Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Ripper's Rag

Episode Date: March 21, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: Alternative Egyptology, Jack the Ripper revelations, an update on the samurai sword-wielding girlfriend, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started You like being so close to my used underwear, that's what I call them discharged underwear I don't mind it actually it's like bullet casings. Are we is this the show? Yeah. All right. This is side stories. I'm Ben That's Henry is it this is yes. This is the show. Yeah, we're recording live From beautiful Nashville, Tennessee with a great time last night Apparently our manager is mad at me because I quote. What was that? I terrified him your big man and You dragged us to the kid rock

Donkey-honky-tonk that we went to noise we gotta go we gotta go we gotta see it's kid rocks And we went in there and it was hey, it was a donkey honky-tonk It was it is legitimate. It is legitimately your grandparents having the wildest night in the world There was so much gray bush hair ready to be unleashed Everybody was there partying and then I knew it was time to leave when the group of high schoolers showed up Then walked in there multi-generational Henry. That's not what I enjoy, but that's the kid He has 17 year olds and 70 year olds That's how powerful his music is of misguided inspiration is misguided generations

Did you but did you see the potato slices the people were eating the potato fucking skins? They look so sad Skins look sad and the people that were there look sad honestly No, the people the people did that look said the people were said but they were looking happy Which is why well because you could tell with the eyes they say that a genuine smile They are muscles that are activated underneath the eyeballs and that is how you can tell that's where good actors come in good actors Understand they can understand the fine mute Muscle reactions up in there and also psychopaths, which is why actors can't be trusted exactly because they always can portray themselves It's feeling any emotion in the world even if they're not feeling it because that's what real actors do

That's what I completely and utterly agree with that actors cannot be trusted real emotions Do actors feel what none none absolutely none because you can't get those in the way apps I completely and utterly agree with you, but we spent a lot of we had a lot of fun in Nashville last night Oh, my god, you're gonna say too much fun I went and had the Nashville hot chicken, which is you did not like this hot chicken so much What are you talking about? It was delicious. No because I went that when I met up with you You're like oh my stomach my guts. I had all the hot chicken That's technically what I wanted, but that's good. So that was a good response

Has anyone ever because this is the thing because Henry where Marcus was talking about this, too He was talking about how the hot chicken. It's too hot and he actually doesn't like it, but he eats it all the time I love Marcus, but Marcus is physically weak. I Can handle the heat much better this though? Responsibly hot okay, he says he can handle spice, but he eats one dish of Vindaloo at night This is what he did once a week in Vindaloo was super hot once a week But then he also got used to it because he gets it from one place. He eats at the same restaurants every single week They have the same day. I know what the same dish of Vindaloo

So your body begins to grow accustomed to it So he says oh, I can handle spice, but he doesn't want to step out. You don't want to push it I mean, I know this is a technically supposed to be about true crime, but today we're gonna talk about the true crime of spicy chicken We also had Chick-fil-A. I hit with the spice. This is is this technically something that needs to be recorded I don't know. I don't know, but we did stop by We are on the road right now, and we did drive when we were driving to Nashville we stopped by Chick-fil-A I don't know. We didn't say that is there that's not a controversial figure in the world of chicken. It's chicken I think most fried chicken is controversial. I think the origins of yes, if you look at the origins of Bojangles

I know for a fact oh my that they're a human trafficking I'm not sure of it in the beginnings of Bojangles. I am sure of it, and if you really sit the Colonel down and Wouldn't be like you tell me about your politics Colonel Sanders. We don't need to hear it We just eat the chicken and shut up anybody that wears a piece of fabric That's not a tie as a tie and you you corner him at 11 p.m. After he's had is his after-dinner Bourbons. Oh my god, I'll tell you a tale when this country of ours was a place You could be proud of being thawed and then you're like, okay. Thank you. Let's talk chicken was delicious Chicken was great. The chicken was wonderful, but we did have the spicy chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-A

I'm gonna say I'm just gonna say this I don't know what's going on, but I thought that was almost too spicy. Well, you know a spice king Are you used to be right? I know and you know push it like you used to push it I now would not with the spices because then I went on to Roberts over here in beautiful Nashville And you know what I had for dinner a bologna sandwich, which was the weirdest saddest bus station man Who is loaded? You are loaded with money and you are the saddest broom closet living I live out of a plastic back man that I have ever met in my life I am telling you the Roberts bologna sandwich was maybe the single greatest thing I've ever eaten in my entire life

I don't know it was so good because when I met you of course, I lost my vape So last night so anyway, there's some crime a bunch of people got killed We're gonna go through all of this shit. Well, first of all, we didn't because do we interrupt this conversation to say And now a moment of silence for New Zealand. Is that what we do here at the top of the show? I don't know I don't think I think it's a very heavy topic that I we can't even add to the conversation No, we'll talk about that on top hat I have to be more serious when talking about that massacre that was very very sad, but let's go back to the bologna sandwich So we had this is the nature of side stories the true nature of side stories

I I'm sitting there at the bar. I'm waiting for Henry and our manager who is exceptionally late all the time And I'm eating my bologna sandwich and somewhere along the way first of all I saved half of the sandwich for you disgusting. No because it was it came in two and I said sandwich It comes in halves. Yeah doesn't come in two. Well, whatever and I was waiting for you for 45 minutes No, you just went independently. We never we never coordinated the time I knew just assume everyone else should just show up wherever you roll in no got to the bar at 7 30 No, I know I had shit We had to do up until I met what did you have to do? I showered my body. Yeah, so did I it takes an hour

No, it does not. Yeah, because I get a remedy dubs grubby. You masturbated. Yes. That's not called showering So I was in Roberts listening to a fiddle player who played with Loretta Lynn Everybody in Nashville played with Loretta Lynn and they all will say that they did do not don't do not make this No, that's not what I'm saying. Okay. That's I'm not saying that she was the town carriage I'm saying that there are a lot of liars I took a picture with him on my Instagram right now. I think every musician is a potential liar Okay, anyway, so I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh, I love a bologna sandwich And I'm a little weed vape, but somehow I lost my weed vape and I was devils

I was when I saw you what that was immediately when I realized that I lost it Yeah, it was it was really the amount of sadness that you had was like was worrisome It was really really hard for me But the entire time I have half of my bologna sandwich and I'm waiting and I'm listening to the guy who played fiddle for Loretta Lynn and I'm like, oh when Henry comes I'm gonna be I'm gonna surprise him with half of a bologna sandwich What are you is going to love it? And you know what Oscar's a grouch. Am I gonna come hang? Is this what I'm gonna go hang out? It's like that's hanging out with a human dust No, because I'll save just a little bit of the flap. It was half of it

It was half of I had a full dinner and I told you I was having a full I know I know But the it was so good that I really wanted to share it with you and then you took so long that I had to eat the whole thing I don't know man I was talking about a hot chicken just because you guys all put I know for I think that hot chicken's a prank I think a hot chicken is legitimately a natural thing they do be like Let's see what these Los Angeles people do with this toxic chicken So you don't think that is it like malort what malort is to Chicago? Maybe wherever we're just kind of like laughs about it When the outsiders eat it now went to a place that was very good. They honestly the taste of it was absolutely exceptional

I'm just saying in the middle of it. I was like, why am I eating the most aggressive food in the face of the plan? No, it is delicious But it is a physical you come over but you get a buzz from me and you get a little bit of lick from that sweet Because that's what it's kind of a sweet and hot. It's very tasty. No, I know but just no one seems to like it It's a challenge to know you're crying the snots coming out was fun. The problem was this morning was anyone else Oh, of course, I legitimately almost cried this morning and I had I've had Hemorrhoids before oh, and it felt like if hemorrhoids made a pack with the devil

Let's make let's see Henry's Hot hot seat head breeze of brows. That's what I was well. That's the thing with hot chicken. That's why I think it might just be a joke I don't think anyone in Nashville actually eats it. I did not see it on kid rocks menu at the Donkey honky-tonk because donkey rhymes with honky. It was horrible Um, and I had a horrible place that was it was four stories It was like if Guy Fieri had a casino Honestly, if Guy Fieri had a casino, I would look at it every single day

But I would go look at it and go what a what a dystopian mess We've allowed ourselves to slide into see this is where we just actively disagree We do because I had a lovely drink and a nice little cocktail on a very nice God we get in Nashville and all I want to do is listen to country music, which by the way we were down in the main drag there Yeah, the strip Broadway, but then we went to the five spot, which was fucking incredible I was great, but everyone I get I get a text from the manager and he's like oh having a high-end cocktail I'm like I don't want a high-end cocktail. I'm in Nashville. I live in New York City You live in Los Angeles. Why are you going to have a high-end cocktail?

Because you just have a little light care. No, it's not you you shat blood today alcoholism Our self care. No, and so the fine and the little taste of the beautiful like I had this it was a mess gal Beautiful cocktail, but why you're in Nashville, Tennessee Why do I want and they were all hit all the bartenders were super hit there? I do what I want. No, I do what I want. You're supposed to be I know what you are. I do what I want Oh Evidently you were saying on the ride over you made fun of Cardi B and a lot of people got people got upset be careful I guess I think she has an arm. We just have to be very careful. I don't know. I have no care

But I'm just saying I don't have no cow. I do not have no care I don't but when it comes to Nashville, there's no no need for high-end cocktails You go to a country bar you drink Bud Light you drink whiskey and that is it everybody's got different life rhythms No, that's what we've learned about the three of us on the road because we're all three different stripes of the American quilt patches Stripes on the flag Stripes we're all different flavors. Oh what flavors Kessel the bottom of a Bud Light What flavor is Henry Mascara with no your flavor is a fiery butthole No, maybe yes, that's your flavor and Marcus is covered in vape juice sitting alone. He sleeps

But he loves his jewel. Also. It's not the bottom of a bud light is the top of the bud light That's we're actually the middle of the bud light. That's your that's your prime nothing No corn syrup because they really know what the drinkers of Bud Light give a shit about really pissed off a lot of Iowa farmers Okay, so I want to talk about this. Let's talk about a fucking news story Okay, should we do this thing about Jack? Of course we should okay? Well, I'm a little bit annoyed with like everyone's like my aunt was Grant was Jack the Ripper every like six months a Jack the Ripper story comes out and it's any of this true I know you like this one because evidently. He's Polish now another Polish hero in the books. It's not a hero. We don't know if it's sure or not. All right, so let's cover this apparently

Thanks to the comrade left behind at the murder of Catherine at a that is not the right I'm so it was what do you want to call it technically was it's a seed receptacle So according to NBC news Jack the Ripper has been identified Which is we've heard this a thousand times before but let's see what they say now the identity of Jack the Ripper the notorious Serial killer from the late 1800s in England may finally be known a DNA forensic investigation published this month by two British researchers quote-unquote No, they don't do put the code in this article But I'm doing that in the Journal of Forensic Science identifies Aaron Kuzminski a 23 year old Polish barber and prime suspect at the time as the likely killer

The quote Simon Steins mulched the sequences at one of the main police suspects Aaron Kuzminski said the study authored by Jari lo Helene of Liverpool John Morris University and David Miller of the University of Leeds, so I went back through Marcus's outline all right for the original show because we did eight hours of Jack the Ripper But we know when still okay for this is my one question here, so you say they have summon Simon they got they got some friends who kept it like how do we know that this is actually his DNA? It just seems a little bit this was 1888 at no point in 1888 were the dumb f

detectives being like well in a hundred and ten years from now 130 years from now people will have the technology to be able to scrape the Disgusting disease filled DNA off this rag and be like finally we understand a poll did it here I do not think that this could be Jack the Ripper We don't know for a fact that is the only piece of hard evidence that exists hard The only piece of real evidence that exists for Jack the Ripper was this piece of cloth now what they say here is that this Shawl has been kept so by a man named Russell Edwards who's 48 he bought the item of clothing in an auction in 2007 They have been researching this for 12 years

They've been scraping and scraping and scraping and scraping trying to every fleck of semen and apparently it is this man now Okay, but how do they even know that the shawl which is just I don't even like the term when it comes to what we're talking about here Why because it just seems weird that he just ejaculated on some shawl or something Well, yeah, you don't want a guy you do you hated the word come wreck. I know actually you're you're right show So I am repositioning you are very good to his naughty scarf How do we even naughty scarf is good, but how do we even know that it's frickin his okay? That is my thing is it's like this dude might have just been duped in 2006 But like oh, yes

There's just came on this hotel towel and I'm gonna be like this is Jack the Ripper So this is already this has been set for a long time. This is one of those things that was put in a crime museum It has been handed down time-to-time because Jack the Ripper is one of the most of the one of the it is if not the most famous Unsolved murder spree of all time. I agree. So these things have a gigantic microscope on it This scarf was kept in a crime museum and eventually sold to auction all this kind of shit So it has been identified as it was it was found at the scene of the murder Uh-huh, and it has just been going for a long time. So finally they're saying that they could just get the microscope Big enough to look at the spermies that are still there. There's sperm skeletons

No, this is me trying to explain this. I don't know is the microscope itself actually larger. I don't know I don't know where my tax dollars go. Why so there's a contemporary sketch of Aaron Khamiski Kuzminski. Yeah, he's looking real Polish. He's got the same mustache that I got. He's got the receding hairline He's 23 years old. Yeah, but he looks like a 90 year old oil like Barrett That's comes from the burden of knowing that you have to keep your Polish blood alive. It doesn't really make any sense He looks like soda Popinski. He was a hairdresser Now this is so he's a barber, but Marcus according Marcus originally poo pooed the idea of Kuzminski being the Jack the Ripper because according to his original outline here

Aaron Kuzminski a Polish Jew employed in London as a hairdresser, which is what Marcus said He was allegedly driven insane by solitary vices, which was Victorian code for jerking off way too much Which again, I completely couldn't I I understand as a young Polish man. You're just full of it I and well, of course all of it. It's getting it out It's better if you get rid of it But they're saying that he had spent time in an insane asylum and then they don't know whether or not basically due to Antisemitism if his name was switched out. There's like obviously many problems with this I have no clue whether or not this is actually Jack the Ripper, but they're coming out and they're they're doing their damn

Nest well to say it is can I just ask this question? Does it frickin matter? No does Jack? Why does Jack the Ripper? I understand it's unsolved It's cool that if anyone even did solve it, it will never be solved That's the whole thing with Jack the Ripper because then you'd be like well technically whatever There's no reason there's no way someone with a mustache could have committed those crimes There's just gonna be someone who's like no that's not right. I still believe that it's three killers I still believe that it is not one person I believe that they they they lumped it all together, but that's me sitting on the sidelines. I'm not on the front lines

All right, I'm back. I'm warm in the bench these researchers. This is the guy who bought a Rag Is I will buy the man who ray it is the man who kept an ancient com rag in his home That is a brave warrior true crime and then the scientist that went and scraped that com rag and sniffed it like it as Much as possible because apparently and I haven't heard this and I'm not asking anybody for sure But I'm pretty sure you can tell Polish come by taste No, I'm sure you I don't know if that's true different nationalities have come and you put them in into vials honestly

ladies and men of Of last podcast on the left and sides to worries you listeners. Tell me if you know this for certain I'm sure I'm certain that you can tell at least like this guy's exercise today Has this guy had a bunch of Kool-Aid today sort of like pornographic Mengele eugenics that you're talking about no, I'm talking about taste test I'm talking about it's like, you know, is this brand X Henry. They didn't lick the I don't know what is some filled rag. You don't know they did not lick it to be like your dad's a pole conjecture Your conjecture your conjecture or full of hot chicken. Yeah, I am and it makes me make my knees go up

I know what it did because I definitely miss my squatty potty. Do you have a squatty potty? Yeah, you do You do of course. Are you are you ten? No, it helps you uncork Your your colon at your house from the diss Natalie bought them Natalie. She's very she's very healthy. She's into health She knows she's beautiful. She knows what she's doing. So you guys have two squatty parties We have one in the my room mine I have we have two bathrooms and do you and essentially mine is an isolated toilet No, I don't step on it like a stool because that's my understanding of a squatty potty as you step on it Well, you know what I asked for when we actually had our toilets replaced and I asked landlord

Please put it in a Clydesdale model because I really want to have to hop up on it I really want to straddle it. No, it's not a stool You you sit on it and it helps your knees go up because what normal would normally say your colon still has sex with you After buying you every day every day. I don't think it's every day as every if she let me. Yeah, I Think yeah, I think you got too much hot chicken to be eating to do all that No, no, I make time to make love to my wife because that is what you got to do And I absolutely adore my wife and I miss her every minute of the day I'm sick of having you fucking fat bodied monsters in this room instead of my wife. All right. Well, I'm trying to lose weight

Thank you very much. But anyway, so that is it and I'm sure she's not here Natalie is not here to do a point counterpoint So we cannot get into that because she's not here to defend herself. What are you talking about defend herself? I'm literally praising my gorgeous wife And you're sitting here like a lone man covered in Bud Light juice stinking of bologna sandwiches Honestly, that was the best bologna sandwich. I ever had my tarot. It's how many of you had never The only one you know If you're if you're in Nashville go to Roberts eat the bologna sandwich That's what my grandfather used to eat, but he came from the Depression. Yeah, I wasn't happy when I was eating it

So this is again Jack the Ripper Aaron Kuzminski But I feel like hey Polish people they can still be dangerous and I want I want people to remember that that Everyone agrees with that I don't think no one likes Polish people because they are notably dangerous That's why they all became cops Polish people should be some of the most celebrated people on this planet Because of what they've had to be through what what they've had to go through the amount of different things They can make soup out of they the the beautiful women of Poland the beautiful the bullets just say the sturdy men of Poland They can make food out of rocks. Well, I'll tell you some people say it's misguided. Yes, some people do

Well, but rock soup has kept many people alive during the the winters of gargarsh in 1865 I don't know the spidery wins of cook likes Oh, 1792 they had to make it through those big hats on yeah, I mean hats were lost in the spider So many hats. I know I know and how many tragedies and it's it's not an easy place to be wind because you can't knock a pole over It's not possible. You could then you just deafened by the Yeah, if every Polish man standing like a hard dick in the wind I do like that the Polish have been so beaten down forever that they're just short, but again They are like you can't can't kill a weeble wobble can't kill them can't knock them over

I will not die. Well, this is a story that you might like so anyway, Jack the Ripper might be Polish. I don't know So I actually it's true. It's all I Feel like I know less about Jack the Ripper. Yeah, I feel like it's even just being like well Why is it? It just it could be cross to the clown. It could be it could be anybody freakin Busey I don't know. I want to see how many calm tests that they matched up to see like how many different coms And they put up against the Kaminsky. I also want to know like how do they know that some weird-ass other person in? The UK or in Britain or in London didn't just take that come reg and come on it again How many rags we're going around it is full of men it is full of it is full of

Fishermen all they need to do the oh Yeah, they fuck fish. Yeah, I know what I do Russell Edwards I just feel like I'm certain that he's a brave man. I feel like this is obviously maligning him I do not know it, but I can imagine at least one night He laid it out and his buddy's over like I used to do with my you know And I had mine for like when he used to have my little league friends over and I used to show him pornography We lasted for a little bit. Are you Michael Jackson? No, I was their age. I was their peer Do you used to show porno to your baseball? No, I bragged

I've told the story before I bragged because I had the hot box had the fake guy there the illegal cable box We flipped the switch father is the cop. Yes, so we got everything I everything that was evidence But then we turned on the porn I was like you guys ready and they're all like yeah And then I sit and I put on the spice channel and we sat in silence for five minutes And we're like let's put on people under the stairs Yeah, that's a good call people You could tell Russell Edwards. Maybe at some point. I was like, oh, I don't see something Or any scary and they're like

And it's like oh look at it. I can come without touching it Hey, wait a second Russell. I don't know you could come without touching it Yeah, and he just unfurls it and he's just like see this new like it's a jack-o-reaper come read shot over it Another chip that honestly it makes just now all Australian. It's fine. We're gonna be in Australia soon We cannot cannot wait fucking all right So anyway, that's all Jack the Ripper just comes down to a jism filled piece of fabric as it often does as everything does I guess okay, so this is something that might be interesting to you Henry March 11th this past Monday over

Where ham there was a UFO according to the report an oval-shaped craft was spotted in the sky for about 25 minutes in the area near mass maritime Academy and over on set Bay the reporting party who claims to have a pretty good background in Emergency communications and search and rescue operations said they saw a large round white glowing object Hovering in one spot over on set Bay. They the person estimated it was hovering about 20,000 to 30,000 feet above sea level. Do they have pictures? No, they do not but as I move on investigator I literally need like evidence. I need to go and see the thing I would what about what about the spoken word?

But what about the spoken word? This is not no low-reside in 1997. This isn't the rehearsals for rent I need someone I need like a picture. I need like some kind of presentation I know what I understand I will go and listen to the witnesses and I will go and bring my protractor and I will look at the angles And I'll take pick field pictures and do all that shit But the problem is we're looking at a level one sighting here This is not a level one level one sighting means I am not required to React up until from 72 hours up to a week. This is like an order for me to arrive

It is just a sighting with no photo evidence. So it is a level one level three. I told you this right? No, I don't we talk about in skin Walker Okay, that is because it's 72 hours 48 hours and 24 hours What you have to do the level three is 24 hours and I can only arrive next day if the sighting kills you Anyway, $600 I've given him a move on $600 and you know money well spent so the but this is the thing the person said three military jets Scrambled no he described them as possible f-15. He's just talking about planes. No, he's just saying planes No, yes planes. Okay military planes scrambled and went after the UFO approach the object Which caused it to change color from white to red before zipping around the sky before quote a rapid acceleration to the West and then

Totally disappearing from sight. That's still a level one But no, let me yes, that is still level one because it's from the witnesses standpoint But the thing is that we have to find out whether or not there are official records saying that they did scramble these jets Well, this story is on fun 107.com. I don't know that is fun 107.com I don't know if that's a real website. It might not be a real website, but the story is definitely real and So we have a level one UFO experience and Henry you need to get on the ground and start investigating this stuff I mean, I just have to wait till I do my shadow hours. We're too busy running a successful podcast I have not been able to go and do I need it's 120 shadow hours all right that I have to do

So and I have to pass the test first and I have the manual test. No, just take the test It's hours of studying. What do you have you seen the manual? No, of course, you're not you're not showed it to anyone No, I had in my home. Yeah, you refused to show it. I wouldn't know when we were seeing it I was like can I see it and you're like no no and it's like under lock and key well technically I'm not supposed to talk about the contents of the manual. I know but you do talk about it I have but lightly but there is it is thick. It's 225 pages. How long would the test take? It takes like an hour. It's a big test. Just take the test No, you got a study for the test if you pass the test you looking you can only take three times

How do you how would you fail? You can very easily fail. It's a lot of style. No, it's a lot of information But what it is science. It's literally investigation protocol. There are steps. You have to go through it's like arresting a man There are steps you have to go through there things you have to there's paperwork You have to learn you have to learn how to fill out all the paperwork the question so the test is about paperwork There is paperwork the half the book is paperwork that you have to learn that the ins and outs of so it's not It's like getting a job at the DMV. Yeah, but but it makes you horny because you're out in the field. Yeah, alright Anyway, so there you go work. Thank you. Where have what what a great? What a great explanation of my life. It's just really bizarre that you can't I think you just tomorrow just take the test

No, because I'll take it with you. Can't you are literally no help? Can't you just cheat on it? No, can't you just Google the you can yes go to a place and take the test? No, I can do it online so you can do it online. So you have to still know where it is in the book You know I mean yeah, but kids just Google No, no because none of it's publicly available. It's all secret sign the book. It is it is proprietary knowledge of move on I'm also researching move on itself move on itself. So it's got some problems It's got some messaging problems. You're gonna be the Leah Remini. What Leah Remini is to Scientology I want to do update on the story we did last week of the young man

That was stabbed by his girlfriend for playing too many video games And we there was an ending update of the response from the young man Alex Lovell. I have to say this guy I we're just gonna do hero of the week combined into update up to I hate I don't like this man I like I do not like this man, but it's true. He is in the upside-down hero of the week All right, there it is so all right, but this so this is excited. This is the first it's an update and hero I just I guess so but look at this he so this is his response. So she's gonna be sentenced on March 11th Yeah, we forgot to get to this one. I want to say thank you. I know a listener send it to me I'm trying to her name is so this gal her name is Emily Javier or Javier 31

She's gonna be sentenced most likely. She's she's facing up to 20 years, but we yeah We got it said by a listener and so this is the response that he had afterwards Uh, this piece of shit says he's not you are you know what you are victim of blaming He did he admitted to playing video games for 12 hours a day, which is yeah fear in infuriating way I know and so this is his response I was just so proud for beating the samurai. I want to be crazy lady with hate in her heart In upbeat Alex Lovell upbeat upbeat like literally no fingers anymore. No thing. No, I do think they have been reattached I hope anyway, I was able to wing chun my way to survival

I've been preparing my whole life or something like this. He so you have been waiting that you get Okay, no someone with the samurai sword first of all holding me nearly got married this weekend video gamers can't find love I do want to say that if you saw that if you if you play video games We saw that this weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony and a beautiful wedding So if you are a gamer and I love to play video games search me too. Yeah, I tighten fall too was amazing I like civilization 5 you're doing your weird dystopian god game. I like strategy games Yeah, but no you like the power of civilization. Yes, I do and it's not real it gets it out of my system You should be thankful. It's no I I live it. You should be I don't live your like version of civilization

But anyway, so this guy upbeat, but they show a picture of him here And I gotta say the happiest victim I've ever seen in my entire life. I guess so he is so thrilled I think he's just happy that he had any affection at all previously in his life And then the way that he like the fact he survived He's going to become like a superhero. I guess so but he love what four fingers man I don't know the wing Chun is a concept-based traditional southern Chinese kung fu style in a form of self-defense also known and also known as Beautiful springtime. Oh it requires quick arm movements. He got 26 times He was okay, and now again, I sympathize with this man poor Alex absolutely

I'm just gonna say I wouldn't be bragging about my quick movements. Here's some sounds of wing Chun. Okay, let's hear this This is what that guy was studying all day. No, he was playing video games all day I'm not getting any slap noises I want okay, but that guy that you're talking about like he's an expert This guy is bragging about being a defensive expert. He got stamped 26 times. I think I just was watching this on YouTube It would be like if Neo From the matrix got shot with every single bullet but one and then everyone's like wow pretty agile No, you cannot get stabbed and almost died

I didn't get hit by all of my all but you kind of did get hit. Yeah, you are stabbed 26 times It seems to me it seems to me and again at least a draw for this guy And I'm happy that she there will be some justice here because no one deserves to be stabbed 26 times But my understanding of this story is he whined to a point that she just stopped He whined if this one and I love it. I love doing what are you doing this? I don't think it was like Cod McGraw or is it Cod McGraw where he chun Wang Chun whatever I do not think it was actually that I think it was like stop stop it Wait a second. Is that the same as like?

Everybody have fun tonight. Let me see. Let me look this up. No, it is. I know that for a way No, I think that's Wang Chun. It's Wang Chun When John this is Wing Chun. Oh, it's Wing Chun. Yeah. Oh, yeah, this is the song always from the band Wang Chun Which means Yellow Bell I have no idea what the color of the bell is. I don't even care. I don't even understand So hit this dude's index fingers and middle-ring fingers all wrong nearly lopped off. No, they are reattached now Facing months of recovery. He says yep as Henry just said I was able to wing Chun my way to survival and Just really he says I've been preparing for this my whole life and I just gonna say this hero of the week also

Um update of the week and also just really a motivational story that I think we can all I think we can all get behind this guy I really do think it shows what you can possibly learn from YouTube and that if you can learn enough Yeah, just enough self-defense because I know what it is because that's why his fingers were gone The knife the samurai service coming up and he's going oh, he was swatting He was swatting back and forth because he didn't get to her because you know for the first couple of stabs His hands were still on the controller. Oh, of course. Of course. He's in the middle of a great game Maybe he's playing Metro Exodus, which by the way way overrated did not like my did did not like Metro Exodus Don't what is Metro Exodus? It's a video game that came out and it's not it's I just did not like the story whatsoever

And I put it down and I played Titanfall 2 instead. Okay, wow. I'm just I'm with you. You can play these video games I like them. I like the strategy games. I like civilization 5 I was playing Sim City for a while and I'm looking for more like that I have Tom Clancy's division to coming in hot after this tour and I cannot wait to play it Yeah, like what I did this afternoon Coming in just Absolutely Disgust experience ever had and you know what I thought afterwards because then we went and we had those fancy cocktails

And I was like I need something to like I need something to cool down the heat in my stomach So I ate a bunch of deviled eggs Which didn't do it either last night. Yeah But at the fancy cocktail place you I ate like six deviled eggs I don't even know why I wanted to call you this because I stopped from calling you this But as soon as I heard you ate deviled eggs, I wanted to say you you pedophile. No No First of all the idea that you were making fun of me no saving half of a bologna sandwich for you

Yeah, just you are just acting like an orphan. No, that's what that is Maybe Henry should try this great famous hot bologna sandwich No cold bologna sandwich You read it out of the bathroom at robert's western way or whatever that place is called It's all good, but you had hot chicken followed by deviled eggs, which I did not know yeah, dude I thought it would calm my stomach down. Yeah No, it did not I thought that that I could weaponize the yoke. Oh that is such a weird did not man Oh, right. It is very and my stomach is really very upset today

Well, if you do do crystal meth do not breastfeed evidently. This is just a quick If I'm on crystal meth, I feel like it'd be the last thing for my man. Oh, I got a pump I got a pump So a Louisiana mother is accused of killing her infant daughter by breastfeeding her while she had drugs in her system Now this is actually interesting. I want to hear from the audience on this Do you think this mother deserves to be charged with murder? Yeah, you do I feel like if you are on I mean, it's unfortunate. She was like this is very very sad She was a rest. Oh, it's very sad

She was arrested for second-degree murder in 2018 death of her six-week-old daughter summer Please begin investigating in froba this chick's name is brandy froba on August 16 2018 when she called 911 to report that her Young daughter was unresponsive Responding officers found Daisy had stopped breathing and rushed her to the hospital apparently the baby's name is Daisy Where she was pronounced dead now officers did not observe anything unusual with the child. They noticed froba was Allegedly lethargic and slurring her words. Oh, so she said that she had Drugs in her system and the baby died. I'm just gonna I you know, I don't I just don't know if this woman needs to Needs to go to prison for it. That's it. It was a mistake

I think it's one of those it's a very it's just awful. It's sad I think that it's just awful and it's the whole thing is she's She's obviously in a lot of trouble personally. Yeah, but I mean a homicide Because I mean, I just feel like that's like if you're some mistakes are so real I don't know what to say about that because there are there are mistakes that are mistakes and You should be able to come back from it, but these stakes that lead to death like these kind of things these kind of with this kind of lack Of attention to what your role is to us being this child's life. Like you obviously are gonna get punished for it I mean Natalie and I joke all the time about how like we like the fact that our daughter is a dog because we could put the dog

In a cage for six hours We have to go have fun and then everybody makes a big fucking deal if you did it with the kid Well, they're children and that's a dog. So this is what we're saying. He's very tiny. Well, he's just quite large Absolutely many loves having a whole room to herself because you could sit and sleep So when it comes to this gal authorities carried out their investigations for months speaking with witnesses and executing multiple search warrants Which allegedly revealed that in 2016 Freud was third child tested positive for opioids and marijuana Oh, so this is like a running thing with her. I guess that's what this is. Yeah, it's about she set the precedent All right, and so it's her is she has been up, but she's been that's like that movie

I think it's bad mommy. It's bad mommy movie. Well, I've seen some porn up But I do that she is a naughty mommy that is a porn I know for a certain Oh, I'm she's a naughty mommy in a way that she killed her child Well, Froba was she was provided with informational pamphlets and counseling detailing the dangers of using Nothing helps fight meth addiction like a pamphlet. I know that is the best part You just slap a pamphlet in there. They're as good as fixed. There's just the motion any infrastructure They don't need any like we don't need any of that any public outreach for people These kinds of problems. This is certainly not a dick of it of the fact that we're in a dystopian University

It's the that we're this civilizations grinding to a halt It just seems a little wild because the mugshot of this woman and maybe I'm just being like oh like oh, I Sympathetic, let me see. She's just like a normal-looking mom. She was a normal-looking mom until now I know for a fact she killed her child with She's not Casey Anthony. No, she's not Casey Anthony. She is like Yeah, Casey Anthony is obviously way more dangerous of a mommy. This is dangerous. You know this woman is just first of all She obviously has a huge rampant drug addiction. Yes, and then she does like, you know, she she got really high and she's like I want to be good mommy. No

Going to do this now, but I've read about Matthews and tell me correct me if I'm wrong But I've read a little bit about it and it seems to be it's more like we I view meth as like Oh This is more like I think today. I'm gonna take the move on test Yeah, feel responsible. Yes, you feel super responsible. Can you like I'm on it? I'm on the ball. Yeah, I'm suited But at the same time I'm a mommy mommy hat comes on now I just had my needs meth hat on I took off my needs meth hat on because smoke the math But now mommy's gonna make milk

Yeah, and then mommy has to breastfeed and then mommy has breastfeed and when it comes out blue You know that that it's bad I feel like there's a we should look at it being like if it looks like a Walter white themed latte Like it should not be going inside of a baby That's the official war on Christmas when Starbucks starts with the Walter white Themed Christmas drinks. I want to talk about you know what? There's very little nice for me being alone in a hotel room without my family honestly Like we're in your hotel room right now. This is seems pretty good

We have the exact same posters on the wall They act like this is one of those hotels to where it's like every room is a unique experience and it's like the rooms are literally Identical. Yeah, it's like if you want to live like Keith Richards, but then you realize that most of his life He's just slept. He's also been Handled very well. Yeah. No honestly all the rolling stones do that's why they're alive. They just sleep all day. They're very smart Yeah, that's exactly what you should have more sleep today exactly But I didn't I went to the gym responsible. You did go to the gym. Oh, yeah, but I can tell I want to talk about um

Sphinx is a lot older than it should be man Okay, so I knock on the door today and I first of all I try to physically attack Henry and then he tells me as an injury So I have to stop attacking him and I evidently you hurt your leg I did something at the wedding the other night. It was just dancing. I was drunk Okay, and then he tells me he sits me down and like like he is trying to tell me that I am being sold to a different family Tells me that the Sphinx is not as old the Sphinx Sphinx I should definitely be a shortened it So what seems to be the Sphinx's line?

What the hell is going on with this nonsense because I'm not even trying to deal with all this is the one It's not again. It's not a benefit of being alone in hotel room. It's that what I can do when I could sit here alone Is I bring my fucking weed in here. I fucking cheeped a whole fucking Supremco To my head last night and I sat and got into one of those accidental wormholes where I am listening to people Scream at each other about how this Sphinx should is technically 12,000 years old But it's supposed to be 6,000 years old something like this. Obviously. I am paraphrasing the nonsense But it comes down to solar flares, which we need to look out for which is George Norris biggest fear

No, I love a good soul if I kind of want a solar come and just destroy everything I could come caveman my people the bigs We are gonna do so good again. You have no skills. I have clunking skills. Yeah, sure Yeah, you're a good bruiser But you would need somebody like me the brains of the operation. You're not the brains of the I am no you You don't think I won't find you faster than you. No, I won't definitely you know you won't because I scurry I scuttle I'll hide in a rock face You honestly can't find food faster than me because I had a fucking bologna sandwich waiting for you and you didn't even get it

No, I had hot chicken and deviled eggs within 45 minutes pedophile I don't know why I do honestly think like Jerry Sandusky's favorite meal is hot chicken and deviled eggs Excellent. Now here we go Bobby. Hold still. I'm just dating. It's like a plate. It's like all over in his tiny little chest I don't know why that's okay. So anyway, so the Sphinx the Sphinx is 12,000 years old. I was obviously listening to talk of this man named Robert Scotch Okay, S C H O C H and talking about the real age of the Sphinx He was working with a man named John Anthony West now this this comes from that does this comes from the world of alternative Egyptology

Where there are people who are furious About the fact right the Sphinx might actually be 12,000 years old and the way you can tell it is from the the rock I learned a little bit about how the Sphinx the Sphinx the way the Sphinx was carved, which is very interesting is it tell me what that I saw I was researching about it and a lot of statues, right? They are built from the ground up where you get rocks and you get in you carve it out of a structure where you pile rocks up Like the pyramids were yes, but the Sphinx was dug out, right? It was dug out It's very very complicated with these giant blocks 50 tons Well, I'm obviously in a place where I started sound like I'm sort of what's his name Eddie Bravo

Like I'm starting to sound like to this world is very good But I like the idea of playing with the timelines of the planet Earth We're just so what okay, so how is it 12,000 not 6,000 what they're saying is this how do we even know it's 6,000? I don't want to be like ignorant, but how they say they even know the way it depends on just where it's at and No, the materials it was built out of and the aging that it's heard around But what they're saying is it just depends on whether or not you believe that a comet hit this earth and basically helped create a second ice age Right and the time the placement the time placements for all of these things

Well, that's a pretty well-known or pretty well thought. They're also saying that the embankment Around like the actual enclosure of the Sphinx. Okay shows a water Basically a time period when the Sahara was like a half jungle and then it glaciers grew over the Sahara all of this bullshit I don't know yet fully. I can't go through the details. I don't have an outline in front of me But it started with John Anthony West look on up on your own. It's interesting It's a good way to help you be a difficult person to talk to because we all can't agree how old the earth is then we're fucked We're doing but they're saying that a solar flare triangle a part of me a part of the The research is is that a solar flare happened that essentially fucked up

But created these gigantic super storms that destroyed basically all of human society what they're trying to say is that the Sphinx was created by an older group of Human beings that existed before the Egyptians which is now a Thought we don't know if that's no, we don't know They're saying that the Egyptians were the most ancient of our silver say and that are the so I actually don't know this Are Egyptians technically in the minds of many love like the first people well The I mean one of the groups of the most advanced of our cultures It came out of like obviously when it came out of the fertile Crescent

Civilization slowly spread from the Middle East out right this idea that we were born in Africa in the Middle East It's spread out and that eventually once we got into agriculture It started really building up our societies Egypt was like the crown jewel of those societies Okay, right and that what they're saying but they're saying that that was one line And that's all of humankind that it's been happening in this one this one shift What we're they're saying is that maybe just maybe the Sphinx I Can't stop saying it. Oh, that's it. No, and it is the Sphinx But they're saying the Sphinx being 12,000 years old is an example of there. Maybe there was a pre our

History civilization of humankind that might have also been some form of what we would say advanced But like Egyptian level advanced that was wiped out by some gigantic disaster. Cool. I agree That's it. There it is. So I why can't that be the case people are really upset about it. Why I don't know who cares Scientists care. No, scientists are just they're having fun. That's their jobs. They have to care to make that money Science the 6,000 year earth. I've heard about the 6,000 year earth for a long time. I grew up with that They're not saying that no I know but then you also you get to the whole world of the timelines could be all fucking wiggity, right? That's concept that maybe during the dark ages that technically right now. It's we say it's 2019 in the United States of

America with our calendar and the in the whatever that that Western calendar is Yeah, but we did technically make it up that it's quite possible that during the dark ages We lost like 300 years. Yeah, we lost like no one knows they did at some point everyone's like it's one I don't want to start it. All right. I guess someone had to say we're wearing shorts now Yeah, that's it. We're chopping off the bottoms of these breeches or our entire our entire Constructive time for many people is based off of the death and the birth of Jesus Christ, which is probably not a real person So the technical a the technical Age is they're saying that the shrink should be 9,700 years old. It looks great

Well, I mean, it's the Sphinx is like doing really good I I am obviously stepping a toe deep into a conspiracy world that I'm just now trying to transcribe after being fucking Absolutely fuchsia. I'd last night high in this room trying to absorb it and I will listen to some stuff today Right if you listen to a talk by Robert Schaach that he's got on new and then we use YouTube channel new realities Do you have to be filled with hot chicken, deviled eggs and weed to do it? Okay. There's no other way I know because you need the energy crack the code No, you need the protein energy. Yeah, yeah, of course get there and I'm certain it's on Gaia.com or one of those I just think it's I like the idea of like within the problem is that if we're fucking with the timeline

We know nothing time does not it's not real time keeps on 24 Hours are not real minutes or not time's construct man That's why I keep telling my old fucking boss matter because you still have to be on time for so I told my fucking boss I tell you guys this all the time because I'm notoriously late. I'm like we're European Yeah, absolutely, and then Marcus wants a fucking snap kick you in the neck every single time you do it But yeah, we are our own bosses. So guess what Henry got the day off fine They is off. We actually have a show tonight at eight. We do you should perform that first. Yeah, I can't wait Well interesting conversation about times in no way a heavy conversation that we just kind of dipped our toe into I think we solved it

I think we solved I really isn't really going to work on time But it really is like all of this like why is it 2019? I Don't know exactly. I feel like there is obviously there's gonna be something like I saw I know that that is true I know that 2019 is here for a reason that it's called 2019 for some we're just doing it to organize just so everyone can make this 2019 Just so you can organize. I mean we're doing a lot of shit. That's why I mean we're a part of a puppet world We've been controlled by the government through the the voice of the entertainment World and the entertainment system Cardi B for a long time Cardi B. It's gonna be a senator

We've already did this joke, but I also feel like we have been hypnotized by the entertainment community By using the messages delivered to them by the GOP and the DNC for a long ass time Oh my god. Well, yeah, who feeds what all I know is Hollywood. They want to keep us obedient Hollywood is the moral authority of the country and thank God for it because those people nothing those people There's no place that is just so there's no place. I believe in more and trust more than the the citizens of Hollywood Doctors and comedians are the moral beacon of this country And I to them as heroes. I agree. So anyway, I stick about it interesting conversation about the Sphinx indeed

Let us know what you think if you're an actual scientist Love to hear I honestly would love to if we do have anybody who's an alternative Egyptologists and wants to come and talk on Patreon, I will fucking talk your face off. I want to know I want to know more about this Does this which I don't think he does no, I don't think but if he did I'd love to talk to him All right. All right everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening This is live from Henry's hotel room in beautiful Nashville, Tennessee If you are in Nashville check out Roberts check out Kid Rocks Fucking dare go there

But go to any go to East Nashville East Nashville is beautiful. That's the hipster. That's more hipster area I mean quite frankly. I was a little bit. I'm not disappointed But I would have liked to hear a little bit more original country music. I honestly I'm that is true I would have liked to have heard more country music, too But the Motown Monday we went to was fucking Motown Monday last. Yeah, nothing like three Older weird-looking dudes sitting alone in a booth to really kick up a party and our manager was out there Oh, he got scoped by another dude. Oh, I know I saw like a bigger older man. Yeah Yeah, it's a big white beard. He gave him like a you want to be one of my elves. Yeah

You want to be one of my favorite elf sucky. This is sucky the elf Santa Claus is coming in town. Yeah, you never know Maybe he is Jack the Ripper. You might maybe Santa Claus is Jack the Ripper Santa Claus might as well be Jack the Ripper Santa Claus That's all I'm saying from now on Jack the Ripper. It's more like Janet the Ripper's the Santa Claus of serial killers Cuz I think he's it was never real. He's the Jesus Christ of serial killers if anyone actually died That's where you just didn't do any of the reading I am just so over Jack the Ripper. I'm like did it even happen at this point I'm like it did it did it just it just didn't maybe didn't happen the way that it said but I'll say man

Polish just got a little bit more edge in this world The round the roundest people with the with a little bit more edge. I love it live your life Yeah, like you got a Pocket full of Zantac. Oh, and you got a plate of chicken in front of you because that's why I came back I know you Zantac less you had to leave early because to take the Zantac and you were Really excited to leave you're like I gotta go take my Zantac and I was like but why are you so happy about it? He's like you were just thrilled. I got my Zantac. I know love your wife Miss your wife when you're in a hotel or Malone and know that you have nothing to grip on to nothing to hold on to in this

Life and you're just spinning on a bed. That's spinning into a fucking galaxy. Well, that's very specific towards you and laugh Cuz laughing is fun screaming it is actually little screams Because if you do one long, huh? That's that's that it's screaming. Yeah All right, everyone. We are going to see you this week We can now wait since Danny Addie were coming to your town Cleveland were coming to your town coming in Pittsburgh And I think are we if we do we have a couple of more tickets in Pittsburgh? We have like 30 tickets left in Pittsburgh if you are seriously get them right now

I'm very very excited for the show when we have some tickets left for Cleveland to yes a couple and Literally just a very very few this isn't like we haven't sold any tell people that there aren't much left So the way you said that makes it sound like that, but it's not really it really is not so just get those tickets if you Want to come we cannot wait to see you. I did forget my wrestling belt, but that's okay. I'm not gonna complain I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna be sad today. I just miss it. I miss the belt when you know I know because it makes you feel like a champion. Yep. All right, everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan Maghustalations I mean see on the road see on the road see on the road

Kits is Today we delight in the story the only path to happiness that exists in this life the story must be told And Now a brief reading from the book of burning buildings titled 14 dogs I own 14 dogs and this is how they all died Strong Anthony got sucked under a street sweeper, bristled Eilis, bristled T'Goo. Rawfoot choked on all the coins I made him swallow.

Tantam and Tampon ascended to heaven, body and all. The rest died from eating expired dog meat, but I wasn't wasting it, no sir! Don't tell me how to raise my dogs! The man sat there in his own filth, waiting to be told anything, but he was alone. It began raining outside, and he heard the location of each hole in his Swiss cheese ceiling. The sunset. He didn't like candles. Despite the soak of the rain, the filth did not subside. Months passed, and organ failure by organ failure, his body did give up.

The filth replaced each dead cell from his toes to his eyelids. So he petrified a filth statue for a forgotten Pompeii. The story must be told is a spiritual experience. And it is your life forever now. A new story is released every Tuesday. Repent and subscribe. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.