Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Neighborhood Gimp

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's weirdest true crime stories: a series of "Gimp Sightings" leave a UK neighborhood on edge, Former NYPD-turned-Demonologist - Chris DeFlorio, Woman buried alive by her estranged husband calls 911 from her Apple Watch, an under appreciated Hero of the Week, Listener E-mails, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories We have managed to live through five days of Halloween. Oh, it's three days and it's what you start your Halloween I honestly technically I started Halloween in August hmm in my own my own body But now this is the day nine of Halloween and I do love it But now my body is like I'm ready. I am becoming a pumpkin, but I think it's giving pumpkin Oh, did you have a Reese's pieces? Did you have a Reese's peanut butter cup? Did you have anything Reese's related? What? Are you just are you are you a cloud of just man? Are you a cloud? Oh, are you a person? I'm a chocolate peanut buttery blustery mix right now folks

What was your favorite part of spending Halloween together the Reese's pieces and also the party that we went to the second party at Papa John's and I've had Papa in a while. So that was in my tummy there And just the best part of your entire night was the old Papa John's yes You found at the party that we had at night. That's it none of the people that we met No, no, no fun that we had we met Barbara Crampton. That was an icon. She's an icon and I'm gonna say this right now Henry You scared her less than you scared your other female icon, which is the gal from the ex vials Yes, I did scare her less

But the thing was is that by the time I met Barbara Crampton, I had eaten a bunch of mushrooms Hmm and I was in them the clown outfit and by the time I was trying to speak to Barbara Crampton I realized I was becoming the evil clown That I was in front of her. You know what I mean? There was a charm left There was no that was the beginning of the night. That was Pete Charm. It wasn't Obviously, you did a great job. This what pictures were indeed horrifying. Yeah, the costume was good But I felt like once I was in there like that now realize like oh now I'm now I'm tripping balls Like now I'm here and then I saw her and I just want to be like Barbara big fan

It's always on my head a big fan Barbara and I don't want to scare the hell out of her. No, I'm also frightening Appearance, but then you figured of any of the women in the world that would be used to people in frightening costume It would be her, right? Absolutely again She's scared of you. She touched you her icon indeed. I wasn't dressed quite as scary as you are I and were but I was indeed Sharebear one of the fantastic Care Bears welcome to side stories everyone been hanging out with Henry What a weekend it has been you were the share bear. I believe it was share bear. That's the one with the heart on it

I'm pretty certain. I'm getting it. I'm getting a positive nod from Fernando. He does not lie So yes, I was sure bear. I thought your bear is the only care bear that got dp'd Well, you never know what's gonna happen and again isn't sharing caring Do you think that they have family and friends? Do you think they fuck? How are more care bears made? Are they made by just God those God's poops? No, no care bears do have natural sex. I believe that they can have vaginal sex I'm pretty sure they're not been mutilated by these women who run the Westminster dog show So I think they can just have natural sex and they don't have to be bred. There's a whole I'm sure There's a lot of care bear lore out there if you really want to Google care bear sex

I'm looking it up find a lot of stuff, but I'm going to tell you this right now I'm putting a little mode on I'm putting incognito mode before I do this before Incognito is a myth by the way. It works. The FBI wants to get in. I'm hiding it for myself. Okay. Well, that's good Care bear sex alright like the care bear in the Urban Dictionary is a sexual act where the following occurs The guy sits on the toilet naked his girl straddles on top and face towards them while naked the guy put his dick inside the girl Um, but I guess it's supposed to be what does that have to do with caring or the guy I don't know It's a guy shits while having sex with a woman on the toilet. That's called doing the care bear That's called the care bear according to the internet

Why does childhood have to be ruined with every with every click of a key from the internet and also the imagery? I just clicked onto the image. Yeah, were you wondering what that would look like? It's not good. I don't like it I also feel like because I always thought that the care bears were like Jesus in nature No, they like they're not Christian. No, they had a whole series of magical powers My parents didn't even like the care bears. It was too mysterious and mystical much like why they don't allow Harry Potter to be in The house still even though my older brother younger brother rather is 30 years old and they still Reject the powers of Harry Potter. I mean even though they probably agree with a lot of what they're what the creator says But anyway speaking of bathrooms. I had this epiphany yesterday. Oh, I was that one of my bars there

And I was watching the Green Bay Packers. Oh squeak out of loss to the Buffalo Bills. Well, they lost again. Yeah, they lost They always lose But kissle didn't they used to be really good. They're good and then there's something about ayahuasca and I'm all open your mind Open your mind. This is my main football grudge is that he needs to get back to playing football the Aaron was Aaron Aaron Rodgers Aaron Rodgers needs to get back to fucking get your head in the game Get your head about balls think about running plays. Don't sit and think about I don't need you here You're little your opinions from your pretty little head I don't need to hear it and quite frankly sometimes if you're in the midst of a football season

Close the third eye. We don't care. Does it know it does it affect you getting this ten-yard play to in order to have a first down Right now. No, it does not if he won every game. I'd hang on his every word, but he's no lot He's not winning. So no, it's opinions don't matter. It is like I swear to God Not any distant on anyone, but I once you start going on Rogan and you're an athlete next thing, you know Between a touchdown or an interception Catching the ball and isn't it about a communal this together. It's like no, we're not no We're not I have an aggressive alcohol need and it makes me happier when I'm drinking to see you win Yes, but guess what man? He wants to lose because now he knows because in his head

He's like well if I lose eventually I could stop playing football and I can go do a bunch of other dumb shit Whatever the hell else he wants to do with his stupid level. He's gonna be selling cars Well, you can do whatever actually that does happen quite often and there's big money in little cars Anyway, what I was thinking about this. I'm in the bathroom, right and I look down into the toilet There's someone else's pee in there and you know what and I realized this is the most egotistical thing that everybody does Well, let them let in mellow. No It's because before you pee you flush the toilet because you don't want to pee on somebody else's pee And I think that that's rude and I think it's wrong and I think it's something we all need to work on

I think you do I'll just piss on the piss. That's there if there's a big turd in there I leave I Don't leave if there's piss on there. I will piss on the piss if there's poop in there. I find a different stall I don't know. I don't handle your shit I let's that's not for me. That's some other cuck who comes in there That feels the need to flush for them for somebody else I don't flush for anybody else But isn't that something we all do when we see the oh, there's someone else's pee in the toilet

Yes, I don't want to pee on that person's pee. Isn't that egotistical so don't we have to work on that? What are you talking? So this is what you came in with today. This was my epiphany. This is your material But again sure of an epiphany, but I feel I'm the opposite I just brought that up. You just brought that up as if that was a general axiom. Oh, I think and you don't know Email site stories LP utility. Oh, you know the email at this point folks Email us. Let us know. Do you flush it if it's someone else's pee because again most people do including the most your global Conscious Paranoia talking because you think in your head how dare someone not piss on somebody else's piss when I'm certain because you just talked to one

You just asked one person and I just said I guess I'm a sample size Yeah, it's I'm as close to you as anybody could ever possibly be you're an unknowable sphinx Yeah, I am a good person. I am of the people right. I'm the common man You're you're flipping the rolls, but I do think you're we are common in so many ways But I do think that was interesting when the way I was thinking about that the other night You did you think it's interesting, but I don't know if it's an axiom. I don't think anybody thinks like that I think everybody pisses on the piss. We just don't know do we also I was doing. Oh, I love a good tequila Okay, well, let's talk. Do you want to do this one?

What are you talking about? We're getting worse at radio On the way over we're still doing just fine Kevin's logo covered the story that we covered and I was like when traditional radio covers its story that we covered It was the looking good the looking good ghost from the house But we covered it better. They were they were too mean I thought Anyway, ladies first of all the lady of the dunes, Massachusetts oldest unidentified murder victim has been named They found her through I actually I'm not quite certain how they ended up finding her. This is Ruth Marie Terry She was 37 and she was from Tennessee. She was found dead

We now know one mile east of the race point ranger station on July 26 1974 Do you stop aging after death or is she in fact? 87 no, I see 37 she when you're dead. That's when your clock stops So you're 37 forever. You're 37 forever, but to everybody, but you're dead. Okay, so that's as made as far as you made it So she they said it was blunt force trauma. This is now. This is an old that I did a bit of an unidentified case They've been talking about this for a long time. I believe that this was also connected vaguely to Henry Lee Lucas for a There was a couple people there's a couple people tied to this but that I don't think in it

Playing out they did end up finding this was through quote-unquote investigative genealogy This is another one of those that they found the DNA through various Family members that had entered their DNA into things like 23 in me to and eventually it led to this person Where they think if they got a ping on her DNA Mm-hmm. I've seen some videos 23 in me and I have to say what a DNA test that would be so anyway She is now known and I guess that's good for the family. It took a long time So there you go. So anyway, I'm not really sure exactly where to go with it There's not it's not a happy ending. No, I mean or name now. It's almost actually worse. Well, there's closure

I think closure does help people. I have heard the term closure I guess people like I don't understand it in relationships because eventually just like just leave who gives a fucking shit Get the hell out of here. Why you why are you still talking to me? But when it comes to an actual like like the family Wants to know that they have their person because that I feel like that's a thing that like, you know Caitlyn Dowdy talks a little bit about this like yeah, your friend is dead and now obviously your your family member is dead and It's sad, right because your the person's gone But you still have the meat and there's something about having the meat still for a lot of people It makes them feel a lot of the feel peace because like that's still your friend, right?

It's still your family member. They can't play checkers anymore You don't know what they're doing on the other side slightly macabre about the entire thing and obviously we dabble in the world in Macabre Reminds me of serial killers. Sometimes they'll take a trophy like that one killer we talked about that stole the fingers Yeah, I believe that was Fred Fred Fred West one of their most disgusting couples of all time But if you are alone out there, they found each other. They found each other can find love take those How many times we said this on the show take those expectations dial them down it was zero maybe You'd be really surprised or dick or dial them up to 600 because I was just watching three back-to-back episodes of my 600 pound life All of them in relationships fantastic. Oh, you gotta do is be there. You just gotta sometimes just be alive

Absolutely, but isn't it interesting? It's almost like a less. It's like a trophy in a way Where people they'll carry a vial of blood from a deceased relative or whatever and I find that to be a little strange I really do but I also understand but it's it's adjacent to a serial killer collecting toes I think that it's the we Have ignored that process of life and we think that that it's very scary and we don't want to talk about it We don't want to deal with it because it's gonna come through us all the grim reaper He and his sight comes for each one of us And you know it but I think it scares people and they don't want to deal with it

They don't want to think about it. They kind of like this idea that like oh Grampy's in heaven with Beethoven and shit, but Beethoven's not in heaven, bro. No grampy's over there. He's got a fucking bench over it You know, yeah, and all those stories the grandpa didn't tell you about the war is why he's also not in heaven He's down in hell Vietnam It's scary, but anyway, um, you know, it's not going to hell. This is a yeah, they found her. She's done. It's good. Congrats Good work. Good work 87 years fun. Well, that is also the 23 and me thing

You know, I mean, I'm just so if you're if you're the Golden State killer You really do have to be kind of upset with the relative that did 23 and me Oh, so I mean, I kind of love the idea But there's a series of horrible crimes and a very unsolved and there's a 90-year-old right now shaking in his boots That's what I know they're gonna find out I killed 85 people in 72. I think that's important I really think that that if one thing yeah, it's an invasion of privacy blah, blah, blah But if it can serve one piece of good It's that there are people out there that have committed crimes that have not been caught and that every day

They get to relive in fear and that's the most you can do is make these nine-year-olds Afraid for the rest of their lives. I mean, they already are. Oh, but then make them extra afraid make them afraid to go into jail I think more great more Nana's and Papu's need to be afraid of getting fucking hardcore busted. Oh my goodness Well, it might be nice to have a nice a little decorator there in the jails speaking of hardcore busted This is the really sad though because I think that this person didn't I don't think it's like how is this a crime? Okay, that category so the North Somerset Gimp the sightings there has been somebody who's been arrested in the process now We've covered this of the last couple of years. It seems to be there is a guy that walks around What is this love the North Somerset Park part of?

This is in the UK, right? And they they finally got somebody so they arrested a dude that they I believe let me see if they actually named him I don't know if they actually named him. I'd be kind of like even upset if they know it was just a man in his 30s That's what the BBC does well. I mean and the at least that's like one of those things they do well in the UK Is that they don't name their criminals until they've got them, right? They try not to they try because you are technically innocent and delproven guilty Yes, and of course the perp walk and the idea of guilt is very easy to instill in people's minds And that is why it flips our entire legal system on its head so many times

But in just when it comes to a to gimp, right just to sort of clarify what that means This man was covered in mud. He was wearing blue latex gloves, and he was in a head-to-toe dark body suit Now I'm kind of with you Henry. He was a public nuisance. I guess he's been doing this for three years But unless I'm wrong, I think he just stands there and frees people out. There's the thing So I don't even know this is the thing too. Well, they don't even know if this is the Gimp, right? You think there might be multiples there was a guy so the gimp suit in the original guy was seen in a full leather You know, it's like a three hundred fifty dollar gimp suit because I looked into one, right? I'll tell you one thing. That's why fetishes you it really does depend on how what's your economic status?

Because sometimes you I mean you can do any organic fetish you want that's true stuff I'm making it right now. You can steal a bunch of strawberries from the grocery store and shove them up your ass That's no problem. Absolutely. You'd be Chris Farley shove a tomato up your butt call yourself the human salad do whatever you want But my god 300 plus dollars for a gimp suit and then how many times can you use it? You will I think what the gimp suit is like because you can clean leather, but it's an investment It's your thinking of your family Henry Thomas come in the room. This is gonna this game is gonna pay for your college. Can you zip me?

Oh, Henry Thomas, can you zip me? Oh, I had to do that yesterday was seen in Guzznavi or Saturday at our party because my carabiner is zipped in the back my little I told him he had one set of zippies because he kept me was like Will you sit me every single time he was going to the bathroom because then he popped the seal and then he went to the bathroom Like 15 times, but then I was just like I can't keep on zipping you. Okay. Where is my wife? Where is my but so we the gimp suit was like he'd stand right there, but he wore He was like war an official right like he wore a hardcore one and he was he just stand and People got afraid and the troops their reaction is billy. It's not all he's doing a crime

It's not a crime. He's just quite in a sense of inherent fear. It's inherent fear He's spreading what you're like who gives a shit number one. Yeah, well welcome to America First of all, I can get with the program. Well, I don't I don't tell you He's just standing there he's just in there and yet he just looks weird He looks creepy sure but the guy that they got the reason why they got him is that he approached a teenager, right? This is where it gets it. So he he approached a teenager and So the guy was not wearing the full gimp suit It seemed that he was wearing some form of normal leotard

Unitar type gear because he had then he had latex gloves on and he had covered himself in some form of crud Some sort of white mud crud Because the guy also say I will say Because according to the police officer is outfit was shown He was some sort of liquid and he was glistening in the torch light and he's not really he smelled really earthy After he'd gone you could still smell it because you could tell that he was covered in mud But you notice they didn't say he smelled like shit. No, he smelled very earthy earthy

Absolutely, like so many of these wonderful organic mothers all around Arizona now I will say in this scenario. He wasn't just standing there He did do something that our friend Holden MacNeely might do and did do as a child So once he's talking to this 19 year old witness who again, I don't know man. I'd be like dude You're in a gym suit. Just kind of crazy. I don't think I was a man. I'd be like you'd be crazy There's a guy I would laugh I feel like in the end when I if I was 19 years old and I saw a guy come out of the thing Covered in mud and fall down in the ground start twitching back and forth. I'd laugh That's how you became friends with Holden MacNeely and that's how murder fist your sketch group started this so he was quote

unpredictable flopping to the floor Riding and grunting. That's what he told that's what the teenager told BBC news. I just love that. He's on the crime is that he's unpredictable Again, why is this a crime? How is this? How is this a crime? So the teenager then said the man took a step on the pavement arched his body and flopped to the ground Without putting his hands out to catch himself Me and creepy yeah Was he hard did he touch him? No, no and again I I'm not

I this would not be a case of victim blaming me because I'm not sure what the crime is I don't know what the crime is you can you just how do we how can we live our lives if just being creepy and weird is Bad and the teenager he tells BBC news I don't want this guy to be seen as a boogeyman, but this kind of thing this invisible threat that he Could be anywhere about it's indirectly causing fear. What it is just a guy being stupid You can't it caught indirectly causing fear is what I do every day as I'm just walking and you're scared of me And I've done nothing wrong You know what's a crime? You know what? I mean, I seriously legalize being a gimp

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You know what actually is it could you know what causes fucking inherent fear and fucking an air of invisible fear The one thing I will say is the scientists found potential a potentially hazardous asteroid It's I was hiding in the sun's glare and so this is that causes me Inheritance, that's very scary, but what are we gonna do? We don't have asteroid gloves. We don't have a handcuffs There's also was it dressed in a large leather asteroid gimp suit because that might change everything Finally according to the summer set please no one has been physically harmed during any of these incidents But we know that they have caused concern to the local community and they are determined to identify the individual or Individuals

Responsible to stop them. I'm going to say this right now They're doing nothing wrong. No, do we want to live in a cookie-cutter world? Do we want to live in Germantown, Wisconsin, which is a real town? They made all the houses look like they were from Germany in the 1920s That sounds fun, but I like the Bavarian side of it, but not what all the Bavarian stuff led to it's not even living in a Lego village It's living in a play school village. It's or a playmobile village. It's as generic as it gets No one has any expression other faces. I say more gimps more fun. Have a good time with it We're gonna strengthen these kids up 19 year old at the very least

I mean you do have this point also to like punch them in the head have fun with it be 19 I also now understand a little bit more about the UK and England in general to know that this was in the southern part of England which is supposed to be like the modern part It's supposed to be the pump It's not all country and weird and like and haunted like the Isle of Man and Yorkshire, right? It's supposed to be like like with it, you know, it's like because in the end wouldn't it be fun think about this instead of prosecuting these gimps Put them together and have them form a volunteer fire brigade

Absolutely the gimp fire, but like activate your gimp's Why don't you say hey listen if you're out wandering in neighborhoods at night make sure nobody's robbing us Absolutely the neighborhood watch that would actually be effective because then people would see all the the pack of gimp's Walking around and they might think so they might think twice about coming to your home because especially because to get through the gimp You're gonna have to spank each one one by one They think I'm in the shadows, but I am the shadows. I am the shadows Although I will say in Kira Elston case it seems like again if there are freelance multiple gimp's some might be more dangerous than others This is why it's very scary

There's fucking like they're half the police officers are literal murderers So yeah a group of the fucking gimp's might be but yeah, you know, but a collective and then they're they're gonna Have to self-regulate because she says her experience was terrifying She says she's got an image in her head of this dude walking towards her and staring In this case he was touching his growing grunting and breathing heavily again nothing that Holden hasn't done When he was a child in North Carolina, but I'm not gonna doubt this woman But same at the same time. What does she mean by holding crotch and grunting or did gimp man just have an itch? I mean, that's we just don't know. I'm gonna be his lawyer. He I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna represent him

I'm gonna buy one of those wigs. I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna like and I'm gonna show up in a gimp suit So everyone can I can normalize it for the court Well, you could show up in your wingman suit, which is a fantastic suit that you have yeah the big old It's kind of a man type your bat wings, but anyway, what will be interesting in this I think if you're the cops you just got to sit him down and you'd almost got to sit him down and what looks to be like a nice 1983 living room and just be like son What's going on like this because I don't know what the crime is and yet to tell us what the crime is But I feel like if I was the father of my renegade gimp son

Yeah, I would then what we have learned Kessel the power of elder Millennials, right bordering on Gen X We take the things that they think is cool that the young kids are cool. No, I'm not doing it now It's not so fun anymore So once dad so if dad finds out that the son is being a professional gimp and walking around dad should get a gimp suit and say No son We can be gimp's together and then see how it all goes be like I want to hear your father grunt as he gets spanked while he's in case some leather. This is your lifestyle son I'm trying to understand you. I'm trying to be with you. Yep, and your son will go and start

I don't know becoming a doctor or a judge or whatever a butcher anything other than a man Dressed in a gimp suit who just hangs out in what seems to be sparsely Town And you go there and you go get your eggs, they'll put them in the refrigerator there They don't do it because they got different processes Yes, go on do you rather okay, this is the story that's just really more about a change in careers life And tell me what you think is worse. There's a man by the name of Chris the Florio

He served I love this is exactly the flower. Yeah, the Florio. He served in the NYPD for 19 years He has retired right because now He's a demonologist. I love it. He has revealed some of these these terrifying encounters He's been talking about this his key is now what he does is he travels from town to town in a tour You can go buy tickets to his show Chris the Florio demonologist and he Will arrest the fucking ghost In your body, you know, I'm happy that this guy number one I guess you do get to retire after 19 years on the force. That's kind of why it's a good profession

Hopefully he didn't do too many horrific things the NYPD as an interesting history when it comes to ghosts, however He might be able to use his powers of detection for good. He might but the problem is you can't plant in ghost evidence You can't plant ghost crack on any ghost bodies. So it's gonna make his job. This is probably he's no doubt in my mind Actually, he's doing more legitimate detective work as a demonologist Then he did as an NYPD place. Oh, but you better be careful with these demonologists because there's a couple bad apples in there And you don't want it to turn to a dab as well. All demonologists are bastards. It's a funny little joke now the Florio He says that you got to be careful, right? You got to be careful because he says he's ghosts evil Forces, they've attended the physically hurt me many times the most one guy would you even believe he pushed me down a flight

He says I I injured my hamstring. Oh my goodness And then another instance he said a spirit tried to run him off the road when he was driving I think that spirits first name was Jack and his life name was Daniel. Oh My goodness. Well a childhood friend of a homeowner whose home Oh, it's haunted. There's a lot of poltergeist activity where where the name correctly you say his name is correctly That is 43 year old communication specialist Sean douche This is not even that is not a bit. He's dude, but you know, he goes by doucey. It's douce Son douche he told in his paper. You're right. So

There were a lot of weak things happening in my house. There's some kind of poltergeist activity Yeah, that panel my TV movie it wouldn't shut off maybe cuz I couldn't figure out the Apple TV But there was a lot of weird things happening the security system that went on and off Objects were flying my friend. He was embarrassed by this. It wasn't something he would talk about He didn't want anybody think he was crazy Right. I do love this is the most Italian response to haunting is just embarrassment. What is this gonna do to the family? What is this like? It's like this is not you're it's not it's not embarrassing. You're not Coming for you like

Luciano's don't get Luciano's is gonna know what week they're gonna cut this gonna be a wall be like, you know, there's not gonna be a mom You just really isn't about your petty Italian Fuse that you have all over the neighborhood where all of everyone from the outside things are all the same anyway So stop fighting. This is great. Sean recounts another terrifying episode on the road He would never forget. We were on a too late highway and my friend He started driving a radical right? We were going to drive either driving the traffic or off the road and I asked him What's happening? What are you doing? My friend says hey something in me that is trying to kill us that I started yelling

You stop the car stop the car. I'll drive. I'll drive. I don't know if it was the devil But it was some spirit. I saw my friends. He personality changed and made him want to try to drive us up the road I don't know what I was it Was Edibles my friend because I have been in the back of a cab when the edibles hit and I'm like I'm gonna roll out of here I think this guy's trying to kill me the they are just the funnest little drunks He said he went back to his buddy's place right where his buddy places was haunted This is where he's talking about his friends places haunted and he said like this is the thing was like, okay

I went in their house and upstairs. I heard there was a guitar playing right and it was singing as I was resting I was trying to rest in my room and then I was like I started realizing I heard multiple voices singing I said hey, and I yelled up. I yelled. I was like what is happening with you? What is going on? My friend he turns to me and he says I just picked up this guitar and said I know it sounds weird But I feel like someone is moving my hand when I play this song. I'm learning new songs and even know how to play My friend we would talk about it in the morning and now I was going to bed. I was freaking out I had Christian music playing the whole time just to calm down His friend was just learning guitar and he didn't realize that his brain was learning he's like something's going on

Something's not right. I feel like I'm learning I love these characters. There's just all such tremendous news friends Italian Amityville needs to happen this cop turned demonologist He will have a movie where he is the there will be an actor playing him and judging by the look of him It's going to be a great day for Italian casting in Hollywood dude. Holy fucking shit Christoflorio cop demonologist. He says he doesn't even do the exorcisms Well, who doesn't then he outsources them. This is the most Italian. This is the most New York shit And he said that his buddy from Maine, right? He said he was through a mutual friend a mutual connection

He said in his friend his buddy for Maine was like, oh, I think I'm possessed, right? And DeFlorio is just like, okay. He was he was demonomically. He was demonomically possessed or whatever, right? The demon is demoninhabitant. This is a word for word. My thing is I don't do exorcisms I call on exorcists when I need them and just turn into a case of demonic possession before our eyes Unattentionally he brought the demonic spirit in until someone came in and he and they burned the tarot cards Because apparently the guy came in and he burned tarot cards saying that he was being inhabited by this demon that was making him do it Absolutely, and of course that was perhaps what led to the demon attaching itself to a wonderful Victorian style home I have to say one thing about demons great taste in homes man

I believe that we are in Victorian style home this past weekend at one of the parties we went to and oh my god Do I love a good Victorian very nice? So there you go if you're currently incarcerated right now and your arresting officer was Krista Florio How dumb do you feel? I mean this whole thing literally blames and the main story it blamed on the guy said he bought a cursed desk And he opened up the desk and had a tarot cards in it and then the tarot cards like put a demon in him Through the thing and then he calls up his buddy Krista Florio's was like hey, don't worry I got a guy and then it's like that's all he does. He's just a guy who's got a guy Well that of course is the Deflorio way well speaking of

Well really no non sequitur here. This story is actually horrifying being buried alive Oh, this is one of the things that I have I had a nightmare about a year ago about being buried alive And I still wake up and sweat it scares the shit out of me. I just watched VHS 99. Oh, it's a it's fucking real good But there wasn't a there's one of those in that like there's a scenario which just scares the living shit out of me It's like it really creeped me out. It was really great. There was a Washington estate woman. She was allegedly buried alive in the woods by her Estranged husband. Yeah, a strange would be the right word strange would be the word So she ended up escaping at one o'clock in the morning She says my husband is trying to kill me. She screamed that was according to court documents

She had duct tape still wrapped around her neck lower face and ankles There was extensive bruising to her legs arms and head and her clothing and her hair were covered in dirt You really have to be careful the number one who you marry That's a big thing and also you got to keep digging because this woman managed to dig herself out her husband Che Kyeong and it's now facing a slew of charges because they're coming for him first degree attempted murder First-degree kidnapping first-degree assault and they and then also they give them an A for grave digging Like at least they showed it but he he drugged her Apparently they were in the middle of divorce, right?

There's a police in Lacey. It's about 60 miles west of Seattle They responded Sunday afternoon to this woman's home after receiving a 911 call of a woman screaming who sounded gagged Right, so he he drugged her food And there's I guess after they had to get it turned to a long extended argument about their ongoing divorce and the money Settlement and shit like that. They said that he drugged her He then duct taped her head her eyes and the ankles and then um, but I guess the 911 call came from her Apple watch Oh interesting. Okay, she managed to do it needs to be a it's a commercial. He also stabbed her in the chest I know Apple watch does have some commercials where the person will be like I fail I slipped I can't okay

Thank you Apple watch this will be one that they could run during the Halloween season. Yes Yeah, remember the the emergency like I fell and I can't get up. They could not get up I do remember that and that was life alert. I do I kind of want one now It'd be kind of cool to just call the cops anytime you want that you had to do if you're in a rough neighborhood We're a life alert like little necklace and then you can get the cops to show up look at the split Absolutely, I'm not sure if it still works or not But I heavy so once she was buried and put in the ground a heavy tree was put on top of her After being put into the ground she could hear her husband walking around the hole and

She's still in there still in there and she could hear dirt being put on top of her anyway They found her kind of crazy that they found her I can't believe and then like she got she just like oh She said that she squirmed around while she was in the hole and managed to free her face enough to breathe and then like She just did it. She just wiggled and wiggled and wiggled which is what he said time and time again That is how you get out of these scenarios is that you got to be like a croc, dude You're gonna be like a wet-ass anaconda, man You could like keep snapping snap that but yeah them legs kick and scream bite I've seen a couple of YouTube videos, but how to escape handcuffs and then I whenever you are handcuffed

You're like well, what was that video all about again, dude? You flex the whole thing. It's the Harry Harry Houdini trick when you flex you flex so that your your wrists are bigger When they're in there, and then you Relax, I think the cops know that now they punch you in the stomach real fast and then when you're relaxed Yeah, well now they do the zip ties which is extremely difficult to get out it is but anyway according to her She said that she she says that he told her he would rather kill her than give her his retirement money So he'll enjoy a great retirement Behind bars. Thank God that she got out how insane. Do you think she gets the money either way?

I think that she deserves something yet at this point Yes, because a little buried alive thing, but do you think that that happens like when you go in like in the diff I imagine now like they'll they'll get divorced. I think so. Yeah, I think now I don't think you're gonna go through with it. It wasn't like one of those weekends where they re-found love It's not the parent trap or they wanted to get back together and the kids really helped. No I think the divorce is more than final at this point. I don't even think they have to go through the paperwork If someone does that like do you still have to go that's just side stories L Po TL gmail.com if you're a lawyer if you're a divorce lawyer

That's ever dealt with this if you're in the middle of the divorce and your your spouse tries to kill you But doesn't get you right like doesn't get you can you get the marriage annulled and like and not have to go through the Processes, I don't think you want to know though because again that I don't think you get the money So she does this retirement money Do you still have to go to court after the dude is buried you in a shallow grave? Well, you still have to go through all of that stuff Well, the people that I know that are divorce lawyers. My god. It's a tough. It's a tough job. Believe it or not It's not everyone acting their best. No every it is very difficult. Nobody likes it except for the people getting paid for it Hey there

Podcast listener. Have you ever been listening to wizard in the bruiser and thought to yourself? I wish I could see just how fat Jake and Holden are in real life Don't lie. We know all about your weird inside thoughts listeners Well, now you can make that dream a reality because whiz brew and page 7 are going on tour Austin Dallas Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis DC Philly Brooklyn San Francisco, LA Nowhere is safe from an all-new show. We're calling release the butthole cut you come join your fellow LPN fans for a night of pop Culture chaos. That's fun for the whole family assuming your family consists of equally broken weirdos in their 30s It's gonna be a blast tickets are on sale right now at last podcast network.com. Go go now

There's VIP meet and greet passes available as well in case you want to get you know a little extra close Especially personal I legally have to clarify that there is no sexual element involved. I mean unless you know, okay? Jeez, Jake. All right, stop winking. All right, buddy It's page seven and wizard in the bruiser live go to last podcast network.com for dates and tickets Speaking of divorces, let's talk about marriage. This is a love story between two Beautiful dolls and a man, but also it involves a crime and I must ask what's the crime here? A man was arrested for marrying two sex dolls in a bizarre wedding at the holiest Buddhist site So he married he married two dolls to each other

Two dolls to one another. Okay, so Apparently he was a cult leader and he has seven others So the cult leader was with seven others when security guards stop them with the strange mail order figures Why then set up a marquee into the compounds parking lot instead to perform the ritual Why though? I don't know the Burmese ministry of religious affairs and culture officials said in a statement We have filed a case against Zarni Ong and the group for defamation of the Buddhist religion I feel like they kind of need to leave this guy alone. Yeah, I don't know Both dolls were reportedly brought from China instead five foot five tall five inches five feet tall with big breasts brown hair brown eyes

Big breasts. I like how they put that in immediately And made up of Evo skeleton, so I don't know what the crime is I don't know anyway I feel like you and I in a way are Men out of time because I think of these things and I just like what could it possible? Who could this possibly affect the gimp guy who could it possibly fuck with like in my mind Isn't that the sign of freedom that you could do these things like yes I guess it must fuck with their like religious beliefs like that's what they're saying

But I don't know you I guess you can be arrested for it there But still like it's just two dolls like meanwhile like can they get all get married to a nine-year-old girl and fill the nine-year-old with Child is that one of those where it's like you could marry a child all day as long as it's married you could fuck right right? I would be that I think that that would be quite bad So in june a tourist climbed a sacred tree on the paradise isle of Bali and was fined in order to pray for forgiveness So it just seems like they have a really Spiritual version of law enforcement and one of the punishments is that you have to pray for forgiveness Which I guess is actually nicer than what we do here

I suppose within jail I guess but still like because then you have to internalize it. You know I mean yes You mean like then you have to be like now thank me for punishing you and it's like I hate you though But I hate you. They're just really strict over there local police said that the dude that was in the tree wasn't aware It was considered sacred to all the islanders and he's he claimed that he climbed the tree to make personal online content in line with his hobby Oh, yeah arrest him like fuck that. Yeah, honestly now I'm coming around to the other side. Yeah arrest that guy

Well, you're making tiktoks. You should be arrested if you climb on a sacred tree Yeah, I get it seems like it's not the fact that they married two sex dolls It's because they did it on this site That's apparently too good for sex dolls to find love on it does seem that that's why they were doing it there You know what I mean? Yeah, well like it seems like that's what they that's what they try to do So they wanted your religion has to be strong enough to be able to handle that Seriously, if you're if your god can't handle two dolls getting married to each other

How the fuck is it gonna deal with all the wars? There's a lot of other stuff out there a lot of other stuff So as I'm concerned or maybe I'm crazy Maybe this whole fucking world's gone mad kissle. And maybe it's just you and I That are the last sane men left What if that's true? It's just you and me on an island Fucking each other. Ah, yes. No, you never we couldn't figure out how to make the food And so we just have to fucking fucking till we died. Oh, I could make some food. I'll make some conch Well, you honestly conch is very difficult because it's very easy to dry out and the shells are very big

That's a toss-up question a man with a micro penis or a man with a penis that looks like a conch that can never fully get aroused Who do you want more conch? All right, because I feel like the the micro penis also sometimes it hurts your attitude It really it honestly you get really put a cramp in your style I know the the few micro penis fellas that I know they did fall into some Yeah, interesting traps. Yeah, they do get ornery and it's uh, they tend to go down some They watch a lot of videos on what it means to be a man side stories lpotl a gmail.com If you have a micro penis, I will we cherish you here. Absolutely. Also, you got a tongue

You got you got 10 fingers. Even I learned how to use two fingers use your feet Not to mention there's toys out there now. It's a fucking asshole. There's so many toys. Yeah, penis honestly I'm almost jealous of a man with a micro because you're gonna attach anything to it and you're gonna have a whole series of different sizes Oh, wow, which isn't that isn't that fun. I'm glad we got to here. Absolutely. All right. Is it time for hero of the week? I think so Okay, this week's hero of the week it's uh, it's horrible what they're doing to this man So, uh, there's a ground keeper and he works at the white house. Did I do this already? I don't know Dale Haney And he's

He's at the white house. He's been the ground keeper for 50 fucking years, right? And do you know what they gave him? What a tree? So now so he's here the week, but I just feel like also So 50 year white house ground keeper is surprised with an elm tree Uh, it was In his honor, but uh, it was like my fucking I used to have a very like, you know, like a big time agent And their big thing was that like, you know, instead of sending gifts, right? They'd always said like and so we've donated in your name to blah blah blah, and I almost want to be like Send me a gift

You know, I'll I'll do it like you got a money. You got the money to buy me a crazy gift I've made you money all year. Why don't you buy me something like fun? Instead of this like letter like I get you gave it to the the kids with fucking In backwards knees fucking foundation or whatever. That's fine. That does matter, of course, but anyway, give this man a gift You know, like I know that tree's good, but technically He's got to go water the tree. He's got to take care of the tree exactly It's like giving somebody a dog and then breaking up with them So jill and joe biden they were out there nothing else is going on. So they're out there. He doesn't know

He doesn't even know that he did this He doesn't know when he went out there and it's like he's talking to the tree just being like Hey, hope I should carry your vote. Like he has no idea. What what happened? Well He was just out in the back digging and they're like, well, let's swing this into a photo op Let's put a tree there and pretend like old uncle joe doesn't just go digging in the backyard Which actually if you were your president, why not have fun with it? It's your lawn I'd go in the front lawn every single day in the white house in my underwear

Oh, yeah, my little thing will be like you're looking at me. Hi. This is my house. I'm looking at you. This is my fucking house I would absolutely I would absolutely all day sit in a fucking folding chair out front heckling people. I just feel like you're dumb Looking fat, you know, like having fun. I just enjoy myself. I mean a man of the people indeed So anyway, people would come and high five me because they were like, I just got roasted You got roasted. President Z bought There you go. Uh, jill biden described haney as one of the most beloved people here again So they gave him a a tree for him to show he gave him a very skinny little man

And I hope that he can I hope he can talk to the skinny man because when I tried to that little man wouldn't answer me Wouldn't answer me And to give a little self-worth here on haney He says haney told the president that the elm tree will eventually provide shade So quote commander and I can sit out there this summer 50 years from now Joe joe biden is going to be long dead before that thing's making shade. It's going to be 200 years. The elm tree will live Too hot. Well, that's cool Still it's the haney tree

It did stop But the thing is is that it'd be nice. It was like making fruit or something that he could pick and then he could sell They also do the shovel. They use gold shovels, which I always think is stupid Gold is very valuable money. Well, you know what? Well good for this guy. Dale haney. There you go. Really good for this guy Absolutely. There's also a bunch of there's a dad who had a really great halloween costume as well Um, then that was that was cure and king who had de-decorated his house real good It was cool. All right All right, here we go. Let's do some listener

emails It's an email from one of the precious listeners And I said, thank you. Thank you listeners. Mm-hmm. Here we go Oh Come come come come come come. This is my ufo I was hanging out at my friend's house about 10 years ago. It was a typical night over at her house which means Sucking fucking 100. They were drinking soco and setting each other on fire. No soco. That's not what he said. Too sweet

We had a fire going in her spacious backyard with a field of corn to the back of us Her mother was hanging out with us Which was nice because she was actually one of the cooler parents I'd ever met. However, she had had a severe case of lupus And she was rarely able to go into the sun because it would trigger an immune response, right? Um, so at night was the only time she could come outside and hang with us So because wow, so she was the real batman. Yeah, she is cool mom. I mean, she's kind of forced to be night mom Yes, night mom Now we were all sitting around the fire doing typical things teenagers and parents who get a kick out of scaring

Her kids like to do sharing scary stories So I was a little spooked when the second or third round of stories came So when my friend's mom talked about seeing stuff in the sky, I was ready to leave because she had that lupus Oh Now she told us that she had seen things in the sky at night and she was positive It was a ufo now I had the chills but did not believe her But what happened next changed that No sooner did she say that and I'm not kidding. It was within 30 seconds

my friend's mother points and goes look On the horizon over the cornfield. You could see a bright white light She told us to go into the house. My friend's heavy footsteps could be heard as she sprinted inside Now I was frozen in place until my friend's mother grabbed me on a collar and said get the fuck in the house There was no objection at this point We made it to the house just in time as this thing comes up to the house in seconds through a window We saw this thing come to a dead stop from a great speed It reminded me of the way ships jump out of light speed and sci-fi shows

The thing just hovered over the backyard for what felt like hours Unfortunately, I couldn't make out any shapes or anything due to how bright this light was The thing that is extremely peculiar about all of this is that the windows to my friend's house were covered in a silver Mylar type film to keep sunlight out due to my friend's mom having lupus Oh my goodness now this light though. It was so bright it shined through the protective film I remember very specifically looking at my friend and her face being lit up Like you were shining a flashlight on her then the craft shot off like a bullet and was gone Now this story is one that I worry people will question. So as I stated previously

I don't tell people about it the fear of being dismissed because I was a teenager when it happens Or being seen as just a loon is enough to keep the story under wraps However, I felt I know that this isn't my imagination or some teenager who got wrapped up in the spooky stories because my friend's mom also saw She saw it and was so scared. She made me stay the night which wasn't allowed because I was a boy And boys couldn't have sleepovers with girls because she knew what she saw Absolutely of evidence. I needed was given to me the next day My friend and I were up all night in her couch huddled together in fear The morning came and we were still awake when her mother came out of her room

Her face neck and chest were all so red. She looked like she had had severe sunburn She had some inflammation immune response and it clicked in my head. This was from the light Shining through the window because of her lupus. No way. Oh, yeah, the light was so bright. It triggered her lupus Through the film on the windows. That's creepy. Yeah, that's kind of that's interesting, right? Absolutely That's it. No one knows who it was. They didn't know what it was. They couldn't really see the shape of it because it was far too bright All right. Well, I hope everyone had a great Halloween Hope everyone saw a ghost or a demon if you were in a shallow grave. I hope you got a couple

I hope you made something. I mean like because live your life every day trying to make sure that you It's not about victim blaming and try to be a person someone wouldn't want to bury in a shallow grave Cover yourself in soot or or human feces unable to be I want you to love life out loud Love out loud because if people see that you're too loud to be buried It might be difficult be act. All right, you're you might be an introvert But guess what introverts real easy to fucking hit the head with the shovel throw in a shallow grave because it gets so quiet I think the introverts are the ones that do that

But I'm they're the ones they're perpetrating it But the thing is is that the introverts they because they don't talk and they just sit there judging A lot of times people think that they oh, you know, they don't even understand that they're gone All of a sudden they're in a shallow grave be louder. This is what really is about it's about announcing your presence laugh loudly Oh Like laugh big laugh It is very difficult because you see that person is exuberant full of life It's going to take a couple of swings of the shovel for me to take them down

It's going to take a lot of time and all p.m For me to knock this person out because the whole time they're going to be like I'm sleepy Everybody I'm sleepy and then you find out that it gets leaked. That's the thing So act like an extrovert for camouflage But be the introvert inside of you until you know you for a factor out of a scenario where you could be buried alive Fantastic. That's right. Dom. Deleuze Judy. Tanuda never kidnapped both Judy tell you that both dead though now unfortunately love Judy. Tanuda I love Dom. Deleuze. She just she just yeah Judy. Tanuda just died. It's really sad actually Yeah, all right everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening. Hope you're doing well. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan

Congratulations everybody Well, yeah, I'll see you out there I'll see you out there Oh, not it not in that one of those suits. I hope No, it's my it's my outfit. It's my outside outfit This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com