh do it do what it takes to get a little bit of Satan in your

life this week sure talk to you soon