Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Try to Solve Diarrhea Within Your Community

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's true crime stories including a murder at a Dave & Buster's, the terrifying calls recorded by Gary Sudbrink, a man gives himself dysentery FOR SCIENCE, Hero of the Week, Listener Emails, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left side story. That's when the cannibalism started. Side story. Yes. Henry, what are you looking at there? Oh, really? Very natural.

Very natural. I am looking at this website. Tell me. I don't know. There's a lot going on at that website there. What's it called? There's a lot of bling on this. It's called prayorbpray.com.

Let me see here. Does this sound just ask me? Does this sound biased in any way, shape, or form? Eventually the quote-unquote COVID-ians, they come to admit that COVID cannot be proven to exist, but they will keep it at a state religion so creep can continue to virtual signal face diapers jabbing their kids with quote-unquote sacred phallus mystery fluids. I feel like there's a lot of independent research here. Face diapers just reminds me of the movie, The Visit.

Not to have a spoiler, but it's 10 years old, so get on it. Get on it. And apparently all this was directed by Israel Prime Minister Menachem Begin. I don't know really. Where is this? There seem to be a lot of here. I see the word Ashkenazi. I don't know.

Is that bad? Is that bad for the radio? My friend, I don't know what any of this means. Are they going to flag us again? Because the transhumanism. Do we have a flag? The transhumanism. Do we have a flag?

Yeah, for COVID-19 misinformation. And I was like, oh, you mean it's too truthful for Spotify? Oh, wow. Oh, man, I love the corporate overlords with such a great sense of irony. So intelligent. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. Ben hanging out with Henry. Henry has stomach problems.

I'm having a side issue because I stepped into a car because I had to go drinking at the bar. He had to. And I pulled my, I think it's my side muscle. Listen to what has just been said. I'm looking right down the pipe of the camera for the Patreon subscribers. According to what was just said, Kissel was hurt bending into an escalade. Damage.

I went to have better. I wouldn't say bending. I would say extending. Extending. Extending. Into an Uber XL because that's how he has to travel and that is not even because of comfort. That is because of just his legs.

It's a tall tax. We don't talk about it in this country. It's tall tax. And I think that's the most important issue going on this week. Oh, absolutely. It's the only issue we'll get into. Yeah, that's for sure. But it is interesting.

Yeah, if you've ever heard this thing, they said apparently Uber and Lyft will slowly but surely bump up the prices to see if you will look and check and that he slowly raised the prices on it. It goes up and down, depending on traffic and demand. I think. The Nazi. I'm just going to say it again. We can't use that as the title of the episode.

Okay. Let's know that. That's the old one. We're going to get flagged. All right. Well, thank you all so much for listening. Did you welcome us? Did you welcome us?

I said welcome to side stories. Ben and Henry. This is just so wrapped up and all of this information I just uncovered. Well, speaking of information, this Friday, all right, you got to come. Okay. You got to come to the Avalon. Yep. We're doing this thing and forget if you're like, I hate Netflix.

Just pretend it's not Netflix. It just please. We're just going to be there. It's a side story show. It's just a side story. Just come to see us do a side story shows. It'll be fun. I mean, this is not one of those fully desperate.

We have sold tickets. We have sold tickets, however, I think we're competing with like really like people that are like famous. Very famous. And then we're just like, we haven't thought about what we're going to say yet. And so come and see us. True tellers, tips of the spears yet to declare bankruptcy, which is the final chapter of a truth teller.

The Texas two step. We talked about it on top. Oh yeah. So anyway, check us out this Friday. We can't wait to see you and it's going to be super chill and super fun and no matter what, we'll have a great time and it's a little bit more in a man in our larger shows. I believe it's around 450 or so folks. Absolutely.

And you're going to see Fernando on the tubes. I don't know if he's going to be directly on stage. Are you ready? He's going to get all make up. We're going to get him up in there ready for the ready to perform for him to see the people. I think that was a yes. It was a nervous laugh.

Sort of like he didn't enjoy being put on the spot and sort of now he is forced to be there because we've had a publicly and is he happy? Is he not? We don't know. We don't know. We call one of our employees. Sphinx. A mystery.

Sphinx. God, I have still had food poisoning. I was talking about this on serious XM yesterday, like when we did the show, I am, I'm not feeling good. We're all falling apart. I'm not even 40 yet. I shouldn't be like the rest of you. I should still be young and filled with life and vigor and common hair.

Well, you are full of all of those things along with a new game. Not anymore. And that's the thanks of my new toilet. We actually discussed this on yesterday's episode of serious. I read a study when it comes to boinking yourself to death, heart attacks during sex. The average age of death is 38. So be careful, my friend. Bring it on.

I can't wait for my cause of death to be Gucci. I want it to be that. I know that. I mean, obviously I've talked about this on the show for years. Natalie has it is written into our, it's somewhere on the Facebook. It's in the will. Yeah. Yeah.

That she has to sit on my face until I'm dead when I'm in hospice. Absolutely. But that's not the only breaking news today. We've had a couple of really interesting stories. Obviously, there's a lot of turmoil currently in the news. Absolutely. We'll get some of the more serious stuff on top. And we'll try to make it as light as possible, but sometimes things are just so heavy.

It ain't easy. And I would just want to say, just reach out to me, Henry, the abortionist at gmail.com. I'm coming to your neighborhood. I'm coming with my hook. I'm coming with my stick and I'm coming with my diaper. I know it's going to be, no, like the music man. Oh, did you hear the abortionist is in town and then I'm going to pull up and a little stage coach and I'm going to be given abortions by hand, the old hipster, the new, the old

new way because hipsters now do everything by hand. Kind of like the dentist approach from Django Unchained, Mr. Walt. Fantastic. All right. Yeah. So, but yeah, we are so pro-abortion. I think that you, everyone should, it should be mandatory.

Again, mandatory is not the right answer. It's about choice. It's about freedom. But you know what? You mentioned food poisoning and this actually, this story, it could have been me yesterday because you know where I was? David Buster's. Why?

Because I had to. You took our friend from out of town. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, he never met up with me. He refused. He went to tour SoFi Stadium, he said, with his so cool friends, but no, we just happened to be down there.

Oh, he went to go have a better time. Yeah, exactly. Yep. So, we went and had a nice little business meeting and whatever, AKA chicken wings, and then I'm walking by and I see the premiere of Dr. Strange and it was right by David Buster's. And I was like, oh my God, David Buster's. You think Betty Dick Cumberbunch is going to be in name? He wasn't.

No. Anyway, David Buster's, it still holds up. It's just as sticky as ever. And I can't say the video games have gotten any better. At this point, they're just things that you can touch and maybe you can impregnate yourself if you sit on one of the controllers. I mean, it's all just kid juice. It's disgusting.

However, it was fun and I didn't do what the person in this first story did specifically when it comes to violence in New York City. Oh, you didn't stab somebody else now? This takes place, of course, in the Dave and Buster's and Times Square, which also, I've been to many times because during their happy hour, when you're dead broke, it's affordable. Yeah. It's a dollar, 24 ounce Bud Lights. No, they get you fucked up.

They can get you fucked up. It's weird when you're there and the kids are in there like, daddy, daddy, they're like, is that your son? Like, no, I'm just here for the Bud Lights. I'm here alone. Yeah. Actually, I'm surprised that you can drink alone in a Dave and Buster's and not have to have a child with you.

They track you. Most parks and stuff. They do track you. Oh, they check in? They kind of like, like the bartenders are always just like looking at you a little bit like, no, I just don't have a home. But this man was arrested. The man was arrested, he stabbed the man to death in Dave and Buster's.

Now we've covered a lot of restaurant violence specifically this year here on Side Stories. It seems to be, it's really intense out there. Maybe it's because the, the, the higher gas prices, maybe supply lines. It could be supply lines. People are feeling the heat and people are getting really worked up over absolutely nothing. And this guy, apparently this happened, well, okay, 1045 on a Saturday night. Okay. I guess Dave and Buster's that's bumping.

And I also want to clarify the name of the person who was arrested for stabbing was Jesse Armstrong. Jesse Armstrong. The victim was Alan Stanford. Now the one interesting thing, and again, not victim blaming whatsoever, no one deserves to get stabbed over a prize. Sounds like you're about to though. Alan was 39 and Jesse was 41.

My question is this. What is happening? They were fighting over a prize of a game price. Yes. From a claw game, most likely. Yeah. Or it was one of those, does Dave and Buster's, let me just ask before you clarify. At Dave and Buster's, do you get tickets and then bring it to a place where you then

get the, the prices from it? Like at a counter? 10 years and waiting. Finally, I'm the expert. I'm not going to let the power go to my head. I'm so. Yes. Yes, Henry.

There are ticket related. But no, but you go like they used to back in the day when you put a shot and you get the tickets and then you go and then you get. You bundle them all up. You bundle them up and then you get like a big worm or toilet seat. I don't know what they're giving out. But anyway, what toilet seat would be incredible with all of your children's favorite characters all on the rim.

So mommy can piss all over them. Mommy, you pissing on Nero? What's his name? Nemo? You're pissing on Nemo? Well, Nemo is a, is a freshwater fish. So perhaps they'll, they'll enjoy it. Also dolphins.

Oh my God. The mammoth. They breathe oxygen. They also rape. So okay. For all you dolphin lovers out there. We were very hungover. It doesn't matter because it's not a show about wildlife.

That's why we're not bringing up biology anymore. We're just not going to bring it up. These people were playing the remote control quadcopter drone game. Now this is for a top shelf gift. And so we're talking something like a large Mickey Mouse. Maybe you get a new wife. Chop, chop. Do you get a new wife at David Bussers?

You just, does it take a wife, leave a wife? So what happened was as he attempted, so he got the drone, so the drone like grabs this thing, right? As he attempted to grab it, the package fell and almost hit a child who was reportedly with the other man. Okay. No, I'm not going to tell people how to parent. It does seem like daddy might be getting a little drunk because it's 1045.

Yeah. Because he's hanging out with the denim clad loner all night, just been like, fuck your fucking family. It's the easiest thing to make a fucking family got to do is come inside and keep it. Absolutely. And now of course, again, might be forced to, so the two men began shoving and punching one another and then Armstrong, again, the 41 year old man pulled out a large knife, which I guess he just had the whole time.

I mean, maybe this is why I don't mess with anybody. I don't mess with people, especially man parents, because I live around the corner from a fucking middle school. I'm between a middle school and a high school. And it's a middle school and an elementary school. And these fucking parents, because they act like they're just the most special privilege. Like, oh, they take over the whole street just to get your two just schools parking lot. These kids are going to do nothing.

These kids are going to provide nothing. There's nothing for them. I'm drinking their milkshake. I'm making sure that they'll have nothing. And so you keep raising them so frivolously. That is not true. You're right. Who cares about these kids?

But yes, again, you should have the option to get rid of them. Yes. So anyway, Armstrong pulled a large knife from his back pocket, stabbed Stanford right in the chest. Boy, because I bare hit his child in the head. I believe that Armstrong was the one who won the product and then it almost hit this dude's kid. And then they started fighting.

He's like, don't let your product hit my kid. It's like, why is your kid a David Buster? It's almost a midnight again, no shade, whatever. Parenting is hard. I'm sure the kid had a great time until his father was killed in front of his eyes. So Stanford was taken to St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital. And there they just had their crack research team come in and say he was dead. He's dead.

So let me, let me get a, all right, tongue on his dick a little bit, see if it gets big. All right, okay. That's fine. Let's see. Roll them around. See if he farts. I love it. So you're an abortionist and now you're an ER doctor as well?

This is, Henry, you have so many, you wear many hats. It's because I take money straight. You just got to Venmo me. Yeah. I don't go through insurance. Oh, right now, by the way, if you are in New York, crimes up 42.7 percent. Oh, God. Isn't that fantastic?

Thank you, Eric Adams. Doing such a great job. See, you're reading all this and I'm looking at all of these various, these prizes, right? This Halo game actually is pretty fucking dope. Dude, I am not even joking with you. Some of the games, if you're going to go top shelf at a D&Bs, which is what I call it, the same way you say LRH, I go D&Bs, they are no joke. And the one thing is, you have to remember this, if you're going in with a thief in mind,

the games aren't in the packages. No. They get the games from the back. What do you mean? I've seen it happen. That's just an empty package. What? Yeah.

And then they say, oh, you won the Xbox. And then they have somebody with a lock and key. They call like a quasi-modo type guy and he's like, oh my God, someone won the Xbox. And then he goes to the back and then he unlocks some random cake. Finally. Okay. I'm finally, I was looking up this whole time. What can you win at a Dave and Buster?

Bro, look at all the goods. You can get garbage. It's not garbage. You got that stupid little Japanese thing that's the egg. You've seen that thing? Carpets. My niece is all into all of these like weird little like manga characters that are like, his name is Peter too.

He's an egg. He smiles. He's very cute. I was like, what is that? Oh, it's a Pikachu. It can also help you find dead bodies if you're playing Pokemon Go. But that's not Pikachu. It's something else.

It's not Pikachu. It's something else. Well, we talked about it again, not to continue to plug our serious radio show, but the man who created the 14 year old hologram girlfriend that now they're having some issues because the system is breaking down. Yes. You look at this like, oh, what a bunch of stuffed crap. This could be somebody's future wife or future husband.

And I think you need to show a little GD respect. So David is dead. Oh yeah. There's Deadpool doll. There's a Marvel hat. Well, there's a PS4. That's what I'm saying, bro. There are some serious gifts.

So it's just a PS4. Brother. Brother. They have PS4s in jail. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. In Switzerland, maybe. In Sweden.

Andres Brevik. I believe he was actually able to sue to get a PS2. He might have. Because he said he was cruel and unusual that he didn't have. They have an Xbox one. Xbox one. It's not even current. It's a fucking free gift from Dave and Buster.

It's not a free gift. You're spending hundreds of dollars on it. You're spending hundreds of dollars on it. Not if you get, not if you really can do it and you get in there and you win the prizes quite quickly and then they'll actually kick you out once you figure it out. So anyway, Jesse Armstrong, you start your Saturday off. I'm going to play some David Buster. And then you end it with.

Is that your dumb water impression? You were doing that. Yeah. You were doing that. But Jesse Armstrong gets a murderer. I'm going to play some David Buster. And then by 11 p.m. you're a murderer. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Very quick. What a day. I feel like you should have opted out. Now I just saw this picture of here. Now this is some form of derivative of Sonic, right? That's Sonic. That is Sonic.

It literally has a tag that says Sonic on it. But I fell off the wagon. What do you mean? What happened? There's a new Chris Chan documentary. Oh my God. No, no, no, no, no, no. It ended the whole thing.

It's two and a half hours long. We're not doing this. We're not. Chris Chan for those who don't know. They're a person that had. She sexually assaulted her own mother. I don't. Why don't you even get into this?

It's a long thing. Look it up. Really get into it. And I listened to another one. And man, oh man. It's pretty rough. Now, because they really kept going. Because Chris Chan kept going and kept going and kept going.

And there's just so many hours of it. And every moment it's worse than this. And I got food poisoning. I'm sitting there just watching this. And Chris Chan is food poisoning. Yeah. If it was a person. We've actually, we've actually had a company meeting about this.

You're no longer allowed to watch Chris Chan. It's all you spoke about on the road for about three weeks. Maybe even more. And you weren't sleeping. And you were like Robert Pattinson as Batman. But you weren't solving crime. You were just watching this monster. I was versus the muddler.

Yes. By the way, that's on HBO right now. It's only up for two days. If you have HBO, watch the Batman is the best. Some dance and why? All right. I have a very freaky story. Okay.

I don't want to talk about it here because, you know, we got a lot of murder in Miami. Obviously, if you go to Dave and Buster's, all you're thinking about is murder. I guess so. Be careful. I am. I know I fucking am. Don't catch me there. I love a good D&B.

But this is a story that falls a little bit into a, the world's of the wiggity in the wild and the strange. Cool. And I think it's really cool. Obviously it could be debunked many different ways. But what really kind of make my, the back of my, the four hairs on my head stand up. Yeah. And the back of my neck, which is full of hair.

So many hairs. They all stood up as well. This is all about back in the day. We had a thing called robo calls. Now we get them too. Yep. But, you know, the idea of you get these weird phantom calls. What if one starts getting more specific?

Hmm. And you wonder why? Am I the target of these? And what the hell is going on? No. Is this not my robot clone with a phone? Is this fun for a person or is this horrifying? Because I could also see it being kind of like cool.

If it was like me from the future. Yes. Take a left, Ben. You're going to want to take a left right now. No, I hope, I hope me from me, Henry, me, fix me, give me investments, me. Tell me where to go. There you go. Where's the waterline at?

Where's the water when the glaciers go? Where's the waterline crest? Where does it get that good new beachfront property? Exactly. And this is the story, the eerie story of Gary Sudbrink. Oh. Now, people talk about throughout all of the stories of high strangeness, phones are often used.

And there is a book, I believe that we talked with the author. It might have been Mitch Horowitz. I forget to write the book, but the idea of technology with the occult and how it seems that every year, that in every generation of technology that passes, there is a new phenomenon that gets attached to it. And this is just old school telephone. And we talked a little bit last week with the AI microwave that tried to kill his former friend.

It's really interesting, right? Absolutely, because the more things you put together by hand in the real world that mimic a thing that seems to be super weird, the more you have made it real, right? Absolutely. You have made an AI. You've made a robot friend. That's what the men did. But this is something even weirder.

This is when robocalls go on the attack. Oh, my. No, this is 1993. Gary was an Air Force captain assigned. He worked at some medical pharmacy. This is San Antonio, Texas. I didn't know that they had that. I guess the military should have.

I imagine it would have its own pharmacies. Absolutely. I guess you could be the, the Fort's pharmacist. Well, how else did they come up with the fantastic things like Agent Orange and all of the other wonderful Johnson and Johnson products that cause so much destruction, but the commercials are fun. Oh, yes, absolutely. Now this guy, he was Air Force captain and he decided to go visit.

He was from San Antonio, Texas. Obviously he was stationed San Antonio, Texas. And he wanted to go do a surprise unannounced trip. There's what people used to do back in the day. Zoomers. They used to show up at somebody's house, which I'm going to say, you know, obviously, as we know, the future doesn't necessarily mean progress, but this is one of the areas where we have improved.

Yes. Because if someone just randomly shows up at my house, you have to then entertain them for three days. Hey, man, it's me. You know, I've got this new flu. You're like, oh, good. Go for 20. Um, so he went to go visit friends in Long Island, New York.

Now he didn't tell anybody about his trip prior. Uh, and, uh, but it seems that something new with the hell was going on. This guy got this from normalparanormal.org. Okay. So he went to go stay with his parents that lived in New York and he placed a call to his old buddy, Mike, you know, but Mike said, it's so weird to call. He was like, Hey, what's going on? Do why you call me back again so quick?

Whoa. He's like, what? And it's like, yeah, I spoke to you yesterday, Gary. Is it possible that they were just hammered? Well, full line now, right? Okay. And he was just like, Gary said, he was like, yeah. And Gary's like, what?

And Mike's like, yeah, you called me yesterday about how you just flown into LaGuardia. And, um, and it seemed like you were getting sick. Like you were sounding really like fucked up. You sounded really fucked up. And he was just like, no, I came in through JFK today. This is me calling you right now today. And he's like, okay, well, you introduced yourself to me and we, you know, we talked to each other, you know, like we said, hello.

Right. And he said, yeah, it's me, Gary. Um, but Mike was freaked out. So he said, like, I'm not hanging with you. Literally. Just immediately. His friend rejected him because his robot clone decided to impersonate him. Isn't that interesting?

Long Island, some of the most loyal and disloyal friends all at once. What are you talking about? They're loyal. The only loyal man on Long Island's Billy Joel. That's very true. Apparently we're supposed to see him live. I would love. I guess he's amazing.

He's a titan. They say it's just a big karaoke. And so, uh, he's like, whatever, like, but as he was talking, Gary got another call. And he was like, he's, his family was there with him. Like as he got this call. So we got the other call and this is the call. He decided to record it as it was going because it was so fucking weird. So this is the audio from the call.

This is from February 8th, 1993. Oh my God. Now this is a guy. His name is Gary Sudbrink. That is his name. And he got this call and you're going to hear it in front of his, you're going to hear how he, uh, conversed in front of his own mother and father. Wow.

This is the, this is what our reality used to be. I'll tell you who it is. Oh. Yeah. Do you want to speak to him? Gary Sudbrink there. Yeah. Who's this?

Stephen? Are you playing games? Stephen is his brother. Oh. Yeah. Stephen, if you're playing games, they're going to kick your ass. So how long are you going to be back from Texas? Huh?

You'll be impersonated by the other police. Yeah. This is you, Stephen. You're the idiot. Oh my God. You pissed me off. You jerk. I'm going to get you on.

Let's see what it says. Review. One new call out of area. Is Stephen out of the area? How about you call him to be back from Texas? If I said it again. You'll be impersonated by the other police. Wait, hold on.

Is Stephen out of the calling area or what? No, I know. What do you mean? You don't know? He's in Queens. Oh, you don't? I don't know what to fuck. Hello?

Brings Mom in. Hello? Here's Gary Sudbrink there. Who is this? Let me talk to him. Let me talk to him. We can cut it here. Whoa.

This is the first call. That is awesome. This is the very first call and then there are two more over the next couple of days. They keep coming in again and again. And so if you can't hear what he's saying, what he's saying, so how long are you going to be back from Texas? Right, right. So he kept saying, so he knew that wherever the voice was knew it was Texas.

His brother Steve said it was not him. He was not doing it, right? And then he said you're being impersonated by the other voice, which means nothing to anything, right? I mean, it technically doesn't mean anything, but he kept saying, we come later on, we come to be within this planet, in this planet to visit the many, to be contacted as the same with you. He keeps saying all this shit, right?

And it is really weird. It's super crazy. And you can tell how triggering a relationship with the son and parents of a Long Island family is, because this entity was like, wait, what? Like at some point, the entity was like, you guys are kind of like scaring me now. You'd be like, what? You're doing what? You're calling me?

You're calling Gary? Whoa, that is so cool. How'd you find that? This is, I mean, this is one of those I found on my, one of my little places on the internet. Now, Gary is two brothers. Stephen is the one, is one years older and Brian is five years younger. He blamed his all on Stephen, right? Now at the moment he received the first call, he thought it was Stephen.

The thing is that Stephen said that he, he's not known to be a prankster. Sure. All right. To be honest, it doesn't sound like a prank. No, it doesn't. So he might be, is he known to be a sociopath? I mean, he might be a crazy person, but there's another story that another weird, high, strange story when it comes to Stephen and Gary as well.

Okay. Because this was also connected to Stephen. Stephen and Gary, one time Stephen was on his way to a wedding that was also in Long Island. And he happened to see his brother, Gary drive up alongside him, make weird faces to get his attention and then peel off. Right? Okay.

Something brothers might do. But Gary was not in Long Island at the time. Whoa. And he didn't have a car to drive, let alone make the model that he was apparently saw him driving, which was the exact make and model that was parked in Gary's residence in San Antonio. So he saw this thing. It was super fucking weird again.

All of this could be coincidence. But, you know, and then nothing helped happen ever since Stephen and his father had both seen UFOs. Gary's had no anomalous experience whatsoever. Well, and I think this proves once again that UFOs attack people with funny accents, whether it be Southern, Midwestern or Long Island, because yeah, I saw UFO and everyone's like, Oh, yeah. Okay.

Oh, really? Jerry? Yeah. It was big. It was like a pizza on the sky. And like, I think you just saw a pizza, Gary, you fat fuck. You saw a pizza. Fuck you.

Well, thank you for bringing that to our attention. Very powerful stuff. Well, I really got into that because I was reading. I got really into, I felt back into a UFO whole old school head, a UFO head place, which is like, because John Lear, who is a famous like identity within the world of UFO. He was actually partnered with Bob Lazar for quite a period of time. What a couple of studs. Oh, yeah, buddy.

And the two of them, they were the airy 51 whistleblowers. Beep, beep, stud train coming through. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's out of fuel. Seems to be stuck outside of the lard factory. But Bob Lazar, again, and John Lear, they split up. It seems something about ufology that seems to hurt friendships. Well, sometimes the people that tend to go towards the heavens and look to the skies,

for some reason, they don't like the earth because perhaps they're prickly. So the solo traveler travels farther. Well, what? No. No, got you. I just beat him. I don't know if that's true because sometimes it's nice. The solo travel travels farther.

But what if you want to take a nap in the passenger seat and then the passenger can drive for a little while and then you guys can take over. You like the gumball race. So one of you always has got to go to the bathroom with your pesky human bladder. That's why you have to sync up the bathrooms. That's why you have to piss in your pants if you're driving. Speaking of which. John Lear, he was talking about, he kind of came up with this idea that Area 51.

He really kind of blew up Area 51 and he filmed an object. Is that a truck stuff somewhere? Only, oh God, you can't bet on the gastrointestinal system of ufologists. But he filmed a triangle craft coming out of Area 51. He was a part of that old school whistleblower thing. He believes that the US government works with at least five to seven various alien races, some of which are not friendly. Did you ever look at it?

That guy didn't seem friendly on the phone. No, no. And it's very since Merry Men and Blackie. Yeah, it was cool. It's like the idea of like something kind of impersonating a human acting like who knows. Or it's just a dude he knows fucking with him. Well, that's the 90s. Yes.

That was so fun because you could, you would hit star 69. Then they couldn't tell who was calling. Yeah, dude. So you could prank all your principal. It was so good. Everybody. You're gonna fucking die, asshole. And then just hang up.

Oh, yeah. You're gonna kill your fucking family. And then they sit there like, oh my God. I'm so scared. Shattered and friendly. Then you're laughing with your friends. You got them. You know it's funny.

Yeah, you know it's funny. But then I got into Ross Coulter, who is a New York Times. This food poisoning is really getting you going. I have nothing with time to sit. I just sit and read my eyeballs ain't sick. That's what I told Marcus. I'm like, get back to work. I don't think I'm sick.

I know. But my fucking, my guts hurt. But I was watching this thing. Ross Coulter is this guy that has really been chasing down. He used to work for 60 Minutes Australia. Okay. And he used to be super respected. And then he fell into the UFO world and everything fell apart.

It's all gone. And then Ross Coulter, who is a really good reporter, he was talking about this whole world of you, like, do you know about American usage of Australian land for nuclear testing and how it's also a place where we use that for, was it very low frequency type of communications to go talk to nuclear subs in the Indian Ocean and strategic location for us. And then there's a lot of UFO activity out there. I also didn't know how many nuclear bombs we just dropped on Australia that we did it that because of the open area inside of the outback.

Yeah. It's all for, yeah, for fucking weapon testing. It's not cool. And at the same time, though, I want to write a movie about mutated kangaroos. That's right. And of course, I was going to say, that's why we've seen footage of angry kangaroo. And they'll beat the living crap out of you. And maybe we should have not tested all of our bombs on them and their children.

But anyway. Teenage Mutant Ninja kangaroos. Kangaroos. But they also will fuck your wife. I'm sure that's a fantasy for somebody out there. Oh yeah. They're all muscle. Do you remember Tank Girl?

Of course. I love Tank Girl. They're all kangaroos and that. I don't know if they want to fuck. That's one of those weird movies. Is Ice-T a kangaroo or a dog? Yes. I thought he was a dog.

I thought he was a kangaroo. He might be a kangaroo. But they also, it's weird because she wants to have sex with him the whole time. Yes, she's Tank Girl. I know, but he's a kangaroo. Yeah. But there's a water war going on. No more logic.

You're right. But of course, sadly, didn't know that was a documentary. There is a water war going on right now. I hate you. I've been wanting to get to this story, but then of course we did have to do a very important . I mean, it is very important. I just like to send our listeners after the truth.

That set me chills. That message. Use your number. Is there a barrier there? We could do some prank calls this weekend. Like when we do, what if we do that from stage? You can't. What if when we do, when we decide to do this live, we just do prank calls live?

No, because you can't, Henry, because someone looks at their smartphone, which is making us all dumber, and they say, oh, Henry's calling me. But no, what if you write, hey, no, this isn't Henry. What if you type in a bunch of random numbers and then we go like, oh, you bitch, for an hour. Well, this is maybe why we're having a difficult time moving tickets, but I don't know. No, they want to be a part of the experience. They might want to.

Again, can't wait to see you all at the Avalon. So this headline, I just love it. The headline is I drank a poop smoothie that gave me life threatening diarrhea for science. He is. And maybe this is something that you are doing right now for science. I wish I knew I was a volunteer. So this dude, he's 26 years old. His name is Jake Ebert.

You could also just refer to him as hero, but no, he is not here of the week, although he is in contention. He agreed to drink a life threatening concoction. It's cloudy, salty. It contained chagella bacteria, bacteria, bacteria, bacteria, bacteria, bacteria, bacteria, bacteria, which are usually found in poop. So the guy slammed it down. He downed a shot glass of it and then he got really sick and he did this at the University

of Maryland so they can research dysentery. But my question is he did good manners for the chagella vaccine, but don't we don't we know what like white? Like I feel like you get sick. Yeah. 2022. Yeah. It doesn't make you sick.

So do we do we need to have this? Obviously. Most likely broke. Maybe college student. 26 year old Jake Ebert. Oh yeah. Yeah, man. No.

It's actually very important. It's very, very important. It's to find out the effectiveness. What if he died? If he didn't. Huh. Then another hero. Another hero.

Wouldn't he be? Wouldn't they know? No. Because they have antibiotics to fix it. So what they did was they do already have it. What they're talking about is they're building a vaccine against it entirely. They're trying to end dysentery. That's the goal.

Is to end poopoo. The liquid poopoo. They want to end liquid poopoo. It's a war on liquid poopoo, which you and I lose three times a week. But what he had to do was, first of all, I got paid seven grand, which is a lot. But it was an 11 day study where every day you had to be isolated because you can actually get, do you know that? I actually, they said about this, is that certain types of dysentery are alert, not

all, you can give it to someone. They're contagious. You can just, oh man. I don't, I just want to play the Oregon Trail on my old PC. I don't want to live back then. I feel like I would enjoy it, but then that's just because I'm watching movies from the comforts of my home and then they always show you the best parts. They don't show you the liquid diarrhea that John Wayne had to take all the time.

Well, he also died of cancer because he was shooting movies on our, our version of nuclear test grounds. Absolutely. And of course, bigotry kills. So Eberts, he was one of 16 healthy young adults and so they found, man, look, what's the, hey, you want to drink liquid shit come this way? He said that he was literally brought into the fold by this ad, which is a parody of the Oregon Trail and it says Shagela vaccine research study.

You have died of dysentery. It says it on the thing. And he did this, he, he responded to that. He clicked on that. He volunteered. And apparently what he did was it. So they, God though, just the feeling of this, was he was in a hospital. We need to maybe, I don't want to segue this into anything serious, but maybe a living

wage. Maybe we could take this time to say, I really hope, I think the Amazon has busted all unions. It seems like when we have a population that is so desperate for any amount of money, they would drink a liquid shit. We should just give people money. I agree. Money is just points. Just give them more points.

Maybe give them some points. Some tickets so they can get their Xbox. Yes. But he went, he said that it was kind of very harrowing because he went to school. They have a picture of him drinking. The solution. Yeah. The solution.

It's like, he said it tasted like nothing that it was just, it was, they say, but it tasted like saline. And he said he took it and at first they look at you, right? So you have to sit in this room, you drink the bacteria and then they look at you. Yeah. And he said, he's like, yeah, I finally feel fine. About 40 hours went past and he said he felt like it was his whole body was taken over by the devil.

Oh, my God. Where he just had 103 degree fever by bloody stool, shoot, not either ends. They would come in, they'd give him like, what they said, he called sad Gatorade, which was no flavor. No flavor. They just gave him like a, like a rehydration solution. Like a pediolite. Yeah.

Like a pediolite, which you can get addicted to. I kind of like it. I love a good pediolite. Well, this is a quote from Ebert, and I am actually going to say he looks, he's a healthy looking guy. It kind of looks like a UFC fighter. Might not be the brightest ball, but who am I to tell? But this is what he had to say.

He says, I don't want to make myself out to be a Mother Teresa here. No. Because she shot herself out. She did that on purpose. What he said, I don't want to make myself out to be a Mother Teresa here. She would have done this for free. It's a big ask for someone to get dysentery. But now of course he's obviously, as I mentioned, not the brightest ball because Mother

Teresa did nothing for free. Nothing. No, she did it all for money. It was an entire con. She's a fucking scam. She's a fucking scam. Have fraudsters covered Mother Teresa yet? No.

We're going to get there though. No, don't worry. We're going to come for that little old fucking lady. I can't wait to rip her one or two new ones. Well, she's just full of lies. It's easy to do with her fragile skin. Well, she's long, long to see. No.

Ebert, she said, I just like the process of this. So every day, he had to believe himself in what they call is a toilet hat. They take out toilet hat, which I know what it is. They place it in a bio hair. So he had a shit in a toilet hat, and then he'd have to take this shit and put it in a biohazard bag and then they'd have to carry it down the hall to the researchers that would then take little scoops out of it. Hey, nurse Pam, what do you got there?

A new lunch, huh? Yeah. Yeah. It's called dynamic chocolate. Fantastic. Let me just put a little straw in there. Got you. Oh, man.

I got this and dirty. I knew it. We should. Didn't have that on my 2022 Bangkok. How are we going to delete it? Uh-huh. So he said, this is another quote. He said, the entire time I was like, wow, this is an awful disease.

And then he says, and then I just got really emotional, probably also because I was delirious about the thought of small children in developing war in the developing world. See? Dealing with this, which is very sad. He's an actual hero. He is. It's just, again, wow, I didn't realize that science, it never changes. He doesn't.

No, no, no. It's all experiments. And don't forget, doctors back in the day, they were grave robbers. They were very scared of them. And scientists were like, see, static demons from hell. They were all Dr. Satan from House of 1,000 Corpses, according to most people. But this is how the shit gets done. If you want to end poopoo on a mass scale, you're going to have to have brave volunteers

go in there, get the liquid shits, and then you're going to have to go in there with your sword and your shield, much like anybody does with that Elder Scrolls. As I've seen pictures of it, they go down there and they just go, I don't need a girlfriend. I have Elder Scrolls, and then one goes like, ah, I don't need a loving family or a job. I got Elder Scrolls, I'm a rogue. Well, it'll be great on your deathbed. You can think about all the fun games you played, but then, of course, you'll forget everything, and your life will have been wasted.

Look no further than one of our great friends. So apparently, 600,000 people die every year from Shagella bacteria. Yeah, man. And so their liquid shit ain't a joke, man. But why isn't, they got, I mean, I guess this is the research to make the vaccine. I feel like, you know, if there's 600,000 people that are going to die from it, can't you just go talk to one of them now? No, no, no, no, no.

Why would you have to give it this? If everybody, if 600,000 people have it, then you don't have to give it to somebody. Go to the person who has it. They are a bummer, my friend. He can't spend all day with one of these guys, old moaner, about like, I'm dying because you can't do anything for that guy. Yeah, you're supposed to save their life. No, no, no, by then it's too late for them.

You need somebody else. You need somebody who's fun to be around, somebody who can hang around. It's like, it's what? On auditions for? Yeah. You meet these guys. You're like, you know, I could spend 12 days, 12 hours a day with you, with you having dysentery because you've got a good attitude.

You know, and interestingly enough, and I didn't even realize that this sentence was ever going to be uttered out of my mouth, when it comes to the rotovirus or rotovirus, it's the second leading cause of diarrhea death. So apparently this is the first leading cause of diarrhea death. What's the first cause of diarrhea death? The number one is, uh, is a rotovirus. Oh, good go. Okay.

Shigella, step up your game. Number one, you're number two when it comes to the cause of diarrhea death, and then the number one is the rotovirus. I just nobody cares about the Dallas Cowboys of liquid shit. No, they don't. The Buffalo Bills perhaps. That's what I meant. That's what I meant.

See, though, I tried. You did a great job. And so apparently you get Shigella from drinking bad water, eating some bad food. And if you are into poo poo play, be very careful that you're not getting dumped upon by someone who has infected bowels. I'm taking this right down the pipe again. Listen, if you were going to be eating somebody's liquid shit, if you're going to be eating their shit, if you're going to be drinking in their piss, and I mean this, they have

to watch their diet. They really have to think about it. You can't just, it can't you be some rando. It needs to be some absolutely cryptic person that you know very well. Absolutely. But if the vaccines doesn't provide at least 50% production, then they're not going to go forward with it. Think about how many more asses can get eaten with that vaccine.

Yeah. Finally. So you can finally take your assholes of the world tour. You've been saying this about how you wanted to lick an asshole in every country. I have been saying that. You can get the vaccine and then you have that freedom kissle. You can go there and you can go from South Malaysia, Upper Malaysia. How many continents are there?

Seven. I think I've been, I think, I'm on it, I got the list going. I got the list going because what is Australia? Well, not Australia per se. Seven continents. Seven either way. Fuck in Christ. I'm so sad.

We'll get there. You're just, I spent hours reading UFO material. All right. I don't know anything about anything else. What really bothers me about this story is Ebert, again, the 26 year old hero that we're talking about. He was one of the unlucky ones who did not receive the placebo. My question is this.

You go in there, you get the placebo, you still get the seven grand? Yes. Because you're spending 11 days in the hospital. So that doesn't seem fair to me. No. You're spending your whole life. That's called every fucking day you wake up and you roll those fucking dice, you don't know what the hell is going to happen to you.

You don't know whether or not you're going to get killed walking across the street. You don't know if a piece of a plane's going to fall off in the sky and impale you while you're taking your kids to fucking Catholic school. You know what the hell is going to happen. You absolutely don't. That's why you have to live every day like it's your last. But there does not mean jerk off in public. That means try to.

Say hello to someone. There you go. You nailed it. Also, unless that means jerking off in public. So Ebert says, I truly could not move. And then he said, when he would go to the bathroom, he would play or a quote, Herculean effort. Oh, yeah.

And I don't remember that scene in Herculean. No. When he had to take the liquid dump. But you know, it was there. You know, it was there, especially the original one with Arnold Schwarzenegger because he was new to America. He says, he says, every moment in the bathroom to get up to wash my hands or to grab a paper towel.

I would lie back down on the ground and just sit there for five minutes and horrible, horrible experience. And he'd feel more ill than I did. And then they say, if he did get the vaccine, that is really bad news for the vaccine. So I don't even think he solved anything. No, because apparently they are looking for over. They need, and they have to have, obviously it has to be over 50 percent, but it's right now hovering around 70 percent efficacy, efficacy, efficacy, and it needs to get more than that.

Also, who's the person taking the pictures? He took himself. That's a selfie. That's a selfie. He took himself. He's just a well, he's a well, he's got a good attitude and he put it up on the internet and he had a good time with it. Yes, indeed.

He also wrote because now he has a fundraiser and he says, having had this absolutely awful disease and having recovered fairly quickly, thanks to the access to medical care, I really, really would like to use my 15 minutes of Twitter fame to help prevent it elsewhere. So this guy. That's really good. Quasay here of the week, but also. Not though. Not.

No. There's another one. You've chosen something else. Holy crap. And you wouldn't you believe it when it comes to his idea here before your fundraiser, 20 to 30 people have signed up. Oh, not doing well. It's not really taking off.

Well, it's because it's just money that's going to him, right? Or is he going to give it to people? I don't. I mean, at this point, he should just take it. Yeah, because. Yeah, he's just going to have to take it and just have to personally try to solve diarrhea within your community, which means you're going to have to go to that B dubs and close it down.

You're going to have to. Unfortunately, you're going to have to shut down the breakfast burrito at McDonald's. I was also at B dubs last night because they're all right by each other on Hollywood Boulevard. Dave bus. I went to the third quarter at Dave and Buster's. No, yes. No, I ended at Dave and Buster's. I went to watch the third quarter at B dubs.

They closed a little early and then I went to Dave and Buster's. Wow. Isn't that fun? I mean, you talk about just get your fill of microplastics. I didn't say that. I think I'm really, it's really important. Well, as we all know, now more plastic, we got to slow this sperm down. Slow it down.

Anyway, good for you, buddy. I just feel like don't bring it up on the first day like because Andy Warhol, everyone's going to get their 15 minutes. I don't think that he had, maybe they slammed down one of the, one of the Campbell suits. This is the 15 minutes. This is his 15 minutes. Yes. He seems pretty relaxed with it.

I mean, I'm just, we'll wait to, to the next direction. If he shows up at the next insurrection, then we'll see. That's a, now we see everybody's, every Twitter celebrity's arc. If you don't end up at some point being like, stop the steal, whether it's like, you know, someone's literally stealing bread from your home. I don't know. You wait. There's going to be a lot of civil unrest in the future.

Very much so. Yeah. So you're going to do Hero of the Week? Let's do Hero of the Week. It was kind of like that. The last guy was also sort of a hero. He was a hero. I got two of them.

So everyone was sending me this one story, a pet duck, right? So there's this duck and, and then it went through. This is actually a hero. So the pet duck led to a woman's body under a home. Now this is my question. So can I just ask this, does the duck have anything to do with the murder? We don't know that. And as we know, ducks have a very dark sense of humor.

They do. And we don't know, and they're dangerous. I freaking, all foul scare me. They really do. They're horrifying. They're a hero. Well, um, so he was ducking around, just being a duck, and then all of a sudden he's like, I can't do a Donald Duck voice.

We don't know how to do it. I can't do it. No, it's IP. That's IP. That's IP. Don't even think about doing it. We're going to be sued into oblivion. You're right.

So he ducked around and found out. He did. So Angela Wamsley and Mark Barnes are now charged with murdering Wamsley's grandmother, Nellie Sullivan. Oh, so he's a norc. He's a duck. And so Sullivan, this is the dumbest murder ever. Not that any murder isn't stupid, but the grandmother was in her nineties.

Yeah. Don't kill her, man. You have a maximum 10 years that you have to deal with it. But let's be honest, odds are she wasn't going to be making it that much longer, but I guess they just couldn't deal with her. So it became pretty apparent that almost immediately the Miss Sullivan had disappeared under what can now be said suspicious circumstances also. If you don't know, oh my God, this is going to sound very blue, but 90 year olds, right?

They die all the time. Yeah. If you are going to don't, don't dismember them. Like honestly, all you have to do is like layer in bed. That's literally all you have to do is put a pillow over her face. You literally like, this is that's the truth. If you want to kill your grandma and you don't want anybody to know, you just put a pillow over her face and she goes to sleep.

You know what happens? Natural causes. Yeah. Just like that. That's it. Because they know when it comes down to it, they're not going to do an autopsy. You can even crush up a bunch of her medication and put it in her coffee and stuff. Man, I didn't know what she was up to.

She had no fucking clue what she was eating. She thought it was chocolates. She took twice of what she was supposed to take. She doesn't know. Grandma's, oh, grandma's dead. Oh. Practice. Oh no.

No. Grandma's dead. Meanwhile the ducks watching the whole time, taking fucking notes, being like I know exactly what's going on. You can't trust. This is what I'm saying, man. This is a problem. You can't trust a bird in your own home.

You can't trust on this, of course. Obviously you chose the hero of the week, so immediately I have to find it to be a villain. I don't want to. The grandmother also had dementia. She had a bunch of health issues. Oh my God. You put a letter towards the highway. Honestly, it could have just dropped her off somewhere.

But anyway, so the duck solved the murder kind of. No. Duck-y in a duck-ish kind of way. Wait a second. Okay. And then actually can you read then figure. So the duck was just outside and they saw a duck and they're like, where's the duck going?

That's it? Okay. So they had to go like quack, quack, and then and point at the log. Well, we can continue then, but come be county. That's where all this takes place. Investigators say a pet duck helped locate the body of this murdered woman. Now how did the duck do it? Well, the duck, let's see here.

Because that's the central crux of this, of like, so did the duck talk? Did the duck say, did the duck right in the dirt look under this log? Apparently, the duck ran underneath the trailer at 11 B.D. Eyed Lane. It's literally called B.D. Eyed Lane. That's where your grandmother goes to die. It's horrible.

So they saw a duck. And they said, okay. So where's that duck going? Where's that duck going? Apparently, the duck ran underneath the trailer at 11 B.D. Eyed Lane. And as they were chasing after their pet duck, they ran across the container that Nelly Sullivan was located in.

If I could give it that, and this is what everybody says, if I could give that duck a medal, I would. For what? For being a duck. And dare I say, you can. Yeah, sure. Yeah, of course. You can waste your fucking money by giving the duck something that doesn't know what

it is. And just last, the hero, the U.S. military, gosh, what do they do with that bloated budget of theirs? 1945 American GIs, they stole a birthday cake from a 13-year-old Italian girl. This is when we denied the Italians, because they were very pro-Nazi. Yeah, they partnered with the Nazis. Exactly. But 77 years later, the Department of Defense found some room in the budget.

What? And they gave this chick her birthday cake back. Now, this is my question. I thought that that might have been euphemism for something far more nefarious. No. So they went and stole her birthday cake. But no, no, they just took two jerrys. No, no, that was you guys.

They had two old-fashioned Joe's. American heroes. American heroes. They saw, they actually stole a cake. From a 13-year-old girl. Exactly. I was supposed to say that the U.S. military in this action is a hero because they are just apologizing for a cake stolen already.

They didn't just buy a random Italian woman a cake just to say thanks for being Italian. She's 90 years old now. And so for the ceremony, National Archives workers dug up photographs from the battles in and around Vincenza, which I'm sure she wants to see. You're 90 years old. Isn't that nice? You remember? Remember when everyone died?

Remember when you were? Remember when you were? Anyway. So she's 90 years old. And she's still bringing up this cake? She would never let it go. I know. That's the thing.

We forgot my mom's birthday. We did not get my mom a birthday cake one year. And that became... It's the battle. It's the, it's the, the, the, was it the Tonkin, Bay of Tonkin? Battle of the Tonkin. It's just the idea of like with the Lusitania, when they sunk the Lusitania, it's a big moment in our family.

I'm not saying it's, it was just such a big moment. It's just such a blight on the record of my home. Why didn't you use your mom that birthday cake? This is what I'm saying. It was a very hard time. And my father was allowed to be drunk once a year at that time period. And that it all lined up, didn't it? And oh, it was bad.

Oh, it was bad. Well, according to Sergeant Peter Wallace, he says, it was a little awkward, but it makes me feel great to give her the cake. Yeah. Cause she was like, who are you? Yeah. Why are you here? Are you come?

Basta Americano. Yes. I'm sure she wasn't too thrilled. Yeah. They probably terrified when these military men showed up at her house, just being like, cause first of all, like, here's a cake and you're like, is it a bomb? Right. And then it's surrounded by old photos of all your relatives.

Look at the drama. Look at this. You remember when you were Nazis? This is what she said. She says, tomorrow we will eat that dessert with all my family remembering this wonderful day that she said she'll never forget again until she does, because she will. Bringing up that cake. Because she's 90.

Anyway, so the Department of Defense, you're here over the week. I'm so upset. It's not nice cause they gave that woman that they stole the cake from. Your cake back 77 years later. I'm so upset. Yeah. It's just so, so many things that could be fixed. Right?

But one at a time. One at a time. One 90 year old woman at a time. You think it's just Joe Biden's looking to bang? Yeah. Let me be clear. Bring that Italian whore over here. I can't wait for Biden's bang bus.

It's going to be a fantastic tour. It's going to be, the worst part is the beep, beep, beep as it has to get down so you get the wheelchair up on it. Absolutely. And that's about access. Yes. Yes. We need more ADA access in this country.

All right, Henry. What have we got for letters? Let me read this fucking letter. This is about geoengineering and it's going to be fascinating. Okay. All right. Last week's episode, you guys talked about geoengineering and asked if anybody knew anything about it.

Well, as one of the people who so unfortunately has to have the research, all of geoengineering's realisticness and a scientific context, I feel I should respond to extremely oversimplify my job. I tell aerospace companies if their ideas are good or not. A few years ago, a company asked if geoengineering was realistic and or reasonable. The resounding answer was no. Why? There are two major areas in geoengineering that I studied, change the atmosphere and

change the amount of sun the earth receives. Changing the atmosphere entails either pumping gas into the atmosphere that would reflect sunlight like the opposite of a greenhouse effect or pumping chemicals into the ocean to increase oxygen production by ocean algae. So this is what they're thinking about, huh? We're taking charge. Wow. The ocean thing is a terrible idea as proven by an attempt a few years ago off the Pacific

Northwest that failed and actually made things worse. How do people who are smart become so dumb? They just have big ideas. Yeah. Like me, people talk about how every community should have a tank. I think that's a great idea. That's the 1033 programs they all do. But we should know.

But the people, again, you could. You could. You could get one. Every neighborhood should have a person that is allowed to command the tank and it is decided by block. Each block votes per month who gets to man the tank and that tank is supposed to be used to defend the neighborhood if the cops decide to go into martial law. Is it weird?

I think that's kind of a small idea. But yes, think locally, act globally. Is that it? Where are you flipping? I think that's right. To continue. So the problem is that once we start to try to change the amount of sun that hits the earth, that's when the wheels really fall off.

The general concept is that humans should somehow put reflective or blocking material around the earth to reduce the amount of sunlight that we get, think a less aggressive version of the Terminator Apocalypse. Oh, great. One such concept is to place thousands of mirrors into orbit around the earth. The exact quote from the paper that suggested this was quote, thousands of mirrors in underlined random orbits, which for space people is the scariest possible sentence you've ever heard. Placing things in random orbits is not advised, as those random orbits tend to collide with

things that we care about, bye bye GPS, cell phone signal and weather monitoring. The other idea to reduce the sunlight reaching earth is to put a cloud of moon dust in between the earth and the sun. Now the paper does not get into how they would do that or how you gather the moon dust. We've got to get a big broom. Oh, and you'd be like in space balls, with a big vacuum cleaner. It went from suck to blow and that's the thing, because then it goes out, because then they would say, then how do you put the moon dust out, how do you make sure the moon dust then

stays in place, but who cares about these details? Oh, they're pretty big ones. Weas are details for some other fucking earth. Macro details. I never did, but I do think it's interesting. I know that in Texas, yes, all of this is horrible, blah blah blah, but I think it's interesting and I think the idea of really thinking past our bullshit, how do we, how do, how does humankind enter the universe?

How do we travel the stars? Well, I think we could probably just kind of leave the sun alone for the most part. I say the sun should pay. Yeah. Bomb the sun. That is a fun idea. I watched space balls before I watched Star Wars. Oh, yes.

I don't know if it ruined Star Wars for me, but the entire time I was like, space balls is better. Oh, yeah, it is. I do like it. And now when I was around seven years old, this is a ghost story. When I was around seven years old, my mom was studying for her master's degree in archeology and as she is originally from Mexico, decided to specialize in Mayan and Aztec archeology. One time, Willse, my mom and myself were on holiday in Mexico.

She booked a tour of an Aztec pyramid, can't remember which one, that was organized by one of her friends who was quite high up in the academic research area about Mayans and Aztecs. Okay. My mom asked if she could bring me along and they agreed. Willse on the tour, we had exclusive access inside the pyramid and a full tour of the location along with a few other archeologists. Now, afterwards, my mom invited them all to lunch at the hotel we were staying in nearby

as a thank you. As my mom knew I'd be bored whilst they were chatting over lunch, she let me buy a notebook and pen from the gift shop for me to draw in. Simpler times. Simpler times. Now, here is the creepy part. As we were sat at lunch and I was doodling some random patterns in the notebook, one of the archeologists looked over to me and asked if they could see what I was drawing.

After picking up the notebook, he asked me, where did you see these symbols? And I said, I didn't. I just made them up. After I said that, the archeologist suddenly said that they had to leave and they left quickly. Anyway, it turns out I drew the nine symbols of the nine layers of the underworld that are in the Aztec belief system, all in the correct order. Cool.

Maybe it was just a coincidence, or maybe an Aztec ghost wanted to say hello from beyond the grave. Whoa. That's awesome. Or it just shows you how easy it is to make a bioglyphic. Well, that's the thing, because the people that made it. You can just make it up. And then these guys, all they do all day long is stare at them.

Absolutely. Right? And so eventually they're like, here is one. Yeah. They're like, you did it again. You did it again. Yeah. People are, you know, we're not that unique.

Parallel thinking. Indeed. Maybe she's being Carlos Mencia. Do you remember? Oh, I loved that when people took that stand up so seriously. Yeah, man. They treated it like it was bigger than Iraq wars. It's really not.

It's really not. The Afghanistan wars, one, two, three, four. Remember, Netflix is a joke. Come and see us over at Friday at the Avalon. It is going to be a rip roar in time. We're just going to read their stock reports. I am upset. I am upset because, and they just announced that they're cutting back on stand up specials

as well. Also, we will be giving out our passwords. So you guys can have those. You can have those. You can have those. We should all just have one as a listening community. I agree. All of the last podcast.

And you're going to love our new community outreach. You're going to love. Mm-hmm. No, I get to reverse it. Okay. You're going to live. You're going to live it. And you're going to live knowing that you just got Netflix for free from the two grooviest

denim clad fuckers you ever met in your life. And you're going to just fucking laugh about it. Every time you're going to sit, you know, you're going to sit and watch some of your favorite comedies like come and see that Polish film about about war. Sure. You'll see all of the everybody else's favorite comedies like hereditary. Every movie that came out 20 years ago, you'll have it right there. Absolutely nothing but the premium.

The premium original programming that Netflix makes up and then cancels a year and a half later. So you then can't watch a show that has no ending. But don't forget, they also don't pay their act as well. They don't pay their act as well. They're associated with residuals and you're going to love knowing for a fact is another way that Netflix has replaced all the studios and a new and inventive ways of screwing people over.

But guess what? We're there making money from for them. So I'll see you there. Netflix is a joke. Netflix is a joke Friday. Can't wait to see you. Yes. It'll be nice.

You know, man. And yeah, we can't wait to see you on Friday. And I promise by then I'm not going to have a bellyache. I hope that my side is cleared up too. I feel like Letterman over here. Jesus. It's fine. All right, everyone.

You just sat in a car. No, no. We need to stretch. I know. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Hail ourselves. It's my pleasure.

Hail me. Absolutely. And Marcus is going to be back this week. Yeah, he's going to be fucking back. He's going to have any choice. Stronger than ever. I will. He'll be back.

He'll be in a chair. You'll see it. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.