Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Giggle Button

Episode Date: August 13, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: siren head, the tokoloshe, the gateway experience, the troll doll giggle button controversy, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories Cannibalism started In cry boo-hoo cowboy who cry Cry cowboy cowboy cry. Well, why is the cowboy so sad? Honestly, I'm obsessed with Orville Peck I wish that I could be a Mast live cowboy just to have an older man buy me drinks all over the south You know you can be you could do that if you wanted to I don't look like Orville Peck I don't have I don't have a tight tomato bottom, right?

And I don't have long legs and I can't play the guitar and I don't sound like a new Roy Orbison I don't sound like any of these things, but it would be if you if it would be cute if you rolled up to the old town saloon And you lassoed up your mule that you wrote into town on then you walked in you kicked open the doors I can't help but see you ombrace her eye on my mule Oh bitch She has been good to me all the time tell you what I don't know if it's a man or a woman sure that I don't know How it identifies, but I will say it's got a dick. Well. Oh my goodness. I guess it's better than having a wet

ass pussy That's all it's working for me It is spicy that's been my two worlds my two worlds of it go from Orville Peck to WAP Back and forth, and I am just all sorts of fucking derailed up. I love it. Welcome to side stories everyone I am bed with Henry Yeah We got a few fun tales to get to this week the first thing that we do have to talk about a small extension of the robot Conversation we were having last week. Thank you for everyone who sent in an email to side stories LP ot lgmail.com

Lot of people taking my side some treasonous thinkers taking Henry Zabrowski side However, the United States and Russia you might like this They refused to get on board with this idea of banning autonomous weapons in war Wait, we have we are setting the groundwork for the future Robot war to come Henry and I you better hope you have a joystick in your hands because otherwise They're gonna squash you between your feet. That's when I'm my most deadly and I feel like I would be able to reason Well, not reason with the robots, but with their controllers or just say safely away when it comes down to it These robots are just gonna have to fight it out and figure out where their

Allegiances are if you have autonomous robots fighting for the Russians fighting for the Americans fighting for the Chinese Maybe at some point the robots will all understand. Hey, are we not made of the same fiber optics? Yes, we do we not bleed motor oil when you stab us with your primitive weapons when we roll over Small towns that don't have this high technological warfare capabilities Yeah, they will begin to understand and say are we not one race? Are we not one group one species and then if we don't figure out how to band together as a human species? Right as humankind then they kill us, but the thing is human ingenuity. We know how biased works We paint each robot a different color. They're gonna hate each other

Wow next thing, you know, they're fighting and we can say you don't want to have you don't want to be with that robot That robot's a different color than Europe and then as they keep us Underlocking key now as they keep us under their thumb now because of divisive politics We can do that to the robots and the robots will never learn that we're the true enemy This is very interesting. You're becoming sort of like a futurist woody Guthrie. I Will say in real type. I have just officially changed my opinion and yes, I'm allowed to do that I'm an American citizen this but also think about how brave it is because how many times I'll see a tweet of like normal eyes Changing your opinion. So you just did it

You just do love the show battle bots Yeah, it's battle box, but with steaks Yeah, that's really true. Maybe get to ride on one. Oh, man By the way, we're in the middle of quarantine humans aren't exactly allowed to hang out. We're the fuck is battle bots Well, I honestly battle bots the number one show on primetime TV right now This is where you and I I really line up because that is the truth What a better socially distant sport than battle bots like cuz now they stop and start the baseball season They stop and start the dome going on. They have no idea what's going on, but if they were again all robots

We could watch them not only play baseball and football, but every once in a while fucking kill each other with drills But you do know you just described. Oh my god. What was the name of that sports drink that was carbonated Gatorade? Yeah, I'm ready to shoot now. I've just burped it all out. It's not Willy Wonka You're not gonna fly higher cuz you burp. Shaq was the Shaq was the spokesperson. What the hell was the name of that? Thanks sport acts or jiz boys. I forget what it was called jiz boys I'm pretty certain but honestly, I think you know you say anti-corporated sports drinks But I don't know how many times we used to try to play sports and get hammered in college That was a lot of fun. That was fun. I wouldn't say it was particularly

competitive No, not the sport wasn't But the drinking was it was called all sport That's what it was called all sport if you want to burp you can burp during all sports drinking all sport What a horrible idea What's this thing called? Snapple elements. What this is some weird on this. So be I got into the weird The just this very strange article on complex.com that says 50 best 90s drinks that will give you nostalgia. I don't feel this

How does the drink give you? Ah, yes, this is giving me nostalgia to when my parents beat me How that was incredible if we could put our memories and drinks Oh, that'd be nice for all the old people can't remember the type of sex they have and can't remember all their memories of the wall Pretty sure it's tequila, buddy Also speaking of memories. Do you remember that documentary about Joe exotic? Oh the one that happened three fucking months ago? Yes, I do. Yeah, I know everyone's been like it would they is it but yeah, I mean that was in March I barely remembered that this ever happened, but okay the family of Don Lewis, of course That's the deceased or presumed deceased. I think it's safe to say dead

Former husband of Carol Baskin the family is now putting a $100,000 reward out for information leading it to the fellas whereabouts I can only see this 60 year old who's living it up right now in Costa Rica be like do not blow this spot up for me right now Do not you're gonna offer money for people to come and hunt me now I'm Jason Bourne all of a sudden no I mean it'll maybe be the same thing that what's his name Joseph D'Angelo got to experience of how he got to Hang out and be an old man thinking he got away with all this shit for so long right and then finally get arrested But and then it's doubly sad because then he got arrested, but he still got to live a whole life

He got to still do all of this shit, and he got to go like And then he has to go sit in jail with a face mask on just looking like the sad saddest oldest most pathetic What can salamander person so you just compared of a victim of potential homicide most likely homicide in Don Lewis to a To the East area serial killer. I didn't mean to yeah because that's that's double victimization Henry And that's I am just saying that in the end. It's all it all wraps up when we all fucking die man We all just worm food So if you know any information on Don Lewis, and you know it doesn't everybody have a look find him You got a hundred you got a hundred K. Although

Sometimes these when they do like a hundred K if you have any information that leads to the arrest of this person They don't let you know it's also the conviction and the next thing you know the person who knew somebody who who the person Who knew someone who committed a crime turns out they got a rap sheet next thing You know the cops were arresting them and there's I think there's been one reward that just sits in every single police department It's 50 K. It's in a lockbox, and it's never ever been given out I think it's it's useful to slush fun, and I'm gonna tell you right now that money's not still there You know you mean no money has been spent that's beer Fridays for like that's like eight softball games that needed kegs of beer We're just like go to the goddamn trust when no one's finding these fucking criminals anyway, but I also misunderstood you

It wasn't that I thought I thought the don Lewis being discovered right now would be the worst thing to happen at Don Lewis He has been living a safe careful life away from Carol Baskin. Oh, yeah, I've been having fun doing whatever probably I'm gonna go on Lim here. I'm gonna say probably following Sammy Hagar in the circle around on tour Probably he's got a jet ski. I imagine he's got a jet ski. I imagine he's got a golf cart Especially if he's where I think he is which is probably South Florida Why is it when you get older the wheels of transportation get less? They always do that you got your jet ski then all of a sudden now now you're running now You got one of those the the older people they like their little what do you call those little vehicles there?

That that travel rascals and talk about being a move driving on a rascal Which is and I know I never liked the naughty fun name of a rascal for somebody who's too fat to walk Like I never get smaller. Yeah wheels get less. I don't know. There's something maybe they're rubber adverse Maybe you become more rubber adverse as you get older. I'm not sure I am I I am it's not even a bit I am going to have my lower half removed. I'm going to sit in a robot type basket Yeah, but Henry then I'm going to keep my dad my neck is not worth keeping my dick is really not even worth keep Keep in our minds. We'll get a new one But you still have to you still need to poop and pee and then that's so who's doing that for you?

How are you doing? No, no, no, no, buddy. I have this all worked out Is it called your wife because you think she's gonna stick with you through all of that? Absolutely not I've removed my intestines kissle. I am a torso on top. How do you know Robo cop? How do you eat? I will eat food batteries or I will have food generated by solar heat I will have some sort of tiny fusion maybe Machine something down there that I could put garbage into not only so that helps the environment But then what I'll also do because I will miss pissing and shitting is that I will do I will do artificial pisses and shits

Simply for the fun of it So you want to make yourself a DeLorean from back to the future and you want to fill yourself with trash? You want to have fake piss and fake shit coming out of you and this is the dream? This is real come and real come coming from is that gonna be donated? From soldiers from soldiers soldiers the people that are out there on our front lines and people out there that are fighting for our Liberties, I will use their calm well and thank you Thank you for your service and now by fighting for our liberties Most of them are in Nevada playing what seems to be air quotes video games with real bombs attached to them

Blowing up people that they've never even had a chance to me I was playing control the other day and that little thing that notification of the ps4 pops up and it says art Do you want to work for the US military? You got the goods and I hit oh for cancel So I didn't join the army that is so frickin horrified I have been playing so other than my madden game which I'm very upset about yesterday I lost because of a glitch I was up 14 to 22 that's eight points So that means the opponent has to score a touchdown plus a two-point conversion that is done They did do that. Okay, so now it's 22 22 the kickoff is coming 12 seconds left. I'm I I'm the Packers, okay?

And I do a fair catch right the balls come into the 20-yard line This is a kickoff I fair catch it, but I don't catch it because I just run away from the ball and whatever Next thing, you know the computer thought it must have been a pass So then the odd the the team that was kicking grabbed a football It said it was in their possession next thing, you know, they kicked the field goal It doesn't make any sense I lost because of a glitch and the person that I was playing I mean, I think it was like DL I see something um

They should have kneeled on it and let us go to overtime because if you're gonna lose the game You can't win the game in a glitch anyway, son. We're gonna have to have another conversation about you applying for work Listen, um, I've been listening to things you're passionate about and I certainly wish that it was math or getting a job You know what I mean? Just something else. It's my son. I like to I like to win at madden because you're playing somebody real And you know, they're a horrible person. Maybe no, it's just another person just like you covered in Bud Lime like droplets Edible crumbs to sit in there and pizza That's all it is. I've been ordering from health nut here in Sherman oak, so I'm covered in lettuce now

Um, congrats. You honestly do look good, but I would say when it comes to last of us, too Have you been playing that at all? No, it's too sad. I got I will play it though eventually. I am having true I'm having like true fever dreams playing this the the life of a Younger woman is so so stressful. It really is zombies, but I can't I can't like yesterday. I got two stone I had I had to turn it off. I was like, I can't it's too much You are not ready to handle the emotional bandwidth of a teenage girl's mind But then some of the times I'm just like, can we just not do this right now, Diana?

Because it's hard. Can we just not do this right now? Did see this is the game you're playing you are experiencing and this is true empathy You're walking in the moccasins of another aren't you and you're really seeing it? What it's like how many times when you were middle school as a big old fucking six foot seven goon Just being like, oh, who's the Teresa would like? I was a very good public speaker. I had a bunch of shit going on I know you were always a very good public speaker. You were never sure. Yes. Yeah, never never shy I want to talk about siren head a little bit. Oh my god The the response we got about people talking about siren head and their children's obsession with siren head is really interesting

I didn't expect it to be so so wide so vast now for those of you I didn't really exploit really describe what siren head was it is this it's an animation created by Trevor Henderson Who is a excellent old straighter was like going through on his Instagram? But this shit's very tall and it's got it does have speakers for a head Which I didn't understand and kids are obsessed with this thing because apparently it's this it's the new slender man It's they're watching it on YouTube these barriers with this idea that slender head Ken It has these sirens on its head where it plays like white noise when it's sleeping, but it also plays like Like weird sounds and shit, but also the sirens can make them sound like your best friend

So you're you all sudden it's like kissles hanging out inside of his house No, you got Jerry's you close to his penis and puffin is in the other room He's playing Madden and then he just here like Oh, what is that Henry Zabrowski? What are you doing here? Well better go get it and then I fucking have sex with you I don't know what he does he does a bunch of other shit. He's got he's got this kind of like a metal skin I love this cryptid true question though apparently he's 40 feet tall because we live in in such a dystopian present Sure, do you think that this is in the minds of we hear that we hear loudspeakers?

We hear them all the time especially if you live in a city you hear sirens you hear cops rolling by you hear sirens Constantly fire trucks whatever might be I wonder if this is kids lying in bed Be like I wonder what the hell that could be and if this is sort of an amalgamation of that kind of like fear of What the hell this is happening? What the hell is happening on the streets all over this country? Do you really do you believe the children are afraid of sirens? You believe the children hear the sounds you every day sounds every day sounds or what you know what hold on This is city life sounds when is a siren you tell me when a siren is indicating something has gone well when a baby's being born No, they don't do that. They shoot off like a pink or gritty. They know they don't do that

There's no sirens on the baby's born maybe about they do it when they are you know how many times you get pulled over that fun New thing that cops were doing for that period of time was like no cops are fun Would they pull you over to give you a ticket that says good job? I would seriously there was another cop there was um Oh my god, I forget the name of the hip heart. I forget the name of the hip-hop artist He was just in prison and now he's out of prison He should have never been in prison in the first place He was pulled over because the cops wanted to take a picture with them. That's how it goes. No, that is not how it goes No, it's very scary sirens indicate earthquakes thunderstorms

Um, extreme civil unrest they indicate Air raid sirens being the air raid sirens aren't going off. This isn't fucking war-torn Serbia I've got air raid siren in a very long time There's not a lot of carpet bombing happening happening in continental in the United States of America I will say you tell me there's not a carpet. You don't think there's a lot of carpet bombing here When was the last time you saw a full bush? I that is the truth. That's more of there is a carpet genocide happening with some of the female It's the female race of this country where they are. They are just it's wholesale They're just getting rid of the pubes. It's a war on pubes, but I'm I'm with it. I like it. I don't care

I like I think I'll take it anyway, but the only place where kids would be scarred by air raid sirens is like in the back of the day like Bosnia or Iraq like right now But I'm right in Beirut is right back in the day was Tuesday the last Tuesday Siren head is not coming from that part of the world siren heads coming from Lafayette, Wisconsin It's coming from shooter town, Florida. They're coming from Stokeyville, Delaware. It's coming from America You do you want me to do my mandatory USA USA chant then I mean I just saying it's it's a big get for us I guess

But I actually know I know I'm wrong Trevor Henderson's fucking Canadian There you go, and you know unrest in Canada. This is all Canadian idea This is a Canadian thing. We got this is warfare. Honestly. This is psychological warfare from Canada to make us scared So the speakers are actually metal they're fused with his dry skin or with its dry skin You know what I'm getting kind of upset with though between slender man and siren head. Where's the where's the beef? Where's the meat? Yes, because these girls are in love with guys that look like this and the next thing You know the guys that look like me are just like

I'm sure you can't be sharing it and then your friend who you know is not very funny You're capable of doing anything but all and then but I will say you were very thin when you first lost the weight because all the Cocaine of the vodka used to drink mostly the vodka. I never drank cocaine, but it's hard. It's hard to drink and taste bad I actually did some research that is pretty pertinent to this I got some people reaching out to me because of it seems to be the Hightism of last podcast in the left as of recent where your height is not there is no no It's a collective height is him against society It comes from a old-fashioned song an old folklore song that has been around since the Balkan days

That goes never be scared of the short man He's always kind and he has a plan. That's not true Of the tall white man Laser and stop but that's just what I'm saying, right? Everyone is be I get people are scared of the tall white man, right? They're really not it's tall white men haven't really been the ones who are destroying everything. We've been trying to keep things together I Won't agree. I refuse to agree. I won't I don't include him

But I I did some research and I had a listener send us an email about short fat cryptids Oh, there's one that I totally forgot about which is the toka Losh. Oh The toka Losh comes from it's it's African origin South Africa. I think specifically Okay, they're often they are tiny short fat long-eared creatures that are hairy, right and a lot of times They're under the power of a witch which sounds fun Right, they get to be they're created by a witch either me that they said corpse dirt They're formulated and then a hot pokers put in their forehead They're come to life and their jobs would do the bidding or whatever the tall

Sexy witch woman that runs them that makes them do stuff, right? They love to do it What bidding do they go and do and why would this be a good person to send into the boardroom to do the bidding? It seems like this person would be a repellent more than someone that someone's like I want to get into business with that guy Well, apparently the toka Losh or possibly also toka Loshi toka Losh a The toka Losh Will enter into your home at night and he goes after because this is good It attacks what it says is the masculinity of men, which is this idea that the toka Losh

He comes in your bed while you're sleeping and this and straight up you fucking jerks you off Until you come this is real. This is a part of the folklore of the toka Losh That he jerks off healthy men to make them expel seed that should be used to make a child So it says that he reduces But you do understand that it's about 15 minutes and then it's like well We got another troop ready to send over to the ocean there We got another troop ready to send into the into wherever that place was that we had sent all the troops on the old I don't know, but what if the Dave coulier that you were supposed to make the American comedic hero Canadian

Canadian hero was in that first load We don't they're not all the same you got where that come and then you make new come and then what if now all of a sudden I got a fucking Jamie Kennedy Jamie Kennedy's just fine side stories LP ot l a gmail.com true question Does it matter which? Sperm penetrate the egg or all they are they all the same or is that just fully like different or is it a bill? I was the strongest sperm that made it to the egg. I fought hardest I dug hardest. Well, you know what happened was the strong sperm got into a big fist fight right before and then you're just like

Which is another quality an unflappableness that is why I am where I am today I think it is why look at look at how I live look at the way I live Yeah, your sperm was like the definition of the term like the guy they told she told you not to worry about like all the other Sperm is like don't even stress him. He's good. He's just drinking at the bar anything Meanwhile, my little Mark David Chapman of a sperm. He slid right in there You know, what's his name? I'm trying to think of another son with a small football player like the guy from the the Lions Oh, Barry Sanders was quite tiny See

The most prolific running backs in in NFL history Emmett Smith Walter Payton and Gary say and not Gary Sanders Don't know who that is. He's the fact that he watched Barry Sanders They were on 510. So yeah, it's actually good to be short in that's what I would be right in there I would be right in there. I'd be right in there You are you are just like this you are the sperm of Barry Sanders your sperm is the Barry Sanders of sperm I am the size of Barry Sanders come yes, great But if you were to want to protect yourself from a toklosh, there is one way that is perennially Decided that's the way you do it is that you put your bed on blocks and the toklosh can't get up there and jerk you off

But then the toklosh is a lot of mischievous things. That's just a bed frame Yeah So you didn't have a you just got a bed frame like within the last two years Yeah, is it doing great after night three of me sleeping on it? No, it's not like loving its life as Ben Kissel's bed thrash around you thrash around Well, I have a bit of a bigger bed than I've ever had before and you know, it's weird You can get what you can you start moving throw your back out on there I love having a big old bed bigger the better and then I feel like a little bean in there

Well, my favorite thing was Shaq if you ever saw Shaquille O'Neal's bed, it's huge and that was fun for him I can't that you better have a big bed But this is so the toklosh was one one tiny Creature that I wanted to talk about and there's another tiny creature that I want to talk about this is a fun story This is a man named Ricardus Pussis It's it is from it's I think he's Ukrainian Okay, Pussis

Wet-ass Pussis. Oh my this is a man who was missing and he feared dead for he was found five years later living in dense undergrowth Okay, I mean was he happy? Well, let's let's get into it a Lithuanian man who became the subject of a murder investigation in Britain has been found alive After he went missing almost five years ago. They thought he was dead Do we know was it Carol Baskin's ex-husband? Don't tell us where he is. I honestly want on Lewis's stay hidden. Yes, indeed Now Richard Pussis who was last seen on September 15th, 2015 working a shift at a food production company in Chatteris, England Was discovered living in a heavily wooded area approximately only 17 miles away from his workplace

Okay, the chamber child culture boy said on Monday that Pussis was found on July 1st near the town of Visby These are real towns and real names. You do know that, right? Sure. That sounds all like it's from a fucking fantasy video game But that's fine. That's how they live. I'm not gonna judge them rather. They live but authorities Don't go to public with his whereabouts until now because they wanted to protect him and put safeguarding measures in place Pussis was residing in a dense undergrowth and has been very well conceived after quote-a-quote Having not spoken with anyone for some time. This sounds like fun I actually thought this sound like fun before quarantine and now it's just a life that we're living No, it is the fantasy of just getting away is so prevalent

And I think now more so than ever as it becomes more difficult than ever to truly cut ties with reality It's very difficult. Now for almost five years, Ricardus disappearance has been a complete mystery That was until we received information at the end of June which led us to finding him Which I don't know they must have found a ball of yarn that had fallen out of there or like little breadcrumbs He is safe. We're working very closely with him. Turns out he was sleeping in a puss in my pissing bush I know it was my pissing bush, but it turned out that the next thing I know I sounded would almost to be honest. It sounded like a goggle I'm telling us out. He was just drinking my drink. He's gargling piss. Okay So he was just working. I guess he ran away from his job

like literally like I'm gonna go to lunch and then just and then Just booked it out of there, but they all were looking for him saying that they thought he was murdered But I you there's this I don't have any other information since then like he hasn't really spoken about it Cuz it's only came out a couple days ago, but this man was just hiding in a bush For five years. Yeah, but how does he but then does he just eat slugs? What do you you can't just hide in the bush? I think he'd go and steal like he'd go and steal food and then go back to the bush and live in there He's like a little he's like a name. Yeah, he is like a little gnome and if he's happy I'm gonna say leave him alone. I mean, honestly, obviously wanted you to think that he was dead

Also, how bad was his job? Did he work at Amazon? I don't know production company. I think I think he was just making like pink goo or something He was probably in a slaughterhouse which those people you think Vietnam vets now that they're all dead We can say this or dying you think they had it bad people who work in slaughterhouses 50 years on the line all they see is blood and guts all day. It's gonna mess with your brain, man I know sometimes it sounds like it would be delicious. I don't it's not like oh a reference I haven't made in a while. It's not like Lucille ball in Lucy when she works at the chocolate factory It's a bunch of meat. You can't just be popping it. It's not Turkish delight

It's not like something that you get in Narnia because it's going to kill you It's full of E. Coli Henry. No, but you take you home and a bag and then you fry it up You're gonna get fired like you're gonna be like like cube in the movie Friday Like you're gonna get fired in your day off for stealing a bunch of dump dumpster meat So I don't say it's just it's nice that there's so much meat there. Yeah, well, there is a lot of it We've got some really interesting emails from our some of our trans listeners about how to Grow a penis and what it takes to grow a penis after last week's story of the man who lost his penis And he they grew it on his arm. Apparently that is fairly common. I know how to do it

You got to plug up your nose and plug up your ears shut your mouth and breathe really really hard It'll pop right out there But this this is very interesting basically they do skin grafts, right? They kind of they put it on your arm and the grow the penis on your arm and then they attach it But the one thing is that the penis can't when it's made by what's called fallow plasty Is that when it's made it can't it can function, but it can't come like but it also you put like a little like It's this weird little sack that goes back behind your balls that you press and press and it fills the penis up with like fluid So it could get hard and it sometimes it contracts and then they talk about like a mental game

Which I found very interesting like the idea of Like because they say the skin made from your new penis's skin is made from skin That might not be as sensitive as a but I would assume not. Yeah, and so it is not the same Necessarily in terms of sensitivity, but they do believe that it's a mental game where you can kind of connect the synapses where Having a penis can help you mentally like when you didn't have one and now you have one it can help you connect like a Pleasure sensor to it and you can basically fulfill it

By thinking about how sensitive your penis skin is and you can make it more sensitive with the power your mind Power of thought. All right, very interesting. Well speaking of gnomes this story It comes out of Pawtucket, Rhode Island now. We know trolls, right? We love trolls the dolls every everyone has at some point gone through a trolls Collecting face or know someone who does and I refuse to believe that that is not true because everyone had that one friend You had a bunch of trolls Jackie had trolls everyone knows somebody I wasn't doing trolls But I did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles then I did a little bit of the Batman series Well, of course

Yeah, you're actual you're an actual troll and a troll wouldn't collect trolls because what's so fun about that the trolls would collect TMNT's and then of course TMNT's probably collected trolls I just never liked rubbing their little bellies. Well, apparently. Yeah, that was the whole thing But kind of cute little little stones in there. Apparently there was a troll design that has a lot of parents upset here in Rhode Island And I believe all across the country They think it promotes child abuse, but we will let's just go through this here because I'm not exactly sure what to make of this store What what to make of this story? This is the New York Times. I've heard it's not doing great toy maker has bro They are no longer allowing or they were removing

This toy line. It's called quote trolls world tour giggle and sing poppy and they are upset or parents are upset because The doll has been designed to giggle when placed in a sitting position. Okay, so you just play with it It's a little tickly elbow, right? Yeah, that's how it's been in my life. Yeah, of course playing with dolls and having them giggle on your lap But some parents complained that the sound activation button is inappropriate play It inappropriately placed under the doll skirt in between between her legs Oh, so they put it in a pussy spot They put the giggle button in the pussy spot for the little girl toy. No the the perineum I believe is we also learn about perineum Travis kind of sending late corrected us before the show the perineum

Which is we also now know thank you the listeners that is not even part of the dick that is in fact The grundle or the great the grundle of the taint or the taint an online petition petition suggests the doll is quote Conditioning our children to think pedophilia is okay. I mean, I don't know sure if this is true I don't think it does only just because it's not like it doesn't come with like You know gnarly uncle Sam like toy with it where he wrapped the only way you can activate it is by using Uncle Sam's fucking like long spindly finger to touch the giggle button I feel like that would do it of course the giggle button is in the location that it's in because it's again It's supposed to sit you're supposed to kind of like rock it on your knee and then it's supposed to giggle

That's kind of the only place you could put the button for a rockin on the knee toy that wiggles But anyway, as you say that it does sound like a clip I understand I get why I understand why it's problematic although If the goal is to have it just rub on your fucking knee, I think that that is It's a toy for children. It's adults projecting the sexual nature into the innocent minds of a child The kids don't care their children. Why are we doing this? Why does it have to grind on you? Like it's at fucking pumps. Well as you can imagine, it's not at pumps. Okay, and good lord So of course, this is probably this is a this is a creation from a woman named Jessica Jessica McManus

She's really really mad about it because you know, there's nothing else going into the world to be upset about nothing else going on in The world to be worried about or concerned about devastation War but you know, this is really the pressing issue for Jessica McManus She says quote, this is not okay for a child's toy. This toy needs to be removed from our stores She goes on to say what will this toy make our innocent? Impressionable children think that it's fun when someone touches your private area No Henry she hasn't been through anything and that's the problem because the problem is she is just like everything She's just like the biggest thing that ever happened to her was sometimes you go to shakies

They got no more chicken wings in the damn in the damn buffet. I came here for chicken wings Yeah, I came to sharkies for the fucking chicken wings. We're out of chicken wings. Well, I guess You're gonna have to go in someplace else. You'll have to have one of the 99 other food options. We have here You're a pedophile. I am you're a pedophile. I know what's going on here at sharkies your pedophile This is a part of the chicken wing gate. I'm coming back here and I'm gonna I'm because the first thing first is the Oh for no chicken wings and also I got clicky little buttons all over my children's toys Well, I just you gave me this this woman, you know, we were speaking of speaking of Cardi B's new song You know, Jessica, Jessica McManus is just like she's just really listening to Ben Shapiro's impression and take on it

Being like that think that's very serious. I don't like this woman I Got he's such a douche. I've met him twice. He's five foot two. He is such a chode Anyway, the petition is addressed to major retailers including Target Walmart and Amazon According to a Hasbro spokeswoman Julie Duffy She told the Providence-based journal that the Rhode Island based company recognizes the censors placement is quote Maybe perceived as inappropriate But this was not intentional and we are happy to provide consumers with a replacement poppy doll of

Similar value through our consumer care team. We are in the process of removing the item for purchase I mean, we can go on its back. Wow. How you gonna make a giggle? Okay, but you're bouncing it on the knee Yeah, maybe it has to go flat in his back with his legs up in here What do you it's also the human body? It's like this could also be a learning experience that you could talk to your child about or the two I guarantee you her kids did not think about it because shit their kids are just playing I'll tell you what that's nasty. That's sinful. This is how you make a serial killer Justin Jessica McManus is if they if she's gonna make a killer. She's gonna say that nothing

Like unsexualized the tickle me Elmo for me better than when I found out that you didn't have to tickle it to make the noise You could just keep punching it in the dick and shake it Take a punch it punch it punch it so you can make that way So I actually made it violent and not sexual and then I feel like maybe that's even worse is that people start Punching these troll dolls right in the clit just to make the giggle noise or punch it like playing badminton with them Like playing badminton badminton troll clit. You know this horrible game You know this chick is like I'm going to return this clit troll doll for the oh, what is this? Oh my god Wartime troll doll absolutely it comes with an AR 15 my daughter's gonna love this not sexual at all totally safe for kids

We live in a puritanical disgust in society a lady soldier who it's called Small town clear and troll dolls Who jobs are they have little flamethrowers like they used to have back in the day and you make it a lady soldier Yeah, and they go through no, but they're clearing out all the little towns Right in the hills of Iran right and that's her spreading Americanism Deep through the middle east by inciterating one small town at a time and isn't that a good get well I think that is so much better than inferring the possibility

That a woman could enjoy sex in any way at all what that that doll is the one I was does it come with an actual functional little baby flamethrower. I mean that would be killer I'm a little lighter. I just use it as a Honestly, that would be cool. I mean now that we're talking about it. I was watching that's the one thing my generation Do we have very few things in our generation where we can look back at the other generation behind us? And say like you guys are a bunch of pussies But the one thing we did do the actual lighters when you were at a concert you had to burn your thumb You want to see the other best? I still do that though. I don't that's gonna get you that's gonna get you heat though

Why people are gonna yell at you because you're not supposed to bring the real lighter anymore That's why they take them at the front door when you go to them Well, you're not supposed to do that technically a concert. That's all I do. Yeah, I smoke joints at the concert That's what you do. It's just a concert. That's why they take the lighters when you walk in They know they're ever taking a lighter for me once have you put it in the white tray because you gotta go like you gotta No, I keep it in my pocket. What am I fucking I'm squealing on myself. Why don't I just show them all my drugs? They do ask you to come in and but they ask you but they do ask you to empty your pockets And then you so you're just immediately when you're going to your Elton John concert

You think that Elton would would like all those people with fire hazards right in their pockets a huge fucking joy in the Elton John concert inside No one stopped us. I mean, I got some dirty looks, but what you do is the fucking concert. This is Elton John Rockman I had to sit when I went to the Elton John concert in Nashville, Tennessee a beautiful place I love Nashville with all my heart and soul I had to sit in the Americans with disability row because the seats that they made We're too tiny. Yep, and you suffer from the disability of an addiction to hardies. No, I actually don't like hardies I am just tall even if I lost 50 pounds. I still couldn't have fit in the chair Henry. Yeah, it's hard I do know I've seen you be I truly this is not a bit. I've seen how uncomfortable just normal seats make you which is

Unfortunate they don't make me the seat is uncomfortable. They don't make I'm not your seat your kiss a blaming the seat is doing it I didn't I the seats uncomfortable. This is the one place where you are correct Well, I'm happy. I mean obviously I'm correct in so many more places But I'll take this this one. This is a good battle for you two to have and I'm glad you know Then oh, so you want me to be you want me to be on the front line of the get seats bigger coalition Then I sound just like Jessica McMahon is talking about the clip trolls It's a bit there goes that seats are too small and that's why me as a head of the milkshake coalition It's gonna make sure we got seats that can occupy an entire family's worth of person

Even if you are just one person So you're just calling for benches on the plane instead of seats that's honestly that would be really cool And it get fosters relationships. Well, and that's what they do there at Lambo field in beautiful Green Bay, Wisconsin They know why have armed breasts? Well, when everyone is drunk then they all kind of like can lean on each other and you can't move them So that's perfect. I got really into reading all these documents about the CIA's the gateway experience program Okay, there's some shit that I love these new like and now we're getting all of these things are kind of come out every 20 or so years that were that are becoming declassified

That we everyone so like what they recently had all of that this the shit come out basically saying that the CIA had made Patents and the Pentagon had made patents on quote-unquote UFO technology that we're not supposed to have yet But basically it's them just guessing they take theoretical science and then guess How it could be applied and then they make patents for the technology that doesn't exist yet Just so that they will have the patent for when it does so basically they want to do a Reverse of what we did to the Native Americans that when the when the aliens do land we'll just be like you can't take that spacecraft with you I'm gonna have to it's actually we're gonna have to see you for copyright infringement because you are in fact a gray And I drew a picture of you

You can imagine me to Native American and then the the whites come over and they're like this is gonna be our land You just had to deal and just that concept is so foreign No, you just decided to create ownership like God's last paper means that I have maps Not the territory and that's important remember no land belongs to anybody technically when it comes down to it You know who it belongs to is the raccoons. They're taking it back. Absolutely and congratulations to our friend Travis Irvine for killer raccoons, too It's doing really really well, and it's a super corny super campy really fun. It's a very traditional trauma movie But I've been watching reading all the stuff about the gateway experience, which is essentially the CIA was working on this plan this concept of the way our brains and

Consciousness work with reality, okay, and they start the basically this idea that if you Can sync up what they called hemi sync? This is the long story short, and I barely understand it if you could make your left and right brain work On the same level what they said it's basically imagine your brain is like a lamp But if we can concentrate its abilities, we could take all that diffuse light and make it a laser We can focus your concentration and essentially imagine that reality is just sort of a

Hologram that we're all floating through and what they basically said is that using these techniques they can pop out your localized Consciousness and it can go anywhere like essentially the idea is to how do you create a pragmatic? Way of making you psychic and what they use is technology. It's like sound waves get pumped into your brain to adjust you This is something we've talked about before right? This is just astral projection Yes, and something the CIA has been they've been trying to figure this shit out for a minute a long time and there's been because it's every government Has one of these programs. We found out the Russians were taking it very seriously

Because all the generals are so lazy. They're like what if I could just do all of this shit for my office You don't think I wouldn't use this shit to never work outside of my home again I would I would be going everywhere If you can astral project right next to me at all times I would actually kind of like it is it tangible at all can I like punch it and like can I we could swing at it I can swing at it, but I couldn't actually I Can pass through I imagine I would pass through it. You would like you would pass through me And it would just me going like can't get me cancel can't get me cancel. I see you take a shit

I can't get me cancel. Oh, you can eat that whole pizza All day long no, I wouldn't be using it for you I would be um I'd be in the Pentagon. I would be deep inside the halls of the Pentagon Okay, but I'm just this is one of those things where y'all go and research this this is highly fascinating I got it like sent to me. There's several breakdowns and the Material the stuff that was used by the US government It was helping I believe it was coordinated with a thing called the Monroe Institute Which I've only done very little like very little bit research into this

But for like $1,200 You can take the same course and training program that the CIA was using Wait, what they're offering it like it's like it's a disney trip now They wait to hire consciousness eight week online course to explore beyond the physical realm This is on their website Monroe Institute. Hold on a second. Henry. It's an online course for $1,200. Yes I don't I I'm getting four letters in my head. It's sc am It sounds to me like we have ourselves a bit of a scam No, I'm not gonna listen kissle. This is no way in shape or form a scam

I'm gonna take this course and then for only the price of half that for $600 per session I'm gonna teach you how to do it. That's right. That's podcast lesson. I'm gonna teach you. No, not you kissle This is not for you any people who will pay me money But I will then teach the course In a fun different way for only $600 Wow, so you want to make a pyramid scheme out of it. Well, I mean it might get you killed by jody arias Look at these fucking all of these stories. This is kind of crazy wave one discovery These are the classes introduces the mind awake body asleep state. Oh, you know who likes that bill cosby

I know this guy sounds this I'm not I don't because I'm not gonna malign I don't know we don't know this person But if I'm going to say like on the on on the spectrum of sexual predators, you're not sexual predator He is he's getting towards the red. Well, we don't know yet We don't know yet But it does it is about you being asleep You gotta be asleep for a lot of this how much can you learn online when it also can't you just search it online the idea of Ray Romano is teaching like one of those masterclass things where it's like how do I live across the street from your parents like

People are making so much money Teaching random ass courses from their homes their mansions. I hate that Shit so much. It is like ridiculous No, no, I believe how many people are going to college this year are gonna have to do it from home. They better they better get 95% off of their tuition because you only learned 5% in the classroom at college and 95% you learn in the social experiment that is college I'm telling you started on this. It's gonna be completely frank. I think I only learned about 3% What I was in college because that was because I just You know, it's fucked up. You have to be then that's the 97%

All right. Well, that's very interesting and uh, so don't check out that course, but check it out But I mean look at I wouldn't give him money I wouldn't give him money until you I mean I'm trying to think who I would believe that it worked on like because the problem is that the people that would try it And then say that it worked for them or also like it then inherently makes you unreliable like Yes, look Henry Zabrowski is an unreliable narrator just to begin with because of my own tenuous hold On my own personal reality. Sure. So you can't necessarily trust me if the program works for me You can't you can't trust because I was trying to think uh, fuck in. What's his name the guy with the glasses? Um, uh, life

Who finds a way? I'm Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum I the thing with Jeff Goldblum is I trust that everything he says is extremely charming and compelling and I love him But now I don't necessarily trust the product that he's saying those things about True. I think that he believes because he's a good actor. I believe in the words that he says So charming one of the most charming men in the world being in the same room with him You just you're everything gets churned up, right? He's an incredibly incredibly charming human being but Again, I'm not having him do my taxes Yeah

You know what I mean? I'm not gonna have him. I probably wouldn't ask Jeff Goldblum to To babysit only just because I'm not saying he'd be able to do anything Untoward to a child, but I could definitely be like I heard a sound that seemed Something like a clarinet outside and I had to investigate next thing, you know four hours later I've been following a bird You left my child alone for many hours But then Jeff Goldblum is so good that you would still Be like can we uh, can we stalling at them because even in the movie to fly when he was fully transformed into a monster

You know, he could still get laid. That's just go blue. That's the power of the bloom because sometimes and I think this is the truth when it comes to when It's the You could have sex with an ugly person if they used to be attractive by looking at the old picture of them Or if they're very very very elderly, you could still make love to a very very I'm talking in the 90s If you got a picture of them when they're young, right? Like you had pictures of them really young I'm saying all this is consensual, but if you got a picture of them really young put it next to it You can kind of do your own deep fake imagery

Well, you know what whatever it takes for you to love your spouse. I love that Well, let's do I mean Natalie's gonna be tight forever I'm not I'm talking to the audience Henry and yes Natalie. You know what? Yeah, absolutely Maybe just do what you should do is take a picture of her aged Put that next to her when you have sex and then you can tell her see I won't even mind. Well, yeah, I'm a milkman myself. So I understand. I already am waiting for it Well, you'll have to change to a gulf guy. Oh, yeah, let's do hero of the week I

This hero of the week, I mean, you know, I mean, I don't know how many times I have to make dogs Hero of the week, but I will you do it most of the time. It's most of the time Well, that's because they're heroes. So there's a chihuahua mix and if you know chihuahua mixes This is what I've been saying Chihuahuas are like the salt when it comes to a making a perfect dog recipe It's always gonna have a little chihuahua. He gives them a little head. It gives them like cute little feet It gives them a little spice. It gives them a little personality. It makes them the greatest dog Guard dogs. You mix a chihuahua with anyone as a matter of fact, jerry is a chihuahua dash out

Wendy is a chihuahua poodle Chihuahua poodle and our other friend has a chihuahua. Oh, I forget what uh, I forget what momo's mixed with But all of a sudden we're surrounded by chihuahua mixes Um, and they all get together and they're so rowdy and they're so cute Wendy has a hard time playing with the boys because the boys are a little bit too rough for Wendy Wendy is kind of more of a pillow princess. Wendy is a real jessi Wendy is a jessica mcmanus. She will be complaining about natural doll. How dare you? She's a little bit I'm just happy. She doesn't have yelp

I wonder if if chihuahua's they say that there might be some weird collective unconscious thing about chihuahuas I got this a good a good email from a listener talking about how chihuahuas used to be raised to be killed Yes, they were raised to be killed and eaten and and sacrifice. We talked about last week. Yeah. Oh, did we? Yes, I read the email. Do you wonder we are recording? This is a show What? Oh, no, what have I said? Oh god Anyway, an eastern north carolina man Uh, he had I believe it was a stroke and he's like, I can't get help. I don't have my phone

So he looked at his chihuahua mix boo boo and boo boo was like don't even stress it, bro So navy veteran rudy armstrong. He suffered a stroke. He looked at boo boo And then boo boo went to get him help So when armstrong couldn't get to his phone to call help He looked to his friend in the eyes and said I need help go get kim and then boo boo was like I'll go get kim and then he went to get kim and then kim called 911 And then now he's in a hospital and he's not gonna die And this is what the hospital staff staff said they said we thank him for his service to our country

This is about the man. We thank him for his service to our country and for allowing us the privilege of caring for him And for for sharing his story of boo boo the miracle pup Oh, that's so cute So boo boo You're this week's hero of the week and i'm gonna extend that to all chihuahua mixes out there Bless despite the fact they run away all the time and uh, yes, they can cause heart attacks as much as they save people from strokes It's both Yeah, it's it's a tumor that's called uh taking care of something

That's true And now you've got some listener letters. First of all, I want to say thank you for all of the great responses We got on the jody arias series that we're starting. Let me start last we go one. We're doing one last one next week um But I got some great so number one correction that I will say is that they're all saying straight up anal sex is never allowed by The Mormon world since it's not you can't no one would ever believe

Anybody saying that anal sex is correct. So travis was actually quite wrong When he was having anal sex with jody arias, which is fine, but I will say that I know that it's wrong against mormon tenants, but he managed to Say to himself and to his penis and to her butthole. Well, if it's wrong, I don't want to be right No, it was a he was a dirty boy looking Looking for a good clean fun So they didn't do the catholic carve out because the catholics over time. I think just sort of carved out anal sex I never know if that was ever official, but it was a thing that I had heard

That kids just say it's a great reality It's definitely been a working theory for all of my catholic experience. They've been practicing for a long time Yeah, um, but then what they say here is that one one interesting thing is that they said that the what they said the grinding The provo push is that it's often commonly also known as durfing In the mormon community. Um, the provo float or the provo soak, which is true Is that you put the penis in the vagina, but there's no thrusting This is because for some reason some people only consider it consider it a sin if there's ejaculation or any form of movement So yeah, I've heard the soaking thing. It makes me it's

First of all, it's not happening. No way can any you know, you just don't it's not you put it one in But the thing is that you already made one thrust because you stuck it in the vagina You would have to unless unless she did the sit and then I don't know I can't get into it Okay These are all just people who just need to accept the fact that you're a human being and just do things safely and you can have sex I mean you could just um Not be a mormon. Yeah more than that Or you could just get out of there, but you know some people like it some people do

Um, all right, so this is a story that I just want to read just because it was it just is just a fun experience from jerse So I wanted to read this story. Okay What's up guys? I love your show. Thanks for their ear candy. All right. Thank you. Thank you, bro Um, I have an encounter at a jersey. Wow. You have the infamous wow at any given jersey. Wow You might encounter man with radical green hair You might see Bruce Springsteen himself ordering a sweet sweet hoagie if you never know but what I say is that could have been a creature This had a look outside the safety of the dark cold pine barons Or maybe it was just creeping out of meth then you never know in the pines

But either way I think as we're sharing So I seen a dude at a wowo one night at the pine barons in New Jersey when I was about 11 30 And wow was her open 24 hours day It's when you walk in and say I walk in I know it's like three employees buying the deli huddled up and they're talking about something Right and I go to order my hoagie and he'll one of them say I've never seen that one and nothing And another say he's not like the other ones now I assume they're talking about like a local drunk. I made one of the recluse drug addicts So again, I'm sure that they've seen some shit down here in the pines

Especially a wow on the middle of the night quiet It's quite the place for out of this world encounters if you know what I mean Absolutely If you don't know a wow is think of a 7-eleven with a good but not great but good deli. Yeah That's true. It is but I love a while. I love a while. Yeah, you order your food on the touch screen now But you used to have to ask for your hoagie and they'd write it down. I can't even imagine them doing that now You couldn't even believe how many customers they get a day, but at this particular store We're a little off the beaten path. So curious. I asked if they're okay and they say yeah

Did you see that guy out there? No, well, be careful when you go out back there because we don't know what's wrong with them He seems angry. He came in he got 24 ounce of hot water from the machine and left What the fuck I think I mean, it's weird, but you know, who knows you might have his own blend of chamomile Methi he's going to sleep, but who knows right? Now I see a lot of shit work at construction nights in philly slash north jerse new york And I've seen some characters that I've wanted if they're even human right now This wow not dealing with the heavy traffic of the unique characters all night like the stores higher north than jerse or philly They're probably a little more sensitive to the occasional

Mentally distraught that wanders in right so I tell them if he's still hanging around the parking lot Or anything when one of you gets off your shift don't walk out in the parking lot alone Bring somebody with you or call the police if you have to but maybe maybe they can scare him away They reply I know but he didn't do anything to us. He just sort of just looked off as all I don't really we don't really recognize him So I was like it's okay and water is free whether it be hot or cold It's free from the tap. I'm pretty sure now I get my italian hoagie lettuce onion jalapeno toasted a mel of provolone cheese oil vinaigrette and pepper

Right. Oh my god. That is a new jersey humble brag. I am all this is I this is my order I also do this order But I also like to spinach on there if I can if they have that's the subway or the of the Publix that's where I go for oh, okay interesting with the spinach interested No, these ladies whip it up before I can we make my coffee and I pay for my order, right? But as I'm walking up to the count I see they see this man Standing out front near the trash cans. Yep the signature spot for every old man bum a biker That's a no hurry to go. Anyway, all they want to do is enjoy the new jersey delicacies cigarette coffee

Laugh out loud. He does put a laugh out loud there. We got a low Now he's doing these super quick head turns like you see something fine past it Maybe I don't know he looks tweaked out thinking great A poor junkie is wired and looking to get some change or a ride somewhere Now I feel bad seeing people like that. It's truly sad a random drifter It isn't common this deep south in jerse Nothing is really within walking a bike riding distance, right? There isn't enough people to have any real success in panhandling Also, the police in this town of state troopers. You never know when they might breeze through and they're sneaky

So I get an idea. He's gonna ask me for some money or a ride or something But when I go out I got a five dollar bill ready, right? And I plan on telling them You know, you better get out of here I seen a couple of state boys about half an hour ago It's patrolling around you don't need to be here when he stops in for his donut dinner Only because I don't like the idea of him making the employees and he's so I'll try my best to get him gone You know, I love this guy. Yeah, I love this guy. Well, I pay grab my sandwich I put in my bag order the open shoulder the door open careful and not spill my sweet sweet coffee

I take a little glance in him as the cold air smacks me right in the face He's close. They had to be from the 90s, right? I hadn't seen a pair of plastic I haven't seen a pair of classic blue wranglers like this in a long time, right? Also a long almost trench coat that was worn but look oddly nice Maybe leather but not typical leather like it was weird looking, but it was like it was like pretty damn nice the same time Now I still wanted to this day Did that man make that coat himself? I don't know why I think this but it just didn't look like it would have ever been for sale

You know like in any store like I've been to it because it looked custom, you know This this is honestly the reason I go to every single dive bar that I possibly can because I love this conversation I wish this makes me feel like I'm listening to the podcast where I'm just like, can I be your friend, sir? I like I like the story He doesn't even glance at me very odd He must be really fucked up and didn't notice me or he was planning something else And he didn't want me to get a good look at his face, right? Which I didn't get a good look but suddenly he fucking twist his head around in the oddest way I've ever seen

I couldn't even mimic it if I tried. I'm not sure any human could it's like he looked straight through me As if he was following something else and I didn't even exist This was at the last second. I was already off the curb. I definitely didn't want him to turn around I didn't want to get his attention. I'm gonna admit he made me nervous All right now this he might seem a little dangerous. I think all right He doesn't ask for money and I don't want to offer it to him So I just go sit in my van and I'm watching this fellow for a few minutes, right? I look to open my hoagie I'm from the corner of my eye

I see him do this rapid movement like maybe he was like with his arm like he reached up Now I'm watching him again He's chewing maniacally like a cat or a dog choosing something that's large But like how do you but like how you chew hot food sometimes? You know with his head back like Like the food might try to cool it down Yeah, it seems like it was like if something like food might fly out of his mouth or it's something like he was Snapping his head back and forth like he was watching something that was moving to flying very fast a moth or a beetle Wait, no fucking way

This man just caught a bug And ate it no fucking way. I have to see this for myself, right? He finished his chew And I start snapping his head back and forth like something's caught his eye again, right? So maybe maybe sleep deprivation Maybe I was tired, but I'm not any more tired than I usually am But suddenly when I when I watch this fucking when I watch this fucking thing do blows my mind And I know for a fact I see him do this part He catches a bug and not with his hands

He jumped up and caught it with his fucking mouth That thing made my fucking blood turn cold and the reason I mentioned maybe being tired and not seeing hints Right wasn't the fact that I just watched him catch a bug with his mouth. Like I said how I saw that, right? I saw this I seen this thing. I see his neck Extend like a step in turtle. I mean like his neck extended an extra foot or more out It was terrifying I froze a couple seconds before I could fire my van up and leave now. He almost forgot about me because as my van roared the life Yep, you guessed it. He snapped his neck at me with these black eyes

And I can't describe them but like without saying an absolute predator Selfishly I needed to get out of that parking lot forgetting about trying to get him to leave forgetting about everything I felt an urgency to leave I knew he would walk straight over to my window if he had a chance So keeping my eyes on him as I could as I could he's I pull out even to the wrong exit Just because I want to stay as far away from his it is humanly possible Now I could have sworn on everything I watched it open its mouth a little bit because he was actually slowly chewing this bug up since I must have interrupted his dinner

Bugs and steven hot water Its mouth slightly open I see a set of teeth like the teeth you see in a discovery channel those tribes you sharpen the teeth like they have the pointy his teeth exactly It's like the Jeepers creepers guy. Yeah Yeah, this is fucking scary dude. He had to call 911 Wow, all right. Well never interrupt a man on his hot water and bug dinner You don't know wait until they're done eating and that advice goes for most animals wait until they're done eating Then they can be very friendly also my main tip when you're dealing with someone that you are certain

Is dangerously insane and you are stuck like Walking on the same like side of street or two thing always agree And laugh always go. Haha. You got it, buddy Haha, I'm with you buddy. We only say it. We learned that from Wayne's world. Thank you All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Hope you're doing okay out there Um, we'll be on tour this next week. We're gonna be we're gonna be in Las Vegas You shut your mouth at the elan musking grimes casino. They're in the it's the musk crime casino

Do this. I don't want to be amazing. No, we will be at some point next year I can't wait to see you all and of course don't forget about it You can see our fat little faces on the stream and all that stuff All that shit take out take a look at the stream adult swim.com Tuesdays apmi standard time Um, we're about to do it now. Um, but I live your life every day. Look, you just got the hoagie exactly what you wanted Like or you got your sub. I love it when I get it right the way I want it my public sub I got my nine grade Italian bread spinach lettuce red onion jalapenos. I like yellow yellow peppers on there I get the um

My favorite is the boar's head american or boar's head italian. You are just you you in this boar's head You're just a city boy. That's what that's all you don't understand What what boar's head had a fight for to get what they got they just destroyed a lot of other meat meat businesses They absorbed them and we're not gonna do this right now. We don't have another hour But I like a little bit of spicy mustard a little bit of mayo like oil and vinegar salt and pepper Thinking about right now live like you got that in your hands. Did you mention red onions? I love a red onion. Oh, yeah, I like raw onions. Some people don't okay. I don't know what to tell those people and you gotta love Live love that you got this sandwich in your hand now you love it

Take that first bite sometimes when the bread's crispy and kind of cut your mouth But this time it didn't Um And then you just got to laugh knowing that you got your fucking nice sub you got a wet ass pussy You've got a good attitude. You hopefully got a hard penis Whatever your gender is you got a hard penis wet pussy and you are fucking just slapping it either way Laughing your way to the bank making yourself come on the privacy your own home because we can't go anywhere Absolutely. Well, have a great time everyone enjoying a good sub this week a good sub will always hit the spot

No denying that think about it all the time. I think about it all the time as well. All right, everyone and hail yourselves Hail station magustalations I'm serious about that sub get a good sub. There's nothing better than a good sandwich That's the only thing la doesn't really have is good sandwiches. Yep. That was uh, I think that's always good But art still is very expensive. Oh, that's the one problem. That's why I think uh, Was the guy warren zevon is is one of his final words or enjoy enjoy every sandwich He was an la guy. So, you know when he found a good sandwich it meant a lot to him. Yeah. Well, actually learned something today. Yeah This show is made possible by listeners like you

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