Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Suicide Pod
Episode Date: September 25, 2024Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true-crime news starting with a fresh, new UFO image from China, troubles continue for P Diddy as Jonathan Oddi interrogation resurfaces online..., a Kentucky Sheriff shoots Judge dead at courthouse, Several are arrested after American woman dies in the first use of controversial Swiss "suicide pod", man cements woman's body into his balcony in South Korea - gets caught 16 years later, a Kum & Go Masturbator in Iowa City, Listener E-Mails, and MORE! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes and get exclusive access to bonus content.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
There's no place to escape to this is the last
Side stories, yes
In time of my life
Alright great Are we rolling?
UFOs in our skies
My god the proof
It's coming rolling my friend
I can't believe you don't say the proof is in the pudding more often
I won't
As a good pud cross promo
Because that's what you're talking about right there
Is taking away from one and giving to another. Mm-hmm
Any pudding relating thoughts? Yeah pudding related themes have to stay with the pudding based show
Oh, okay, because if I waste that gold
Here there's only so much you could say about pudding. What are you talking about?
We've literally talked about putting in around pudding for
Close to dozens of hours.
Yeah.
And we're gonna continue to go.
We're doing another live stream this week.
We're gonna be eating pudding the entire time.
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank God you have three therapists.
You turn this into a pudding-based intro.
I was just trying to help you with your catchphrases.
But you don't need to.
You don't need to because you have to remember,
you've been here a year.
Yes. We talked about this. Hot year to remember you've been here a year. Yes We talked about this hot year, baby
It's been a year and so now now, you know, that's the one that second rule first rule is fucking please if I can shit first
Yeah, let me
In terms of in the bathroom second, I know but did you know that there's a shit in one and there's a piss in one
I poop I poop down both of us do does. Everybody with our undercarriages do.
And then number two.
I will say your wife had the whole bathroom
covered in her clothes today
and I couldn't poop in there.
Welcome to Hot Girl Life.
All right, let's call Hot Girl Life.
And you can poop around it, I do as well.
I know, but it was just, you know,
I felt weird pooping around all kinds of weird clothes.
That's her choice.
And it was also some of your sister's clothes as well.
That's her choice.
And I'm not saying this is directly involved in your fault.
Literally, you can shit as long as you're not shitting on them.
I love them, but these are your people.
I know you love them.
We're basically all family.
I don't know how we got here.
It is not even how I wanted to begin.
You literally can do that.
As long as you don't go to the bathroom on the clothes, that's on them for leaving it
around the poop stool.
Let's move past poopoo you you
Start in this
You did you did side stories play back the tape welcome to side stories
I'm Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing? It's just one of your anniversary
Hey one year and we're getting better at it. Mm-hmm as you can see one day one day
But I wanted to talk about one of the single clearest pieces of UFO footage
I have ever seen it is a picture this guy who is a professional slash amateur photographer who is from China
Mm-hmm. I believe his name is I can't read the name. What does this say here Rob? You go down a little bit
It's Chris Craner in
Craner in Sure Craneranian
Sure, I can't read it, but I need my glasses. This is sad
This Chinese pedographer in the city of of Chamin right now. This is on September 16th of this year
He took a bunch of pictures and he put them on
Reddit and he believed well they were on his flicker and then they ended up on reddit due to the you know, obviously our constant
obsession And then they ended up on reddit due to the you know obviously our constant obsession
His name is still exists serenium. Yeah. Oh, yeah, serenium. That's the name of the account
He took a picture of this object in the sky You didn't know what look like and I'm I swear to God it's got like racing stripes
This thing is one of the coolest single objects
I've ever seen we got the meta information all the metadata on the actual pictures
It is not photoshopped. It is not that that is just something that was in the sky that makes no sense
It is a bit photoshop. It does look photoshop, but it's not we got the metadata
How do you do that? They I saw it online sure
They showed it online, I guess this was his yes, this is his flicker
Okay, slash tick-tock. He's got this and he takes a bunch of amateur photography
And he's got a great camera
And it's there has been a lot of actually very good footage of UFOs that have popped out recently
Obviously you're gonna see a lot of it on my next
Mandate when I forced you to do that depending on whether or not I'm gonna get to the next round of Hall of Goblins
I'm an X mandate. I don't Hall of Goblins on my next mandate.
I haven't decided how I felt yet.
But this footage is really inspiring me.
This is very, very good.
And it's amazing what you can learn
because I learned not just this from Reddit,
but did you know, in year 2027, so not much time,
that's when our contract with the aliens is over.
Oh, interesting.
It was a seven-year contract.
And they respect our laws. Oh, interesting. It was a 70 year contract. And they respect our laws?
Very much so.
They're actually, they view themselves as wholly lawful.
Oh, okay.
Right, and that according to their engagement with us,
they're not supposed to,
they're not supposed to openly fuck with us.
How did they sign the contract?
I sign here. I actually think it was just a click through
No idea what I just said yes, do you know no idea but they so 2027 aliens are gonna show up
because so we've had 70 years to clean up our act and
Because we haven't what they are gonna do is fake an alien invasion
with the help of various world governments,
China, us, Russia, they're going to fake a alien invasion
with us using our hologram technology
and then they are going to show up
in order to be the good aliens
and they're going to save all of society.
This is all gonna happen.
Okay. Set your watch. How come you're just telling me about this now? Because I
just learned it today. Oh, okay. Set your watch. And so they're coming back and then
they're going to be the good aliens. Project Blue Beam breaks it wide open. If you just
type in Project Blue Beam into Reddit and you just go through every, you can just see
every man who's never touched a woman, but they have great ideas and they really are boiling down what's going on with project
blue beam which is going to be the holographic fake alien invasion the
aliens should show up as the good guys and then us with the aliens they're
gonna stop the world war they're gonna stop WW3 they're gonna know it's gonna
be a real world war that's gonna be started by the fake alien invasion
But then the real aliens are gonna show up
They're gonna end the war and then they're gonna fix everything
But we're gonna join them in tandem in a new world order style
Government with the aliens in charge with the aliens in charge of the whole thing. Oh bang. Yeah
So we're not even worried about this. Okay to this
I think Putin doesn't have any choice because I I think they're going to turn him into like
a leech.
They're going to turn him into some kind of weird experiment.
I don't know what they're going to do with him.
But I know that's bedrock real.
All right, blue beam.
So don't even worry about the election.
Well now that you told everyone, the whole deal's off.
No!
It's happening no matter what, man, because I learned secretly.
On Reddit.
You learned secretly on Reddit, but now you're telling everyone that listens to this show.
So they can be prepared.
But if they're all prepared, then no one's gonna believe the whole thing's flawed.
They need a new plan.
You see, our audience was already credulous.
So even they knew. Our audience is wise, red. You didn't know yesterday. But now I do. And I'm as smart as our audience was already credulous. So even they knew, our audience is wise, red.
You didn't know yesterday.
But now I do.
And I'm as smart as our audience.
And I know now that what's going on here is,
it's too big to stop.
And it's the real steal.
When you say hashtag stop the steal,
this is what you should mean.
Yeah, I guess it's steal the entire world.
Or according to them, they're not even stealing the entire world
It was theirs to begin with is Britain involved. I think so, but you know them
Softies yeah
But as we're watching another
interview with a
Hypnotist slash past life regressionist by the name of Dolores Cannon, I believe was
her name.
I love her films.
Which she says is she talks to people that according to yes Dolores Cannon, she talks
to move on group sometimes ever once in a while she talks to experiencers and she says
as a hypnotist.
She's dead.
She's dead now.
She died in 2014.
Yeah, so I've interviewed with her.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, but you're talking about her in present time. I saw it today. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I've the interview with her. Okay. Yeah, but you you're talking about her in present time
I saw it today. Okay. Yeah, all is brand new to me. Okay, so Dolores cannon
She goes and does past life regressions on people that have experienced
Abductions because she says that according to the intelligences that have abducted us right every once or depending on what?
Various member of the alien race it is, right, whichever type of alien it is,
what they don't, they don't mean us harm, quote unquote,
right, that what, we experience fear of the scenario
no matter what.
Fear is our strongest emotion.
According to Lorson.
I don't know, this is according to this woman.
Look at her.
She looks like she's made out of honey.
Man.
Right, she looks like she's got a big fun,
like big fun butt and she's got a big curly Barbara Bush head.
They barely have any pictures of her butt here.
Look right there.
She's a wide sitter like me.
Oh yeah.
And so Dolores Cannon, she says that because she is like an intermediary between the people
that have lost time during abductions and the entities themselves, the entities will
speak to her as a hypnotist
while in the scenario.
So they will explain things to her.
She said that mostly the problem with aliens
is that they scare us so immediately.
We get scared as soon as we are around them
that the memories that we have of the abductions
that we're not supposed to have in the first place,
we're supposed to have no memory of it,
they're way scarier than they would be
because of the way our fear of the scenario changes it and to actually the aliens are saying hey
We're not like trying to fuck with you
We're just supposed to bag 2,500 review of year to try to figure out how to make you immortal
Yeah, don't you want that because originally they were supposed to start as a mortal the human apes that were manipulated by the aliens that turned
Into us we were supposed to start as a mortal the human apes that were manipulated by the aliens that turned into us
We were supposed to never get sick
Okay
But then there was a problem because a meteorite hit us killed the dinosaurs that left a virus series of viruses on the planet Earth that they
Had already eradicated but then it re-brought the those alien viruses back to earth and that's why we get sick now
Oh, I thought we were aliens
We are aliens, but we've been here so long. We're native
like how at 10 years you become an Angelino. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was one because I've been here for
seven. I'm like, I still feel down. It's 10. Although I, um, I did have, we had an earthquake
recently and I didn't give a shit. So I kind of felt like I might've skipped three years. You're
getting there. Yeah. Like I totally was like, yeah. Yeah. The big two things about knowing you're an
angel. Another two things is that you know, I'm an angel in a zoom You're not scared of you an angel. You know is not scared of
The earthquakes ever and to they have been featured at some point in one of P diddy's many freak-off videos
Well, isn't that's New York? Yeah, I mean it's everywhere. He's Miami. It's LA
Okay, your kid was all bad boy entertainment, New York. Oh, it's everywhere
He had four walls and a camera just like Cecil B DeMille
He was making art
So we talked about Diddy last week. What's the is there an update from what we talked about last week?
The main update I have was this extremely interesting police interrogation
I saw footage of a man by the name of Jonathan Otte that was arrested in 2018 for vandalizing
I believe I'd forget which Trump property.
Like it was during his presidency
and he walked into the, I forgot,
it was like a golf club or a country club
and he fucked it all up.
He like dumped garbage all over the floors.
He put an American flag, love this guy.
He like shot it up on the inside.
Total nut bar, right?
But positive for us.
Well, you can't shoot up anything and be positive
But no, it's no one was in there. It was just a building. Yeah, I know but do what you're bringing a gun
I know everyone's angry. It's your fight, but Jonathan Addy during the middle of his interrogation
He looks like there's nothing going on behind his eyes
He looks like or so many things have happened that all of the thoughts of the exit
Yes
And so Jonathan Addy in the middle of this thing where they're trying to ask him questions about like the Secret Service is trying
To ask him stuff about you know, why is he here? Why is he here to kill Trump?
blah blah blah he goes on this long monologue about how
If you want to know something real I want to talk to you about the black illuminati and he's just they're all like, okay
and he's just they're all like, okay, and he's like I was puffed at he sex slave and
I had to have sex with him and Cassie and it was all filmed and they got me addicted to math and they got me
And so and he brought up this stuff where he brought up this one crew
Which is again, it's all been debunked all of this has been debunked that I'm about to say
But he brought it up in a weird curious way
Which was he said that p did he was a part of the, what they call the Boulay, which is the commanding
group of the Sigma Pi Phi fraternity, which is an all black fraternity that created a
secret inner group called the Boulay in 1904 that they have just even admitted is around.
So they didn't even say that it was there. And so he, he accused Sean Combs of being
one of those guys
Okay, which he's not we know that he is not a part of any of that
But it is one of those interesting things he's talked about
Which is it just made hair stick up on the back of my neck because and you know how easy that is
Yeah, oh, yeah
but I was like I was listening to his like him talk about this and
Kind of echo what we were talking about how the crimes are gonna be very very similar to Epstein
Yes, and what we're gonna see is a lot of celebrities are connected to it
And he somehow might it seems that he might have learned how to do this from some other like
Cryptic old dudes like Russell Simmons and these other guys that are now we now know that got into a lot of fucking trouble
So he's got a lot of trouble left the country. Yes. Oh, yeah horrible to be around. I met him once
He was a nightmare for human being it seemed like they are none of these guys were particularly very nice
But it what it's just wild to hear this guy say what sounds like a man talking at a bus stop
About how all of these things and he outlined all this stuff that happened inside of these various free Free golf parties to the Secret Service being like alright, buddy. That's enough
We got to get back to what we're talking about
But somebody found this they put it on law and crime the law and crime network
They found the interrogation and he is completely correct about what they are
So he either hide inside information or was in fact what he said he was. But now he is named in one of the lawsuits.
It seems like he was named in one of these pieces of paperwork that allowed them to search
Puff Daddy's house in the first place and find these so-called videotapes that they've
been hinting at that they have, which seems to feature Jonathan Otte.
So he might actually have straight up proof that what happened is real.
We're not sure yet again
Everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but it's a lot of
Smoke if there is no fire, you know, you mentioned the the comparing him to jeffrey epstein
And I think a lot of them like going after everyone in this in the in the ditty case has a lot to do with how
much bungled the fucking Epstein case was.
Because the only people arrested were Epstein and Ghislaine, right?
Ghislaine, yeah, but the thing that I will say is that I think that that might be a feature
and not a bug.
That the reason why they freak out when somebody like Epstein finally, they finally decided
to let Epstein take the heat, right the rap, which is probably hundreds of people
being involved in it.
Never mind all of the celebrities.
It's in order to make it successful.
At least two former presidents, at least all these people were directly involved with Epstein.
Royalty.
Yeah, so I could see also the suspicious circumstances of his death, which seems to either be entirely
controlled by Epstein, which I totally understand, but it's why they're putting Sean Combs in Suicide Watch. Epstein was
in Suicide Watch. But you know it sounds like they were just there. It's like they watched him commit suicide. It seemed like an
observatory. You know what I mean? Seemed to be more of a suicide auditorium for them and we might see the
same thing. I don't know because I think that Sean Combs is
Activities are going to pull in a lot of the entertainment community I think that the thing about Epstein the white Epstein had to go if he did indeed had to go was because of the politicians and
scientists and spies and all of these things he was completely connected to and then did he is just as connected I just
Don't think he's they're saying now that I think some politicians were at these freak offs all this type of shit
It sounds like it was this gigantic super fun, but also
Secret-keeping mechanism and he has been using yeah, man
I saw this new footage of a him and Bieber who looks like when he was 20 he even looks so young
He looks like such a little boy.
Yeah, he was like, how come you don't call me no more?
How come we don't hang out like we used to?
And then he was just like, oh, you're supposed to go
through my management, you know?
Yeah, he tried to be sweet or whatever when you realized,
like, no, it's because you're a fucking predator, dude,
and you're going to hand me around like I'm a basket
of Easter eggs.
Yeah. All right, and I ain't I'm a man man fuck you think scooters involved
He would have to be scooter Braun. I actually I have no idea
I mean if he's a Bieber's involved in scooters involved there was another guy too that just came out another
We're just also this this yard. No, no, it's all speculation. Well. Just so anyone knows. Except, I mean, Jonathan Otte being connected
to the search warrant,
like being connected to the investigation
is extremely interesting.
Yeah.
Because if he was just talking shit,
they would not have included him.
Yeah, why do I keep hearing Cubacote Junior's name?
Because it seems like he also might be involved.
Yeah, like he just went to the parties a lot
It was all that snow dogs money. Yeah, you know, it's hard
How is this least popular film is most popular because we never wanted to let him forget it
Yeah, because he won an Oscar and he chose to spend that collateral on a talking dogs movie
That's why notice if you his Oscar Oscar winning movie is right next to Snow Dogs.
He was in so many other films that are better films
that are not on the top.
When you just Google his name, the first thing,
it's yeah, it's Boys in the Hood,
Jared Maguire, Snow Dogs.
That's his life.
It's so crazy and he played OJ.
Oh yes he did.
Which is great effect.
Yeah, which is also going back to where I'm thinking,
kind of where my head goes with the Epstein thing is because they fucked that
Up so bad that they want to throw the book at puff daddy
Just like how when they they fucked up the OJ thing they threw the book at him for the second crime absolutely
I also think that they know that they have to yeah with pop daddy
And I also think that he's an entertainer
And I think it's easier to go after that group versus a group of politicians
And plus, you know, I think we'd be silly not to mention the straight-up racism of the government
Oh, yeah, very much straight up just just being like so excited to bust a bunch of hip hoppers. Yeah
Oh, I'm gonna get these hip hoppers because one thing that Jonathan Adi also talks about which I think is also complete rumor and conspiracy
theory Because the one thing that Jonathan Otte also talks about, which I think is also complete rumor and conspiracy theory, but it was interesting, where he was like, the ultimate goals of the
black Illuminati are to turn the hip hop industry into a giant drug trafficking like mechanism.
Just make great music.
Just make the music.
Nobody.
The drug, if the music's good enough, someone else will do the drugs.
That's the idea.
That's what you'd think.
Yeah. But they all say the same same thing which is also what every cop says
It's like because you know where there's drugs there's money and where there's money
There's guns somewhere. There's guns. There's women and where there's women there's makeup and you're like what?
How far down are we going?
But they will see obviously everything's going to come out in the wash. Yeah, but this is
This very concerning
Obviously very concerned every concern is this the it's just gonna end up being bigger than oj. I mean, it's definitely a bigger series of crimes
I'm sorry in terms of the scope, but he is yeah racketeering
his wife died
And how did Puff Daddy's wife die? Puff Daddy's wife died?
Am I wrong about that?
I think you might be right.
Didn't she have a mysterious death also?
Actually I don't know about that actually.
I don't know.
Kim Porter.
Kim Porter died from pneumonia.
Oh okay yes yes yes.
His ex-wife died of pneumonia in 47.
Oh yeah yeah.
Two like symptoms for several days after passing away in her Los Angeles home 2018
You know I imagine if you uh
Well, how's that for many for many days?
Well that wasn't her then I think by then she'd already out she was out of it
They were saying that they be all of the freak offs really started as he went into billionaire
It's like almost billionaire status man. There's just so many weird things that don't line up, you know, no, it's not good
No, it's really really not good because no one's wanted to look into this
At all. Yeah, and now it's all coming out
So we'll see we really shall see because even the Epstein stuff never fully came out
Oh her ex-husband says that he he thinks foul play. Oh, of course. Yes, because why not?
He's an absolute we know that puff Puff Daddy's not a nice man.
No, I mean there's no way.
And he's had people killed.
Now I know for a fact that we talked about when we did our update on Biggie and Tupac.
He was even more closely.
He offered a million dollars for Tupac.
But we know that he was even more closely involved in that than then originally thought he's probably responsible for both of their deaths
Or yeah the beginning of it and bull and also it was my characterization of in my mind of imagining it not being
Extremely serious just assuming that he's just this out-of-touch
Millionaire just been like somebody handle this for me. Yeah, and then you're like, oh no. Oh
Wow, he did quite a bit of
stuff yeah and after his like reality show he just seemed like such a chode
yes that I would have never thought he'd be capable of doing something like this
this is what I'm starting to just seem like such a loser Eddie you know what
I'm really starting to understand is that as much as I want to admit that you know like losers sometimes
are exactly as they appear you know like some I you and I want to give people the
benefit of the doubt all the time especially in Los Angeles yeah I always
just kind of want to imagine somewhere in my head of like they're just kind of
they're kind of aloof or whatever but that's just because they're distracted
or they're under high pressure.
But every once in a while you find one of these people that are acting like a chode
and the reason why is because they are a huge fucking asshole.
And they think that to act mean is what gives them power over other people.
It says, obviously Eddie, what they're. Mm-hmm. Not like me. I
Wonder if someone made a sugar night a prison cake this week for him to celebrate. I feel like he's not I feel like he's
Not happy. You don't think so. No, I don't think he was at the parties. No, I think we could say he wasn't there
No, he wasn't there. No
No, he wasn't there no
Well I wanted before we even get started on the show really I wanted to give a big shout out Henry And I saw the substance last night. Oh no spoilers. Don't worry about it
No, get your ass to see it. Just go is movie of the year right so far so far
Yeah, I like kill and I like this a coo- I watch cuckoo and I like cuckoo a lot
But this is so far my favorite will be go and see it and the only other thing. I'm slightly
I'm not offended. I'm not gonna go on to a whole Charlie
Hanna mask oh rants about this, but I watched some watch some of the penguin. I haven't gotten there yet fully. It's great
I enjoyed it. I'm not done with it yet. But I will say. It's only one episode.
You can't be done with it.
Yeah, sorry.
I was watching whatever.
I was watching whatever came out.
I was looking at clips of it.
I'm just angry because.
What are you angry about?
Not really angry.
It's just that there's a scene where you see Penguin.
He doesn't have a shirt on.
And that body that they put on, arguably one of the most
handsome men in the world, $25,000 body suit that was on him
Just to have him look like me. Yeah, and I feel on some level you could have been his body double. I
Feel I'm so angry. Look at his body and tell me that that's not a dead ringer for my body
Well, remember when they were casting it I I went to Twitter
I said we gotta get Henry an audition I'm
not worried about this is not bitter about not being penguin better but what
I'm saying is my culture is not your costume mm-hmm and me being a fat tub of
shit Italian Polish man yeah it's not your funny little game did you see the
alright because I gotta walk around like this?
All right me that guy from what was that you saw another man the guy with the big face
Oh, so good me him. Yes, that's not your fucking culture, bro. I know oh, oh fun to do fun
Send up fun to walk a mile in my moccasins
But you don't want to go to the store and buy him
Do you dude one of the worst things I ever saw was Bradley Cooper playing?
Oh man on Broadway. No, it was so stupid. It was like he's just beautiful Bradley Cooper
And then he goes like oh my being him as the elephant man
And he starts like putting his fingers together and scrunching his face. And you're like, shut up!
Yeah, just like whatever, dude.
With his perfect bronze body and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, he's doing the Eddie Redmayne thing,
where he's just going like,
okay, I'm gonna kill you something.
With no prosthetics, he just starts putting his lips weird.
We're like, oh, okay, you're the elephant man.
So fucking boring. You're Bradley Cooper.
Unbelievable. Did you see the penguin's feet? Those easily could have been your feet.
Again, my culture is not your costume. Sure. Yeah. You don't know what it did. The bravery
it takes for me to walk around like this all day. Yeah. You understand the bravery. Look
at those little hawks. Do You understand what my life is like?
All right.
Having to walk around.
With your flippers.
With crisscrossed toes.
All right.
Oh, what a horrendous thing.
He's got hair all over him.
What a monster.
He must be a, he must be a Batman villain.
Yeah.
Oh, look at his body.
Oh, he must be in, he must belong in Arkham Asylum.
I will say my major problem for him
Yeah, that's a club foot for him. Yeah, it's not a big issue really Colin Farrell is beautiful, too
He's very handsome, but he does a great job. I met him. Yeah. Oh, yeah, what's he like?
He's very I told him about the show. Did he take a swing? She come over? Yeah, he's gonna
Yeah, you're in your first will you be nice to him? Of course. Yeah, I'm not anti him
I'm just not an anti him thing that even anti the Batman mad at Matt Reeves
You know what? I think I'm just mad at not me not taking care of myself the Warner Brothers
No, I think I'm mad at the fact that I yeah, you could have been the Riddler. No. Yeah
I'm just saying just looking at the body and you're just like wow, that's somebody's ultimate nightmare, huh? Yeah, but that's what I live with every day
Yeah, that's why he's so angry is the feet. Oh, there's Bradley Cooper. God. You think it's just yeah
I guess it is why he's yeah, I was in like the third row and I honestly couldn't help but like laugh several times
That's the movie that he should have been remembered for radio. Yes, Cuba Gooding Jr. In radio
That's when he was fucking most blessed.
Yeah, no, radio was great.
Radio is a kind of movie. Now that's a movie they can't make anymore.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Although, you know, this is more of a documentary now.
When I saw that he was playing O.J. Simpson, I was like, oh, is that radio too?
No, though. Because it was was very serious set of crimes, but the substance
Unbelievable go see it to be more fucking slays
Margaret quali unbelievable the director her other movie was revenge, which is unbelievable incredible great great great great ass movie
It really was truly wonderful. I'm blown away by it
The one thing I will say is someone who's squeamish to like to like blood and guts on any we were sitting the second row
and he was
twisting
I'm so happy. I stuck it out. The end is one of the greatest payoffs
I've ever seen in the movie. So worth it
So if you're watching the movie and you're squeezy like kind of remind me a mother
Yeah, like I want to go I found mother way more annoying than this mother the stress of it
Yeah, you know, I want to but like mother I want to go back and see this movie again, but like watch the audience
Oh, yes
The audience oh, yeah, like rather than the actual screen cuz LA's such a uptight
Like city especially for that type of reaction and hearing the audience standing ovation having to deal with it was great
But yeah, you have to check it out. Yeah, it's unbelievable great. You don't know if it's a horror movie or not
I know I do I think it's a horror movie.
No, I do.
I think it's a horror movie.
We talked about it not being a Halloween movie.
Oh, okay.
And we're gonna do a 31 for 31.
We are going to be doing,
Side Stories is going to be doing an official 31 for 31
that we're gonna be announcing next week.
Also, we're going to be doing listener pastas on Side Stories.
So we will love the, we'll open up the floodgates.
Start submitting them.
Start submitting them. We will be doing that for side stories and we will be following along the Halloween season because it's it's spooky time Eddie
Halloween, baby. Yeah, dude, you like it. You're ripped up. All right, do your story do this one big story
Oh my god. Okay, so I don't even know where to start on this the suicide pod
okay, there was there is a suicide pod and
on this, the suicide pod, okay? There is a suicide pod, and somebody was arrested for,
there are, okay, so in Switzerland,
they have a suicide pod that they've invented.
Because they have euthanasia there.
Now isn't the guise of the suicide pod
is that you just go to sleep and don't wake up?
Yes, pretty much.
They basically remove the oxygen and put in nitrogen.
Which is supposed to be the best way to go.
It's a very peaceful way to go. Apparently right before the last words you hear is,
if you want to die, press this button. So you can choose to get out of it at the last second if you want to.
Oh, they give you a lot of stop signs.
There is a lot of stop, they make it, But the thing is, even though euthanasia
is legal in Switzerland, this is not an approved device.
And a lot of people were arrested
because a US woman used the device this week
to get a fatal dose of nitrogen gas.
And a lot of people were arrested because of it.
I am one of those where, obviously, it's
a controversial set of controversial topic. But I am one of those where I obviously it's a controversial set of is this controversial topic?
But I am pro euthanasia. I mean obviously Switzerland is too
I look it up and I think you should be allowed to choose if you want to die or not in
2023
1252 people
Committed euthanasia in Switzerland. There's my question. That's a huge number. But what is the approved way?
What's the approved?
I mean, I think you gotta go through a doctor.
On what, he just gives you a hot shot?
I guess so.
I guess they probably use the Kevorkian thing.
See, it's kinda like, you know, I've heard tell about this.
I wonder if, you know, SideStoriesLPOTL.Gmail.com
if I'm talking out of school,
but I've had several people that have worked
in various hospices say that a good one, if you're about to go, will give you a shot right at
the very, very end.
They'll give you a shot if you, if you'd very obvious that you're in a lot of pain kind
of like, I don't know how you find them.
I mean, that's murder, but no, no, unless you consider it ultimate care, but it's kind
of like, how do you know if your massage place is a rub-and-dug without just pulling your dick out? Well, one of the
things I learned about hospice is that they basically just like
stop giving you any care that will prolong your life. Well, I've also
heard that they will, again, you gotta slip a Mickey, right? If you slip them
something. I don't know if it's a straight up money tip. This might be entirely wrong,
but as far as I've heard,
every once in a while they'll go like,
we'll give her an extra shot.
We'll give her, let me just give grandma one more push.
I know no one offered anything to my father.
And so-
Maybe it's cause, and I'm not blaming your father,
but he wasn't being like mean in there, was he?
I mean, I'm sure he wasn't wonderful.
See, I feel like it comes down to it
What I've learned delightful as they die. I think in this like Oscar Wilde. Oh, yeah
I was those three score I do
Yep, yeah, he was very funny when he died. I was fun, but I think that a smile goes a long way
Yes, and I feel like that's the main lesson here
Is it if you do want to get murdered by your nurse at the very very end be nice?
Yeah, you know what it honestly really helps peanut butter stuffed pretzels. Yeah. Yeah, well and candy
I've heard that a lot too from flight attendants. No money candy. Do you know that they got the almond?
I tried to hip Natalie to this because I know she loves her peanut butter spread cells and we're worried about her
But the I found some almond brother almond butter pretzels that Trader Joe's I was trying to get her on so hopefully we can we can change all this
I'm not getting between her and her peanut butter filled pretzels. Yeah. Well, I've heard you bring it up several times
I'm worried about it. I just well, I just know it's low-grade peanut butter inside the pretzels. It's bad peanut butter in there
It's a very good care of herself. So that's the one thing she does. She's allowed. Yes, I know, I know.
That's what I do.
That's what I say.
But I sent the good pretzels to her and I got no response.
Wow.
Yeah.
Calling you out, Natalie Jean, from someplace underneath.
But yeah, so the suicide pod is a real thing.
Maybe one day it will be used, but it's just I didn't realize that assisted suicide is such a big thing in Switzerland. Oh, yeah
They're very liberal. John Luke Goddard did it. Yeah. Whoa
Yeah in Switzerland the director, you know, he did it in 2022
I just wish that I could choose so I could do like okay, you can do the nitrogen chamber, which is peaceful
Mm-hmm, but then like noose
The nitrogen chamber, which is peaceful. But then like, noose, C4.
You know what I mean?
Like, we're gonna take out a local orphanage,
use my body, attach me to the charges.
Yeah, but you know, no one wants to clean up.
That's the thing.
But if it's all already in there,
it gets all, you know, then you do it with the bulldozers.
All right, you know, this is a very dark,
how would you like to do it?
Be dead?
Yeah. Oh, heroin overdose. Heroin overdose? Yeah, of course. Really? Yeah, how would you like to do it? Be dead? Yeah.
Oh, heroin overdose.
Heroin overdose?
Yeah, of course.
Really?
Yeah, if I was going to go, if I was going to try
to be not here anymore in that way,
yeah, I'd do it the fun way.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Really?
The old school way.
Oh yeah.
I say, shoot me the stories.
H, man.
Shoot me the stories.
Look out, Joe!
Coming home!
Dead cold times, oh good times! Man shoot me look out Joe Coming home
I already had the song. Yeah, that's the song. I was gonna die to did look out Joe. Yeah, look out. It's not too late
I'll remember. Thank you. How would you go? Um, I shot in the space if it's but that's expensive That's extremely expensive. It's really a heroine's way cheaper than that
I was reading about how like they're trying to figure out, you know that they're that the ISS the International Space Station has planned
Destruction ahead of it next year. Yeah, it's supposed to be destroyed. Oh really I assess what they're supposed to do to it
There's apparently this option get those people back first and we'll know why not
But apparently what they're doing is they're just gonna run it into the planet Earth
They lay essentially just gonna put it into the atmosphere
So it burns up and then collapses into the South Asia Ocean quote-unquote if they can somehow control that I don't know no
But the other thing you're trying to say is instead
Attaching new rockets to it
So what I'm finding out about the ISS is that it's parts of it are dead
Like parts keep dying and they just slap shit on the sides of it to live in and stuff
And so what they are apparently another way the sides of it to live in and stuff.
And so what they are apparently another way to do it is to push it up and put it into another part
because they view I guess they view space in depths like the ocean. So if they push it up
another 600 miles, it goes into this other area where there's no debris for 100 years.
So this idea of like this one scientist is like, then it can be used as a museum
so people can go and see once they're traveling through space.
And you're like, I don't think we're there yet, buddy. Yeah.
I think we're having issues with escalators.
I honestly think most escalators I've seen in the last month are out.
So why are they all breaking? I don't know.
Maybe there was a shelf life when they put them all in. I don't know.
So they say the bomb in. I don't know
Yeah, the palm trees are going out all right, but I've are so how I would go out as I paint I have paint myself like a dance floor and
I'd lay down and I'd get stomped on in a corn mosh pit
Single the worst way to die I've heard yet
Maybe I'll dress like a giant rag doll. That's then they'll think I'm a rag
Why would it make any noise?
You had another big story I do want to get deeper into this other story to yes fucking judge story Well, I mean, it's still developing. Yes,, by the way but the so a sheriff in a small town in
He shot the judge now again. This is not a three dog night song
This is a real story
It is I feel like again because of the the way that the crime was committed who did it
Yeah, this shit is we are just scratching the very surface
of whatever the fuck is going on.
What's going on in our small towns?
Whitesburg, Kentucky, very tiny Appalachian town,
struggled Friday to cope with the shooting
involving two of its most prominent citizens,
this is from the AP, a judge who was gunned down
in the courthouse, in down in the court house he was
in his office yeah he was in his office yeah in his chambers and the sheriff of the town
went in off duty right to hey at least we're in pain for it yeah he went in trench coat
fucking blew away the judge he walked up to the secretary apparently said me and the judge must talk alone
This was Letcher County Sheriff Sean Mickey Steins. Yeah, and then he walked into the room. They were old buddies
He was they've known each other forever forever district judge Kevin Mullins, so they had known each other for a really long time
They've been working together on several long-term projects together. He walks in in a trench coat
You see the CCTV footage. It looks like a fucking movie
still where he's got a big hat on and he's got the trench coat. He goes in, there's a bit of a,
apparently a bit of a loud conversation is heard inside of the room, several gunshots,
and then he just walks out and lets himself get arrested with no incident.
Yes, lots of weird things around this story and we don't know who's involved with who.
There was another deputy of the sheriff
who was recently locked up for having
unconsensual sex with someone who was on probation
and had an ankle monitor on.
Yes, so this was, this was, yeah, started with corruption.
So the deputy worked under Sheriff Steins.
So they had this whole, I guess,
he pleaded guilty to it, this deputy,
and apparently he was having sex with a woman
in the judge's chambers in order,
yeah, I guess it was like that whole thing,
to be like, you get to,
because I did not know that,
that not only you get the ankle bracelet,
but they charge you for it.
Oh, they charge you for everything.
Yeah, I did not know that,
which is like, yeah, that does make sense. So he he was going to waive all the fees if you just gave
him the deputy tax, right? Which he did. And then he went to jail for it. But it seems
like the sheriff was getting deposed for further lawsuits attached to this very story that
somehow also involves this judge, because it seems like all of this shit was happening inside of his office
And everybody in this small town knows the guys loves the judge
Loves the sheriff and he doesn't even seem to be because at first I got first you're like, oh what kind of like
Backwood shit is this but it's like
Fairly like they did a good job fighting the Oxycontin
problems of the area.
Apparently the two of them were very invested in trying to reach out to people.
Apparently the sheriff himself would pay for people to do rehab.
They were like this kind of strangely forward thinking pair for their area.
I mean I'm certain a lot of stuff is going to come outside stories, LPTL the gmail.com, but I was reading about it on reddit. Oh, you know reddit is that's why I learned all the stuff about the aliens
Yes. Yeah, and remember that I do remember that and there are some
Allegations about the judge going around on reddit gays from all nations man
I think if I should even repeat them because they're crazy. Yeah, there's a-
If you want to go, I mean, there's no-
It's rumors.
It's rumors.
It's straight up rumors.
It's straight up rumors.
Yeah, okay.
So what was the main rumor?
The main rumor is that the judge was sleeping with the sheriff's 18-year-old daughter and
he found out about it and killed him.
That's an old-fashioned-
That's the main rumor.
Sounds like an old-fashioned Appalachian reason to shoot a judge.
Yeah, no, and it's um, that's like, that's the big rumor and also a lot of people are saying that the the judge is a known poon hound.
Hey, ain't nothing wrong with being healthy man.
No, well, I think that might be.
Well, the thing is that you say known poon hound and he looks more like a like a poon beagle.
Very strange, I don't mean to victim blame.
You know the reason why we can make fun of him
is because he's a judge.
I really feel like that way we can make fun of him
because he definitely, he's got pussy eating eyebrows
because he's got the groucho like,
how am I doing here?
How am I doing here?
Eyebrows so big that they get pussy juice
in them when they eat them.
Thank you, Eddie.
Yes, no problem.
But I feel like that almost is like a compliment. Thank you, Eddie. Yes, no problem.
But I feel like that almost is like a compliment.
Yes.
But we'll find out what's going on.
Obviously-
This story's crazy.
The man, the sheriff wanted to be captured.
Yeah.
He wanted to kill him where he worked.
It's definitely premeditated.
Oh, it is.
There's no question about it.
He showed up with a trench coat covering a fucking rifle.
This is first degree murder.
Oh, very much so.
This was a plan.
This was not a... He was obviously in... I'm going very much so this was a plan. This was not uh he was obviously in
I'm gonna say that this was a crime of great rage
Yes, so we had lunch together before noon. Yep, and then at 243 is when he killed him something
Happened at lunch. Yeah, but there was a lot of people at that lunch. What if he found out that the guy went like vegan
It's like one of those like what like he went to that the guy went like vegan? Ha! He looks like one of those, like, what?
Like, he went to go sit down, be like, pork chops as usual,
Judge, Judge Mullins.
And he's just like, no, I'll have the vegan book job.
I'm looking at my triglycerides.
And he's just going like, you goddamn race traitor.
I don't know.
I don't know what happened at the restaurant.
I don't know if he did one of those things Maybe he left the 5% tip
Yeah
And then other people were saying that maybe he was sleeping with her with with the daughter before she was 18
But we have no idea that just made up right now. I made up world
Did you know that the age of consent to Kentucky is 16? No, but I'm
Fucking hard these guys definitely did I feel like I literally I googled it
And as I was googling I was like I'm going to prison
I want to Google's age of consent in any state
But you know that I go to on a regular basis 16 ain't even bad buddy
What are you talking about? There's worse ones than 16 in America. Yeah, why is it all the places that don't want abortion or letting?
16 year olds fuck because Eddie it's a way to keep women trapped
in these situations with men that don't...
They basically get to control them,
making them little baby factories as early as possible,
making sure that they don't get full educations,
making sure that they are entirely
within the patriarchal system.
That is an evangelical religion.
Oh, yeah, they got this thing called Romeo and Juliet laws.
But the lowest age, all right, is still genuinely 16.
Good work, good work.
16, yeah.
Good work, okay, yeah.
That's what is, Georgia had the 14,
Georgia was 14 for a long time.
But that was back in the day, yeah.
Yeah, in 1995.
In 2001, Hawaii raised its age of consent from 14 to 16.
Ooh, man.
God damn.
God, that must've been a long afternoon in court
Yeah, cuz then you find out. Oh
Delaware they're worse than it Delaware's age of consent in 1880 was the age of seven Wow. Oh
God, things are different. Hey, things are good. Hey, that's not bad. It's not bad. We're better
I'm just doing very bad. I'm saying now shows that we've grown
We have gotten better, but obviously it's still a complete
Yes, I think cuz today we had to like sift through so many stories of a sexual assault
We really did it was just like what the fuck we don't we're not even bringing up some of the crazy shit
That's happening in France. No, I'm missing the French story
I just honestly cuz it just gets to a point of like I like I what is our role in this story?
Like that's like one of those we're like, what do we do when we talk about this death by hammer?
That's that's the only thing you can give that man. Well, and it's just like oh, yeah the horrible story
I'm not we're not getting into it at all. Don't look it up if you want to the first time I read about it
I fucking cried Giselle Pellicoe. It's like it's horrifying. It's the fucking worst thing I've ever heard
It's a literal nightmare. No shit. It's kind of chips kind of wobbly out there, buddy
You want to hear the
Here we go. We have a at a Dollar Tree in Indiana. Oh, this is a good story. This is a clean somebody
No, it's not, someone was peeing in all the candles at the dollar store and
then a nine-year-old girl opened a candle to smell it and spill piss all over herself.
And then they're like, would you like a shirt? Hey, she got a shirt out of it.
The Dollar Tree offered her a shirt. That's more than how many times a man has
masturbated to me in the subways in New York City and the mayor never brought me anything.
Two times, right?
Yeah.
The, but yeah, the, yeah, so the Dollar Tree was saying
that this guy, he's been regularly peeing
in all the candles.
The Dollar Tree said, we're the Dollar Tree,
what do you want from us?
Yeah, South Bend, Indiana, which is the home of Notre Dame.
And so someone's been peeing in the candles.
And the Dollar Tree. You know who was doing it one of them irish. Yeah
Because you know what happens when the irish get a bit of the guinness in them. Yeah, they turn from the fighting irish to the pissing irish
But they they said a small place to pee they have cameras all over the store apparently
And but they don't have cameras down this aisle and they've been requesting them in corporates
Like mad don't worry about it. Yeah, maybe that's well, it sounds like it's an inside job
I think we've now covered for inside jobs today move the candles
I guess but it's also like I just find it strange of all of the things you can piss inside of why the candles it's
Probably because that's weird. There was no cameras David. Yeah, but they have no idea who's doing it and it's it's been happening for a while
It's guy I'm calling inside job by the way. Let's want to throw it out there fuck dollar stores Wow
I hate all dollar stores. I feel like this is gonna create a classist
It's not a classist war. They're fucking taking advantage of people who are underpaid. They do I do agree
They see they they do bad product. Yes, they do.
And they give you misprinted things.
They do stuff like it.
No, it is extremely bad.
Sizes of things.
You're actually paying less at Whole Foods than you are at the Dollar Tree because of
the sizes of stuff.
Yes.
And it's like they are they're driving out grocery stores from small communities because
of the optics of a dollar store versus a grocery store.
People believe that the deals are going to be at the dollar store versus a grocery store, people believe that the deals are gonna be at the dollar store,
and then when they go there, they're getting shit
that they have to do that breaks or is not very good,
and then it falls apart,
and they end up spending money repurchasing it.
That's right, or you have to-
It's extremely expensive to be poor.
Or you have to drive for two hours
just to get a fucking bell pepper.
That's the whole, the food desert thing.
Yeah, it's crazy, and it's all created
by the Dollar Tree and Dollar General
They're all fucking they're keeping our poor poor and keeping them fat because they're only serving them canned goods and yes And they're replacing grocery stores and communities and it's a fucking nightmare
No, this is a real trailer dollar stores need to fucking go. Yes, that's what these piss-covered candles taught me
That was something and then I actually I now actually kind of wonder if the man that pissed in the candles
is, I'm saying man of course.
Yes.
But would it be very impressed?
I don't see, it wouldn't even be that upset if it was a woman.
I mean, do what you got to do.
But honestly, you're allowed after Ruth Bader Ginsburg, you're allowed.
Yes.
She's dead.
But I feel like the man that's pissing in these candles might almost in a way be an
activist. Oh
Interesting showing us our errors and our ways and how we need to go closer to God
Closer to his light his love his embrace. Mm-hmm
I also heard I'm not even supposed to be using scented candles because I fucking making me sick, but I love my scented candles
What do you mean they make you sick?
I heard there's like poison in them and you were breathing in all the shitty poison from scented candles that we shouldn't be bringing breathing in
I feel like we're in amber territory. I don't know whether or not this is full
Real or not. I don't know if candles are poisoning us. I like candles. Oh, I love my candles. That's what that's what makes
I have the can I put specifically blot the candles if you know about that. Oh, that, please let us know. Please let us know this extremely
Style fear the most cable news
This is a I can't believe how fair of how afraid of candles Eddie is now
Sent to candles can be bad for you in some ways, but the risks may depend on how you use. Yeah, man
Don't huff them. Yeah, you don't smoke them. Yeah. Yeah, so can produce smooth. It's good suit. They're too expensive now anyway
Depends Eddie cuz some are handmade some are high quality like nice candle
I know I tried to buy one for Julie recently and it's a $70 on the bottom of it
Now I was like you ain't getting shit, baby. Wow, so she's not good enough for a $7 candle
That's all I heard. Yeah, that's right
But sometimes what else do you buy? What do you buy?
For your mother-in-law if you don't have a $70 candle
What in the living fuck do I buy for a woman that cannot necessarily know me?
She could know me if she wanted to know me. Yeah, you know, I mean, I'm a hall of mirrors to her
Yeah
She only sees what I allow her to see
But also she sees in because she's a mother so she's a little boy inside of me
I started buying my aunt weed lotion. She loves it. She's not a weed person, but you give them the lotion
No, they look at it differently. My mom's coated in CBD cream now. Yeah, that's the best slick to the touch
There we got this one. Let me do one more story. I love stories
I want to see let me see which one of these stories. Okay, this is okay. I'm just bringing it
This is not a super serious story, but the discussion itself is now this man a
Gentleman in Iowa. He was accused of exposing himself and then taking off from a come-and-go
Gas station. He was accused of masturbating and come and go. And we know for a fact that that should be legal due to the name of the
establishment. Yeah, they put it on the sign. Yes. But this man, that's what he did. This
gentleman, he said that, no, as a matter of fact, I was not masturbating. Thank you very
much. I was just scratching his genitals now they police they say the eventually he showed up at Kelly's home
He went to his house after people said
He was people received nine the cops received nine one call from customers at a come-and-go
The man he made sexual comments to them and then began to touch myself appropriately right now
Okay, I think it's the comments really kind of illustrated what he was his actions were right
I also think that the reason this is a story is because no one knew that there was in fact a
Gas station called come and go spelled K. You have they just didn't know and now they heard this story and they're like
Oh wonderful, and then we're like that's why we're covering the story
Yes, this man Kenneth Lee Kelly now they went and after they they apparently Keller Kelly Lee Kennedy Kelly
That's what I have. Okay. Okay. All right the police they finally showed up at his house
I guess after they located him they figured out what who he was from the footage from the gas station
He had a hat on that was an identical match. So the one worn
He is some priors. Obviously he was driving without a license along with possession of narcotics.
Again, he did his time.
He's innocent.
And he says it's a giant misunderstanding.
Yeah.
Giant, crazy Larry David-esque.
And if you look at him, you could see the foibles.
He definitely looks like a guy that is living with his wife in Studio City and just enjoying
the foibles of being the former creative Seinfeld.
He both looks like someone who would commit this crime and then someone who would be wrongly convicted for this crime at the same time. Yes
Whoa, do you know the amaranth the twitch streamer sold bought a fucking come and go?
She bought a gas station for eight million dollars. Wow. Well, that's hot. That's fun. But so this is my
discussion
Okay, so I'd stories LP othello gmail.com. This is for all of us. I'm shaped like an egg. Right? Yeah, I'm fat
So when I walked on the street
My pants naturally slide down. I actually had this recently. I'm just walking on the street
Mm-hmm, and it just so happened to be a fan of stupid like, you know
Allman family like the mom that had, like, no bra on,
but she was wearing sort of like, like,
kind of under-rew style,
and then she had three kids named Grayson,
and they were all drinking green tea or whatever,
and they were coming down the street.
And I have an issue where I walk.
If I walk above a shuffle,
my pants begin to fall down.
I've known you for 23, 24 years.
You know this about me.
Your pants fall down any time you even get,, 24 years. You know this about me. Your pants fall down anytime you even get happy.
You know this about me.
Yeah.
I'm walking down the street.
I'm struggling with my pants.
I see this woman named Gerber or whatever with her four identical toe-headed Aryan children.
Yeah.
And she pulls them.
My pants start to fall down as I'm walking.
Yes, as they do.
As they do.
I turn away.
I watch her look at me.
I'm turning away and unfortunately,
and I will do a little bit of an act out here,
you can sort of hear it,
but unfortunately it sounds a lot like this.
Like it's going,
huh, huh, come on, come on buddy.
Yeah.
Get and pull my pants back up, right?
No, this is when I'm waiting to talk to you about something.
Come on buddy. Yeah. All right, all right. Let's get that foo-foo back in there. Get and pull my pants back up right now Talk to you about something
And then I look and this woman dares to give me a dirty look like I'm some kind of fucking
Pervert right like I'm the pervert, but they're looking at me right so this my question is what living fuck am I supposed to do?
Well if your pants would have fell you would have been a pervert, right? You know, I'm fucking I'm
Log-jammed no matter what the fuck I do. I'm like Biden with Israel. All right first first of all, no penis no fell
By the way, if we don't see a penis you do believe that though
Do you not believe that even if like they see my penis lump, they won't be upset
It doesn't matter. You still got something over it
They didn't actually see your penis.
But I just don't know whether or not the goon squad is going to come and roll me down the
street with a baton.
Also, no cum in you in the pants.
I think that kind of helps you.
If there's a bunch of cum in your pants, I think you're fucked.
But yeah, but like, how do you know it's cum?
I mean, honestly, honestly, Eddie, this is me being my own lawyer.
How do you know if it's cum and not piss? And I common not piss and I think that I see you could tell the difference
Do you think that piss is the color as bad?
No, he's fine. So if I don't you don't so if I piss my pants in front of a family
Oh, but we've been down this yes. Yes. We've been down this road. It is illegal. Yes
All right, so definition of private parts. Yes, you can be charged with indecent exposure without exposing your penis Eddie
What as the legal definition typically includes exposing any private part in public which include the buttocks
Female breasts or other areas depending on the jurisdiction as long what I mean of depending on the jurisdiction
What does it even mean? I mean some places
More of a shit.
So what, do they have to bring out a fucking ruler
and decide how much pub counts as private part?
You have to say, like, because to me,
if you ain't seeing the stem, it ain't dick.
Yeah, no, you should see at least the shaft for the tip.
I'm just saying, how do I protect myself
from these families, from these litigious families?
Well, maybe you just start wearing a hat. This is sometimes my pants fall down
Sometimes I can't hold on do not help me lift my pants
Do not help me lift my pants the the exposure
intentional Do not help me lift my pants. Do not help me lift my pants. The exposure has to be intentional. That is funny.
But technically, it is intentional,
because my pants are falling down.
So it's not intentional.
If your pants are falling down, it's not intentional.
You're right.
I just need you with me, man.
I'm with you.
I'm just, no, I'm saying when this happens.
I'm sure I will be there.
I might need you to pretend to be a lawyer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I mean, I'd love to pretend to be a lawyer. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I love to pretend to be a lawyer
Can you do that?
Can you just give me a run real quick of like alright your talk this family has seen
Some of my tuft they are they are
Gathering up and the father is the father is like a very angry looking like graphic designer with the braces
You know me like that style like braces and the thick glasses sir sir do not look at my friend do not
look at my client I mean do not look at him it is not his fault don't yell at me
I have ADHD here is a written excuse from his doctor that he is abnormally
shaped you are pressuring me to read. I cannot read on pressure.
That's right, sir!
I am gonna have to ask you to read this
or stop looking at my friend.
Do not take his picture.
I'm a victim!
He is a victim?
I'm a victim!
His mother drank when she was pregnant.
Yeah, she did.
Now look at him.
Do you want this?
You want his plight?
And who are you?
I should have been dead when I was born.
Who are you to...
He's deformed.
You sick bastard.
Look at my back!
Look at who...
Look at my body!
Children, look who your father has become.
Look, picking on the poor, deformed Henry Zabrowski.
They put Colin Farrell's head in makeup on top of my body
for HBO's The Penguin.
You're gonna indict yourself.
Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm sorry. I can't. I forgot.
I forgot I'm going to bust the NDA.
Well, what a great act out.
Yes, it was fun.
Well, this is great.
I'm going to get in some letters.
Yeah, yeah.
We did a lot of good stories today.
Yeah, I think people will be upset
about some stuff.
Yeah, good.
I mean, what else are we doing here?
Are we doing comedy or not?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's right, man.
Oh, by the way, come and go is as redundant because if you're gonna come some people who say I'm gonna go yes
But also it's like
Come and go to be honest. I just find it kind of rude. Yeah
Do we want to talk about the Korean?
woman found in a suitcase covered in cement
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love her. Yeah. Yeah, this took place in
Konjai in Korea, South Korea
North Korea
Apparently they do that for one of the Olympic sports in town. Hmm, but the what they did was a man who was in his 50s
He told local police he hit the woman with a blunt object. It was his girlfriend
Yeah, and then they found her 16 years after she was reported missing
Yeah was his girlfriend. Yeah. And then they found her 16 years after she was reported missing.
Yeah.
He had cemented her into a block onto one of the balconies of his apartment.
He put her in a suitcase first.
Yes.
And then cemented her into his balcony.
And this is how polite the people of South Korea are.
Can you imagine being in a Los Angeles apartment and being able to quietly or peacefully cement an entire balcony up.
Well cement is not a loud thing. No but still but you don't think no one's gonna know it's like, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch with it. It's just bags. Yeah, it's just bags
I guess the reason he got away with it for so long is because no one moved into the apartment and they were just using it
For storage. Yes, they just let it go
He's very lucky in a way. You got 16 years and then they arrested him and he admitted it
Yeah, of course, but it is wild
Like she is deep in the cement that is
You're not getting your security deposit back. No, I don't care what anybody fucking whatever you say even with you as my lawyer I don't think I could get this the security deposit back for this. I just feel like they're such a polite
It's such a polite area that people would not like be like hey, what are you doing?
Like hey, why you?
Why are you making a sidewalk inside the apartment? Yeah?
Why are you doing that? Why are you building a tomb?
You know like no one's saying anything. I mean, we're very busy. We're busy bodies in America
Yeah, so we ask all sorts of questions
We get all inside to everybody's fucking business
But apparently the concrete preserved her body and they were able to fingerprint her to find out who she was. That's incredible
Isn't that crazy? Do you think you could stop aging and a 40 year old man?
And if we cover you with concrete, do you think this is the news Korean skincare?
I think that if we put concrete in your pants, they'll fall down a lot easier and then I'm more of an excuse
His pants they sleep with the fishes
His pants. They slip with the fishes. But yeah, it's very interesting. What also is like, it's sad because then it's one of those things where
you got a big block of concrete in your apartment and the only thing it ends up being is a table for dirty clothes.
Yeah.
That's the saddest thing of all. That, my pellet's on.
Oh my god. I bet that thing.
That thing is got no mileage.
Because Rob thought of buying it
But then Rob got another one yeah, and then I need to get I do need to get it off my hands
Yeah, I need to get it off my hands. I need to sell this Peloton side stories LP
Oh to you at gmail.com you want to buy Henry's peloton want to buy my peloton autograph it Wow yeah
Yeah, you'll autograph actually this might actually
You know yeah, what's your half half half of what originally cost without the autograph with the autograph full price no yes
No
You are fired as my client have you ever seen me my autograph on eBay? No, is it I want to say it's like a dollar 95 it was from heroes reborn really yeah, they're bringing heroes back oh
I don't hear my phone yet ringing no
And look at Henry Zabrowski look at a Henry Zabrowski on eBay
Yeah, it's got we got somebody say if it's on there still cuz I've seen it before
Yeah up someone selling our book our autograph book on there
dollars for
For a print of you as the dog. Is it wait now? That's not $60 for just the print. Yes signed we signed
When did I is that your autograph? Can we see it? We'll see if this is real or not. Yeah, that's you
Wow, they took that from the they took that from the Raleigh Galaxy con
Oh, yeah. Yep. I know exactly where that came from. Oh nice. Yeah. Wow. Wow
Yeah, and the other one and it seems like when you autograph the book the book actually drops in price
It does it does cuz you defaced it. Yes. Yep. So yeah
$24.99 without an autograph. That was a fan that just 11 with an autograph. Can someone just go buy these please? I
Think you should just buy them to make it look like people want it. That's so sad hundred dollars. Oh
For Merlot, I did not sign that that's Dana Snyder and me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Dana. Wow that guy cheated
That guy fucking cheated. What do you mean? He cheated he fucking?
Stole they've got those signed for free cuz I also remember those were all the ones I signed for free because no one was buying
them.
Oh, well I don't think anyone's buying them now either.
Zach Zabrowski?
The 2024 Leaf Pro, oh is that Canadian football?
Yeah.
Oh. $10, $15 for Zach Zabrowski. Canadian football, what is this. Yeah, oh $10 $15 for Zach's a browser
Canadian football. What is this? Yeah, I know what are we trying to do? Well, you know, so plumber there for sale for $12
Well, I'm thoroughly insulted. Yeah, let's go yourself. Let's go some letters. Why just being bad at auditioning. No, I mean bringing it up
I would have never known. Yeah
Actually, I'm gonna surprise at how expensive they were but he does seem to be pricing himself out. Yeah
All right, I got some sob set stories now
Honestly, the reason why I talked about sob citizens last week
You love them is that I'm obsessed with them
but I just really think that I don't know if I illustrated just really like how thick of a
nuisance they are to the American society and about how
more and more dangerous shit is coming out of the group.
That's kind of why I'm obsessed with them.
They are a stripe in the conspiracy flag of America, right?
They are one of those major stripes and they are extremely irresponsible, annoying, and
truly potentially very dangerous. Okay.
So this is, I love shit like this. I just love, I fucking love sovereign citizens.
I love their fucking, their fake worlds.
I want to hear about it.
There we go.
I work at a city court in central New York.
Counties, a few small cities, mostly rural besides that, and even if you don't read this on air,
I thought you, Henry, might enjoy many experiences
with sovereign citizens. Let me tell you, when you say they're a pain in the ass, understatement.
I work the window so I get the pleasure of talking to these people and as they are often
repeat customers I form semi-relationships with them. I've encountered many, maybe ten-ish.
Let me tell you about two.
Highly these are my favorite. One is a male, divorced of course. We know you said sovereign citizen. Yes, used to be a white-collar successful worker who fell on hard times and lost his mind.
Every parcel of mail he sent had the return address of a local post office
so we couldn't track him, address from the quote, royal house of his last name.
Okay.
His charges were forging checks to pay off House of his last name. Okay.
His charges were forging checks to pay off taxes of multiple people within our city.
Oh, that's nice in a way, but doesn't work.
Yeah.
Not even his own.
He stood nothing to gain but to be a pain in the ass.
He's been silent for a bit.
He still has active warrants for his felony charges for failure to appear.
Okay.
The second is my favorite.
It's a woman who only gets misdemeanor charges or traffic violations
Okay, takes every single one to trial. Yes, exactly
Comes to every court date files numerous nonsense motions saying the court and police owe her various sums of money for different acts
50 50 thousand dollars for every 15 minutes
He's in court or pulled over stuff like that. You hear that a lot your stuff like oh if you want my ID pay my $500 ID fee or bail like they're just
they are they learn nonsense things that just make police angry with you yes
there the lady's always super nice to me at the window then raises hell in court
until she's escorted out smiling in her way out complete menace but it works
she's such a pain in the ass
and files so many motions, the DAs often dismiss her charges because they refuse to review
or respond to them. She's only pled guilty to traffic tickets thus far, despite numerous
arrests. One time she tried to name one of the judges as the executor of her estate with
the IRS, seemingly so she could bankrupt him by attaching him to her finances.
She's a bond villain.
Wow.
Yeah, like these guys are just and they never fucking stop.
And one of the big things I learned too is that our poor librarians are on the front
lines with these guys.
Free internet.
Oh yes.
I work at a library and oversee a collection of old government records.
Things like old state constitutions, that kind of thing.
We regularly get sovereign citizens stopping by wanting to see our stuff.
They're usually polite and I've learned to get them what they're looking for and to not
ask questions.
One night I had a particularly strange individual come in and ask for the oldest state constitution
we had.
He introduced himself as my state representative and even handed
me a card that said as such. He was clearly not. But it seemed better to play along. It's
hard to describe him, but he was short and let's call it rotund with large dark glasses.
And his mannerisms were so fucking weird. It's like he had never interacted with another
human before. If he wasn't a sovereign citizen, I would have mistaken him for a man in black. Yes. Anyway, I get him the info he wants and
without me asking, he launches into a long story about how post-civil war that
America is no longer legitimate and how him and his group had formed their own
government that was the true legitimate United States. Afterwards, I looked them
up online and it was true he was my state representative for his
own version of the US government.
They had elected officials in every state and even a president in their own make believe
government.
He eventually stopped coming into the library which I was thankful for.
But fast forward six months, I'm shopping with my wife at the grocery store and we run
into him in the fruit section.
He gave me a nod like he was going to say something.
But before he could interact, we grabbed our blueberries,
got the hell out of there.
I never saw him again. But y'all are right.
These folks are out there, and I don't recommend interacting with one
unless you are paid to do so.
Yes. Oh, yes.
And again, it just sounds silly.
It's all silly.
And it's all fun and games until they declare war on the local government and start killing
people.
I mean, there's only like 10 of them.
You'd be surprised.
Yeah, I think that they're connected into they're not healthy enough to fight a little
bit of what we talked about last week is that I think that there are shallow layers that
lead to sort of silly or layers that lead to the actual bad bad bad shit
Yeah, that is all at the very very bottom
Which is the stuff like that where Elohim City came from or things like that, you know the Montana Freeman
We're going to become a terrorist group. They were very very close to being a terrorist group
And so I just think that that's kind of what we're seeing. I think it goes all the way up to the project 2025. You know, it's like the same. It's just, it's
just project 2025 is the big scary version of it. Yeah. And sovereign citizens of the
super silly version of it. You say about 300,000 people. How do you count them? Because probably
just you look at the arrests.
You're only gonna look at how many have been arrested.
Yeah, they're not sending in their census forms.
No, they are not, friend.
But they tell you, because they live every day,
like I do, live every day, like a private citizen.
Don't let people tell you what to do
just because they've got some so-called badge attached
to them with a gun and a hat and a cop car.
Right? Love the fact that you can tell any cop what to do because you can always say
the one piece of advice, free advice, if you want to have a police engagement go well,
tell them that you pay their salary.
Yeah, they love it.
That's the key.
You pay their salary.
That's number one.
And two, laugh at them when they say you are arrested and say I'm not arrested
I don't consent to my arrest and guess what they just let you go. Yeah, that's something no one tells you
No, it's easy, but I have the guts. I have the guts to tell you which is
Cops are a corporate entity
Technically, they don't exist their ones and zeros or NPCs OCP man OCP MBC. Yeah, you know me all right
And that's what you have to do that's just remember that just remember that next time you next time you get arrested and
Get arrested. Oh, please. That's the big thing to is get fucking arrested
It's the only way they know you're serious push it all the way to the very very top so no one talks anymore
But then all you have is us last podcast on the left. So you'll have all the time in the world
Subscribe to all the other incredible shows on LPN. You know check out brighter side page 7 with brew
No dogs in space, especially if you got nowhere to go but home arrest. That's right
This is the perfect fucking place go to patreon.com
to go but home arrest that's right this is the perfect place go to patreon.com so this last podcast is left get a taste of the outside by watching us do things
outside of your home also Henry I have to say you were very good on HGX2
thank you thank you for coming by please watch the amber one yes please watch the
replay on YouTube it was so much fun yep Yep. We had Kara clank on the bed
Who's the bitch which also be starting very very soon? Yeah, September 30th. Yeah
And but yeah, no, it was unbelievable man. I had such a good time go watch the replay
The next one is gonna be live on twitch October 3rd at 6 p.m
Pacific 9 p.m
Eastern and then I believe we're doing another one on Halloween
But we're gonna try and do that one a little earlier so I can go party
Yeah
Yeah, but we'll find out for that. Yes, but this is incredible. Yeah, I can't wait
Best new show on the network. It was so much fun. Good work tick tock. I'll be on the left Instagram's on that too
Yeah, the last podcast on love.com what I need you to do is that they've just released more tickets to our almost sold out show in New York
Oh, yeah, get some of those tickets. Yeah pile of tickets. They've just released
so go buy those also
Second thing I need you to do is go and buy tickets Iceland. Oh Iceland. Yeah, I sling you need to buy tickets
Yeah, I don't know what you guys are doing over there. They are waiting to get a very cool. They're the very old cold
You know yes, man. I wanted to go on a helicopter tour over a volcano, and then Julie told me no
I think that she's right. I want to do it no more
We I want to fly over a volcano in a helicopter helicopters are out lots of things
Fucking hiked in the goddamn Yosemite on the side of mountains. I can't ride a helicopter
She's not on the show. I
Want to ride a helicopter?
If you want a helicopter in Iceland hit me up side stories lpo to lgm all that come if you can help him
Yes, he'll say
Hail Octomom. She's a grandma now Wow
Did she also come out of her pussy how big big is her? Oh God. Yeah. She just a
tent. Oh baby. They probably sort her out by now. If the kids are already having kids, babies having
babies. Yeah. Tell me about it. Yes. Well, goodbye. Bye.