Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Piggyback Bandit

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

The boys are back with this week's stories, but first - Henry & Eddie are joined by Marcus Parks for a huge announcement - THEN - The Bone Collector Jonathan Gerlach's worst crimes revealed, The twisted tale of The Piggyback Bandit, Famous wingsuit pilot killed after slamming into rocks next to horrified family in Cape Town, Man killed by a Bread Mixer, Listener Rav4 E-Mails, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Right from your blade. This is called a side story's cold open. Now, please prepare your listening abilities for the special guest of the day. Marcus Parks. Hey, how you doing? I'm so stupid. It's more of a cold reception than a cold open, but thank you very much. I appreciate it. That's very nice of you.

Yes, it is a cold open. Yeah, I'm here today. How you doing, everybody? We're here with a good announcement. It's a good announcement. It's a good news. First of all, let's just go ahead and get it out of the way and say what we all want. I know what everyone wants to hear.

If you don't want anything to change, it won't. First of all, nothing essentially is changing, except for things that we like. A couple of things are changing. Last podcast on the left is announcing a partnership with Netflix for our video rights to the show. A partnership, not a sale. Not a sale. We are literally just leasing our bodies physically to Netflix, to be seen by you. That means last podcast on the left and side stories will now be appearing in video version on Netflix on all tiers.

Really? Yes. Yeah, Eddie. I did forget to tell you about this. I didn't even tell him. He didn't even ask why I was in the room. He didn't care. He didn't care.

That's what I love about him. I work here. He's the Winston. But to reiterate, nothing else is changing. The podcast will still be available for free. Wherever podcasts are found, all of the last stream on the left is staying exactly the same. Our deal with Patreon is exactly the same. You can still get ad-free episodes of the podcast on patreon.com.

That is still totally available to you. Except for the video podcast. Well, that's where we got an even better announcement, which is because we're taking last podcast on the left and side stories video off of YouTube and off of our Patreon, we are giving you more stuff. More content. So number one, we have a brand new serious XM show that is going to be coming out called Last Letterboxed on the left, starring Ed Larson and myself doing movie reviews. I'm going to be coming on every once in a while. He will be.

And we will be having guests. The video for that is going to be put on page. How about that? That's for you. There you go. That's one. All right. Then we have the miseducation of Ed Larson.

I'm an idiot. In which we will be making footage of Ed learning about topics that Marcus and I will be sending him ahead on so that he can catch up to our stature by the time we do a bunch of new crazy revamp series in the next coming years. That's right. And I refuse to read. So we're going to be watching documentaries. memories, movies, and I'm going to watch, and you're going to watch me watch, and then I will be like, that's stupid.

And you're going to be like, Ed's fucking learning all kinds of shit. Yeah, that's basically it. You get two new shows. One more? No. Oh, that's not it, Marcus. There's more than that. What else do I got to do? We are introducing last stream on the left after dark. Oh, yeah, that. Yeah.

So for our, truly our most beloved $25 tier subscribers over on Patreon. what you can give is actual suggestions of videos for us to show on the stream. And then it will be an exclusive to all of the Patreon users that we will then do a 20-minute user-submitted video uncut directly for you that lives on Patreon and does not go anywhere else. We'll be on YouTube. It won't be anywhere else. Only you Patreon fuckers enjoy. And that's going to be once a month.

Once a month. Yeah. Yeah, so three new shows and we're going to be on Netflix, which is fucking amazing. Because the thing is about the Netflix deal is that it's going to enable us to do so much more cool shit here at the network. We're going to be able to do new video streaming shows. Am I going to have to try harder? No, absolutely not at all. You have to do anything.

All you got to do is you got to sit right there and be your cherubic self. Also, you know what's incredible about Netflix? And I'll say this truly, none of these dumb shit YouTube. language policing. Yeah. It's all over. We don't have, we could say kill and suicide like we like. And we can say all the things without it fucking with the algorithm, all right? We're free on there to actually say all the words we'd like to say. Are you telling me I don't have to unalive myself anymore?

Not anymore. That's right. You could just commit regular suicide. It's going to be hit. All right. So again, nothing has to change. Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. So if there's nothing that you, So if you like the podcast, what you like the podcast, nothing changes. But if you want to watch us on Netflix now, if you want to watch episodes of side stories and episodes,

the last podcast on the left, on Netflix, you can do that if you have a Netflix account. And one last notification. The old episodes are staying on. Yeah. Yeah. So everything, nothing is being removed. A couple of episodes are going to be put on, the exclusive on Netflix, but not too many. There's still going to be a massive, massive backlog on YouTube.

All of that, none of that moves. So it's really just the current. series from now on. So just so you know, it's all still there for you. And now it will also be on Netflix. You know what I find it'd be very cool? It's like Netflix is obviously making a big push and they're really bringing in a lot of podcasts.

And I think that's a pretty cool thing to happen over there on Netflix. But I will say we're one of the few independent shows going there. I mean, we don't want a Tudor Horn too much. But yes, it is this is a thing that we got to negotiate. This is a thing that we, uh, that directly. helps us here at the network. And we are fucking, we're going to play this all the way down to the ball. Helps us, helps our employees, helps everybody.

So it's a damn good thing. It's very cool. It better be. And if it isn't, then we're sorry. But right now, we don't love it. We'll see you on Netflix, won't we, Marcus? Yeah, see on Netflix. All right, get back to work, you little bony piece of shit.

I'm going to. I got to go. I got a whole lot of Mordock work to do. Massal Mordalk. Yep, now. All right, back. The side stories is beginning. There's no place to escape to.

This is the lost podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. All right, we are rolling, guys. Rolling, rolling, rolling.

What? Rolling, rolling, rolling. Rolling, rolling. I feel like I would have been a perfect person to have led the talk back of interview with the vampire season three. Oh, yeah. I feel like that would have been great for you. That was called.

I was asked by my good friend Joe Randazzo. Uh-huh. Right? I'm just going to blow all this up. Go ahead. I love it. Right? And yes,

do you want to be, do you want free money to talk to all these sexy people? Yeah. Right? Because I imagine if they're in interview the vampire, the television show, I haven't watched it. Me neither. I imagine they're hot. Yes.

They better be. If they're not hot, imagine a bunch of fatties. I do. I do the vampire on the television show. Nothing. Would please. Please, can we do it?

I would probably tune in and watch it. There was a pitch that we were coming up with back in the day, right? We were in the back in the day, me and an old buddy of mine had this concept called fat vampire. I mean, this is a great idea. Why aren't we doing it? Fat vampires is hilarious to me. I am so sick. It's a part of when we did Vampire of the Masquerade.

Just like, fucking, like a Budweiser or Bloodweiser. Bloodweiser. Bloodweiser. That's amazing. Done. Yeah, look at all these attractive people I could have talked to. Assad Zaman. I don't know what he is.

Eric Bogosi and I would have shit my pants to talk to Eric Bogosier. Eric Bogosian's cool as hell. He was not going to be a part of that talk back. This is the guy that they all love. Yeah, that's handsome. He looks like Anders Breivik. Wow. Let's stop.

Yeah. But for some... That's Sad Zaman, I mean, that's a sexy neck. Yeah, but I don't know what it is about me. He's got a fucking nice neck. They're straight-up. That's a vampire. No wonder he got turned with a neck like that.

Yeah, dude. They said, Henry, no, we don't want you talking to Ray Don Chong. They said, Henry, no, we don't need you to be in the same room as Delaney. Who is that? Delaney hails, whoever that is. We don't want you in the same room as those people. She seems very kind. Which I do understand.

Why would you happen? You would have an attractive person. I would be a ringer. Yeah. If I arrived. You would make them even more attractive. I think that's the thing. Look at this, guys.

This is the way to hire me. I'll help you. Do you think it was the mustache that got you not hired? I think it was all of me. Because no one, I mean, looking at you right now, you should not be talking about this show. No effect. I think this, I'm going to say.

So when you guys are kissing each other, what are you do? When you guys are kissing each other, is that a thing that you like to do or is it just acting? I think whoever they hired was correct. On your side all the time. but I really don't think you should have gotten this job. Why did they call me?

They called me at no way. Like, do you want this job? I was just like, yeah, I'll go talk to sexy people for money. And then two days later, they went, eh, oh, sorry. Wow. Because again, they're like, well, you're real funny. And it's like, yeah.

Welcome to side stories. It doesn't matter. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. The show's going to be on Netflix. We're doing fine. We won. Then we went.

I don't know. I'll tell you what. Find out if we won another Netflix announcement. Netflix is a joke. It's going on sale on Friday. We're going to do aside stories. We are. At the Avalon.

Which is an amazing. I love that venue. It's really cool. It's like an old weird like sex dungeon. Would it be great for interview the vampire. Oh yeah. Honestly, it would have been awesome. But again, I'm giving them no help.

Yes, he can't. They're cut off. You guys are done. Cut off for me. Just heard about you? Never going to hear about you again. You just wanted to interview some vampires. That's all I wanted to do was to be in the room with the nice smelling people.

Oh, God. It is wonderful. When they all walk in together, it's all smell so good. So good. So good. You know, it's not just like us. I haven't put on Cologne since prom. Yeah. May 7th.

May 7th, we're going to be at the Avalon of doing side stories in Hollywood. 9.45 p.m. Late night show in Hollywood. Come out all part of the night. Netflix is a joke show. I'm glad they included us. Notice I didn't see my name on the poster. Neither one of us our names were on the poster.

That's fine. Or the word side stories. Not even once. But guess what? We're going to sell out and half those guys aren't. That's right. And we do an amazing show. And you're going to come and see our show because you know, if you've seen side stories live, we fucking crush it.

Come and check it out May 7th at the Avalon. In Los Angeles, 945 p.m. It's going to be fun as fuck. Just also remind everybody, yeah, Now our visuals are on Netflix, but again, nothing has changed about the podcast because you're probably listening to this on whatever way you listen to your podcast. So congratulations. You still want to use? What's a weird one?

Stereo gum. Is that, does that exist? Podcast addict. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. If you're on podcast addict, fucking put the needle in. We're here for you. Yeah, go make sure none of our listens count.

Yeah. You know, like, go over there. But honestly, take your phone or cook it on a spoon. and snapping right in there. But we just, you know, just again, we're here. We're here. Exactly the same. We're not going to change anything.

And we're going to prove that up top. Eddie, where should we start? Oh, man. I don't know. Should we say some bad words? Ass. Titties. Cunked.

Yes. Yeah, can't demotized me now. Cuck. Yeah. Try to hide our show now in the algorithm. We do have some updates. people are what there's the stolen bodies people talking about like what you could do with the stolen bodies or why whether it's a crime or not one thing i wanted to talk about was the actual crimes of jonathan

gurlack after we got the we talked about last week jonathan gurlack he uh and i would say bone enthusiast mm-hmm oddities collector technically he's a photographer professional creep professional creepest he uh he's getting the book thrown at him for countless different burglary accounts for him robbing graves. He does. Robin graves, especially those of little babies. We talked a little bit about what

makes this a crime. And I thought it was really interesting. We asked people over at the Mooter Museum. We asked like, what do they do? Because we know that they were in the middle of their repatriation process, right? Where it's the idea of trying to figure out where all the weird shit inside of their museum

goes to. And it's kind of amazing. It's like most of it, there's like, most of it, there's like no connection anymore. And there's almost no, like, they don't have anybody to call. Yeah. And so, yeah. So, I mean, how are you going to find, things been there for a hundred and something years? How are you really going to find out what happens?

They say, they say now that it's about 10% of the collection has been obtained under what we could continue to be what we would consider our modern definition of medical consent, right? And they see even 10% it might be generously high. But it is interesting that Thomas Dent Muter, when he started. the collection, he never intended for it to be widely accessible to a public audience. It was a teaching collection for his medical students. In the days before photography became widespread, and when human bodies for dissection were hard to come by, one way to show a medical student how to identify syphilis,

leprosy, cancer, you know, endlessness of all the other horrible things that are in the Moodymuseum, was to show them a wet specimen preserved in formaldehyde. It's probably better than a picture. It is, because then you can actually see it, because what we know, is that it's hard to be a doctor in a way because you have to go from the patient's descriptions of their issues. And you have to find all of these things. You have to kind of find the right way through. And sometimes you really got to feel a pancreas.

Yeah, man. If you can't slap it, what are you doing with it? What are we doing here? If I can't get my fingernails into the flesh of the kidney, I'm not learning anything. That's right. So that is what's interesting is that now they are working at the Mutum Museum. But Jonathan Gerlach, he was doing grave robbing. And we know that the Moody Museum thing, not to jump off it too fast, but it was interesting to me that they're not really taking new shit.

No, they don't want the hot stuff. They're happy with what they got. They're full. Yeah. They're very, very full. And this is also interesting about where human bodies go to. This comes from a funeral service instructor. It's not so much that someone owns the human remains after death.

They're considered quasi-property. But there's a person or persons that has the legal authority. to direct what happens to those human remains. We call them the authorizing agent. It is sometimes the next of kin that is the closest blood relative, but more often it is the surviving spouse. They direct whether disposition is by burial, entombment, or cremation, and later on they have the remains disinterred from a cemetery and move somewhere else.

They can do the only ones they can do that. Okay. But that is, again, it's like a default thing. If you don't just, if you just die and you have nobody to claim your remains, they do just sit there. Good. And so they do put them up. And a lot of people

And there's a lot of people that say like, you know, one thought kind of a theoretical thing is they said, really part of the issue of desegrating graves is this concept we have of like in the architectural world that graves are an extension of the soul. Like it's this kind of like pseudo. But if you believe in souls, they left the body long before they even got to the grave.

Yes. But there are people, this is about people saying like, what's truly wrong with destroying a tomb, which is that it's an extension of human life. That's how they view it in a way, architecturally, like artistically. Yeah, I think what he did, like,

busting up the fission up the tombs and the mausoleum area. You know, that's messed up because it's like destruction of property. Yes, and it looks nice. It does, and it's historical landmarks. And the one thing I got from a lot of people was that they, it seems that I was on the correct track, which is this is a very Bible-based. part of the United States of America.

Philly? No, where he's at. He's close to Philly. No, Jonathan Gerlach is still like, but where they are at is very religious, and that's a part of what to throw in the fucking book out of him. Fishtown? Not Fish Town. There's Joe God in Fish Town. Yeah, but he would, only because he had to.

You think he would have just given them out? Yeah, he's in Pennsylvania. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a Delco Boy. But we really wanted to talk about here what his real crimes were. Which is, to be honest, I think it's his other artistic endeavors. Are some of the single worst things I've ever heard. I actually think that this is worse than what he did.

Yes, absolutely. His crime, then his quote-unquote crimes that he was booked for. Rob, can we please play? He has music. Yeah. And I can't, this is one of those pretentious things. This is the most pretentious thing I've seen for a while. This is the title of the video.

The classroom sessions. colon, blind slash bird dash seed and three hospital stress. Quote unquote, undelivered flowers. Okay. I think the classroom sessions is the name of the sessions. Yes, yeah, that was it because he did, it probably recorded it in a classroom. Why is it all in one title?

I don't know. It's 10 years old. I know. 10 years old, 786 views. He should have been arrested for this. Whoever found this, good sleuthing. Here we go. This guy has fired from Fridays written all over.

his face. I hate this person. This is literally Jonathan Gurlake. This is the worst thing you've ever done. I can't sleep in my own bed tonight. It's still the phones. I think of mornings when I'd wait to my face lost in your hair.

Oh, God. I'll never run my fingers down your curves again. We'll feel the rush of my nerves is your lips and my chest. God, kill him. Arrest this, man. Man. Arrest this man. Arrest him. Have him taken for me. Arrest this man. It is worse than the bones.

This is way worse. That is way worse than the bones. Making fuck boy Henley music. Oh my God. Like Henley T-shirt music, you know what he mean? It's like if young blood was dried blood. Dude, if young blood was old blood. Ew.

What's his other one? Like, is it any better? No, it's called Beautiful Womb. Beautiful Woo. Oh, his band is called Blind Bird. That's the dumbest shit. Oh, okay. He's blind bird

Of your conception When your heart started beating Oh God You were made beautiful Ugh You were a most flawless creation Crucify him Every molecule in your body

Was prolessly aligned And in that womb you were made whole Do we owe him money? Is that what this is gonna do? Oh my God Absolutely not No he's in jail He can't make any money

You can't copyright this even if he wanted to Right I think the government would reject and breathing and breathing. Yeah, but this is that you copy wrong. You captured it all. He's just talking about. Beautiful womb. All right.

Shut the fuck up, bro. I wonder if. All right, that's the worst thing I've ever seen. I wonder if his wombate's got mad when he was recording that. I bet you his wombate right now is going to be really happy to hear that he's got a soundtrack that he can apply to their love making. Oh, yes.

You are one blind bird who can't see what's coming. Hey. There's one comment. It was one comment that says, crazy that this dude robs graves. You're right, damn knee, 4-1-2-1. You're correct.

It is crazy, buddy. You are not wrong. God, can you imagine just him talk rapping as he's getting absolutely plowed in the butt? Man, I am so lucky that none of my embarrassing shit I was too stupid to put it on mine. God, what did you do? What's the most?

What's the most sincere think you think you did? Oh, my God. On camera. On camera. Well, there's lots of stuff written down. Lord knows cute girls' yearbooks. Who knows what happened in there? I can imagine just you laying it slick.

Just stay like, I got her. She's going to come growing up. She's going to like it. She's like burning it right now. Live from your grave. All right. One more update was that the Department of Homeland Security, we now know, purchased a system. So last week I talked about, which I think is really funny, is how many people were like,

Henry explicitly said that we cannot beat the U.S. government. So we should not protest anymore. And I cannot. I need another rousing market speech. Another rousing positive Marcus speech in order to be able to be able to protest anymore. protest again. And I get it. I understand. I was talking last week, probably a piece of propaganda from the U.S. government about our attack of stealing the president of

Venezuela, right? Talking about the sound machine that made the guys puked. All the kinds of them pop and the guys, right? We now know that like, yes, I was saying it because I thought it was interesting. We were mostly making a point towards the parts of the section of the population in the United States of America that have big guns and think that those big guns are the things that are going to help them against the government. That's what I was talking about.

Yes, of course. I think that there are more of us than ever. So that's what you've got to do. You've got to flood the zone and we have to do general strike. That's the only thing that's going to win in the end. General strike and just be creative. Remember we're smart? I mean, looking at Minneapolis, what they're doing over there is so fucking cool.

And how they're dressed it up like ice agents and then going in and like say, imposter, imposter, and like making them all fight each other and run away. More and more. I love this shit. Jam. So cool. Jam it up. This is the idea, guys, is that this is how the people win.

They win with ideas and they win by moving. But all that being said, I don't think that the sound weapons that we saw or they talked about in Venezuela is quite what's going on. But there is something going on. There's definitely sound weapons. And I'm sure that's the perfect time for a bunch of maniacs to try out some shit they never used before. We saw it in Belgrade. We know that they use something weird in Belgrade to dispel a bunch of rioters. We know that.

We also know that in the defense, the defense department has come forward and said that they purchased a device for millions of dollars. And I guess what they say in the waning days of the Biden administration. Yeah. Saying that they had bought a thing that could fit in a backpack from Russia that could disperse a Havana syndrome-like sound that they could use for crowd disposal. Like we now know that that is a thing that they definitely did. And they purchased it for what they said was eight figures,

which could be 10 million or 99 million. That's a lot for one. It's a lot for one. I feel like they need to get one of those buy one and get half off of another. I know. Is Russia not do deals? I don't think they do deals.

Why doesn't Russia do sales? I mean, I think you just have to take. I think that's the Russia thing. I feel like with Putin and stuff like that, he could really help. You know what can help Russia's coupons? You know, it's that lack of capitalism. It's really hurting them.

That's what I've been saying to every single homeless person I see. Every single time I see them. It's your lack of capitalism that's hurting you. I'm like, that's what you got to do. You got to add more capitalism to this situation. But this is mostly just talking about how it's out there. They're using sound weaponry. I don't think it means that you can't protest anymore.

I think that you should absolutely protest. Please. I just think that it's important to remember that the U.S. government is super protective over their super secret technology and we only see a sliver of it. And now we have a melting pedophile rapist. in charge of all of it, and that guy is just using it now. And so we'll see. We'll see how it goes.

But I'm saying general strike. Yeah. If you want to do something, that's what... Does that mean we have to? I think that it does not imply to entertainers. If everyone strikes, does that mean that we stop talking, or do people need us more, then? I'm going to say that we would continue to do the show. If we do a general strike, we're going to...

What would Netflix say? They're going to be like, work till you fucking die. work do you die. I wish that you were both 20-year-old Asians I can't and I can't and I won't. I wish I could. I wish I could take you both and turn you to NBs that would work for free. There's nothing Netflix would like happier. I just want to know where we stand. Yeah, we know nowhere. You stand nowhere. And there is video evidence of these weapons.

No, I know. We talked about this. We talked about this. Yeah, this is from last year. Yes. You watched this video's crazy. No, we talked about this. It's a, it's a, it's a, sounds like the buildings are collapsing. It is a, this is a thing that they have done, We know it's out there. It is just understanding. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We've seen this video many times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, yeah, I watch it. It's crazy. It's crazy. But that's why it's just, when we do the general strike, no stories, Eddie. No stories.

That's what we'll do. Oh. Computer's gone. Just free riff. Free riff. That's Holden's time. Oh, wow. That's strike.

Oh, wow. Talk about strike. He does the show. Yeah. We'll come in. and sit here in silence. We will sit here in silence Holden does the show. I will physically be in the room on camera.

Yeah, dude. Why don't we do this, man? General strike's got to happen. It's the only thing that's going to change stuff. Understand that. Just know that. The key to that is you just have to lay down in the streets. Can't fight. That's what they want. All right, here we go. So we got more great stories. One of my... This is another really funny. This is funny. This makes me laugh.

every once in a while on side stories somebody will send in a tale that sounds innocuous at first and then you lift up the cover of it and it's wildly deep and you don't know that it got that deep one example was a couple of years ago

we covered a story of someone talking about in Edmonton Canada a guy was taking a shit and he said that a man came up from underretha stall next to him and say hey can I I buy your shit. I'm going to eat that shit. And we covered that and it turns out it was a whole thing. Okay.

Right? He's been doing it all over the place? All throughout Canada. Right? And he was just, and he's just filled with money, I guess? No. I don't think he's rich. He was the West Edmonton Mall poop eater. Oh, okay. So, but there's a new one on town. There's a new one, and part of the reason why he's, I think I'm

collecting villains. If it was diarrhea, he couldn't buy it, probably. Well, no, he'd get, whatever he could get. Okay. I don't think he was choosy, Eddie. All right. Beggers. Can't be choosers. But this next one is another example of what I would call another member of my own personal Sinister Six. All right.

The piggyback bandit. Now, this is real. This is recent. Okay. I'm an athletic trainer at a high school near a Chicago area. I provide medical coverage for all sports at my school. This past Monday, one of my athletes came to me reporting that he was injured over the weekend. He reports that he spoke.

to a male athletic trainer at the school and he received a massage to help with the pain. A couple problems here. There was an injury. I know the A.T.s at the school and they would have messaged me to let me know. Second, there are no male A.T.s at that school. Also, A.T.s don't just

give massages to make it better. That's weird. Yeah. Now, at first, I was thinking the kid might be lying to get out of practice, get sympathy, or just be done with the season. Yeah, yeah, right? We don't want to do it anymore. Figured he could be exaggerating, just not telling the whole story, whatever it happens.

And this morning, I received an email about this guy called the piggyback Bendit that has been spotted around schools in our area. Doing some research, he has been going at it since 2012. Whoa. And he is banned from high school athletics in five states. Five states.

Five states. Not even cities or counties. He took a 3,000 mile road trip doing this. He is allegedly a person with special needs, as reported by his mother, trying to get and with teams to be their water boy manager. He's known to

jump on athletes' backs for piggyback rides. Oh, so he's stealing the rides. That's why he's the piggyback He's rubbing his balls against the backs of children. Oh, there he is. And that's him right there. He's a big old boy, 240. That's too big. 240, right? He passed vulgar notes and he's offered and given massages

and he gave kids money for letting him massage them. I would never let that man massage me. You're right, he's bad at it. He's bad at it. nothing about this guy. It's like, you know what? I think he knows that around. No, I wouldn't take it again unless he pays it you first. Take the money up front. I'm confirmed

with my athletes his story. He stuck to the story of a male AT helping him out after his injury. I contacted the other school and asked them if they had a substitute to somebody helping that day. No. So now we know that he's back out there. This is the year 2026. So he's been stealing piggyback rides for 14 years. For 14 years.

It started when he was a little boy. Now, I guess it started in high school. He was the water boy for his own personal high school team. His name is Sherman Cheygan. That sounds like a piggyback bandit's name. And he looks like a guy that is a bandit for piggybacks. He looks like a piggy. That is a guy that loves rubbing his dick and balls against the smalls of the backs of children.

Is he mentally challenged? Yes. But it is showing that he is far more cunning than we thought. he would be. So in high school, he started as a water boy. All right. Um, this is was, it goes back as far as his high school days where it started where he was getting in trouble for jumping on the backs of

boys after they had gotten out of the shower. Right. Yeah, that's, he can't do that. You gotta wait a little bit. Run him dry. Run dry. Right. Yeah, yeah. He's just covered in towels. Because he's helping out. He's just going to go. I got to jump all the hosier. Hose you got to go. I'll make you dry.

I'll make you dry. I'll try. Right? So, 2012 is the first. I'm going to go. 2012 is the first time he's brought up on charges for this in which he jumps on the back of a child. So the first thing that happens is in his high school, he came back to his high school after he had graduated, insinuate himself back in the team and did it several times. And for a while, they just considered him a nuisance we got to entertain. At what point do you call him a water man?

I think no point. No point. So we'll read the note that he handed to the person too. So here we go. So what he then did is that later on, he would go, eventually, he was banned from his high school, saying you can't come to any form of athletics program. He starts going to high schools in the neighboring state, right? Learning how to do it. So he starts to understand to dress in the uniform of the traveling team.

Oh. Showing up at high schools because the traveling team in a high school is like they're away from everybody. They have one teacher with them. So he insinuates himself with the kids afterwards. Yeah, I'm the new guy. They hired me for the day. Yes. And then...

I can see a coach. You've been like, oh, good. Yeah, whatever, right? Or he's the guy that we have, right? We have to have this guy. We're using this guy. Stans out. He stands out.

I mean, you can't dress like one of the players at 45. Well, that's what he is 20. At this point, he's probably in his mid-30s. He wears like a basketball jersey in shorts again, so it's really easy for his material. You guys know, you guys know what happens to the guy? It's cats. You know what happens when you wear. basketball shirts to the strip.

Also, nobody... We don't let you in. But yeah, but... But guess what they do? They let you right into a high school sports gymnasium. They say right this way. All right, forget about this guy for two seconds. The basketball team's mascot is cats?

I think that's a general jersey. That's like a jersey he just had, dude. Cats? Cats? The Minnesota cats? Highway. Yeah, we play for the Kansas the city dogs.

Yeah, it's just dogs. Yeah, we're rabbits. We're just dogs. Rabbits. Yeah, we're the singular giraffe. Hello, welcome to the Montgomery Bay singular giraffes. Just one giraffe. So that's where it's going, again, escalates.

Yes. He goes on a 3,000, I sort of said this, 3,000 mile road trip around the country to five states. where he is systematically... Hopefully at a car and he wasn't riding some poor boy. Yo. He, uh, dude, you joke.

He used to do, he used to hitchhike. Oh, and people used to just take him. Right? Okay. And they used to, so he used to piggyback rides too.

He used to do the whole fucking thing. And he'd go and be like, yeah, you know, I'm just going from state to state just traveling. Just, just time to go. And so 2012, he got arrested.

2018, he gets arrested again. This time he gets arrested for jumping on the back of a boy. handing him a note. And in this one, when he got the note, it had $20. And he's in the note, he said, do you shit? Do you fart with that butt? I wish that you do more than just sitting and farting with that butt. Has an idea.

Have an idea. Right? Have an idea. It's a genuine question. Yes. But again, he is again, right? What else can you do with it? This is another example of a note that he gave to someone else.

So this is word for word what he wrote. $10 plus note, massage. Oh, so he's lowering his price. This is $10 for you letting me give you a massage. Thank you for letting me give you a massage. Use the money wisely. Also, I want to tell... Let me do with this.

Actually, let me take this back. Let me take it back. Yeah, get in the character. This is $10. For you letting me give you a massage. Thank you for letting me give you a massage. Use this money wisely. Also,

I want to tell you, you have a nice ass. With those pants on, use your ass wisely to fart and poop. Oh, so I heard if you wear your hat backwards, you fought more than other people. I got my hat backwards, too. You would figure as a professional piggyback rider, the backwards hat would be an obstacle that you don't want to deal with. I don't think he's thinking about that. I don't think he's thinking about that. think that he is out there, dude.

But this is like, again, I cover this. It's just been going on for 14. Whoa. This was given to someone at Disneyland. In Grad night. 14 years. How did he get into grad night? He just can go in, buddy. He has a, he legitimately. A colored shirt

and fucking confidence will get you in anywhere. You remember when we just walked into midsummer screamers going, we're press. Yeah. We press. We just walked in because we didn't get the proper lanyers. It's easy to do, guys. Things are that secure. There's a gaping hole in the White House right now.

Remind you. Wind is entering the White House right now. It is super easy. Super easy. And so... That happened to me in a P-Fod concert once. I was going to meet my buddy Danny. And I just like straight up walked all the way back to his green room.

And he's like, how did you get back here? I was like, I just walked back here. Yep. I always remember when they canceled that concert mid. It was like there was some kind of weather warning. It was during Iggy, pop set at that cruel world fest same thing where they just let all the doors open

yeah and so like me and natalie were just like with iggy pop's family like we were out there like I don't know why are he I don't know how we got here Natalie's hot enough to not be questioned like that's a thing and then we look like a producer and wife together because it's like a hot chick

and a little fat man um so this is this guy is so is he in jail or is he free and running around he's been technically he has not been picked up since 2018. But if you look up... That's not good for a piggyback bandit.

No. You've got to be picked up all the time. Uh-oh. But, dude, he's out there. He's in Indiana right now. ESPN has covered this. Yeah, buddy. He's high school sports.

That's a high school sports. You got to do this, man. Man, ESP, whenever they have to deal with real news. And so, like, when Jerry Sandusky happened, I was working at a sports part every day. They're like, so the coach of Penn State. So he used to set up the lawn chairs in a position so that he could see the kids make the left hook out of the shower and make a stopping pattern right in front of him. And stop and fade.

There's a stop and fade in front of them. Because then they can do it with plays. And it's easier for them to do it. But yeah, just know that he's out there. Sherman Oh, his horrible name. He's got a horrible name. Sherwin Cheygan.

Sheeagan. So he is out there and honestly, come on the show. Side stories, L-POTL at g-Mol.com. I'd love to talk with you about it. Because he's out of saddle on Holden. You know who else I got close to the show now, Eddie? And you'd be so happy. Besides Haddon Clark.

Oh, yes. Haddon Clark sent us a drawing of us. Haddon's right behind you. Is that his name? Yeah, Horton Clark sent us a drawing of us. Yeah, I hate this. Fresh for Netflix. Yeah.

A serial... Congrats Netflix. You know, you let fucking... You let, what's his day? Michael Bay sell his hat and Clark special over to fucking Hulu. Never again, Netflix. Michael Bay made a special about this. Oh, yeah.

How many people did he kill? Two or three. Two or three? Yeah. And look at that. He drew our faces. Godly. well. It looks

like us if we were serial killers. Exactly. It really does. We have to get it out of here. I don't want to know. He sent some of his beard as well. Yeah, that I won't touch. Each one of us, pieces of his beard, fucking coffee print hands and feet. Yeah, I won't touch that.

Apparently, he listens to the show and I hope you fucking die, buddy. He doesn't. He doesn't listen. Then how did he? Why did he carry this? A listener brought this to him. So hold on. So, hold on. So he doesn't listen. No. And a listener was like, these guys, they did a show about

you. He literally just said... I wasn't a part of that show. How did he find out what I look like? The guy pitched it at him, and then they just went, and he found a picture of you in the prison library. In the prison library? I guess. What's in there? I'm not even in last book on the left. No, he went on the internet. Oh, yeah. I bet. God knows. I'd love to see his search history.

God. So is he like, healthy? What's this deal? Are we going to... No. Is he going to get the chair? No. Is he convinced, did he get murders? What's the deal? 70 years. That's it? Yeah, but he's 73 now. Is he getting out? When did he do this? Right, can we find out what year? When is he born?

Oh, 2060. He's not getting out to 2060. 2060. Oh, he's got time. Go fuck yourself, you coward. You shitbag, dickless fuckface. Come for me. Come for Ed Larson, you bastard. I just feel like we finally made it. We finally made it. All right, here we go.

We're getting rid of this. It's not staying here. You don't know. We'll figure out. We're going to donate it to a hospital or something. You know, kids. Yeah, children's hospital. Make a wish, I would like to pick your drummers.

Can that not happen? Why is that not happen yet? Why is that what? What's? Can a make a make-o-wish kids be like, I want to meet David Buchowitz. Where is Gary Richelag? Can you bring...

Can we bring a make-a-wish child? to Gary, which way before he dies? That would be amazing. And he'd just be like, that's the, this is really one of the specialist days of my life. He's going to be so honored. I always wanted to meet the Green River,

Kiddah. That would be amazing. Jack Sino would be so angry. Drive from Northland. All right, here we go. Hang on another great story. This is a story about a workplace accident.

Mm-hmm. God, it makes me laugh. So there are people that do these things. They just jump off of shit, huh? Right? They just jump off of shit and they fly around. They act like it's the thing they're supposed to be doing. I like watching the videos.

It's a lot of fun. I think it is. I think it's one of the scariest things ever. And I think that you should really think about it when you do it. His name is Brendan Weinstein from Utah. He did the fatal thing that a wingsuit diver should, should never do, which is he never pulled up. He jumped off

this very specific. He flew all the way down to this Cape Town South Africa. Yeah. Apparently, he did none of the proper research of what he was supposed to jump. You're not supposed to. You're not allowed to do it there. Well, they say there's a way to do it, but you have to be walked through it. I have no idea how. Okay. I don't know how you walk through jumping off a cliff. Like, I don't know how you do at half speed. You know what I mean? So this guy, he's,

very experience. He's something like thousands of the top guys in the world. Yeah, thousands of hours of doing wing gliding. Essentially what he does is he's a wingsuit pilot. So he wears one of those like flying squirrel

shoots and he jumps off the stuff, right? And so he went to this place. The iconic mountain some place some places of people love to do it. And I do love that the Irish star that this story comes from is like over 50 astonished tourists descending the steep path to the peak of the

iconic 10086 mountain in Cape Town, South Africa heard the thrill seekers cries as he became aware of his pending fate. It comes after a separate horrifying incident where a woman, 27, was gang raped, stabbed 50 times, and forced to carry her intestines in her hands. What? She's just

fucking crazy. Why are we talking about that story? Who gets this shit about a guy who jumps off a cliff for fun? People's I've got to stop going to this park. That's what I'm thinking. I think the problem's the park. Cape Town's got a very high murder rate. I know. I just It's a horrible story.

They have no water there and they're killing each other. I know. I was just laughing because of these certain, how horrible it is to watch the squirrel man want to fly over this. And him saying, I'll do you one better. Like as soon as he's heard there was a story of a woman getting gang raped

and murdered by 50 people. He's like, I'm going to jump over it. And I'll capture it all on my GoPro strapped for my hair. That's exactly what they need. That'll fix it. I'll thank you, Moroni, for the idea. I'm in a bet he's Mormon. So he jumped off the thing.

He jumped off the thing. And apparently you're supposed to, there's like a very, they said that it's supposed to spread your arms. And not. There's one thing that you're definitely supposed to do. And that's fly in it. I would say it is use it to fly.

Because he jumped off and apparently it's this, they said a technical jump, which I guess means it's like there's a certain point in which you just need to pivot. Sidesawares L-P-O-T-L-G-L-G-E-Mail.com. Explain wingsuit diving.

Henry and I have actually never done it. You'd be surprised. You'd really be surprised. Henry Zabrowski, who's afraid of elevators, has not yet dawned a wingsuit. They said it was something, but they can't find one in 38 ways. Have you guys ever skydive at either one of you? I would rather, shoot me an ad.

Well, there's no reason for it. You shoot me an ad. You skydow? One time, yeah. Oh, God, it's stupid. It was scary. Of course it was scary. What are you?

The fucking piggyback panda? It was scary when I took it out of the plane. But that's one of the best parts about it was the tandem. The tainted situation. Pickyback. Pigiback in the sky. Pigyback in the sky. I feel it hardened.

Yeah, man. I would never do that. That is the dumbest shit in the face of the planet. But really, the thing that, was the reason why, okay, the reason why I found this cruelly funny was because the reason why they don't want people jump in here is because they have all these hiking trails. And so this family was in, was on their vacation and just, it's like a cartoon.

They heard, uh, and they said the really only way to describe it is it's a splat. And this woman just was like, she watched him hit and just got black, covered in blood. The whole family covered in blood watching this dude just explode on the trail Like five feet in front of him So what happened? Did he not like zip up a wing or something? I think that's probably what happened They got parachutes in him so

He could have done a lot of stuff man Yeah but the parachute don't matter if you're like falling head first To like in a rapid rate along the side of a cliff Yeah if the parachute doesn't go off Dude yeah that'd be a real way All right not to be this guy but like isn't this like part of the thrill and part of like why they do it is because occasionally one of them dies horribly. Yeah, why would you?

You know, if it was safe 24-7. I'm not saying they deserve it or anything like that, but I'm saying isn't this why they do it because you almost die every time you do it? I guarantee that when guys die, it's sort of like, you know what I always heard about gambling addicts that they say about with gambling addicts? It's actually the losing that keeps you in is that in a way where like, yeah, like the minimum, like the win.

that give you the adrenaline high that kind of like are the tent poles of the whole thing. But sometimes there's a perverse like Norm McDonald talk about the idea of he would describe the freedom of losing all of his money. He'd have this freedom where he'd be like

I'm out and I just go make new money again. And he just like he considered it like a breath of fresh air. I think guys are like this where it's like when when guys other wing suit divers here other guys die.

I think it makes them want to be in. Want to do it more. Yeah, because they're like, I want to beat that guy. Kind of how I want ham more now that I know it causes cancer. The fact that ham, think about this, Eddie. Yeah. Ham is now the same level of carcinogen as a cigarette. Yeah.

How cool are cigarettes? I mean, think about this. Take it back. I mean, how cool is ham? Roll up ham. That's right. New smoke it. Cigarette.

I mean, that I will get into. I'm not smoking cigarettes. That's bad for. I just wish we could find a thing that we could also bring the Jews in on. And the Muslims. They can't have either one. They can't have that cancer. That's our cancer.

That's not their cancer. They should be allowed. They get their own cancer. Don't worry about that. Yeah. All that muzzazzazz smoke. So I found there's another workplace accident that really like it shook me to my core. This is a, yeah.

A Florida pastry chef at a kosher bakery was a. sucked in and killed by a bread mixing machine. That is fucking bad, dude. This is the type of machine it was, Henry. Look at that. That's small? You get caught in it. Your arm or your apron gets caught in it, and you get sucked in there.

You're an old man. Well, if it's, there are bigger ones than that. There are bigger ones. For sure, but I don't think it was. It's a small kosher bakery. So I imagine you got caught in one of those. You could just rip this fucking arm off? I think it ripped his arm off and he probably bled out.

Also, he still wants even saying it. They're saying that the death is being still investigated. Like someone pushed him in? No, no way. It says here, it says a friend wrote, he gave me his hand in the most difficult moments,

and that's got to be so hard now. Yeah, because he doesn't have one. But the, no, they said they do not suspect foul play. And it's misspelled. Yeah, I don't think chickens were involved at all

because that would be, he would have been making Matsubal soup. Yeah, so it's dude fucking got cut up in a fucking dome mix. Dude, that is fucking so scary. It's like such a gnarly way to fucking die. It's also like it's the stay puff marshmallow man. I never thought this thing of my ultimate tool of my pleasure would ever be the thing that killed me. I know because he probably worked with it for fucking 40 years.

But it also shows you keep your head on a swivel. Yeah. You never know where that dome machine's going to jump up and bite you. Tie that apron. I don't know. I don't know what caught him. I'm assuming it was an apron that wasn't tied. It could have been his fuckmaster,

a celebratory belt. It could have been his sash that said, ask me, I'm the rabbi. Is that them taking them out? No, I guess this happens somewhat often, people getting stuck in these bread mixing machines. Well, think about it. I mean, I don't know what was the last time you made cookies

with, like, a little one of these machines at your house? I don't have one. You don't have one? I do. And every time I see it, I put my hand in there. I'm like, this could just rip my arm off. Well, I mean, any moment. I deal with...

And that's a tiny one. Absolutely. I deal with the pure existential terror of sticking my hand in a garbage disposal about three times a week. You gotta get screens for your garbage. There's things in there. No, it's in the garbage disposal. Oh, my God, this is brutal. I don't even know if you want to say it.

Oh, yeah. Okay, I want to see how it happens. All right. It got caught in the machine. Whoa! Oh, you didn't even see anything. Whoa, yeah. Is this the actual...

This was the... That person lived or... Oh, wow. It went right into your chest. Yeah, that's fucking. be morbid, but can I see that again? Yeah, dude, it went right into her fucking chest. Oh, that's fucked.

Oh, that's how he died. Yeah. That's how he died. Cleaning it. Something like this. It's something like this. She got caught in the thing. This lady turned it on.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And it just picked, oh, that's, yeah, she's gone. She's dead immediately. She's dead immediately. That's just a rag doll. At least it happened fast. Oh, my God. No.

Oh, God. Does that lady get arrested? No. Or does that lady just get fired? Oh, man. You can't arrest them The rest of their life is haunted Oh my god

I don't know if that yeah God holy fucking shit That's horrific That is horrific Do not show that Do not make a clip of that I'm saying it now No it's for Netflix

Clip guy It's for Netflix Netflix doesn't have live death This won't be on Netflix Can we not show it on Netflix I'm pretty sure We should start off Come on some person

Dying in a bread machine Let's test them Let's test them wheels Come on let's push that motherfucker side stories comes to Netflix like next week or something so it's fine It's our last one

Yeah Oh good Last one out Yeah yeah Well Then we should probably end it We should probably end it I think that we made it

Wow we made it all the way here One listener email I wanted to Want to hit that stinger Go for Yeah Yeah here you go Are you ready Eddie Yeah

Yes Are you already Henry Yeah Yes Sure Now it's not more Listener email Oh

I like that one I like that one That's really good I like that one a lot They took some time with them Yeah I like that I call in response

Alright here we go You know I like to I'm transparent And people got issues with me That's because you can't tan Hey I'm pretty big But I'm transparent

You guys have issues with me I fucking take it right on the chin I'm not a bitch about it I take it. So I delivered some. I actually feel truly well-warranted criticism of the Toyota Rev 4. And I will still, because I owned one, I owned one, I had one. You had that and we have a CRV.

Yeah. So we know these vehicles. We know. But I'll take this criticism. Okay. Okay. I have never emailed in before, but some of the inflammatory comments made on this week's side stories episode were far too much for me.

A long-time listener to sit up. widely buy and let happen. A RAV4 is a far superior automobile than a CRV in every way and is certainly not a pussy's CRV. If anything, the CRV is a pussy's RAV4. Unbelievable. Come on.

The RAV4 is true full-time four-wheel drive and a CRV has a passive all-wheel four drive, all-wheel drive system that only sends 20% of the power to the real rear wheels. What is anyone supposed to do with 20% rear-wheel power?

get the kids the soccer practice groceries the rap four is a car for true adventurers no it's not don't ever rob a grave with a hybrid only like 10% of rap fours on the road are hybrids they're bad the hybrids are bad all right they're not good

most are extremely reliable v6 engines I have one with almost 500k miles that has taken me and my family across the country multiple times over good for you take a plane yeah I'm happy for you next time truly hope that Henry and Eddie could do better going forward as education is

secure to ignorance. I will continue to enjoy the high quality content in the last podcast and left has always put out with the hopes that there can be corrections or at least understanding going forward. I understand that you drive a rab snore. I am, see, this is all, I allowed you to have a platform.

That's what I did. Yeah, you told you. I allowed you to have a platform. I think it was tongue in cheek, right? But I will say, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know really upset. I hope they are. Imagine if they were. If they were. Well, do people get upset about far more ridiculous things, Eddie? It is kind of fun.

I actually like it when people get really mad. Me too. You know I do. You're allowed to have that RAV4, but... Yeah. Get some else. Rav it is. Grab your fuckers.

God, there's so many things here that we just... We're going to save because we have things for the series. Yeah, we have to... We've got two series coming up that we're going to save these emails for them. Yes. I'm very excited for some of this stuff. Thank you, everyone who's been sending in everything. Please keep them coming.

Come see us live. All right. We got the Netflix is a joke. Side stories on May 7th, 945 at the Avalon and Hollywood. Tickets go on sale this Friday. Come and check us out at Netflix is a joke. I want us to sell out and make all these other comics be like, who are these guys?

Why are they doing this? I don't even know what they are. They always do. It's every single time. And they're going to live every day knowing they're not going to know why our audience loves us so much. Because we all laugh and we love each other, don't we? Yes, we do. Side stories.

220. That is February 20th in Anchorage. Sold out. Too bad. You missed it. Go on fly your fucking ass up to Fairbanks. Please come to Fairbanks. Yes. We are going to be in Fairbanks, Alaska. On February 21st, we're going to have a lot of fun up there, and then we're going to see the Northern Lights afterwards. Seriously, come to the Fairbanks show. That is the farthest we've ever been from home. I've never been now, probably, I'm not coming back. No, we're not coming back to Fairbanks. I'm not coming back. This is. So if you're anywhere in the area come out, big announcement, tomorrow night at 122, we are doing this at 7 p.m.

PSD on YouTube.com slash LPNTV. Bloodbath, the LPNRPG, is doing the first ever talkback featuring the actual vampires. Oh, wow, so you do get to do this. I'm not, not.

You did it. You made the job yourself. I did. You're doing a vampire talkback On your own network No, I'm not on that show Yeah I'm not on that

Fuck them No, Mel's on that Oh Jesus Christ I'm not on that Mel's on it You're right Mel's on it Mel's on it

Check it out 7 PMPSD Entirely in character Come ask us questions It's gonna be a lot of fun It is emceed by Jared Logan We're gonna have a blast We're gonna have some announcements

About season two Hell yeah Very very excited Come check out version That's right. And we got more shows live for you. We're going to be in Urbana, Illinois on March 14th, Lexington, Kentucky on April 26th, Rochester, New York on May 30th, and London, Ontario, and June 28th. Also, come see me do stand-up. I'm going to be doing, we're doing Philly for last podcast on the left at the Met on the 31st of January. Come out. We are going to be awesome. It's going to be amazing. And the night before, I'm going to be doing some stand-up at City Winery in Philly. It's going to be with Kirsten Michelle Sills, who's a fucking hilarious comedian.

And Peggy O'Leary, our old, wonderful friend, God, and she's fucking hilarious. She's unbelievable. I'm so happy to share the stage with Peggy again. And then I'm going to be in San Francisco on February 18th at the punchline with Grant Gordon and the wonderful Julie Rosen. Oh, that's nice. Go check it out. We'll see you, fuckers. On the flip.

Yeah. Suckus, sucka, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck.