Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Butt-Sniffer Strikes Again

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Henry & Eddie are back from vacation with updates on Keefe D and Lindsay Clancy before diving into the return of the Burbank Butt-Sniffer, the deeply troubling Wheel of Fortune announcer scandal, and a possible snuff-tape serial killer uncovered in Philadelphia. Plus, Henry faces down Dublin’s pint-sized scumbags, the tragic tale of Hee-Haw the donkey, and a Listener Mail encounter with the Glimmer Man. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Man, back from vacation, and we are rusty.

That's right. Yeah, baby. I'm barely awake. You know, it's nice that when we come to work, first of all, everyone laughs. Yes. everybody applauds and nobody gets angry. No one ever gets upset. And the thing, the why will you do this is for the laughter.

And all I ever, because that's all I hear everywhere I go. It's just everywhere I go. I do it for the cassettes. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I like to, you know, I keep getting, like, you know, these nuggets cassettes cassettes don't buy themselves. They don't. They takes a fat man.

It takes a fat man to find them. be like, are you going to go in there? And we didn't know when we talked about the Nuggets compilations that No Dogs in Space had just put out an entire special about the Nuggets compilations. And I find it interesting because they're decidedly not unc. Yeah. And we are. Exactly. Well, Ken is kind of unc a little bit.

Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, Marcus is like, oh, no, it's cool. It's like, no, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. I like them, but it's not cool. It's cool.

I wouldn't call it cool. It's cool. to us. To us, yes. Not to children. Not to anybody. No, you know who they like? Even normal people that are our age should not like can't. You're right. You know who, you know what they like though?

We love DeForvitt and Lindsay Clancy. That's what we're sticking up for today. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the ever-present, ever listening, Ed Larson. Hello? Listening, learning, growing,

Changing. I did. I went to an aquarium and a zoo. Oh, and what did you get the a la carte menu or do you do the chef's choice? You know, it's really, I forgot like that panda is best braised, you know, but they said raised to completion to a dog. I hate that. And I fucking hate that. All right?

Because I like panda puppies too. And I don't care what anybody. I'm calling them puppies. I don't care what you call a baby panda, all right? And I will... Pandling, I think. Couldn't give a fucking shit. I want a pameling. Parogi.

All right. If I could get one. Now you're pandering to the Polish. Hey, they're gone. Come on. Hey, why we even do this? So there's a lot of news while we were gone. And a lot, some of it's really important.

And some of it is, like, not that important. So we got, like, obviously some big deal news, right? KVD was arrested for the rest of him found guilty for this. Fuck a death of Tupac. Yeah, sure. Killed Tupac or maybe. We don't know. We know for a fact that he claimed he did.

He has nothing to do with it. He did, and he helped orchestrate it, and he's the last one alive, and so they finally got him. And he's been bragging about it for too long. They used his podcasts against them, which shows that podcasts are useful. Yeah, and he broke books. He wrote books about his own involvement, and then when he finally got to trial, the large part of the trial was him going, it was a character. I'm a funny, I'm a character. I'm not Keefe, D.

If you say that you killed one of the most famous people in the world for 30 years. Kee-D. said that. Eventually, someone's going to say, hey, you know, maybe we should throw you in prison for that. What you white people don't understand is that Dwayne, when he speaks, he's rapping. And when he's rapping, he's Kee-Fee-D. And Kee-Feedee-D's a storyteller and poet. Okay? So that's what he can't be blamed.

He's a gangster. But it's when he's talking. He's rapping in his mind. He wraps like Bob Dylan wraps. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's wrap. Let's talk about it. Let's get into it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's find out what's happening. He's just like, I'm not Keev-D. I'm Dwayne. Yeah. And then it turns out, no, they treated him like Kifi D, didn't they? Now, do you think he's going to be in prison next to Shug? Oh, I hope for Shug's sake.

Dude, how cool would it be if the two of them had a fucking fight in the yard? I think Shug would have somebody else fight for him, because you know, his eyesight's not doing well. He's got a monocle. You should get two. That's the problem. That's cold glasses. It's called glasses. No, Shug is actually can't wait to beat the fucking shit out of Kee, D, and he's going to find him.

I think that Shug is going to find him, and then it's going to be bad for him. But also, Shug Knight's a scary man. He's got that CTE for sure, paid for the Arizona Cardinals. Very much so, and I just think that Shug Knight needs to. I'm going to say right here, he's got to relax. Yeah. And I hope that wherever he is right now, I hope. be smiling, knowing that he got some justice

finally. Yeah, it finally happened for him. Oh, you know, a quick little update considering what I just said. There was a the Concussion Institute came out and said one of four NFL players of CTE. Oh, of course. It's official. We know that now. But now it's official. It's official official and that's just still and everyone, and they're just rocking it. They're just rocking it.

So CTE is just a new fun fashion. Yeah, well, you know, it's a new season. No one seems to care. No one's bringing it up. No one said anything. No one stopped anything. Still got children playing, hitting each other. Yeah, but, you know, in the end, we need the CTE, obviously, because we need to create content for side stories. That's right.

And also, these chicken wings don't sell themselves. If you're going to sit there and you're going to fucking murder millions and millions of chickens every fucking day, just so we can eat chicken wings and watch football, then you've got to keep the football on. Can I also say that, I might correct you on that? What? Chicken wings obviously very much sell themselves. I eat chicken wings

No matter what I'm watching. I can eat chicken wings watching surgery footage. I can eat chicken wings watching fucking presidential addresses. Yeah. I can eat chicken wings. Presidential addresses for sure.

I can eat chicken wings at my mother's funeral. I'm gonna. I'll make sure of it. I'll buy it. That'll be what I did. You couldn't eat chicken wings at your mother's funeral?

I couldn't eat anything. Well, you never know. You're going to be hungry. I bought a bunch of fried chicken for your father's funeral. You did. That's how fat we are. That fucking wank, dude.

That's what I'm saying. The chicken wings are going. They sell themselves. The chicken wing doesn't need the NFL. That's what I'm saying. My mom's funeral was pizza. It was. And fireworks.

We shot him out of her. We stuffed a bunch of Roman candles in her vagina. And we positioned her up and shot him up out of her. And she was so happy to be a boss. She couldn't believe it. No, it was after. Yeah, it was after. So we have some other big update Lindsay Clancy trial mistrial

So let's move on to the deforvid story We're gonna move on over to before we move on I just think The one statement I want to say about the Lindsay Clancy trial is it's obviously a fucking disaster It is every way you shake it every single way But now there will be a lot more studies done on postpartum psychosis and that's a good thing That is the brighter side we at least hope that is to be true but we shall see, won't we? Because they are going to go out, they're going to do some form of retrial. I'm hoping that there is more talk about postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis in the

news and more research done and they better do it. Why not? Why wouldn't they do it? Because they don't care about what himself. Yes, city. They don't like a little ladies. They don't really care but the ladies. But you know, when it comes down to it, I wish her well. So now we, DeFordid is out of a lawyer. He's got no lawyers. Yeah. Devorvid is absolutely fucked. He's so, like, man, he couldn't be more fucked. DeForvid is going to, he has to play. Dude, some fucking private public defenders, like, what do I got to do?

Is it David? Now, let me ask you this question. If your name is David, why don't you spell it, David? All right, now, do you want me to call you David or do you want me to call you Dave? Oh, man. You go by Dave? You go by Dave? Little Davy.

Can I go to little Dave? The problem with DeFordid is he's got no one to roll over on. No, he's got no, because he did it. Yeah. Because he did it and he's going to go to fucking jail for it. He's going to very much go to jail. He's going to be sitting, oh my God. Him, Keefei, Shug's going to produce DeFourvid's new album from jail.

Kee Fee D is going to come. He's going to do his verse. It's going to be fucking awesome. That's going to be amazing. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Do it.

Didn't do it. It's like they're all singing. All right. Kelly comes in. Immediately just going, pay, pay. Ain't a crime. Pay, pay. Ain't no crime.

It comes from God. It's a God liquid. This is the after, after, after, after, after party. I can't wait. I can't wait for this album and it's going to be really, really good. You know who defore of it needs? Who? Little scroats.

All right. So this is something you briefly told me about. Tell me about the Little Strokes. I want to bring this up because... We were on vacation. We were on vacation. I took my mother to Ireland. All right, because that was the whole thing.

Your good son. I'm a good son. You're a good son. You did it. And she begged. She was always like, okay, that was her whole thing, is that... She didn't beg. She did it in a fun, Italian, Polish way of saying,

I guess I'll die before going to Europe. And so what we did was is we got her to Europe. That's amazing. You know, so we got her to Europe. We went to Dublin. and what I discovered in Dublin is that there's something happening. And I want to hear from our Irish listeners, side stories L-P-O-T-L-T-L at gmail.com.

I want to hear your stories because I experience firsthand the new phenomenon that's happening in Dublin called either Lil Scumbags or Scroats. They were also called to me, which is packs of boys, like 11 to 12 years old, attacking people on the street. Well, a group of 12-year-old boys stabbed a woman to death the week before that we arrived there. Oh, my God.

They stabbed a woman to death. Jesus. And then Natalie and I were walking, and out of nowhere, we got straight up surrounded by children. We did a little pub tour. We left our family so we can have an adult time. So we went to go drink somewhere. And we were surrounded by children. And the first thing that did was going, she's with you for your money.

she's with you for your money like literally bullying yeah no they're trying to get you to fight them so you can go to jail and they won't jump on you and beat the fucking piss out of you yeah I know if it takes like 10 12 year olds to come me to get me

it's like Jim Brown at the end of Mars attacks yes you have to overcome them all well he won that fight he did I would also talk but I asked fellow like people in Ireland at the time when we were in Dublin I was asking people like what do you do about the little scumbags and they're like there's a time on

way of handling a little scumback. You go, get out of here, you fucking prick. I was like, that's it. They're like, yeah. You tell them to get the fuck out of there. You call them a prick. You call them and they said a bunch of other words. Yeah.

So you and Natalie, you're out, you escape from the family. Yes. You're having a nice night. You're dressed like you and Natalie dressed. I imagine she looked great and you had some blouse on. I looked normal. Yeah, oh, you did. Yeah, I just a button-down shirt on.

A button-down shirt, but it was big and flowy. Yeah, it was normal. There's nothing available in Dublin. No, not from my, not when I wear. No, no, no, no, no. No, everything has to be dismal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You are clearly from out of town.

Oh, very much so. Oh, I'm a Los Angeles human being now everywhere I go. And you famously have a short temper. You know, your doctor has said so. Now, did, oh. How did you deal in this situation? Were you like, should I fight these kids? Well, at first I was like, I,

I kind of was trying to ignore them. Because it is kind of funny. Oh, no, I laughed. Then I laughed. And so they kind of got more involved with me. Like, as I was laughing, they were trying to circle this more. And then Natalie's like, just fucking don't even react. Just don't react.

She's correct. That's not what they want. Because it was, yeah, because like afterwards, truly, I did not have an angry reaction. Because I was like, it's child that's objectively funny. One of those could have been the old lady killer. I know. Oh, I know. But they killed, mostly then when I was asking a young lady that was our bartender,

who was Asian, who had come in from downtown and she said, they really do mostly save their violent attacks for Asian women. Really? Like, oh, interesting, because it took an Asian woman, was stabbed to death. Wow. By a bunch of 12-year-olds. Yeah, it's really intense. Because then I asked the guy, we took a private it stopped over in London, and then

we went to Dublin, and then we went from there. And so when we stopped in London, we did a Jack the Ripper tour. Oh, that's nice. And truly one of my favorite things I have. How romantic. Oh, my God. No, it's for my mother. I was like, we wanted to know, because I want to see where they killed the horse. Yeah, yeah. She was like, so the whores slept here.

How big were the horse? And so, no, we went and we went to Whitechapel and we found a man that would do, because I specifically said is I want to do the walk. I want to walk from every one of the victim points. You could see as far as Jack the

Ripper went, right? So we went all the way through and our lovely guide was a very nice man who kept saying stuff, like, you know, because he was, he said that he was previously a police officer. and he was lovely and he was talking about health because he kept saying

I'm sorry for the neighborhood and we're like it's just Indian people and he was like I'm so sorry you'll have to this is yes this is the more seedyer side of London and it's like it's just

it's just an in people guys fucking chill out I don't know Los Angeles you guys all lost your fucking minds and so he gets out of the car he's like so frightened everyone's so frightened

and so we're driving around and he's taken us through all these through White Chapel and at some point, I just kind of want to ask him, I was like, so with things like those little scroats and scumbags and all the types, a lot of knife crimes, a lot of terrorism happening in the UK and in Ireland, and I wanted to ask like, hey, so it's like, so is cops, like, what do you do with our guns?

He's like, you see, all I need is my baton. I'm the most powerful weapon that a police officer can use, his voice. Oh, yeah. And I was like, what does that mean? He's like, listen. Go away! away. I understand, though.

I do. It does work. People respect. I've yelled at cars and they've stopped. If you get in there good enough, not if they're going to try. Hey! But then I asked him about,

so what do I do if they attack you with a knife? And he's like, always show the underside of your hands, the outside, the top of your hands. Because with this, when I'm moving like this, and he moves his arms and a wax on, wax off. Like, they don't know where I'll go.

And when the knife comes, it'll stop me in the front of my. my hand. I was like, that doesn't do anything. And then he was just like, and then also to avert attack, I entered to my defensive crouch. And so he showed this thing where he puts hands over his head and he gets into a crouch. And then they are forced to only beat upon my back and shoulders and beat upon the forearms and beat upon the top of my head. And I was like, you're talking about giving up. You're admitted. So one time I was surrounded by five ruffians and I ended up. And I ended in Sometimes they don't even think of hitting you in the kidneys.

They can't even imagine. That's unfair. That's unfair play. That's an illegal hit. And so we were like, what are you talking about? And he said he gets into his crouch. And it was like, one time five or six ruffians surrounded me. And as I entered into my defensive crouch, they beat upon my back and my shoulders until they were too tired.

And then they left me alone. It's like you're up on the possum. He's talking about like he won the fight? Yes. I was like, you just crouched. And they beat the shit out of you. And they laughed because they got tired. Oh, boy, that made me laugh.

But, yeah, they don't kill people over there like that. Do you think he would have handled some scroats? Honestly, I think that he would have done with the stern talking to, and he would have made sure they didn't get a lollipop at the barbershop. Yeah. God fucking knows. So my break, I spent the whole thing. I watched all of monsters of God immediately.

And it was so good. I was at dental surgery. and I'm just like, all right, let's fucking, let's monsters I got it up. I'm on pills, let's rock. And it was wonderful. It's a great show. Please watch Monsters to God on HBO.

It's so much fun. But the thing is, I got so excited because they sold most of the animals. A lot of the animals are sold to the San Diego Zoo. Oh, dude, they're also, every zoo is complicit. Every single zoo in America had bought

fucking multiple animals from these smugglers. I had no idea that they just put them in suitcases. And there was nothing they could do about it. Because they sold a lot of them to the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Oh, yeah. If they all touch, if they touch any one of the zoos, they're going to have to go after all of the zoos. And they can't be fucking with that shit. And so they just like let it all go.

They got the one bad guy from the San Diego Zoo. Because San Diego Zoo, they said, took in like 300 animals. Yeah, they did. From this guy. And so they got like that guy and he was arrested and they gave him like, fucking nothing. Like, it is the guy in that first episode. Hank Monk? Yeah, something like that.

With his name? Haltz or something. Hank, whatever it is. He's a fucking piece of shit. When you keep going, he's going to be like the best. Hank Maltz. Yeah, that's his name. He's a fucking piece of shit.

The way they just kill all these reptiles is really sad. Wait until you get to the guy from Malaysia. Oh, God. Yeah, Anson. Yeah, they treat the people real great. I wonder how the fucking reptiles are trees. Dude, this shit, the whole, the whole thing comes down. It even comes back to the cops.

It's a fucking perfectly done story. These guys don't disappoint. Tiger King, Chimp crazy, Monsters of God. They're fucking rock. I guess they all say the same thing that exotic animals not only attract people that want to keep them are obviously nuts. In a way, I do understand the, I know, in our community, we have a lot of snake owners, we have a lot of reptile owners, we have a lot of, like, so there's done responsibly. It's a cool thing. It's awesome.

Yeah. It's just interesting that exotic animals have this sort of, obviously criminals use them as like both bartering chips and as sort of like fun things they have in their house. Like drug lords use them as sort of like fun things they have. We see zoos use them as a ways to put butts in seats. And people are fascinated with seeing these reptiles. And I understand they're beautiful. They're mysterious. They're interesting.

And I had no idea that they could pack so well. Yeah, no, dude. People fucking hide them in all kinds of shit. Some lady got caught a couple of weeks ago hiding two turtles in her bursier. Hot. She was just in a lagoon for too long. Yeah, I mean, they were both like just chewing on her nipples. It was like in loving life.

Oh, man. So when I went to the San Diego Zoo, I'm like, okay, I got to ask about this shit. I got to get to the bottom of this. This is fucking crazy. This is, you know, technically my job. And so I'm walking around the zoo. I take a private tour. You know, I like went and got the special tour.

Oh, yeah. And I started. By the end of the tour, I figured they'd warm up to me, and I'm like, so, like, what about the monsters it got? And they fucking acted like the show didn't exist. Of course. And they had no idea that I was like, I know you really can't talk about it, but there's just still any of those animals.

Because it was 30 years ago. Yeah, yeah, they're all dead now. The guy's been, yeah, I think they're all dead, but some reptiles live forever. If there was any of those turtles, the turtles would have been. But then it's also weird because Hank Malt does take like sort of credit for how many different pythons they quote unquote saved

because they brought some to zoos that successfully bred them, but it still doesn't matter because you've got them illegally. These are the guys who are directly responsible for what's going on in Florida. South Florida being overrun with fucking lizards and snakes and shit like that. The problem is bringing predatory species from other parts in the world to other places that are highly controlled by their own predatory species

and then just letting them go. And also, anything can live in Florida. Anything can. Anything can live there. It's just made for it. It's kind of amazing. But yeah, so big suggestion. Go watch that show.

It's fascinating. It is very depressing. If you were, you know, I will say that. It is very depressing. Oh, no, Natalie was very sad. A lot of dead lizards. A lot of, it made Natalie really sad. It made Julie really sad.

And then by the third episode, she's like, is it ready yet? Is it on? And I was like, ha-ha, I got your fucking ass. Oh my God, dude. At the zoo, I can't believe I forgot to tell you about this. Fucking, dude. I've watched them. So I'm walking around.

We're going to the bonobo cage. Okay. And we're so, well, enclosure. I'm sorry. It's not a cage. And so we're at the bonobo enclosure. And this lady's talking about how smart bonobos are. And then right against the window is like a lady bonobo sitting like this.

While this dude bonobo is just fucking eating her out. Just fucking licking it, licking it. She's like, you know, the bonobos, they say are very advanced species. You say, yeah, yeah, I'm so advanced. I get my pussy eating at work. She's just getting fucking ram. This is my fucking job, you fucking pieces of shit. Quit looking at me.

Fucking quit looking at me. Look, I've got to get my fucking, my gunch fucking lunch. Hey, man, God bless. God bless. They're the one, again, you're going to their home. Yeah, no, no, no. That's her living room. I was a visitor.

You were a visitor. You should have been eating her pussy. You're right. But I didn't pay enough. Yep, that's next. That guy says, oh, he must be a platinum member. Live from your play.

Speaking of platinum members of the local jail, the biggest update this week. Oh, yes. Is that our streets are not safe. And even less so, are women's butts. Kalees Crowder, also known as the Burbank butt sniffer,

struck again. Back on the street. You know, they keep releasing them. They keep fucking releasing them. And this time he went to a marshals. Because the crime isn't intense enough to lock them up. There isn't, they need to, like, write new laws. Something has to be done.

Like, it's one of those things. You're literally now, this is year three of him sniffing butts, okay, against women's wills. It's now national news. Oh, yes, very much so. Oh, yes. He likes to get down on all fours. this thing, he kind of inches slowly towards butts,

sniffs at the butts. He was at the big save this time, it looks like. It was the big save. He's also been at the, at the marshals. They say, I guess he did it at both. Yeah. He's at the marshals. It was also, there was when someone, when it started,

the viral video that got famous from him sniffing butts at a Barnes & Noble, which shows at least he's a reader. Yeah. You know, because a lot of people have been making jokes. due to his appearance. He's very Shrek-like in appearance. He's not fat. He's just got the head.

He's got Shrek's head. He has the same exact Shrek formation. He needs better shoelaces. He looks like... He's always tying his shoes. Well, it's cool. He needs Velcro. He needs Velcro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what it is, is that we've also joked about the fact that he can hear farts. Yeah. From 25 yards, right? He can really hear them. We now know the signs has just come out saying that they believe that women's farts are worse than men's. Yes, there is a report that came out in Vice last year, actually, but it's just getting to us now.

There's scientific findings that women have a stinkier fart than men, which I don't believe. That's science. It's across the board is what they're saying. If you look at the medium fart smell of women versus men, women's farts, I would say, are probably worse because they hide them more. They say it's a higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide. Because we let our It starts out slowly throughout the day.

Because, yeah, don't hide it. I fart when I have to fart. I fart. As soon as Henry leaves the office, I'm farting that bitch up. I fart when I awaken. But I also leave the room now. I leave the room to fart in front of my wife. I try to.

I try not to just fart in front of her. If she's like asleep. Oh, yo, no, I check to see if she's asleep. If she's asleep, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back to sleep. Shut up. Go back to sleep. Shut up.

Just the fuck up. Yeah. But yeah, the loud, extremely smells. farts of our women seem to be drawing the butt sniffer out of his cage. I hope he didn't read this study. I know he did. If he wrote the study

now, what do we do? If he wrote the study... If he's a scientist. Oh, then that's he's Mr. Freeze. If he... Yeah, hey, if he's a scientist, he's Mr. Freeze. He's a villain. Because then he's just like, I simply must discover the sauce. I simply

must get to the netherlands. You don't feel like, I must go. Where's the... Yes, they are definitely a poo-poo. I'm searching for the poopoo orb of marshals. The poo-poo orb of marshals

are somewhere deep inside the butt of this woman that is working secure. I was talking to someone about it. They're like, how does he get caught? How do people know that he's sniffing butts? I'm like, it's pretty clear. Like, how?

I'm like, well, it's like, you know, like, in a cartoon, he's like walking into his nose with his fingers up his finger. La la la la. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It was like it's like a pie in a window cell. He's like Yogi Bear. He floats across the marshals. I want to get in your picnic basket. But now it seems that he's being held without bail. They have to. I don't know, dude. They gotta do something.

I don't know. He's the most reoffending dude I've ever seen. He's a registered sex offender. So now every single time he goes in. But the registered sex offender comes from a different thing. It comes from like when he actually like touch somebody. Yeah, he's got other charges also. Yeah, I know.

He does the hole. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. Yeah, he's a bad guy. He's a villain. He's a villain. He's everything awful. He's learning how to break all the rules without fully breaking the rules like the president of the United States. He is like a guy that really knows.

But I don't understand. Like we cover. I show that one video turned out to be more of a butt liquor. See, butt lickers I get. Well, yeah. Yeah. I've been there. To the place.

Butt lickers. It's great. I thought you meant the headspace. I wasn't sure what you were saying. Yeah, I thought you were the headspace. Yeah, I think about licking butts. Yeah, sure. My sacred wife's, right?

And I do that, but that's also different. All right? That's making love. Yeah, that's all, it's a whole, you know. This is sniffing butts, which is, to me, the weirdest one of all. Because I feel like of all of them, of all the crimes, it's easy to get a proxy here. That you could buy women's leggings. You could buy women's underwear.

You can buy soiled things that's, smell like things. I can guarantee this butt sniffer goes around and offers a woman at a laundromat 250 bucks or some underwear. She's just going to give it to him. Yeah, he doesn't have money. But he should work on that. He should work on that. He should get a better job and

become more responsible human being. You're right. You can't monetize sniff and butts. Can we chemically castrate him his nose? We could put a face mask on him. No, can we cut his sense of smell off? No. I think we've got to plug. You're not allowed to. We have to use two, like, the used for hearing

when you put the, for a concert? Yeah. Like a ear thing? We've got to put up his nose. Yeah, nose plugs. Yeah, yeah. He needs a, he needs like a year mandated nose plug. Or, yeah, I think a gland removal. Maybe they could just, like, chop off, like, the scent part. No one needs to happen. It's like some crazy chick needs to be like, oh, you fucking sniffing my butt. She needs to cut it off in the

moment, and she'll be fine. Cut off his own her butt? No, his nose. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no. No. Leaping her. the butt alone. Oh, you like sniffing butts? No, no one will stiff. I don't know. I'll sniff my butt ever again. I'm going to cut off my own butt and you try and stiff that.

No! No! Not your butt! Well, I certainly hope he changes his ways. Also, I'm putting this out there. I don't think there's any chick out there in the world. I'm being sexist.

I don't give a fuck. That can fart. Stinkier than me. I know that for a fact. I don't think. I think any of your bitches can fart like I can. Well, you're talking about the medium. Because, like, I don't think... I don't want to be antagonistic, but fuck that shit. But I don't think my farts smell nearly as bad as your farts.

No, mine are special. Yeah. No, there's something dying in me. Yeah. It's your hope. It's your dreams. A little bit about it. But that's the most important criminal of the week.

Yeah. You know, and he, except for this next criminal, which I am just like, this is one of those, like, side story stories that kind of got handed to us on a fucking big old platter. Yeah. I think that we should do first announcing a game show. It's a single easiest job on the face of the planet. It really, it's like you have to say 40 words a week? It is.

To get that job. You have to be such a useless human being except for speaking. I have no idea how you just get this job. Never mind, keep this job. And have this job be your only job for 20 years. Yeah. Right? We now know that the guy that was the Wheel of Fortune announcer.

Jim Thornton. Do I name Jim Thornton. Never heard of this guy before, right? No, why would you? Who the fucking idiot was before? How would you know who the fuck the announcer is for Wheel of Fortune? No, unless you're... Don Pardo's the only famous announcer.

I will say, no, because they used to have a good one, and Price is Right used to have a good one. What's his name? I forgot what his name was. They used to have a good one. Exactly. And then this guy, exactly. Jim Thornton, if you're like... unemployed or if you're

stationed in the military or if you're in an insane asylum you might know Wheel of Fortune really well. You might be a huge fan of these guys, right? Yeah, because Howard Cosell... These guys don't count. These are like sports announcers. Those are... Mark Albert, yeah. Game show

announcers. Yeah, game show announcers. Yeah, not TV. Because TV, yeah, because that's, you know, you can't put this guy in a Howard Cosell, you know, yeah, Rod Roddy. That's the guy who is... That's who is the good guy. Rod Roddy's awesome. Come on down.

Like that guy, right? No one looking to Rod Roddy. Just let me keep liking Rod Roddy. Please. He's got me with a name like Rod Roddy. He's probably got some skeletons. Let's face it. Well, he's dead now.

So I think that those skeletons are good and covered and up in dirt. Rod Rod Roddy's like dick-dicky. Yep. Yeah. No, it's bad. It gives you a bad edge. So what Jim Thornton do? He was on a plane.

In his Wheel of Fortune swag jacket on a chat, in a chat room called Lifeline.net. It's like it's lifeline. It's some ridiculous like Lifeline. Okay. In which they were discussing, apparently it was a website in a chat room completely filled with pedophiles, fantasizing about all the various things that they want to do to boys and girls. and he was in that chat for 57 minutes on a plane in coach. Is it in coach?

Or at least maybe Delta, or comfort? It's American. Does American have comfort? They do. They do. It's called like, I want to say they call like Abu Ghraib. They have a whole thing that they, there's a whole section where it's like more room. It's called like, uh, it's called Fatty Zone, the Fatty Zone.

And so I'm pretty certain. I love the Fatty Zone. And so he was just on this chat bot, right? So this chat room, 57 minutes chatting. He said he did nothing wrong. He gets off the plane. Why do you do nothing wrong? So, well, he's saying in his mind, he was a pedophile chat group.

Yes. So, but what Jim Thornton claimed he did regularly is that he would go to a thing called chat.988 lifeline.org, entirely different website. They don't sponsor the show. No, not anymore. because I just keep calling for suicides. And that's like, that's just again, that's just on me. That's my personal life. Okay?

I do the opposite of Jim Thornton, where Jim Thornton said that he had a family member commit suicide. So he would go into these chat rooms for suicide people that were having suicide ideation and he talked them down. And that was a little thing that he did every day. It was like a part of his life that he would do. That's so much better than 9-8. Oh, yes, Sedy. And because like, again, I'm always going there. and say, take more with you.

You know, like, get in there. If I could go get more, get more. Oh, why don't you do that on a boat? Oh, why don't you do that in an elevator filled with people? You know, like stuff like that. But he said that's what he would normally spend his days. And he smoked that. Noble.

It's noble. It's something a good man does. Definitely. And so he told the police, all of this is a big old misunderstanding. Nobody knows what they're talking about. They just saw my screen and they just decided that I, was talking nasty, right? And the police, I guess

they took him at his word because they couldn't figure out probably in that moment, how to do it. You need a warrant to get the laptop. So you need it first, you have to do a lot of different stuff before you can even get at it to search and all this kind of things. So I'm certain they're like, okay. You don't even know if it's him

because they all have weird screen names. Well, it takes all, you have to set it all up. It's a whole investigation. And so they had to go look at it. They send all the stuff forward to Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune kind of puts them on hold. And they're like, we're going to take a look at our he's immediately fired.

So you're like, okay, so it doesn't look good. See, what's happened is that TMZ, which is legitimately one of the, they're horrific, if not the single best news source on the face of the planet currently. I can't stress enough how much I hate them and how much I rely on them.

It is true. So he came out and he said he insisted that the, so he said lifeline dot chat was not, it's not unlawful. There's no child pornography on the site, and there's no pedophilic content on the site. Except for people talking. Yes. Jim Thornton came out and said, you know, the client, his lawyer came out and said that he's never downloaded or consumed child pornography or child CSAM,

SC Sam, whether on the commercial flight in May or any other time. But the thing was, is, again, is we now have the actual screens that he was fascinating. is a bunch of screens of what he actually said. And we now know that this is to be true. So he, this is, this is like, it's pretty funny in a way. Yeah, his username is Nicholas B77. Yeah, he changed his little name here, right? And so this is the kind of what he said.

Someone was asking him, wait, you're on a plane right now? What if someone sees this? The first thing is we're pretty certain. He goes by the name Nicholas B77. During the dialogue, this is when he, this is from the, this is from the, this is page six, right? So this is where we're at now. This is, so lifeline.

chat is a website which purportedly claims to offer mental health support to individuals with pedophilic thoughts. Now, is this dark web or is this regular web? I have no idea. Okay. It's just regular web. I think you can just go on it, right?

I just typed it and it was just there. Oh, great. Oh, good. You put it in the computer? I had to see what it was. Great. We research. We know, it's fine.

It's fine. I didn't do it. During the dialogue, Rob did it. Fuck you. So here we go. So is the producer. So Nicholas B-77. This is Jim Thornton's account.

He said straight up, he made an innocuous comment and you could see up the top how Golden Corral is quote, Golden Corral is a nice hangout for kids. And I'll tell you, I saw a couple of cute boys and a hot little girl while dining there the day before. And he said, it was an all you can eat, boy fay. So I don't know how this. I guess people are just like, you go, girl.

So someone just goes like, whoa, hey, a second. And out of nowhere, he just wrote, it's crazy, I'm doing Lifeline from the sky. When someone replied, wait, you're on a plane right now? What if someone sees? User Nicholas B-77 wrote back, yes, exactly. What if someone sees a random sequence of lines on a screen?

I love it. I hide the part that says Lifeline. So it's just a few lines. It's a big middle finger to dumb man who takes away every other. other enjoyable activity we see else have. Also, Lifeline is the only thing that isn't incriminating. Yes.

Word-wise in this. Oh, dude. You're hiding the one thing that doesn't matter. Well, it's kind of interesting because the website itself is not illegal, right? It's not illegal. It's just what they talk about. It's a forum. It's a forum.

And so he could do all the stuff. So, Nicholas, so someone just said, I mean, I guess it's not like you're doing anything illegal, L-O-L. Nicholas B-77 responds, wait a second. second, I'll fire up boy moment and start looking at the galleries. He-he-he-he-he-he-he. Now, so he knows a child

porn website by name. Yeah, like, just like by Riffick. He's just, and they're all like, whoa. And someone warned him then, hey, you don't want to be like the guy that got arrested getting off the tube because he had CP as his phone wallpaper. Nicholas B-77

said assuredly, yeah, right? I mean, truly, the fact that I don't do any of that stuff, Makes me say, fuck it. Free speech, baby. Now, you know, it's crazy at one point. He says, Burbank, baby. Well, someone asks where do you live?

And he names Burbank. He knows that's where the golden corral was, where he goes to watch the boy fay. And the butt sniffer. He, like, might have been in the same room as the butt sniffer at some point. Oh, my God. This is like the Joker meeting up with fucking talism.

That's the thing. This is our neighborhood. The butt sniffer is at least going after full-grown women. This is becoming a fucking burbank. Bank podcast. It really is, buddy. It really fucking is. But this guy, he was immediately fired. I just feel like, you know what it is? It's the pride

in his voice. That's what I don't like. I don't like the... He has well, his wife, Sue Thornton, they've been together for 35 years. She's quite the boy fay or so. Oh, she really is quite the boy fay. Jim Thornton said he left that page and he hasn't visited since.

Of course. Well, it's because he says he knew what it was, right? And then his wife, just straight have to say, according to Hart, no, we know, this is his attorney. According to Allison Hart, this is Jim Thornton's wife. He is an active in suicide

prevention advocacy. He was, quote, misdirected to a forum with a similar URL, the forum lifeline.com, by an acquaintance in the suicide prevention space. So he's throwing this on Vanna. When Jim Thornton shares one, it's like

he asks him about this, and this idea, it's like, it's not unlawful the website. No unlawful child porn or other pedophil content. It is just what they talk about and what they love. Yeah. It's what they enjoy. Yeah. That's it.

It's not. So, and we have another situation where it's technically not a crime, I guess. No, I mean, I don't know what it is. It's not great. It seems like it's like an unmoderated, like, chat where they're supposed to, like, help each other. But then it just ends up being a place where they just do bad things together. The reason why it is an unmonerated blank chat like that is so they can. Yeah.

Talk nasty things in it. So it seems to be not not not just seems to not be a child porn website, but it is in fact it is a network. See, I, you know, there is like a community of non-acting pedophiles who like get together and have meetings, which I guess is good. Is that the, oh, they have the one. It's the, what's it, the, the GOP convention. Yeah. And so these guys go, but these are a history. whole, it's very interesting

because it's not even just about non-practicing pedophiles. It's how they get their way towards the stuff. So normally, a lot of of CP and CSAM is shared via WhatsApp messages, but it is literally text to text. And also,

I saw a really fucking inappropriate thing that I didn't understand was that they will give money to a charity and they get all the envelopes from a charity like various like international groups, and then they'll just use the envelopes. Oh.

And put C-SAM in them and mail it. So it looks like material from a charity. Oh, my God. It's very sneaky. They have to be. Not, but not Jim Thornton. No, certainly not sneaky. He's proud about it.

He's proud, and he's out. American Airlines. Yeah, I love the fact that. Use that group Wi-Fi. Boom. You know, at least it shows you you just don't, I don't know, Henry, don't know, buddy.

I don't know, man. I think that he's got to go away. How's the chat room looking, Rob? I'm not in the chat room. He only looked at the one time. I didn't even open the chat. He only looked at one time. I wanted to see if it was still there and it got shut down.

Tim and Jim Thornton had to investigate the website for about 57 minutes in order for them to know. Jim Thornton is a hero. He's a hero. Exactly what happened. to Pete Townsend. It's just what happened to Pete Townsend. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Well, it's because let's just say Pete Townsend,

he's not really on the tip of the tongue of modern pop culture. Who? Exactly. You fuckers. You fucking idiots. You know? Because, like, yeah, I'm not supporting Peter Pete Townsend. I don't even know all the details. He won't be told again.

Yo, he won't. Oh, thought they just lit away in us. I thought the grown men would let away, you know. He only likes to have sex in teenage wastelands. Teenage waistlines. Teenage waistlines. Let's see. What else is happening?

Here we go. All right, now this story is also fucked. Here's another fucked up story. And I want to get your reaction on this story. Oh, I will say also, speaking of, I have been receiving many reactions from people when I've been asking for them, and they've been awesome. When you guys send me reactions, like even a lot of the stuff I learned

through the Lindsay Clancy trial reactions and stuff out of the fact, like, truly, like, thank you. Always send us great stuff. Good stuff. Yeah. All right, this next one is another one of those. So this story came across my desk. It is

not really all the way out there, and I'm not quite certain what's going on, but I want to know if you have any personal connections to this. Oh, okay. This comes out of Philadelphia. A guy by the name of Raymond R.C. Horsch, that was a, I guess he was a pornographer. He made erotic art. He made a lot of sadomasochistic pictures and stuff, which is, again, there's nothing

wrong with it, but it's all like getting to a weird nebulous area. And this guy kind of had a life devoted to kind of like the seedier side of the world. He was arrested several times. He was arrested for drug trafficking. He was arrested for counterfeiting, which to me are just thought. Those are fun crimes. Yeah. You know, but he,

it seems he might have been a multiple murderer, if not a serial killer. So this is a, this story is developing. His son, so he died. So R.C. Horst, the full disclosure, he died in 2025. Okay. He died in his 80s. He died of a pulmonary embolism. And his son, who is legitimately looks like a villain out of a Paul Verhoeven movie,

was arrested, living in this old house that they all shared together in the Kensington area of Philly. And those of you don't know, Kensington's kind of fucked up, right? Kensington's super, it's a rough neighborhood. Yeah. So they kind of worked, I want to say, sort of like, out of the way.

A lot of people didn't even know what was going on in that house. And so this guy was, the son was arrested. What they believe was a lot of different, like, they said weird liquids, weird materials, stuff that they didn't recognize in the house and drugs. Like they had a bunch of weird, like... Do you know why they even, like, went to the house?

It was a call. So there was the... They're scouring the sewers beneath the Philadelphia house, the house that R.C. Horsh died in. Okay. Because they were looking for the... For information on two missing women

that were last heard of connected to this address. Eugene Horse was arrested on the... They said that he collected a trove of hazardous chemicals along with some other evidence. So they basically came and they believed that he was also had drugs in the house. So if I get this correct here, this is still very much developing, of course. But so was he trying to like dispose of the evidence his father left behind?

Essentially, it seemed like he was doing that. And so a note that was found on a drum setup and a threat, there's like a little gallon drum inside the house that said, oh, not like fun drums, like a drum. drum like a Jeffrey Dahmer drum. Jeffrey Dom. That is a fun drum, like that drum. I thought you meant like a fun drum like Pete Townsend's drums. No, that's Keith Boone. He's a guitar. He's next to the drums.

So acting on a motion, according to this note that was found, acting on emotion is where problems occur. But I don't think I told you was the first time it was planned ahead of time. The threat was made before you know who came over. And I already had a two foot zip tie in my pocket and a drum set up.

I had been ready and waiting. And I damn sheer showed no hesitation. And it was fun. So he might have been hiding all of this stuff. So all of this investigation happened. So this is when it started. So Eugene Horsch was fighting with his girlfriend in a, it was overheard in a U.S. At a park.

He was outside of Independence Hall, a park ranger overheard an argument where he was saying, the woman was heard saying, oh, my God, you're going to hurt me. And the guy got involved. checked on them and then law enforcement agencies came, they checked on them and they got, the woman had a fake ID. And so they took the fake ID, or an ID,

they did sort of look like her but didn't. And they looked at it and they realized it was the name of one of the missing women that had been missing for a bunch of years. So gave her the ID because she kind of looked like one of the chicks he killed. Yes. And so she's an insane story. Dude, this story's fucking huge. That's why it's like the very, very beginning of it.

And so she told, police that she had used these idea because she was trying to get away from some other arrest warrants. Obviously, she'd been in a bit of trouble before. Yeah. But she said, I don't know this missing lady, but I'm pretty certain one of those fuckers did something to her. So the cops, she kind of like fled on them. They led, they were led to the felon's house where they found all these weird stuff. So they found like it was 120 pieces of ballistics evidence, narcotics, disturbing unsigned letter. And also there was another talking about like all this weird stuff talking about Ted Bundy, blah, blah, blah.

He was coughed on firearms and drug charges. And so they're still kind of figuring out all this of the chemicals. But Eugene came forward and said, all this other stuff belongs to my fucking dad. Cut two, almost a year later. They now know for a fact that he killed people. Eugene? R.C., the father. So R.C. Horsh, they found what seems to be one of the first recorded actual evidence of a

snuff film in terms of, well, it's a woman being murdered on tape. What makes it a snuff film as if it was sold for profit. Yes. Right? We don't know if he did that or not, because he was doing that. He was doing a lot of hardcore pornography. Did he make it or did he buy it? No, he's in it. He's in it.

Strangling a woman to death. Okay, so he is the co-star. He is the star of it. And so now it's about whether or not he actually sold this stuff and this mystery is just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. They're connecting him right now. It's like, I want to say, as of this listening and what I've read, it's at like three to four bodies. Okay.

And they're looking for evidence of this, and it could be way more. And it could be a literal house of horrors. Yeah, this is going to be a real episode. And the worst part about this guy is that he looks so evil. He looks evil. He looks like a fun bad guy in a movie. I don't know. I hate that he looks kind of like fun.

You know what he does is that he does a disservice to other guys. that look evil, but are really, really nice. Because, like, a lot of the guys that I know are the most evil-looking, craziest-looking motherfuckers on the face of the planet. You know, Lard humongous? Yeah. Truly, the nicest man on the face of the planet.

Love, like, Lard's an incredible artist. Coast of Border him was just his birthday. He's doing a bunch of great stuff. But he's the sweetest, nicest man in the whole world, but he himself is frightening. Yeah. Right. The R.C. Horst does bad for things.

I wear panda shirts. Right. Scared to look, people. Scary to look at. Yes, because maybe the most villainous mugshot I've ever seen, though. It's besides Tammy Hall. But he's cute. He's making a fun, cute, winky-eyed, or is he just deformed?

And I think it's cute. No, he's doing that on purpose. And that was for his drug charging zoo, and he got caught with weed. Oh, okay. Yeah. So he was having fun. He was being cool then. And so he was kind of, he was kind of a fun.

But he did a bunch of horrible stuff. He's also maybe connected to one of his wife went missing. He also had one wife for a long time. They got divorced. Another wife and him, she went missing. So they believe that she's also on the list. This story is just beginning. A brave robber they just caught in Philadelphia.

The guy who had all those fucking weird bodies in this fucking basement. That ain't far from there. No, that guy wasn't in Philly. Yeah, he was. Oh, the guy that we covered. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Philly, you know what it is interesting about all this part of the world is that I love all of these really, I know so many awesome, intense artists and photographers

and people like, and models and stuff that kind of live in this world and are in this very, very part of the world. So, like, I feel bad that these guys are corrupting it because I love weirdos with weird stuff. Weirdos with weird stuff are my favorite people. I'm one. Yeah. So it's like I want to support weirdos with weird stuff. Yeah, but you can't take it to the next level.

I know, but that's, you can't just start making the stuff, guys. No, yeah. You can't make the stuff. Don't, yeah, or don't watch the stuff. There's difference, you know. There's a difference. You know, there's always go watch horror movies. There's another guy over in the, and I want to say it's in Wisconsin that's an ed,

Dean's super fan. He was stalking a woman for 13 years. And eventually he got arrested and they found like all this kind of stuff of his house. He had like, you know, he was obsessed with this woman. They arrested her for stalking. He had a, uh, representative of her on a life size doll, like one of those giant silicone dolls that had had a spike choker on it. And he put a wig that looked just like her. But then he put a picture of her on the wall so he could fuck her while he's looking at the picture of her on the wall. And then he had a piece of, he said it in a jar. He had a piece of John in Gacy's brain, but I think somebody fucking ripped him off. Yeah, someone's stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like people

who sell you like pouches of Jerry Garcia's ashes. I think he's somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he had a bunch of other bad stuff. Man, so this is, I feel like, gonna be a full episode whenever the story finishes. Side stories, L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. Anyone know anything? Send this shit to us. Because I believe I had one friend that did have some tangential relationship to him.

Because we've all done, we've been saying this for years. photographers are never photographers unless they're in magazines what you're talking about a photographer telling you hey come over my house I want to do some art shots Mindy Tucker's a photographer that's what I mean unless you're an actual capital P photographer

if the guy just has an Instagram page he's not you just make sure you got somebody with you make sure you always got somebody with you I've always asked all my model friends about what they do and they all say the greatest deterrent unfortunately is bringing another big fucking horrific man.

Yeah, he's a photographer like my dog's a writer. And guess what? But your dog does essentially write. Yeah, she helps. She does help. I like her. But yeah.

Wow. But we don't even know Eugene could be an accomplice at this point. No fucking idea yet. Right? No idea. It sounds like he mostly...

He had to have known. I think that... It's in his house. I'm going to put it in this way. Throw it out. It sounds like he's the kind of guy that thought it was real cool that his dad murdered a bunch of people.

Seems like it And that he used it as a sort of a flex All I know is Keeping a snuff film Like you get rid of it The moment your father dies Like do you not feel any guilt Having it in your home?

I don't think he knew he had it Oh okay Who knows who fucking knows I think at some level you're just He's so lost in the sauce And whatever drugs he's on And whatever fucking skis he's doing God knows what crimes he's just guilty of

So I think at that point he's like Maybe he even thinks he's so much better than his dad because he never killed anybody. I'd tell you what, this is a good week to buy property in Kensington. Yes, it is, my friend. No, I dig it out also. I was having a conversation. I went with Sina to this Japanese-American cultural, like, moment, and we got fucking hammered, ruined everybody's time. Yeah.

But I was talking to two. How Japanese. Lovely Japanese men. And we were getting really into the idea of, like, you know, all we have to do now is invest in the new climate. change adaptability measures. Yes. That's a new way to make money now is stuff that will lift cities

into the skies and make water nice. Well, that's, you know, that's what Shaq says. You got to find what people are going to need and invest in that. Yep. Dick-Sucking machines. That's why he's such a piece of shit now. Yeah, he's a fucking piece of fucking trip. Live from Northland.

Oh, my God. So, yeah, three people died at Burning Man. There's a foster mom who tried to sell her child for a foster child for a monkey. Listen, you don't sell, you don't buy a monkey, you rent one. Oh, these fucking horrible cops shot he-haw the donkey. We saw

that. These guys, these fucking monsters. You know, they came, they showed up at this property and there were those cute little like petting zoo donkey ran at them and they clipped it in the fucking head. Because that's all they think they know how to do. I just don't understand. It's just a little donkey. Yeah, well, it's be, well, it is a little, it is just a little donkey,

but they, uh, there are some police officers. And I have to make this assumption because with the number of 30 dogs a day in America being shot by the cops, I have to assume that some cops just like killing animals. And I think that they are very scared. Cops are really, really quite scared. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they'll shoot the cutest little thing they can see. They are real jumpy these days. Yeah. Real fucking jumpy. And I think that that's, uh, it's just speaks to how weak a lot of departments have become. Yeah. Because if you can't stand up to a baby donkey. You can't be a cop. You shouldn't be a police officer. It's a petting zoo donkey. If you're that excited and that scared

by a petting zoo little baby donkey, you shouldn't have a gun. Now, I will say, I'm not sticking up for these cops because I hate them and I think they should be put on leave because they shot a cute little donkey named he-ha. But donkeys can be dangerous. If you's name as Adolf Hitler, would it be okay?

No, no, no, no. I still would be the cutest little donkey named Daveoff. Very cute. If he had like a bunch of other donkeys following him that I'd be worried. Yeah, I'm like, oh my God, he's gaining strength. He's their charismatic leader. Now, speaking of

Adolf Hitler in Germany, there was a story of a German donkey that was on the loose, and these people tried to, they stopped and they wanted to get to save the donkey. And so they were like, there was this like 33 year old chick, and she's like, hey, donkey come in my car, come in my car.

And the donkey, like, it actually came into her car and they just beat the shit out of her. Hey, man. This kid bit fucking bit the fuck out of her, kicked her a bunch. Not every donkey's cool. Not every donkey's here. Guess what? Yes.

But I was talking about they don't need a shoot a baby donkey. They certainly don't need to shoot. You really? Because like, how do I say it? You can kick it. Yeah. Just fucking kick it, Ned. I think it was dark too.

So like it came running at them in the dark and they just got scared. Like it's just bullshit, honestly. They shouldn't have been in the pasture. No, they had the hop a fence. Yeah. Yeah. That's the main issue here. Just kick it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next time. You don't have got out late. You got to fill out a bunch of paperwork, you fucking idiots. Or if it's your, if you're at a farm investigating something, knowing that there's animals are around. Yeah, it's a pedig zoo. Unbelievable.

So, we love you, he-ha. We really do. Well, as long as he's not guilty of any crimes. Do we have any new listener mail stings? I do. I have a really good one from a few weeks ago. when Henry asked for a very particular type of a stinger. What was it again? I forget things.

The moment I walk out the room, I forget. I'm not even going to tell you. I'm just going to play it. Oh, I know what this one is. I'm just going to play it and you guys can hear it. All right. Fuck yeah. Hell, that was awesome. Man, I listened to all these listener emails.

Wow. But rock. They're fucking awesome. I'm really enjoying all of it. And it just makes me think that like there's so many talented people out there. Why do certain people get it and others don't? We mean? I mean, that guy.

That was perfectly. That should be on the radio. That's great. Well, because it's about... Submit listener mail to... Oh, MTV's gone. No, it's because it's the Nepo Babies. I should give him credit.

That was Brandon Coyne and the Barbarians from San Diego. Fucking great. Check them out. Check them out. Check them out. Fucking great. Let us know if you're ever in L.A. I'll totally go check out your show.

But I want to hear listener mail live. I want to hear that song live. That was fucking sweet. Man, this is great. Do we have more of them lined up? Should we request a new genre? I love that butt rock man. I got a couple more still in the can here, but you guys can do whatever you want.

Oh, man. Well, I mean, well, maybe I'll give them something to just think about and then they could see what comes back. Yes. I've been listening to a lot of like Hawaiian music. You know, I've been listening to a lot of Hawaiian music, a lot of, you know. Yeah, you did get very nice. I've also done real in the Cal Trader, you know, some vibraphone.

He loves vibrophone, really? I mean, milkie. You're just talking about like that's the hardest music in the world. Yeah, it is pretty hard. So let's see what these people got. There's a vibraphone player out there who listens to this show. Hit me up. I might be interested in having you come on stage with me because that could be fun.

That is cool. Yeah. Vibaphone. Oh, wow. The guy that had the guy that got arrested for a stalking, that's kind of hilarious. His name was Benjamin Larson. Oh, look at that. This is more of us.

All of you, you fucking idiots. E.N or Owen? Owen. Owen. Ah, shit. Those E-Ns, you. really can't trust that much. No.

And the ones with two S's, who-hoo, who. Don't get your fucking good. That's real, that's real sweet. The Sveedish one, yeah. Real sweet. See, I'm not one of them. My father changed his name. I'm supposed to Lyft Shultz.

Yeah, I know. We should take it back, man. Liff Shultz? Change it back to Lyftsholtz? Yeah. If anything, I'll do it to my mom's maiden name, Gorski. That's a good one. That is a good one.

We've used that for years. You can hyphenate it. We use Gorski is our favorite. That's like our favorite fake name. Yeah. Lipschit Gorski. Liv Schultz, you prick. Got him, good.

Right, let me read some of these. So there we go. This is one of those I just wanted to hear about. It asked about this a while ago, and I want to see what this says. Okay. About turning Jewish in jail. Oh, Lyft Schultz. I was in county jail after a night of disorderly drunken conduct

and soon realized that without bail money, I would be sitting there for a little while. One of the few things you can do in county jail is make your time they're a little more comfortable is to request a special diet. Oh. Usually vegetarian, since there is absolutely no telling what they pass off as meat in these institutions. However, the kosher diet seem to have pretty much all that I needed.

Hard bowl eggs for raw protein, fresh vegetables, tortillas passed off as flatbread. Still not fine dining, but still better than the other slot. Edible. Yeah. Yeah. However, the only catch is if they claim some sort of belief system and make a good reason or staff would deny your diet request. Because, you know, they do this.

Same thing, this is a hack, too, for planes. If you want a fresh meal, get a kosher meal. Mm. So I'm a white boy. I don't know enough about Muslims, except that they really do click up and are just as much of a presence as whites, blacks, or Mexicans, you know. Typically in jail, you just stay with your own color, unless you have a reason to not to, or like Henry says, you're funny.

See, I think I'm hilarious. So when I had to tell the jail staff, I was Jewish, I thought it would be a a good punchline for a few jokes. So you pretty much everybody in the tier thought I was Jewish. Not really a problem. There was only one other Jewish guy and he was a strung out drug dealer. That is until he got into a fist fight and thrown into the hole. Probably was because of cards.

Now the hole is just a long corridor of two-man cells and you have to stay there until your discipline is up, usually about a week or so. The shoe. Yes. What's totally crazy, though, is that this is the very start of the conflict in Gaza. Right after the first bombings, and literally nobody would shut up about it. When I got sent in the hole, they put me, the one Jew, with another guy who happened to be the only Muslim currently in the hole. He was also a serial killer.

He showed me his paperwork as his customer. And yep, surely enough, 14 murder charges, three while in custody. He had recently been paroled a couple of years prior, but had come back on a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who was almost a quarter of his age. Really nice guy, though. The most considerate cellmate I've ever had. Generous, affable, and love to have friendly, conversations over back-to-back games of backgammon. Overall, zero animosity between Jews and other races in prison because there really isn't any

presence. Sorry for being so long-winded, but I hope this helps. We obviously didn't talk to any fucking Nazis. Yeah, well, you know, that's really good. I think he kept this to the other side. Oh, yeah. You know, I love ground news. It's a good, it's a good website. And they just released something a couple hours ago. It says they have proof that the UAE president told Netanyahu 10 days before the attack that it was going to happen. No way. Yeah.

And that cools that. That's not a problem. No problem, sir. Right? We're just going to move on. We're going to move on. My encounter with the shimmer man. Ooh.

I've had a few experiences in life that I can't explain. I also tend to stir things up. Sometimes it seems in certain settings I go. I love the world you all discuss, the occult, cryptids, UFOs. But at heart, I'm a lifelong. skeptic, really. I've always questioned these things, as I clearly hear you all do all the time, but a handful of experiences just seem to lack one. Like this following story. My earliest one,

I do believe. I was about six, seven years old. I remember you all talking about a certain sighting people have reported that I believe I witnessed on this day. Henry called it a, the shimmer man, or the glimmer man. It resembles predator when he's in a cloak form. You can sort of see it, but it's blurred or fuzzy, like someone not fully in focus, or maybe in this plan or in this dimension. Like I said, I was a child. I was at my great-grandfather's house, a house that has a long history. We have found records there that the land was once shared by our relatives, along with the freed black family that lived across the field. We didn't own them. They were free people, but they couldn't own land due to the laws at the time. We seemed to

share the land and the crop yield with one another. Another part of the land, just behind the my great-grandfather used to use as his furniture workshop, which is what he made. It used to be a stagecoach shop and a post office on the old great wagon road that ran through North Carolina. This particular stretch was out in the Moravian Bohemian immigrant settled area of Forsythe County, just outside Winston-Salem. So it was summer. I was a child playing outside.

And between the house and the old stagecoach house slash workshop, I saw a figure. It was the outline, like I mentioned. and above, just as others have described. I watched it move towards the cellar door on the back of the house. It looked right at me and stopped. That's when I had a feeling takeover me like it was talking to me, asking if I was coming as I walked towards it. It started moving again, through the door. I opened them and I looked down the steps to catch the faint movement still of the figure and what direction that it went. So I followed. Even thinking of how curious I was and how I just followed it, makes the hair stand up on my arms and neck, just thinking and writing this.

I've never told the story to anyone, really. But my partner, when you guys talked about this, I brushed it off. Like, I may even try to convince myself that it wasn't the same. But it kept eating at me. So I go through this dark area of the basement. And now I can see a ways ahead now, maybe 20 feet. In one area, some light comes in from a window, and I see a figure crouch at a hole in the wall, and then just like fade, blur away.

I go to the hole. There are little tiny kittens in there. Again, I have this weird feeling of being talking to telepathically comes over me, and this feeling voice something communicated like this to me. See, I told you that you'd like what I had to show you kind of feeling. So hard to have fully explained. Maybe it isn't. My parents let me keep one of the kittens once they were old enough to be weaned and leave their mom.

And it was delicious. Yum, yum, yum. And when we sprouted it, it definitely, I can't believe it sprouted. If we planted that? It was amazing. The kitten I picked was the smallest one. She was my childhood cat and seriously from six or seven year old to me going off at college and maybe 20, 21 years old, she was there for it all.

She was a sweet cat. I didn't tell anybody how I found those kittens that day except my current partner. He's a big fan too. And this was well into my 30s and after we'd been together for some time. Might have been after that we heard Henry and had discussing it on side stories. I don't believe that I witnessed that day and wanted to harm me. But if memory serves me correctly, I think, Others have witnessed the same type of being.

Also seem to protect some kind of guardian of animals, natures, sometimes when it's connected to it. I found that connection odd as well with my own experience. So basically these cats were abandoned by their mama, and they wanted the ghosts knew it, and they wanted to show this person. It wanted to have cats. Yeah, I want to have cats.

Did it want the kittens to die and become a little kitten ghost? Something. That's fascinating, right? It's a nice one. That's a nice ghost story. I like a nice ghost. I don't see, you don't hear those as often. It's always like a scary ghost story.

It's never like guys, my friend. No, I like a nice ghost story. And it's nice because I think sometimes with the nice ghost stories, they're a little bit more believable than the mean ones. Yeah. Because I think more people are kind of like, if it's nice, it kind of is more memorable. Yeah, the only mean ghost are like, you know, murderers, right? Sometimes.

You mean, old bitch mom. Oh, for sure. Fucking old bastard. Oh, yeah, like FDR's mom. Yeah, that fucking bitch. I fucking bitch if I could get my fucking hands on her. I don't know anything about her. She's deep.

She only had half a pussy. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show. Live every day wondering what half of your pussy works. Hey, you're going to love knowing the fact that you hope it's the top half so that you could make an incredible president. And not just the bottom half because then it's Spider-Man, all right? But not without the powers. He just gives extra legs. And then you can laugh all your way to dropping off your spider-leg child to the orphanage because you don't want to deal with it.

Yeah, that's a good point, Henry. Thank you. You got any 9-11 plans? Yes. What are you doing? I'm going to have a big plate of swarma. Well, I'm going to be on an airplane going to Washington, D.C. Wow, your favorite.

Yeah, that's right. I'm going to be at the D.C. improv all weekend. Come and see me. Yay. I got my buddy Evan Rossi with me from Tallahassee and Julie's going to host the shows. They're going to be a lot of fun. They're at the D.C. Improv. Then the following weekend, basically, I'm on the road like every week on a

Halloween. So, and then Henry's with me most of the time as well. In Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia. Come and see us. That's going to be September 18th, Norfolk, Virginia. Norfolk, Virginia. It's going to be at the Attucks. And then Raleigh, North Carolina, the following day, September 19th, we're going to be at the Martin Marietta Center for the Performing Arts. That's going to be side stories as well. And then the following, and then two weeks after that, I'm going to be in Milwaukee. Well, Millie Wauke. That's right. Yeah, I'm going to be at the Laughing Tap with Logan Metz again and Tom Goss.

Oh, fun. We're going to have some fun there. Then I'm going to be in Denver right after that in October 4th. My first show sold out at the Comedy Works. They put, I got a second show. Oh, great. Good tickets to the later show that same night. It's going to be a lot of fun.

It's my birthday, too. The day before, celebrate my birthday with me in Denver. I got a cool. Julie's going to be hosting, but I think I got a line on a really cool opener. Ooh, how is, how different are your two shows going to be? They're not going to be that much different, but I got a lot of new stuff I'm working on. That was the one thing I did overbreak because I thought about my stand-up a lot, and I got a lot of new shit I'm working on.

That's great. Yeah, yeah. So come and see me. I'm going to work on it this weekend, and I got a lot of shows coming up. It's going to be a blast. And after that, Henry and I are going to go to Hartford on October 11th and October 9th. God, I've been wanting to cross this venue off my fucking list for so long. The Warsaw and Brooklyn, I can't.

Can't wait to do side stories with you there. Can't fucking wait, dude. We'll be in Brooklyn all week, man. Yeah, we're going to be there all week, having a lot of fun. Going to lots of places and doing our thing. Cannot fucking wait. Yeah, Rob's going to be there, right? Hell yeah.

You're going to come around the show? I'm coming. Yeah, come kiss Rob at the show. If you're a big old man, if he's a big old, big old man, come on. We're selling them. Rob's for sale. Come on out for cash. cash money you'll do it by the hour

oh we love you guys thank you so much for listening the side stories we'll talk to you next week we're back baby yeah we ain't fucking going no way they can't take us out hells it hail um cal trader because i'm really in his music right now great