Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Ragdoll Husband

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's weirdest true crime stories including the woman who married a ragdoll and claims to have conceived it's child, Jeremy Corbell's new UFO footage, a South African nightclub gas attack, a drunken outburst at the Grand Floridian, stalkers getting trapped in trunks, and much MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories Guys today we want to open up with the very serious message you want to start serious I really do you think that there's no need for levity right no absolutely not super serious the opposite good that's what people want we want to talk about one of the biggest injustices that have happened this week that i that i've heard about and i've done some reading about and i've done some soul searching about and i really want to sit and i'm going to unpack it and i want to talk about it in a transparency allyship fantastic strength in numbers you know us versus them them versus us absolutely we must win this war um man is why are we what

what is it good for absolutely something it should go on a sandwich but also destination xl closes at 6 p.m. it's destination extra large that is my place yes also it's we just found this out and honestly and i know that you're just as shocked as i am and i'm actually still uh i'm still trying to process this whole thing because destination extra large extra large that's for me it closes at 6 p.m. and we all know it takes a fat man at least four hours to decide if he even wants to buy a suit and but which is ironically because the large man looks best in a suit absolutely you're gonna like the way you look because again you fill it out actually hate a suit on a little skinny guy i hate him at all flapping around like what is this a bunch of

spaghetti bunch of sheets of pasta what is this what is this injustice i know so that's why we are starting a um we're starting a petition and i think we already got three signatures on it really um destination xl needs actually to open at 6 p.m. open at 6 p.m. close at 3 a.m. and i feel like if there's any change that we can do i know there's any way that we can be of help this is how we can do it i love destination extra large i've got to go buy a suit for eddie's wedding the nice thing is the mannequins are all man-sized they're all nice and big and they have big old packages and big old butts so it makes me feel a very cozy right at home welcome to side stories everyone i am ben my voice is back my voice is back and so hopefully soon

will the nation's voice be back absolutely that'll be great because obviously uh yeah there was other bad news this week but when it comes out today distraction we're distraction running you know i'm gonna put it this way we're running point our job is to distract that so you can take action absolutely we're out here we're creating the smoke screen uh how much calm gonna horse making the afternoon that's a small ounces probably four to twelve ounces i'm just using an example like this is a smoke screen so use this say like there's no way so you show this video to your local senator as he's laughing thinking about those two guys they tell it how it is absolutely you then can set fire to his house absolutely well let's start speaking of what's

on everybody's mind child rearing this story is kind of interesting it comes from the united kingdom i wish we could do an abortion from 300 yards with a scope well you can i believe the american sniper actually had a movie made about him for doing just that a woman she married a rag doll okay okay well uh this is this so now now she now i do i just i just want to show everyone's like oh rag doll that's sweet like that song from erasmith rag doll i think it's about a child prostitute it is very well possible which is exactly what steven tyler looks like now woman who made rag doll has made a baby rag doll uh now she's calling that her child and if you take a look at the rag doll it actually kind of looks like woody allen in the most recent interview

with alec baldwin which i want to say thank you alec baldwin well time perfectly timed interview just when the nation needed it i'm so thankful the whole time this whole this whole week i was like what is woody allen thinking he he marries these children do you know what i mean think about that how happy he must be oh good lord but the thing about he really does this rag doll woman right yeah so her name is mario merivone and marivone rocha morise uh we found this this is definitely a real article this is definitely not fake but she um the one thing i'll say about the rag doll baby looks just like the father it really does absolutely beautiful she says she fell in love and then fell pregnant uh and even claimed that she put on four pounds during the

rag doll pregnancy i don't think she needs to claim that i think that she purposely did that well i think that's kind of fun and that's one that's one great thing you gotta eat you get to eat quite a bit so not wanting to give birth out of wedlock she did arrange for a wedding to be in front of 250 family and friends let's set this up first of all also she took him into the pool um you could see right here it's absolutely so kind of way and hopefully some pictures will go up in the patreon so you can really see what the hell what it is that we're talking here so it's a good looking rag doll yeah i'm so broken uh so this woman marivone she said um to be honest she always wanted a man she always was she was sad she said the biggest problem she had is that she used to go

out to the furrow dancing nights um which is f o r r o apostrophe i don't know what the kind of dancing it is and she would always get so sad why she would go to the dances and she'd never have a partner and she'd say she'd see the other girls furrowing with the other real men i mean actual human men and she was like oh i wish that i could and so what she did was in her mother this actually came from the doll was actually put together by her mother well i have to say the doll looks like if you're a firefighter and you're going through the training exercises and you have to carry a cadaver up and down a whole series of stairs that's kind of what the doll looks like she could have gotten one of the real dolls that has a penis a face something you can touch

i do like the organic nature of this make-believe husband of hers i don't this and the husband's name is morcello and if you get it is just a body pillow with the head sewn onto it and the woman again she says the wedding was a wonderful day for me very important very emotional very emotional it rained a lot but it was wonderful well you don't want to get it all you don't want to get your rag doll husband all wet especially when he's wearing his finest rag doll suit that i'm sure he did not have to get from destination extra large he's made out of fleece he has no feet um but the man uh so she her mother made this rag doll boyfriend for her so i guess so she could then she then would take it to the dance nights i don't know whether or not maravion has a full brain

like i don't know if it's true or not i don't know if she lost some i don't know if she's had him an injury well who knows i mean no matter what she's very happy and she does have a lot of family and friends this wedding is larger than your wedding than marcus is much bigger than my wedding 250 people is absolutely insane it's a huge i'm sure unlike holden's wedding they actually got to eat all the food before the mother involved decided to cut everybody off they actually went to fucking Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon they had the sweetest wedding event all of our friends better than all they had a honeymoon that was better than all of our friends so next time you're speaking with your wife and and she's mad and you're mad at her you can say i'm slightly worse

than the rag doll husband i'm slightly worse i wish i was half the husband that morcello the fuckable body pillow i don't even think he's fuckable because he has no penis so they got together and then she said like again she says he has so many great qualities but the only downside is he is lazy he doesn't work at all but i am a warrior and i keep it going for us do you remember that movie way underrated called may oh yes the woman she made her own best friend i actually don't even consider that underrated i think that's pretty fairly rated it just has it's under scene under scene perhaps i love that film but the question is at what point does this creature become sentient at what point does this red doll i am i am on it because the ai sentient

what point does it wake up and kill this poor lonely woman literally only if her wishes come true exactly that is what she wishes it could do because that's what she said you know it's true morcello he then did get me pregnant he didn't take care of himself and he didn't use a condom oh she was it again it's on you too guys it's on you too get a vasectomy if you can get a step right rax get out he got me pregnant i took the test it was positive it was positive i couldn't believe it because he's a rag doll not real no penis never once had sex with me i'm just happy that everyone's going along with it lars and they have no choice because if not she's going to kill everybody i watched half of that movie of actually like six months ago lars and the real girl oh yeah

it's a kind of unwatchable i don't know why it's horrifying yeah well because they try to make it normal but it's not like they try to make it cute but at the same time all i see is every story we've ever covered on side stories so i do understand like on some level it was a kind of like a fun quirky idea with ryan dazzling with the sex doll that he married him but we have probably this is probably the 20th story we've covered in the history of side stories of people that this level of broken it was the other blonde white attractive actor i think that was in the movie what i don't think it was ryan dazzling i think it was uh i know for a fact i'm right dumb fuck shit hand i what i mean i think that's what his name's in swedish no it's uh it's uh it's that other

dude ryan dazzling crushed it all i do is fucking crush it well i do god he's a porn star with a pun on ryan dazzling oh i'm certain there must be everybody suck each other's dick fantastic i didn't feel the contractions in pain seeing the placenta and the umbilical cord and the blood is what made it real for me so i'm just so happy they want her to be happy and everyone is going along with it see he was here 35 minutes and he is great it really upsets me when people say that he is fake it makes me so angry at this point i'm not convinced i'm not convinced he is fake i am a woman of character my father my mother taught me to be honest to be a good person i know what was the advantage of anything i know and i'm actually very proud of you for not taking advantage of a man

and killing him and stuffing his body actually now i'm sort of feel bad for meso because sounds like she just wanted that fucking baby anyway marcella is fucking trapped he doesn't even know he has a working man's mustache he's way overwhelmed he's she trapped going to work every day he's just getting screamed at he's like i'm made of straw so please god leave me alone um but these guys vote you know what you mean this this well this is in europe i believe i think yeah i think this is might be in suit america i'm not certain but whatever just know that they're not alone they're not just there they're here too they're everywhere people that that marry their toilets they are there they're and they're viable they're running for the house of representatives yeah

marry the we really we need to need to take a close look i'm gonna take a close look at this i'd marry the microwave you always know what time it is and also you're on there pretty hot um either way this rag doll is only four pounds and uh you know or she gained four pounds there's so many people not a safe pregnancy and oh it's in ria dijanero oh well i think that's where that good it was just the idea that like because then she also has to make him fuck her you know what i mean right uh yes but she has to probably put some kind of strap on on him because again he is also remember i just want to reiterate the baby's also a rag doll baby's are ragdolls are ragdolls so it's not i'm that's how you know it's his yes yes yes if it wasn't if it wasn't a rag doll of ourselves you'd be like

who the fuck is that don't look like my baby but he would have been he'd have said it with his eyes yeah um but yeah it's yeah so just remember that again yeah the baby itself was also a ragdoll made definitely by her mother yes because it's somebody it's made out of the same material thank god absolutely well i'm just happy again her mother knows just how lonely and sad her daughter is and she's not pussy footing around no she's not saying maybe she'll find someone she said no you know what i'll do it i'm making her a man and that's what it's all about and i think that's what 2023 needs to be all about especially his action is if you out there and you see something it needs to be done don't wait for somebody else come and do it except for you to do it if you see

that your neighbor's fucking a stump in his backyard make him a woman out of a bunch of garbage drill a hole in the stump for him and then go like hey this is so you could help get al franken the nomination there you go just get him but move him move him towards it barbara the bag of leaves have fun with her and then at the end of the day when you fake killer because obviously you're a psychopath very much she just turns into mulch and then she grows into a beautiful tree and i feel at the same time though can i say that that is a bad example because only because then you start to create that positive feedback loop every single time i kill i'm helping the environment yeah but if you are killing a series of bag of leaves i think it will be fine sometimes by the

way if your children are playing in the leaves don't run over them because i hear stories about that every every fall what there's always kids playing in leaves and their dad runs over one with the car i mean i don't know it's every fall it just sounds like natural selection yeah hey you feeling comfortable in your own home on the internet that's stupid did you know that incognito mode doesn't hide your activity yeah we all know what you're doing it doesn't really matter how many times you clear your browsing history the false sense of security we know your every perverse idea every single controversial thought we know it already your internet service provider can still see every single website every single website you've ever visited and they can

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to protect yourself all right the internet is all for themselves right i use express vpn simply just because you know what honestly sick of the ads protect your online activity today with the vpn rated number one by business insider visit my exclusive link express vpn dot com slash lpotl and you can get an extra three months free on a one-year package that's exp ress vpn dot com slash lpotl express vpn dot com slash lpotl to learn more hey what's up everyone how you doing ben kissle here with henry sabrowski yeah it's me bet yeah bro henry sabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast on the left babe go out there and purchase yourself some i hope you enjoy it we have sativa we have indica and we have a hybrid and i have to tell you for my personal

experience they are wonderful super tasty live resin you really get the delicious weedy taste which is what i like and three different experiences you go to your local vape store and get it absolutely thank you all so much for supporting the show we absolutely love you can't wait to see on the road and get that vape put it in your brain and have a good time and if you want to set your favorite weed store give them a call and ask for them by name last podcast on the left it's weed hail yourselves everyone hail satan all right well i did mention mayonnaise and the reason why i did it was because of uh we what was it a month ago two months ago what i feel like we had like a month of stories about food and restaurants yes and there was a lot of people fighting over

food and killing each other over food and we also know and of all the places in the world that is the most truly the hotbed of food-based disinformation subways the very top of that because we don't know what the fucking tuna is we don't know what half that meat is also i'm a little bit upset with you because you have been informing me more of jared fogle's crimes that i thought in the innocence of my heart only involved children oh god what is this world that we live in but apparently also it involves animals yeah dogs and horses yeah i didn't know that i didn't i didn't really think it's also fucking animals i'm just so disgusted with humanity i watch documentary on about jared fogle because i never really did the deep dive into exactly what what would happen to my favorite

former fat guy who is now kind of a skinny guy but i was kind of weird looking now he's bad again um it's really bad he actually um he made a bunch he did make obviously his own child porn which is good i mean obviously definitely not good i that's that i mean i thought that's where it ended though yeah i was like he was just bad yeah but then he had a bunch of stuff where he was trying to angle to get a hold of a bunch of horses that he could fuck and like when he just gets to that point it just like what are we doing here now netflix has ads and i really think all of this is tight that in some level we're on a slippery slope to total chaos and and maybe it had something to do with that once a nation couldn't believe in their sandwich artist yeah where are we who do we

trust i think we're not on a slip i think we're on a luge we're not a bit of a total chaos so anyway in atlanta by the way there's so many great restaurants in atlanta there's so many good don't eat it subway there's so many great sandwich anyway so this atlanta customer ended up shooting dead a female worker because she put too much mayonnaise on his sandwich it's just not cool man it's just mayonnaise you scrape it off yeah just scrape off the mayonnaise also just who gives a shit mayonnaise this is where mayonnaise is the great cover up for all bad sandwiches see you and i you're written if you are at subway just douse it in mayonnaise because it's not real meat well i don't even know what the vegetables are mix it with mustard just something mustard

mayonnaise i also like it but also if you're in atlanta go to anywhere else go to the tech garanda club it's fantastic that's actually really good i was looking at this list right here that i was like mm gato is good mm so there's another gun show obviously go there mm kimmelhouse fantastic the gun show is what happened here at the subway restaurant it's very scary and so another worker she was injured so basically the shooting took place at the circle k gas station again if you're gonna eat at subway don't eat at the one in the gas station in the gas station this is what we're murdering for it's unbelievable the man is still on the run one of them was immediately rushed to the hospital again for the for the victims and that her condition remains unknown it's fucked up

so the dude is just a little bear a little bear actually looks really good there's some good food here there is some good food but this guy cafe is also really i guess he was on the go and now he's on the lamb so subway store owner willy glenn hinted that the suspect uh was a man he says it just breaks my heart to know that someone has the audacity to point a weapon and shoot someone for as little as too much mayonnaise you're right uh it does seem that uh we are kind of at this horrible place where many people are just killing each other and i just her son was in the store the victims the one of the young ladies who was killed today her son was in the store i want to go back to we need whips like we need whips again we i did this i think was 2019 was my whip

year when i had a lot i bought several whips yeah i was like we need to go back to whips i really think that like take the guns away in a way like maybe just what if there's a period of time where we could just hold like just see where we're at let anybody play with new weapons sure rafael those style i love the size yes something that takes skill to wield anybody could shoot a gun like i feel like we can challenge ourselves as a country i agree when you showed the videos of the laser that was issued from the u.s navy destroying drones um your gun is not going to stop the government from coming and taking your home no they want it the gun is there to kill unarmed employees who gave you too much mayonnaise it's not going to stop and i again we i i love seeing

guns yes but he got to be very careful yes according to the owner he says this is very unfortunate i mean there's just a whole lot of shooting and killing going on and this is just ridiculous and then he says i don't know what this world is coming to especially with our youth they seem to be so hotheaded you can fuck him first of all fuck him everybody wants to carry a gun it's all of them i blame everybody i blame all of that he also says everybody wants to scare somebody with a gun it's scary out there you know you should carry him with is a fucking picture jarred focal well that's scary that absolutely very scary because i mean like you want him to come back you want this guy to come back he's he he got far too little time in jail jelaine jis lane

man jis lane got 20 years 20 years 20 years that's a good story at least that's a little bit of tiny bit of good news at least that's funny time for her to get murdered in there well who knows what she'll do she'll probably have a good canteen and she'll be giving everyone the good rum and if you know what i mean and you know she goes uh she can dabble in the vaginal arts oh yeah she'll find herself a real beast in there she's a real riddler she can get in there and she's very uh we'll see she'll definitely be in solitary for the most of her life in jail she'll be there but i could see her yeah i could definitely see her off on herself or getting getting moitered and honestly that delay you know what are you gonna do all i know is we've got to hurry this episode up because alec

baldwin uh he's interviewing jarred i don't know how go wow yeah he's doing woody allen jarred fogle and then he's going to have a roman polanski and then i heard bill cosby and avonka trump are going to put out a makeup line i'm really excited i love i love this i love this there is another very uh there is a scary story coming out of south ifica um which is uh i guess we'll be cleared up more as time go uh time goes uh i will also be unpacking that other cult story we have two cult stories that i have to do we should do like a special like cult addition side stories where we go through all of that material which we will kind of talk about jarred lido you can you absolutely can um but in south ifrica this uh 22 21 young people they're all drinking illegally

but they were found dead inside of a uh some kind of nightclub warehouse party and no one knows why they're saying that they believe it was some form of gas attack and they don't know what that means right they witnessed a 17 year old that was there they told al jazeera that they were told that celebrities were hosting this party this is never no celebrities aren't hosting it they're just not hosting it no and so she's not going out of the house to go there uh at night but then the nightclub immediately went to capacity uh people are asked to leave and then apparently they just closed everybody inside and started spraying everybody with tear gas there's a good thing that happened where people are freaking out on the inside but we still don't

know what caused everyone's death because it did seem there are a lot of people who said they said it smelled like gasoline in there uh and we don't know what happened and i guess this is happening during a time period in south ifrica called a youth month which i actually heard that's where woody allid was uh zooming in from absolutely and of course with jared fogle emphasis on the zoo because evidently he want to have sex with animals so the bouncer was there and then he shut the door and then everyone suffocated so was this like a mayor there we don't know it's just now details are going to come out but it is one of those it's a very it's it's somewhat mysterious but also just very frightening what and we don't know what it is and they they say

they're now going to start doing toxicology reports but it's just a nothing like a mysterious mass death to start your week very strange of course it ended their lives uh one of the one of the witnesses there uh they say they smelled gas not sure if it was gas or prepper spray and then they passed out so their body was like you're not going to die today no you are going to take a nice nap when they woke up they also thought that they were the everyone thought that they were dead yes which probably kept them alive no it was very scary honestly if you wake up and you think you're dead it's actually good because it means you're not dead as you're thinking that you're dead yes okay well be careful what the fuck is what happened they don't know they literally have no

clue what happened it's really really very it's very it's very mysterious and we'll find out i imagine that it is uh so they had a uh overcrowded a bunch of teenagers inside so i imagine i'm gonna maybe go out in a little bit of a limb here yeah and say that they uh not following a lot of regulations probably a lot of safety codes that were completely fucked up i could totally see them having some form of gas leak uh and it killing everybody on the inside yeah because every single thing was not uh remotely regulated which is why i'm so glad that we and again here in america we're leading the example to really just restrict those regulations i think it's very very important to let these nightclubs be this is called freedom the only way they were

all free to go die there in some ways obviously given the history of nightclub violence here i'm not sure which is the best way to go according to ramaphosa this tragedy has made even more grave because it happened again as henry said during youth month a time which we celebrate young people advocate and advance opportunities for improved socioeconomic conditions for the youth for the youth of our nation well okay so they are 22 of them are dead no it's not good men very bad no it's very bad very scary uh there's also a revamp of the uh so jeremy corbel who is deep into the UFO world this is a little bit more my side of news a little more friendly news but also very interesting so when you saw the original that uap conference that came out like last month i believe and they

talked about this one incident that they are now trying to say uh is drones there's a part of this new movement that the u.s government is doing is trying to say like but you know how complicated all these other chinese and russians drones are sure we don't have anything like that that's for certain why would we um uh we definitely do if we do if they have it we more so um we definitely have something we give the pentagon 800 billion a year so they better have fucking something they better fucking they better something um so uh but i uh but now they're really trying to take the storyline back the met the people on this u.s navy warships they're trying to say what they saw there is no fucking way okay what they saw are drones they were swarmed by hundreds of spheres

and lights and all type of shit and they are no fucking clue what it is they're doing a government example of i know what i saw yes they're trying to say we know what we saw you can't tell us we were wrong jeremy jeremy corbel put out this video uh this was in the pacific ocean if you looked this out i i don't know how i feel about jeremy corbel because they were corbel every expand every you know you pronounce it because he is he's kind of your hipster ufo guy uh he's got a lot of hats a little big wide brim hats okay which always freak me out i don't like that i don't make me well this is sunny unless you're an actor oh yeah i mean it's too broad you don't work hard enough for the hat but he also don't trust those amish shows because none of them

are actually amish those are scams they're all scams all you need is the beard without the mustache uh but he showed this video and it's very eerie it's over the ocean and he says that you see this orb and and you swatch it dip down into the water you watch it splash it lights up and then it blip and then comes up out of the water this thing fucking freaky we don't have anything that does this trans media travel at least as far as we know there's nothing that's out uh but if you do want an example of the way things are broken down i actually found a really good youtube series it's called lato files leh to f i l e s and this guy who's a former pilot who's an f-16 pilot for 18 years chris leto he analyzes uap videos and he does his full-on breakdown about whether or not

he thinks that they are planes what did he think and he's he again it's the idea of what we have yet to conquer it seems to be within our technology we don't know if we have done that on it on in the black or but it's definitely nothing that we have seen which is something that can go into the water and come out of the water we have not really we don't have anything really like that so what he is he it's interesting watch his video on the subject it's it's it's very compelling like these naval officers they're all just saying like don't call us fucking crazy we fill that all of this shit we all know we've watched the skies for our entire career there's still some shame isn't there in the game well it's kind of interesting i'm happy to we need a little more splash of shame i do think

you say shame i still think that this is psychological warfare i think that this is all about us either claiming this is all being like god i don't know it's reverse psychology it's gonna be like oh the rest of the chinese must have this crazy stuff meanwhile like it could very well be our stuff and that they are using that as a way to throw off the set or to brag they do that as a signal to them of being like look at our new drones are you ready for you you want to do that hot war let's get a nice warm one going all right well speaking of warfare a small update on the frog man oh it's probably fake yeah it was a 14 year old boy it's child and it also apparently was a bunch of compilated videos it might actually be entirely fake fantastic also we don't know that's

sick talk baby i'm just sick talk baby there was a uh also a texas mayor matthew mckaylor ravey he's 42 um he had to resign because he tried to fuck a 14 year old so there you go on that just a quick little dip into perhaps some fucking top hat story there kind of not really is that a top hat stories i don't cover every day on the show just know who's try to have sex with a boy it would be the whole show yep because these people are disgusting also in a Bangkok hmm yeah give me a give me a couple of drinks first okay um there was some luggage and someone tried to smuggle in 109 live animals including armadillos and porcupines for what purpose i don't know this is just this for your own amusement this is to create Noah's arc but on a plane for those that don't travel uh too

much cocaine bring it math who cares who cares you can shove anything up your asshole c4 whatever but if you even think about bringing a goddamn turtle dove with you he'll arrest you'll fucking bang your head against the wall you've been a fucking concrete square absolutely blank so uh yeah anyway uh it was a 38 year old and a 24 year old the uh luggage contained 50 lizards 20 snakes two white porcupines two armadillos and 35 turtles i don't know how they thought they were going to get it through um security positive thinking i just sat and they really thought they're like look at the luggage maybe um yeah it's full animals it looks like it's full of animals maybe i think that it's kind of like what the what we are a various government people

learn i think what our government has learned is that if you just say the outrageous truth bare face if you just say the crime and just do the crime openly i think for a while they'll just think it's so stupid it's so stupid they'll just let it through that i feel like they're like what are they yeah they're gonna have all these hedgehogs in a fucking suitcase and then we're gonna be like all right i guess he's gotta go through it's his hedgehogs and then they gotta pick the one who brought him here you know i'm like porcupine that's very sad though i know well now we know the way they transport animals especially for circuses why they had to stop it in the old days is that if you wanted to have two bears in your circus you'd have to buy like 10 to 15 bears because

that's how many bears would die by the time the bears arrived for the circus back in the day you would have to have like 10 kids to keep two yes yes and that's why um and that's why they built all that though the quiver full movements and all the type of shit because the idea is to just constantly breed and breed and breed and breed and turn a woman into it into her own circus tent because her vagina and her body will have then been so shredded by all the different birds that then she can then actually everybody can hide underneath her do you think that woman with the right doll shoved it up her pussy and then had it and then and then had someone grab it out no i think that she is an absolute mad woman and i think that she pretended all like that all happened

and then her mother just brought that doll over the house so no idea what happened here with the animals i think they're just gonna kill all of them i it's very possible yes all right fantastic great story kisshole i'm just so excited i just love the news and it's just it has just been wow a roast as dark as the night perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting don't mind the red eyes he's just trying to warn you of the bridge the bridge finally from the caffeine addled brains of spring hill jack coffee and last podcast on the left bring you moth man's red eye blend yes delicious Panama beans go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today well this is kind of a positive story speaking of did you hear that alex balden's

going to join isis isis yeah he said this week he's going to be like he's so excited for this new opportunity he's doing a web series with isis the redo and harry potter yeah that murderer you know he was on the front lines he really he brought trump down a little bit um he's traumatized okay he ordered someone do you have an idea how hard it is it is hard for him that he murdered somebody i can't believe alex why you make the pain bang go gomber alex i wish or come to my boy's aim because how you say i make a fuck do you make you smile because you how you say you frown he killed that beautiful woman and then as his life goes on one would say maybe he could be like jimmy carter you can go build houses but no he's he's interviewing woody allen on instagram

someone has to someone has to sometimes there's justice in this world um in trunks of cars so well i don't even know if there's so anyway there was this woman that was murdered which is very sad well we don't know if she was murdered she's technically missing okay and that's what makes me very sad i don't know so there was a dude stalking this chick and then he died because he put himself in the trunk of her car to stalk or his car whatever either way he's dead in the trunk of a car because he's a fucking asshole well it just fucked up because it's very um it's a it's a fucked up story it's this woman jimmy michelle fraily she was missing in april 8th of 2008 she was sick and she said she had a friend that was going to take me to the hospital and it turned

out who that friend was was her neighbor uh ricky dale simon senior who was a man um who was the father of her fiance right oh and so this man who had become obsessed with her uh his his son ricky simons jr was in car was in jail uh he was incarcerated for 15 months for theft jimmy fraily she actually she had a little tattoo of his name on her ankles very sweet that type of thing but ricky dale simons uh a senior offered to drive her to the hospital and she just never came back right and so then two months later ricky simon senior because they already knew that they was like who is this guy because he was her neighbor he was the last person they knew that she was going to be around during that time period probably just killed her definitely

dead because they they found her cell phone was thrown off to the side of the road great they found but but her house was like you know her license and all the stuff were still in the house her wallet was still in the house the police is still trying to say she ran away because they don't want to do their job and then to the uh the father uh the simons senior he then uh apparently was then found later on in the trunk of king springer's car um he was he was dead of heat exhaustion um because apparently uh that was his ex-girlfriend that was his ex-girlfriend and so he became obsessed with her and he apparently what was again this is a reminder this is a reminder to make sure you hydrate he got uh he was hammered and high uh and when he

went into the trunk which is why he died in there he died in there and um she didn't notice it until it started smelling which is again it's such a horrible tuesday very casey anthony very casey anthony uh and i had some bad pizza back there no that's the that's the thing crest bad pizza back there yes he was a criminal and now they're pretty certain he had something to do um with the crime because he said that right before he was found dead he had said he told his friends that he was going to give his ex-girlfriend the surprise of her life and then showed them all a knife and um you think that somebody'd say something but then they're like that you know him he's always killing i wonder if they just felt like oh you know if he doesn't kill you know what he'll do

like like like that's his like he needs to get that out of his first that's that's the bad thing for him to do yeah but i think it's once he's killed he's not gonna pay taxes if he doesn't kill once he kills one or two women and he gets it out of his system like they just let that uh all right well there we go i guess it's time for hero of the week yeah please is there is there one uh you know i was gonna thumb and through a little bit here and uh no no um i'm gonna i'm gonna give this episode is a smoke screen like distraction i'm gonna give it to kevin ford now this man he's actually technically i wish that he didn't have to do this but he did do this so anyway he was a burger king employee okay and uh he just received two hundred and twelve thousand

dollars in donations because he never missed work in 27 years i also want to say this kevin you can miss work please miss work it's burger king but anyway you're a hero today because that's just what we're doing i guide just i'm thank you for the nuggets yep he's a 50 year old 54 year old father of four who was brought to tears when he saw his family telling uh co-host savannah gutery and craig melvin now those are television stars that uh it's the first time he's seen them in four years this story is very sad i um so so he hugged his grandkids and wiped tears from his eyes he says i haven't seen them i haven't touched my grandkids or anything why i don't know um i don't know was he allowed to please tell me he was allowed to right he was working like no i know i know he was

working but please tell me he was legally allowed to see them and it wasn't he's gonna be revealed he's on the fucking predator he's on the today's show so it's up to their producers to make it so he didn't oh i'm not taking responsibility i don't i'm not betting this motherfucker okay good he's a hero of the week yeah dude we're letting the today's show we'll put it on them so if it turns out he's a predator they did this yeah okay we didn't do this no absolutely not um yeah we also didn't get to tell the story of the man who got kicked out of the enchanted rose and the grand flirty in a disney for uh drink it too much but apparently for trying to hug a waitress a lot and then um they got mad and then he put his hands around his back and he said i'll tell you how many

expensive cars i have and then they found him later on in his hotel room with his family that'll be fun anyway so there was a go fund me page uh showing appreciation for how many years this man worked and uh so he received it from a manager in honor of his 27th year he um he received things which included things like starbucks reusable cups two bags of candy oh my god and some movie ticket vouchers oh man oh man so that 27 years of work and he got a couple of free movie two bags of candy i paid for a movie ticket in months because of the amc stubs thing you can just get free tickets fantastic yeah you can just get free tickets you don't even have to have you don't even have to work tirelessly at berkeley kingford 27 years without a single day

off to get a free movie ticket if you want well anyways so then people saw the post and then they were able to raise 200,000 or $200 for a plane ticket to allow him to come visit uh her children so you would think $200 this will he get out of the go fund me no he got $212,000 oh okay but he got 200 for a plane ticket but if you work tirelessly for 27 years you should have made that money you would think um wow yeah it's actually just horrible uh it's a horrible story yeah and that's the hero of the week that is really good so work yourself to death it's really really really good maybe you get a reusable cup a couple of bags of candy and you get to see your kids i promise to treat franando and joel better than this and madeline i promise to treat them better than this i promise

you won't have to i mean i leave you can go out of town if you need to franando you can see your family if you want to franando i'm just gonna send this and then you know what now i think what i'm gonna start sending this story around you know look what this guy did he ruined his entire life for burger king i for they don't even know his name no they don't know it doesn't matter do they made his name on the cup no this is what he said um he said i was just so grateful to have it i'm still grateful i have this i have the starbucks cup in my room so he has the 27 years i but i didn't get though at the same time though i really do thank everybody who works in those fields especially if you're working it's like if you're keeping us fed

we have to do this man we all need to eat it's really very very sad when asked by savannah guthrie again no other news going on in the world so i'm just so happy they had this on today what an important story how he managed to work for 27 years without taking a day off he said i don't know maybe i'm a robot so they kind of took his humanity from him there well if you it makes you feel any better woody allen is thinking about retiring oh he said he said the thrill is gone he says the thrill is gone and he says that he's just gonna make one more fully funded film in paris the most beautiful city in the world and then he's gonna think about retiring so yeah this guy says i i don't even know how i did it it's just something you just work you gotta feed

these kids and put them through skin and put them through school you gotta work we're not making fun of the job no making fun of the man that we're just feel i love this man i love this man i just feel like burger king probably should have been like take a day off we'll even pay just he said he never even thought about missing her day yeah he he should have thought about it once but now he's got a starbucks cup and a couple bags of candy and he can go to the movies uh god well i just want to talk about last week and their listener emails i asked for people to say what are the suspicious things that people bought at your store oh also david david spade did support him who oh great burger king worker okay good hire him also david spade did

say keep up the good work it's been 27 fucking years put down the good work put down the good work he's done enough you're done i think he's done enough fantastic um i worked as a cashier at the ben salem pennsylvania walmart i don't know if it's ben salem i don't i don't know and it's on and off from 2005 to 2012 now working the self check out one night an older man with scraggly gray hair and an unkempt beard came in with two young girls the girls wore long sleeve floral print dresses and had blonde braids that trailed to their waist definitely not dress that way that's how we know they're immediately all this they're they're captive could be a cult um they look too thin borderline malnourished they struck me as amish but the man did not something was off

about the trio he didn't seem to be their father and he had a permanent scowl the man brought pounds and pounds and pounds and pounds of dog food the girls avoided eye contact and seemed to be in general discomfort years later i saw the man's photo in the news and recognized him immediately his name was lee kaplan he was quote unquote given a 14 year old girl in exchange for money she was 18 when kaplan was arrested and then they she had already had a three-year-old child and a six-month child with him i'm convinced he was one of the girls in the wall weren't with him that day they don't know they found 12 girls age six 18 years in his home without birth certificates or social security numbers um and they don't know what the dog

food was for because they had no mention of dogs in the home oh that means he was feeding them dog food which is so fucking disgusting also it's not cheap it's not cheap but also you know when he's got the new food it's actually very tasty so lee kaplan i just googled him here uh he uh befriended an amish couple then he sexually assaulted six of their young daughters yeah man it's not good and he was sentenced to 30 to 87 years i'm gonna say gotta go with the last at least he's in jail at least oh good you know at least he's fucking jail all right but that's a that's an evil one that was an evil one yeah um when i was a teenager i cashiered at a small local grocery store uh when one day an older man using a walker came in through my line

at first i thought he had just bought a few bottles of lube but just kind of sprinkled throughout his groceries um but it turned out there was over 46 bottles of personal lubricant they just kept coming and there was no sale um and there was no there was no sale uh and after he left i reprinted his receipt and on a break my co-worker and i counted how many he got and i still think about it four years later well you know what he might just be a sketch comedian also how much loot truly i bought so much lube and unloved condoms as a sketch comedian when i was on a plane one time at the sex shop i had all we were we had an account of the sex shop in new york i know i know uh i was on a plane one time i think i was with my friend cap

and uh the stewardess told me how she has a guy come he was an hispanic fellow and uh he would lay down a uh what do you do with your shower curtain yes lube it up and then they would tussle on there i mean that's fun sure so maybe they're just doing some fun hopefully you're not renting the place because unfortunately that oil can really stain that's why you put the shower curtain down oh of course and i'm like to me again good fun good that's good fun everybody should be right that's great because then you get it at like you know because everybody's enjoying themselves uh i mean um and i'm gonna pretty every these other one that they said is actually pretty fucking another one that's kind of more sad um this is another one where a guy was asking for a way he's like i'm looking for

an ice pick and they're like okay and then he called looking for an ice pick he showed back up they're like he's like yes this is perfect you wore a trench coat and shit the woman's like oh you're not gonna use it to murder anybody and he's like no i'm a magician i then showed a couple of tricks to her and then try to get her number oh he's a magician yep okay fantastic very sharing stone uh well guys what a terrible week but yeah we have to live still yeah we do because fucking ain't it over till we're fucking dead right it ain't fucking over and that's just a new beginning doesn't it we just have to keep moving forward right we gotta love the fact that we still have a lot of fucking arrows in the quiver sure i mean there's still ways out there we gotta fight

now that's time to go to the fucking mattresses all right because we can't let this fucking we can't let a theocracy happen right because it's gonna cramp my fucking style you're gonna fight on the mattress all right i'm you it's godfather reference all right no we gotta laugh our ways to the gallows later on okay because that's how this is gonna fucking go down in the end don't shoot anyone over mayonnaise don't shoot anybody over mayonnaise please god it doesn't matter nothing matters nothing really but it does matter it kissle it does not mayonnaise not mayonnaise we gotta be better to each other we have to think outside of our own you're gonna say bun no i never know how we never i would never steal incredible logo and and catchphrase from someone

else i know all right everyone well thank you for listening hail yourselves hail sakin my good congratulations thank you to the people of canada we had an incredible couple shows yes there were so fun and it was over and toronto very good and we um and we want to wish if you're if you're here and if you care wish ed larson congratulations he's married happy marriage happy yeah i mean he's getting married so like again life continues on yeah send him a insta message yeah come on go in there send him gifts to his home sure find him throw money at him yes food throw food at him and money yeah not food because he's got to stay skinny for the wedding up until then yes he can't be swollen until yay it's looking great he's losing some elbows okay i don't think he's wearing a

girdle or anything hail me this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to the last podcast network dot com