Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Epstein Tier List w/ Jared Logan

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

Henry & Eddie react to this week's horrific headlines - a devastating attack at a Bondi Beach Hanukkah celebration leaves 15 dead in Australia, Influential Comedian, Director Rob Reiner and wife Michele Singer killed by estranged son in Hollywood Hills Home, Dick Van Dyke turns 100, and finally, the boys are joined by comedian and gamemaster behind LPNRPG: Bloodbath - Jared Logan joins the show to break down the new set of scoops on The Epstein List & rank the latest set of High Profile cohorts embroiled in the scandal! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to this. This is the last talk on the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes. Henry, I was thinking about something. I loosely talked to Rob about it, and I'm just curious, like, it's the end of the year. Oh, is this the beginning?

This is the beginning. We're talking as performers. As humans. Not as people. Not as humans. No, this is how the people perceive us. Great. So I was like doing some research, not research in my own brain.

I was just thinking hard. Great. Yeah, that's what research is, buddy. Yeah, people say reading and looking stuff up. Uh-uh, no. No third parties. Make it up in your head. I feel good about it.

Yeah. It's good to go. You can have a predetermined answer in your own brain. And if you Google long enough, you can be proven right. It's my whole life. So I was very curious, and I have no answer here. And I was wondering if you've heard something about this. What happened to those South African scientists in Antarctica that we're all killing each other?

What it seems is that they said... Because that just went away, right? The last update that we had had was that they were sending somebody to Antarctica to see what was going on. And then we heard nothing. Honestly, what I think happened was it sounds like... He killed them all? no it sounds like there was a flare up and then people went to go there and then it I honestly think it just kind of chilled out yeah I think something was like there was something going on the guy who's like beating the shit out of everyone just stopped or they or something happened or maybe like maybe it was like it turned out he had like a large thorn in a shoe yeah you know those thing with lions when they're grumpy and then it turns out they might just have a thorn in their shoe and then they're so grateful man I was walking Harley the other day and she had a little thorn in her foot and I took a out and the way she looked at me

she was like, you're a superhero. No, I know. The dogs always do that. She was like, you're the smartest, most wonderful man who's ever existed. Oh yeah, I also believe that my dogs believe that I am an indestructible wall, that I am a fierce warrior

which is why they always start shit with much bigger, more vicious-looking dogs on the street because they think that I'll because I'm the strongest thing they've ever met. Yeah, because I just lift them up. I just lift them up, so they must think I'm the strongest person. I'm Brian Shaw, like, I'm the mountain from Game of Thrones.

And it's like, no, that's a rott while. It's going to fucking kill me, Carmie. Welcome to side stories. My name's Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, so if you know what happened to those South African scientists. I think it's good if we find out if they're dead or not. Can you just explain what it was? Because maybe people don't remember what it was real quick.

Introduce himself first. All right. I'm Edward Larson. Thank you. And you're Henry Zabrowski? I already did. You introduced yourself? I already did it.

I don't remember you're doing it. You know, that's why I'm doing it. I'm trying to do it almost in a subtle, almost professional way. Every time I see you, you're like Henry Sabreusk. Yeah, always. So you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, so what happened was there were the South African scientists in, where was it, Antarctica?

In Antarctica. Antarctica. They're down there. One day, one of them's like, hey, there's a guy trying to beat us all up. Please send help. Yes. And then we never heard about it again. They sent somebody and I think that they kind of figured it out amongst themselves.

That's what I believe what happened. Yeah? Yes. I mean, I feel like they could have just killed the guy. No, I think we're. know that. No one would, how? They would have to send another guy.

Whoever got sent, pinged back and said everything's fine. Who they sent? Liam Neeson? Maybe. Who knows? Maybe they said, maybe they actually sent Liam Neeson. The alleged perpetrator reportedly showed remorse. Yes.

Oh, okay. That's what I'm saying. I figured they... See, I need more follow-up stories. This is, I feel like this wasn't popular enough. You get us all worried about something and you leave us in a lurch. That's called news. I hate that shit.

Yeah, they hate us. The news hates us, Eddie. It's so fucked up. That's the idea. They always make you upset. They don't want you to know. They want you to go looking for it. This was a really stressful, horrible week of news.

Horrifically horrible week of news. Can I start with good news? Yeah. Gigi got adopted. Nice. That is good news. Yes. The terror dog in their home who was a lovely dog.

I love Gigi. Not a terror dog. It's just loved Julie too much. Yes. I love Gigi and I'm glad that she is gone and she has found a home. Gigi has found a home. This is our second successful. successful foster.

That's amazing. And the next, you can find another elderly dogs. I told Julie, no more 2025 dogs. No more 2025 dogs. We're closing out the year

with two dogs unless one dies. Yep. Tutsi could go any minute. It could be today. It could be 10 years from now. She's not going to go. Yeah. Tutsi's not going to die.

Yeah, I don't think she is. No, and I think she might have died years ago and she's still just like her motor functions are keeping her walking around. I want Tutsi's blood. That's what I want. I want to look at Tutsi's blood. And I want some of the blood.

God, I'm so happy for Tootsie, though, that this little dog's out of the house. And we can just go back to total peace. Total peace and silence. Oh, man. This really quickly, we're going to just get this done at the very top. We now know one of the most upsetting pieces of news besides, obviously, the horrific terror attacks in Australia. And in Brown University. And at Brown University, obviously, it happens so often here that we don't care.

We just move on. When it comes to Australia, they are very seriously approaching this. We know that it was a father and son that took upon themselves to attack a Jew, I believe it was a Jewish celebration on Boni Beach. It was a first night of Hanukkah on the beach. It was a very big, Bondi Beach, which is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Yes. And so just so you know, like, and I immediately saw the conservatives trying to switch into this idea of like,

oh, look, their masks, their weapons banned, never do anything, didn't do anything, even though it took 35 years for there to be another shooting of this size. Also, it would have been so much worse if they were fucking automatic weapons. Exactly. So these guys were just so, you know, unfortunately, if people want to murder a lot of people, they can. That is just like a part of one of the fucked up things in this life. Then in America, we've just decided to raw dog that. Everybody else kind of tries to mitigate it. We've just decided to just take that on its face.

And so we just have to take care of each other. And that's one of the hardest parts about this season, right, is that all these things that are dark. One of the biggest, darkest stories also in America was the story of Rob Reiner and his wife being murdered by their son in their home. we know that they were at a sadly we know that they were at a party at Conan O'Brien's house that night they got into a massive conflict with Rob Reiner and his son Nick

in front of everybody he did a movie in front of all of Hollywood everyone had to I mean well then they ran over to his house we know that Billy Crystal was the one that like it was his daughter that discovered the bodies but it was like Billy Crystal Larry David were like at the crime scene which is just like

is that the funniest or least funny crime scene of all time. I don't know. It's least funny. Yes. And they go and they I mean, as a comedian, maybe I just feel like this but like seeing a comedian heartbroken is like the hardest thing to watch for me. Of course. It's like the idea. I know that's like because I just look at myself and like the clowns. Oh yeah, no. You how many times? I love we love you. I love being

comedian. It is my life. It is my I do many ways. I feel it's almost a personal calling. It's one of those things that I love to and it's a part of who I am. But I've had those moments. I have the, you know, we went through horrific drama. I've been through horrific personal drama. And you do have to do that thing where you're crying in one room and then you have to walk in and do comedy.

We've done this many times. Yeah, I had to fucking, I hosted two of Kevin's memorials. Yes, it's just one of those things is a part of this, it's a part of what we hold. But Nick Reiner was a troubled individual. He was obviously getting more and more troubled. We know that Rob Reiner worked with a son specifically, and made a documentary about his struggles with addiction.

I think it was a movie. Yeah. It was a movie movie. No, it was a movie movie? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was a movie movie. And it's just horrendously, it's horrendous. We know that the son now is being, they're saying that he's not a mentally capable of being in trial yet.

The movie was called Being Charlie. Yeah. That they made. We know that Nick Reiner has also just hired Harvey Weinstein's lawyer. Yeah, he, Alan, the guy's name's Alan Jackson, not the country singer. he's worked with Karen Reed, Harvey Weinstein, and Kevin Spacey. So we'll see. That's the lawyer representing Nick Reiner.

But I don't think it matters. I think it's just, I think they're... They found blood. He checked into a hotel room. It was covered in blood in Santa Monica. I mean, you know, it's just like he, apparently he slipped their throats while they were sleeping. Yeah, it's a whole horrific thing. The crazy thing about this story is, is because it obviously affects us personally just because it's in our field.

Well, at first, it's like, when I first saw the news drop, my first thought and this is horrific was like oh I much like our wonderful president I was like a little part of me was like I hope this wasn't some political mega crazy person that stabbed him to death like that's what the first thought I had was and now he's loose in the valley yeah right like now he's just here so that was like my first thought which like the first time I had one of those words like I actually got scared for a second well yeah because it also it just seemed like there's been people who like follow rich people home around where we live of course and then And then like break it, like happened to the, uh, the moatown guy, but someone just lost their, their wife that way. Yes, it happens. Music producer. Yes. You know, and so like, I thought, that's what I thought happened.

Someone just followed him home to rob him. Yeah. You know, and then like it turns out that it's the son most likely. Obviously, he's not convicted yet, but it's seems. It's most likely him. And it seems it has quite a lot to do with drugs. Yeah. And seemed that there was a conflict in which he was living on their property.

And they have essentially, it was. getting closer and closer to the point where they were going to say you can't be home anymore. I could just imagine, because Rob Reiner's a very passionate man. You know, I've seen him yell multiple times on camera. I watched him yell in person. Yeah. And he's also one of the nicest,

kindest men I've ever met on one of those sets. And when you're dealing with people like this. You have done every single thing that you can to take care of your son. You're in the public eye. Yeah. It's, and like, that's one of those things.

it's such a unique situation to explain to somebody of like you're a very famous Oscar nominee winning one of the greatest directors of all time and you can still go to win a function at a party that is both a work function

kind of it's friends and family in a way it's Hollywood elite it's Hollywood elite so there's a pressure there and then you have been dealing with this over and over and over again and then your son has decided to bring it again after all these years and you are then in a fight.

I could see it all being just exacerbated to its very, very peak. Yeah. And then how often do we see this amongst quote-unquote normal families? Does they change and shift? How many times have we seen already in my world of research that do I see dumpy son being told that things have to change? Dumpy son kills everybody. Yeah. Well, that's the craziest part about this is we probably would have covered this story if it was a plumber.

Of course. You know, no, thanks, Rob. Yeah, you know, that's okay. That's not the lowest of the low, Rob. That's not the lowest of the low. I'm not a chimney sweeper, okay? No, no, you're not. No, no, that was not the lowest of the low.

I still put Booker in there. Yeah. So, but you worked with Rob Reiner on Wolf of Wall Street. Yes, I was with him for two days. I hung out with him for about two days. I was extremely jealous when you told him. When that whole movie, when you were filming that movie, all the stories, like, literally, like, you.

having to like be like with like strippers on top of your shoulders yes the thing that i flipped out the most about personally was like that you got to hang out with rob right it was he was he did not make us feel like he was anything but like a normal friendly guy yeah he was one of those who extremely approachable he was sort of holding court quite often but also like was just one of those very not just one of those legends yeah every once in a while in hollywood i've been i've had my heartbroken by so many of my heroes. I've met so many horrific bastards

and then you meet somebody like that who the name the reputation all of this, it all is exactly as ordered and they're just wonderful. It was like him, Jack Black, Jeff Goldblum, they're all like, oh, that's a fucking

star. You know what I mean? It's just an incredible person. He just knows how to do the thing. And I also can see how I think that he was probably what his daughter, what his daughter said, he was in really good father, but he also was a, he's just torn. He's emotional. He's probably screamed at him plenty of times.

And I think that these dumpy sons, a lot of times, like, I mean, I say this is sort of, like, obviously, it's a derogatory term, that it's this idea of, like, dumpy's a kind thing to say about this man. Yeah, it's just that you get angry once real life is starting to ask you to take some responsibility. What is it about, like, once someone kills somebody? like they look evil all of a sudden. Well, he was looking bad.

I'll say he was looking bad. Yeah. This is like he was on these all these red carpet. This was recent. He's got like this like shaved head and his fucking scowl on his face and he's in all these pictures and it's like, I get it, man. I bet you Rob Reiner does it. I bet you every single time he sees that face.

He's like, just the fuck up. Yeah. Put a fucking like, we're outside, buddy. Like this is my job. I'm at work, man. Yeah. Like honestly, like I know it sucks to be in the public eye, buddy. But that's my fucking job.

Rob Reiner. There's nothing I can do about it now. I'm sorry, I guess I brought you into this world. I'm sorry that this was a part of this. But that's what, that's the reality. I mean, the craziest thing is, like, he did it while they were sleeping in their bed. I mean, we don't know quite.

We actually don't know. So we don't know. We don't know for certain. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, that wasn't. All right. So, but their throats were slit. Yes. We have no idea. We just know that he came at them very, uh. Are we sure it wasn't Andy Dick? Where was he? Where was he?

Honestly, I'd love to know. Where's his... Because he has to wear a bell now. Like, legally, he has to wear a bell. But, I mean, we'll just get off this topic now. I didn't get invited to Conan's party. I think he has an alibi for this weekend. That one, he did.

But we just, again, we're just going to leave it at this because, obviously, you know, also... Of course, we make fun of everybody. So this is no different. I feel like we just had to talk about it. It's too crazy of a story to not talk about it. But also, I feel like I can't do my normal. It's emotionally upset. I can't do my normal make fun of everybody. I wish I could.

I almost wish I could. I mean, honestly, not to be like weird about it, make it about us, but like, are you okay? I'm fine. Because like, if I work with someone for one day, I get emotionally attached to that. I know that unfortunately, honestly, that people that work in show business, you also meet somebody you meet a frame

of them you're like you meet like a section of what their life is like and you don't really know what they're like and you also know that what I know even at the very small level that we have it really exponentially complicates every single one of your human connections yeah

no matter what so I know that it's a whole that's a part of me that I just can't help but think too is that it's all just a fucking mess and it's just such a shame that it has to be on such a massive public scale Man, I can't help but keep thinking about Mel Brooks. I mean, he's just...

I love that man so much, and for him to, like, watch his best friends, and then who essentially is his nephew, get killed like this? At the end of your life, like, nobody deserves it. Funniest widower of all time. Actually, I do, no, actually, I do have a list of people who deserve it. I'm not going to say who, I'm not going to say the list of people who deserve it, but Rob Reiner was not on... Rob Barton, his lovely white...

were not on that list. Yeah. Not that list. Dick Van Dyke. Happy birthday. You know what it is about Dick Van Dyke. I felt so bad about the fact that they just, they crammed

a fucking camera in his face on his 100th birthday. And there was like that whole scenario. He loves it though. Yeah, but there, sort of. There was a segment where he's still a very old man. There was like, this wife was like, they gave you a

moon man from the video music awards, which is even in itself that's an old concept yes they went and they were like trying to show him what a moon man he kept going what what and then the audience was like laughing you could tell people were laughing like he was kidding right and then you could see in his confusion that the audience obviously thought that he was kidding so then he obviously tried to kind of laugh along with it i do like watching him exercise yeah yeah no i saw this yeah he could crunch like a motherfucker i want to see the Sex tape.

Yeah. I want to see him fall over some furniture. No, I know. He's practicing and getting up on that pussy, man. That's what that is. That's what those push-ups start so he can fucking eat at lunch on lunch and lunch. But that shit was five years ago. He does not have the mobility anymore.

He does not have the mobility anymore. That was a long time ago, buddy. And he, that was right before COVID. Yeah. Yeah, he can't do that no more. And he, well, I just felt bad just because it felt like everybody, I think he seemed to be very happy and it was nice in a way. I do think on some level, they were like, you plan a 12-hour live stream for a 100-year-olds,

and it's sort of like planning a 12-year-old, 12-hour live stream for a 5-year-old. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because you're like, he's like looking grumpy and he definitely needs a fucking nap, and he's like no longer, he's just kind of like, standing into doing that very scary old man thing where they kind of like have their mouth hang open and they stared ghosts. I will say I saw Mel Brooks last year do like a live blazing saddles. he was like doing heel clicks

and running all around He takes good very Because you know he's 99 He's gonna be 100 very soon I think much like with Dick Van Dyke Which is the reason why he looks much better When they do the at home interviews He just saves it

Yeah right He never goes out He saves it Once he's on the stage Mel Brooks probably feels like 25 years younger once he's on stage And you know the second he's off stage It's like he's in a wheelchair

I met him 20 years ago And he was ancient then Yeah So I don't know how I don't know how that works Stem cells baby and pure Jewish magic That's what takes you all the way to the top

All right, we already did wait We did much Yeah Live from your blade Well now we're gonna In honor of Rob Reiner We're gonna have one of our favorite comedians Come in

We talk about the Epstein list Which Rob would have loved You know Rob Reiner would have loved Our deep deep exercising Of the connections of Jeffrey Epstein and the current administration, which is why we are continuing forward. But we did want to have a guest today who is one of our favorite dudes on the face of the planet. He is our...

Honestly, I've looked up to him for many years. He's a great man. People don't understand it. Before crowd work comedy was a thing, Jared Logan was by far the single best crowdwork comedian I have ever seen. And anybody who's ever tried to do it since, truly fucking suck. on it. I've seen every one of them. They all fucking suck. Go see Jared Logan live when

you can. But more importantly, he is on hour. He is game running and he is the storyteller for LPN RPG. The Vampire the Masquerade presents Bloodbath over on LPN TV. His name is Jared Logan. He also works at the Glass Cannon Network. And here

he is with a few thoughts about this week's news. Right from your grave. Ladies and gentlemen, Are we recording? We're moving lights around. I don't want to do this. I don't do this until I'm going to scare our guest.

He's fine. We've got a live dog in here. That's champ. I like dogs. How about dead ones? I'm not that much. No, no, no, no, no. Talk to you that time.

He's not here for, he's not here for our fucking little, like, oh, pandery dog content. Okay? He's not like that. He's a real fucking comedian. I don't know is he a real comedian I love pandery dog content I know we do but I wish that he would be more open to it Jared's better than that

Okay He's better than that He's bigger than that This man I would never have trusted a more nerdy endeavor than what we do here Atlas podcast network with our LPNRPG Vampire the Mascarade presents

Bloodbath led by Jared Logan You are the only man I would have ever allowed to guide us through this adventure. I'm honored, honored to do so. Yeah, that was awesome. You're extremely good at the job. Yeah, I love game mastering, yeah. It's all I want to do.

I never get tired of it. What's your favorite of your jobs? That is your favorite of your jobs? I mean, it really actually is. It's like, you know, what I have, because you're right, I have a couple jobs. I do writing work and I'm a comedian. Delivering the letters. a performing comedian.

I deliver letters as a postman. I drive for Uber Eats. Where's being a father in there? I make videos where I vomit up food. Oh, that's so nice. And then they reverse the video, so I'm sucking up the vomit. Joey Reverse, right? Unfortunately, though, Jaredette is now hack.

Someone's already done it. Yeah, reverse Joey. Oh, good. Here's the video. Yeah, we made him watch her record for it. It's going to make me vomit and cry. Yeah, yeah, no, it made me very upset. So I'm glad it made you upset, too, because everyone else was like, Ed's a pussy.

And I'm like, this is really upsetting and horrible. It's really more the emotional turmoil. I'd rather watch someone get beat to death with a hammer. Yeah, don't worry. I got that too. Yeah, let's throw that up there. I, yeah, so, so, yeah, then my favorite job is being a game master. And, you know, I do it, I do it for money and I do it almost every day now.

I do it a lot of days of the week. But then I still want to do it at home just with my friends. See, that's the true addiction of it. I never get tired of it. Yeah, because we have a home D&D game. Yeah. I'm still doing that. Yeah.

So do you ever play or are you always the master? I have been trying to play a lot more in the last year or two because if you're just the master, you get arrogant. Yeah. You get power mad. But you'd be so good at that being arrogant and power mad. I feel like if I wanted anyone power mad, it'd be you. I am a fair and just God. but I am an angry god

yes so as someone who knows nothing about this world do you like write the story you can and then you can also play games out of published stories published adventures and I do both and I love to do both for different reasons right but you know for years I just wrote all the stories but now I really do like to run like out of a published

campaign it's fun okay and then you fuck with it a little bit Yeah, you have to. You have to. Like, you know, one of my players on the Glass Cannon, which is the other thing I do. Yeah, that was a big thing I wanted to also push. It's like, go check out Glass Cannon. You guys are doing it really well over there, too. And, you know, again, it's because they hire Jared.

That's right. I mean, they know talent when they see it. So we have a long-term campaign, and that's like a Pathfinder campaign, which is like Dungeons and Dragons with more rules. Yeah, sure. It's like a complicated Dungeons and Dragons. Don't make me hard. Yeah.

And then I run that out of a published book, so I have to study these books. There's a lot of sides to the dice. And I have to study all these books. And then I have to write down how all these combats are going to work. And then my players will be like, I think I'd like to meet my character's mom. And I'm like, okay, let's write that in. And then I, you know, I just add that to the whole published story. You did that when we were doing VTM.

Like I saw you do that, like when I did that to you, where I said, I want to meet the rest of the Nosferatu. And you were like, well, it's cast and it was fraught to then. We've got to do it. The most fun was when that character wanted to meet her mom, I made her mom an evil hag who was trying to destroy, like, the community, you know? And then the evil hag was disguised as like a beautiful, I said, like a Kate Blanchett type. And the player was just attracted to this NPC and thought she was on a date. And she's like, no, it's her mother.

With her own fucking mom. That's hot. You can play the game however you want. Yeah, that's Game of Thrones stuff. So that's the kind of erotic content I bring. I'm erotic forward. Yeah, with my games. Incess themed.

Exactly. Yes, which honestly, I appreciate. Yeah. And I love what you do. And that's why we have you here, because, again, we very rarely invite other talents on here to dance with the two daredevils of side stories. Right. You know, we never do that. And so one thing we want to do.

I'm barely paying attention most times. Yeah. It's really, does work that way. So we can kind of check in and out. You're also being harassed by the dog. The champ is touching, is attacking his knees. He is a cute dog.

It is a cute dog. And that's why we have him there to, we do that to distract you because we're about to hit you with an Epstein update. Oh, Epstein. Epdates, we call them our update. It's our series of updates on the wonderful twist and turning adventures of our not-dead friend, Jeffrey Epstein.

Do you like a stinger? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you like a good stinger? I like a, what is a stinger? You mean like a, like a musical stinger? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love a stinger.

Rob, please. Hit him with the updates. You're going to let me. It's an island adventure. It's an island adventure. Heck yeah, it's Jeffrey time. It's an update with Gerard Logan. So excited.

I can't believe you got the Harlem Boys choir for that. It was so hard. They were so scared. Yeah. You'd be surprised how cheap they are. Yeah. Free. Totally free if you have a bow and arrow.

Right. Now, we recently, obviously, we've been covering the ever-extending world of the new disclosure behind the-out-the-act. Because we see our president seems nervous. And they really have been kind of like, now we're leaking just like gas out of the back of our president. it's slowly coming to the surface. We're seeing real pictures. Now, the pictures they're threatened. It's called shit, still.

It's still called shit. They've been releasing pictures, finally. These are the things they've been talking about for years that have been a part of this Jeffrey Epstein, like, dossier. They've been threatening to show. One was, obviously, this picture of Trump with a bunch of, I'm going to go and make the educated guests of calling them girls, little young girls

he had a big crowd of him that was the first one that came out but the big thing that was interesting was it yeah we all know the president and Jeffrey Epstein were like close friends right yeah they're good buddies and Epstein

tracked his flights during his first term as president and literally would mimic his travel now we know this he would go follow the president from place to place to place I didn't know that sounds like the kind of thing

I get you arrested and killed yep and so when he would was doing was knowing, and he kept saying to everybody else, and because now his batch of super friends, right, that he had something on Donald Trump and the fix was in, but then, unfortunately, it got cut short.

Don't know how. Must have been sad. Right? So now these other pictures are coming out. And we wanted Jared to help us rank his group of super friends. Jeffrey Epstein, it wasn't just old fucking Teflon Don, man. No, no, no. He had lots

of friends. You know, he, he, Trump can only have sex with so many girls. Yeah. You know, and so you've got to get someone else in there to really get in there. Spread around. So, where I'd like you to do it. We're going to do the old-fashioned tier list. So it's S, A, B, C, I believe, D, and then F.

Yeah, no E. Right? So we're going to, we're going to label these guys. So we've got what we now know from his pictures, like, he's truly best friends. Number one, filmmaker and comedian and everybody's favorite mensch, Woody Allen. Oh. Have you not seen the new movie? photographs. I have not seen the new

photographs. It's like anything that Woody Allen, any chance he had at like not being a horrible pedophile is all ruined now. Right. It's like any like little bit of hope I had to enjoy love and death one more time. Oh yeah. This is real?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Well you know what? I haven't been able to watch a Woody Allen film since you know all the scandal happened with him and all that came out. The big the big, the fifth scandal. To have a wife that just does whatever you say or you won't let her friends come over and have a slumber party yeah uh yeah i mean you know it didn't matter i you know i i wasn't there i didn't really

get informed about all of it i didn't know whether it was true or not but i don't want to watch a movie and be thinking about that well it does pump and like i also find it interesting the people that can that you can watch something like a woody allen film which is involving some sort of like, you're supposed to have it, like, I believe the ultimate kind of, we have to imagine you like this man. Right, like Woody Allen, in every movies, women love him. Yeah.

Women are beautiful women. I don't know what you want to say. He wrote himself with some of the most beautiful women. You know, he wrote himself into movies where the most beautiful women are in love with them. And some of the only others are married to me of Pharaoh. Yeah, I mean, he was married to a beautiful woman. But, yeah, I mean, yeah, the dresser.

like a baby. She did dress like a baby. And she had a baby's haircut. Yeah. You think so. They, they, they, they, what's a baby's haircut? Look at me a bald is a baby's hair cut. Look at me a Farrow with a, you tell me that's not a, she doesn't have an infant's haircut. Long hair? That hair.

The Rosemary's baby. She's long hair. Well that, Rosemary's baby, but they weren't fucking then. Yeah, but that's probably when he became attracted to her. Yeah. That's not a baby's haircut. That's when he started crushing. Yeah, pixie hair.

That's a baby haircut. That's a baby's haircut. That's a baby's haircut. I just want to say a few women can pull that off because you need a certain head shape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I was going to say, and this has been said before, his movies, you know, give you hints because Manhattan, the whole plot is dating an underage woman. Dude, it's right there. It's one of his most popular movies.

I rewatched Stardust memories. Have as much as my coffee as you like. Sorry. Gives him a sick. Wow. It's not even a similar receptacle We're fucking married Jared We got off the plane yesterday

And like legitimately I got ahead of I was in security ahead of him I got ahead of him I already bought him his coffee I put his milk in it the way he likes it That's lovely That's great Yeah you know it's gotten too deep We're as close as Jeffrey Epstein

And Woody Allen There they are again I tried a couple years ago Because like I was a huge Woody Allen fan Like his stand up especially It's all jokes It's so fucking funny And so I'm like, all right, my favorite movie was one of his worst movies, for some reason.

I fell in love with the movie Star Dust Memories. Yeah. And so I put it on to like watch it again just to like, you know, absorb it and enjoy it. And the fucking whole movie, there's like subliminal messaging in the background to being a pedophile. Right. I think your greatest clue and it's not overtly or even implicit pedophilia in it is his greatest film is crimes and misdemeanors. And the whole point of the film crimes and misdemeanors is you can get away with it. If you have the money, power, and the charisma, you can get away with whatever you want.

And you wonder, because during that time period, it's actually kind of interesting because that was the central time period of his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein. Because Jeffrey Epstein was obviously catered to these people. Now, Woody Allen, now, the bravest of all of his Jeffrey Epstein's friends, which is why am I put him assed here, is he, only one saying, yeah, I was friends with him. He was great. Is he really? Yeah. I mean, that's really a Trump tactic, which is admit nothing. You know what I mean? Just feel like, so what? I was friends with him. He was hilarious. I loved his dinner parties. You don't go. That's essentially what he was saying. His life's already over. We're like working wise, you know. Yeah. I just noticed something, guys.

What happened? Look who that is. Who's that? I don't recognize him. That's Jimmy Buffett. Yeah, Jimmy Buffett! He was just there because Ireland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had to be there. He just loves Ireland. He's really into relaxation.

He's way more Bill Clinton's friend. Yeah, he's got changes in latitudes and changes in attitudes. I'm going to say that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about that one. He's the furthest away from Jeffrey M.C. Yeah, exactly. In that picture of people that are friends and holding each other, he's the first. Not Jimmy, anybody but Jimmy. I'm also mad at myself.

I didn't recognize Jimmy Buffett. Yeah, I'd say, wow, it's because it's about the hat. Not the shirt, the hat, no hat, no shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, you could put another man in that hat and shirt, and I'd be like, Jimmy Buffett! Which would you have been a good idea for him to have sent to this party? Oh, man. So do we put Jimmy Buffett on the friends list?

No, because I'm still saying he was just in Quince. Yeah, yeah. Because you really don't see the friendships until you see the pictures of, again, truly Jeffrey Epstein's best friend. Was there a Margaritaville on the island? No, because there's already Margaritaville Island next door. That's where the island is. That's where his island was. He was

neighbors with Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, there you go. You know, coincidentally, the first place I ever drank underage was the Bahamas. Oh. Now, he's truly his best friend, the one that actually surprised me the most, because you never really see, like, because I

would say... Is Woody Allen ranked to S tier? We didn't even... You ranked him, but Jared didn't say anything. Wait, I need to know what the tiers are. I don't even know what an S tier is. Well, we're going to watch people rank things for no reason on YouTube? No. You never did tears of a cloud? This is Woody Allen took that photo.

Well, they're wondering who did take these photos. Oh, really? So this is just a photo of Jeffrey Epstein is very mischievous in the bath, but there is a better bed friend. I want to show him the pictures of Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon is really, that's why like before we argue who's his best

best best best friend. You need to look at the pictures of him with Steve Bannon. Now, that's Steve Bannon and Nome Chomsky. Oh, no. So, Nome Chomsky is his third best friend. We know that they all hang out together. Oh, yeah. Have you seen the glove? Yeah, you've seen the...

Whoa. It's the most upsetting thing I think I've ever seen. Where's that? Where did that come from? From his home. He had it made. Or bought it? I don't know. It was probably a gift that he used. Sometimes people buy you a gift and you don't get a chance to use it. He really used everything people gave up.

We also don't know if that's his hand or not. Can anybody buy one of these? Because I think it'd be so funny for Kara to open her Christmas gift. Oh, yeah. And it's the dildo glove. I'm looking this up. I'm looking it up. So there's a thing called a,

what we are looking at is a black truckway. Amazon. Amazon sells sex toys? He definitely get his. He did not get his on Amazon. No, no, no. No. He got his on Cramazon.

Custom John. I love how they blank out the middle finger because that's the one with the dick tip on it. The other one has a, the thumb has a dick tip. Well, it's a lot. Why is that one the most? Well, this is what we're trying to say. So, like, we have pictures now of him and Steve Bannon are best, best, best, best, best, best friends. And now what we know is that the main email correspondence through the first term of Trump's presidency was between Epstein and Bannon.

They talked endlessly about Trump, constantly talked while Bannon was in the White House. And part of me wonders now if Bannon was the outreach from Trump. to connect back like legitimately it's the mob yeah of course you have to have someone going in between i think that bannon took it amongst himself to be the go between for epstein and trump on the back end so that they could semi-negotiate whether or not epstein was going to get murdered or not right right so so trump is sending bannon as his diplomat to be like you better keep quiet about me. Find out exactly what you know.

Steve Bannon charms Epstein. They're best friends. Like to the point where I don't even read any of these emails about how Epstein and him, the way they talk back and forth, is so wildly nerdy. They're all like, do you want to visit in the dark of night?

Or would you prefer to find a more clandestine way to meet? They do this thing with the way they talk to each other, like they're little boys playing spies. wow well they're probably like do they how well do you think they know each other extremely well you think they're new friends at this point yes I think they think you know sometimes you turn it on for a new friend I think that is what happened I think what you see these pictures look how big Jeffrey Epstein's desk is yeah it's a big desk I guess so so people can't reach over and strangle I guess so is this irrelevant to what

we're saying I would love to see Steve Bannon be hanged and then his body abused by children in the street I would love that yeah to be honest that's a Patreon gift we've been going for. It's a 150 grand. What's in the photograph there? It's a mirror, I think. Oh, that's a mirror? I don't know, actually. Can you zoom in on that? What the fuck is that? It looks like it's the creation touch. Yeah, it's the creation touch. Oh, my God,

it is. It is, right? From the... Michelangelo, from the Sistine Chapel. Yeah. It's the, yeah, it's the moment that God makes man. Interesting. These guys all think they're God. Well, this is the problem, Jared. Is it also,

let's pick up the pictures of Noam Chomsky. We were forgetting Noam Chomsky. Because what a giggly little girl he was around these guys. The picture of him and Steve Bannon's, their belly buttons touching each other. They're legitimately holding each other like they are the best friends they've ever experienced. And I just don't, I don't know. Can you look at you? Can you imagine Noam Chomsky having this much fun with anybody?

Yeah. No, he never smiles. This is so weird. I've seen Nomechopsky give like long talks, lectures, interviews. He does not smile. Right? And he's so, like, pedantic and, like, the idea of, like, you know, because isn't his thing, Jared, tell me if I'm right or wrong, because you've done a lot.

You are very well read. Yeah. Now, Noam Chomsky, his idea is that our society is oftentimes built upon or can be built upon our language models, right? The idea that language can change society? You know, I don't want to prove my ignorance. Sum it up, please. My idea of Noam Chomsky, and I have read some Nome Chomsky, is that it's mostly about how capitalism dehumanizes and destroys everything and creates tyrannical government structures and that he's more of like a socialist, right? Seems wrong.

I mean, well, I'm wrong. I told you I'd be ignorant. According to Wikipedia, Jared is correct. No Jomsky also 97 years old. still alive. Well, Noam Chomsky's also doubling down and saying he doesn't care that he was friend with Jeffrey Epstein either

because he was saying that he was a philanthropist and again, another version of... So Woody Allen... It's more gross that he was friends with Steve Bannon. Yes. If you want to do tears, friends with Steve Bannon worse than friends with Jeffrey Epstein.

Exactly. Yeah, and I think that's what we're seeing here. At least Jeffrey Epstein threw parties. That's the thing. But also, Jared, I wish you could see the emails of other tech guys emailing Jeffrey Epstein. There's this guy. I forget that fuck it was name.

I'm talking a CEO of a billion dollar company. Richard Branson? Not Richard Branson. He was in there, though. He's in there. He's in there. But Richard, it was a billionaire CEO who sent Jeffrey Epstein an email asking for advice on how to cheat on his wife. He's in the

saying being like, basically, how can you help me close the deal with this woman? And then they all looked at him like he was the coolest guy in school. Look at this picture. Never send an email asking how to cheat on your wife. You wanted, that's a phone call. Also, this is Dean Kamen.

So that guy on the dead, the douchebag and the denim shirt, this is his other best, best, best, best friend. That's Dean Kamen who runs Segway. Or Rand Segman. No, it's not the dead one. I thought it was the dead one. It's not the dead guy. It's the guy who bought it from the dead guy?

Yes. Yes. So if you don't remember, Jared, the guy who owned Segway took running a Segway off a cliff and died. Right. I remember that. One of the best pieces of news of all time. And then I guess the guy who bought it was like,

I'll use this as a way to fuck kids. Yeah, so basically another 15-year-old girl said that she was a part of his, that was she was attached to him, and he had a whole connection into the world of industry that was through Richard Branson, and that took him into Australia. Right from your grade.

I feel like we're moving too fast. No, I, no, listen, I just want to say, so this is going to seem like a weird example, but I remember years ago, before the news and the world got so much more exciting. But years ago, Nelson Mandela died and Barack Obama was president. Yes. And I remember I read a news story that he let George W.

Hitch a ride on Air Force One to go to Mandela's funeral. And I remember going, you're letting Bush get on the plane with you, that you guys were against each other. I mean, like, at the time, Bush was the worst thing that had ever happened. I mean the Iraq war and I was like, how can you, like, the least you can do Barack Obama is not give him a ride. He can definitely afford and has a flight ready to go to, you know, wherever he needs to go. And I just remember thinking, it's comfortable on Air Force, well, we got to make him comfortable. I'm just saying it's just, you just, you realize that they really all of these guys, all of them.

And I think disrespective of even the political spectrum have more in common with each other. Of course. Than they do with any of us. And the real conflict is between these elites and me specifically. And I'm going to take them down. Yeah, baby. I'm going to post something on Instagram today and take on down. They don't have a fucking chance.

Fuck yeah. A real is going to fix us up. You know who's buddies with George D. W is Michelle Obama. She's really close with him. Well, now we know, unfortunately, I think that we're seeing that George W. Technically was not the right man at the time. He was not the right man in time.

He had Dick Cheney, who now we know, sadly, sure, one of the worst villains in modern times. All right, P. I miss you, baby. At least he cared about the country. He actually cared about America. Yeah, and that's like, yeah, I mean, to obviously to the pain of everybody else. Right. But at least he cared about one thing and many hearts. Yeah.

And that's what he liked. So we can rank these now, and I believe. Can I still be the idiot in the room and ask a couple questions? Absolutely. Yeah. Who's Noam Chomsky? Noam Chomsky is a capitalism. He was against it.

Yeah. He was a philosopher and writer. And so he wrote about, yes, but I believe that was like the one of the, his tax was the idea is that capitalism, these are the things that they sort of use to fuck with us is they change language. Yeah, you're right. I mean, it's like, it's like he would say that like every single president was guilty of horrific war crimes. Yeah, absolutely. I agree with that. That's absolutely true. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it's about power and how power corrupts really, right? And he knew it so intimately that he wanted to join the team. And he did. And so that's, we

eventually, unfortunately, what we find out is that even the most grimling, goblin-looking men that look like They smell like a bus station and he wears Target clothes. Even he loves millions and millions and millions of dollars. Yeah, yeah. So it's weird, right? So let's just, I guess we could quickly rank them and then we'll move on because we have some fun to other stories. I want to hit him at least one other story before.

Yeah, let's ruin his life. I also put Prince Andrew, formerly known as Prince Andrews. The Prince Andrews, like, press conference interview where he was like saying. Incredible. It was, it's great viewing. Incredible. It is, it's like a goddamn Christopher guest movie. It's like, he's sweating.

I think he literally takes his collar and it's like, well, because at one point, afterwards, too, Prince Andrew thought that that interview went spectacularly. Wow. That was his idea. That was his idea. I remember that. And they were all like, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this.

Yeah. Yeah, he completely ruined his own life. But now we know he was wildly involved, and King Charles, at his most sickest, is being like, y'all nalta prince anymore. And that's just what the, that's his punishment, right? Whatever. So, all right.

But of course he thought the interview went spectacularly because all of these guys, no matter what happens, and the, after the thing happens, they go, that was spectacular. Crushed it. And they're all, they've all succeeded. They're all old as fuck. And even if they all spend the last two years of their life in jail, they fucking, they feel like they won life. They're branded a pedophile.

They don't give a shit. They kind of like it. As a matter of fact, you saw that accidental mailer with that, when Trump, like, whatever, that list that Epstein was on that just said two pedophiles. They were all a lot of lists up. You know who I'm surprised on the list? Cosby. Bill Cosby just, he liked him of age. You'll notice all of the people that hung out with Jeffrey.

Certain are white. Bill Cosby couldn't even go. He was like, no, you don't get it. I can help you. I know a lot about this. And they were like, you don't, they don't even see me coming.

Yes. It's the thing, Bill. We don't even give them the drugs. We know. No, no, they just use leverage. So I would say, all right, S-tier, Steve Bannon, A-tier, Woody Allen.

Yes. D-tier, Noam Chomsky. Because we talked about this because he's closer friends with Steve Bannon. What about Buffett, man? Buffett, just disregard Buffett for me. I was, I immediately started, like, researching during this conversation, because I didn't know about the Buffett until right now.

And everything I see is just people will be like, ah, Florida, they're friends. You know, rich people in Florida, they know each other. Buffett apologists. It's a big difference. So he's not on it. Wait, who's in the black and white there? That's Buffett. That's Buffett.

Okay. Yeah. And then we've got Branson and we got Clinton. I mean, Clinton's like a no-brainer. It's like no one was surprised. No, we knew. Take him. No, he's a president.

He's got to be us. Yeah. That's a big one. And Andrew's S. Andrew's, at least S, because Andrew went back. Andrew actually took the pictures to prove that he was friends with Epstein in Central Park and then continued to talk with him after. Wow.

And then Branson, I kind of, I kind of, I don't know. Is he friends with anyone? Branson's a piece of shit. One time I had to work, like, do an event for him. And he made us, like, literally ripped down a wall in a building so he can drive a Lamborghini through it. You're actually making me like him. That's like that. Is there anybody else that should be on this, you think?

Is there like anybody we're missing based on? Well, that's from the new package. Bill Gates. Oh, Bill Gates is in there. Where would Bill Gates be on it? I mean, he's at least A. I would say, you know what Bill Gates is? He trunks his own shit.

I mean, you got to put him at A. No, man. He never asked Epstein how he was doing. I'd actually put him on a D list in terms of Friends 2 Epstein. Oh, that's how we're ranking this. Yeah, he's a friend to Epstein. close you are to Epstein. Yeah, like, who's a friend to him?

You know what I mean? That's the thing, Eddie. What do we know about friendship? You gotta be there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. When Jeffrey's lonely, when Jeffrey's anxious, who does he call?

Steve Bannon, of course. I mean, if I was anxious, I would call Jimmy Buffett. He's like the chillest dude in the world. I don't know if he is, Eddie. His last name is Buffet. But what's chill about a buffet? It's like a sea of sharks. No, buffet is really a lot of pressure.

Yeah. You're just on a cruise. What about Simpsons creator Matt Growning? Oh, fuck, that's right. Yeah, he's not on here. Well, you know what it is. I mean, you got to have someone draw cartoons for the kids. Matt Grunning was also in, um, he, we know he got foot massages.

There was one picture of him at a party. Really ugly guy. Oh, God. Wildly ugly guy. He apparently, his feet are so disgusting that when the girl took off his shoe. He looks like Steve Bannon, kind of. He does. He looks like a Simpsons character.

Very much so. Matt Graining, apparently the story is that his feet were so wretched that when he removed his shoes for the little girl to massage them, she reched, right? She literally like dry heaved and he laughed at her. Well, it's a whole night

on a plane. It really is, man. It's a small tube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a small tube. Well, I'm just glad that we really Woody Allen on there twice? He should be. He's just in the queue. You really, really fucking should be. Thank you, Jared. This has been really helpful.

Yeah, I like this ranking a lot. I think this makes total sense. Yeah, S is Steve Bann and Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, formerly known as Woody Allen, of course, twice in the Ace Buy. I mean, well, because he's like the most famous pedophile. Genuine friend. Yeah, yeah. And then you got B, Richard Branson, Matt Graining.

That's really just about impressing your friends. Do we know what movie they were filming when Epstein was on set in Video Village? Curse J. Scorpion. Let me ask this. Let me ask this. Uh, let's ignore for a minute the pedophilia. Do you want to go to an island and hang out with this group of dudes? No!

Neither do I. Can you imagine choosing this? I don't want to hang out with Woody Allen. I don't want to hang out with Matt groaning. These are the most entertaining of the two. I would hang out with this crew of people just to get close to Jimmy Buffett. Yeah. I want to hang out.

But you would have compromised yourself, Eddie. It shows you who would have compromised you. I want to have. hang out with Buffett and I got to be honest you guys I mean again we have to let's imagine the pedophilia is not happening again I want to hang out with Clinton I'm sorry of course I want he's the only one he's the only one

I want him to play for me yeah well because Bill Clinton would also well Woody Allen also played jazz I wonder if they on the island together island jam section clarinet and fucking saxophone oh Woody Allen and Bill Clinton just getting down there's just kids sitting there bored Hot peanuts, hot peanuts, hot peanuts, hot peanuts.

You guys see what he's doing? He's improvising. All these young girls, like, ugh. I bet it's about the children you don't molest. You know, this has been, but I, yeah, Nome Chomsky in the Bahamas. Can you imagine how his shirt, his sweater must smell, covered in the water of the ocean? Right. You don't want to take that New York mothball smell and then put it in that level of humidity.

Tropical. Yeah, you don't want that. All right. Well, thank you so much, Jared. You know, it's so weird. Evil really does keep you alive. Yeah. It's not having a conscience.

It's look at every one of these dudes is still alive except for, uh, except for Buffett. Except for Buffett. Rest in peace, man. Rest and pieces. All right. Let's get, let's do one simple last. This is a sad screen. This has been awesome.

Let's do one, let's do a simpler story for Jared. Any story is simpler. I don't get rid of any fucking story. One last little story. I just want to get what you think about this. Right. So obviously, this is a Florida story you're about to receive. Oh, yeah. This happened in Epstein country around the corner from Marlago. So this guy, they're saying that it's a popular Worth Avenue photo spot, right?

Is this really nice picture of this sort of clock tower. It's really nice. This man, Jonathan Houston of Cluiston, he was arrested in December 8th with misdemeanor criminal mischief. Now, apparently, a witness called the police saying, and a man had cut open a German shepherd and was chewing on it. intestines in the public area and taking footage of it. Okay. And the man, the police arrived. Have you ever been to West Palm Beach? I have been to Palm Beach. Did you take a picture by the clock tower?

I don't think I did. I went to a wedding there. Oh, okay, yeah. And it was the only black tie wedding I've ever been to. Wow. And I didn't like it. No. You're getting married in Palm Beach.

It should be a linen wedding if you're going to do a theme. Or you're dig. But that's where the money is. It's good money. It's moneyed people. I don't look good in a country. tucks. I look like a I look like a pop-eye character

when I wear a tuxedo. You look like a corrupt public official. Yeah, exactly. I should be holding bags of money with the dollar sign on the thing. So this guy, so this is the thing. So they called the police. So I guess

like someone freaked out. They're saying, oh my God, he's eating a dog in a public area. And they go to the police, go to the John, go to Jonathan. And they're like, what the fuck do you do? He's like, I'm like eating a dog I'm eating a hog Yeah

So he rhymes with dog He had cut open He had cut open a hog And he's like This is my social media job He didn't kill the hog He bought a dead hog Yes and he

Films himself on his social media accounts That has over 3,000 followers Where he eats That's not that much He chews on For this For this His whole thing is just

Blowing up now It's just video of him Chewing on dead animals in various pretty locations. Now, when you see his photo, you go, yeah, that is his job. Yeah. So he looks like a, he looks like the

one of the criminals that tried to steal and rape Pippi Longstocking. Right. Yeah. He looks like he's built a doll out of body parts. Yes. Yeah. But he, but we don't understand. He got right back out, Jared, because that's just criminal misdemeanor and they literally said, because

it's not a dog, he could go home that day. Yeah. But the thing was, he caused, there was a lot of pig blood on the sidewalk that they had to clean. And they said that cost $346. But look, he's got a tarp down. Yeah, he was polite. He put a tarp. It's a garbage bag.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your first reaction? I mean, you know, my wife is so tired of hearing me talk. But my first reaction is that the internet and social media have turned our society into a blackened cancer. That I feel at this point, there's no hope of remediation. Yeah. I do, I think that this guy exists because of the internet. Very much so.

I think before social media and the internet, he would have just, you know, killed a couple co-eds and that would have been that. Yeah. But now he's the star. But I will say, Tara, though, in a way, is this not, hmm, it's almost equivalent to killing several women. Yeah. But it's own, but I don't know why it feels like that. It's not illegal. It's almost not illegal, Eddie.

Well, because they haven't thought to make it illegal. Well, no, because technically, he didn't kill the pig. He brought an already dead pig out. Technically, if there was a grill there, this would be a barbecue. It's destruction of property. It's the blood on the sidewalk is what he's in trouble for. It might be worth creating a new law. Yes.

You're not allowed to do this. Well, now we're discovering, we know also this would be a good update for you. Have you heard of the Burbank butt sniffer? No. Oh, yeah, this is a guy going around sniffing butts. This is actually really interesting, like, they have no idea how to keep this guy in jail. He's been arrested four times, where he goes on, he's all over Burbank and Glendale. He gets down on his, goes to bookstores and places.

He gets down on his hands and knees, and he sneaks up on women, and he sniffs their butt. But apparently he never touches them. He hasn't touched anybody. So they pick them up, and they basically hold them for, like, three days, and then have. to release them again because they're like we aren't we can't figure out how to properly I have an idea release them in calabasas what if what if just a thought what if someone kicked the shit out of these guys that's what we need their fucking ass I think that they would get more trouble than the pig eater and the butt sniffer I don't know you know they'd go to jail

for multiple years for you know that's the crazy part of that explain to the cop what happened Hey, you know, when it comes to beating people up, cops can, you know, it can help you out. You are, I would say, and we know police officers, I imagine that if you of a man try to sniff your girlfriend's butt and you kick them in the head. Yeah, I think if you kicked him in the head and they went and, you know, like they try, I imagine some police officers would probably do a little, they like, they do a little laugh. And then sometimes they'll just bring you in. And I've seen this too where they'll like put you in the car and then they're like, well, handcuffs. stuff you in front. And then they bring in and then you kind of go, you just kind of go

through the swinging doors and you go in and out. Yeah, yeah. They'll make it real easy for you if they really don't care. Yeah. Oh, this is him. Yeah. I just find interesting that he, he's got such big ears. Yeah, you think he'd be listening to the butts. Yeah. Well, maybe he can use them a

smell. Whoa, like a, like a snake? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His shit's all fucked up. This is a, this is, this is weird, because this guy doesn't look like a serial killer like the last guy. This guy looks like... He could be handsome, right? He could be an attractive guy. He doesn't need to be sniffing

strangers' butts, but as we learn, you know, the heart wants what the heart wants. The fart wants. With the fart wants. You know, Napoleon Hill says, don't worry about dreaming about things that you wish you could do. You're already doing what you're meant to be doing. And I think that that's what this is.

This is what we're saying where it's like, how can we... Is there a way to train him to maybe detect bombs? Yeah. There's a way to sort of do it. Oh, like how they took to catch me if you can guy and turned him against the other criminals? Can we release him against this?

How about, you know, I'm seeing a whole branded internet business for this guy. I smell your butt. I tell you, you know, how your chakras are misaligned or the toxins you have inside of you. He's already in Burbank. Yeah. That's the easiest crowd to sell that to.

Right? No problem. Yeah. Or you could be a fortune teller. Well, we've come up with those solutions today. His official sexes. One thing I want to go back to the pig story for two seconds. Great. The person who called it in said he was eating a German Shepherd? Yes.

It does not look like a pig. Well, it just shows you how rampant misinformation is in this society, you know? Yeah, because if you just looked closer and saw there was a hog, she'd be like, oh. You know that the person who said it was a German shepherd was a liberal. Oh, course. Tell me about it. Making a big deal. I'm eating a dead animal on the sidewalk.

It's just like, and the cops just yourself. And the guy who's just straight to fact, being like, oh, it's not a dog. It's a hog. I can't say, this is what I do. So silly that you would think this is a problem. Yeah. What's the wrong? No, this is what I do.

It's my job. Yeah. He's an influencer. I just, you know, I just feel like, you know, a couple hundred years. ago they would have just grabbed him off the street and dragged him off to kill him and like sure that led to a lot of bad

stuff but then it solved problems too you know I look at the last election I think a lot about how a lot of these 18 year olds should have been in a war yeah they should have been too busy fighting something they should have been too busy in an army getting some kind of training they should have been that's what the I feel

like we kind of need to go back in a way to that like I think these that guy was supposed to die in a feudal style trench warfare. But he's going to die. The trichlonosis is going to take him out at some point. I think he's been very careful. Isn't that like the worst thing to eat raw? It's up there. Chicken's the worst.

The technically, if you want to get into it, beef, the beef commissions did a whack job on pork in order to, they do a whole thing where the Polish is coming out. You want to get into some real fucking conspiracy theories? The beef industry made the health

implications of eating raw pork more intense. They put a thumb on that in order to fuck with the pork industry in order to, that's the reason why I'd much rather eat medium rare beef than pork. Well, yeah, because it's grew up, but also we've been trained for that. That is a cultural thing that we

have ingested because we were told how bad pork was to eat. Do you think it got to like my food handler's license test? Because they're very strict about it. But I think that's what I'm saying. Exactly why it went to your food handler's license. It's because beef originally was fucking with it. Tartar. You've got

to be able to have a nice tartar. I eat tart two or three times a day. I think, you know, this just shows, again, how the liberals are ruining the country because... Thank you. Listen, the over-regulation of freak shows, this guy can't get work as a geek. That guy should... Exactly. He should be in...

This is a traveling road gig. Why is there no, like, shanty circuses anymore? Right? That's where that guy should be. He should be on a boardwalk. I think there are shanty circuses. We just don't roll in those crews anymore. Side stories, L-P-O-T-L-Gmail.com.

Where can we find a shanty circuses? circus. Are you in a shanty circus? Please reach out. Can we come and be in one? Can we come and see one? We'll come. We'll give you two bits to see you eat a dead hawk. Jared, thank you so much for being here. Thank you guys. Is there anything else you want to plug before you go? Just check me out on the Glass

Cannon Network, where I do all kinds of games. I play in them and I'm a game master for them. And then also, please, please go and watch Henry and I and Jackie and our good buddy, Ross Brian and Ed Larson I show up for two seconds

You should be a player in a in a game. You should be a mainstay player. You'd have to have a lot of patience with me. I don't think so. I think you're a natural. Anyway, how good is Ross? I mean, Ross is... Ross just reads Paradise Lost for fun. He's a strange genius.

He's so smart. Hey, tell people about the stand-up show you do with Kara. Oh, yes. So if you're in the Los Angeles area, every Wednesday at 8 p.m. at Barbandini in Echo Park. You can see my wife and I perform together on our show, Better Half Comedy, where we have fantastic comedians all the time. My favorite comedians like Maria Bamford, we had the last show. Eddie Pepitone.

Dana Gould, John Early, all of these people that I absolutely love come on our show. We'd love for you to come and check it out. 8 p.m. Wednesdays, Bar Bandini, Echo Park. we're coming back on I think January 7th we're on a little holiday break Live comedy is the best thing in the country right now That is the thing to go do

Go support live comedy special if you're in L.A. We need to bring our comedy scene back Amen, amen, amen. Well, Jared, thank you so much for stopping by. I eternally love you and I think you're one of the funniest people in the world. I love you guys. Thank you. My sweet prince. What a wonderful Christmas season we have ahead of us, hey. Oh, God.

Thank God. I'm so excited. What a great year, man. This has been a great side stories year. I've had so much fun. Yeah, I know. And let me ask you. Let me do this live. Let's do this live and then see, we'll do, let's get a poll. Sidesores L-P-O-T-L-G-Mel.com, because I'd love to know, should we officially do a death poll? What do you mean? Like, should we do an official death pool, 2026, where we set up our guesses? Where do you put Dick Van Dyke?

Oh, I mean, that's too. I mean, like, we're going to have to do, like, those. I think we're going to have to do like what we actually won't make any money on and then we have to do a couple like totally totally off the wall once yeah because we need you know obviously we need some murders in there yes but also one that we don't know

and you don't know what's going to get hit by a car absolutely like in my mind first thing I'm thinking of like and this is not my choices but I would say like it's like Dick Van Dykes one side Paulie Shore I mean Andy Dick obviously but I feel like that's a you should talk about because I feel like that's less outs

I think Polly Shore is, like, surprisingly healthy. Exactly. That's what I'm saying, Eddie, is like, that would be my ring. That's the 20 to one spot. So we need to talk about this. Maybe. Let's see what the audience might think it's cruel. I might not want us to do it.

It is cruel. But maybe we shouldn't, maybe they should submit some people we don't know. Maybe you have a grandfather that's about to clock out. I'm saying if we include them in it, they'll think it's less evil. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want family members involved in our death watch. I'll bet on who's going to die in your family. Yeah, I think that's how we really do that's awesome

Yeah, I think we add like a personal aspect Yes to the celebrity death watch I love that idea Yeah Who was it last year? Didn't we do this for 2025? No, we never did it We've never officially done it because people get upset Yes, we talked about it

It's like I think that's because we've never done it Because people get upset But I think that we're ready to be upset So I want the audience But I want to see I'm already upset I want the audience I'm already mad and upset

So he might as well have some fun And make some money while doing it But who knows? Dick Van Dyke number one on the Death Watch. Of course. Why? He looks great. It's because I honestly think they put so much weight on him hitting 100.

Yeah. That he might have used, have all of his strength getting him to 100 and then he might pass. Dom Chomsky. 97. Fingers crossed. He's what I want to see go. Man, Yoko Ono is going to live forever. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Patreon.com slash last by guest left. Give us money to watch us do this live. We also, every Tuesday, 6 p.m. PSD, we do our live stream. Last stream on the left on Patreon, only live. And then it goes to free on our YouTube page. You go check it out there.

And go see the other shows on our YouTube page. Like, we've been plugging LPN TV. Go check out Bloodbath presented by LPNRP. That's right. Also, January 4th is a great Christmas present. Come see me and my friends. in Oxnard Levity Live. That's Oxnard, California. It's right below Santa Barbara.

I got Carolina Hidalgo, Julia Johns, Holden McNeely, and Jake Young, all doing the show with me. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm going to host it and do really long host sets and bring my friends on and off. It's going to be a shit ton of fun. You're going to want to check that out. That's going to be January 4th at Oxnard Levity Live. And then in February 18th, I'm going to San Francisco. I'm going to be as a Wednesday night.

So this is for the locals. Wow. Yeah. San Francisco Punch. line one night only me Grant Gordon and my wonderful wife Julie Rosen is going to host it It's going to be a lot of fun so come Check out those shows

Also I want to give a big shout out And to Jimmy's Corner Which is my favorite bar All right my favorite bar is in jeopardy Of shutting down It is the littlest little bar in Midtown It's a tiny time square dive bar It's a boxing bar

Has the best jukebox I've ever fucking seen and the beer they still have four dollar budwisers in the middle of time square um for jimmy glen um who used to own jimmy's corner he really wanted to fuck julie um he used to always give her the eyes but he was a good guy he's allowed to look honestly it just gives you strength that he but he died of covid during the height of covid and then his son took over the bar and he had they had a sweetheart deal with um durst the um not the murder durst the brother his brother they had a sweetheart deal with him and then after Jimmy died

Durst is like you know what we're gonna sell the building and knock it down and so Jimmy's corner they're fighting tooth and nail great one of some of the best bartenders I've ever met It's just such a funny place It's weird

It's like they've got classic If you want to see what New York Out of 1970s was like It's the last Like touch of that There's people who've been going there for like 40 years Yeah you know it's a really great place The guy Jimmy he

who used to run the place, he was like a boxing trainer for Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson. There's all kinds of great photos. So even if this place does end up going down and he used to find a new home. But you can still, Budweisers are $4. A pint of beer is three. In the middle of Times Square, it's getting

eliminated. It was the last true bar in that part of town. And so I'm very sad to see it go. Please give it some support and see if we can keep this fucking thing alive. Like I said, it's my favorite bar. So if you're in New York this time, just go and give them

some money, go experience it before it closes. It is really one of the great places I've ever been. It's pretty great man, to go check it out while you can. New York has no memory, my friend. It doesn't. I still love it, though. Love every day, no one for a fact. You're your memories, right? You've got to laugh

at your own memories and you've got to live for the fact that yeah, you might, sometimes when you look back at something, you miss. You miss how you felt at the time and not things you were doing. I'm going to think about that. Sometimes, it's about you can't get a feeling back. No.

But what's a new amazing feeling that you can have? Masturbation. Congrats. Hail Satan, everyone. Yeah, Robert.