Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Death of OJ Simpson

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Henry & Ed bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news as the world reacts to the death of OJ Simpson, ALSO the Canadian man who dated a horse, a public service announcement from Marcus Parks, John Wayne Bobbitt (famous for having his penis chopped off) loses toes due to Camp Lajune-related infection, Los Angeles astrology influencer accused of murder-suicide, leaving kids on 405 Freeway over fear of eclipse, Listener E-Mails, and MORE!

Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the Brighter Side here to check in with you see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Brighter Side podcast is for you! Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb, stinky, no good, doo-doo factory, Boo!

kaka-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free healthcare. That's right! So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on The Last Podcast Network. You beautiful babies. ["The Last Podcast Network"] There's no place to escape to.

This is The Last Podcast. On the left. Heh heh heh. Sign stories? Yeah, this is the Buffalo Glaze? That's when the cannon blizz started. Side stories, yes. Come on girl, show me

when you're well. Slip it around girl. We going? Recording? Oh great. Oh perfect. Man, my mother was in town. Thank you so much for entertaining my mother Eddie. I had such a good time with her Yeah, honestly, she did very very good She was at our live recording the serious xm garage for our new show the last update on the left lot of fun took A wave she did exclaim immediately how happy she was that she got applause But you know what I discovered this week that I really want to give to our

audience, and this is an extremely profound lesson I've learned from your mother. Yes. This week, which is if you've got an agitated boomer on your hands, right? Let's say you got one, they're puttering around there. They are fucking with where you're putting stuff, right? They're moving stuff from shelf to shelf. They're trying to fix things, but they can't fix things. They're puttering around. They are fucking with where you're putting stuff, right? They're moving stuff from shelf to shelf. They are trying to fix things, but they can't fix things. They're like dangling off a ladder. Which is trying to reorganize your kitchen.

Just stuff like that where you're like, you know, when they're like at that point. Your kitchen could use a little love. Absolutely, but I'm still just saying like, when they're at that point of agitation where they are attached to a weather vane or they've crawled up to the side of a chimney for somehow They've gotten on the roof. They're on top of the garage. Yeah, no, they always make the wrong choice

I don't know why I don't know what happens. I'm over one time I was moving a couch up with my buddy for my mom and then we were on the stairs and for some reason she snaked Her way under my legs. Yes, and then like got underneath the middle Yes, but you know what I you know? You know what you do? If anywhere within a 15 foot, like audible distance, if you put on Sebastian Maniscalco on a television, that calms a boomer down. Yeah. I put my mom in front of me, I figured out, my mom getting agitated I was like I gotta figure out what to do. I put her on the couch I put on I literally made a playlist of Sebastian Maniscalco She had never really seen before really and I just went through I showed her all of it and she was just like ah

Like I mean it she smiled more than my wedding She was she came in all time. She was like, would you believe he made a bid? Oh yes. The kid identifying as a lion. I don't know what the remotes do. You don't mean like stuff like that. She just, ah, wow. So just know if you got an agitated boomer before you get to screaming them about their,

how their future shorter than they want it to be put on Sebastian, man and scout go bring peace to your home. Thank you, Sebastian. Sebastian's great. He is helping us. I think he's going to avert the next January 6th. If he just shows up, this is where Biden could really use Sebastian Maniscalco is that after the election, if it all goes south, right? Or on north, either way, if it goes bad or good, you have Sebastian Maniscalco on the fucking call so he can show up in the front.

If they're building an insurrection He's very likeable if he gets in front of there. It's gonna be like what you believe that I take tolls Even come and hit like as soon as he starts doing the bit. They're all gonna be like yes You got it's gonna just shut it down psychological warfare use comedy for good. Hell. Yeah Yes, I really wish welcome to side stories, I'm Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing? I wish I was smart enough to not really enjoy Sebastian.

You know, I'm not saying he's not funny. That's not what this is about. He's very funny, he's very funny. I don't know why. He's fine. I put on his shit, I'm slapping my knee. I don't know what's going on. I feel like. I go to another world. I feel like with the last special,

he got a little ahead of himself. It wasn't great. With the suit. It's a little bit with the shiny tuxedo. I like the old stuff too. But he does mug. Oh yeah. But that's me too. I understand. It's all mug. It's just from one mugging artist to another Icy. He's a performer. He is. But my god though. But if you again if you just are looking to stop a confrontation. The old people love him. They love him. Did you see when he tried to host the MTV Awards and everyone's like, who is this guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, honestly. And he doesn't know who they are.

Yeah. He doesn't know who fucking, I don't know who half these people are. I said, who is Ice Spice? Is that from the original? Everyone loves her. She's very hot. Who is she? She's beautiful.

She's got red hair. Yeah. Yeah, she's got red hair. She's got little shorts. Yeah, she's cute. Yeah, yeah, she's got, yeah, her shorts are really small. But I've never heard her songs. Yeah. But yeah, that's again, as an example. No, I tried to listen to her music and,

yeah, I didn't like it. It's not for us, it's fine though. It's not for me. But I did try. But Sebastian Maniscalco does look out at that audience and he's like, who, what do you even believe? Who is this guy? What is this guy? That's all you gotta do. Yeah. He's a genius. Yeah, he is you even believe? Who is this guy? Who is this guy?

That's all you gotta do. Yeah. He's a genius. Yeah, he is. That's the one I wanna get to. But thank you, Sebastian. You're gonna help our country. 2025 is gonna be a stable year because of you.

Now, we got some updates. Time stories update. So, number one, Ethan Crumbly. We asked last week, we asked a question. We're gonna get to the biggest story of the week. Yeah. There's obviously the biggest story of the week, which is the story that comes out always,

the minute Side Stories is published. That's how you know that's the number one story. Wednesday's the big news day. Apparently. But why can't people just like, just hold? We come out, we record on Tuesdays. If we could just hold to the very last minute, we could jump in,

because I was gonna go into Ethan Crumbly for some reason up top, but we can't. No, there's bigger news. There's much bigger news. Yeah, there's fucking juice that needs to be squeezed. Yes, OJ Simpson died. Now, we here at last podcast in the last have been obviously obsessed with OJ Simpson

as has the rest of the world since I he is he the big Use I know no who's the biggest star of murder Charles Manson you think so I think of murder if you're gonna even though that I feel like that's an incorrect labeling of him Mm-hmm I think that if he's not the the most famous, in terms of the, cause then he got later, like cause he was famous for not murder. I'm thinking of a famous for murder. Who?

Charles Manson. Or like, but he didn't murder. But he didn't. I'm just saying if you were to ask somebody, choose a serial killer off the top of your face, your mind, or a murderer. Well OJ's not a serial killer. But if like, if you said,

He's a spree killer. Hey, name a murderer. Someone would probably say Jeffrey Dahmer, or John Wayne Gatesy. Maybe that's me. Are you sure? I feel like OJ is the first one off most people's lips. SideStoriesLPOTL at gmail.com.

Will you go to your local either when you're on your way to the doctor or if you're at a grocery store? Yeah. Can you lean over right now? I think the general public. Please, somebody that you have never seen before, I would like for you, my intrepid listener to lean over and ask them, name a murderer and see who they send it,

and I want you to send it to sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com and we will take a look at those statistics. But that does not change the fact that we lost an incredible football player last week. OJ Simpson is dead. He, apparently, do you see the whole thing about how he had his kid sign an NDA for his deathbed Oh, really? Oh, yes. I think that what he was doing. What is he gonna do sue him?

All right. Well, I think what I'm doing OJ Simpson's a full egomaniac no way I know did you see the video that he made where he said he definitely wasn't going into ho spice Oh, yeah, we also I've been calling in ho spice a lot because I'm that's hospice I know I've been trying to do a new I want to do a remarketing of hospice called ho spice Where you do is you have a spice for this? Yes. I want to have a scantily clad nurses deliver your final moments and and take care of you. I know my father would have appreciated that.

I would like to do a thing called Ho Spice where you have girls, women, and maybe some and then some men people identify as women. Oh for sure. Like the idea of like you know tank tops, very traditional, short shorts. Hooter outfits. Yes, but they're Ho ho spice outfits and their nurses they're gonna take care of you can we use the Hooters logo and just say ho spice that's what I was hoping to yeah but then it would become like more like

who's spice which should be my spice our spice whose spice and it's like Jackie and I were joking we're saying that there's that confused things if you make it who's spice versus ho spice I don't know what they're talking about anyway yeah they're all garbled out of morphine they're just looking for tits and they're actually probably thinking it's their daughter. You know what most of the people dying what you call them? Old Spice. And that's what O.J. Simpson was. But he made a little video just like basically just very confident. Hello X-world. Hey there X-World. Which he changed from Twitter World, which I'm angry about. That actually almost makes me just as angry as the murders.

Is the fact that he switched the branding. That he conformed? Yes. And so he comes out, he says he was like definitely not going into hospice. That not only was he not going to hospice, he's like, but me and my family were having over a hundred people over my house for the Super Bowl Sunday. And it was him talking about the Super Bowl and all this kind of stuff and he looked fine, kind of. Well, he was sitting in a car and it was shot like he was sitting in like he was sitting

in his car and so it shot it through the window of his car for some reason. I just don't understand because when I enter into House Spice, I promise you that's when I'm on my apology tour. That is when I will be talking about that's when you're vulnerable. You don't double down. You don't need all of this supernatural confidence when you are actively dying. Because he had a moment here.

He really could have maybe said something about what he was going through. He does not wanna give anybody the opportunity. And I think the reason why he had his kids sign an NDA on his deathbed was again again an offshoot of his ego where it wasn't that he was worried about like it's it's just more just like Mine now my my my I believe that it means his what's the term the foundation? The what would you call the the what he's leaving behind his estate is a state

I think that the only goes to the Goldman's they are his lawyers are saying that he's gonna make sure estate is a state. I think that the goldman's there that his lawyers are saying that he's going to make sure the goldman's don't get a dime. They are it's because they're the most crooked, horrible people in the face of the planet. And so they don't want them to have any money. It's too bad. They don't want them to get any of that money. They're trying to figure out how they're putting it into foundations. They're trying to give it to OJ's kids. They're trying to do anything but give it to the goldman's and it's we'll see how that pans out for them, but I think he just signed the NDA as one last,

you will not disrespect me, you will not use this moment to you go write your little like tell all memoir about the last words I said on my fucking, in my deathbed, which are probably like, hello devil world. You know what I mean? Like, who knows? Like, he just was about to be dead.

But the thing is, how do they control that? He's dead. Well, I think it's because the estate can sue him. The estate can sue. The estate can sue? I don't know. His ghost can sue? I don't think that's real.

Sides stories, lpotl.gmail.com. I believe his eternal living legal Representation of his existence can sue but I'm not certain do you want to hear some? Responses from the world about this. Yeah, this was a tweet from the official Heisman Trophy account Oh, they said the Heisman Trophy mourns the passing of the 1968 Heisman Trophy winner. OJ Simpson We extend that's the OJ that to his sympathy. Yeah, to his family. Yeah, so Trophy winner OJ Simpson, we extend our sympathy to his family. Yeah, so that's the OJ that they miss. It's the kid, the child OJ.

Yeah, we all do. Alan Dershowitz, he said... Oh, he sent him, I'm so glad. I can't believe Dershowitz outlived him. Gotcha, wow, I'm so glad that he's, what did he say? What's an old so-and-so up to? Dershowitz said, OJ Simpson played an important role in exposing the racial divisions in America his trial also exposed police corruption Among some officials in the Los Angeles Police Department. He is not incorrect

Yeah, he will leave a mixed legacy great athlete many people think he was guilty some think he was innocent J and his lawyer great athlete. Many people think he was guilty. Some think he was innocent. That's what Dershowitz said. OJ and his lawyer. I love throwing the great athlete in there. I don't know why. Why do you feel like you need to say that? Yeah, it's the only compliment people can think of about him. Yeah, he was a great athlete. That's just a fact. I don't even think that's a compliment anymore. Yeah. White House press secretary, Corinne Jean-Pierre, said that,

our thoughts are with his families during this difficult time. Why would you even express that? Obviously, with his family and loved ones. Thoughts is we killed his family. Obviously, with his family and loved ones, and I'll say this, I know that they have asked for some privacy, and so we're going to respect that from who the Biden administration it's OJ Simpson's family yeah OJ Simpson he also then was civilly

made guilty Caitlyn Jenner good riddance hashtag OJ Simpson hashtag OJ Simpson. Unfucking believable. Just one last little trend getting piece of fuck. David Zucker, director of the Naked Gun movies. The Zucker Brothers, yeah! RIP Nordberg. Yeah, I miss Nordberg. Yeah, his acting was a lot like his murdering. He got away with it and no one believed him. Ha ha!

Good work, Zucker! Magic Johnson had a tweet. Oh! Cookie and I are praying for the OJ Simpson children and his grandchildren following his passing. I know this is a difficult time. Another person who I'm very surprised outlived OJ Simpson. He is fine.

He is doing great. Wow, what a loss. Oh, here's what Fred Goldman said father of Ron Goldman Oh, yeah, sure. The only thing I have to say is that it's just a further reminder of Ron being gone all these years Yes, it's no great loss to the world. None. It's a further reminder of Ron being gone Well, oh Jay Simpson we say see you in hell. Yeah Can't believe that he that chapter of American history is now closed. It does sort of feel I do feel the same way that I felt when Charles Manson died, which

is a version of sadness that I don't know why I feel that way. Yeah, no, I mean, it's a it's not sad. I'm not sad. No, it's time has passed. It's just weird that now he's gone It's like another piece of like what was sort of like a permanent media tapestry is gone Yeah, it's more reflection on am I gonna be dead soon? I mean eventually yeah, but not soon Do you know what's going on immediately after he passed away like three days afterwards?

The people who own the Bronco put it up for sale. Well, that's what we were saying right before the show. That is what they were waiting for. Simpsons former agent, Michael Gilbert and two friends of the original owner, Al Cowlings, are trying to sell it for $1.5 million. They're going to get it too. Yeah. Yeah. They, um, they received in 93, they received an offer for $750,000 and right now, do you know, wow, that's going to be worth, that has to be worth more now that he's dead.

They've been waiting for this this whole time. Oh yeah. They knew that we're going to cash out the day he died. They've been, um, they've, the car has been on loan. The Bronco has been on loan to the Alcatraz East crime museum and pigeon Forge, Tennessee. No shit. I didn't know that. It's been sitting there for a while. They've been, they've been, they use it. It's a cool car. It's a cool car. It is a crime exhibit. Other cars. There are the, the car from Bonnie and Clyde. Oh yes. Yes. Not the

real one. John Dillinger's 1933 red Essex is there. That's cool. And Ted Bundy's 1968 Volkswagen Beetle is also there. Holy shit. Well, it was a good cars there. Talk about, I want to see the Pixar movie. Those cars. That's the movie. That would be fucking prison. Car prison. Forged in prison. That would be pretty, that would be pretty good. Just get all of our favorites, the voices, all these guys, the good bunnies like, Oh, it's Paul G. Amati. Yeah. They say that the Bronco is the second most famous car in history behind the Lincoln continental

limo that Kennedy was shot at. I could see that it was all over television and it is going to get those guys a pretty penny. Yeah. And for a little while, they had it at the Luxor. Wow. They had it at the Luxor? Yeah, for like a sports museum. What? Yeah. So the Bronco was at the Luxor for a little bit. Vegas is undefeated, man. What we got to do is, I would like our listeners, maybe let's get a pool going.

If we could all put in enough money, let's buy the white Bronco for the last podcast community. Oh my God, just put our logo on the side of it. Dude, and just drive around, and we'll do it. We'll do Meals on Wheels. Right? We'll do Meals on Wheels, because then we'll drive around and we'll come out with a black ski mask on, but then we'll drive around and we'll be like, we'll come out with like a black ski mask on,

but then we'll use the knife to cut cake. Wow. Oh my God. Poor Al Cowlings. In 96 he sold the car for 75 grand. Dumb. Wrong! You didn't think that O.J. wasn't gonna die? Yeah. I mean, well, that was in 96. I know. So what do you do? That's a long time.

That's almost 30 years you're holding on to this thing. And it's a lot of money for 75 grand for in 96 especially for a fucking Bronco Absolutely Wow, so bio Jay. We'll see you when we see ya. Yeah And then also I got a little bit of an update on Ethan Crumbly So this was I was just asking the question the last time about was Ethan Crumbly now going to be in jail with his father? Dude, new court calls came out with jail calls from the father came out. Ethan Crumbly's dad that now has just been his pay. So Ethan Crumbly, for those of you that don't remember, he was a school shooter that he shot several people in, but now his parents have been for the first time ever

have been convicted of manslaughter for essentially not doing anything to stop Ethan Crumbly. And giving him the gun. And giving him the gun, and just kind of like clearing the way for him to do his crime, but the father has been calling like, saying like, openly threatening the prosecutor, all this kind of crazy shit.

Oh, imagine what he was saying to the kid. Oh yeah, they were crazy, a lot of stuff came out. Like before all this kind of crazy shit. Oh, imagine what he was saying to the kid. Oh yeah. They're crazy. They're a lot of stuff came out like before all this, you know, like, so I mean, just think of it that kind of person. But yeah, so they are now, uh, they got sentenced there in jail. Also Hannah Gutierrez, the armorer from rust was just sentenced to 18 months in jail. That's it. That's them throwing the book at her. That's as much as they could get really because of the way it the the charges worked out And I think it was completely deserved the whole time She seemed bored her like final statement before her sentencing was all like more here than anyone else

Well, if you watched once the video I saw the video during the trial of The behavior of the stunt people with her onset with the guns and it's out of control of the stunt people with her on set with the guns and it's out of control. Like you're watching stunt men, like one like hands a child a gun and he's going like boom, boom. And the actual like useful, like an actual like a fireable shotgun.

And then she's got one gun pointed to her face. She're all doing, it's just like, it was a shit show. We are extremely lucky only one person got murdered on that set. It's very, very sad. And then comes Alec Baldwin Oh, I can't wait for the trial. Oh, yeah We'll see obviously we'll still see if he goes to jail before Trump. It's gonna be ridiculous

I just don't want even I'll just delete the fucking internet for that day I'll just walk away But we were asking the question last week will Ethan Crumbly serve time with his father? And I got a good interesting email to answer that. So Ethan Crumbly, no, he will not be with his dad in prison. Even though Ethan Crumbly was convicted as an adult, he's still under 18 and Michigan law requires him to be 100% out of sight and sound of any adult inmates at all times because he is still underage.

Even when he turns 18, you can join the Gen Pop. Prisons are usually divided up by age group and threat level. So it's very unlikely that he will ever cross paths with his dad while in prison. Did he get life? He got life. Ethan Crumbly got it, but the father got manslaughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got 10 to 15 years. Also, yes, this type of manslaughter is considered a violent crime

because there were death injuries involved that were at least in the eyes of the law, a result of his parents' choices. So that's very, very interesting. And then- Can they visit each other? No. Like you can have-

That's what he's saying here, that they can't even see each other. Wow. And the child inmate and an adult inmate cannot even be, he said within eyes, 100% out of sight. Also, like when you get arrested with somebody, they try to keep you away from them. I remember when we all got arrested in Tallahassee, I wasn't allowed to visit my friends that I got arrested with.

Yeah, because they're trying to flip each one of you. They're trying to figure out which one of you will flip and then trying to keep your stories. Well, this is months after everyone got convicted and sentenced. Well, they still, they just don't want you guys ever, I feel like there's some, I wonder what that, maybe I'm incorrect, I don't know. It's sideswords l-p-o-t-l at gmail.com. We have so many great lawyers that listen and so,

I'd love to know. Please answer. Yeah, I'd love to know. I was eventually allowed to see one of them, like after like six months had passed, I was like, hey, can I go see this guy, like what the fuck, and then finally they let me go. Yes,, so weird Yeah

We'll get that answer next week and I Unfortunately received an email about masturbating female horses No, I we asked for it. So you can't really say unfortunately, I I'm not gonna I don't want to do this So I could so I was sent an article. Yeah, I didn't read it. Oh buddy Oh, it's unpleasant. Yeah, it's extremely unpleasant. It was about a woman interview Including commentary on horse clits and yeah and horse pussy tasting for fresh cut grass like fresh cut grass. This man is bad There's a man that wrote an article about it was an interview from the cut with a man that is trying to change everybody's mind about him

Legally dating the horse is he legally dating the horse? No one legally dates or yes So what the fuck how is he not in jail after this article came out this guy? basically sort of semi reveals that he is a part of a gigantic community of People that make they view it as making love to animals, like they're dating and in relationships with animals. He says he has a doctor, he has a therapist that he talks through with it. He has a veterinarian that is with him when he's fucking the horse. That veterinarian should be fucking disbarred.

I don't know if that's a thing, but... He says it's not dirty because the veterinarian looks away Then what's the point of a being there because he's looking away. He is looking at the whole it's like so he's Going at it. Sorry everybody by the way We're not supposed to do this. I'm not doing this anymore But he basically says he has a horse He dates and he has a horse that he just hangs out with. And he says that, he says the one saddest thing about horses is that they're always saying goodbye. Because a horse gotta go from one place to another and so he's had a lot of-

Horses say hello! I just think the man is- And they say nay! Also by the way sir! Yeah the man's misguided, he says he's so he's straight for horses. He only dates mare horses, but he's gay for men He only dates men for for humans, but he doesn't take it up the butt because his hemorrhoids are too bad So he has to be the top and he says he's sad he wishes he got the intimacy of being a bottom

This does not deserve to have an article. We just have to stop. It's a huge article It's a huge article talking about how it's his head. It's his day job. He says he's got a full time job with the way he says he has kids kids. Yeah. And not goats too. This guy is bad. It's not good. He said the articles call what's it like to date a horse. And I'll you what it's not dating. Oh it came out in 2014. Yeah it's not dating guys. It's a horse. I'm just, I'm not trying to shame, ah, it's just not good.

You can't shame this person, Henry. I will allow it. I don't care about, this is not a kink thing. I know it's not. This is horse fucking. It's horse fucking. That is a bug, this is not a kink. So if you're super curious, you can go look up that article and you can read that for

yourself because there's a lot Of stuff. It's old. It's old. It is Unfortunately enlightening. Yeah, because there is information there Unfortunately, yes. Did you see any similarities? Yes. Do you think that zoo inspired people to fuck more horses? Yes, but he says in a positive way because it makes them be more careful No, they learn the long lessons Eddie. They're learning the wrong lessons again and again What's your non-human animal you're fucking none none absolutely zero. Yeah, well, you got to pick one I why because I'm asking so do I have a gun to my head? Is it if I'm gonna have an animal?

You're gonna blow my brains out. Yeah sure, I Have to answer this you gotta answer this I have to use it too. I'll answer it too. If it makes you feel better It does. Okay. So yes, we'll both put ourselves out there. You gotta do it Chimpanzee chimpanzee. Yeah, that's a great. That's a good one. If I had to yeah No, that makes a lot of sense just cuz it could maybe make some form of communication And they kiss they do sign and they do sign language Which is so you guys don't know if you can't see the show right now

You can see it on patreon. Yeah, but I'm showing the eternal signal the hand In a hole. Yeah, this is the actual sign language keep seeing your wedding ring go back and forth It's all that chip. Yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. I'm fucking a pig. They got nice skin. Well, I'm just glad that... But you have a beautiful wife. I do. And so do I. Yeah, we have both very beautiful wives.

I don't want to have sex with an animal. I'm not going to fuck, I'm not going to fuck a pig. No more of this. No. You want to talk about it? I just said it was an update we received because it was a question I asked last week and it is not... Oh, just a second.

I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go back to the question. I'm going to go a pig no more of this no you want to talk about it I just said he was an update we received because it was a question I asked last week and it is not Oh, just doesn't have a fun. Sometimes we don't need to ask every question I love to answer the question because I have the information, but I'm feeling like it's good to have in your pocket

Yeah, sure. Oh, yeah for parties. Yeah Oh, yeah You got I can't wait one of my favorite things in LA, because I don't get enough weird looks at parties as it is. And so it's nice to come in and come in hard with that. Do you know horses have clits? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being like, you ever seen a horse's clit? You had it on my phone?

Freshly cut grass. You know what that reminds me of? Oh, at the Yankee Candle Store? Yeah. Mm, ooh, ooh. Reminds me of my college girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Ooh. Ooh. Reminds me of my college girlfriend. How come only Southerners buy Yankee candles?

That's a good question. That's a great question. I don't know. Yeah. Because they're fucking traitors as they've always been. They are. Cowards. You're buying, if you live in the South and you're buying a Yankee candle, fucking check

your bullshit. I want to see an Antebellum candle company. Yeah. All right and now This is perfect now it's time for a public service announcement for Marcus Parks For me it'd probably be a deer Yeah, cuz they're nice and you know, they I was trying to move on Was trying to get us we were trying to move us forward. Yeah Yeah, buddy, I'm just here to talk to you about last update on the left to clarify a little bit about what's going on with that show due to what we went through last fall in order to keep the lights on here at LPN in order to keep our 15 full time employees paid in order to keep their health insurance.

in order to keep our 15 full-time employees paid, in order to keep their health insurance, we agreed to do a third podcast for the SiriusXM app. For the app. For the app. And it's just another show, we've been working extremely hard on it, it's a part of our contract. Some people would call it a contractual obligation,

but we call it an exciting new venture and last podcast in the left. But hey, we're working hard on it, so go check it out. And you can either opt in or not. It's a fun choice that's up to you. And we are working our asses off on it. We got a whole team of people that's really making sure that this show is up to our standards.

And one, just so you know, we are are working on towards one of our goals with the show Is we will be able to release it to everyone at some point. No just know that like we're just yeah Yeah, we're bad. I mean we're still doing all the Masturbating female horses We're still doing every you know side stories is still free last podcast on the left is still free Everything that was free before last stream is still free. Last podcast on the left is still free. Everything that was free before last stream is still free. Yes. There's a hell of a whole lot of stuff for free out there.

We're working hard. So we're working damn hard. You know, we're going to be bringing the same shit that we've been bringing you guys for many, many, many, many, many years and we'll continue to do so for many, many, many more. So thanks everybody for listening. Thanks for, you know know hearing us out and I'm gonna go think about whether or not deer truly is my choice as to which animal I would have sex Get out of here and tell Carolina Thank you Marcus

Sometimes it takes a father Hi Marcus also three months free when you sign up for the Sirius app. Yes, it is. It seems to be almost like a thing you could or could not do Eddie. If you wait three months and then go to Sirius and get the three months and then you listen to all, binge it. However you want to do it. And then you don't have to pay for it for a cent. Or sit in a chair. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stare forward as we do.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. But now let's get to some stories. Let's get inside like stories like stories. So number one story, obviously. Thank you, God, for sending us this story. John Wayne Bobbitt, whose wife famously chopped off his penis. I love the fact that people know about like, do the youngsters know about John Wayne, do the youngsters know

about John Wayne Bobbitt? I don't know. I know that there was a docu-series that focused on Lorena Bobbitt. For those of you that don't remember. So this story happened, I believe, yeah, they were married. It was John Wayne Bobbitt, another John Wayne. Ha ha, it's a bad name.

Yeah, don't. And he was married to Lorena Bobbitt. They got married on June 18th, 1989 In 1993 Lorena severed John's penis with a knife while he was asleep in bed Eventually, she would escape and run away. She threw the penis out the window. It was picked up. It was reattached We know now at first this that story took over the whole fucking news. Everybody was so obsessed I was 11 years old and everyone was joking about it like I was like it was like teachers were joking about this just Constantly and but now we know that John Wayne Bobbitt

Very significantly abused Lorena Bobbitt. That's the reason why she got off She got for a temporary insanity when they went and they and she but obviously John Wayne Bobbitt is just not a nice guy So later on he got his penis reattached, he did some pornography with his big, horrible, stupid, weird Franken penis, and then all around, untalented person, but John Wayne Bobbitt apparently also has been struggling with keeping his toes.

So now that he's back in the news for losing toes, he had his toes amputated, but at first I saw this thing and I was excited because it was like, yes, new amputations. I thought that he was like, I thought this was- I wonder if he's gonna get new toes. I was hoping that he would get these toes, that we were gonna pop off these toes. Because again, Rob did bring up

that this is the closest to our 420 episode. Oh yes, it is. If we were gonna have one this year. And so like, I kinda wanna change shit to fuckin' John Bobbitoes as my new word for nugs. I'm gonna grind up some John Bobbitoes this fuckin' weekend. But I don't wanna smoke John Bobbitoes. Dude, why not man? They're green and fuzzy, dawg.

They fuckin' got them little hairs, dawg, them crystals. Come on, son. Get thembbin' toes up in here and grind it up, get that funky, funky, funky, in the coteau. I know, his foot is blunt now. Yes. So he got diagnosed with toxic peripheral polyneuropathy. Polyneuropathy, whatever you call it.

Now apparently, so, and this brings another Perfect Last podcast reference in He lost it because of the horrible tainted waters of Camp Lejeune now camp Lejeune. Tell me about Camp Lejeune I don't know much about this. I was puzzled at the beginning I believe of last year because we were went back on tour whenever I was back in a hotel room and everywhere you go Around this country all you see is like get involved in the class action lawsuit against the people the that ran Camp Lejeune, which was a Marine Corps It was the same the Camp Lejeune basically and he was a Marine. I

Believe he was he was a Marine. I know he was so this is where he was so he got Marine Corps Bay the Marine Corps base Camp Lejeune is a site of one of the worst water contamination cases in US history Wow, this is a frequent pollution spot where oil industrial wastewater and toxic chemicals Uses degreasers and solvents were all knowingly dumped in the local storm drains between 1952 and 1987 That's a long time apparently he got a tiny cut on his toes And then weird like shit got up into his fucking toe holes And then he got a bone disease because of the toe holes and they've been slowly but surely Sending his toes off to see his ghost penis and they just like one by one

But I guess they finally popped off the last two did I'm telling you bro We need water shoes Next time like we go in the ocean or some shit, water shoes. Why? Because this happens more than you would like. The only reason it's in the news is because someone chopped off his penis.

Otherwise, we wouldn't even be fucking talking about this. Why do I need water shoes? Because you stub your toes in the water, it starts to bleed, and that's when the fucking bacteria that's in there starts coming into your fucking bloodstream. Yes. And as we get older older our bodies do not heal as quickly So we need next time we're going into the beach or some shit

Water shoes are we getting old dude. I'm telling you You'll love it. I tried it once. It's unbelievable water shoes, but don't sand get in them Yes, yeah, and they go full of water, but you it's better It's I'm telling you you could step on rocks You can just walk on rocks. I mostly sit in a chair I'm not so I'm an ocean swimming guy. Okay, I go when I swim a little bit. I float. Yeah, but I think you're right I would do some of these To Australia you were showing some Nike water shoes and that is a sin that looks like that is a horrible shoe

I can't be caught dead in this shoe. You're gonna be on the water. I Can't be seen in those shoes because I have a reputation to uphold These are great. What do you you don't like these people look at my shoes You can wear the stupid shoes you always wear the ones ones with the fucking, the ones with the holes in it that look like Crocs kinda. Yeah, Crocs. No, but not the Crocs, the ones that are like. Oh, from Siam, my guy.

Siam, those, you can wear those in the water. Yeah, I stopped watching, because they started hurting my toes. Speaking of hurting my toes. I had to, yeah man, no, I had to stop wearing mine too. That's sad. It hurts too much. I know, and you look so good.

I was doing two socks. Yeah, I might get you a bigger size next time. But then it just flies off. Yeah. There's something, I think they just need to be stretched out or something. I'll tell him. I've been sending him emails, he doesn't get back.

But John Wayne Bobbitt, he's toeless, he said he's walking around with canes now. I do think that we should get him some. Cocaine. Cocaine. Two canes. I feel like think that we should get him some cocaine. Cocaine. I feel like he could get a wow. Yeah. John Wayne Bobbitt's not looking good. Did he get remarried? I don't know. You know, I don't know. I mean his legs are going to go if they're slowly

removing toes, the foot snacks, then that's going to go above the knee. Yes. He's going to become a space shuttle man slowly, slowly but surely they will do. Yeah, he did get remarried on his 35th birthday. Nice. Wow. That's good for him. Wow. What a...

I wonder if he's going to have kids. Yeah, his penis works. Sidesories LPOTL at gmail.com. Yeah, you're getting there, but he can't... No, I know that. His penis works. Cum shoots through. Yeah.

Have you ever seen the porn that he was in? No, I don't fucking... Why would I watch that porn? For the sake of this? No, I've never like been like oh this dude's in a porn I gotta check it out. Well it's never happened to me. Well you know sometimes you get curious. Did you watch the screech porn? I saw like I saw like pictures of it. You don't have to see everything. Screen grabs. You could you could just hear about things sometimes. I'm extremely curious and And I always want to know. I always want to know for certain. Like it's my favorite thing. I've got to know. As soon as it's there, maybe it's my OCD, but as soon as it's an option, I'm looking at it. Nah, you don't have to. You just learn

about it. And then people tell you about it, you're like, oh, this happened. But you know, recently I was reading about the... Okay, so Plato talks about the idea of shadows, reality being shadows, Plato against the walls of a cave. Plato hates shadows, it was barking at him, and it was, ararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar I want you to understand that knowledge is something that you don't understand. I think you have the knowledge without looking at it. I know that John Wayne Bobbitt was in a porno as a Franken penis. There was a Pharaoh that met with the God of knowledge, Toth, right? T-H-O-T-H.

And Toth brought to this Pharaoh the powers of writing the powers of academics the powers of mathematics and Pharaoh turned to the God and said ah Yes, this will allow our knowledge to spread throughout the world But the problem with writing dear Tote is that even though in your godly wisdom I I understand and know your gifts are wise But then to allow those that do not receive that information that has been created within our brains from experience, the most important thing a man can have, experience,

it will then be cheapened by writing. And it will allow so-called wise men to read these words without experiencing the knowledge within their legs and chest and brains, their physical brains, that they will get to read it, and then it will separate us from our divine knowledge of the gods. Oh, John Wayne Bobbitt ain't got no toad.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. It's a duality of men.

Tsk. Tsk. Fly from your grave. All right, we got a lot of fucking stories here. We've been almost, we should fly. We should probably go for an hour. We should kind of fly through these. All right, yeah. Just go fast. All right, real quick a lot of fucking stories here. We should probably go for an hour. We should kind of fly through these. Just go fast. All right, real quick.

So the next one that's really, so yeah, by John Wayne Bobbitt's Toes. I hope the rest of them goes next. Now we have the old lady shot her intruder. This is a cool, we can just skip past this, but I think it's worth acknowledging. The reason why this is an awesome story. So this is an 85 year old woman. This was in Idaho Obviously she was accused packing. She had a 35. Her name was Christine Janayan. I believe as they pronounce it She's 85 years fun. She had a 357 Magnum underneath her pillow in her bed. Now, it's fucking I don't know

It's all she probably had a husband who slept with it a lot of times Widows who had husbands who slept with guns in the bed Keep the gun in the bed after the husband dies because it's like cuz it's like him being there He saved her ass Princess and the 357 Magnum can't she sleep knowing she has the ability to defend herself Ha! Can't she sleep knowing she has the ability to defend herself? So this guy broke into her house while she was asleep. The man by the name of Derek Condon,

he looks, unfortunately, you can see here in his mug shot, he's got that gross ass weird, like, gotay is longer than the rest of the beard look. And so he came in, he hit this old woman in the head, he had been casing it, the house, I guess, and he said, I want you to take me to the valuables. He pressed a gun to her head, he tied her to a chair. He then she then said sent him downstairs Yeah, go look it's down there. She then

While bound in the chair scooted the chair over to the bed got the 357 Magnum out from underneath the pillow The dude came up being like where's the shit? You told me was downstairs and she fucking unloaded on him shot him a couple times He shot her three times and she lived man is a fucking this fucking old woman Did is awesome, but that guy's dead. I do feel you know it's bad to lose life is bad But yes, and I don't necessarily always a fight. It's a fight. This is a fight. There's a fight This is a straight-up fight. It's straight a-up fight and she won. Yeah, never try never underestimate your grandma No, because some of these grandmothers are fucking they are strong Natalie's grandma is

Honestly, one of the most physically strong human beings I've ever seen still has a grandma. Yeah, she's 90. That's wild She's 90 she pulls in her own boat off the lake. She like pulls it by her rope She like makes her own she she's very, very strong. I haven't had any grandparents in over 30 years. Yeah, I get to go see one every once in a while. It's nice. It is nice. Because she's a nice one.

Yeah. It's not like she didn't get, she's not, you know, brain-wormed by the internet. Yeah, I like adopting old people. You know, like when I meet a new old person, I got this new neighbor, Helen, she's great. Yeah, you love her. Yeah, she's like 70-something, she's fucking awesome. You know what the thing is. They're kind of like squirrels

Don't feed them cuz they keep showing up. I love show up. I'm just saying though You know what? I'm in the old ladies come by they come by but then they start saying something then you can get cursed Oh, she's Asian. So I'm not worried about what she says If you don't think it her a she could curse you in Asian if you decide? Oh that's fine. She's allowed to curse me. She's in her 70s. I think that we're given a lot of allowances to these seven year olds.

Women. Women. Yes. No, we've always stood on this hill. Old men go fuck. You know, you're on the subway, an old lady walks in, you give her your seat, an old man walks in, fucking find a new home. Get out of New York.

Except I was talking about this with all the body cam footage I watch old women believe that they are impervious to arrest They all bully every single one of my body cam videos if you're being arrested over the age of 70 things are not going well For you obviously but like these old ladies. They don't they literally don't believe they can be arrested Yeah, and they are wrong. I wish that was true though. I don't because some of them need to get off the streets. You think so?

There was a lady, there was one double tree incident. I'll send you the video. This lady looks like my aunt and she is, I mean it, just destroying a hotel and she's going like, ah, ah, and then she like falls limp limp they go get her and she goes like oh My back it's like honestly if you did try to I do think it would be physically impossible to arrest my mother Like you'd have to do what they did this old lady. It's the same size and shape where you'd have covered in baby oil Yeah, and they can't hold on to a she did she's covered in bath body works. Yeah, which means she's slick as an eel

Yeah, yeah, so it's like they are, you can't get them. You got to tase them. You have to tase them. And they keep pushing it. They're the ones pushing it. So you got to be careful. And it's the only time I truly honestly feel for the police officers, because they have to deal with this,

they don't want to arrest the old lady. You can tell that they don't want to deal with it. Because she kept being like, you bastards! You bastards! Just being like, he's like, oh, you're making me do this lady. You gotta be careful. Let him go. Tie him to a bed.

You don't need to go to jail. Well, there was this one lady that they did do that. They tied her to her gurney, and then they had to put the ankle straps in her, and then they had to put the head like fucking fucking they put like a little bag over her head Oh, yeah, and then they have to put her on like this thing where you like kept like a corpse where they wrap up your hands Yeah, that's better than prison Yeah, but you still you got to eventually You gotta give them an hour. Sometimes they don't though. I think an hour maybe two. They really got a really cool out

Yeah, put on some court TV, they'll be fine. Sebastian Maniscalco. Exactly! That's where he comes in. That's right! That's what he needs to, every cop needs to have a little bit, just one pulled up. They already got him!

Yeah, they already got him pulled up. And one last story, again, we got through nothing this week. We got through nothing this week. We got through so much stuff this week. I, this one last story I just wanna touch on, and then we can cover it in deeper things next week. There's nothing. So much stuff this week. I, this one last story I just want to touch on and then we will, we can cover it in deeper things next week. So the- I'll save my hero dog. Yes, yes. Yes, we will. The eclipse last week drove some people completely insane. I don't- It makes no sense to me. I didn't even know it happened. The thing about eclipses is that it does,

astrologically, it does bring up, it up supposed to bring a chaotic element and so What I heard was that if you were in the eclipse light you should go and take a salt bath That's what cleanses you of the fucking craziness or whatever But for the most part unless you're in total unless you are on the path of totality You were not going to receive The same chaotic effect. Yeah So I don't know what happened with this woman. So this is a woman that was a, was an influencer.

Her name, fun name, Danielle Cherokia Johnson, 34 years young, stabbed her boyfriend, Jalen Chaney, 29 times. Jalen Chaney, who was 29 years old, stabbed them, I believe, I want to say it was over 20 times they then went on a full on tear down the 405 where this person who wasn't an astrological influencer they were on TikTok yeah they posted a bunch of weird tweets that didn't make a heck of a lot of sense yeah this eclipse is the epitome of spiritual warfare get your protection on and get your heart in the right place

The world is very obviously changing right now And if you ever needed to pick a side the time is time to do right in your life is now stay strong You got this. Yes. Her Twitter account was mystic X lipstick and you heard the last year other comment She made was wake up wake up. The apocalypse is here Everyone who has ears listen your time to choose what you believe is now if you believe a new world is possible for the people retweet now there's power and choice there's power and choice repose to make the choice for the collective she tweeted all this and then she stabbed her boyfriend and then she dumped her two

kids out of her car while she was driving 50 miles an hour down the 405 which is really sad possible to do yes it's 405, which is really, really sad. Which is impossible to do. Yes. It's very congested. It is really, really sad. Nine-year-old girl was the, the nine-year-old of the family died.

She also had an infant in her arms. The infant was immediately struck by another car. This all happened 3.40 a.m. Monday in the lead up to the eclipse. Then she then would go on to drive her car to a tree and she would die herself. Now this is, it's really fucked up. Man, imagine being the person driving that hit the baby. Oh, it's, it's horrible, it's horrifying.

That person's life is over. It's one of my, it's like, that is a massive intrusive thought I have. It's like driving down the street and having a kid like jump out from behind two cars. Yeah, oh my God, it's terrifying. I remember one time Julie hit a cat, you know, and that was like, that shook her for a very long time. She hit a cat. She had a cat on that. We were on Jersey turnpike and it like, it literally just, it sprinted out right in front of

her and she hit a cat. And then right afterwards I'm like, Oh my God, you hit that possum. You know, just like I tried that good work. She was like, that was like, I know. I was like, I tried. I'm sorry. I just tried to be good. I was trying to be good. But yeah, that woman, B. Illen. And she's not anymore. No, she's dead. And she was a divine healer.

So that's unfortunate because you can't do that after you're dead. Yeah. Do you think that she hit the tree on purpose? Yes. It seems like it was suicide. I think that she was. Do you think she realized hit the tree on purpose? Yes, it seems like it was suicide. I think that she was... Do you think she realized what she had just done?

I think she just was in total absolute free fall. And I wonder whether or not other details will come out about some form of drug use or other pressures that drove her into this drug. She had over 100,000 followers. So, wow. So how could she possibly be upset? Jesus Christ. Yeah, so wow. So how could she possibly be upset? Jesus Christ. Yeah, she was so, oh yeah. I have nothing to say about this. Unfortunately.

I know it's a story we must talk about because it's our business, but man is just so upsetting. It's very bad. It's very upsetting. I feel for this little girl so bad. No, and it's a very, uh, she's fucked too. Yes. The little girl is not going to do well. They, it sounds's a very she's fucked too. They wait. Yes, the little girl is not gonna do well They read it sounds like a villain super This sounds like a super villain origin story and you just got to be careful what you read about astrology because it is it's a fun guide I think astrology should be used for do you believe in at all? I think that there is an interesting aspect to the idea. What? Celestial bodies. I'm a Taurus.

I'm a full Taurus. I'm a Taurus Sun, Taurus Moon. That makes sense. Yes. Yes. I say I'm a May 1st Taurus Satanist, which means I have a hundred thousand thread count underwear. And so I am a Taurus across the board.

I do kind of believe I have those. I have that whatever. I guess I feel like a Taurus. You know, I do. But I guess I feel like a Taurus, you know, I do but I think it's it's interesting I think that there are aspects of the universe and printing on you as a fetus. That's what they say it happens I don't know. I do find it interesting because people do tend to sort of show some of these traits But I don't know whether or not it's chicken. It's a chicken in the egg. Yeah type scenario I'm a Libra.

That makes sense. The scales of justice. Yeah, you like fairness. I do like fairness. I feel like, yeah, and I'm level-headed, I guess. I haven't flipped out in years. You don't anymore. I haven't seen you flip out in a long time.

I yell, but it's passion. I yell. Yeah, no, it's not ever anger, it's passion. Although, fervent enthusiasm. If I try to do like, if I try to put together a desk. Mm-hmm That's why Natalie I lose it Natalie does the IKEA Julie fucking put together my new record holder Yes, she had to I was like Ozzy baby if I put this together, I'm gonna be angry. It's gonna be really bad Oh, yeah

When I put I cuz I wanted to put together my own grill and I did that but then I caught myself so bad Which also got it cool. I left like blood on the inside of the grill. So I was like, yeah, I thought that was sweet. But I was angry. Yeah. No, I don't do well in those situations. No, Natalie did a really good. Natalie takes that from me. Yeah. When I buy a grill, I'm just going to buy a floor model. Dude, we go. I can't wait. I can't wait for that day, buddy. It's happening real soon. I want to go with you. We should. Barbecues galore. Yeah. Yeah, man. I'm going. Yeah, I can't wait Yeah, I was I went to be like us losing our virginity together in Vegas Man, that's so much fun. Oh, all right. Well, yeah, we got it. We've been going for a long time

It's time for listener emails. Oh art. Do we have any we have one? Okay, what's up with the people? No, no, we actually had a bunch We had a lot of responses to the stories And we have some stuff that i'm not trying to get to right now because it's like the viagra response was just basically explaining The actual medical bill that you would have it's a miagra, but no, thank you for explaining it to me I used you as google. So thank you apparently just makes you ready to fuck. Mm-hmm. Great. Yoni eggs They're saying don't put porous eggs in your vagina. They cannot be cleaned. Use metal.

That's what they said, use metal. And it helps grip your vagina. And I also heard a lot of people saying that after they had kids, they did vaginal weightlifting because it helped them stop peeing their pants when they laughed or were scared. Well, that's great. It is.

That is great. I always think of Deadwood, when the doctor's checking out all of Swearing Engine's girls, and then they're all making fun of him, and then he's like, when you giggle, you leak piss. I always, I don't know, that's just buried in the back of my brain. It's all he's thinking.

Whenever he's looking at you, know that that's what he's thinking. All right, here's this letter. It was 1999. Wow. Break stuff. And I was in eighth grade in Issaquah, Washington, which is an upper middle class suburb

about 30 minutes east of Seattle. My friend Jenny and I used to walk to and from school together almost every day. Sometimes after school, we would walk to our friend Olivia's house because for the most part, her parents were never home, so it became our afterschool hangout spot. Olivia was also friends with a girl a year below us named Renee. We knew Renee and the four

of us had all had hung out but Jenny and I weren't as close to her as Olivia. On this particular day we went to Olivia's house like usual. It was never really a planned thing. There were no cell phones so we just show up and hang or or if her parents were home We'd all go our separate ways when we got there our friend Olivia seemed agitated and scared and we asked her to tell us What was wrong after a lot of convincing Olivia finally told us how her friend Renee was telling her quote-unquote weird stuff That was scaring her when we asked what weird stuff She told us about how Renee had quote-unquote met these people, and they told her the world was going to end soon and not to drink the water because

it was poison. Olivia also told us that Renee told her to never tell anyone, and she told us she shouldn't talk about it anymore because Renee could watch her. When we asked what she meant by that, she said in a hushed tone that Renee could see into rooms from wherever she was like a video camera But she shouldn't talk about it anymore Why did that exact moment the phone and Olivia's room started to ring? We all stared at it frozen Olivia answered and entitled look of sheer terror on her face

And we could clearly hear that it was Renee on the other end Olivia only said a few words and hung up She looked at us mortified and said, that was Renee, and she knows what I said. You guys should go. Me and my friend Jenny walked to the corner where we normally parted ways in absolute silence, stunned by what just happened. The three of us never talked about it again. On ten years later, when Jenny and I reconnected as adults, I brought up the incident. We were both still unable to figure out exactly what had happened.

Keep in mind this was 1999, none of us had cell phones. So the only way for this to be a prank is Renee would have to have been in the house close enough to hear our convo and call that exact second. That's also assuming Olivia's parents had a second landline, which most families didn't. Still to this day, 25 years later, I still don't have an explanation for what happened, so let you boys be the judge. A labyrinth prank or remote viewing You know, I think the whole thing is just like a ghetto love, you know, that's the law that they live by, you know Day by day. They're just wondering what happened to why their shorty had to die. Yeah, sure, you know, you know

Reminisce over their ghetto princess every day and they give it up for their shorty Renee So this is a lyrics do a song. Was that called Renee? Yeah by the Lost Boys. Wow. Well yeah I think that um I'm gonna have to think about that because I don't know. You know I think it's fun. Yep enjoy it. I think that it's a good story. I think the truth a stranger Fiction we had two lines in in 99. Yeah, we had two lines. We had two lines, but maybe we were fancy Yeah, your dad was spending a lot of money that he didn't have. Yeah, same thing with mine No, but but his work paid for our second. Sweet. Yeah, so that was cool. Yeah.

But, you know, it was just in the office, so it was hard for me to use. Yeah. You wouldn't want to go in there anyway. It'd probably smell weird. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's where the family computer was. Live every day.

Live every day. Don't put anything in your vagina that can't be cleaned because people get mad about it. It's bad for your vagina. Use some metal, but apparently also you're're gonna love the fact that if something is solid, super solid, doesn't have any give, like flesh, it's gonna feel a lot bigger in your vagina than you thought it would. So think about your entryway before you slap it in there

and then you can laugh your way all the way to O-town because you are properly making your vagina as powerful as it should be. That is such, you know, I never thought about that. because you are properly making your vagina as powerful as it should be. That is such, you know, I never thought about that. What? The fact that a piece of metal the size of a penis is actually much bigger than a penis

because there's- Squishes. Penis squishes. Wow. Yeah. Fuck. Isn't that weird? That is weird. Never thought about it like that. Never thought about it like that.

It's like how rats get under the door. That's why dildos are squishy. That's why. Yeah, of course. Never thought about it like that. It's like how rats get under the door. That's why dildos are squishy. That's why. Yeah, of course. But then some women like the fullness of a metal. Of a basketball pole. Ten footer. But I feel like that those women.

Give it a little dunk. I think that those women are greedy. Gifted. Greedy. Gifted. Thank you guys for listening to Side Stories. Make sure to check out patreon.com slash podcast on the left. You can now see Side Stories for free on our YouTube channel LP on the left.

You can go see that but then we have a lot of late though. It does it comes out late but you can see it immediately on our Patreon. Go check it out. No ads fun Stiff go to tick tock at LP on the left comm why I don't know but do it go to twitch.tv LPN TV we have got a lot of new stuff going on very excited New shows tears of a clown coming out every other Wednesday spun every Wednesday brighter side every other Wednesday come check it out Good put it's about to start our new podcast. I don't know when but soon it's coming out. I'm gonna put that there. We've already filmed some of it

So are you gonna get some of that you're like it? Yeah, and if you want to see us live London, Reykjavik everywhere We can't wait we're going to several cities in various places Go to last podcast on the left comm to get those tickets and check out daddy and I almost sold out don't sleep on it Yeah, Denver's basically sold out. So that's awesome. Don't sleep on it. Yeah, Denver's basically sold out So that's awesome. Chicago's basically sold out. Yeah, just let's keep going. Yeah, keep them gone again Remember, I am NOT taking any more corrections unless you send me a confirmation of a ticket All right. I need to see that before I Submit to your pronunciation guides now you also want to check out

It's that go to last podcastoguessinlove.com also Eddie and I please if you're in the Los Angeles area we are going to be doing SideStories Live at Netflix is a Joke on May 9th at the Masonic Lodge. I do believe it is mostly sold out as well in Los Angeles. I think there's a couple of tickets left go and check that out. It's part of the Netflix is a Joke festival. It's going to be fun. I'm really really excited we might have some special This See you next week. Bye. Hannah Satan. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to LastPodcastNetwork.com.