Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Tiger King

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: the new Joe Exotic docu-series, BooberEats, a woman hides a severed head in a box of sex toys, and MORE.[SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen "Tiger King" and want to skip the Joe Exotic talk, go to 38:00]

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories Man it feels good to make some sex noises today doesn't it kissle. Oh, yeah, is that those are sex noises? Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, tell me kissle. What are your sex noises? Um Try to like really Were you raped by Bill Cosby Is that are you saying that right now? Were you revealing that you received no bill? Enigmatic no acting lessons. I was not on his radar at all But oh my goodness. Did you see the the coronavirus giveth and it taketh but did you see it did get Weinstein's ass?

We got a listener email that they think that that's full bullet. It's bullshit. Oh really that there is a COVID-19 outbreak There is one happening in Rikers. Oh, yeah, really really bad but he is was already in isolation and Reporters are using this as like a headline grabber. I'm not sure obviously that I don't know who knows But it seems like I think it might be half or shit because he was already in isolation because everybody's trying to fucking kill him Right, right. Oh my goodness when he went I want to do an entire series on murderers trying to get out or people who are criminals trying to get out Because I got a cop see me

That would be the first thing I would do This is going on right now and I was in prison for white collar crime and I've already been Handed around by prisoners like I'm a prized grapefruit. I definitely would go right up to the jail guard me like excuse me I think I have a fever Oh They would kill your ass Everyone welcome to side stories. I am Ben hanging out with Henry. Yes, my you still have you dodged the question You still dodged the question about making a sex noise you want my sex noises you want you don't you want to know what it is

It's probably like Like something like that like I'm kind of like purging up oatmeal. I don't know Um, I've never recorded myself. I don't care to record myself. It's not never videotaped yourself I can't imagine doing it. Can you imagine what it would be like because I don't like it when I see it like, you know You know, whatever head or a normative normative scare tactics I'm even saying right now, but the idea of like I don't even like seeing the angle on a Professional porn star when it shoots from behind the ball. Oh, yeah, the old kill shot. Yeah, like why are we doing the undercarriage? Slow move in why are we doing a Scorsese Scorsese style tracking shot on this this former drifters asshole?

I don't know. I'm trying to see a woman's asshole currently, you know in this scene watching this film I can't imagine seeing my own No, well, I mean, of course you could always imagine it, but it is it is frightening I'm sure some people love that shot and more more power to you. Yes So we have a lot of stories to get to today The coronavirus it is very interesting the story is Tekashi six nine. He wants out of jail Michael Cohen, of course Harvey Weinstein. They've all said that they've got it. I don't know who knows all I know is Harvey Weinstein versus Shug Knight Henry. This is my toss-up question

Which one of these balance fucking to be no not versus not versus in that should that would beat the living hell out of Harvey Weinstein He would turn him into a ketchup package Yes, he would I'm saying who did a better failed who had a better failed attempt of getting sympathy from the jury should night who who pretended to be blind which is unreal or Harvey Weinstein who put the little tennis balls on his rocker like the guy who's like, I can't even walk anymore. It's so hard Yeah, and then he de-abandoned it as soon as he went to jail. I For calm for comedy sake Shug Knight. Yeah pretending to be blind. Nothing beats him like not being able to find the witness stand I seem to remember that we had the big sunglasses on like that's fucking incredible Harvey Weinstein

No one was buying it. At least no one night people were kind of for a second like see fucking blind See really blind and that's it. That says a lot Speaking of massive cons and some of like because you know, you could say whatever you want about and you know Harvey Weinstein Bill Cosby Fucking Shug Knight. These are these are American icons Well, we've helped in a strange way this fallen fallen from icon grace. That's for sure We have created these people now. There's a new icon on the scene that we've been talking about for several years Already, we've already been talking about it. We were obsessed with him when he ran for governor of Oklahoma

Seriously, maybe the greatest announcement for any political office in the history of American Lawyers and a $3 bill and I live with five tigers and I'm running from governor of Oklahoma Which is the one of the most incredible openings to any video I've ever seen dude. Did you know how well he did though? I didn't know until the documentary. We're talking about Joe exotic. We're talking about Joe exotic Yes, of course Joe exotic for those that haven't there's a new documentary on Netflix check it out. It's unreal He got 19% of the vote And I'm not gonna remind you but how much did you get of bro? 1.8%

Holy shit, we probably got the same amount of votes considering how many people live in Oklahoma Yes, but the looks on people's faces this this documentary series. I it's on everybody's lips It's on everybody's fucking tips right now. Everybody is now jumping on the jokes out of bang wagon I guess as they should he is an example of the Indomitable human spirit and how that human spirit ends up in jail for 22 years I am okay, so we get a little we've gotten a little bit of blowback Sometimes we give a little bit of spoilers if we give some spoilers in this we we really are not attempting to we're just trying to talk About this thing that everyone told us to talk about so the characters within the Joe exotic documentary

I don't even think it had Joe exotic is the name that brings you yes, but really the documentary is about Carol Baskin This other dude named Baga Vaughan Antel he is a doctor of I believe supernatural medicine This man he became his own yes, he's spiritual medicine So he's not a self-made doctor self-made doctor doc Antel is became to be known was I think it's the real sleeper star of The documentary series because it came to the forefront He runs an organization called tigers which stands for the Institute for greatly endangered and rare species I he says Joe exotic called him someone of a mentor

He was the inspiration for Joe exotics tiger Sanctuary the greater windwood exotic animal park Yeah, and but also duck Antel loves to fuck and he in throughout this whole series They say that he has multiple wives which he promptly on a through an oxygen comm article rolling He's rolling back a little bit. I don't have multiple wives. They're just my fucking girlfriends. I had girlfriends right now He says right now. I am OFG which is old fat and gray, and I don't fuck anymore Well, I was like I will be fucking when I'm old fat and gray

I do believe that he's accurate about that when it comes to his name Baga Vaughan, it means Lord Lord or Does he call himself Baga Vaughan or is that his legal name? That's what he calls himself I don't know if he officially changed it. It's certainly what he goes by My big concern with him is it's not that he has multiple wives I watch sister wives every now and again not really, but let's just say I do that's fine They live out in Nevada. They're having a good time It seems like what he has is paid slave labor

Which is ironic because one of his snakes was actually used in the Britney Spears song. I'm a slave for you So that big get for a snake. It's a huge How many LA snakes went out for that how many snakes they brought in you drove in your snake, right? You're driving all the way in from fucking Encino To go to Culver City for this fucking audition and then they get some local because it'll work cheap I believe Damien Jake the snake Robert snake showed up. He's like, can I can I please be in the video and they're like I'm sorry Damien. You're too old. You had a drug problem. You got to get out of here. Go be a snake Go elsewhere. Do you think the snake got into the heroin too?

I think that that snake got into whatever Jake the snake was doing because I don't think it was very well kept I think it was in the bathtub. Yeah, I think it was in the bathtub or mostly in the trunk of Jake the snakes car Which is probably not a great thing So dr. Antel he says that he does not have multiple wives air quotes, but my concern here is this So they interview a woman who ends up going over there. She was 19 years old She wanted to take care of tigers tigers are a big that's a draw. That is a draw You tell someone they can take care of tigers. Evidently, they will not just do it for free They will do it in horrible living conditions and also be treated like trash the entire time

Well, according to a essay written by Barbara Fisher, which was one of his many wives She basically Described it or many quote-unquote wives. She was just there. She was there and she didn't know what to do I think it doesn't really say I'm not you're gonna really even say that she slept with them but there was a there was kind of a an untold promise in the air that if you were to maybe express yourself Physically to the doctor, you know It's maybe as they would call them or Lord as they called him that you would be able to get more one-on-one time with tigers And more one-on-one time training with this incredible incredible resource doc Antel

But what you don't know It's just that you're just being put in front of these incredibly dangerous cats by a man who barely knows what he's doing and all of These cats are completely uncontrollable, but they say it takes it's like an 18 hour work day to work with these cats They also cost tens of thousands of dollars per month to run So what they have to do is they get the cats acclimated to human beings as early as possible as soon as they fall out of the tiger Pussy they're touching it getting used to humans getting the oils on it or some sure and then they start doing what they call the cub petting services Which is they are inviting inviting people to come and take pictures with the cubs and shit for money

And we'll talk about one of the worst allegations will one of the many allegations I don't know what's worse or not when it comes to Antel, but what does he do with these cubs once? They're no longer Viable and once he can no longer make money off of their cuteness But I tell you what have you ever had any that you've ever had any of that Trader Joe's frozen tikka masala. Yeah, but that's not tiger cub You fucking Rube You simple simple naive boy. Well, I will stay naive if that's the case because that is one of the better things that Trader Joe's And they're bean burritos which are very very tasty and low in fat if you're trying to lose weight

But when it comes to these plucks, thank you when it comes to these girls the 19 year old girl they interviewed Oh now now she's a woman, but she went there. She said that they were kept in the horse stalls. They had cockroaches were everywhere and Much like Roger Ailes I just watched that movie bombshell yesterday actually really good if you want to check out the acting it's superb and it's pretty accurate I'll talk about more. I'll talk about that more on abling and stop at but he is a little bit Like Roger Ailes who used to say to get ahead You got to give a little head and he told that girl

It was insinuated if she wants to get out of the barn and into the house You've got to get into his pants and I'm going to say Hey, that is problematic. All right. Yeah, good. Good call. Good call. Kissel. Yep He did run a little bit of a sex cult inside of his Tiger Sanctuary It's a it seems like he now is again. He's rolling it all back He's saying that that was all like Joe Exotic's crew building him up saying that he had multiple wives Joe Exotic was also a man who loved to spin Lore about people because he was doing it about himself, but doc Antel is not a nice man

He's not a good man, but is does he have a flavor saver that is over three inches long? Yes, he does. I don't even know what that means, but I'm going to assume you mean his Johnson Yeah, no his flavor saver. You've never seen that there. It's the fucking strip of hair Lip down to the chin You've never heard No, it's what you do it's like a napkin for all the pussy juicy aculomates He just that's not until and if you take a look at him you've fallen in love with him, too I have a little I don't think so. He looks like he looks like Steven Seagal's like

Brother that he doesn't talk to because he's like a vegan or something. He looks like Harry Knowles stunt double It's really not right. I'm gonna look like take a look at this So this is a breakdown from this is comes from doc Antel's website. How I came to love animals. I Am the founder of tigers and RSF both active organizations for wildlife Preservations my love for animals goes back to the early days of growing up in Arizona Plenty animals there. I had ample opportunity since childhood travel around and landed me doc Boga Von Antel in China I received my doctoral degree in medicine there and decided to travel to the inland areas where medicinal facilities were not available

Hey doc doc, I don't want to interrupt you. I know you're giving your bio and everything Could you just tell me sorry? What was the what was that? Yeah, I get the flavor off of your Sorry, I don't want to be rude. Yeah ruby crystals of pussy juice. No, you are disgusting And I actually want to talk to you where you're getting all these women from they seem to be Oh, I purchased them hostage, but I purchased them I hold their jobs over their heads and I make sure that they stay with me for sex Oh, you were surprised that easy friend. You were surprisingly clear and up front about that. Yep It is just like that. You mentioned you were in China and you became a doctor

I just so was it like podiatry? Any like a like any like an eye doctor. What was the medicine? What was the practice? Do you call? I actually received a Pretty hard dentist. That's what I call a PhD a PhD out here in Unicorn math Very very good and so he so he said he went to go heal the animals of China and he created think of the integral health Services, which is a drug rehabilitation set clinic for medication programs. That means nothing I think he's made a drug rehab Like for animals. Oh, so take a snake say a snake and get in there Damien would be there in

1982 a zoo director introduced me to a tiger cub and I just said hello, Mr. Tiger cub and the tiger group said hey Are you my daddy? And I I killed it to see how it worked. I cut it open to see how its guts work. I believe that so Dr. Antle he is a Fame as far as The underworld of tiger trade of tiger love of these sort of petting zoos These people were some of we haven't even gotten to Carol Baskins yet We'll get to her in a second, but these people are some of the most interesting people

But but he was very famous if you've seen the movie Dr. Doodle little or if you've seen the film Ace Ventura Those are his animals in Ace Ventura. Yep. Dr. Antle is on set with Jim Carrey Like can you come you can imagine the conversations? They had he is on set He is a famous zoo guy and he was on Leno. He was on all these shows meanwhile He's running a big name He was a very very big name within the world of animals for hire for show business huge Yes, he did if you could see him a joking with fucking Jay Leno doing all the shit, but he did run this sort of like cryptic

We obviously it's gonna come out as the as the this information is now becoming publicized since he got blown up on the Tiger King Documentaries now it's everybody's coming in and so I'm certain more information is gonna come to light Wasn't it interesting though Henry Carol Baskins and Dr. Antle? Carol said I don't want and we'll talk to Carol and we'll talk about her in a second But Carol said I don't want to be part of the of a freak show So the so the people that did the inner the people that did the dock were like no no We're shedding light on animal abuse and then Dr. Antle was the same way where he was like I just want to show the good side of the tiger people of tiger while

The the might meanwhile the world of big cats like whatever they're doing between the cub petting Breeding and you it's like it's all just so inherently Fucked up. So the two big accusations against at dr. Antle are pretty big What he runs a sex cult keeps booing there beyond there be Against their will or at the very least forces them to have sex with them if they want to stay a lot of these people have big internet Followings there's a girl the Tiger Queen or whatever. She is like almost 300,000 Instagram followers He made this chick at fake breast implants all this kind of stuff, right? So there's that. Oh, yeah The second accusation is where do the cubs go once they hit maturity and the answer to that is 99% sure

Burned alive in his own crematorium or I don't like it killed Anytime someone has a crematorium on site. I am just always a problematic thing There's a problem. I'll say I'm gonna say this out loud right now I'm glad that you brought this up Castle because the LPN crematorium is I mean this we're only only burning bodies of Roadside animals just to clean up the streets. We got our street team is literally picking up roadkill from the streets We build them our crematoriums. There's completely legit. Yes completely above board and yes

Yes, yes, it can fit a human body there a human body can go inside a crematorium But it's just to go in without the flames just to see what it's like right before you cremated. It's an experiential thing Okay, well, this is according to dr. Randall I am popular I am so well known as a big cat guy around the world that people who are against me having relationships with animals period want to Destroy me because I am out there in the forefront So no so so known of being this guy that is in love with big cats and has them love him back So he believes that he is being targeted because the big cats love him too much and the big cats love him more than Joe

Exotic and more than Carol So that's why people are taking him down and he's got a rap sheet like the size of a football field It's the fucking cats the cats are making the decision and you know what to be honest if the cats are making the decisions I think that's actually bad. I think that people should be making the decisions. You know what in this case I actually think the cats should be making the decision of their own life and not be so confined Well, they need to be released. They all shouldn't be but I also understand the big cat rescue side of it I understand keeping these things. I understand that you can have a rehabilitative zoo But what these people are all involved in and that's the reason why Carol Baskin is such a very specific

Character in this world too for what you guys now like also what I'm certain that you know But to just remind you Carol Baskin is the woman that Joe Exotic is currently in jail for 22 years for threatening the murder Yes, and technically Putting a hit out on her Several types air quotes technically because I mean that's also a gray air. He was he was led down a road He's simply Joe Exotic is not It's he's not the hero we need. He's the hero we deserve. He's not a he's a complicated man He's trying to explain this to Natalie if she's just looking like yeah, yeah

Complicated he contains multitudes There's many times when I'm watching the Tiger King series where I feel a lot of sympathy for Joe Other times you're like Joe Exotic is also a fucking madman, but I started breaking him down in my mind So Carol Baskin was she runs a thing called big cat rescue She's been trying to shurn Joe Exotic have been in sort of this legendary fight for years He has been now Carol Baskin is saying stuff like I just love to see how big a part of Joe Exotic's life I was because he was barely a part of my my ass Cut to her spending over a million dollars to fuck with him for that copyright claim, which is absolutely

Bonkers well what she would do and this is what I find to be so nefarious because it was sort of it really did screw She killed her first husband. She killed her Well, you jump to that right yes There's also that but what she would do with Joe is Joe would use a picture and then she would retroactively Actively trademark that picture and then sue him for use because then he was he was doing both He was doing both he started it And started it with as a he started no But no, she started it because she put him on his web on her website be like public enemy number one

But that's a problem. She poked the bear what she didn't understand is that with Joe exotic You know, I mean they were perfect for each other all of these fucking assholes deserved each other That is how I view it is that Carol Baskin is not a nice woman. No fucking murderer She's doing the same shit that Joe exotic is doing but in nicer cages. It's all it's all Not nicer cages I actually was pretty surprised by the documentary about how nice Joe exotics fucking cages shows were the nicest there was a woman And by the way, the whole idea that we're not having spoilers is out the window. So just so you know that Um, the woman the woman that got her arm bit off by by a tiger in Joe exotics

Zoo she was back She said that literally the doctor said you can either get a we can do rehab for two years in your arm And you can keep it or you can cut it off now and go back she lost her fucking arm for Joe for Joe and she was back at work no lie the next week and They loved it the people that Joe exotic took care of and you know us on this show You know all of us have had our past and all of us God knows if things didn't go right We very well could find ourselves in the clink at some point and not and I didn't think not not anymore But who know well, you never know you never know knows who knows I don't know what I'll do Joe took in all of these ex-cons

They were such a great almost John Waters like feel to just their uniqueness. He took in people that needed help Dr. Dr. Antle took in women that he was using for sex and Carol Baskin's just straight up straight up used Not slaves labor Her dead husband's money her dead husband's money and then basically in dent What do you it's volunteer? But I think people also had an idea in their head that they were really volunteering for something that it just does not exist It is a tiered volunteer system where if you meet certain it was like there are teal Like interns in the care of askin big cat rescue rescue worlds, right?

And then if you reach a certain amount of expectations, then you get a ruby level And you get a little bit more access to the cats and all of them use the cats as the drug Yes, all of these people like they have they have acquired these cats and then they attract people because of the cats Joe exotic is both good and bad. He'd yes He did give an alternative life to a bunch of people that were having a lot of fucking problem Yes, they were with drug problems. Yes, people the histories of felonies He was giving them a career, but he also held it against them by then saying Now you be loyal to me, right?

So that's what he's saying which is that's a Scientology. That's the Scientology mechanism right there That's what they do with Narcanon where they say hey, we saved your life now you owe us right you owe us forever But to be fair to mr. Exotic who I am going to call from now on Prisoner number one eight nine nine one five six seven eight nine mr. Exotic he paid his employees Yes, I believe it's a hundred and fifty sure a hundred hundred fifty books, which cause like okay That's not worth it, but take it into account Carol Baskin did not pay anyone and Dr. Antle paid his employees. I think it was like 30 bucks a month or something and Well, they got privilege of lifting his belly and looking at his boobs. They they got the benefit of that

They've said this I've seen these new magazines They've been saying this about how men with guts actually have sex better guess all no Whatever whatever beefy boy magazine you're reading. I I think it's lying to you If you've never are you really never you don't respond to you don't watch big gut You don't you don't subscribe to big gut magazine big gut magazine is incredible It's like it's called like self-table. I love the whole self-table column They'll have where it shows different things that you could put on top of your belly when you're sitting down It's honestly really nice. It's comforting in these times. Unfortunately my subscription lapsed lapsed and I haven't I haven't gotten it back yet

But I will I didn't know they were doing the self-table bit again, but Carol Baskin when it comes down to all this I don't think she's any better than Joe Exotic I know but you know but at the same time she's a murder But you can't threaten to murder somebody in the dumb way the Joe Exotic did it Okay, you gotta be more subtle if you want to kill somebody you got to sneak up on somebody Carol Baskin her brother was a sheriff She was connected to the police force She had a lot of money because she killed her husband who had a lot of money and obviously she married a doughy

Loser lawyer who was a massive cuck who loves me dominated. He loves loving it though You know the difference is that if you love me in a cuck then you love it No, he's he's just a little smile in his face being like Carol and her cats He's so excited about me keeping her happy and Carol Baskin's becoming one of those purple ladies Do you notice that of course and literally the number one goal of her husband's life is to make her happy That's what he expressed and I think that's why she likes him but yeah Baskin is The instigator and the person who propagated the lies against Joe Exotic

She put this all on her website under the guise of being like some kind of spiritual guru She wears flowers on her head unless you unless you are literally in the 70s at Woodstock if you wear flowers on your head I believe that you are either a murderer or someone that is like way too up your own ass Well, you have to be you're under 115 pounds. You're going to Coachella. That's what it means But she then she has her little YouTube following She's trying to tell her she begins her story about Joe and dr. Antel as if oh, they're both promoting themselves Not the Tigers and then we come to find out and again We're taking you to about episode three. Maybe a little bit into episode four here

We come to find out she has hundreds of thousands of followers on YouTube not you think Antel is a cult leader She is more of a cult leader than dr. Antel and there is a well in her Property the septic tank a septic tank that possibly contains human bones or did these or did she feed Don Lewis to a tiger? I don't know He definitely just disappeared Natalie is of the mind that that Don Lewis Purposefully disappeared in the night because Carol Baskin was threatening was threatening to kill him And he was maybe setting up a story to try to get out of paying her as much as possible in the divorce But my thing I do I don't necessarily believe that I don't think somebody that made his money the way that he made

His money would go skulk off. I think that he would prefer to be in some loud divorce hearing Yes, he could pay a good you could pay a really intense divorce lawyer where Carol Baskin I think was turning up the heat and then let him know essentially I'm gonna fucking kill you and then he tried like one last attempt to get out and then She got him got him. I don't know how I think pushing him out of the fucking airplane Well, I don't even believe that he that she drugged him and then that's what they were saying But why was the van at the airport? No plans to take it off. That's very that's very difficult to decide I don't think that he did I think that he's most likely in the septic tank

Which is the place that no one wants to end up and it's really funny to have Carol Baskin be like the cops are free To go through my septic tank if they want and can you imagine any? Homicide detective just sitting there being like all right Yep, really excited to put on my snorkel. Yeah and get in there. All right. Welcome to the first dookie eight If you don't solve the dookie crime within the first 48 minutes. Yeah, the minute you die then I just give up Because our whole thing is that if it's too icky to solve we don't solve it hands off Hands off asking but what she did because she wanted to have she wanted the power in the Tiger world

Her cages were worse than Joe's and worse than Dr. Antels She wanted the power in the Tiger world and she destroyed her enemies to get it a very telling sentiment that she said a sentence She said was I did everything I had to do to get to where I am I did everything I had to do. Oh, no, she's a winner. She's a winner. Kissel. No, she is She is and and I think that that's important Remember sometimes you got to pull out all stops if you want to win you will got a w's w you got to go You got to go and you got to get it quit my question to you Henry is this so we see the documentary We see the seven-part series number one if a producer ever comes up to you and says we're gonna make you look good

They never make you look good because no one wants to see someone Looking good on camera. No, no, I want you to be embarrassed. It's never true. They will never make you look good The ego of all of these people and we're not even getting into the dude who ended up taking over Joe exonix thing We'll let you guys now. It's you guys need to watch this shit. Just watch y'all have plenty of fucking time It's it is highly interesting even it's essentially it's Florida man the the world of the Florida man completely exploded Yes, it's and it is a wild trip to see all of these people every one of them thinking They're the only correct one. Yes, and every one of them thinking being like thank god

I'm here to make these people To make not so that not all tiger people look crazy. Thank god I'm here to bring some Sammy back to this conversation What do you think it is like I understand why Joe exotic was like please come and fill me the guy was having a reality show Created about him. That's a whole another thing. Um, I get it. He he wants the spotlight He's he's a performer and I believe he has a lot of love in his heart, but dr. Antel and Carol Baskin's just those two We're not gonna talk about any aside characters What the fudge? I'm gonna go there. Why would how why the hell would they say yes? Why the h-e double hockey sticks?

Why the hell would they say yes to this? They love the sound of their own voices. They love being on camera That's what they do. They are big tiger people. These are not these are not subtle people These are they want to get the message out. They each one of them think they all think that they're controlling the narrative Right going on and they are not thinking about the fact that no you are a part of an entertainment documentary series from netflix They are go they are looking for you to unbeknownst to you because you're completely unselfconscious. Yes, you are just throwing Shit at this camera and they are there to catch it and they are very excited because they think in a way All good press all press is good press right that they would be able to attract people to their various institutions

Just talking about it, but just the just unfortunately just being in the same stratosphere as joe exotic makes you not super legit Like it doesn't help. I would say the inverse. I would say be to the stratosphere of carol basket and dr. Antel I'm just very you know, I'm just very pro exotic. I am but the way I so I was trying to break it down for natalie for dnd like They're sort of characteristics. Okay the way I put carol baskin is I would put carol baskin in lawful evil where she Views she has a worldview. Yes that she thinks is better than anybody else's

Yes, and she is trying to so she does everything according to her own set of laws And so anything that works for carol baskin is good because my view is correct So it means to an end at all times but to her but then also because of the power that she has She also truly does have the legal side on her Yes, she's winning because she's also because it all shows if you got the cash You can wear out anybody in the court as much as you want and that's how you win you but a war of financial attrition. Yes joe exotic I honestly put him full on into chaotic neutral

where he is he I think that he is accidentally good at the same times that he is accidentally bad I think that he is just joe exotic. Right. He is a spinning Dervish, he's the energies his tornado of energy that was unleashed onto the world And then people just kind of get swept up his two fake husbands both purchased by meth He is not I am gonna Unfortunately say upon especially with this documentary series because I listened to the podcast which was also very good

He's not singing those songs Okay, but now hold on because the documentary did not point that out How do you know that because that was one of the things that I shouted that I was like, he's not singing but then they never cover it Are you sure? Listen to his voice and there's this particular moment. I don't want to spoil it but there is a moment In the I want to say fifth episode where you're watching him lip-sync But people he's lip-syncing but they lip-sync during videos. No, it's not it's not during the video. It is live performance

It is a live performance. He's lip-syncing. Are you telling me but You know people lip-sync during live performances as well. They got to dance around they have to move it was a funeral kissle Oh, that was at the memorial If you watch him if you watch him at the memorial, he is lip-syncing. All right We won't go into detail on that that is up for debate side stories lpotl at gmail.com. Do you think? Do you think joe exotic is lip-syncing? I I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt the guy's in prison for 22 years for grand out loud Can he get something also? I do not believe 22 years is the appropriate sentence. He should not be there for that long

But I don't know man. I think that it's a comal day. It's a it's a I think it's a pile of a lot of things that he's done wrong in life It's an accumulation of a series of threats for example. He did say if anyone comes to take my tiger as it'll be a new He definitely put his mouth in an area that his ass he could not cash that check Um, so yes, I I understand what you're saying with that Oh, also if you give yourself a if you have a time watch the full video of joe exotics his his his song About carol baskin here kitty kitty. It's seriously unbelievable fucking He's just oh god. He's funny. I'm not even lying to you. I oh god. He's so entertaining. It whoever sings it

I let's just whoever it's good. It's good. It's good. I love it. It's good He's gonna and the video of him driving around Singing his own songs because that's also where you could tell he's not singing the songs I think that there's a difference. He might be singing if you listen to joe exotics songs if you listen to enough of his Disography, there are higher range songs that he is definitely not singing But there are some lower range songs That he he could he could be singing. I feel like out of this entire conversation This is the one thing that joe would just scream about

I really do think he's like no This was actually me like I'll sing them songs. You know, I'll sing them songs Oh, joe. I'll see skulls of blue This is my voice. It is my voice. You know, it's my voice joe. I believe that it is All right guys. Well, go and check it. Go check this fucking show out. It's called it is worth your time It really is it's called tiger king. It's on netflix You are going to this is a caravan of characters Like I truly have never seen before

They also it's a strange Feeling because you also in every one of these characters you will relate a little bit to yourself a little bit There's some there's there's there's fractions of every all of our most Toxic parts of our personalities. Yes in each one of these people. Yes, there really are and the way that the directors Uh, the director and the producers put it together. It was seamless just a really well done documentary And now that I think about it, you know what I like the most no voiceover None it's all just just witnesses It's and it's just it's so incredible and obviously we're gonna be as updates roll out

We would love to talk about whatever it is that comes up in the joexotic world because Man, oh man, you know Love them or hate them joexotic is a part of the american goddamn quilt and it is it might be a stained patch Yeah, sure. It's without that patch. There'll be a hole in it. I completely agree There's a piece of americana that he that he represents freedom Uh, you know, just say what you want and do what you want and love the way you want Puts you in jail. Sometimes that very freedom puts you directly into jail But that's also a we'll maybe talk about that next week after more of seeing it

So we can talk about the legal breakdown and if you have seen it and you are a lawyer or someone who has a legal background Side stories lpotl at gmail.com. Let us know what you think. Why is joexotic in prison? Does he belong to be there? Let us know your thoughts. All right. Henry, you got some creepy dp stories this week Let's just go through this real quick. So number one Um, the coronavirus COVID-19 is affecting businesses all over the nation People don't know how to react to it. You mean us? We just got I just um I'm just sitting in a deeper pile of my nut juice than normals But it's fairly, you know, the same for me

But some people are they have had to change their whole business model and I think it's kind of inspiring I think so especially this one business in portland the lucky double lounge The portland strip club it is it's forced to close. So dancers now do delivery. This is absolutely incredible Henry, I have something to say here because you know, I'm boots on the ground for lpotl Yes, no, you are you're a field reporter. I'm really happy you got to do some of this research I was at the lucky double lounge. It's right near a weed dispensary in portland. It is unbelievable Uh, just such a great place. Everyone was so sweet. The drinks were great Um, the chef at the lucky double lounge is a huge fan

He ran out when he saw me. He gave me two joints and it was like, what do you want, man? He was he was like ready to give me a burger for he was very very sweet So in portland as soon as they open up, I wouldn't even say that you eating a burger at the fucking on that the bar with that affect dance sales Hey, let me finish this up. No, but they at portland has a great, um adult entertainment scene The dancers are unbelievably talented and they're really great people. So lucky double lounge support it But uh, I didn't even realize this was lucky double lounge. Interesting. Absolutely. So club owner Sean bolden's newest business It's called boober eats. It's a home delivery service in which a pair of scantily clad strippers would deliver hot food to your door

It started as some joke that he posted on social media But now when people began seriously inquiring about orders bold and saw potential this comes from the or from organlive.com This this article Uh, so now it's just saying from 7 p.m. To 1 a.m. Boober eats is offering the full menu from the lucky devil lounge at the same prices They're now the delivery rates at 30 bucks because these girls work for trips these girls work for tips So you've got a fucking you got a tip these and I'd say give them extra when they show up Because they're showing up just just panties and pasties and it sounds it sounds like a lot of fun

And also there is a rule and guys I am talking to you. Yes, everyone sees you in the back of the strip club Staring at the girls not paying money. You have to get up Go give them a couple of bucks every give them every 15 minutes stand up They do something that you that's an impressive stand up. Give them money. We everyone sees you in the back Everyone sees this is the time For the webcam people This is the time for the at-home sex worker This is this is really like this is the time to support them because if we're not masturbating

If we're not fucking coming in this country in these next couple months That's when shit's going to start getting real when california Thank god california named weed an emergency service Because if not this fucking this whole state was going to fall apart because la is not an emotionally strong No, also, it's it's great. It's very funny to me. It's like hospitals Uh supermarkets liquor and weed stores. Those are like immediately Gotta say services and gotta say lucky devil lounges also an emergency service I think they could have pushed it and probably won

But this was what was a local reporter her name is samantha swindler This is what she had to say about the lucky devil loud She said so while the rest of portland was hoarding toilet paper and pasta the owner bought bought out one local store stock of pasties She goes on to say that's incredible It's brilliant She goes on to say all the calls of people as andrew just said are giddy and of course sometimes It's a birthday surprise or whatever it is, but so everyone's getting toilet paper and this guy is like

I see the time it's it's it is pasty time It's pasty time Honestly, what a good what a good time to invest in lube sure This is the time especially if you're fucking home Let's say you're home with a significant other you're quarantined this time to start experimenting This is the time to really see what your buttholes can do for each other. I completely agree How are you because you and puffin have really gotten close? Well not like that although puffin and I we have watched we've done very well

As I said I watched bombshell yesterday And I also watched and I'm making a movie recommendation right here the invisible man Oh, I loved it. It was really really good. It is the highest quality lifetime movie. I've ever seen sure I'll give you that it is really very very entertaining a very good thriller very very good Natalie and I watched because Natalie hadn't seen Lord of the Rings So Natalie and I watched all 15 hours of the extended Lord of the Rings and the main takeaway We kept saying I just so many scenes end with coppeds like they're looking at each other Just about to start fucking kissing

Every character in that movie it is such a it's a tribute to straight man Sexual love for each other. I guess so in a hobby. It's like it's like side stories. Yeah the hobbit Hobbits are horny. Are they a people? What are what are they called? Therapy they're halflings. They're little people but they are also, uh, but for mostly they are sort of horny But mostly they like food booze and weed. Yeah, they are cool They are fun, but I went I got honestly. I wish hobbits were hornier I feel like they I just feel like those things all lead to sex good food good booze good weed

No, it doesn't that goes to sleep. I do john gaber stopping this and I think several people have talked about this You gotta fuck before The food the booze and the weed Sometimes it does help to be inspired by the food. I do it all before So then it's not me going Oh, sorry, baby. It's the sausage sausage. Well, I think it's supposed to be a more romantic dinner like fondue Maybe a nice red wine. Maybe not a bunch of Polish sausage That's what we're eating now. Thick IPA. This is quarantine times, baby

We are fucking this is a I am eating a lot of pure meat and I'm doing a lot of yoga That's good. So I'm getting flexible and filled with sausage Particles, I think that's accurate. So boomerates if you're in Portland, Oregon go out there support This company support these people be very respectful when they show up Um and give them a good tip and get your food because truly the lucky devil lounge food is very good and To the chef out there. That's a big fan. Hope you're doing well. Hail yourself, buddy And I hope you're getting through these tough tough times for a lot of people for everyone in the service industry Uh, we're with you and when you come back to work, which you will you're going to be more appreciated than ever and hopefully people

Pay you what you deserve, which is a hell of a lot more money than you're getting our restaurant industries Oh, so so many of our favorite things are suffering right now and that just it just sucks dick I want everything to open up. We're doing our best to support Just so you know like a little bit of a float of a bit of information from lpn We're going to be opening up a brand new merch store this friday. Yeah Uh, it's coming out and a part of that is that we're going to be contributing a chunk of what we're selling to We're going through charities right now. I believe it might be one fair wage to

To kind of help Do what we can. Yeah fight this horseshit because we want you back. We need these restaurants. We need these bars fucking back I need it. I need it, man. I know I'm a good cook. I'm a fine cook But I mix I miss tacos so bad dude. I just miss the community and uh, and I know there's a lot of people out there that that are getting lonely right now and Again, we go to kissles out together If you're lonely if you don't have a fever i'll give out your address Sure that you've already done that I think on episodes of roundtable like a thousand years ago

But look at old episodes of roundtable and find kissles address and go to his home But not if you're sick because he can't be sick, but if you're again Again asking for my asking my cougars. Uh-huh. Where are you at guys? That is satire on Henry Zabrowski's part Puffin is a hell of a dart dog Puffin's a hell of a dog. Nothing. I've seen him. He literally would sleep through me getting bludgeoned to death with a pinball Oh with a with a with a uh with a uh with a bowling pin He would literally just look at me as I'm just like puffin. Could you please help as I'm getting wapped with a uh with a sports piece of

I guess yeah, of course any man. I would hate to see it. I'll tell you what uh-huh I'd hate to see it. All right, though. We have a little bit of another lori valo update I I can't even begin to catch you up to this I just wanted to because if you've listened to previous episodes, you know, we've been covering this story lori valo She is the mother of jj valo and tiley ryan that have now they've been missing sub september of last year She got married to chat debel who's essentially a cult leader of an esoteric wing of Mormonism Uh, and they are now they are with lori valo's in jail But chat debel is free and we have no clue where these kids are right and it's this long

Convoluted series of twists and turns watch that dateline on it. It's a really good sum up of everything that's going on But there is an update that is fucking unbelievable. So so weird lori valo's niece melanie boudreau paul's louski Also a part of the cult of the the debel cult. She attempted to murder or believe that she had somebody Attempt to murder her husband brandon boudreau. Yes. He got shot out. I'll leave in a gym. They don't really know They got divorced. She immediately got married to a man by the name of ian paul paul louski paul louski pa w l o w s k i right He is working with the police trying to say I think that melanie knows where the kids are nobody knows

Yeah, but the big thing that's coming out of this is a little bit of the inside mechanisms of what is going on Inside of the brain of lori valo and chat debel It is a it is a it is a crypt that should the crypt keeper is literally that's where he lives It's so it's very interesting melanie let slip To ian that the reason why brandon was why they try to kill him Was because of this concept that chat debel and lori valo have been floating to their various followers through their podcasts Which are still going that all podcasts that work is still going good for them a great time for them

Um, this is a perfect time for them. They uh, she said that Apparently they she loved to bring him with all her heart, but the problem with brandon is that he got his soul left him And his brain has been taken over by a zombie demon spirit and the only way to save him Is to kill him Which is you know, that's a lot to take in yeah comes down to then they ask well So what about jj and tylee the kids and she said the last time that they spoke to lori valo She said yeah, they're zombies now too. Yes, so this is what it seems like they got resident evil

Old oh my god. Yeah, she is she is a she is a real uh, mila Yvonne of itch you got a what mila. Oh you took me Mila. Oh my god, joe joe of itch joe of it. Oh my god resident evil and in uh And in uh the fifth element, but this is according to court documents This is like the stenographer had to sit there and channel their inners like the king or joe hill And just be like, okay the court documents describe zombies as quote Human bodies that have had their original spirits forced from them and have been possessed by either a demon a disembodied spirit

Or a worm or slug They go on to say she she she she shared concerns that again tylee and jj were indeed zombies So, um, this is a weird day to be a jury. It's a strange. I think so it's finally Honestly, it must be nice to see something fucking entertaining because I think most of the time on a jury. You're very very bored. Oh my god So do you think that this is oh man So the kids are dead. She killed them. I I um, I believe that that is true. Yes. I don't know I mean, we don't know there's no bodies, but I think that it's close to saying that yes

She's but now I know that it's actually very interesting the supreme court just ruled that states can Uh do away with getting off of charges Or not getting off of charges, but avoiding prison by pleading insanity The supreme court just said that can be off the table because certain states have have nixed it as a possible defense If she is not insane I don't know who is insane When it comes to standing trial, you're gonna tell me you're gonna sit in court under oath and say that your kids are zombies Um, that's a lot. You might as well just confess

If they are in your mind, you might as well just confess to being a hero then because I you know I mean, it's it's insane if she truly believes that then I guess she would also believe she didn't do anything wrong She saved the the world I just wish I had such confidence about a single thing. I believed in in my life You know like if you had just come out and just fall on saying look Yeah, some people get replaced by zombie slugs and that's just how it is And if that is I mean that's what an ease to live life with that you could just that's it locked and loaded Boom. Oh, he's zombie slugs. That's it. That's what you got. You got zombie slugs. That's what his problem is

That's why that's why the the the fucking dow's Plummeting. It's these zombie slugs. I hey, you never know Um, she has been extradited to or to Idaho Where she is being held at a on a million dollar bond her and uh daybell valo and daybell or not and uh cooperating with the investigation I don't know why though. I you know, I almost don't know why because they're guilty What? Yeah, no kiss old no people are innocent until proven guilty. Oh, that's right You know what's interesting and this is actually true and this is what I was thinking about during the joe exotic documentary

Our criminal justice system focuses so much on the people who are being accused and not the accuser I think in in the case of carol baskin. They should have had the same spotlight on her as they did on joe exotic That's what I think he tried. He tried he countersued in the field Yeah, because what was he countersuing with his the teeth of his husband. I don't know where he was doing I don't know. He had no money. He somehow kept getting money though. He's just one of those guys He just keeps he just keeps fucking getting on his feet again technically. I think jail's a very safe place for him He is Anyway, we'll continue to talk about that as more people watch it. But anyway, uh, I love this story

Uh, woman gave neighbor box of sex toys that included a severed head This comes from your favorite newspaper. This comes from the new york post. Hey, pam pam What do you want me? I know what to do with the dildo, but what do you want me to do with the severed head? Give it a kiss You know what I like to do is I do the old what I like to call is the reanimator Oh, really? I put it down there and I just let it go on the nub. I use his dead ass nose on my nub A woman whose neighbor so chill woman did this is I honestly think it's kind of smart what she did A woman whose neighbor asked her to store a box of sex toys later discovered a decapitated human head

Decomposing inside of it. Which is really smart because then they don't necessarily open it up, right? Oh, I also just realized so I'm looking at this article. I'm realizing this is a very old story But I'm just going to keep blowing through this because I think this is really fun Uh the so this woman she was super shocked She suffered a panic attack after seeing the macabre contents contents As she only recently removed the box from her wardrobe after noticing the stench So she said that the severed head appeared to have been boiled in water and wrapped in foil possibly to limit odor escaping Uh police in northern spain. I wondered why they kept saying spanish woman because it seemed to be a lot

To keep calling her a spanish woman, but this took place in spain That makes sense then They arrested the original owner of the box maria del Carmen marino. She's 61 in castro undiales cantalabra They alleged that the severed head performed. No, actually, let me do that in proper as spanish, right? maria del Carmen marino 61 at castro undiales cantalabra They alleged that the severed head belonged to jesus mario baranda 67 or her partner of seven years He said he'd been retired since 2018. He was divorced with children. The body ain't been no place She told her it was his box full of sex toys. She said her boyfriend laughed when he moved out

Uh, however, the unnamed neighbor opened the box after she noticed a punch in odor Wafting from the wardrobe where it had been stored for six months. Oh my god So when it comes to a personality breakdown of marino the woman that gave the box with the severed head in it This is how people describe her. They say she was a grumpy person who did not like children around her and i'm gonna say Grumpy is a little of an understatement Especially when she decapitates a man. Oh, I was just grumpy. I mean, we're i've been angry We've all been angry. We've all been grumpy. We've done. We've done this. You've heard us grumpy on air at no point Has anyone ever showed up with the severed head of a loved one? It doesn't I don't know yet. Well, I haven't seen it yet

We haven't don't discount travis Don't he can still do it. I still believe that travis can decapitate a man if he wants to No, I believe that he could but I would not describe him as as grumpy. I would say, you know, quietly malicious Quietly malicious always plotting watching and waiting looking for your weaknesses I know but this story. I mean, I always just thought it was really fun The reason why I wanted to talk about the story is that reminded me of a story from college where We had a neighbor. There was a point in time before we had cash, right? Right, what's what's whoever in college and murder fist like, you know, we all were working various minimal jobs, but we loved using dildos as props

Yes, so one time there was a sketch that we had to do that was basically We did a parody of the twilight zone episode time enough at last where it was a it was a full on Like eight minute sketch doing talking about hold a mcnealy as a man that loved porno And then hid in the vault of a bank and the end of the world came and then he got to go to the go to the porno store And as he was about to finally jerk off his hands fell off and he says but there was time now Time enough at last. That's great. All right. It was it was fun. Yeah, but the uh We needed all these dildos. So we had a neighbor Ed and I Ed and I used to live in this fucking flop house with a bunch of cross punks

Which I've described in the past. Yes Ed Larson, of course from brighter side hold a mcnealy from page seven and wizard on the Bruiser here on the lpn network But we had so we needed we needed dildos and at the time the dildos are like 75 bucks a pop And it's a lot of money and so we were like trying to think about like who is we for who should we Who should we contact? How the fuck do we get these dildos? Yeah, we had a neighbor That attempted to seduce me Ed Larson And we also live with together as a as a triptych and she said this line I'll always forget because I remember when she was she gave she

She played a song once she made me sit alone in the living room and she lapped dance for me Right, like we were like kind of like awkward dance for me in this living Is there a physical description of this woman that you can choose very cute? She was very cute But she was I'm gonna say unstable. She said the time the thing I remember my one of my favorite sentences She said to me we were all sitting. She's like I've run from all places than you've ever been to She said that one time Drifter she drifted one and she came and she and she's lapped dancing me I was just like didn't you just try to fuck Ed like last night. She's like, yeah, that's how it goes. She's like

Ed's the Ed's the sex. You're the voice and The body that's what she said about all of us the three of you together make the perfect man She's like like a transformer She's great. She was a lot of fun, but at some point she was like Uh, we were like, how do we get these dildos like let's ask her Which I bet she's got dildos right and we actually she's like she's like, yeah I got a whole box of them and she went and she pulled out this like ancient Cryptic box fit like big like stand cardboard box like filled with sex toys

Like, you know, it's just been under her bed for fucking like two years Uh, perfect. I remember taking it down and you know, none of myrtlefist knew That it was like where it came from or who they were Well, I have to ask you you you did throw them in the bath and wash them a little bit. Did you absolutely not you did not Okay, no, and so before the show I remember looking over and one of the members word of a sick Hey guys, look look and he picked up one of her big dildos and he started a deep throat in it, right? I go like, ah look Look, I'm fucking sucking a dick and we had to sat and then remember just not just seem like hell. Yeah, man

I think that's where coronavirus came from. Yeah, you and her are essentially married now. Oh I do reflect her cervix Hey, what are you gonna do? Oh comedy Okay Just why I would just say put a little sanitizer on there, but you know, what do I know? Yeah, but we didn't care We didn't know I know fucking 20 years old the full nihilist. It was fun. I know I know All right. Well, let's get to hero of the week. This week's hero is a male man male men are heroes and male women are heroes Male people male people. Well, that's kind of confusing male persons are the best going insane

So this dude he showed up at a little rock Arkansas Restaurant and he said, you know what? I gotta pay it forward. His name is Andy Derek He delivers male to doze eat place restaurant. He had a $12 lunch. Maybe he got what do you think you get for $12 pastrami sandwich? Maybe. Oh, yeah, side of fries. Oh, yeah, honestly, sounds great. Like a nice Ruben. That'd be good. Hmm Oh, that's great. He got a $12 sandwich and paying it forward again on a male man's salary. He left $2,200 as a tip. He said it's my community. I deliver to them. I know all of them just trying to support them because they need support Uh, this is uh, Catherine Eldridge who owns the restaurant. She says every employee teared up Every single one of them. She said I cried at first at first. I thought it was $200. I looked closely and said, are you kidding?

that very generous tip and Um, anyway, that is just very important The the owner goes on to say we need to see that right now when everything looks so gloomy and uncertain We need to know that there are people out there that are doing good things to help us out I wish I could have I and this is what Derek said the man who gave it. He said I wish I could have been more But I wish it could have been more But we'll get through this and go back to normal and I can come back and get my fish on Friday So there you go. Yeah. Good job, buddy. That is very sweet. Andy Derek

You are this week's hero of the week and uh, that's a great message For all of us to remember we don't got to give $2,200 necessarily But just give something to the people whatever organizations you love It's just just there's a lot of people suffering out there And uh, so yes, anyway, just a little positive hero of the week That's so nice. Uh, you know, I also want to give a big shout out to the fucking grocery store people out there Straight up fucking Holy shit. Who knew who knew front lines would be the most important people in the world right now

You guys are and it shows you the power of labor Yes, and how we're watching the dow collapse and mostly the dow is collapsing because they don't have the true control Over how shit gets done in this country, which is the the the working man and woman That really work for a fucking loving that go in the so think about that That next time I do a series of corporate bailouts. Well apps absolutely Uh big shout outs to all those people and they deserve more money better hours Health care the whole lot they deserve it and we're seeing how important they are for our society. Okay speaking of important

Let's get to listener email I want to read a couple of these couple these are good and fucking disgusting. I'm very excited. Okay. I am a nurse in West Virginia I haven't lived here my whole life. So I had a little bit of culture shock when I moved here I worked on an adult medical surgical unit so you could see a wide variety of patients with many different ailments I had a patient one day who was around 500 or 600 pounds She was a large woman who was from who was from very deep in West Virginia But you know what's so sad. Do you think if you can you just be under the radar to get my 600 pound life? If you show up and you're 450

Don't you just put on the effort that enough you're not fat enough So maybe just put on the extra 150 then you can get the free then you can get the free surgery on 600 pound life 600 pound life you got to have a story Get a pitch get a pitch got to have an ankle true true She was a large woman. She was from very deep in West Virginia She had a thick accent having just moved here. I had a hard time understanding her Anyways, she was a little unhappy because you just come to our unit and had to use the bathroom She had a difficult time getting out of bed. So it helped her get enough. You only five foot two

This was a slight challenge. We went to the bathroom. She sat down and did her business She was unable to reach her backside. So I offered to wipe for her deeper deeper Oh, I was worried this was going to be another deeper deeper All right, she looked at me as if I had said something wild and crazy and she said, um, no I don't do that I was a little confused and asked her why not. She replied that she didn't use toilet paper ever What my mind immediately went wild. Did I misunderstand her to always never use it in the bathroom? Do you just never use it for just number one or do you not know for number two as well?

You know, this is your joke. You you made this reference about a crust So I made sure to ask her again. No, you sure you don't want me to wipe. I'm happy to help you It's very important to wipe to clean gave her all the information. I know about wiping She again She gave me this wild look and says straight to my face in this deadpan voice The generations get dimmer and dimmer every year I said, all righty then no, and I wouldn't win this fight and just went back to bed without wiping her butt But since she was such a large woman, I didn't get a look at her butt

And maybe I was a bad nurse for not checking But can you imagine the shit in there? Oh, my it is exactly what you said it would be it would be a crust it reminds me of the uh of Water dripping slowly on rock and you look through it and you look at it over the years It just creates the grand canyon, but it is of crap. Um, oh Oh, okay. All right. Well, I love this story Good for you, man While being a nurse must be really tough out there being a nurse

We just have this time and time again Now with how difficult it is to be a nurse to the hard of just working people in the world I mean, I guess this woman technically made the nurse's life easier Because she didn't have to go see the decades of duke I don't know man in between her taco like like like taco bell meat between her she says this you say it's easier Yeah, it's easier now, but uh, but you're just you're just kicking this can down the road We're gonna have to deal with her body one day. I guess All right. So here we go. Here's another one. This is the this is this is about monkeys

Oh, okay. Cool. We talked last week about all the the monkeys. Yeah, right and how cute we thought that would be super cute I like it right. I love you cute Yeah, I spent a lot of time in remote areas of Uganda which has its own abundance of miserable red tail monsters These monkeys would hang out It's the bias. This is I it's already bias. I know where they're coming from. This is anti. This is anti monk Wow This anti monkey monkey propaganda These monkeys would hang out around my house trying to get and get in to steal my food

One day I was sitting on my porch drinking tea and reading a book A monkey was clearly the ringleader of this gang of thugs came up to me and tried to grab the book out of my hands I swatted him away, which only served to make him angry and I went back to reading while he chattered angrily at me from the rafters After it became clear that I was tuning him out. He hopped down to the table Grabbed my cup of tea and smashed it on the ground and then picked up the largest sharpest piece of the cup He could find and attempted to stab me with it. I left up screaming. I know this is fun And my brother who was sitting next to me jumped up too and punted the little demon across the yard All right, well he ran off into the trees

And so it's a deer starts he ran off into the trees and dozens of his little minions surrounded us in the trees howling at us We went inside waiting for them to get bored and find someone else to terrorize From this point on I was publicly enemy number one to this monkey any time I left the house He was there screaming at me He seemed to make his personal mission to break into the house and eat all my food Now I had to take extra security measures to ensure he didn't get past the locks I even began feeding the local stray cats to get them to hang around the house for additional security So you're doing the the gray the woman who swallowed the fly defense. I don't know if that works

I didn't think you could add more animals to this. I don't think it helps I don't know but all I know is it's adorable because the monkey is so mad It is cute, but you shouldn't kick that monkey one day I was doing my laundry and hung it out to dry on the line outside I had to go into town for a bit and when I walked to the door at the same goddamn monkey Was sitting on the clothesline waiting for me He waited until we made on but he waited until we made eye contact and then one by one He removed all of the clothes pegs holding my clothes up

He never broke eye contact and he forced to watch as my clean wet clothes fell one by one Into the dirt and the ground covered in mud. I had spent an hour warming up the water and hand washing each item He saw me do it. He waited until I was at the most vulnerable. It was a calculated strike. I love this monkey I think it's fun. This monkey. It's like Joe Exotic where he really comes down to it You thought Carol Baskin thought she had Joe Exotic contained right various legal messers But you if you fucking kick a monkey, right? You're now in a month. You're now dealing with monkey rules Yeah, well, he's definitely contained now But well, you know what this just proves what we've all known the monkeys are extremely smart

And I don't know how we how we catapulted. I guess we we did it because our brains can get bigger So we were able to beat the monkey, but you know, there was like a millennia where the monkey was just treating us horribly Beating us up all the time. Of course the monkeys are incredibly dangerous And we just I don't know how we got back, you know, I wouldn't even dare to begin to try to answer this question Oh wow, we we survived past monkeys, but we did we got them and now monkeys every once in a while They show us that if we lose our precious little toys They're gonna be fucking crawling up our ass again. Absolutely. We're ready for it. They're they're looking to be number one I'm happy you made this about the second amendment. That's very good gun sales are up 34 by the way

Good because you can eat them. I think that's really what's great about them is that they really do help because you can They really help everybody. Um, my thing is to just buy bullets and then I'm thinking I can just find a gun Sure. I mean, yeah, most likely at some point. I also want to say kissle. You were sort of correct Hey, all right. These bubbles we talked about bubbles eating space time the last couple episodes Um, he said this this one reader one listener writes. Um, he says that's just mathematicians writing fan fiction However, ben mentioned he visualizes the negative radius sphere of black holes as a fruit loop as a fruit loop. This is actually Shockingly correct. You're in fact Toe Roids or in other words cheerio or fruit loop shaped hell. Yeah mouths of babes

Hey, I'll take it when it comes to circulates The material circulates around the fruit loop at 99.9999 percent of the speed of light Which is not allowed to collapse inward as that would require exceeding the speed of light I don't want to be right again, but it sounds to me like the material is grape nuts So the grape nuts are going around the fruit loop This shit is dude. I know a lot of stuff when it comes to a lot of things, but not when it comes to science And that's just how smart I am. I actually you ever thought about getting You ever think about getting a doctorate in spiritual medicine?

I think you'd be very good at that. I actually don't think I would pass I think I'd be like that sounds dumb to me and be like, you know, you are not I'm sorry. You're not in touch enough with your chi or whatever the hell But next week I'll come back with even more letters keep sending us those letters. You guys we've got nothing but time here So we're going to be doing more evergreen stories more and more stuff as we come like I have a couple stories built up for next week I'm wish I'm really excited to get into and we are like we're going to keep chugging We are the apocalypse radio that we I guess have been preparing for years to be that's it and Side stories lpotl at gmail.com and also we have a little bit more information regarding our book tour in April

Finally, I'm sure you guys have deduced this in your Sherlock Holmes cats. It has been postponed It is rescheduled. We are working on rescheduling it now and it will happen later this year So we will see you all Still we're just it's just slightly later literally just about to make the true announcement You're going to probably see it as this episode come out You're going to see instagram posts and twitter posts about where the dates are which is going to be great But the main takeaway we want to say is right now is that if you pre-order to sign copy of the book This is a solution. We've been working on. Yes, you're going to get an email from the ticket seller

Uh that it's going to explain the steps that you need to take to get your book at the proper time Yes, because the way it's been working out essentially you were supposed to pick it up from the venue When we were going to come and do your show But we don't want the people that bought the signed books to not get the book by the time We're on tour. We want you to make sure you can get that book when everybody else can get the book because of how Fucking good you guys are to us unbelievably good to us. Yes, and and in supporting us So we just want to make sure you guys get that shit So we so look out for an email from your ticket seller. Yep, and we've just been we've been trying our best

You know this whole thing is uh, it's a unique experience for everyone So uh, we are doing the best we can to fulfill our promise and distance makes the heart grow fonder So when we do see you on the road, uh, it will be even more wonderful and more powerful Number not a couple bits of information slash news Working on a jfk series. I think that there we are we are attempting to not go seven episodes deep into jfk We're going to try to have it only be one more This is because we're going to try to do it and then figure out other ways to do make sure we get as much information You as possible so people don't experience jfk fatigue. I know that I spent my entire my every day

Is me sitting in sweatpants watching jfk assassination footage and then just and then whatever else is in my brain So any working theory that you're going with that you want to tease the audience with right now a working theory that you got I think that he was so smart his brains left to skull I think that was a maybe it may be it's that uh, so we're working on that Another thing we're working on so we're going to have a merch store come out this friday You're going to see all that information as we pedal it to you Um Big last but information we love your fucking viewer mail and the gifts that you send us in the mail

It's it's it's always spent a lot to us the new york city post office is fucking slam right now The la post office is slam right now What we are asking you is that if you have got something you want to send us for now Take a picture of it and post it to your social so we could see it and we'll fucking share it and we'll do all that kind of Shit, um instead of sending physical mail because in new york, especially it's incredibly harrowing to go to the post office Yeah, it's very very difficult right now. It really is difficult They have come back on some workers and as you guys know it's it's kind of a crazy time out there Thank you all so much for the gifts that you send. We truly appreciate it. We open them

We love them and just in this in this situation Just take a picture put it on insta And we will post it and and of course, please send after this Situation that we're in now whatever this bullshit is Um is over, but you know, but that's why every day man. You gotta live. Yes, you do you gotta live Just thankful that you aren't burdened with the ring that unites them all the ring that rules them all poor Frodo He was he just wants to be kissed by samwise. That's all he wants

And he won't laugh until he is he won't laugh until finally, but you know how bitter he was at samwise's wedding Watching him be with that being like, do you remember when we were outside of that lava flow? Do you remember the very end of this fucking movie when you when I when we basically kissed? Do you remember that now you're fucking getting married to this fucking here? Hey, I don't think the Frodo was Frodo might have been a little drunk on the mead if you was saying that at the wedding But I will sometimes people accidentally reveal real truths. Do they sometimes sometimes right? And you gotta love you gotta love like the unrequited love between a bunch of just hairy little hobbits All of them in a bunch of horses

Watching aragorn swish around fucking stab at things with this fucking vego morton being super handsome Legolas almost a woman. So it's nice to see out there. You got gimli. Gimli's being funny I love everybody relaxed But the rest of them are just just you know Just loving each other and knowing that fellowship is the most important thing of all because fellowship in the end kiss Is what saved middle earth from soron? I agree. I'm a Gandalf guy myself I love the old Gandalf. All right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. Hail yourselves Magus dilations

Hail me you fucking you jackals. Oh And your children if you think that your children are zombies. I'm gonna say give yourself a timeout Go have a white ones. Let's go relax Give relax. That's actually really good even though a lot of times people get really mad when you tell them to relax So I don't know if that'll help, but you're right. You should relax This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com