Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Delphi Indiana Murders

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

Ed & Henry bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news - starting off with The Delphi Indiana Murders as murder suspect Richard Allen places blame on Odinist Cult,  Venezuelan Authorities re-take Gang-run prison in Caracas, British man breaks into ex's home, covers himself in feces, and jumps through window, North Carolina man facing rape charges fakes death in Kayak accident while wearing ankle monitor, Hero of the Week, Listener Emails, and MORE!

Hey there dudes and do-dets, time to wax up your boards and go catch the big wave over at the LPN beach like it. Bingo! One night only at the Balboa Theater in San Diego October 20th, come and check out all of the cool cats and the crazy dogs. And LPN, every show, the entire network, each one, poll-sating and grinding in front of you for your entertainment pleasure. We're all gonna catch the big guna.

And I'm talking about that big greasy guy. I'm talking about a wave. G-, Siri! It's Siri! Just so you know, it's gonna be inside of a theater. So when physical wetness you experience is your own personal body heat or the sweat of one of the performers, come and check it out. I'm certain if there's a podcast flavor you need on your tongue, we got the spoon for you.

Beach Blanket Bingo, baby. Come on, guys. That's when my cannonballs started. Side story. Yes. How in the love of Christ are we supposed to do the show when we have a literal Joe Biden is currently on the show. Joe Biden is a guest. I'm here with Ed Larson, before we even start, he had to bring his octogenarian dog that I'm not saying. What 16 times seven?

God don't do this to me. All right, hold on, let me pull up my character. It's like 135. Really? Is that it? Look at that, look it up. 16 times seven, it's not 135. It's 112. Yeah, she's 112 years old. She's old as fuck Tutsi is here in the studio again not suitable to be president. She is I guess so she has to be in your left observer. Oh cool. If she

if she if I put her on the ground, she'll just walk around and like, yeah, knock over the cameras and drag all the wires and bark. And so she's up here with it is this is a, this is a miracle dog that you have to get the blood from this dog. And we need to bring it to the White House. Like this, she somehow is still alive. I have no idea. Like I think I guess all odds. She remember when she had her leaky sides, she had all the shed four abscesses. She was just in the open dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was an open face dog. Yeah, just wrapped her in a bunch of gauze and waited a couple months and now

she's alive. And you know what? It shows again, this two shall pass. Oh, you got to do it. She gets, you know, she gets her seizures. You know, but now she's on Keppra and Fino Barbertall. And so, you know, she gets her seizures, you know, but now she's on Keppra and Fino Barbertall. And so, you know, but we did find out what her favorite type of pizza was. Oh, what is it? Little seizures. Yes, that's right.

I bet you love it. Welcome to the side stories. Marcus Barx is working on a script right now. Sorry, brought in another galute. His name is Ed Larson. I got nowhere else to go. I got no place else to go. Yeah, you do, man.

You could be home asleep. You could be home asleep, having beautiful dreams, not dealing with fucking anything, God. Oh, man. Tutsi's been reading these articles with me. She's so upset. I think that's what the look on her faces. She's just so upset.

I mean, like, this is material. She's like, Henry, did you know that an alligator ate a woman? Yes, of course. Yes, I did. You've seen my algorithm. Of course, I have. I love it when that happens. I don't love it. But it's also again, at least the alligator's a reading. That's it. I feel bad. I even, Natalie and I get into this all of time because we watch our commentaries, we watch that chimp empire. Oh, okay. Hotcho. It's great. But basically they did a thing with a, they, they, they embedded themselves in the world biggest group of chimps, right? So they're following all their politics, the bubble bomb. I think I talked about it on the show. But now they get so upset when

they're killing the other monkeys and eat them. And I was like, what do you, what do you, what do you want me to do? Yeah, honestly, they're gonna go to Burger King. Yeah. No, that's their food. They don't even like eating the monkeys. They don't even like eating each other. They do it as a sign of dominant. I wouldn't go half-ar. I feel like they eat nuts and berries and shit. But I think they like killing the monkeys. I mean, they like killing the monkeys. They eat the monkeys. They have it. Yeah, yeah. They like to take the youngest one and eat it in front of everyone after they beat them. You wait, Tutsi. You wait. It's coming for you. I know, I'm sorry. I wanted to say start today.

I got a good story. What happened? Sent to me. There's a good little true crime. I only want to skim around this because it's kind of deep. You got to go and read this documentation that these guys put forward. It is, it's kind of wild.

But you know, it took what was supposed to be kind of an open and shut case. And I don't know if it changes anything, but it definitely makes it a little bit more interesting. Now, this is about the Delphi, Indiana double murder that they're now calling, I believe they're just calling it the Delphi murders. And it is a Richard Allen, so far as a person who's been alleged

to have murdered 13 and 14 year old Abbey Williams and Libby German in 2017. Now, he said a bunch of shit, right? In jail, he technically confessed to the crime. He said to his wife, they believe they have recordings of him confessing or at least like mostly confessing. So they thought it was like pretty like, like, this is done. Yeah.

But it's defense. It's put forward. It's a hundred and thirty six page document that is basically it blows up his whole story and according to them It's a cult They got these guys came as a group of what they call odinous All right, which is I think is a new it's like a new fun like I think it's a good new way to call what it call a group of white people Yeah, but it is a Nordic white supremacist group that they believe that they have evidence for which I got to go through the memorandum as a thing as I was going through it.

Odin is Thor's father. Yes. Odin is like the creator God. There was a creator God. Well, I believe Odin the gods. I'm going to mess this all up. So I'm sorry. So LPL, GML.com.

If you're an agreeable Nordic lore expert, will you please give us the breakdown because they do believe that is he like the Nordic Zeus? Yeah. They all got something. They all got the all kind of have analogs. I also know that like I believe that Odin killed the old gods. It's like that crew who killed the group before them and the not now there and charge up. They, you know, since it's technically there was many things within, I believe the term is Al-Sutra, which is the name of their religion that that is kind of all embedded in. It seemed to be, it was really pretty for a while, but then a lot of white supremacists took the iconography and started using it on the round.

I'll see, I just think of, you know, Thor Ragnarok. That's where my brain goes. I didn't think, and that's the power of marketing. Yeah. That's just like literally that it's, Thor Ragnarok. That's where my brain got into it. And that's the power of marketing. Yeah. That's just like literally that it's called what? It's that. It's so they're like Anthony Hopkins fans. You know what?

Honestly, I think you're spending too much time in the city walk. I love the city. You are been, you are, I know. It's regularly make us hang out at the city. Well, it's, you know, it's just so close. I know, but the only got, it's like, you know, I guess I have to remember that's the only place where Margaritaville was. Yeah, Jimmy Buffett died. So we had to go to city. Yeah, that was fun. That's, you know, that was a fun

expression to do that. But that fucking I hate that stupid movie theater. Oh, it sucks. I hate that movie. They got the they don't let you bring the drinks into the theater. No, they make you drink them in like a pen. Every time I'm like, Every time I'm like, I feel like, yeah, I'm fine. That's my battle. I know what you do though. You order a shot. You wait until the not looking. You pour it in your soda.

You're like, oh, you go. You're going to fucking God. That was good. We got a checker blood. All right, I want to talk to you. Look at your blood. So now, the guys are putting together this whole story. The defense team is saying that the detectives overlooked

other clues and potential suspects because they were so concentrated on Richard Allen because he said that he did it. So now they're like, well, let's just go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, maybe this guy's a fucking moron. All right, let's think about some other ways. So they said it was the members of a pagan Norse religion called Odinism that was hijacked by way nationalists, ritualists that sacrificed Abigail Williams and Liberty, German, nothing, absolutely nothing links Richard Allen to Odinism or any religious cult the memorandum stated.

So that has to be true. He definitely has an alleged murderers fucking goatee on. If you could see Richard Allen here because he's got that it's that long. Okay. It's a very, very long one. You did a smaller version of a goatee for a while, but it was not that long. No, no, it was mostly just because I was bored.

You know, I had no, it had no odonism behind it. I'd never tied two sticks together my whole life. No, yes, because that was a part of it. They said that the bodies were decorated with sticks. They believe that one of them had something that was in the shape of an F that was apparently something attached to some room And then they also felt that they were sort of derogatory position so that they had

Sticks that made them look like a deer or like some kind of sacrificial animal which again not cool. Yeah Use an animal use an animal. Yeah, you don't need to sacrifice people when you can sacrifice an animal But we really don't know yet Whether or not this is real or not. We have not gotten to, I believe it's gonna start in January 8th of next year is when the trial is gonna come. Okay. So a lot of that's gonna get pulled out once it goes to the trial.

We now, we like, I prefer to talk about shit once it's in trial. Yeah. And then you can really get all the information, but I'm gonna read through this whole 136 page, fucking memorandum because that's what I like. That's actively what I enjoy to do. So I will eventually get to the bottom. Do you think Richard Allen did this, you know, tied sticks together and like built these like structures

like as I contribute to his cousin Ethan Allen? I mean, that went over my fucking head. Who's Ethan Allen? Ethan Allen furniture? Wow Wow holy shit Ethan Allen, how do you even pull that out? I was there was always an Ethan Allen. We got to get you out of the city Get in zone furniture in city, you're observing too many ads. I think that's the problem There's so many ads. Well, I'm a much television. You just watch the ads. I think that's the problem. There's so many ads. Why don't you watch television? You just watch the ads. Yeah, yeah.

I just like the words of the shows. Yeah. Wow. No, you know, he might have. It's might be an entire furniture based crime. And then he's just being like, no one wants to look at my Etsy. He said, there's a lizard, including the motion is a 92 numbered list, right? It's very graphic detail. Well, this crime is a ghoulish crime. And one of the things that they talk about is that they put a, they was runes drawn in blood, right? Well, we don't, we haven't seen that. We're exactly where that is yet. Okay. And they said, wow, they, they, they, they kind of say here, it seems as if a man

was working alone to do all these things. But here's the reason why we believe it took a group of people. And that they also were essentially, Richard Allen was put at the same time and scene of the crime, my videos at the victim's shop at the time. So we don't know. So we don't know what the else happened in here. I'm like, you did it. Yeah, you know, it don't look good. I think that he might need Tom Hiddleston. Yeah. You don't mean like if Tom Hiddleston. Yeah. You know, I mean, like if Tom Hiddleston comes out, mm-hmm. And he says, he's been like, well, there's guys, I know. All right. I first of all, calm down. Everybody loves me. Calm down. All right. It's me. Loki. No. I'm a god. I know. I'm the god of fucking mischief and cheat. But now I'm cool. Right. Everybody like now. I'm a fucking now is a hero.

He's what they do to every fucking villain, all these fucking stupid ass movies, right? And so the only one who's gonna save him is Tom Hiddleston himself showing up and saying, please, exonerate this man. Oh, Odin told us all to do it. And I did it. It's not on the right timeline, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Now all of this is gonna be red content. And so, yeah, we'll see what happens once the report comes to light. Now this next story, which one's this? You buddy, you get me, you sent me this story. Oh, this is one of my favorite stories I've seen in a while. Yeah. Last week, so a long time ago, we covered a guy named Richard Speck, right, who was a

mass murderer who killed 11 nurses in one night, but stabbed him to that horrible story, right? Yeah, but hebing them to that horrible story, right? Yeah. But he went into jail. And we went into jail. Apparently, he started having a really good time. And a documentary and crew got to go in there and took a bunch of footage. There's a famous interview of Richard Speck, where he, so he had found a love of male attention while in jail. Go figure.

Oh, you know, he just began it. You lean in. The one dude in the world that hates nurses, you know. That's so cute. Of course, of course he's fucking. Yeah, yeah. And so he went and he got himself some form of jail version of breast implants, right? Nice.

To help everybody's, I guess the fancy. What do you think they use like some other dudes ask. But the problem is that he looks like the guy that is Jigsaw. You know, the rest of them, yeah, ain't that hot. Yet too perfect brand new tits. It's like, blah, blah, like two apples. And then you look up and it's just drifters, like long gray beard, you know, like, and it's this documentarian shows this footage of him with this very CD looking gentleman next to him rubbing this

meat, the top of the fucking leg, rubbing off the top of the meat, and you watch him. And this is in jail. The regular take a picture of him. He's doing a rail cocaine. And then he's been like, hey, you know, if they knew how much fun I was having, they'd let me out. Yeah. And it turned out this documentary crew like exposed, it was just like these giant group orgies

that were happening side of the jail, which is just, I mean, on one level, I guess, like, okay, yeah, let them do it. You know, like love is love. Yeah, like, what else they do it? It's just sex. As long as they get their work done, I just feel like fuck. It's, I guess also we know now what I I didn't I had to learn

on this show. Yeah. Was that one of the main reason why like if a prison guard has sex with a prisoner like why it's considered a crime. It's because technically legally they cannot give consent. Yeah. While they are in jail. They are a ward of the state. And so they're not allowed to do that. They literally I believe and maybe you could tell me this truth. Is it true? You can't jerk off in jail? Uh, well, I didn't jerk off when I was in jail. I was only in there for four days. I was able to abstain. Thank you. But um, and that actually should be a big test. I think if you're in a cell by yourself, what's stopping you? If you're in a cell with one of the

person, you're probably going to do it. You guys social. I was in like a pot. You know, there was like five bunk beds. And I just have to be, I just don't know if I could be horny in jail. I imagine eventually you'll have to jerk off just to release all of that bullshit. Yeah. Anything but the constant fear. Yeah. No, no, no, no.

But yeah, no, we were like, it was like a pot of five, it was like five bunk beds, and then everyone, it was, it was almost like sleep away camp. Once I got with the non-violent people, it wasn't that bad. See, you know, like, he loved jail. Yeah, I know. He had larset built for jail.

So guy above, the guy above me, he didn't talk, he was weird, everyone's like, he's weird, be careful. I was like, all right, you know, and like, so I started, you know, talking them eventually, you know, and he just, at one point point he's like, just so you know, I what the bed. You want to switch? I was like, you know, we're sort of laughing and shit. I'm like,

let's switch, please. But I had also, I watched big her call the time because he took, he had this show that he used to do called Fresh Out The Pan. And he would talk about it apparently. It's not a good idea to be funny and jail. Oh, no. If people get mad at you for being, if you depend, or well, I guess you better be funny. Like they better be laughing. Well, yeah, I wasn't like, you can't go in there and like,

that's a good thing. I was doing material. I was answering questions in a humorous way. You know, I do not want to talk to anyone. I slept most, I slept like 15 hours a day. Yeah, I think that's probably a really good way to handle that.

Yeah. And then Reed, I was really upset when they, it was the opening night of football season when I was in jail. And everyone wanted to watch smallville. I think it's more cops. They all wanted to watch cops. It's just morbid fascination.

I also think partially it's just because football might cause some issues too. It's true. I've seen you got you men. I've seen you men with your football and you guys all mad at each other. I know this isn't the place for this. Dolphins, 70 to 20. I do. Great.

70 to 20, I mean, I thank God that you can keep your jerseys. I don't know what you do with the most points that any team has scored in 57 years. I don't know, man. Well, what have you done for me lately? That's what I say to the Dolphins. I haven't. You got to send me a gift. And then I'm on their side.

I'll tell you what, I mean, I'll say a gift. I'll buy you a picture. I want the dolphins to fucking get involved with my life. Help me. They don't, they're busy. Yeah, they got the road shit. So it brings us to our story. You send me this, this was fucking, this is crazy.

I gotta see this fucking movie. Yes. No, this is unbelievable. It's already being written, I'm sure. So Venezuela's Tocoron prison was raided. Now, apparently, now this shit's fucking movie. Yes. No, this is unbelievable. It's already being written, I'm sure. So Venezuela's Tocoran prison was rated. Now apparently, now this shit's fucking wild. I'm going to send the video to you and see you going to look at this. Yeah.

Because I want to do the tour through of this fucking. I truly, it looks like, for lack of a better word, it looks fun. So 11,000 troops, like literally 11,000 soldiers had to invade Toka Ron Prison in order to take how much we sent to Canada. Yeah, I guess that it's like that's how many times that's how we took back, was it, am we going at slow bidon, Malosavitch?

Who's that guy? I have no idea, but something that we did. He's not in charge anymore. Is this something, didn't have something to do. Is it there Ben Gazi? Where's Ben Gazi, you know, all this? Is she on Master? She married Tobin Quirr.

All right, here we go. So they went into Toch Run prison. They had to take it back. So this entire prison, I got taken over by a criminal outfit in Venezuela, known by the name of Trende Aragua, right? Which is apparently got, let's go. Like 2700 members, the world's biggest criminal,

but Venezuela's biggest criminal order. It's a dangerous place. It's intense, right? It's very, it's very dangerous upsetting place. I just, I haven't seen it show up on the like, take a trip to Venezuela, you know, they send those like Southwest emails or like $48, don't you want to go to train to Aragwaville?

You know what I mean? oh, sorry, I think. Um, this story, so they took over this entire prison. They had already reduced the population of the prison for 5,000 to 1500 just to keep it, but the heads of these gangs had taken over this entire prison and they installed a zoo, a casino, a Japanese themed nightclub called Tokyo. It's spelled differently. Yes, it has a pool and a fucking a supermarket and a daycare. It is an entire day.

They thought enough city. Yeah, they built a little sound. They built the fun. They were making babies inside. There was enough. There were families being made and constructed inside of the prison. It's his Venezuelan bush gardens. It was, it's incredible.

Look at that. I want to watch the video because you can really see the walk through of this entire thing. They had it go and need to blow it up. It is a mini city. The zoo itself was one of the most, truly one of the most elaborate things I've seen just a bunch of pictures. Tiger, lion, flaming flamingos crocodiles. It is crazy.

It had just literally put if you could see where he does embankments. Yeah, it's got no, they did a good job. Like I've seen like this is better than Tiger King suit for sure. Yeah, it is. It's better than half of the weird like alternate, an alt 19 like weird like we've lizard prisons that they have in but your my parents house. Like you look at it is the flamingos look well fed. Yeah, the Pigs. That means they're eating shrimp. Yeah, the pigs are like well fed. They're

all in the they're all in pens asleep happily. Um, then if you watch the body cam footage, it's just wild because they really do go through. You see how big this is. And so I know they have a movie theater than a zoo though. If I'm, of course, like I'm much right, the movie theater is going to get way more use than a zoo. Yeah, unless you're fucking these things. Or unless you're killing and meeting them. I also think this is more about, I guess this is more about kind of a clout.

They're not eating tigers and shit though. I don't know, but dude, look at the pool. The pool's incredible. The pool's faster than the pool. Well, I put in my parents house. Yes. The playground is like legit. It is a got a twisty slide. It's got, it's got the half of the off the lots. That's a lot of bullets. In here, if you look at this, have a full bar. But the, I guess where it started was,

was that they found out they had built these giant elaborate tunnels going in and out of the prison. So people would just come and go. People would just like they would go and do some time. Their families would come hang out. They built homes. They built homes for the present. It was like them at Hatton Project. Yeah. And they just did. It is crazy. Because the leader of the trend there, Raguay though, he somehow should run for president of Venezuela as well as I'm concerned. He got word that it was happening and he skipped out. He somehow just left, right?

Because apparently they were working with leaders inside of it. That's even how they got back inside. So they had a kind of negotiate with the guys inside, saying, hey, we're going to come in and kill everybody unless you guys stand down. By the way, the leader looks like he's like 17. He does look like he is 17 years old. It is very, and I'm scared of them.

Yeah, I'm scared of teenagers. Oh, nothing's scared of me than a group of 16 year old boys. No, because they're, yeah, they're terrified. They're filled with hormones. They don't know what death is. They have no concept of anything to lose. Yeah, and if I hit them, I go to jail. Oh, yeah, And they tell you

that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they know that they're using the most interesting in the world. Yes. Tootsie you stay away from them. No, tootsie don't. Tootsie. I just like you look so attractive. Tootsie. Why? What do you use older than this leader? Tootsie is, yeah, literally, it's physically older. It's not even a dog gears. It just look at the club. It looks like Tokyo's got like, it's got like me on. Yeah. How did you get me on lighting fixtures? It has a logo.

So what they hired someone to make designer. Yeah, there's a graphic designer called. I was like, yeah, sure, absolutely. And whatever it was like in Brooklyn. You know, I mean, like it is one of those where they are really. It's like a full, just a hipster graphic designer. So we're just, yeah, just a remote word. You don't have to like put a sign on the club.

Everyone knows where the club is because you're already in jail, right? You know what happens is they party there for so many years. They've been partying there and partying there. And at some point one of them turns the other one being like, what'd it be nice? We just had like a sign. Because then it would really feel like home.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like got done just murdering someone. He's like, we'll put up the sign, human. Hey, so much. So it's like, let me, oh, you know what, Warren said he did an incredible work. Warren Rurgrowski. Yeah.

If from Michigan, he's really doing incredible work. It's a team with the little like, you know, gravenginders a lot of times I have the class. I see that a lot with like DPs, guys who work it's up where they have the classes and have the, they're separated, but they have the magnet in between them

and they clip them. Yes. Yeah, they clip them off. And it's just that guy. And he's also like a fucking human trafficker. You know, but he knows how to use Photoshop. Then it's well, how do people have two careers like that? It's unbelievable. That's so difficult. human trafficker. You know, but he knows how to use Photoshop. Venezuela. How do people have two careers like that?

That's unbelievable. That's so difficult. I can't learn how to do Photoshop, but I'm just a comedian. And I don't have all the pressure of being a fucking gigantic cartel. Kappa. Imagine that. Whoa. But then you can just think about I guess,

I wonder if they have a lot of vacation time. What do they have down time? I feel like it's one of those. Why find here about crime all the time? Like people go in to quote unquote, to make easy money. It always kind of feels like it's much harder. Oh yeah, professional. Like, you know, like, take a long break, you know, you got to make someone get your collections

for you and you don't even know if they're stealing any of it. And that's the hardest part, right? It is again, it's a who's HR. Yeah. Yeah. How do we find any of these people? Is there a zipper cruder for these guys? Like, I, I, it's a who's HR. Yeah. How do we find in these people? Is there a zipper cruder for these guys? Like, it's just gotta be stressful.

Yeah. And I don't want any of that. I like peace. Look at Tutsi, right? We need a Tutsi, Kim. So look at the peace of Tutsi. Just so peaceful. You need this in your life.

Just staring directly into the grim reaper skull sockets. And just saying, yeah, just not caring at all. Does it know? Mm-hmm. You know, Wendy shouldn't blot right now. Yeah. So mine. Yeah, there you go. Hey, we know, like father like daughter.

Carmelita bit me four times last week. You guy think you deserve it. I walked by her. You got big thick ankles. Your glute, Carmelita is unfortunately allergic to glutes. Did she hurt you? Yeah, did you see that, see that Bruce? I, you know what you're doing.

That's fine, that's fine. I'm not leaving you, Lily. Well, you decide, if I get a mean, you decide, you pay me work on my fucking life. I should start doing that. I should start signing, having a website and releases as soon as they come to my fucking home. Yeah, if this dog bites you, it will live and you will leave. No, we can't let it, he can't break skin.

And we're getting there to a reactivity trainer. All right, which I also need. If someone could send one for, I was Adam to the fucking team. Yeah, man, it's nice though, because I got to yell, God damn it, Carmelina. Yeah, I know, that's my problem.

Which is nice. I feel like I'm yelling at the cleaning woman. I'm like, I'm actually like, Carmelina, get inside here. I feel like I'm yelling at the cleaning woman. I'm like, I'm actually gonna go to the carolina. Get inside here. Carolina outside. I wouldn't be like, everyone here can hear my neighbors. Just going like, why is he being so mean?

Why did you do that? She sounds lovely. She might have a grandchildren. God dammit, Carmel leader, you're shitting in the house. She better shit in the house. I think that she'd be on the toilet. Where are my papers? Where are my papers? You fucking quit showing your pussy to the sun. Honestly, Carmelita does do this thing where she goes out to sunbathe and because we she shows her chooch. She does the thing where she spreads her legs and just shows her chooch.

She's right up and deep. But I don't think it's good. I know I've heard that. Have you heard of that concept? What? It's not sundowning. That's what my father's doing. Oh, someone puts their ass hole into the sun. It's called, um, oh, no need.

They get energy through that. They don't have to eat. What's the no-ne? The no-ne? I don't know. Yeah, it's something. Yeah, it's the showing your butthole to the, I'm going to just show this in.

Tie your butthole to the sun. I mean, it's not like worse than there we go. Yeah, just shunning your asshole. Yeah, it's something. Yeah, it's the showing your but hold to the, I'm gonna just gonna show you the whole to the sun. I mean, it's not like worse than there we go. Yeah, the sunning your asshole. Yeah, yeah, that's a corgi, but perennium sunning. I That's oh, yeah, that's just a tank gold didn't mic. Yeah, you have a solar panel between your asshole and your balls. Now if I did that on the balcony of my apartment, is that allowed? Not an L.A. I mean, opposite, only an L.A. Yeah.

Only an L.A. Because again, we believe in wellness here. Yeah. And that's not a crime to show your butthole over there as long as you have to do show a, like a side that says something like, I think I ran to. I pay rent here. Or something like, you know, this is my safe space area where I show my buttocks. That's the tattoo I'm gonna get on my ass.

I pay rent here. I pay rent here. But we always wanted to bless this mess. Oh, it's a tramp stamp. I'm your play. Talking about bless this mess. All right, now let's get it just like this is less, I mean, I don't know if it's less serious,

but I love this fucking story. What is this? All right, so now get it just like this is less I mean, I don't know if it's less serious, but I love this fucking story What is this all right now this guy that honestly? I'm gonna say right now he looks familiar and I'm praying to Christ I don't know all right I think the name sort of looks I just think he looks like five guys. I know who is it? It's so this is Joseph Severn the the headline is great Naked man with pooh smeared face seen hiding in bush as bizarre eight minute police chase comes to an end.

Wow. Yeah, because. Let me see his face. Can you show me his picture? He just sort of looks like every British guy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like 10 people we know mixed together. Yes, which is I'm so old all you guys.

He kind of looks like Grant Gordon a little bit. Don't I'm don't do this to Grant. Well, I mean, he's not him. We know it's not him. He was with us. That's right. I have seen him recently I mean, it's not him. We know it's not him. He was with us. That's right. I have seen him recently. Yeah.

He was not on stoke on trend any time soon. I exonerate him. All right. He was not there. He's a good man. He's a good honest man. All right. So here we go.

Here's a story. Now, apparently Joseph Severin had been with. Oh, lady. Good for him. It didn't go well. And so they broke up. It was a bit of a very bad for him. And you say, you know what I also think, honestly, his activity afterwards didn't help anything. Yeah, what do you do? So he, so they broke up. And so it didn't have good terms. And so

according to prosecutor Jonathan Dixon, this is according to Stoke on Taylor's life. Oh, prosecutor Jonathan Dickinson. She said that several, he went into his exes flat, so his apartment in Natalie Green and he was uninvited the Saturday, January 28th of this year. Now, the claimant said that inside, you're all of a sudden she was inside. She heard her bathroom door open and close and she's like, Hey, me. What's going on? What's happened?

So she goes to the bathroom. She heard the showers going. She's like, me, what's going on? What's happened? So she goes to the bathroom. She heard the showers going. She's like, okay, what's going on? She opens the door to a site that I think would make most people be truly upset, which is she saw her contentiously ex-boyfriend nude covered in fatties sitting inside the covered. You know, they say, you know, I feel like they were a bit liberal with the word covered because I've seen a lot of fizzies.

I've seen some covered. I know covered, right? Marcus, you should show videos back in the day, especially on the old stream of this guy that used to wear it a full scuba suit and go down into his fucking septic tanks and cover himself in liquid diarrhea. I mean, wear a scuba suit like and cover himself in liquid diarrhea. I mean, we're a scuba suit, like, and literally just soak in it.

All right, I mean, so it seems safe. That's covered. But you know what I mean? That's a lot, again, I'm different. Yeah, I have different parameters. You know, one poop smeared all over my body. I wouldn't say could cover my whole body. But you know, probably bigger than this guy.

But it's also different again. If you're actively smearing poop all over your body, I just give you, I would say, yeah, he's covered in it. Yeah, because I'm not touching you. I'm not looking for the white spot, you know, to like touch in there. All right, so here we go. So she told me he was coming in. He was, um, he was, she's no over bathroom for a get out.

So I mean, she said she actually saw him. She obviously she was very upset, shouted at him, said to get the fuck out. And then she was going upset, shouted at him, said to get the fuck out. And then she was going to call the police. He then said, Hey, wait, hey, what if we have sex one last time? Again, not a good way to see that up. No, you got it. Yeah, you should have asked for you covered yourself and shit.

Nice card. I mean, that even, that's not enough. That's a cow cuss, man. The flowers smell like poo poo. You can take that that's not enough. That's a cow cusp and the flowers smell like poo poo. You can't smell like poo poo poo. But again, at least shit covered flowers are flowers. It's a gift and not a human not a human because and he can't because that and he was naked. Yeah, yeah, because I go maximum impact.

He's decided he's sending a message. And so he went in. She yelled at me left. I obviously tried to have sex. Third, she said, no, which is then he was like, ah, because you can see him go like, oh, for sure this would work. Hey, can't blame me for one more time.

And so all of a sudden, and then he just jumps out the window. But when he jumped out the window, he stole her bubble bath at the same time. Well, he had to clean himself. No, he did not. No, no, no cleaning was yet attempted. So he He's not. No, no, no. No cleaning was yet attempted.

So it jumped out the thing and so they found him. They're these she calls the cops and the cops cop. And they're like, he's like, he is very much so obviously down the street because he is naked, govern shit. And it's so gone. This is not not to be anything. Love our Detroiters. It's not Detroit.

I mean, this is like little cute dumb little England, right? Like you're walking around, it's nice little houses. There's the pub. You see a thing with a bulldog on it. And then all of a sudden you see a naked man covered in feces. He's not blended in. It's not downtown LA.

Yeah, well that's only, that happens in Liverpool I think. I talked a little bit about this. How Liverpool is I've never seen so many children drunk. In Liverpool, like, it felt like you remember in Liverpool was I talked about this on a show a couple times. You remember in Pinocchio? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When he goes to the where they all turn the donkeys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it felt like. Was it was a paradise island or whatever? I forget the name of it. like was it was a paradise island or whatever I forget the name I think it was paradise island, but it feels like that seed where it's like the kids are drunk

Dangerous fucking and each one of them's like it's this weird. They're all acting like they're all adults Everyone's nights 18 maybe, you know, yeah, what do you think they did with those donkeys like the kid donkeys and Pinocchio? I think they put them to work. Yeah, they all became, yeah, they all just started working, right? Oh, yeah. So technically it's like they became adults. They went and partied and told something they became adults. Fuckin' Italian.

He's fuckin' Italian. That's how I fuckin' do. But then you go to Italy, no one's working. Yeah, that's cause I got all the donkeys. You used to be a giant. It was a naughty giant. I'm a mechanic on. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, content. Dude, it is what that is a really crazy story. The fact that like he like a sad ass japano. I mean, his kid died his wife died his fucking, do you know how they explained

how spoil alert? Well, he's in the new Pinocchio. Isn't it all it's like it's about like, you know how his kid died? Yeah. His kid was bombed in a church by the Nazis. Got you out of there. That's why I don't believe. You know, I was fucking whoa. That's like, that's what's going on here. I hate this sad motherfucker. It's just praying to a star. Ever since fucking Roberto Benini, you will never get me to consume a piece of

Pinocchio content. I hate Pinocchio. He fucking is wild. It's really good. He wakes up. There's a talking puppet in his house. Yeah, I know. And he's just like a role that he's it wakes up. There's a talking puppet in his house. Yeah, I know. And he just sends it to school.

He's traumatized. He's traumatized. He's immediately late, but also kind of shows how hard fatherhood is. He immediately, he's like, can I do you? You gotta get to learn something. It's like, can't be with you all day.

Yeah, you're gonna be a boy, you go to school. I'm a weird old puppet maker. Okay. I can't have you hanging around. I can't be hanging, I'm gonna ruin my butt. Also, that fish is trying to fuck up. I, it was, there maker. Okay. I don't have time for that. I get a hang of it. I get a hang of it. I'm gonna ruin my butt. Also, that fish is trying to fuck up. I, it was, there's a lot of it.

The fish was always, yeah, I forget its name, but it was always like giving them eyes and had eyelashes and like. There was just more flirty. It was more things flirted with children and content back in the day. Well, no, the fish I think was trying to fuck Chepeto, not, not Pinocchio. Pinocchio is still technically not real. It was a puppet. So I think technically you could fuck it.

Oh Cleo. Cleo. That's right. That fucking honestly again, beautiful eyes, more power to the fish. You know, flirt with the cano. Do it girl, work it girl. He got a job girl. Come on.

So let me finish this story. All right. You know what I'm talking about Pinocchio? No, you will because I want to get to the best part of the story. All right. All right. So again, he's sticking out like a man covered in shit in the middle of England, right? And so he was walking down the street and the cops from him and he's hidden in these bushes. All right. So they get it in there like and he had found a jacket somewhere and he put it on and they found that he had feces covered his face in his mouth.

I guess in a really literally to disguise himself like thinking he put it on and they found they had feces covered his face in his mouth. I guess in it to really literally to disguise himself like thinking put it in his mouth. Yeah. He put it all his lips and stuff. And so all of a sudden they they were like, all right, I try to get him. And they found out that in there he was fully erect inside of the bush, getting very difficult prickly leaves, right? Yeah. Fully erect inside of the bush, jerking off with the bubble bath, right?

That he is stolen. They went to go get him, turned out, not only had he been masturbating with the fucking bubble bath, but in, which is, I, honestly, I haven't seen this, probably since Donald Duck, right? And he had covered himself in the stuff. In the bubble bath.

He loves, this guy loves covered himself. I think that he decided like, this is my thing., he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he loves, he went, he's like a bar of soap in a like an old tiny Mickey Mouse cartoon. That's amazing. They went and he couldn't do it. They flip around. They finally got him. It took eight minutes to pin him down. That's how slippery he was.

That's how long the Benny Hill theme is. I do realize I love this. So Courtney and Mr. Dickinson, a whole incident lasted around 80 minutes. It was all caught on body-worn cameras, and he made several attempts to start masturbating during the chase. And make a... Get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me, get me Yeah, we'll see you next time. You fucking big, you're so... Ha, ha, ha. And then at the very end, and while he was finally put in handcuffs, he made an attempt

to insert a finger up his anus. That's the worst thing. I feel like, did he think it was an eject button? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like, think about that. Maybe he was trying to get more poop out. I Yeah, if we're applying logic. Yeah, you know, you've heard that that's where the poopoo is You know, I mean it definitely was just I love the idea that you're finally arrested and you're like

Yeah, I can still come Just trying to create his own phone party. I just don't, yeah, blue and, and bath gel and shit. And then you know, because my dad used to sort of talk about this a little bit vaguely back today about how like, it's like, then you gotta go, you gotta clean out the fucking car. Yeah. Cause he's all over fucking, everything's all over your clothes. And then, you know, you got, you got the rest of your fucking shift. And you can see him just starting around. I can't, you know, I can't tell all my mistress.

I can't tell you what I'm doing. fucking everything's all over your clothes. And then you know, you got the rest of your fucking shift. And you can see him. It's just like, I can't, you know, I can't sell out my mistress. When you believe. I don't know, I don't know if he had time for mistress. But okay, so now, so I just love the idea what he acts. So he's one final booth. I do think it was an attempt to poop who hard.

Yeah, or maybe just come, you know, and so finally he did really, he did bite an officer, which you know, happens. So they had to go, they go, but then now apparently that sometime has passed and he's had some time for this to settle. He recognizes the position he's in. Now this is according to this, the new, the new, the new, the man, and he is genuinely remorseful. He regrets his actions and has assured me that none of this was sexually motivated. He recognized this is a unpleasant incident. You get it. You just don't see. You're being hidden. He's not sexual. It's about freedom. Okay. Remember that? Remember that song?

Freedom. That's what this is about. Okay. Right? This was not a situation according to the barrister. This is not a situation. Yeah, but he was British. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. He just had wide stance. Yeah. He just was the world's widest stance tap dancer that anybody has ever seen. You remember that? No. That scandal? No. Well, the stuff by who's having all the gay, he was having seen. You remember that? No. That scandal? No.

Well, the stuff by he was having all the gay, he was having gay sex and the bathrooms and stuff. Yeah, I mean, of course he put, but he was like, yeah, it's George Michael. Yeah. He's hot. So, what do you think he's doing? That's awesome.

Like, kind of being gay. Freedom. Yeah, it's true freedom. Yeah, you're having so much of that. Yeah, we were all so incredible. It's incredible. But he said the situation according to the barrister, the reply, is that why they're called WAM?

Yeah. Love that fucking Christmas song. So he says, I love this. I love this again, because he said there was no planning in this. Oh, really? Oh, you feel you? It was on impulse. And in terms of the damage, it was limited to nominal. Yeah, I think it literally, yeah, because he definitely ripped a curtain and you just,

you know, the rest of it, you can clean with a hose. Yeah. Not the trauma, though. I don't think that goes away quite with a hose. Um, he said, I, I said that my client said it wasn't sexually motivated. He does have an explanation, which sounds like boardroom. And he is aware it is unlikely to assist you on, but he said he simply wanted to wash their concerns with mental illness.

Yes, but he knows that he faces a prison sentence today. So he's being jailed for 21 months and he's also handed a three year restraining order. And then he's also in a sex offender's list, which are probably all of what she does. Yes, absolutely. But I also, and then in her quarter, these fucking British people are just so pleasant. Yes, this is a very unpleasant incident. You behave in a rather peculiar manner,

but it was also very offensive. If you breach the restraining order, the notification order, you will be back here in front of this call to get, which is true. So I just hope that lady rents. So also just like, I just love this. I have her one is basically talking about being a reptilian. If you look at the comment line saying, he's a reptilian, I just think he's

fucked up. I don't think it. No, and my history of hearing him, I reptilian, I never heard of them covering themselves in shit. No, they eat the pain of fucking dead babies that are provided by the CIA. Yeah, they don't cover themselves in shit. No, not anymore. They would definitely not go anywhere near bubble bath. Oh, they hate bubble bath. Honestly, reptilians only, they eat bad vibes.

Yeah. That's a whole thing. So it's like again, it's more so like, they would think this guy is kind of, I think in the end they were like, this is kind of too goofy. Like we actually need more, like you know, massive human trauma that it will allow us to feast

and exist in multi-dimension across the universe. It's pretty thing he's part pig. Hmm. Oh yeah. Like a pig man, maybe that. Well let's get to another story. This fucking we we got stories. I love I love stories. And that's what this whole show is about. Isn't it? Here it says, all right, there's another good dumb one. Okay.

All right, here we go. This fucking guy. I want to remind everybody if you have a just maybe a good thing for audience, and I don't always like we don't like to what do we say? We don't want to help criminals, if you have a, just maybe a good thing for our audience. And I don't always like, we don't like to, what do we say? We don't want to help criminals. No. Right. But just practical advice.

If you have a fucking location, bracelet on, set a reminder on your phone. Yeah. You know what I mean? You need to put it a post it note. Take it off. You just understand that you got, if you have a are on house arrest,

that thing is gonna tell people where you are. Right? That's the whole thing. They just, you really put it on you. You're gonna wanna stay in the moment on that too, because if you go on a flight of fancy like this, man, dude, you're gonna be very much arrested again. Now, this story is again about an idiot,

which is, you know, they're not thinking about this man. That's a nice way to say it. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, an idiot, which is, you know, they're not. That's a nice, that's a nice way to say it. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, an idiot and a bastard. So there's a North Carolina man. This comes from the daily beast. North Carolina man, my name of Melvin Amde. 41 years young. You say getting into custody in Georgia on Sunday

after a traffic stop and a subsequent motorcycle crash because then he realized that this man had tried to fake his own death. And then his location tagged little like his home arrest ban told everybody that he still alive. All right. So he decided he was supposed to be in court. He was doing court.

This man, my name Melvin MD, he was allegedly face charges of indecent liberties with the child, which I'm not even certain what indecent liberties mean, but I don't think it's good. And statutory rape of a job, right? And so he, the day that he was supposed to be in court, and Melvin Amnies mom called the police. And she was like, I know it is an incandescent time. But an as simple say of miserable happenstance. My son died in a kayaking incident earlier today, right?

And so she means that he fell off the kayak on the Mississippi River and he drowned like the guy from who's the guy that they they singer. Oh, oh, oh, that drowned in the Mississippi. Oh, yes. Grace. Jeff Buckley. Jeff Buckley. Jeff Buckley.

Very similar. Yeah. Very similar guys. And so he fell into it. He said he died, right? And the cops let's just liberally turn them and use the, they didn't buy it, right? They're like, but he was doing jail today. Like he was due today to start the processes.

And he was like, I know, it's just crazy, what God, the miracles that go both ways with God, right? It's just like on his way to prison, he's like, you know what? I'm a tech guy actor. I, you know, I gotta take my fucking kayak. He's like, he's gone as well. He's getting, he's like, all right, I got my gum.

I got my keys. What else do I need to put? You know what, that kayak has been sitting gathering cobwebs this whole fucking time. And I guess I was too busy attacking children to really take that out on the fucking waves. But you know what, I'm gonna guy, I gotta get in there, right? And so he gets it, so.

It's also like 350 pounds. He is not getting in a kayak. I don't So it's also like 350 pounds. He is not getting into kayak. I don't think he's kayak shaped. Yeah. A kayak and I will explain as a person who is a big wasted man. He's a pontoon bokeh. He is a Chevy suburban man. He's a large man, right? kayak is hard. I will say, I mean, I don't know. I'm going to see you kayakers side stories LPL, TLL Gmail.com. How fat is too fat for a kayak? Please tell me if you know. But he just seems like it was too convenient.

So the cops were like, all right. They know he's ran away, right? So we're gonna have to figure this out. So they didn't want to tell them that we knew and they were like, absolutely. You know, we got you. Don't we? So sorry for your loss.

We're seeing it the funeral. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they found out obviously not because Immediately the day that he died quote unquote, he was at Walmart with his ankle monitor on yeah, buy in burner phones It's very kind of productive. It's just You gotta remember guys. You gotta fucking remember just cameras the cameras have for you The anchor monitor is telling the exactly where he's going. If you just straight up behind a burner phone, you could know your buying the fucking burner phone.

It's not, you can't explain it away. They have the serial number to it, never they. It's, doesn't go, it's not anonymous. It's just a phone. They can find all of the shit, right? Again, I'm not trying to help criminals. It's just annoying. It's just so stupid. And so

there were like, then found her immediately. It was kind of funny because they put up a whole like the family put up a Facebook post holding them like our beloved Melvin. He has died. And we owe him. Yeah. He sunk his apparently. It wasn't so much. He slipped out of it, but slipped through it. Now, I have never seen, we actually thought that the weight of the water itself, he was so non-boing that the sheer, well, obviously, there's some quantum mechanics, they're kind of getting here. We're actually kind of concerned about, we think he might have been a source of very valuable zero point energy. And we have never, he was a mini black hole. And we did not know know it could be contained within the folds of a man from North Carolina. And honestly, we're sending that immediately to UNC to talk about how incredible this is.

But he is a fucking, it's fucking guy. And so yeah, kind of went apart. So he knew enough not to use a cell phone and get a burner phone, but not take his ankle monitor. You're walking around with it on, you're fucking, it hurts too. I bet I actually don't know. I have no explanation.

I'm in a circulation. He's so fat, but maybe you couldn't see his feet. You knew because he's so fat. You knew people in house arrest, right? Yeah, a couple. Does the bracelet not hurt? I never heard that complaint.

I know you can't get it off. I feel like at some point, yeah, it's your like, if this is my issue, where are we at? Right, yeah, I'm on house arrest already. Yeah, I'd be like, you're gonna be itchy. So you had to put cream on her or whatever. And so, may have been easily found them. They basically trail went cold though.

They'd go, because you know, you can't just run. It's very difficult. I didn't gonna find you. And then obviously they found a motorcycle without a license plate. There was driving in Georgia over the weekend. It caught the attention of the Georgia State Patrol because it was driving erratically again. And it was so fat on a motorcycle. You're like, my God. I can't believe it. Is that a buyer? It looked like one of those twins from the Guinness Book of World Records. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and they would be on a scooter. Yeah, I just called two fat ladies. Okay, good. And they would just be, they were very sweet.

I actually loved this show, but they used to go everywhere on a tandem, this one, this tandem motorcycle. Oh, I love that. They were great. They were really, really fun. I definitely want to hang with them. Oh, sad.

Oh, sad. The first thing it says, the two fat ladies, they love each other. No. Why would they ride the same motorcycle? You have to go look at it though. Honestly, two fat ladies, the show was actually really wonderful. And they have a, an almost palatable restaurant in Glasgow. Okay. I went, it's actually was pretty good. So the end of this story is, is that they arrested them because it was pretty easy. He tried to flee, they caught him, they picked him up on foot.

And then they were so, honestly, it's a lot of times that the cops, they were so glad to see who's alive. Yeah. Because they were so worried. Because they were used to, like they had already had a whole collection going and they had the flowers, ravaging and stuff. The search is still on for the kayak Malaysian plane went down

See some hero the week the hero the week This guy I don't know if he's like a hero as much as they never are yeah, every time we've covered one They've never been one, but he is a hero to himself and he is a hero to his pet. And that's all you can honestly in this fucking life. That's all you can be. I'm just looking what you're doing. Literally as you're speaking your You are cradling this. You don't have children. No, no, both of us like this. We have she's got a little shirt on. You can't even see she's wearing a snap queen because she likes to take naps. Yeah, of course, it's a dog. She's asleep. But also it's a time. So I've seen tootsie just fucking walks around like a jail guard. Oh, I want to get her a fit bit. I want to find out how far she's walking because she's really just keeps going. She looks tight. Yeah, I was

looking at her the other day and I was like, damn, Gino. Yeah, she's got lumps. Where's Camer? I point, look, she's got this big lump right here. It's okay, though. It's just like a fat sack. Yeah, good. So she's fine. Can you show yours? Where you're at? Yeah, he has your second. You guys legal for me to show mine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So this guy, he looks like a fat sack. He, Dave Brooker, he is, he's quoted and saying, I take my two year old pet turkey with me everywhere, even the pub. She's like my child. He's 56 years old.

I'm not annoying. The turkey's name is trouble version two, T which is he T2 which is you know, Maybe the greatest sci-fi film I would put a argue I would be in there. Yeah, I think I'm gonna get back that argument. Yeah, sure, but he I he looks like a turkey You know what they say this a lot about owners and their pets. Yeah, they look the same you begin to start to morph Yeah, yeah, yeah, he fucking wow. Yeah, they look the same you begin to start to morph right into your head. Yeah, he fucking wow. Yeah, yeah I didn't even really think about that. He's got a thick shit. He's got a thick throat. Wow a bald head and is yeah He just he he looks like a human turkey. I'm gonna do this

He's fucking this turkey. You think so look at I'd be impressed. This is too intimate. I don't think he's Not in a bad way again. I'm not gonna sing it Don't fucking eat go on its back. I should roll. Thank you for being pregnant. Honestly, no, he loves this turkey. I'm sorry. He saved his life. You know, it was a baby turkey and it's just the way he got his arm around it. It's like it's like it's like they're on a date. I know he loves it though. Which I understand. I cuddle with Wendy and I do the thing. I fucking got her all wrapped up in my arms all the time. You know, he brought the, he brought the turkey to the dentist and he made the receptionist watch it. Like that's how nice people are when they just like nice.

That's too nice. I'm not just showing up somewhere. I wouldn't imagine. I wouldn't put, I wouldn't make anyone that worked in the studio watch to see. She's on my lap. That is your yes. And I'm just showing up somewhere. I wouldn't imagine. I wouldn't put, I wouldn't make anyone that worked in the studio watch Tootsie. She's on my lap. Daddy's your yes, of course. You know, like, but this guy brought his turkey to the dentist and had the balls to tell his, to tell the receptionist to watch the turkey

and then she claimed she loved it. Well, of course, I think it's, but yeah, he's like kissing the turkey. Yeah, he doesn't eat turkey on Christmas dinner anymore because he loves his turkey so much. So it's two years no turkey. Oh god, yeah, this is, this is really cute. Yeah, no, I don't eat turkey anymore.

I used to, but now, not with my pet turkey. We've been oxalb meena dog. What, when you keep an animal, it's quite odd. Maybe if you're a farmer, you could switch stuff to it, but I'm a bit of a softie. Turkeys are interesting birds. Look at your stalk. Yeah. T2 is my little velociraptor.

And that's cute because then you got one on your side. What troubled me about this is I didn't know this. He feeds it sausage at the park. And I was like, I didn't know. He feeds it Scotch's egg. Yeah, Scotch's egg. Scotch's egg. And with sausage on top of it.

And it's just like it, Turkey shouldn't be eating sausage. You know, like, you know, like bugs maybe, you know, like a worm show no idea. But like, like, Turkey's are not supposed to eat a mammal. I don't know. I don't, that's that's the part of the whole story that kind of bothers me. Or eggs. You know, like, yes, it does seem like eating a boredon fetuses. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Where'd you get it? I'm not against. I've been to error one.

You know, like that is what they do there. All right. But it's like, if you look at this, it's like she sees, she's very well-baved. At the pub, she sits on a blanket and stays there.

I'm like most dogs who'd run around. You sit down with a packet chasing onion crisp and she's happy. That's a very time, very sociable well, well behaved, she doesn't want to off. She lets people pat her. I call off and I'll be feeding her and test her out, cop off and kids will come over and adults, you know, and it helps people think a turkey's in different ways. And he's like, basically his job is like, he's an Instacard driver, basically.

Yeah. And he's like their version of an Instacard driver. And he said that he's had anxiety his whole life and the turkey helps alleviate it. And that's what you fucking need to do in this life. Oh, sure. I'm down with that. Sure.

I saw a bunch of wild turkeys when I was in Tennessee. Recently, that was pretty fun. Yeah, I've seen some fucking wild turkey. I'm gonna laugh and destroy it. Destroy it early. And immediately all the comments are like shove it in the oven. Yeah, every comment to kill it. He needs a girlfriend.

Give me the turkey. Just let the man have his fucking turkey. I think one turkey can die of natural causes. You know, like it's fine. It's it's it's every year we choose one. Yeah. Right. Isn't there?

There's a one that's pardoned every year for Turkey. Yeah, you know, every year. I know. And then remember when, uh, everyone Bloomberg killed the groundhog. Yes. Oh, no, was it Bloomberg. And then remember when, uh, remember when Bloomberg killed the groundhog? Yes. Oh, no, was it? No, it was, uh, no, the guy after Bloomberg. The blasio.

He dropped the good. He killed the groundhog. Got groundhog. What's, what do you mean? What do you mean? What about the horrible weather ever since? The problem is the last time Biden, he, he parked in Turkey last year,

and then it went on to apparently. Turkey did a bunch of like weird dealings with Ukraine on the side. Right? I did not know. Have you seen the the glirky lurky the dossier? Glirky Turkey. Have you seen the glirky lurky dossier? These people, this nepotism needs to stop. Where is the turkeys laptop? Where is the turkeys laptop? I want to know what's on glirky lurky laptop. Because that's what it is. It's a cover up. The grown things on the fucking rug. All right, I got some letters here.

I got some listener letters. All right, I got some, I got a feedback. So we last week, Marcus and I talked a little bit of the Peruvian alien mummies. And we got it to hard into the hoax side of taking the people and made it up. Now recently there was a study, this radiologist that I guess fairly famous came out and was

fun his name. Um, and said, I've done a new test on these little mommies. And there is an entire, they believe that there is an entire skeleton that they, they are a part of an entire little skeleton. Oh, so they might have as three fingers, they said, weird circular like ribs. This just kind of happened. And they said that whatever it is, they could possibly be some kind of whole just, uh, it's, it is a whole skeleton. It's not just a collection of bones. Okay. We know that it's over a thousand years old. These mummies, we don't quite know what they are, but I got a really interesting letter from an archaeologist.

It just has a theory. I thought it was interesting. So, like, it's a sound like it. Are they wrapped? Well, they're, it's the way, how are they mummified? I'm not quite certain. I believe that they're covered in like clay. Okay. Right. But this is what he says. This is what you, they say. While this is in most recent episodes of Side Stories, I was excited to hear you talk about the Peruvian alien mummies that have been cropping up. My main area of study is Peruvian archaeology. And I actually use the guy a video of Maria when I teach my intro to archaeology of the course, right? The major questions we ask are,

what techniques are being used in this video to give the impression of credibility, what doesn't add up based on what we've learned so far? So it's like talking about these Peruvian alien mummies. So what is it about? What is it about that that makes sense? And what doesn't? The unfortunate thing about these so-called alien mummies. So what is it about? What is it about that that makes sense? And what does it? The unfortunate thing about these so-called alien mummies,

alien mummies, right? Which again, I think is still interesting. You see, the DNAs, now that they recent, they was a little skeleton. So I was like, okay, now that's kind of, that's something else that's happening here. So there this persistere is, they're most certainly the mutilated remains

of ancient Peruvians. Momentification is a long history in Peru and the surrounding countries. And some of the oldest mummies in the world, like the Chinchoro mummies, being found in northern Chile, the Chinchoro mummies are particularly cool, so they often give in clay mass and then make them look like creepy dolls. It's kind of part of the, you see, they put a little mask on them in the heart of time, right? The area isn't far from southern Peru,

where the Nazca Lines are found. As I mentioned, and many of these reports of alien mummies. So they think that these Nazca Lines, would you have ever heard of the Nazca Lines? No. They are giant artworks that are in various places in South America.

It's in Peru. And it's these giant carvings that look like animals that you can see like this giant monkey thing. It's like hundreds of miles across. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're saying that's kind of where they find some of these mummies or in these areas. Well, yeah, they're ultra artistic there.

Yes, and I also think a part of it was like, you know, it had some kind of meaning, right, and we had kind of lost the time. Yeah. So the most recently alien mummies, these new ones, at all real, a hot shooter, or listener,

a hot shit. A hot shit. A peer to where clay mass, like chinchotto mummies, and would likely be mummies of infants. I think they might be figurines though. He's not sure. Okay.

Like Gaias Maria, they are tridactyl, possessed elongated craniot and appear to be covered in clay plaster material. Most experts believe that hoax creators removed fingers from Maria and used the extra bones to make the remaining fingers extra long. This is what makes her x-ray so compelling. To cover the damage done, she was likely covered in plaster, new plaster, the rigidity and sturdiness seen in the video of her make me think it's modern plaster clay and not an ancient application as you've seen in some chinchoro mommies. A recurring cultural feature in this region is cranial deformation.

This is how some mommies have been found to have elongated cranial because they shake their heads as a kid. I think they might be dead kids. Yeah. Yeah, it's old Zika babies. Old Zika babies. That's honest. And old Zika babies actually going to be opening up for us at the LPN Beach

Bike at Pingo Hey, they're gonna be incredible. I love these guys hold Zika Great fan name. Yeah, I love it I have a question about old Zika no, no, where's Zika? Yeah, where's Zika? I haven't heard of that in a long time. Body parts disposal. Oh, what do you do with them? Now, here we go.

This is it. We ask these questions because we try to figure out where the hell they're all like, where were your dad's old feet? Oh, that's a great, actually, that's a great question. So Marcus is correct. Body parts are incinerated. If they are not included with the remains of the deceased, once a pathology lab or the

OR no longer needs a body part. It is double bagged and red bio hazard tags tied with goose neck knots placed in a red bio hazard tote bin, victim by a contractor for offside incineration. Also certain hospitals have incinerators. Yeah. So they do that shit. And you know, and then apparently according to some depending on your state laws, you can even request if you want your shit back, some places they'll give it to you. That's great. So if you lose your, it does because if they be like, that's my damn foot.

Yeah. Like give it back. You'd be like, yes, you can have a weird man. You can have your foot back. I remember, uh, when I was a kid, my mom used to work as like an intake person at the emergency room. My dad was at a town. I'd have to go hang out with her over there. And, uh, the one day this dude came in and he was holding his eye in his hand. And he had my mom had to like do the intake with him like ask from fur as like insurance. It's like that. You don't want to put that in your your non dominant hand. And then I remember everything was he was like really calm obviously in shock and all that shit. Yeah. And then I remember he was totally fine until some other nurse tried to take the eye from him and then he fucking lost it.

Oh yeah, that. And got like, and he just like started flailing all over the emergency room. I don't know about you. My eyes, super crucial. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, very attached. You know, I understand. You're like, don't take my fucking eyes. You're gonna be like, bro, what are you gonna do with it? You're popping your mouth? You're like, no, bro, it's done.

If it's been out of multiple hours, it's done. Fried up. Crack it. Here's one last little story. There's more stars. I mean, one more. Is this a listener or a story? Yeah.

Okay. Well, I live in Northern England. And a few weeks back, I took my wife and kids. I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. And I jerked off at my gloves. I covered my face.

I covered my face. And I jerked off at my gloves. I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. I jerked off at my gloves.

I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. I covered my face. I took my wife and kids who were a fun family day out to chilling in McAllister Castle, chilling ham. Woo. Ooh. That's how we chilling ham. Yeah, it's good. What are we talking about here?

That's a big, good sunglasses. Yeah, it's like having a great time. We don't care about your history. That's not true with whatever. Right. It's beautiful 13th century castle. Some people living on the site since the Stone Age. The main reason we went is because we widely believe

it is one of the most haunted places in the UK. Anyway, while exploring the torture chamber with my family, my seven year old daughter repeatedly asked me, what's that blue light? Fucking frightening. I have of course ignored her obviously because I love her because she is annoying and she doesn't stop talking.

Later, she told us about the blue lights that she didn't see moving in the corner of the room and again, I didn't really pay much attention. On the way out, we obviously exited through the gift shop. And while the kids wanted their, there's shit plastic swords or whatever, I got a book, this is his person right, it's not me.

I got a book about the castle's history and sightings. That's when I found that the most commonly seen ghost is a blue lighter or that is referred to as the blue boy. Oh, nobody other than my seven year old that had seen the light. We were the only people in the torture chamber at the time and she had no way of knowing this beforehand. I don't know if she's seen a ghost or has a future as a ghost buster,

but this is the closest thing to a paranormal experience I've ever been a part of. No matter how much I want to see a ghost, me too. I'm the same way. It's kinda crazy. These kids, they see scary shit. Well, kids see scary shit. Well kids You see scary shit and then like you imagine if a kid ghost that would like to see another kid

I told you about my similar story to this. Oh, save it. We got a lot of spooky time this year. Okay, we're gonna Wait, we got it. I don't want to get too spooky today because we're about to go on October. Yeah, gonna be spooky Is fucky, especially here inside stories. That's kind of our goal. Let me try to get some spooky people in here. Oh, cool. Yeah. Like me. Spooky as hell.

He's like, he's a decent, very, I'd say high body temperature for a ghost. I could, I could see the nothing. That's just some kind of depression back your fucking eyeballs. Um, through our mind, you come and check out the beach blanket bingo. All of LPM is going to be there. October 20th. It's going to be so much fun. Really can't wait to the San Diego Balboa theater, uh, October 20th.

I love San Diego. I do too. I've never been there not during Comic Con. So it's going to be interesting. Oh, you're going to it's so much. It's a really nice city. It kind of reminds me of Florida. And they would they hate it when you say that.

But I mean, I've been to San Diego, but it's not. Yeah, it's it is sort of it's closer to Florida that's been South and so count normally against yeah, yes But then go to vips.com slash LPL to blive a stream the show itself from your own home You want to take off any of your you don't do anything. I don't go anywhere. You literally get just like a watch it from home It's very fun. That's awesome. Yep, it is. So make sure you live every day until October 21st. Every day you make it all the way to October 21st

and then you watch October 20th and you watch our show, October 20th. Well, the show's on the 20th, but they gotta live until the 21st. Yeah, to make it through. Or at least like late night on the 20th. Yeah, you have to make it to at least legally. If they're on the East Coast. The 21st. Then they, yeah, they gotta make it through the entire night on the 20. Yeah, you have to make it to at least legally. If they're on the East Coast.

It's 21st. Then they, yeah, they can die. They can die by, by nine. Yeah, that will be fine. Love the fact that you're going to be seeing the LPN show and then you're going to be like, wow, I've seen it. Mm-hmm. And you should be like, and it's done.

And I'm like, oh, no, another blip of time and the universe that we all exist And then you can just laugh knowing that it doesn't even matter what you do because sometimes gold's got all the plimes Plant of not existed. Yep, it's a committed suicide 25 years ago It was covered in time a lot of people don't know that kind of committed No one knows no one that's why everything's been so fucked up late. Yeah, it's really, I mean, yeah, but the same time we're free. Big gun. That was a real big gun. Real big gun. Real big gun. Got to promote.

Um, thank you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye, Tutsi. Hell said never say goodbye to Tutsi. never say goodbye to the city never say goodbye This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to LastPodcastNetwork.com.