Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Mystery Moans

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's weirdest and most macabre news stories including the mysterious moaning being reported by multiple airline passengers, a Missouri woman narrowly escapes captivity from killer rapist, The Stockton Serial Killer, Showgirls attacked / killed by crazed man in Vegas, cheating at chess with a butt-plug, the "Doggy-Suicide" hot spot in Scotland, Hero of the Week, Listener Stories, tales from the road, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stores. Yes. All right, now we're recording. I can see. I got to hear about it. You wait. Hey, man. 35 minutes and you all are about to see the best here of the week ever. Whoa, that's got very specific amount of time. They don't know. They don't fucking know the inside works of this mysterious process called podcasting. Oh, yeah. No one knows how to podcast anymore. We're currently in Edinburgh. Edinburgh. We are in a triangle shaped room. That's right. I always

like to start off by describing the room Henry. Perfect podcast. But I'm just saying I've now been in two Europe has got a thing with triangle shaped rooms. It's the Illuminati. I have been. It's the Alastair Crowley effect, but technically that in that's London. London is the Illuminati. I'm learning. We're going to fucking. I can't wait to blow all of your fucking minds with the fact I now know the difference between Netherlands and Holland. Just save it for when we go through customs and you just be like, I'm here to blow people's minds because it's been nothing but fun. Perfect. There's something about triangle shaped rooms and I whacked my head on a French ceiling. I know. And I'm so my sympathy to you is exactly negative 10. You fucking asshole. I am so happy

when you said this. I bumped my head. It hurts. You were sound like holding me nearly. I sure. And I said, welcome to it, my friend. Hey, do you know what man now? I it's nice to feel like I'm filling a room. But no, honestly, you know, you're in Hobbit Town when you bump your head because that's the way it is. Very small. Back in the day, you buy Hobbit Standard is actually more of a brute. You're what they call the Harry fellow there with the big beard. People always call me him. Gimli. You're not Gimli. Absolutely. No, not Gimli. The dude from Harry Potter. By the way, J.K. Rowling just made it. She literally just copied and pasted Edinburgh. We've already talked about it before. She's not creative. Anyway, it's true. Yeah, she just makes it up. She just

looked at our window. Dumbledore. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, you're the Dumbledore of Europe. Oh, yeah, I'm a big gay wizard. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. Hope you're doing well out there. Thank you to all who came out to our show in Amsterdam. Amsterdam could not have been more perfect and more impressive. Obviously, Edinburgh is also beautiful and wonderful. We've been here before and it continues to amaze. But Amsterdam, what a I guess it's not a pleasant surprise because we've been hearing about it our whole life. But I was impressed. Awesome. It was awesome. The weed is great. I mean, obviously, the weed is fantastic, but it was really just that it's bikes everywhere. So many bikes. It's crazy. It was very handsome. Very handsome. Very attractive. I have to say this,

though, about there because I went out, you know, I do my bar pubs. I do my pub crawls. That's how I experience cities. Yeah, we got we got a lifetime here. So we're doing more classy. The more classy. I went to a bar called The Old Sailor. And the one thing that I learned about Amsterdam bars slash pubs, the bathrooms are horrible. What do you mean? Worse than if you go to an outhouse in Tennessee that has never been used before or hasn't been used in 30 years. Is it just a hole? It's a hole. That's for the pisser, right? Sure. That's for the year now. And for the toilet, if they do have one, it's a prison toilet. It's just steel. There's no chair. There's no lift. It literally says, I dare you, you better have liquid rumbly, tumbly diarrhea.

That's the only reason you would ever use these urinals or this toilet. And I found that to be quite fascinating. Exactly. Supposed to save it for the canals. But I will say we did take a little canal like tour on a boat. And the dude was like, just so you know, it is not true. No one puts their human waste into the canals. I saw the canal. I know that they do. I know that they do even accidentally. Well, this is the great thing about Amsterdam as well. They acclimated themselves to public urination. Sure. So there's just like in the side of a canal in the middle of the street, there's just a random urinal. Yeah. Did you see that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then a guy was just pissing at him. He made eye contact with him and it's a random stranger. Because they learned.

They learned. They get it. You keep it off the building. That's how would you do. It's one of those things where I don't understand America. We're full of piss. Full of piss. I mean, in New York, it's legal. I mean, they don't even want you to use the bathroom. But why don't you just find it? How hard could it possibly be to put in urinals so you could randomly piss wherever you want in America? Well, I just don't think America really has the I feel like for the people that are going to urinate on the street, the the idea of urinating in a toilet on the street is offensive. Because yeah, because it's not like, you know, that's not just my penis goes anywhere. No, it's not free anymore. It's not freedom. But anyway, Amsterdam was great. If you have a chance,

get out there, experience the whole city. There's many different districts, the red light district, I want to applaud them for elderly lady acceptance, you know, because they it was beautiful. If everything is wonderful, it's on the up and up. It's so great. But my God, some of the gals when you're walking by and they're like, yeah, whoa. Yeah, it's true. You acknowledge you say, hello, thank you. That's so sweet of you. Thank you. But thank you. I will say in Paris, I did see. That's right. You had an experience in Paris. Yes. But Natalie can attest to this. This is not me making this up. We saw 14 year old smoking cigarettes and drinking a full bottle of white wine, which I've never seen before. Like it's just too adult. Like they are very much they're

talking the business of the day. Each one had a newspaper, I'm certain. I think they were talking about like Macron or something. Oh, I know what he did. Some kind of bizarre leader there. He's trying to create another European Union. I don't know. I've been learning quite a bit about foreign policy over here. We're really not going to get into it. Apparently, they're very anti Russia, which is nice. Russia is losing the war and the Ukraine just blew up a big bridge in Crimea. I saw that. I was like, good. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know anything about European like exo politics. It is great seeing like really beautiful women actively love war, because they're just like, I was because he was Putin's birthday. He was he turned 70 years.

I know. I saw that. And there was this really beautiful woman on the news being like, I thought we were going to give him a birthday present on his birthday. It's one day late, but I'll take it. And she was like thrilled. And I was like, welcome to Europe. But anyway, let's go on to some news stories. We do. Oh, hey, there's one I do want to talk about that for God to tell you about. Have you heard about the moans? We're talking about the red light district. No, no, no, I haven't heard about the moans. There's moans. There's been this problem where in American Airlines, this is back where there's my God, I don't want to hear about no, I know we've taken a lot of planes recently. But that's the idea, right? Is that apparently

I remember what we covered that story a little while ago that had somebody who mass air dropped pictures of his penis. Yeah, the entire plane. People were not happy. No, because also it was very obvious who did it. Yes, because they had to do a dick inspection. Yeah, I've been a hot man. Those flight attendants loved it. What a day. I got I will just open the sidebar when we were coming in to they they had to do do secondary security to me. Yeah. I swear to God, I know that was the most European. I got hard almost. You did. They grabbed all coming out of Amsterdam. Yeah, I was at the same. I got I got pulled over for a small padtown as well. I didn't they went up. They went deep. It was the much deeper than I ever experienced padded me down.

He was a young man and he just was. But he did this thing where he slid the hand up because normally they slide the hand. But I'm used to an American TSA approach where they don't really care. They're not really feeling right. It's like that pad down video of the man, the old dude who just kind of like looks over an inch hover. They do, you know, obviously sometimes it's wrong, but they like they spot check you. They look at you and they they grab at your jacket or ever. But this dude, I swear to God, fully cupped my dick involves like he stuck his hands up into my paint. And I was like, man, if I had a gun in there, you should just let me keep it. Right. Because you smuggled it so well with your little berries. Well, that's fantastic.

Good for you. I think I had the same guy grab at me. And of course, they go through because I wear my sweats because I'm in my ABC always be cozy face. Sure. And yeah, I understand why you may have become aroused, although I really think that it would have been better if you didn't. I, you know, I feel like it's because I have a lot of questions, don't you? Also, did you just did you just have a TSA affair in front of her? Am I a cheetah? She's just half of your money, just exited your bank account. And Natalie is on a plane back to America. I will say, I think his soft European hands because it was just wild. I just never had one. So invest. But all right, because here's some moans, right? So people have been dealing with this,

these mystery moans on American airline flights. And it sounds like this. So I'm going to play this for us in the room and then we'll add it later on. Okay. Oh my God. Where is it coming from? The speakers. It's coming from the speakers with the captain is blowing the other captain. There is something happening. There's been several people experiencing these phantom moans most in July is on the plane with the ability to go to the speaker. This is holding McNeely Airlines. Again, check it out. That's exactly how he sounds. It might be went around table. How do you feel comfortable on a flight after hearing that? Also, do you want your captain getting blown or ejaculating in the cockpit? I suppose it is just an aptly named term at that

point. Or do you not? I guess I'm 50-50 on it because a relaxed pilot is a better pilot. Yes, let a pilot come. Like, why are we not? Because they don't do shit for the majority. They take off with just key and the land would just key. But when they're up there, they don't do anything. We're about to get in trouble again because we've got these messages from pilots. We know that they're very busy, but I'm still saying let them come. This was first of all, there's a timeline to this. July, American Airlines, JFK to LAX. A man named Bradley writes, my wife and I experience this during an American airline flight in July. To be clear, it was sounds like moans and groans. It was someone extreme pain or pleasure. The crew said it did not happen before. That's not

pain. I have a feeling that Bradley ejaculates to pain. So he has these two things conflated when his balls are in a vice. But here's more. September 6th, American Airlines, Santa Ana, the Dallas sport war. Emerson writes, these sounds, they started over the intercom before takeoff and continued throughout the flight. They couldn't stop it. And after the landing, they still had no idea what it was. I filmed about 15 minutes then again during the service. It was calmer mid-flight. Did they, um, did they ask any of the flight attendants what was going on? They're all saying they checked it. Now there's an official response from the American Airlines, but they're saying is our maintenance team thoroughly inspected the aircraft to the PA system

and determined the sounds were caused by a mechanical issue with the PA amplified. Can we play it again? Okay. Mechanical issue. No, that is not. No. Maybe you play it as a transformer and it really loves having its oil checked. No, no, that is not a mechanical issue. We've embedded many mechanical devices, machines before they don't sound like a, like a frog in the midst of coitus. No. And then there was a guy named Andrew Tierney who's, uh, who did, uh, I guess he's on Twitter at cyber gibbets. He did a whole breakdown because he is a reverse engineer, hardware hacker security expert and analyst. Yes. But he basically, he says that there's a no fucking way because they are hardwired closed systems. He's like, there is, they're difficult

to hack. Like you can't hack them. This is coming from inside the house. It totally is. This is crazy. Was there any flight attendant smiling like too much where you're like, why are you so joyous to be at work today, Larry? We did, with the pilotage to come and say this too. So there's another one, September 18th, American Airlines. Again, Santa Anna to Fort Worth, right? Currently on American Airlines, those 1631, someone keeps hacking to the PA making moaning and screaming noises, but the flight attendants are saying straight up, they are standing by their phones cause it's not them. And captain just came on and told us they don't think that the flight systems have been compromised. So we will finish the flight DFW.

Is this, is this like the first time we're actually hearing what happens in an alien spacecraft? Is this crossing of streams? Is that the sounds of somebody actually getting milked? Is that the sounds of a Barney Hill having his seed plucked from his dog? If so, it doesn't sound that bad. You took my father and now you're taking me. Barney to Hill. Of course, the daughter of Barney Hill that does not exist. It just made that up. Really good. That's great. So just when I felt like flying was getting worse, now I know it's even worse than I thought. But I don't mind Phantom groans. As long as we take off. Yeah. But I have to say like a flight where I didn't have the plane orgasm, I would be happier with for some reason. If it was a woman, be like going, going, going,

or like a piggy, I guess. Well, yeah, that would be fine. I actually feel like it's the masculine, it's the masculine sound of a jack-o-let that I don't love. Maybe that's just because maybe that's on us. It is on us. Maybe we're prudes and we should have learned something from Amsterdam because maybe it's important to, or because yeah, do I never like the end of the porn honestly? Because maybe it's just because I'm just not into when the man makes noises. I don't like when the guy goes, yeah, Shelly is going to get it. Like I don't like it. Yes, indeed, Shelly, my stepmother, you're thoroughly enjoying this. I also have to say when it comes to pornography, of course, we dabble in the hotel rooms. You have your wife with you, so probably

you're more satisfied than I am in that way. She's leaving soon. They do talk, the British men, and the, the, the European men talk more. Yeah, they go like, oh, yeah, that's okay, you want a cup of, you want a cup of that? Yeah, I'll give you, I'll give you, but I'll give you a portion. I'm not sure. Yeah, it will all be in a portion. I'll see you, red curlers, they'll give you staking. Not sure why they thought that was a good idea. I don't know, but again, I would feel if it was female orgasms, if it was someone, yeah, but I feel like that too would also make me like, it's like my body's going into fight or flight, but for a horny and I don't know what to do because my fight or flight for a horny

means like I'm about to fuck right after runaway. And I don't want, and I'm very scared. I don't want to, that's how I felt with the TSA, the European TSA because I had to fly away because I was horny. Yeah. Well, all right, American Airlines, let us know who's coming on your flights. Why does your entire PA system sound like someone's ejaculating? And I guess maybe that is one of the things that they're testing out. Maybe it's a test market where they're like, how do we make people more relaxed on takeoff and landing? Let's have the sound of a relaxing moment, which is of course the moment of come. Unless you're all choked up with a belt or anything, then it's not relaxing at all. Well, it's relaxing too. That's why they like it.

Is it? Yeah, that's the whole point. The whole point is that it's exciting, it's dangerous. Well, it's exciting, but also it's relaxing. That's why they like those things. After years of fine print and getting ripped off by big wireless, what am I, some kind of marionette? If we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. But Mint Mobile offers premium wireless service starting off at just 15 bucks a month with no catch. Mint Mobile's thing is that they're the first company to sell wireless service online only by cutting out the retail stores. There's no crazy overhead costs to get passed down to you in the form of mystery fees. And isn't Ryan Reynolds handsome? Mint Mobile's great because again, I was just in the catacombs

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All right. Well, horrible segue to this story that I actually want to thank somebody who tagged us. I'm blanking on their names. I apologize, but she tagged us on TikTok, which I don't have, but she DMed us. Yeah. This is breaking news. It's from Excelsior Springs. Oh, this story is very fucked up. It's really nasty. So obviously, again, that's why I said it's a horrible segue. Timothy Haslett Jr. has been arrested. This is this past Friday on first-degree rape, first-degree kidnapping and second-degree assault in Clay County that was in the Clay County Circuit Court. So apparently this woman had a true nightmare experience that we only want to see on film written down where the actors are safe. It's midday. The man, I believe,

he was in line trying to get one of his children or something like that, and she escapes. She's fully tied up and she escapes. She runs to the middle of the road and she starts screaming and neighbors are like, what's going on? The neighbors take her in. The woman said that she's alive, but her friends didn't make it. So we don't know how many people are in this man's house, but there is our cadaver dog searching now. Yeah. It is a full aerial capture scenario. It's not good. The details are going to come out over the next couple of weeks, I imagine, but the guy is tremendously scary looking. Oh, dude, real scary. He's exactly who you think has several bound human corpses inside of his home. And sometimes, like, not to be anything, but is it nice when you're

right? I know that, like, it's very hard to judge a book by its cover. Like me, they see, they assume, you look at me, you assume. Yeah. The international playboy. This guy is, he fucks. He must know how to choose a cologne. This guy, what a, what a, he must be some kind of amateur sommelier, but also wants to, he wants to dick my wife and my husband. Like, like, army hammer. Yeah, yeah. But that to me, but then when you get to know me, you know, I'm sensitive. And I'm actually, you're saying that you look like army hammer. You're saying, if you look at me, like, yeah, people get that vibe. But so, yeah, it's hard to judge a book by its cover. But when you look at this guy, it's nice to know you're right. Yeah, you are. Yeah,

you're definitely a serial rapist. He either has a bunch of bodies in his home right now, struggling to, to escape, or he's an open mic comedian. So according to Excelsior, Springs Police Lieutenant Ryan Dowdy, which I must say didn't have that on his 2022 bingo card, because nothing happens in this town. No, this town is super small town USA. Excelsior. He says, we made contact with her. It was readily apparent that she had been held against her will for a significant period of time. She was malnourished. And obviously again, in just an insane amount of trauma, this was at the 300 block of old Orchard Street. Jeez. So you never know what your neighbors are up to. No, you never know. And that's why I always look in the windows. And

everyone gives me shit about scanning what my neighbors do. I look at what they do. I follow them. If there's somebody, if I feel like that's weird, I make sure that they're with kids that they're theirs. That's nice. But again, it's above your bank. I was just saying, I do watch. It is important. You should do in your neighborhood as well. Look around. Make sure you see somebody, like if you see a kid yelling too hard, you go, let that child go. Let him go. Unless, of course, the child's just misbehaving and of course being a parent's very difficult. Keep the child again. There you go. It's one or the other. You're helping the family. Excelsior Springs Chief Greg Dahl, nothing Dahl about this day. Stupid. They said numerous items in the residence have been

sorted through. It's a painstaking process. And additional charges could be forthcoming of evidence of additional crimes is uncovered. So thank God this woman is alive and thank God the neighbors helped her out. Apparently, some neighbors are a bit annoyed because there's a lot of flashing lights, but I just have to say who cares. Get over it. All right. Hey, maybe think about what your neighbors are doing and try to fucking regulate your own shit, regulate your street. All right. Another serious news, then we'll also kind of to kind of talk about they're putting together what seems to be evidence for a serial killer in Stockton, California. And it's a right now there is a video of a dude that they say that is a person of interest. Again,

means nothing, but we don't know yet what it means. He's he was seen within several locations of shooting. So there have been, I believe, seven people that are attributed to this guy and he's shooting them from afar. He's ambushing them, jumping out at people, walking alone at night, super comforting. You're going to love you love hearing this. Very, very son of Sam. Yes, very similar. Sam. He started off. There were two homeless women that he had shot who lived that went on to say that he's been dressed the same way that two other people saw him be dressed, which is black hoodie, black sweatpants, COVID mask with a gun, says nothing. The currently I forgot which one of the police officers who they just came out and

made an announcement saying that they believe that obviously this is quote unquote mission based because the murders are mission based and they're connected because he had ample opportunity to steal to take money to steal the car because there were people who left a running car who got shot. There was people walking their dog is really sad if someone walked the dog got shot. That's my ultimate nightmare. That's Kuklinski-esque. Yeah. So yes, the officers are saying it's not robbery. They don't know who the man is yet. I have to imagine that they will find this person at some point. The victims are very random. They age from 43 to it looks to be around 52 and 35 years old. So anyway, it's all men. It's all men. It's just random. Hispanic origin.

They're saying that they think that that might be the connection. They don't know why, why he's doing it. Obviously, there's no motive. Again, they're still trying to piece it together, but they're saying that they were all were shot by the same gun. Yes. And according to Greta Baugraus, she's 60. She's from Texas. Said that Monday that her son Paul Alexander Yaw was killed July 8th by this man. So no one knows who he is and I hope they find him soon. This is what we talk about all the time, all the work you put it in life, trying to self improve or go to school or whatever it is that you want to be doing. And then just some jackass jumps out from a bush destroys it all just says,

fuck you. No, it shoots you. And this is like this is this is fear number one, I think, for Americans. It is absolutely because I will say, you know, being in Amsterdam, there we joked about this on stage, but it's also true or was weird to be in a place that's incredibly safe. And it felt like, well, the especially from gun crime, random shooting crimes, right? Which is like now has become a definitely a horrible and truce of thought in my own mind that you run around, you wonder, or, you know, we not only just what we do for a living, but also just our sheer presences in America. And it was it's weird to walk around and know that that's not that crime can't happen to me here. I mean, I think I speak for most people nowadays,

just given, you know, what happened with the Batman shooting in Colorado. Like if you go to a movie theater, I mean, I'm sure that you do the same thing. I look for the exits. Oh, yeah, I was in places I panic, I look for exits. And I just like try to calm myself down because I feel like I prepared as much as possible. But there's really nothing you can do at the end of the day. Lawrence, one of the victims was a father of six children ages 16 to 38. It's just really sad. It's horrible. It's horrible. They say you can call Stockton Crime Stoppers 209, 946, 0600 if you do have any tips. I went down like a little bit of a rabbit hole of research of like when other people's research kind of people posting online and all that kind of shit. And there was

one thing that I saw that was interesting that he was like trying to say that all of the crimes happen around storage units and moving places. You think he lives in a storage unit? But there's a dude. But the guy has like the reason why they're showing the video of the person of interest is that they said that he has a he has like a weird walk, which he doesn't realize. It's just kind of has like a half a limp kind of counts. Yeah. And but I've seen Sherlock Holmes before that'll that'll change the pressure that the imprint of the shoe. I just know that Mike Racine the comedian was in California recently. So you're going to implicate Mike Racine. I'm just saying they're looking for a mover. They're saying there's a problem is that maybe it's a

mover and it's a guy you don't think they're an actor. Yeah, that's true. He's acting as a show on HBO or Showtime. But I do think that the internet sleuth was incorrect where he's like movers most of the time walk with an incorrect walk. And I was like, I don't think that's true. It's a moving injury. Right. Yeah, they tend to be quite upright because it's a difficult physical job. But we've got to maybe maybe after your core, maybe after years and years of moving, you might stub your toe one time too much too hard and no longer be able to walk upright. So that's an example of a shooting mass shooting serial killer going on right now active. So be on the lookout for that. I don't even know what that means. I don't know. But anyway, I want to talk about this one story

in Las Vegas that involves a stabbing. This is so disgusting because we were just out in Vegas for cycle. Yeah. And we know this area really well. It was outside of resorts world. But we're just getting dark because we're in Edinburgh. And it just feels like we give it that we do. We're just reporting the news. I mean, to some degree, Yoni various various. He has been charged. He two people are dead and six others wounded. After this dude wielded a large knife. Yeah, a large kitchen knife. And he attacked a group of showgirls. Now it's air quotes showgirls. Basically, these are just fun people. They have Chip and Dale guys and they have showgirl girls. Yeah, they do go up. They're models on the street and you do photo ops with them.

You give them 10 bucks. You take a photo and like, I'm having fun in Vegas. You send it on. You put it on your Instagram or you're sending it to your friends. You're like, look how much fun I'm having this fucking impotent bitch said that they were laughing at him. Yeah, he's garbage. And because of that, he went apeshit. One of the people that died jumped off or fell off of the bridge because there's a lot of bridge bridges connecting the casinos. Yes. And then she died that way. So this is like we if we were there at this time, there's a chance we would have seen this. I would be awesome. I would love to grab a guy who stabbing people. I'd be kind of fun and hit him down the ground and then hit him with a fucking like hit him with my shoe. I don't know what I do.

I don't know what I do. I throw him. You you got to go get him. I'd be like, kissle, you go. Kissle, go. I like to think I would do something. I mean, I have enough. I got enough meat on the bone. He could he could take a couple of inches off. You got to get the rest side stories, LPOTLGmail.com. How do you attack a man with a knife? Yes, I love to find those out. Also, I want to say I did get some updates. It is very sad, but I did get some updates. Apparently, it is a bit of a soy. Does it make men's tits get bigger? Why are we some people do you want to talk about? Yeah, they said apparently that was that is an old man's tale that actually consuming a lot of dairy would actually help your tits get a lot bigger. So

and I do have milk. I do have a Mengele milk every once in a while, but I don't know if that was making my tits get bigger. I think it might just be food. All right. So just lastly, in this case, in in Las Vegas, it's very sad. Yes, very fucked up. People are honoring the victims. And again, we just have to protect each other. One of the victims were a man, Brent Allen Hallett, 47, and Maris Marine, Dia Giovanni. So perhaps Brent was attempting to help. I don't know either way. There's six other people who are injured. And I'll tell you one thing, this motherfucker, you you endanger the lives of our showgirls. I feel like that's the real thing. I will kill you. That is why you are truly so touched because we're learning to is just how puritanical American is

unless it comes to our 15th in which case let freedom reign. Yeah. But we don't allow boobies or nipples. No. So it's one of the safe things that we can get in Las Vegas. And this man puts their lives at risks where they just no longer come out on the streets. I'm going to kill this motherfucker. Well, it's another thing that is just indicative of what is becoming a massive problem. And the fact that we just can't it is that people are all acting as if it's it's fucking with our freedom. All of this rampant street crime. Exactly. A roast as dark as the night, perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge. Finally, from the caffeine addled brains

of Spring Hill Jack coffee and last podcast on the left. Bre bring you Mothman's red eye blend. Yes. Delicious Panama beans. Go to last podcast merch dot com to order yours today. All right. Well, let's see what. Oh, my goodness. Well, we do have we have the saddest story of all time. Oh, not of all time. That story. But let's wait for because I want you to cover you've been talking about this cheating, this chess cheating thing, which I don't I didn't follow. And I didn't really understand because at first I thought it was a big deal out here. It's a big deal out here. Yes. Because I thought it was a joke. I thought that that was not real. But there was no way that you could. Can you cheat at chess with an anal vibrant? I guess that you

can. But there was this guy. I guess his name is what is he? Okay, him. You walk with Joaquin Berger Nielsen. His last name isn't even he's 19 years old. He has admitted to cheating online when he was playing online chess. But he says I do not cheat in tournaments. Now, it turns out he is facing claims that he cheated in more than 100 chess matches. And you wonder how does one cheat in a chess match? I don't know. I feel your hands are up here. Everyone sees what's going on. Well, I figured that like, because how do you cheat? Actually, that's a big question. How do you cheat? Because they know it's like you're looking for someone having an extra pair of eyes on the board. Sure. Try to see if you can see somebody else's hidden move from way down the.

I don't know. You're supposed to think like five moves ahead. The dude's name is Hans Neiman. Now, I didn't quite realize as well, because we don't know jack shit about chess that they have coaches. So apparently Hans Neiman's coach was like, buddy, you need to get me in this game. I got to get in. I got to get in there. I got to talk to you. I got to communicate with you. And he's like, maybe an earpiece. No, no, no, no, no. Maybe just some kind of thing like Altui used in with the Houston Asteroids to let them know what. Yeah, and they just have to be like, oh, you have a problem because I have a vocal tick. That's what I would say. If it's a good time to say like, oh, you're cheating. Be like, um, I have a little thing called brain worms, or we can shove a vibrator up your

asshole. And based upon how much I vibrate the vibrator in said asshole, it'll let you know what move to make. I want to know the code. I actually think much like the steroid era in baseball, which I'm a fan of. And I think it was the greatest era in baseball. It was the only time baseball was exciting. Everyone needs to do this now. I think so. I'm sorry, because chess, it's not physical enough. Now you need to get that asshole. And if you want to compete with the best of the best of the best, like Hans Newman, you better shove it dildo up there. You better shove a vibrator up there. And you got to play the game within the game. Can I ask, have you ever had a vibrator up your butt? Yes. Now, when you've had it up your butt, my question is truly, could you

play chess? No, but I mean, like, I couldn't even watch. Check your late. What movements were happening from where it just hurts? No, I love this. I'm glad that we finally have this relevation. Yes, this is just it's important. But we like, how do you suddenly do it? Is it like, bit, bit? Like, do you hit them a couple times? Is it like worse code? No, I don't know too much about my own anal proctivities or proctivities, whatever. Proctivities, whatever. But I do know one thing about the dildo and the vibrator. It's impossible to turn on and off. Like once you get it, once. Yeah, I know, but you got to hit it eight times. It's more difficult than the world's most difficult vape. You know, you got to hit it

eight times, turn it to the left, and then it goes on some other vibrating thing. And it's like, how do I, I'm not trying to stir my coffee here. How do I turn this off? I think if you're trying to cheat at the highest level and international chess, which I think some people get shot in the head over seriously, I think you're going to actually put some legit money in your dildo that you're using to communicate. So you might want one that has, because I know some have the wave like scenario. Exactly. Somehow the wag the dog machine. Some turn into like a snake. Absolutely. They can do a whole series of magic tricks actually good still. And the bottom can start shaking. Well, he has made quite a bit of money. I'm not exactly sure how much, but there

is some big prize money in chess. Yes. So because of this huge, it's like internet. It's like, it's like FIFA. It is a little bit like FIFA. And I would love to understand chess. I just simply don't. I have a friend, a friend, Mike Castle, that he's tried to get me back into doing chess. And I've been, I have been playing chess. I'm not good enough to play him yet because he's genuinely very good. And I loved playing chess, but I don't understand. Like once you get to that level, like what the different like, how do you do that? How do you message it? What if I just take my king, pick it up and just pummel you in the head with it? I don't know. That's cool. That's cool. You're being a goon. So because of this Hans Neiman, there's the image of a security

guard checking out his, checking out his rectum before the chess match. And it looks like he has like, like a ghost busters like the Giger counter. He just puts like right up to his butthole for some reason. So you're coming. You're coming. Yeah. Literally. I mean, that's another question. What if, oh, maybe that's what's happened on these American airline flights. There's a vibrator stuck in the engine. So, um, evidently, he is, he's his butthole is, it's, they're checking it before every match. And, uh, there is no, it's not 100% that he was cheating, but there's a lot of speculation. And again, at this point, if you're asking me, he went this far to cheat, you just got to give it to him. I mean, if you're putting stuff up your

ass, but I guess he said that he, he says he was prepared to play naked to prove his innocence. Sure. But now, now we're just playing into his cakes. Now this is all just about him being horny. But I didn't think about chess, right? Because when you cheat, you only cheat yourself. That's kind of true. Because if you're the grandmaster, but you have to cheat, are you? Well, I mean, again, you weren't cheating yourself, but then what if you never get conned, you make all the, and you get all the money? I don't think it's that much money. But I feel like you mostly do good con. Also, I don't, I'm just not sure about this story, because the dude, there's this guy, Magnus Carlson. He sounds like a strong man,

but he plays chess, maybe he is strong. I don't know, but he's 31. And this Hans guy beat Magnus. Now, Magnus is only 31. So he's in his prime, I guess. And because of that, it was a major upset. Because of that, Magnus said, there's something in his asshole. So I think, maybe Magnus is just upset that he lost a honk. Sure. And he just assumed something's up his asshole because there's something up his asshole, but it wasn't for cheating. And he said he cheated twice. Hans cheated twice online at ages 12 and 16. Oh, yeah, because that's real. That's very, very big too. Yeah, but that was, you know, I mean, 12 and 16 is 19 now. I mean, again, this generation talk about freedom loving people. And I'm happy in many ways that he has the will to win

to the point where he says, I don't care. I don't care. Well, that makes him American officially. It really does. All right. Well, before we get to hero of the week, let's do the saddest story that I've ever heard. This is just, I didn't know if we should do this story. It's extremely sad. But it's also magical because we don't know what's happening. We don't know what's happening there. Now, this is called the mystery of Overtown Bridge, Scotland's dog suicide hotspot. That's great. I didn't know we were going to get to dog suicides today. I'm so happy about that. I do love that it's a hotspot. It's a hotspot. It's like the brand new restaurant on the scene. That's what my puffin had when he was so uncomfortable. Yeah.

Where the skin folds meet, they got a little hotspot because I gave him a bath because I'm like, I'm going to be responsible dog owner. Give him my bath because I've been doing more of those now because he's getting older and he needs his baths. And then they were, the skin was rubbing together in a massive, it's like a bed store. So anyway, it's all taken care of. Wow. Really? That's what happened with him? It's called a hotspot. Wow. That's hard. I found out dogs get sunburned. I didn't know that. I also found out dogs can fucking commit mass suicide. All right. So get used to it. What's going on in Scotland? Why the fuck is it like this? Mysterious hotbed for what locals call, have been calling doggy suicides. So they know what's going

on. They know that it's doggy suicides. It is a bridge that is in a park. And I can give you the whole history of the park, but it is boring because again, it is just a guy had a place and then he owned, he was like, oh, we need a bridge. And so they went and built this bridge. It's been right. You don't know, but they're saying so on this bridge, people are noticing their dogs are going like nuts. Oh my God. And they say somewhere between 300 and 600 dogs have jumped off the top of the bridge, but only 50 have died. And how sad does that have to make the dog afterwards? If they got so sad, they wanted to commit suicide, they still weren't good enough to do it. I guess, but they probably broke all like their legs and

stuff. No, it's very sad. This is terrible. I should have said like trigger or something. People triggered by this. It's not good, but most of the dogs live. There's something about the dogs doing it to themselves. I mean, obviously it's very sad, but there's something about the dogs that are just like, I think I'm done now. Freedom and a choice. Okay. Well, they're saying that they don't know what it's weird because the dogs act super crazy. Like they, people are saying that the dogs go up there and it's more that they're like, they're super agitated and that one literally ran up the wall of the bridge and jumped over. Like people said, it's really crazy. They don't know what the hell is going on.

But I'll tell you what this one blog, you know what it blames? What? Ghosts. Ghosts, paranormal activity. I'm saying that we don't know where the ghosts come from, right? We don't know exactly where the ghosts would be. It's not like this is an execution spot, right? It's not one of those. Again, they didn't, they didn't, it wasn't a giant dog burning area in the 1600s. But yes, it's causing some distress, obviously, and they're trying to figure it out, but they think that it's got something to do with the smell. They say that dogs go into a sort of flight or flight response. If they smell something that smells like danger, that they will freak out, but they don't know what the hell the smell would be that it's coming from the bridge besides

just those beautiful Panama, Panama beans. Absolutely. Everyone loves a good Panama bean. So other explanations also are talking about the location. Apparently it's hushed, lush, and sometimes still, and it fits the description of what pagan Celts called a thin place. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. That's where we can go. Oh, yeah, there we go. You got it. Come on. And apparently the Dumber Darden, the Dumber Darden, which we also learned they're Amsterdamians. Is it? That's what I said. I thought you just said that. No, they're Amsterdamians. Are you still just saying that? I asked the lady. Okay, then that, then what are your people? What are you called? She said Amsterdamians. Okay, great. So they say we grew up planning

in the Overtown Grounds and we believe the ghosts are here because we've all seen or felt their spirits. Ghost dogs. It's not an explanation. I will say it does it. Why are the dogs jumping off the bridge? Yep. Well, apparently they're not doing very well. And I guess why are they doing it? Scotland is nice. Right? Yeah. It's been nice so far. I don't see any reason to jump off a bridge yet unless our show goes poorly. Yeah. In a manner near, apparently there's this dude, Bob Hill, who lives nearby. He's a former pastor from Texas. Did he jump off the bridge? No. But he, yeah, that's what he says. He said there's something with the smell. Yeah, he's saying that's what I'm saying. It's the one explanation they have. There's some kind of smell. But then he also says

they're spiritual stuff. And if you listen to the comment board, there's some here talking about this, right? So terrible. They need some kind of magical object to prevent these tragedies. A wall? Something like a chain or a cord or a leather strap that the owner can hold one in and connect the other end to the dog by some kind of futuristic clip that attaches to something the dog wears around its neck or its collar area. I will say, truly, there is a lot of unleashed dogs in Europe. And it is, I know that that's a cultural thing. Like maybe we leash our dogs up too much. I know we have to in Los Angeles because you have to because dog will fucking run to the street. Yes. But I did see some, there was a lot of unleashed dogs in Paris and there was very,

oh, the dogs are so cute in Paris. Yeah. According to Paul Owens, he's a teacher of religious philosophy in Glasgow. He's been researching this shit for 11 years. I'm just build a fucking wall. It's a rare time where I will shout the sentence build a wall, put a top over it, do something, just put a top over it. I mean, who wants to go clean up all these dead dogs? Maybe he does. There's probably just one Scotsman who's like, keep them coming. I'm sure there's some real hungry dude down there. There's one story that the white lady of Overton. Oh yeah. There's a white lady all over Scotland. But the term of the Scotland, I've done this ghost door before, and they do have it. The story of a white lady over

a lake is very common. It is spectral. Well, indeed, apparently that white lady loves her dogs. They do. They really fucking do. Let's move on to hero of the week school photos. Don't we love those? So the concept of school photos. That's not hero of the week. That's actually quite aggravating. I hated picture day. It was never a fun day. But there's this cat, and it is the funniest thing. So this cat, its name is Ziggy, and it's an orange white cat. It is a great cat name. And it's four years old. It jumped up on the photo chair, looked straight into the camera, and got its photo taken on picture day.

That's the hero. Yeah. So Chloe handed the letter to me, and I expected it to be her photos. Now Chloe is the child. And then the mom, Emma Roberts, opened it up and said, Oh my God, that's not you, Chloe, unless you're a fucking cat. But she looked inside, and she couldn't stop laughing. My mother would be fucking furious. No, she also took a picture of the baby. You need to tell me I spent money. You need to tell me I went and I spent money. So that you could go with some cat. No, well, take a picture. I'm assuming they also took a picture of the person. But she asked, what has she gone and what happened here? And she said, I asked her what had gone on. And she said the catches jumped on the chair. He didn't

need any encouragement. He just got there for the photo. The school has accepted him, and he goes there at any opportunity, and he's going to be in the yearbook and take a look at that cat. It's great. That's not a cute cat. Wow, it is. You tell me that's not a cute cat. It is really great. I don't even know a cat guy, but that cat is so damn cute. It looks so good in that school photo. So cat, you're here over the week. It's also an honorary student. It's not though. It is. It can't learn. It can. And so anyway, isn't that cute? You know, oh, that's fine. The flood. We did a lot of horrible news today. The proud moms said they were left in floods of laughter. Good, you know, anything like just spares the child of beating one day. Yeah, it's Welsh.

The story comes out. Oh, that explains it. That's what they actually, I do believe and maybe I'm wrong, but I believe in Wales. They think cats can talk and I might be we're not getting down there. No, we're not. Absolutely. All right. Well, there you go. That honestly, wow. Isn't that fun? It is fun. I mean, they probably don't need to have this cat running around their school in America. It's not happening. No, we'd shoot it in the head. Oh, absolutely. I got some really interesting information about Camp Lejeune. It's really, it's bad. Let's do it. Well, no, I just want to say, basically, they've been jerking jet fuel. It's contaminated with water. It's very sad.

So please, I mean, Sue, if you're sick on it. Yeah, no, please get them on. I just don't know what happened in 2022 or is like, this is the year where we address Camp Lejeune. It finally took what happened. I don't know. They finally got together. I do. There is a complicated email that I did get. It was very long that I will go through eventually. I will cover that next episode to talk about that and why it finally something happened inside of us right now that we can sue for in 20 years. What do we do? I don't know. I cannot be on impossible meat. I think impossible meat. I think that what would happen to us is what was I eating recently? I was like, this kid,

this is no way this is going to hold. I mean, half American cheese, the craft, the plastic cheese, there's no way that's edible. The fake marshmallow in Easter candy. Could be. I do love it, though. I love it. But you got to be careful out there, all right? Absolutely. Don't drink jet flu. It's real bad. Well, they were in Camp Lejeune. They just didn't know. I think one of the reasons why today's episode was so like, we had such sad news and you know what fucking they don't have really in Europe is Halloween. It is. What? They don't like, they don't celebrate it crazy like we do. Is that right? Yeah. There's no Halloween decorations. We're in Edinburgh. It's Halloween. Yes.

Edinburgh is the creepiest place we've been to. It really is. But Amsterdam didn't have any. And France didn't have any. And they don't. I'm going to ask, please, in London, when we're in London, what's some Halloween we could do? I want to go there. We'll go talk to your fucking ass. This is the side story of OTL, gmail.com. I want I mean, every culture has their own day of the dead. Yeah, they must have something. Yeah, they got something. I think they have a lot more wars here. Yeah. Well, we have our wars elsewhere. We ship them. Yeah. It's very nice. All right. Here we go. Oh, you're going to do an email? Yeah. Okay, great.

When I was about eight or nine years old, my family and I lived in a haunted house. Being that young, it was easy to dismiss things as my imagination until I realized my parents were experiencing things too. It was good. My father worked early mornings and heard a man whispering his name in his ear. Don't like that. No, don't. He didn't mention this to us or our mother. A couple of days later, my mother confided to my father that she heard a man whisper her name in almost the same exact spot in the house. My father still describes the fear he felt in that moment. We found handprints bigger than our father's hands on our full size mirror higher up than my father could comfortably reach. Sure, dad. That's good. LeBron. Mm hmm.

After wiping these off, we found a baby's hand prints on the same mirror a day later. Not good. That's very scary. Me and my sister bathed together still at this time. They were both 17 years old. That's not true. That's not true. I'm sorry. No, this is young. Now, my dad heard us scream and ran into find two identical scratch marks down our backs. Oh, this really creeps me out. My sister was missing one morning. We ran around screaming for her for about 15 minutes, and then we heard her crying from upstairs. We found her tucked underneath her bed, which is barely high enough on the ground to lay under where your nose touches the very bottom of the frame. She's never sleepwalked before, and she had no recollection of how she got there.

Very creepy. The kicker from my personal experience was when I was laying in bed trying to sleep. I always hated sleeping in the dark, but my TV was an automatic timer to shut off. Remember that back in the day? That was high tech. Oh, yeah. So when I woke up in the middle of the night, it was pitch black. The only light came through my window that sat in the dead center of the wall across my bedroom door. My bed was pushed against the wall, my head faced that window. I was on the second floor, so when I saw a pair of eyes staring into my window, my stomach sank. They were looking straight, not at me. I felt my breath catch in my throat. There was something wrong with the eyes because I felt like I could see the actual color of them. As I took a breath,

it looked at me and we locked eyes for what felt like an eternity. I decided I needed to get out of that room. As I moved to take the blanket off of me, I saw the eyes begin to look pennant. I ripped the blanket off, ran for the door. As I shut the door, I heard a thud, like something hit my door from behind it. I turned on all the lights in the house and sat awake on the couch until I passed out. The next morning, my dad was furious because he was one of those dads that was pissed about the electric bill. Oh yeah, my dad too. What are we fucking lighting up the universe? I know. All right. To this day, I don't know if it was a ghost and true durr or sleep paralysis. I hope you guys like my spooky experience. Very scary. And it all

happened at Camp Lejeune. Camp Lejeune! Whoa! Um, but whew, man, you can feel the spirits here. You really can. You really do. And I love that, man. Absolutely. They need to sue that Rawlings chick for copyright. Yeah, they do. That's what all Edinburgh does. Go take Harry Potter back. Go take him back. Take him back. All right, man, because we're out here living every day knowing we're alive in the city of the dead. Every day you walk around and mortar made out of human bone. And guess what? The only bone I got is the bone for my wife. Okay. And the TSA. And for hunting the paranormal. Yes. And now we're out here. I can't wait. Tonight we're going to see some ghosts. Um, because I'm going to fart in a Ziploc bag and watch it. Watch it.

His life is beautiful. His life is beautiful. We're getting so good at this. 11 years in, we're getting so good at this. We're so good at radio. You're going to love how I end this episode with this triple L like I always do. Fart in a bag. Thinking about condensed farts in a Ziploc bag. And then you laugh because you've got to because if not, you're going to throw yourself off a bridge like one of those hundreds of dogs. Yeah. Really great episode. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening and thanks so much for supporting us. Uh, and it's just, it truly has been awesome. It's been awesome to be able to tour Europe. I can't wait. We got Edinburgh tonight. We can't, but we've already done Edinburgh and it was fantastic. It was fantastic. Again, Henry did

a frog bit where he just totally got naked, covered himself in green goo and just belched. And it was just fantastic. Yeah, I did that. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. Hail yourselves. Magustalations, everyone and be safe out there. Get out. Get out. Get out and let, let him go. Yeah, let the girls go. Don't stab anybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.