Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Bigfoot Files

Episode Date: June 13, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: Bigfoot disclosure, a Snapchat vigilante, the Paul Hellyer Reddit AMA, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop. On the left. Side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Oh, that's very- Oh, damn. Oh, my. Oh, man. You just don't know how many things are connected to your back. Everyone knows how many things- When your back hurts. Are you still talking about this bad back of yours you got while dreaming that you hurt your back? Yeah, honestly, it's just- I've had my youth taken from me in one instance. You're 35 years old. You had it taken from you 15 years ago. Nah, we're young for a long time, man. It's the fucking age of the state of mind, dude.

You don't think so? I've seen 75 year olds that are fucking- Tony Curtis squirted a baby into a woman when he was 75 years old. He's still making it rock enough to get the sperms into the back of the youth. Well, I don't think that's how- Squirt's gotta go. That's not how child- That's not how it works. But I- You know, no, you've never made a boy. Or a woman. Or anything. I am child-free. I do have a puffin. But no, of course. Yeah, but you didn't make puffin. No, I know that. Thank God. Alright, this is Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben. And that is Henry.

You didn't even make puffin. I couldn't make puffin. He's a German spitz. Why didn't you love dogs enough to try to make a dog with another dog? Well, you know what, folks? I'm not even gonna entertain this conversation today because I don't know why- Oh, yeah? It's just not- You know what? You know what? Hands to God. You passed this? You passed this today? Hands to God 2019. That's what I'm doing. We lost our friend. This is how you want to do this?

What? Okay. Dude, you brought up our dead friend in response to me talking about how you don't- You didn't fuck a dog to make puffin. That's not how it works. I'm mourning. You can't- No, this is what my mother used to do with my grandfather. Every single thing. Oh, your grandfather would have hated this and pointed to his oil painting on the wall. Kevin would have hated this. R.I.P. for a loop for life. Kevin would have felt nothing. He literally would have felt nothing. He would have been like, yeah.

Yeah, dog, why didn't you fuck that dog? He would actually have been on my side. Well, that's the interesting thing now. We can just sort of be like, no, I think I know how he would have felt. See? I know. I know. All right, everyone. Well, if you are going through loss out there, don't worry. Well, we're all together in this world. This is not about making a point. I was talking about you fucking a dog so that you would make another dog-like puffin. It would come out like puffin. It would come on our red-haired and weird.

No, I understand. All right? And honestly, it wouldn't even come out. It would just be just a bunch of cum dribbling on the back of a dog's asshole. I just want- Do you- That's the real conversation. You know, we have a lot of stories to get to today. We honestly really do. A lot of stories. And thanks for-

This was a- This was a wild week. It really was. It really was. Weird news. There was a lot of shit that came down. Basically, quickly say Samuel Little may be becoming our most prolific serial killer in history if he's not just lying in jail. Of course. He just confessed to 90 murders. Yes.

And these cops, the way they're talking, they're like, yeah, he's just closed out in other 50 cases. It's really important to get closure for the victims. And just being like, you were just showing them pictures of people. And he's like, yep, yep, that one too. Yep, yep, that one too. And he just drew a bunch of pictures of random women to show. Basically, he drew pictures of his victims. Right, right.

To go show to the world to see who would recognize them. I guess some people are getting recognized from these pictures. But the rest of them are just pictures of women he used to jerk off to from the 60s. I'm pretty certain one of them was just what's her name, the dark-haired woman from Charlie's Angels. Oh, of course. I don't remember the name. He did like five of those. I'm sure.

Well, yes. But the problem is that when you're already sitting in jail, he's already sitting there for life. He's an old man. He's going to die in jail already. So now he's just either, he is either the most prolific serial killer in history, or he's just racking up numbers so he can get more respect while in jail. Absolutely. I think it's so tough to discern what's true or not. I would hope that the cops, you know, had a piece of information that they didn't release to the public.

And then he was like, yes, indeed, there was red slippers involved. They're like, he knew there were red slippers. But then again, as Henry was alluding to, it seems like he's just going, he's just trying to be the Babe Ruth here. And who knows what he actually did during his playing days. Yes, that is an interesting story, but that's how crazy this week is, that's not even close to the most interesting story. We also have the FBI, Henry. This is great for disclosure. This is for you.

This is for you. And it's for, it's big for everyone. It's big for everyone, and it's big for me, and it's about Bigfoot. The FBI has released 22 pages of its investigation into Bigfoot. And can I just say this, Henry, 22 pages after all these years? Yeah. It's a lot of pages. It is a disappointment.

They had more pages on John Lennon. They had more pages on John Lennon's glasses alone. So the American Pacific Northwest, of course, that is Sasquatch Country. They have been obsessed with this for a long time. We were just out in Portland and Seattle. It's fun to see the fake signs that have like Sasquatch crossing. It's stuff like that. But then as a big hairy man, is it not discrimination?

But it is nice to be able to get across the street, right? Where you could actually go, because if people take a picture of you, you feel like a celebrity. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I'm in London. I feel like I'm in Germany again, where if you tap your toe on the street, all cars must legally stop. Really? Yes, that's the rule.

That's why if you- Even now, but I don't know, autobahn. Right? Not on the autobahn. No. Are we going to drive into autobahn when we go to Berlin? I think that we can. And can I drive then?

Because I'm a little- No! No! Unleash the beast! Unleash the beast! You scare me anyway when you drive. I don't know if we need- Never get it out! No!

I want to push it! Dude, if you- I want to fucking drift. Do you want to Tokyo Drift in Berlin? Mm-hmm. If you show up in the car with like six monster energy drinks in a pack of Winston's, being like, ready to go, boys! I'm going to be like, no, we're not.

We cannot. Like, we need- Gotta go, man. We need someone else. We're going to drift in the car and then we'll Berlin drift after the bars in Berlin and just walk sideways down the street from all the heffa-feisen. Can't wait to be bloated. Oh, I can't wait for Germany.

Can't wait to see everyone in Berlin. So going back to Bigfoot just quickly here, the agency records, they date way back to 1976. This dude named Peter Byrne, he was then the director of the Bigfoot Information Center in Exhibition, Ex-Exhibition of Oregon, where the Sasquatch is thought to roam. So he convinced, now this dude, Peter Byrne, this is how, this is amazing. He convinced the fucking FBI to aid in his investigation of new materials he believed confirmed the creature's existence. He cited, quote, 15 hairs attached to a tiny piece of skin as the most promising discovery

Bigfoot researchers had for forever basically. Did you read this story? So he was basically, he was out there on, I guess one of his various Bigfoot hunts and he saw a giant creature just jangling with BL cans tied his ankles going through the forest and he said he saw a pass between two trees that it obviously shouldn't fit through and he went and he found this chunk of hair and skin. And he put it in an envelope and he sent it to the goddamn FBI. And then they opened it up.

And in the FBI, so in the letter that he sent to the FBI, I love this guy Peter Byrne, this is a quote from the letter, he says, please understand that our research here is serious. That this is a serious question that needs answering. And if you're the FBI, that's a fun Monday when you're just, you know what though, I guarantee. You did a fun money opening up a Ziploc bag of random ass meat from any sort of animal. That could definitely also be a dude. If you look at it, it is very long hair. So it's probably, it probably would have been a dog or a bear.

I believe they decided or, you know, through this little thing called science that it was a deer. But I don't know. I don't know. That's what they, that's what the FBI says. Can we trust him? Who knows? Peter Byrne to Byrne, so he received a letter from a Jay Cochran, Jr. Now this dude worked for the FBI and this is what was said in the letter.

He says, the FBI laboratory conducts investigations, primarily a physical evidence for law enforcement agencies in connection with criminal investigations. Cochran goes on to say, occasionally on a case by case basis in the interest of research and scientific inquiry, we make exceptions to this policy with this understanding. We'll examine the hairs and the tissue mentioned in your letter. So isn't that nice that the FBI was, you know, forget about terrorism for a moment. Let's focus on the hair. It seems that they took the concept of Bigfoot very seriously.

If you go through the documents that they have here, the number of articles, both from the New York Times, Washington Post, various other quote unquote legit news sources that are basically, we're talking about the various merits of Bigfoot existence. And it is interesting to see they did take it serious up to a point because kind of like UFOs, right, where you receive so much information about Bigfoot. So many people have said that they've seen it, that at some point you're like, well, we are the fucking Federal Bureau of Investigation. Maybe it's one of those things.

Well, we could put a tab on it. We can open one tab on our browser for Bigfoot and see if it pops up because maybe it is because, you know, then you can flip it. What if they're using Bigfoot as a way to hide in plain sight? Maybe. What if Bigfoot is a really interesting way for fucking ISIS to get into America from Canada, right, where they just dressed as Bigfoot going, oh, oh, oh. Perfect.

Bigfoot scream. Of course. Right. Like, what if it's, that's a great movie, though. It's like the movie fucking Argo, but with Bigfoot, Bigfoot, but it's ISIS using it, dressing as Bigfoot to kind of slide into America. And people just taking pictures of them, acting like it's like super fun. Meanwhile, they set off a dirty bomb in Des Moines.

Oh my goodness. Don't do that to Des Moines. It's a great place full of peaceful people. But you know, there was almost the opposite of that. Remember when those two dudes escaped the prison upstate New York? Mm-hmm. The one dude, I remember, because I was in Toronto and Toronto was frightened by the two man, because what was his name like, Pat Sweat?

Matthew, I believe it was Matthew Sweat and how I'm blanking on the other guy, Rob Nobs or something. But they were coming for Toronto and all of Canada's been like, there will be an invasion of prisoners coming our way. We knew eventually America would spill. But the one dude, I believe it was Sweat, I don't remember, what were the names of those travis. You can do some.

Can you type in those two people's names, please? Thank you. One of the dudes just broke out of, this is a little bit, anyway, just hold on. Let me wrap up the Bigfoot thing really quick. So the FBI, they conducted a little investigation. The lab concluded that the hairs were, quote, of dear family origin. The no longer mysterious sample was sent back to burn while the mystery of Bigfoot continues to live on.

But the one dude, one dude, so these two guys broke out of prison, upstate New York. One guy just immediately found a cabin and started to get wasted and he got so hammered he could no longer run. So David, David Sweat and Richard Matt or Dick Matt. Okay. Dick Matt and, and Dick Matt and Richard Sweat, yeah, David Sweat, Davy Sweat. But when, I believe, which one was the, it doesn't matter, one of them dressed up like full on like, like the dude from the burbs just trying to cover himself with leaves and

shit. And he was, he almost got to Canada, but they found him and they shot him right in the head, although he did live. I will say in Canada, they probably have a pretty firm extradition tradition, right, where they would just kind of kick his ass right back to America. Like Canada's not a good place to run to. I don't know, man. It's like 50% uninhabitable.

So he could go live in the woods, hang out with all the Bigfoot. But he was heading straight for Toronto. Toronto's not going to do anything for you. Those people are not going to, they're going to kick you right back because they are. You got to go, you got to go west and go up through Montana. You got to go, that's where, if you're going to secretly enter Canada, that's where you should go. But they were in New York.

You go through the woods of Montana. But how would he get to the woods of Montana? He escaped a bus ticket. I don't think that was going to happen. If you even got half a good singing voice, if you spend a couple hours busking. Right. Because people just want to see heart. Or what you do is you go in the train and do one of those.

You get the sign that says, give me money to make me stop singing. And it's going. Day, day, day, day with the bell. Speaking of art though, there is a sort of a sweet side of this. Despite their differences in age and personality, Sweat and Matt became friends based in part on a shared interest in art. Sweat recalled admiring Matt's paintings, including one depicting a dog in which you could see every hair.

It was absolutely beautiful. Sent it to the FBI. That is something my mom would say about a drawing. I did be like, oh, this is wonderful. You can see every hair. That's what I love. You can count the hairs. But you know, Henry, they just escaped from upstate New York.

There was a massive manhunt on the run. I don't think they can go in public and then pretend to be a duo singing group. I think that might have gotten them busted even faster than they were busted, which was actually a couple of weeks. Ted Bundy, one of the most dangerous human beings on the face of the planet, combed his hair the other way and escaped. Different times. All right.

But I mean, at the same time, you could still do it. You shave your head. You put on some mascara and a dress, honestly, and you just go out there and you hustle. You make yourself 75 bucks. You start working on a bus, bus last anonymous way to travel. You just keep going west. You go to Ohio. You bust some more in Ohio, maybe pick a couple of dates.

Honestly, like in little black box theaters. Like you start, you eventually, all of a sudden, next thing you know, you're a performer. Back. You don't even need to hide. And then anybody, all performers, look at me. How do I hide? I hide in character. And if you become a character, who knows who Dame Edna is?

Dame Edna could be some serial rapist in a previous life. We don't know. I don't know who that is. Dame, who no one knows who the real Dame Edna is. The great Dame Edna on this program. I am not maligning Dame Edna. I'm relining whoever it was, the human before Dame Edna was Dame Edna. Dame Edna.

Dame Edna. All right, we're going down a rabbit hole though. We don't need to be going down here with Dame Edna. My goodness. I'm just saying, as soon as you become a character, Colonel Sanders, as soon as you became Colonel Sanders, he stopped being Beauregard Sanders, the man who chooses to shoot people outside of his gas station. Well, that is true.

You became Colonel Sanders. Yes. So you hide within a character. So then all of a sudden, you're no longer on the run from the cops. You're on tour. And then you get to Montana and you go north. I love this. I love your version.

I wish that your version of reality was real. Although, if I was the victim of one of those, you know, dudes who escaped, I guess I wouldn't be happy if all of a sudden they were like. Coral tragedy. If you look what happened, if you look what happened with Garth Brooks, who is Chris Gaines? Who is he? Really? Who is he?

Really? Yeah. You say he's Garth Brooks, but I don't see Garth Brooks and Chris Gaines on stage at the same time. No, I never. I mean, I've never seen it. Although I think. And you won't see him on stage together because they are not the same man.

Well, I think if you saw them on stage together, it would prove that they're not the same man, just like Andy Kaufman used to do with Tony Clifton. Sort of. But still. Let's go on to another story. What should we do here? What do you? Which ones do you want to talk about?

Do you want to read that email? I do. I want to read this email. I want to talk very quickly about Paul Hellier. Oh, yeah. I just want to acknowledge how many people who sent me and I want to say thank you so much to the people that reached out to me to make sure I knew that Paul Hellier was doing a massive Reddit AMA on and on Reddit.

And it was, it is wonderful. And I will just, you could just look this up if you're, if you're at all interested in this topic, it is fun, it is ookie spooky. So the name of the Reddit AMA, it's great. Here's a little succinct intro to Paul Hellier. Hi, I am a 95 year old former Canadian Minister of Defense and Transport Minister. I want to discuss my experience with the ball slash deep state, global warming, politics and extraterrestrials ask me anything.

So he was an associate. I'm a Canadian entrepreneur, politician, writer, commentator. He's held a long and varied career. He's the longest serving current member of the privy council of Canada, just ahead of Prince Philip. Oh, Philip has only been there longer because he was literally glued to the chair. He's had a long political career with notable designations such as transport minister, which is a bus driver with a sash in Canada. But that's, I'm just making fun of this.

I'm just making fun of Canada. And I don't mean to. I love Canada. That's great though. That's fun. Yeah. He's the Minister of National Defense for Canada, but he has gone on, he has gone on to say for many, many years, which is this has been well known to the UFO community that he has

worked with extraterrestrials. He has experienced with extraterrestrials. He met a one of the eight various species of extraterrestrials that he says the Canadian US government and Russian government have all worked with. And he says that they came, they came to him to say what a good job he's doing. What really? It would be like we've gone through the data here. We've been looking through your career profile.

You are doing wonderful. Like it's like it's a company annual, like how are you doing checklist event? He got a progress report from an alien, which actually means quite a bit. Okay. Because if you're coming in from the outside, it's like if somebody who was a huge fan of Pod Save America came to us to say, good job. And so this is a, he asked several questions. People ask him several questions.

And appointed, I'm going to say almost disrespectful manner. And then in a Reddit style manner. And then he answers to the best of his abilities. He says a couple of very interesting things. He talks about Valiant Thor, who was a benevolent Venusian. He says he has an IQ of 1200 and he lived in the Pentagon for three or four years. We covered Valiant Thor a while ago, not the thorough way we do it now, but I wish I honestly kind of want to go back because Valiant Thor, he is 300 years young.

He is purple as a grape. But he worked hard for this country. And it shows that we should honestly think about our immigrants that come to this country because if they are what makes up this America and what makes America great is the people that come here to try to help us who believe in the American dream, even though they weren't born here. All right. All right.

They shared their technology. They shared technology with the U.S. and Russia. He does believe that there's a gigantic deep state cabal that is controlling zero point energy, which is this technology that was given to us by extraterrestrials that will eliminate the need for fossil fuels. He says that the various arms of this gigantic octopus that's sort of like the Illuminati, the Illuminati, which he calls the Three Sisters, which is the Illuminati, the Bilderberg group, the Council of Foreign Relations and Trilateral Commission.

He talks about various members of the covert ops world working towards trying to keep zero point energy away from the consumer sector. We say that the U.S. has a lease on Mars, and according to Courtney Brown, who is the head of a group called the Farsight Institute, the Martians have at least two colonies on Earth, so they're hanging out. They're here. I could probably pick out a bunch of them. I want to say 60 percent of them are in Los Angeles.

There's many pictures. He says that aliens are very different from us. He talks about their biology a little bit, but it's an interesting little jump down the rabbit hole of all the various arcane, different agendas and lifestyles of the extraterrestrial life that our various governments have colluded with. Check out that AMA. Mr. Hellyer says here, glad you got front row seats, and then he goes on to say, the truth is far more incredible than any science fiction.

Well, I just literally believe that. You know I believe that. He's also been— You know for a fact that I believe that. I know for a fact you believe that, but he has been on this tip for a long time. 95 years old, I think it's safe to say as far as ufologists go, ufologists go. He is like 300 years old because they tend to age more like dogs than like humans. But wow.

If you look at Stan Friedman, he lived a long full life. Honestly, these are men that they are, their curiosity keeps them alive. And I want to say the same thing for the women in ufology that always will live longer than the men. Their curiosity that will keep you alive. That's why you can always find that there's always new ways to come with your butt. There you go. I don't know about all of that, but yes.

But if you look up the Farsight Institute that he cites several times in this Reddit AMA, it's pretty interesting. It's one of my, you know, it's definitely a rabbit hole I really do enjoy. You got Graham Hancock in there, I see several, immediately I see Joe Rogan about three times on this front page. I see they, what they do is that they get a collective of people that can do remote viewing and they investigate various conspiracy theories just from sitting in their apartment. All right.

I love it. Because they use their brains to do the walking and the talking and the seeing and all the work. Just like my father told me, he said, Henry Thomas, never work with your hands. Always work with your mind. Your father was a cop. Yes. Well, that's what he said because he knew I would never hack it as a police officer

or any form of manual labor. And he knew that if I was turned into some sort of work camp, I would die there. Oh, well, I think a lot of people die in work camps. It's sort of a, sort of what is supposed to happen. I know, but any sort of a lot of manual labor, even if I was just a fancy carpenter, I would probably die at work. Of course. Of course.

But he does, but there's a couple of these. They're pretty great. They do an entire project on the aliens and iPados. They do an entire project on the Phoenix lights. They talk about JFK assassination and the remote viewing on that. You just get splattered with pussy juice. Is that right? Just watching it through your mind's eye.

Really? Well, JFK was up to it, man. Well, I know he actually had some problems when it comes to the ladies, not necessarily the best history. What are you talking about? JFK is a problematic history? Yeah. No.

Just a little bit. He's our only Catholic president. I know. Can you believe that? A Catholic person with some, with some issues, and of course we love our Catholics out there. I don't care. Henry was, Henry was, like, Henry wanted to be a priest for crying out loud. Yeah.

I wanted to be a priest until they said they couldn't touch the boobies, but then I found out priests touch the boobies anyway, but it's never, it's never the good right boobies. You know what I mean? It's never the, it's never, what was it that, what was it the, the, the iron birds? Do you remember that, that story my mom used to love this iron birds? What was it called? Well, how would they fly? Priests in love.

Jackie, Jackie just walked into the studio, honestly, and she just answered from behind me. It was called The Thorn Birds, which was a steamy series that my mom had on several marked VHS that was about a priest, bang, and a full grown woman. And I was like, did this, did this, was, was this put in the sci-fi section? Because most of the time you never really hear a priest having many illicit affairs with a busty woman. Well, sometimes that'll happen, then they have to resign, and a lot of nuns have tales

about that, but very interesting. So there we go, Mr. Hellyer out there, 95 years old, sticking, sticking to his guns, and sticking by his previous statements. And you know, he used to be ridiculed, but it does seem as if now, because of the internet, he has found a community that is, you know, more, maybe mentally available for him. He's one of us. He's one of you. Yes.

He is one of us. And I'm really, really excited that he gets to go to his grave with a clear conscience. Fly from your grave. Fly from your grave. All right. Well, now it's time for a story more up my alley. And this story, I'm going to tell you, this is really sad before, before we even get into this, you know, if you got small kids in the car, earmuffs, two beloved therapy pigs,

they were found beaten to death in Kentucky. Oh, the pig. Now if the term tenderized, no, it's beaten to death. These are therapy pigs. These aren't foodie, foodie, eatie pigs. Now these are the pigs you can sit and talk to, and then they grunt advice. No, they don't. No, it's so you pet.

You can. Oh, they're not therapist pigs. No, they're therapy pigs. So do they massage you? Like do you lay on the ground and the pigs give you little massages? They could. Yeah, they could do that. It's about little happy endings.

No, they don't. They don't have hands. Yeah, they could suck the dick. No. No, these are dead pigs and they're therapy pigs. The pigs' names were Pyg, Pygrock, Pigrock, Pigrock, it's P-Y-G-R-O-W-K. I'm going to go with Pigrock and P-Y-G-R-O-W-K. No, P-Y-G-R-A-W-K, Pigrock and Honey, Pigrock and Honey.

They were used as therapy pigs in nursing homes in hospitals. Mr. Zabrowski. Honestly, that would fright me if I was a 95-year-old man and you get two huge pigs running through the fucking hospital. What is wrong? What is this? Robert Pickton's house? Oh my goodness, Robert Pickton.

He wouldn't have therapy pigs. He had 80-80 good time pigs. But pigs eat human flesh. They can. They can also help soothe a soul. A Kentucky woman is on the hunt for a sadistic killer after she says her two beloved therapy pigs were brutally murdered. This woman's name.

It's Sonny Howell. She went to an anniversary dinner with her husband last week, leaving her in her guard down. No, she was having a nice dinner, and I don't know if they ate pork or not, I hope not. She left her three pigs at home, Pigrock, Honey and Gypsy. They see the house? They were locked in a shed. But when she returned, she discovered the shed's door latches had been unlocked and

Pigrock and Honey were dead. We realized, this is according to her, she says, we realized her eye socket had been smashed and she had blood coming out of her ear. It looked like he had been bludgeoned with something, maybe a sledgehammer. Gypsy was unharmed but suffered some slight bruising and remains in a funk without her fellow pot bellies. This is according to Sonny. She says she stays depressed when she's out there by herself.

She hides underneath the house sometimes. So there were three pigs, two, all three therapy pigs, and this pig, this piggy, lost both of its best friends, Pigrock and Honey. This story, Gypsy, I feel you Gypsy, I feel you. I will say this, I think it's completely inappropriate to name a pig after a racial slur. No, it's, it's a pig, or a stripper, I mean it's more fun if it's a stripper, honestly from like Gypsy Rose, it'll be kind of fun. You're putting on your, you're putting on a politically correct cap?

Do you, you're going to do that? Do you think that's appropriate? I just, it's fun to be an antagonist. I think it's just fun to make everyone upset, but when it comes to this story, honestly it is very shocking. It's sad. Where does it take place? This takes place, let me see here, this is, because Kansas City just had that hope because

Kansas City had the three mutilated horses where it's like, it was the one story that we covered where the mutilated and dissected horse was left in a field and the family was super upset because it was their pet horse and then two more horses have since been found. Yep, this is, it's a, it's a total, it is, it's an epidemic. This happens, this is in Kentucky, this is in Kentucky, so. But they weren't even, that's the one thing, how big are these pigs? These are pot bellies, so they're young, so according to Susan,

Oh, that's sad though, because you can't even get good meat off of them. No, they, they, it was mean what these people did. According to Sonny, pig rock and honey were fixtures within the community and were frequently used as therapy pigs in hospitals and stuff like that. And she said, these pigs were here to love people and to be loved. And that was their only job, to be loved. And she filed a police report and she said that she's already raised $1,300 as an, as a reward for anyone with any information leading to the arrest of the people or person that

did this heinous attack and she says, if it's not just one person doing this, then we have a several sick, sadistic people out there. Well, the way, alright, two things that, that maybe come to mind. Number one, maybe these pigs were making a lot of noise. They were not their pigs. Pigs make a lot of noise. But pot bellies are just, you know, but they all go like, it's cute. Sometimes.

Yeah, it's cute. You were saying it's cute. And which is true. I'm just like putting my detective magazine, Henry Zabrowski, capture, right? So it's either pigs are making a lot of noise, maybe at night, maybe something's happening, right? Maybe, um, maybe they're fucking. They're not.

Or maybe they are. I don't know. Whatever they're doing. Pigs are, pigs are maybe making a lot of racket. It is some sort of bitter neighbor that is either going through some form of loss or they got like kidney stones, like one of those things where, where the noise of the pigs exacerbated a previous psychological problem for that neighbor. The neighbor has come in and decided the pigs are the problem and he's eliminated the pigs.

Right? Okay. That's a possible example. So you think, okay, you've, we're going to call you hemorrhoid Henry for this sentence. Sure. Because you've had hemorrhoids. You've sat on it and it hurts. Your butt sucks.

So at any point during that experience, we're like, better go bludgeon some pigs to death. So to make my butt feel better. I am truly trying to work on my, what I like to call my peaks of rage, right? I'm trying to work on them. I'm trying to soothe them. I'm trying to bring them down from a McKinley to like, uh, like just a little, like a speed bump. Okay.

Right. But sometimes I can imagine if I'm up at night, my asshole is bleeding and pig noises are keeping me away while I wouldn't do that because my wife would divorce me. Yeah. I do then do believe I would fancy the idea of going over there. I would think about in a pleasurable way, going and massacring the sense, the, the, the source of my discomfort, right? They were keeping me awake at night.

Of course it's not right. No. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying I'm crawling inside the head of this person that could also possibly be me. It sounds to me like you need a therapy pig. That's what you need. It seems like, okay.

I'm so afraid. I already have it there. I got Wendy. Wendy's my little therapy piggy. She's got a piggy, like a little pink belly. She gets on her back and I scratch her little piggy belly and I call her piggy belly. If you go to my Instagram, BenKissleOne, I have some, uh, premium footage of, of Puffin as well.

Uh, Oinkine, which is quite cute. But let me- So, all right, but listen. Or, right? So it's some form of disgruntled neighbor, or it is truly a troll-like person who hates all happiness. And I'm going to label that a 25 to 35 year old white man in the neighborhood that is who, he just got done leaving us a one star on iTunes, being like, uh, the audio was off

in episode 335. And then he was trolling the neighborhood looking for cigarette butts on the street and eating old food he found and on the street just because it stank. Not because it's good or because he's homeless. He's got a home and he's got a fucking job somehow. And then he went to just eliminate a source of joy for somebody because he couldn't help. He looked at the pigs and smiled once and he felt so sad that he couldn't even allow himself to feel that amount of happiness in his day to day life.

So then he took it out on the pigs. All right. A labyrinth, elaborate tale that you've spun in defense of these pig-tellers. Let me just say with how- What are you talking about, Kissel? I am literally investigating this. You're investigating. I am picking up who would be-

Well, I would say 55 to 65, someone who has farm experience, someone who obviously loves bacon, someone who doesn't have any sort of emotional attachment to the love of a pig. This is rage. If you're killing an animal without then either using it for its meat or stealing it, this is a rage-based incident. This is somebody who looked at them as a source of happiness and wanted to destroy it for the people. Absolutely.

So perhaps this is of a larger issue within the community and within the neighbors. Check out your neighbors. Ms. Howell finishes up. She says, we never expected to be put in this position that we are in now. We never expected to lose our babies like this. We never knew we could feel such an array of emotions all at once. I'm going to be focusing on our family gypsy and I intend to get back into my normal routine as soon as possible.

She finishes saying, we do not want the negativity to change how we are and who we are. Yes, we are hurt, angry, sad, lost, and a number of other emotions. We still have to continue on with our day to day. Well, I would also be incredibly shocked if it turns out that they were in fact killed the pigs for publicity. Oh my god, you are just the worst detective on earth. Pig rocking, honey. No, I am just a truly objective detective.

Okay. Well, I think, Henry, I think we're already at the point in the show. You know what this show, you know what it does? Unlike pigs, it flies. It flies right by. It really does. It really does. That's a very good segue.

Thank you. You know what we didn't even get to talk about, which we should bring up if you want to go research it on your own. But we'll talk about it next week too, Niels Högel, the German nurse convicted of killing 85 people. Yes. And they said that the reason why he did it was that he was trying to become a hero. Like his goal was that he'd bring them to death and then save them for his own weird

shit. But we'll talk about this next week. Yeah, so that would make him a missionary killer? We should talk about this with Marcus. Okay, yeah. So, when we talk about, because I want to talk about Harold Shipman too, I really want to get into Dr. Zukill. Absolutely.

It's a very specific genre. Yeah. Like, I don't know why it's a very specific type of person because it's about subverting a power role for some reason, but it's about to get more power because this whole thing was to make him look like a hero for saving people that were flatlining, which is very interesting. So, be sure to tune in next week and we'll do a deeper dive into nurses and just doctors that kill.

And again, side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. If you have any insight into why they do it, what the power structure is there, what's the fascination, please hit us up. All right. Well, just lastly, hero of the week, a true hero. Recordings of number stations. A college student uses the Snapchat gender swap filter to inspire a police sting. So this dude, he's a 20 year old.

His name is Ethan, he made himself look like a girl with that with the face swap that everyone knows. And very successful. Very beautiful. He went by the name Esther and he posed as a 16 year old. So one man messaged the 16 year old apparently looking to quote hook up and this is according to Ethan. He says, I believe he messaged me or this is what the, this is what the dude said.

He said, are you down to have some fun tonight, which I don't, I don't know. So Ethan said he messaged the man for about 12 hours before moving the conversation over to kick, which I guess is another platform, a popular kick is a kick is weird. Kick is another very strange. It's kind of like WhatsApp. It's an anonymous way of speaking to each other and sitting titty pics. Oh, I see. So Tinder requires users to be 18.

So Esther's fake profile initially said 19, but once on kick, Ethan posed and as Esther told the man, Oh, I'm only 16. So screenshots of the conversation obtained by the outlet show the man told Esther that her age might be an issue before explaining, you won't even send any pics of you. And the older man said, I promise I won't show anybody. And this is according to San Jose police sergeant Enrique Garcia. He says whether or not the person is 16 is irrelevant. If the suspect believes it's a 16 year old on the other end of the suspect should have

terminated that conversation specifically when it talks about engaging in sexual activity. The tip reportedly led to the arrest of a 40 year old dude named Robert Davies. But now this is kind of a kicker here. This dude's a police officer. So you think he would know he would know that he is getting catfished. But indeed he was not. So Davies was arrested on suspicion of contacting a minor to commit a felony, which is a felony in itself.

So this is according to San Mateo police officer Susan Mannhammer. This alleged conduct, if true, is in no way a reflection of all that we stand for as a department and is an affront to the tenants of our department and our profession as a whole. So this guy, now this is actually kind of a larger conversation because it is, this is the future Chris Hansen, I guess. Well, I guess so. But I also feel like on some, there's two ways.

I look at this where it's either, it is a really interesting story. Maybe this is sort of, but there's also two ways, sort of like the heritage websites and the way they are using that information to help bust criminals, which is weird. It's again, it's like, what, on what level are we violating privacy? Right. Snapchat, this does feel like a giant commercial for Snapchat. So that's the other thing. It does feel like they get something out of this by saying, no, look, see, it's useful

too. So they're super happy about it. It is very, very intense. They are figuring out ways. All of this is also very deep. This is fueling the deep fake video, Chris. Oh, absolutely. Well, that's very real.

All of this is making it so eventually we will not be able to tell the difference between what is real and fake. And for me, the Philip K. Dick side of me says that's fucking awesome. But then Henry's a browse. He says that's going to make shit really, really iffy. Absolutely. In the future. Luckily for me, I've already said all the horrible things I'm going to say.

So it's already like I'm already in I'm hiding in plain sight. Well, don't forget we have to record again next week. But I would say this is interesting. Now this is just kind of an extension of what going back to catch a predator. You know, the law enforcement has been doing this for a long time on chat rooms being like, I'm 14 years old and they get the chats and yeah, exactly. So this is really just that 2.0. But it is it is a this is definitely a new story that could have only been created.

So three months ago, this is just like this is brand new ground. So I think it's interesting. But either way, we're talking about this. We are in our we're in a style of dystopia, yeah, we're in a style of dystopia right now. It's very, very interesting. But Ethan, you are the hero of the week for busting this cop who obviously intended to have sex with a minor.

And yeah, anybody who wants to make lick, lick with the miners got to go to jail, no matter how we get him. So yeah, I mean, so he don't make lick, lick. Yeah, you got it. Don't make lick, lick. I don't think it's called making lick, like in the court of law. I mean, I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a cop.

You can tell, you know, all right. We didn't get a time this week to go through the emails that we have ready to read next week. I have some very exciting shit. Yes. I think you're going to be very, very interested. Absolutely. And of course, we'll, yeah, I mean, the stories are what we call endless.

So we are endless. Yes. And again, if you want to, if you want to send a story, it's side stories, LBO TL at gmail.com and it's, uh, yeah, you know, find us, you can always find us on Instagram and stuff. You know where to find us. We're around on the Google. You live your life, not one week at a time, not one month at a time.

You have to live your life one day at a time because that's all we got. All right. Because tomorrow, tomorrow is tomorrow with two in front of it. You know what that's going to happen. You know what's going to happen tomorrow. What's even a morrow? You know what I mean? What is is?

What is the word is? That's what Bill Clinton asked. Yeah. He also asked, where do I put the cigar? You remember that man? We laugh like your J Leno in 1995. Bring out the dancing. That's what I say.

The club. You can't even hear my, you can't properly see my J Leno impersonation because it just involves me shaking my head. Right. Um, and love, there it is. That's the only four letter word you're allowed to say, uh, at the DMV. There you go. All right everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. We hope you have a wonderful week. And yeah, make sure to tune in to all the shows here on the LPN Network.

Hail yourselves everyone. Talk to you soon. Magustalations. Hail me, triple L. Bye-bye. All right. Hey, what's up everyone? I am Ben Kissel and I'm with Marcus Parks. Hi, Ben. We're going to talk to you a little bit about Abe Lincoln's top hat. It's the political show that Marcus and I do. It's a lot of fun. If you want to get up to date on the weekly news of politics, check out the show. You know, I think you'll like it. I think you'll like it. I think you'll like it. We're reasonable. We're reasonable people. We're fine people. We're fine people. So that's good. So check it out because there is a lot to unpack and hopefully it helps you get through your week. So hail yourselves everyone. Thanks for listening.

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