Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Unc Stories - How to be Unc 101

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

This week on Side Stories, it’s Oops! All Unc Corner. Welcome to Unc Stories - How to Be Unc 101, where the stories get longer, the advice gets louder, and everything somehow used to cost five bucks. Pull up a chair. It’s time to learn what it really takes to become “Unc”. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. All right.

To begin today's chopped unc themed episode of side stories, I've decided to bring you in on very intimate process. Hold on. I'm trying to buy Bonnie Ray tickets. I know, no. I know. Don't get me going. Don't get me too excited because I'm about to do what all of you are afraid to do. Oh, here we go. I'm about to do what you all are afraid to do.

Now, my blood pressure is probably going to be a little higher than it should be because I have had coffee already. You've had coffee, and you're working on your blood pressure. I think that's one thing people don't understand. I'm working on it. He's working on his blood pressure. So let's see where it is. I shouldn't even done that. All right, so before we begin, can you hit me with my new panfluits?

You got new panfluits? My union brothers. Where's my Muayun brothers? You don't have it ready to go. Hold on. Henry, Rob, please. Get the Munion Brothers fast. No, I'm supposed to...

Are you supposed to give him a fucking moon moon? Okay, here we go. You feel better? All right. And now... Henry's checking his blood pressure. This usually takes a full minute. He is at more peace right now than he usually.

is. I will say that. I got my new Yeti. It's green. I like that it's green. And it's cute. Really, the Yeti, there is no substitute to keep your drinks warm or cold than a Yeti. And this coffee, I actually poured this hours ago and it's still warm. So enjoy your life. How much longer you got on your blood pressure there? Oh, I'm sorry. I know we're not supposed to talk during it. while you're talking about that, I guess I could mention, what do I got here? Oh, I got, here's some real unc stuff that I found. This is 1986 coins. Yeah, these are dollar coins and 50 cent coins from the year 1986 that are, these are going to be worth money someday.

So I got these. These are 40-year-old coins that I brought in. 131 over 70. That's not bad. Slightly elevated still, but you know, Henry, that's not bad. It could be worse. It could be a lot worse.

Welcome to Unc Stories. You're sitting here with Papa Unk, Henry Zabrowski, and baby Unk, Ed Larson. I'm older than you. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but we decided because we're going on break for a little bit. we wanted to give you guys like a look in to what our lives are really like.

Yeah. And what we really deal with here. And I think that a lot of you, you're like, where's the stories? You guys just talk about stuff that doesn't matter. You're a bunch of old men, just jabbering into microphones. And it's like, yeah. Yeah. The thing is, like, we understand.

We, a better way to say it is, We get bitched at for being unks. Yeah. And then we're like, oh, maybe we should try not to be. And then one day, Henry and I decided like, no, we are that. If I, I am not going. People already listening to the show. Yeah, it's too late for you.

And also, I'm not going to pretend to be young, all right? I'm not, I'm not a neo-Nazi like Andrew Schultz. No. All right? I'm not going to start saying no cap. You could. That would be, and I should on God. Bet.

That's over already, I think. Bet. But the thing is, is that the key here. is that we want to celebrate who we are. All right? Not who we think that you want us to be. And I think that's important for anybody that either is a unk,

which is now I understand is a derogatory term, or anybody who wants to live an unk lifestyle. Is it a derogatory term? In a way, yes. I know that unk is supposed to be like, it is cutesy from a younger perspective because they think they're so cute. and they're right all the time, even though the young people

can't fucking read and they vote for Nazis. Yeah. Now, as far as unks are concerned, are unks considered... I love this. I'm finally going to letting this go today. I don't got to worry about anybody's opinions today. It's on today. We're full unc, dude. We actually, we should be drunk. God, I should be drunk. We should be drunk right now.

It's a little early, though. Even for an unc. Just straight up, because like... If I was younger, I'd be drunk. Oh, yeah, absolutely. If we work, that shows that's called responsibility. But technically, if we were real unks, we would have showed up drunk. Yeah. We'd just drive home.

Yeah, exactly. No, no, no, no. Yeah. We'd make sure we gave our keys to someone to make sure we didn't drive home and then take those keys when those people weren't paying attention and then just disappeared. Just leave. Yeah, that's real unk behavior. Yeah, that's what my father would do.

Yeah. Now, I don't know if I already asked this or not, because my brain's a sieve. Are unks childless? Like the stereotype unk. That's a good question. Side stories L-POTL at gmail.com. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, like real unk is childless

because otherwise you're a dad right? According to AI, which I always agree with, it is unk is, you do not have to be childless. Oh, okay. It says here, they will call

you as a younger people might still jokingly call you, unc as a form of teasing or respect. It is about age and vibe. You reach unk status simply by being perceived as older, often anyone born before the year 2000 or even in their late 20s.

Before the year 2000. I'm going to put it this way. You guys in your late 20s, that's another thing. I'm corner right here. You ain't shit about shit, dude. It was actually an admirable term from the urban community at one point. At one point, but we are not of the urban community, Rob.

We are white men. Okay, so it's bad. It means bad things. But for us, I think the key is to remember, I am sick. of you like, I'm sick of the post being like, I'm old, I'm almost 30. It's like, bro, that was when I had the first time I had money in my life, I was party in my fucking brains out.

I was having the time of my fucking life at 30. Get out of your fucking house, you fucking useless losers. Honestly, 40's better than 30. 40 is better, but that's a secret. Yeah, yeah, well, I just told everybody. I know, but they don't know. But also, it comes with a lot of horrible shit. 30 is kind of embarrassing.

See, you say 30's kind of embarrassing. I think 20's embarrassing. 20, you know, you're too drunk and fucked up to even be embarrassed. 30, I was starting to finally sort of come online as a human being. Yeah, people expect stuff out of you in your 30s. But this idea of like 30s are so mature. Like, yeah, maybe if you live in fucking Wichita, when I was 13, we weren't even,

although my friends had kids to like eight years later. Yeah, right? We were having a great time. No, no, our friends that didn't have kids to their 40s. I fucking had a great time. So that's why anybody was like, people calling anybody Unk who's like 29 years old, you yourself are a moron.

Yeah. All right? You're a fucking moron. You could be an uncle at 29. Shit, you could be an uncle at 12. Yeah, sure. But you're not an unk until you're 41. I'm going to ask you, here's a question.

How many times we eat an egg salad? How many times a week? Yeah. I mean, I probably eat egg salad three times a month. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah, that's how much, that's how often I eat egg salad. So you're saying I'm eating a lot of egg salad. I think you do.

You're on a monthly basis. Henry's on a weekly basis. Three times a month. Three times a month. Three times a month. Less than a week. Less than once a week. Buddy, I'm eating it. I'm eating it two or three times a week. Well, if I buy like a little thing egg salad, then I'm eating in a bunch. But or if I make it, I'm eating it a bunch. The thing is, how much to make. You don't, you can't make egg salad for one sandwich. You can't? You do that? Yep.

Just for one sandwich? I don't even use a sandwich. How many eggs? Three to four. Three to four? He does a small batch. Okay. Yeah, and then I just eat that out of a bowl with a spoon.

All right. Now, is it just eggs, mayonnaise, salt, and pepper? You add some stuff to it. You know what I'm doing now? What? What I do is I get four eggs? No, I'm not big in a dough. You don't fuck with the dill?

Nah, I'm not big in a dill. I do four eggs, then shot of mayonnaise out of a shot glass. Oh, really? out of a literally eight sometimes we'll use a shot class I use so one ounce yep then um dijon and then I add uh go to jang okay I'm gonna add in some gochi jong it really adds to it and I eat it as a way to try to get because my doctor told me I'm supposed to be consuming a hundred ninety five grams of protein a day but then they also say that your blood pressure is really high but it's not about see those two are not they're not they're not they are mutually exclusive

I'm pretty sure high blood pressure and egg salad are friends. According to my doctor, from what I seem to adjudicate, it's salts, right? So I don't put salt in it, and I don't react to salt. My sodium's real low. My sugars are real low. Okay. Right. My cholesterol is wildly high, but technically, I just got my blood test done,

eating egg salad two to three times a week, right? For about a year. I'm not even fucking exaggerating. My cholesterol went down. Really? Yeah. It went down. My cholesterol went down.

Just eating egg salad. I'm healing. What'd you cut out? What'd you replace the egg salad with? Just straight beef? Well, the problem before is I think I was adding... There was something I was adding. Yeah.

And I know what it was. But it's not the egg salad. Certainly not the egg salad. According to evidence. If I have a forensic Healed you I think it got you moving in the right direction And then soon you're going to have to cut out egg salad

If they take egg salad for me I'm I'm gonna go I'm literally going to kill people in a square Here's something that I realized about myself food wise I think knock on wood I think I'm immune to gout You know that they should have gotten it by now

Oh no buddy I should be Eddie You don't know the science now? No. Dude, we're free. What do you mean? Gout's a genetic disease. Well, my dad had it.

Yeah, but you didn't get the gene. I guess not. Yeah, no, because I eat the fuck out of shrimp. See, it's not just, but it's not really shrimp. You know that, right? What is it? It's not seafood. It's beef and it's pork and tam.

It's high fats. It's creams. It's alcohol. But it does seem like if you talk to some people from the research I've done, because, again, I should have, I should have gout. If it was based on shrimp and Crabbs and crawfish, my feet should be the size of watermelons. I eat a pound of shrimp about a week.

Yeah, I could see, I eat about a pound of shrimp a week. I eat a lot of shrimp. Probably more. And I eat a lot of eggs. I eat a lot of shrimp. That is, I think I eat a lot more shrimp than I eat. I think shrimp is my most consumed meat. It's my favorite meat.

I'd pump it up into a wish. Maybe turkey is close. When you did that, you showed that shrimp sausage the other day, I was like, oh, yeah. That should look good, dude. I love. You ever had shrimp sausage? I've had it once, but like, not. enough. I love the sweet meat of a shrimp. It really is just perfect. It's the perfect

protein. You ever had a shrimp burger? Yes. God, I love a shrimp burger, dude. Yeah. Shrimp toast. Oh, shrimp toast is unbelievable. When you grind up the shrimp. Grinding up shrimp is my favorite chip in roll. People don't realize that you can grind up the shrimp and it still cooks. People are fucking stupid. That's what that. That's why I do. They are. You know, if you do want to cook some shrimp, I suggest you use Chef Paul Promenade. So a part of what today is involving, just so you know, You'd have to go over on Netflix. It's just where the videos are, okay? I can't do anything about the fucking right now, okay?

So what you're going to do is you're going to go watch it, and you see what we're doing here is Eddie brought some of his most unk items to the table. Now, I do think that some of this is up for debate. Because you're saying that the chef Prudome spice blends are unk. Absolutely. See, I will see. I go to the website. I don't buy this at the store.

No, I go to the website, Eddie. I go to the website. I have the same thing in my house. Yeah, and I order multiple different Cajun spices for different meats. I have the black and redfish spice. I have the shrimp spice. I have the shrimp spice is good. I got the jerk spice.

Do you have the salmon spice? No, I use this for the salmon. Salmon's good spice for salmon. I like the redfish. Try the salmon spice. I don't know. I'm pretty addicted. Try the salmon spice.

Do you have the poultry spice? I do. Okay, good. I also have the pork and veal. spice, which is really good on chicken as well. Their hot sauce is really good. Really? And you know you can order sausage from them. See, this is the only

question is, I do feel like we're going to get some pushback on this because I think that this is also, we're heading into mom talk as well. Oh, mom talk isn't about Cajun season. Moms don't believe side stories L POTL and gmail.com. This is for the grill. I want to know this. Mom's cooking the kitchen. I cook outdoors.

No, this is for the kitchen. I mean, I use it there, too. I used to the kitchen. I'm mostly cooking the kitchen. Really? I believe in many cultures, they say this. The cooking is extremely masculine. Oh, it is. I mean, well, you go to restaurants and all the cooks are men. But that's just because of sexism and misogyny of capitalism.

And culturally, though, it is concerned in cultures. They view cooking as a very masculine activity. Yeah, I'd say that I think as far as cooking and kitchens go, in the kitchens I've been in, it's mostly men. But whenever I hire a woman, they're usually the best cook in the kitchen. Of course. but they normally can't handle... They want too many days off. Yeah, because they're all fucking getting all...

They're all getting psychological tortured all the time. Yeah, and the bodies are filled with. They care about their families. Yeah, all that kind of horseshit. They want to spend time with people they love. Fuck that, dude. That's not Unk. No.

Unk is finding ways to not see them, dog. Yeah, that's sitting in the car too long. Oh, man, I sit my new car? Yeah, you come home and you don't necessarily get out of the car immediately. I don't. And you just kind of sit there for a little bit. I do. Maybe make a call or just finish a song.

I don't like... That's unk behavior. I sit in silence. Yeah. It's good. Oh, I do that at home. Does anybody else a silence, unc? I'm a full silence unc. I do a lot of silence at the house, looking at walls, laying on my back on the floor, just looking at the ceiling. Sometimes I go for a walk, I don't listen to anything.

Really? No music, nothing. See, I always got music on. I love blasting my bullshit, but I make my playlist. I make my jazz playlist, and I make my classic rock playlist. I feel like that's unk behavior. It is unc behavior. Because it's like I'm just starting to make playlists, but I haven't done it in quite a bit. I used to do it when I was a younger man.

Yeah. But then I stopped and now I'm doing it again. Not to get too much into the show and tell. I mean, I guess I brought it all here. You did. I have this cassette player, but I did recently buy a Walkman. I know, which is like we all really. I went back and I bought a cassette only Walkman with the headphones.

I hate the one. Not the in ear. No, the ones that sit on top with the yellow. Yes. Oh, with the yellow cushions. No, it looks great. I love it. And then can I show you the cassettes that I?

brought. Please see now. This is real. This is some real stuff. I bought this at Midsummer Scream. I haven't listened to it yet, but it is the soundtrack to the Geiver. Wow. Shout out to Screaming Mad George. Oh, really sad that he died. Passed away in February. We had no idea. This is the only movie he ever directed. It's classy. They also

did, what's this but you know who else died? Lead dude from Fantasm. Really? Yeah. The big tall guy? No. The little guy that's stuck in his skirt? The main guy. The ball? the main guy, Reggie? I know, I know. The main guy, he died? Yeah, it's really sad.

No, that's sad. Now, I mentioned this guy on the upcoming episode of last podcast. I bring him up. But yeah, a little Stevie Van Zand. His solo stuff, I got a lot of solo. So I want people to realize that buying cassettes isn't about just buying the stuff you like. It's about buying the stuff that you've never heard of from the people you like. And then you hold on to it.

And you don't listen to it that much. See, Eddie is really good at that. That is a thing I don't really understand. Like, Eddie will, Eddie's got a deep knowledge of bands, and you know what their names are, and you know their side projects. Yeah, I like to do that.

Because there's always, like, one, at least one good song on all these albums. This one, you love, Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons's greatest hits. I mean, they're really good songs. They're really good songs. Frankie Valley, retired, and then unretired. Yeah.

Because he knows the second he's not have a show to do, he's going to die. No, that is exactly what's going to happen to it. Don't we want to just let him go? Doesn't he want to go? No, Frankie's holding on for dear life. Frankie Valley looks like he is trapped in a dying Evangelian machine. He looks like he's in a dying mecca.

He wasn't shot in the head by the mob a long time ago, and so he's going to keep living. Yeah. Here's, I think, the ultimate unc cassette. It's volume, I think, volume three of Nuggets. Nuggets. Nuggets Volume 3. This is true, Unk. See, Nuggets.

was like, Nuggets went from, because this is an example, I think that what we're seeing here, Eddie, is that Nuggets, when we first discovered Nuggets as our friend's group in our mid-20s, it was like cool at the time to be young and into psychedelic 60s music, right? Because it kind of felt like a... Well, that's what we thought because we were doing. And we were on a lot of drugs and we were having a great time. We were cool then.

And then it's funny because to me, it went away. then it came back. And then all of a sudden, now I'm back there listening to that music, but now I'm as old as musicians playing it. Yeah. See, Nuggets is a very important compilation in case you don't know of Garage Rock. And basically, there is nothing that holds these

songs together. None. But they are amazing. It's a great compilation. There's multiple albums. But just some of the, we got Lies by the Knickerbockers. We got, we got sugar and spice by the Cry and Shames. Oh, that's actually a good song. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. This is really good. I feel good.

I feel bad by the Lewis Clark Expedition. I mean, these are songs you really can't find anywhere else. Let her dance by the Bobby Fuller Four. That's a special song. These are all musics that Natalie makes me shut off. And that's how you know it's own music because your wife won't

like it. And that is the whole point of this. The whole point is to live... Red rubber ball. Oh. Like, I know that that the sun it is he had his eyes close at the time so it's just interesting because it can't the thing about Unk is that it has to

kind of make somebody else angry yeah no you have to be it has to be slightly antagonistic why though? Because you got to show everyone that you're better than them but I feel like it's not even matter what I do I'm better than you see I feel like you say it's better than them and it's more to me it's like I survived. Yeah. I survived. You could start to see why as guys get old. The one thing about hitting this stage of life is that I can start to see why some guys get worse as they get older. Because it's easy to see, oh man, everything's kind of like, I'm, I'm scary to some people.

Like, I'm frightening. Yeah. You know, and then the guy's clinch. Live from your grave. You know, honestly, I recently was spending some time in Seaside Heights, New Jersey, trying to have a decent time out. Stop bragging. And I realized that the people, when I was younger, I used to be scared of the youngsters. And now that I'm older, I'm scared of the men slightly older than me. I don't like men.

Yeah. I don't want to be anywhere near men. It's weird, which is anti-unk. But you say this. But I feel like that's. new unk because a part of what I don't want to do, I don't, I, I'm not, we're not big sports guys anymore.

No, even though I do have my couple Damarino things here. You have to have that. Yeah, that's, that's just, right. These are about the toys. Yeah. That some Unks have. Natalie, I was like talking with her about my unk stuff on what should I bring in. She's like, you don't have any really toys. I was like, I don't. But I have a blood pressure machine. You have a blood

pressure machine. Yeah, and I have this cream that I'm supposed to be using that's still in the packaging. What is the cream for? I got these, like my elbows, getting a little chafed here. And so I got to put this cream on. And I used one of them and it went away, but now it's starting to come back and I got to use the cream again. This cream, unfortunately, it's called, oh, Jesus, Triam Cyniclone.

I don't know. Who gives a fuck? That's what they told me to take. But I got to, like, wash my hands immediately after using it. Yeah, it's a hormone cream. Yeah, it's really fucked up and it's really intense. So I don't use it as much as I should. You don't use it at all.

You had something not even opened, right? Well, I had other ones. They gave me three of these. Yeah, yeah, I've used one of them, and then I stopped because it healed, but now it's coming back. You know what's really sad is to, when you type onk into the internet, and there's all these articles of the worst people that you've ever seen talking about, they are, like, it's from a almost academic point where they're like, this is why your child is calling. you unk. And it makes me sad for other people at our age. Yeah, you guys don't know shit about shit. If you guys can't know, like, listen, I know

I hear the new slang and the best part about the new slang and stuff like that is that anytime I want to, I can go and learn the new slang and then I can use it on you as a younger person to destroy it. I can take it, absorb your culture. mirror it back to you and that makes it less good. Yeah, no, old people ruined emojis. Oh my God, it's hard.

Emmojis were the kids thing and they owned it and then we wanted to talk to the kids so we started using emojis. And now we're the only ones using the emojis. Yeah. And now people make fun of us for using the emojis and it's like learn to read. Yeah. Why, you can make fun of me when you learn to read. Stop tapping the table.

No. I will not. I brought three other cassettes. I just want to mention what they are. The Dickie Betts band, you know what Dickie Betts is? No. He was part of the Allman Brothers, and then he got kicked out, and so he started his own band. Great.

Someone actually made me a cassette of the brighter side. Look at that. Isn't that cool? That is true on status. That is true on status. I have a cassette of myself. That is amazing. And then Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Ragged Glory, though.

That's a good, interesting. It's a bad album. It's a bad album. But Uncle John, or, no, Father John, a great album. Yes. A great song. Great song. Bad album.

This isn't his best work. But Father John is great. Mansion on the Hill is good. Yeah, this is all stuff that like Natalie would pick up the... If you put that in that little recorder, she'd pick it up and she'd throw it out the window. White lines good, but fucking up,

you want to like it because it has the word fucking it, but it's not that good of a song. No, it's just very bad. See, I was kind of figure out like, so what's my own stuff? Yeah, what is your unc stuff? Well, I feel like the most upsetting thing I have would be considered that?

Yeah, because of... In a way. Well, it's because of who I am and also because unks are, I think, the one purpose we're supposed to serve, especially as childless men, to other people with children eventually, is we're supposed to be the people that your children come to when they've done something illegal. Yeah. The things that they come to us for when they want something illegal. Experience, yeah.

When they want to see something scary, when they want to see something that legitimately will make them kind of upset, but also they're highly interested in. And I figure that would be a good thing for me. I feel like I could fit into that role very easily. And a part of it is because I still, I brought the only thing I've never shown on the show. Okay. I've never shown this on the show. And it's a show appropriate?

Yes. Okay, cool. It's more than show appropriate. What is it? It is my OG John Wayne G. John Wayne G.C. drawing that I have. Whoa. So I have a real.

He drew that. Yes. John Wayne G. Gacy touched that paper. Yes. So this is John Wingase's drawing. I have this in a drawer in the back of my house. It's evil-looking, too.

Yeah. Usually his stuff's kind of like, kind-looking. Well, it's fake. It's all done paint by number of stuff. This is something he actually scrolled on with his own hands. Wow. When he did this in prison. No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if he had art before. No, no, no. This is where in prison. This was given to me for my 30th birthday, speaking of. Wow. This was given to me by Shane Morton for my 30. That's unbelievable.

Is that worth money? I have no idea. I guess it's only worth what it's on the back there. It's the authentication. Authentication of John Wing-Gaisi, authentication? It came from a specific Chicago land. It was the first Chicago land exhibition by convicted serial killer John Wenghese. So what do you do with that thing?

It just sits in my drawer. Just sits in the drawer because you can't put it up. No, Natalie doesn't want to see it. I don't want to see it, but it's interesting. There's a moratorium on serial killer memorabilia in my home now. Yeah. I cannot have it. I have that and the only other piece I have that.

She know you have that? Yes. Okay. Oh no, she, I told her. It sits in a drawer. It's not allowed to come out. It's in my office. It's in your office. And then I, it's worth somewhere between 2000 and probably 10,000. Really? Yeah. That's what it's, that's what it looks like from from what I'm seeing with his other house. Sitting right here. Wow. And stop going anywhere. How much for the little Stevie Van Zank cassette? Hmm. And the only thing I would bring up, well, because I also have Charles, I have some origami from Charles Eng. What? Yes. Now, all right, you're going to hate this.

Who's Charles Ang? Don't make me do it. Oh, you're the voice. Yeah. No, I'm not asking for the voice. I just don't even know what he did. He's serial killer. Serial killer?

He worked with Leonard Lake. He was a very funny guy that was a serial rape and murderer that worked with a man that faked. We went to Vietnam and he kept women in cages. He was a big fat guy. He was truly an absolute crazy. person. Wow. He looks crazy. So he was born in Hong Kong and Charles Ng legitimately had the cartoony, ridiculous accent and he was a ridiculous human being. They said he worked for a moving

company and he would like practice doing spin kicks and jump kicks and all this kind of stuff. He loved America. He was like one of those guys. Okay. Yeah. All right. It's interesting. Is he still alive? I actually think he is still alive. Wow. These guys never die, dude. It's because in prison. They just sit and they read. Yeah, we've been waiting for Yeah, he's still alive. We're waiting for so many of these guys to die. Whenever I hear about, because these people are such, like,

legends, the wrong word, but like myths. You know, like David Berkowitz's still alive, right? That's crazy to me. They have vaguely good health care where they're at. Been in prison for like 50 years. They start watching what they eat. That's wild. Isn't that crazy? You just got to start watching what you eat, dude. It's all in your

diet. Yeah. It's too much salt. Yep. They don't let them have salt. No, they have no flavors. So can I see the origami? Can you pull it out? I didn't. I forgot it. I forgot it.

Now does it look like a little bird? Yes, it made a little crane. Made a little crane? Yeah. Where do you keep that? It's like underneath this. I just like forgot to bring it. Well, you can't put stuff on top of it.

It's origami. It's flat. Yeah. So it came flat. Yeah. It didn't come where you can like, No, I could if I took it out, but I don't want to touch it. Wow.

And did he do the origami from president? He did the origami. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I think it would be hard for him to do with those fat little fingers. No, you get good at it. You got a lot of time to practice.

Yeah. You know, not every, not every origami master's got thin little paper, thin fingers. I'm surprised he didn't stab it a bunch. I wish you did. You also, we didn't get, I gave away the, when, what's his name, that really gross guy gave us all the weird photos of his hands and feet and coffee. Oh, yes. Yeah, what's his name again? Oh, man.

Rob wanted to keep it. I made us give it away to the Museum of Death. Yeah, I forget who that was. It was a serial killer. Yeah, some serial killer is a fan of the show, apparently, and he drew us. Well, no, he was told by a fan of our show to look us up. Wasn't it Hayden Clark? Yes.

Hayden Clark. Hadden Clark. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you want to see that stuff, there is some at the Museum of Death in Los Angeles, and he gave us enough stuff where they were able to send some to New Orleans as well. Yeah, which is honestly pretty sweet. Yeah.

So we're in the Museum of Death. Thank him for that. I feel like this is the last bastion of this age, right? Where we were into true crime. When I was into true crime was when there was no true crime comedy. Right? We were one of the inventors of the fucking genre. Yeah.

And we, for good or for bad. And I remember looking at the, like, when I was into it, everything was the most intense, splatter-filled, gross, faces of death, most exploitive you've ever seen. anything be. Yeah. And we loved it. And part of it is what I miss of that is a little bit of the just morbid interest, right? Like that's what I like. I have a morbid interest in the topic. I understand it's a tragic story and it's involving somebody's loss of life, but I also am interested in why criminals do what they do. And I'm interested in the details of these crimes.

All right. So that's why I'm full on it. And I think any other way to be about true crime, you're lying to everybody. I feel like it's more exploitive as my full uncle opinion to make everything about the victim because then you're just exploiting it's grief porn. Yes. So at what point are we doing grief porn versus

learning about crime? I think people should go watch how America killed my mother. Yeah and that is great that's great grief porn. You can jerk off of that hardcore watch it head. It's big old tears. Big wet tears. Two pound tears man. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm looking at some of the stuff on the table. There's stuff I want to talk about here on the table. But we also, we have some research done for, I had, I like put out, I was like trying to figure out what do we want to talk about in the Unck episode. And I tried to think of what's the most unc news story of all time. Of all time. Besides Joey Chest up being let off parole to go eat hot dogs at the New York Hot Dog competition. I feel like that's an extremely unc story.

I feel like the story of the no arms, no lengths cornhole man. Yeah. Becoming a racist murderer is a great unc story. A great unc story. But there are famous unc stories. Yeah. And I had our boy who is, I'm going to say honorary unc because he has two kids. So I'm going to come honorary.

I actually feel like he's he's unkish. Yeah, Pat Barker. He's been working for us. He's doing really wonderful work. Yes, he helps us with research here. And he's a hilarious comedian. And I love him the death. But I was like, and he's a special.

is baseball. He was a great baseball podcast. Go check it out. He does. And he is a sports historian. Yeah, he's sports historian. So I was like, you know what? Write me up a little something on when Randy Johnson killed that bird. Now, for those of you that don't remember

and you should, if you're our age, or if you're not, it was a big story. It was basically Randy Johnson. He's the biggest, physically biggest, scariest baseball pitcher of all time. They're calling the big unit? The big unit. That's right. He could throw the ball

faster and harder than anyone. And he was frightening. And he was, and he played forever. He played like 20-something years. He was amazing. And then this man who throws the ball harder than anyone else threw a fastball. And at the time, while the ball was coming towards the plate, a bird came through. And the ball hit the bird perfectly before it got to the fucking home plate. And the bird exploded.

The bird exploded. It was huge. And we all loved it. I feel like I wonder if this is the same as when I was discovering when I was trying to describe to an employee at the gym who Pauly Shore was. And I was saying all these different keywords. I thought they'd know. I mean, it was like, you know, Montagnan on grindage. Yeah.

Nothing. Nothing. And then having to realize that Pauli Shore was actually only famous, famous, famous, famous, famous. for like three years. I'm going to say five, but yes. But in that time period, he was a big part of our one age group. Yes. But no other age group.

And I wonder if Randy Johnson... Well, no, the Middle America loved him because of son-in-law. But I'm saying, of our age group, older people liked them too. Somewhat. Yeah. I know my father hated Adam Sandler. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was, you know, which they're wrong about now because he's the ultimate unc. He don't even wear pants. Oh, no, he is the... He's almost to the point where he is irresponsible. Woo! There it is. Look at this bird.

So now we're looking at it. So he exploded this bird. It truly is a... I love animals. This is just a freak of nature. It's just an amazing thing that happened. It could have happened to anyone, but it happened to the guy who throws the ball the hardest. All right, it was a spring training game, and Johnson was pitching for the Arizona

Diamondbacks against the San Francisco Giants. The batter was Calvin Murray. He didn't have a very long career, but his nephew is an NFL quarterback, Kyler Murray. So most of his fame comes from people knowing, doing cool stuff while he's around. The catcher called for the fastball. Johnson threw it and a bird, perhaps a thrill seeker, perhaps suicidal, perhaps just unaware of his surroundings, flew right in front of it and was immediately killed. Nobody knew what the fuck happened. So what happened after the fact?

Well, the reason this whole thing is so cool is because not only is that a one and a trillion shot, but it has been delivered by arguably the most intimidating picture of all time. Johnson nicknamed the big unit because he was 6.10, all right? And he also threw around 100 miles an hour. Remember he was in, what was that movie? Little Big League. Little Big League. Yeah, he was in Little Big League.

Big League. He was so tall and his arms were so long. He actually released the ball closer to home plate than the average size pitcher, which made the 100 mile an hour seem closer to 110 because they had less time to see where the ball was

going. Damn. He had long flowing 80s rocker hair and when he pitched, it was just a whirlwind of hair and limbs and the ball came rocketing out and basically impossible to hit. So if the bird had been killed by a run the middle middle reliever, it would

not have nearly been as viral of a clip today. This was just perfect. Yes. That is fucking, so did they stop the game? Well, apparently Jeff Kent, who's also a Hall of Famer, was put

in the Giants dugout when it happened. Kent was a great second baseman. He was also kind of a prick and no one really liked him. And the feeling was mutual. Kent hated everyone. He was an avid hunter. So a dead animal on the field was one of the few moments

of his baseball career that provided him actual joy. Oh yeah, he loved it? Yeah, he was the first responder for the dead bird. He walked out on the field, picked it up, saying in an interview that the bird's breast was blowing out. He looked at Johnson, nodded in admiration,

wanting to share a bro moment, but the big unit wanted none of it and just stared Kent down as to say, get off my field. Todd, he's skating to go, fuck. Yeah, Kent returned to the dugout and threw the bird away, although he admitted later he considered getting a taxidermied with a baseball lodged in his chest and asking Johnson to sign it. I'm sure that wouldn't have gone very well.

That's awesome. Anyway, the Ump called it a no pitch, and he kept playing the game. Johnson went on to be the last 300 game winner in MLB history, and it doesn't really talk about the bird incident. He became a photographer. Oh, he doesn't talk about the bird incident? No, because it's like one of those things where it's like everyone wants to bring it up. Of course. Just come up with a pat answer and give it.

Which is more traumatizing? His bird incident or Fabio's bird incident? Oh, Fabios. That's another great uncle. Because this is cool. That like ruins your roller coaster experience for the rest of your life. Well, Andy, I said he had to go get plastic surgery. Yeah, Fabio, one of the classically beautiful men who used to be the guy

long hair, big chiseled chest. He was on the cover of all the romance novels back in the day. And he was at a six flags, I believe, or Knottesbury Farm. I never knew his last name. And they were opening, what is it? Lanzoni. Oh, and he was very nice. And he was opening a roller coaster.

They hired him to come be the celebrity to ride the roller coaster first. And while he's riding the roller coaster, a bird hits him in the face and breaks his nose. My favorite part, did you see recently that Christopher Nolan was allowed to ride the Fast and Furious, the new roller coaster. Oh, really? He just is such, it's just so funny to shut down the whole thing to bring this fucking goober on there. He's like, I love Christopher Nolan, obviously,

but he's like dressed like a goon and he's like, you could just see this like dumpy one man sitting alone on the roller coaster garden? He probably doesn't even want to do it. He wrote it once on the back, once on the front. And then he left. And then he left. Now he's probably never going to ride it again

for the rest of his life. He can't go anywhere. Yeah. Also, the logo for Randy Johnson's of photography studio is a dead bird. that's see that's so he does acknowledge it he acknowledges it in a way he acknowledges it that's fine yes um oh fabio did not as much as i remember her no he was basically known for the cover of romance novels he was a his biggest part it seems was in bubble boy and and then he also did a zoolander and he was in

dude where's my car that was all time period is all high height of our time period i also did not know he was in The Exorcist 3. Oh, interesting. That's fascinating. I could see that. And he had two music videos that he was in. He was in the music video, I Kissed a Girl by Jill Soulbule. Yeah, of course he was in subject music.

He did a good job. You know, it's like we used to have a lot more, like now we have a lot more talentless celebrities. Yeah. But I liked our old ones. They used to have to have charisma. They used to have to do something. Yeah, they used to have something going on.

So I'm looking at this. One of the things I wanted to bring up today was just, all right, everyone talks about Woodstock 99 and the disaster that was. Sure. But what's the last time you looked at the lineup for Woodstock 94? Woodstock 94 sounded like it was a blast. Yeah, Woodstock 94 is pretty on the point. I'm just going to go through some names. We got Blues Traveler.

We got live. Cheryl Crow, collective soul, candle box, violent femmes. Dude, you know what I'm loving though? What? Recent times? Allison Chain's. looking supremacy, man. Allison Chains is finally getting recognized.

Really? For the very first time ever in a generation. Since then. Yeah. No one's been on it took Ryan Coogler. Yeah, he loves them. Seals' favorite band. You saw that video?

I saw that video? Yeah. Seal's favorite band. Because Ryan Coogler said that when he was working in the Bay Area, he had to get to know, he had to work with a lot of white people. Okay. Right? And he was saying, like, after a while, he's like, I needed to know

something about these white people. Kind of like how Patrice O'Neill talks about how like... Radiohead and Neil Young. Yes, and how he realized... He was correct. He said it's like our blues. It's like white people's blues. That's what Ryan Cougler said about Allison Chains is that he started listening to Allison Chains. He was like,

oh, this is where your emotions are. Yeah. And also... I'm sure there is like blues in it because it's rock and roll, but I will say Allison Chains might be purely white music. It is, I would say, a good representation of white culture.

Yeah, it really is. Is Allison Chains more than any of the other ones? I think Allison Chains is the best unplugged album. Yes, it is. I love the Nirvana on Plugged album. Oh, yeah, absolutely. But I think the Lercien Chains on Blugged albums is the best unplugged album. And he was almost too high to do that album.

Unplugged albums used to be, MTV used to have these, they would take these rock bands. Rock and roll was a genre of music that involves guitar. It's guitar forward And it's guys going saying stuff like It's songs about the style of music itself That's what I love about rock music It would be about anything But it also wouldn't just be about rock music

Yeah, yeah And so basically Unplugged with stories about the songs Whatever they would play acoustic guitars Instead of electric guitars And we were like, oh my God Wow, how intimate is this? I've never heard it like this before

Ever once And now I'm like wow I know the lyrics to Nirvana now I had no idea, but also because of Unplugged, that's where I learned about a man who own the world and the meat puppets. Yeah. Also, going back to... Talk about a fucking... Talk about white culture.

Yeah. Meat puppets. Meat puppets. Meat puppets are big time. That is... Well, they kind of started grunch. Hey, baby, I... Them and time.

Neil Young. No, Neil Young is the proto grudge. New Young and Crazy Horse. Yes. Not Neil Young, regular New Young. New Young with Crazy Horse is Grunch. Without Crazy Horse, it's... Keep on Rockin' in the Free World was like the last big...

Like, that was his last big. That was like a rock anthem that he made. Yeah, you brought up one of his albums in the last... Reactor. Reactor's a great album. I love Reactor. It is? When's the last time you listen to Reactor?

Surfer Joe in the Sleeze? This is unbelievable. It's a deeply onctaw into sleaze. deeply uncted dog. The one thing I wanted to bring up about Woodstock 94, they had techno. They had, you think your EDM music is fucking special.

It sounds exactly the same as it did at Woodstock 94. Well, we came from a time period when all of that was also, I remember that was really coming up on MTV and that was like, you know, the Chemical Brothers. Apex Twin. What was the other one?

Been out hot. Ben on Hawk, baby? That might be Moby. That's Moby. Have a couple of albums a rock. Have you seen that cut? I hate Moby. We have personal beef with Moby.

Oh, yes, we do. That's a long story that I don't even know I can really, I don't want to get into right now. I have personal beef with Moe. I have some good young sex to Moby, though. So I always have some. This is now for this, anyway. We can't do this.

When you talk about the sex you had, 17. You. As very own favorite. Parents went out of town. I blasted that Moby playoff. Brin out hotbed. And we had a sexy evening. Bin out of heartbreak.

They're just like, so you want fucking watch your pygolubs now? All right. And dance. Live from your blade. Here's ultimate uck. I took this out of my travel suitcase. I always carry an ankle brace

and a yarmaca because you never know when you're going to need it. You know, I always make sure I have those things with me. Do you bring a yarmaca with you everywhere you go? Just in case, you never know. In case I got to go to a Shiva. Because if you go to like a bar mitzvah or a wedding... If you got to go to a Shiva, I got a blanket.

Very nice. I like that. No, but like if you go to a bar mitzvvvv or something or a funeral, there's always... They're going to give away. This actually... Eddie, when are you randomly on the road and someone says, hey, you want to crash this bar mitzvah with me? Not a bar mitzvah. A shiva. Bar mitzvahs will have the fucking thing for you.

If you're going to a shiva, you know you're going ahead of time. Not always. Not if I'm in New York. there happens to be a Shiva, someone's dead and you're in New York. You're just looking for time? No. You're trying to do minutes at these things? You've got to go visit.

The Jewish people, they take a week, you know? But they bury you immediately, I thought. Yeah, but during that next week, you sit around and you go visit the family, you bring food, and you reflect. It's actually very beautiful. I know, I love it. I'm making fun of Shivers. No, no, no, no. But this is a special yarmulka.

You know where I got this yamika? Mount Sinai, Memorial Parks. It's sitting in the side with the phone number. but I got this from this is from Bob Sagitt's funeral That's great Eddie Yeah I remember that Honestly that is deeply unc

That is a deep unc cut And that he has a Yamaka from Bob Sagitt's funeral And you don't understand what that's like guys You'll never understand what that's like Your fucking 30 years old You never know what that's fucking like Your heroes suck Our heroes are great

Your heroes fucking blow Our heroes are awesome And they're dying They are dying They're fucking dying by the buckets And we like it I got a Leon Russell statue that I bought. All right, so let's see. We should...

It is really funny. And you remember when the man double-charged us? And then I didn't know what to do. So the man at the, that's like very... So some of our more unc activity... Yeah. Some of our more unc activity is going to recording studios on the road. I'm wearing a t-shirt that Henry bought me from Stacks. Yeah.

We go to educational things on the road to fill our time. Right? Like we go... Presidential libraries. We're smart. But we get stoned, right? So it's still fun. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I go in there fucking hoping I see something

that's not there. Yes, but still it's a lot of municipal buildings, old historical societies, and old recording places. And then we went to the church where Leon Russell is like, there's his whole thing. And then the man that shouldn't have been working the, should not have been working the cashier.

He told us that several times. Absolutely, he's like, I don't know why they put me here. And then they kept, he kept double-churched. And I just gave him the money. Yeah. That's nice. Because that's, because I know I could. And it's for Leon Russell.

And I also didn't want to make him have to go through the whole process again because I'm also, as I get older, I lose patience. I made him do it again. You're smart because he really double charged you. He really. You bought the statue. I bought the statue. So there was like that. It was very expensive.

Yeah, it was like $220. We're all like, what the fuck? What? And it was just like, let me. You ever see what? those guys who has an eye patch but the eye for some reason still works and he like open the hey let me look at a little close up really looking closer that's an unc yeah um i brought some reading material i got sinbad's funny funny funny funny funny book i'm actually really sad because one of the best

gifts my family ever got me i never got to get because you know natalie and my family really understands that they have amongst them a man's getting older so there are things you have to get from me they're different. And so they understood that the only thing that I wanted on the face of the planet was front row tickets to see Simbad. Yeah. And they had bought me front row tickets to see Simbad.

And then it got sick. He got that if he had the stroke like a week before the show. And that was supposed to be a big deal for me because Simbad is... I got to sit front row and see Rickles. Oh, wow. That was awesome. I... A thing about me that I think is a bit uncoded is that

I actually love... Some of of my favorite comedians in the world are the old clean guys. Yeah. Like the guys I Some of my true talent. My favorite comedians, true, like if you are really list my favorite comedians, it would be unfortunately, you know,

I mean, I can't say it anymore. Bill Cosby is why I'm a comedian. Yeah. Because of me, not the latter half of his career, but the old stuff, you know, but when I didn't know. Yeah. But Simbad. It's a Sinbad. Sinbad.

Sinbad. John Panette. John Panette's unbelievable. But he's not as clean as you remember. No, he's not. He's not, but he did the accents. You want to where that shit came from, right? Kevin Meany.

Yeah. Kevin Meaney. Kevin Meaty's incredible. Go back and watch Kevin Meeny clips, right? I was trying to show him to Natalie. She's not into it. That's how I know it's good. It's because when he's going there, I'm like, I don't care.

I don't care. You don't like my jokes. I don't care. He's the best. Brian Regan. You love Brian Reagan. I love Brian Reagan. I've never actually seen his comedy.

Brian Regan makes me laugh harder than any comedian ever. Really? No comedian has gotten more laugh out loud moments from me than Brian Neerrigan. And I watch John Pennett.

I mean, that's also, he's perfect. I watch his specials for me. Honestly, and Richard Lewis. See, I watch Brian Regan's the only comedian that I watch his specials over him and particularly. Trice O'Neill. I've seen Elephant in the room, probably the most all in one, the most I've ever seen. And Elephant in the room was also the first time, because I was with my ex when that

came out. And I remember it came out on Comedy Central Live. And we happened to be in a hotel room. I was like, oh my God, it's a pre-Trice O'Neill. It's starting right now. And I turned it on. She got so fucking angry. Well, of course. But I was like, this is incredible. I was like, it was like, it was one of the first time when I was seen one of those where he was, because Patrice O'Neill gave me the great axioms. Just saying, like, straight up, as a comedian, if 50% of that room doesn't actively dislike you, you're not doing your job. Yep.

But I don't think, I think he was a bit off of that. I'm trying to go for about 30%. He liked his numbers way higher than we like our numbers, but I feel like if you never make anyone upset, then what do you really do it? You're not doing anything. Yeah, you're not saying anything. But, Brian, but again, unless you're somebody like, a Kevin Meaney, Brian Regan, that has never offended anybody once.

on stage. God knows what they were like in real life. But in, but they have never offended anybody once on stage and that's because their comedy writing is so fucking good. It's fresh. Because it's the only time we, we only really hyper offend if we fail. That's always the goal. The goal is to make you laugh. Yeah.

When you got to talk about uncomfortable things or else, what are we fucking talking about? There are also some things that it's like at some point, we're going to have some, I'm just going to have some opinions that I, uh, that aren't. great. Yeah. Short stories by Ernest Hemingway, men without women. Figure that was appropriate. God, that's fucking just deeply homosexual.

A member, American splendor. Harvey Peacar is deeply uncoded. And if you even know who Harvey Peacar is, you're an uncrown. By R. Crum, drew this too. Oh, yes. They are, if you know

who Harvey Peacar is, if anybody knows the fact that he was kicked off the David Letterman show, then you're an uncke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Cream Magazine. New Cream Magazine.

I just started getting Cream Magazine again. What's in it? They're talking about music. But like, what music? I mean, it's about new shit, really, to be honest with you. And then they got some good stuff from the old bands, too. I love, you know, I love Amel and the Sniffer's. Oh, yeah, I don't think they're in this issue.

The truth is, I bought this because I want to read it and I never touch it. Yep, that's how it is. That's called Unklis. That's true. I got, I got to want to fly through this stuff because I brought it in here. Might as well fly through it. Eddie Vedder gave me this Zippo. Wow. And it says EV on it.

It's his own initials. It's his own initials. So he has those made and you sit around his house. And he hands it around to people when you come by the studio. That's really fun. I got some sneaker wipes. See, that's the thing we didn't talk about. So right now, I'm currently wearing Solomon's.

Solomons. Yeah, see, I got my hocus. You see, you got hocus. People talk about onks shoes. So I get hit up. I kind of stopped doing the shoe collecting thing. Yeah. Only because.

out of space. Not only am I running out of space, but Natalie was like, only men care about this. Oh man, when I went to Chey's house, he had a full room for shoes. I mean, he's a bachelor, I was like, wow. I was very impressed. He is a bachelor, bachelor, bachelor, and he also is, he doesn't have what I'm not. See, I'm getting out with the DVDs. Yeah, you're going hard in the DVD paint. I'm going hard in the 4K paint, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I'm kind of backing off on the shoes, but these Solomons are supposed to, I wore, I bought these because they're supposed to be the new hokas. Okay. Because Hokas have stopped making their good colorways.

Yeah, I know. It's really aggravating. They're going back to normal-ass boring colorways. I like all the crazy colors. That's why I was so in for it. What's the point? Yeah. I'm not having the crazy colors. I can get any shoe that looks like that. Right. So, Solomons are really great. They have these zip ties. But I've got more compliments on these Solomon's than any

Jordan I've ever worn. Really? Yes. Are they comfy? They're great. Should I do it? Yeah. Yeah? Of course. I'll try it out. How much are they usually? I think it's like 120? 120. That's a good number for a shoe that's not fancy. If I'm doing the most I spend on a pair of shoes is $300. Yeah, see, I don't like going over two.

And that's like, if it's over two, I feel weird. If you're doing, I feel like if you're spending, if you're in a shoe reselling and your shoe buying at that level. But you like, you're a collector collector. Well, I stopped. Yeah. Because I realized, oh, because it was like, you do hit a point where you're like, ah, I got to really put some money into this if I'm going to do it.

And it's like, why am I doing this? Why am I spending this money? Especially just because Natalie doesn't care. And I'm trying to dress older now. See, I feel like as an unk status, I'm trying to find new ways to dress that are slightly more age appropriate but are not boring. Dude, the day I finally figured out that you could own nice underwear and your life just improves immediately. Yeah. Oh, my God, are nicer socks.

Yeah. I mean, you fucking forget about it. Stance, great brand for socks. Also, you know what happened to us in our 40s? What? Chains. Oh, yeah. Chains and jewelry.

I'm into it. You know, and I've been talking a little bit about this on the road because people have asked me this. Busted my watch back out. Yeah, my watch on. I never wore a watch before. I were a watch. It helps me not look at my phone.

I started getting accessories on my body to find new ways to enjoy myself. because I felt gross and then I started wearing things that maybe not feel as gross yeah this is the only thing you can do right it helps it does also we had shitty clothes our entire life all I did was dressed like fucking shit

I didn't have clothes towed shoes until like a couple of years ago yeah I'm trying to up my game and I think that's like a big deal like Natalie says this I do think there's a little bit of a dude's got you kind of have to take it upon yourself.

Yeah. Like, yes, we all want, I think with unks, this is a cry to unks. There's a cry to unks everywhere, which is like, yes, comfort is important. It is important. But I also think by ability within society requires you to stretch yourself just a little bit. I think that you need to kind of go for some stuff. I go and I see, some of the fashions I see on men my age out here are fucking tragic. Yeah. No one's even trying anything. Oh my God, I wore it all leopard, like jumping. suit and I know that's obnoxious but I remember some guy came up

to me, we went to a bar and he was like came up to me and he's like, I tell you, I hate your fucking outfit. Like that, like, you know, I don't care. He's a horrible, shitty old man, but I remember look at him and he's just wearing Walmart clothes. Yeah, it's because I'm like, I know you might not like my outfit, but you are dressed like

shit. Well, it's because they're so jealous of your ability to feel anything. Yeah. They're so jealous of your ability to express yourself, even though we still have the crushing weight of society pressing down on us. Also, look right over there. That's by Hot Life.

Where's yours? Exactly. It's how it always is. It's how it always is. And it's because it seems to be hand in hand with slightly giving a fucking shit about what you look like. Like, obviously, we're not the handsomest guys in the fucking world, right? But it's about what you do with it. That's right.

It's going to be nice. And the key is, we were talking a little bit with, Q and A, what I started to understand about fashion. This is the thing. All right, I'll talk again to this thing. What I started to understand about how to dress myself was that I started taking the movies we watch and think about the characters I liked in the movies and connected to and thought about pieces they wore and how I could get something that looks like that.

Dude, Robert Loja and Scarface is like the ultimate. that is like nothing no one looks better ever you know what I was just watching that kind of made me want to go get another watch it's small not an expensive watch but another type of watch was uh itchy the killer and you look at these guys that are uh in the like guys from like the 80s and 90s in Japan

like I love all the Japanese clothing like all that kind of crazy like cool like open suits like big suits like a kind of style like buttons but it's like no no no like traditional like 90s cut suits but they're kind of bigger and they're really casual and they kind of like dress like they have an undershirt tucked into pants mixed with like

and it just looks great and it's like that's the thing it's like that's how I started to understand how to how to dress myself because I was so lost at to like how do I choose what to do and what to get and I started to realize like oh look to other things like look to art

like literally like paintings what are you into yeah yeah like look at stuff that you are outside of your purview and see other things and you can start you'd be crazy not only what inspires you but also a lot of shit's available yeah know what i've been to that it's fashion-wise that's been hard for me is i want to evolve into this but i'm scared to um and so i'm wearing this headband right now which is just the scar i've been starting to do this because i'm started sweating through my hats and so and so i don't want to i wear this but i know i'm going to sweat or you know just fun like this

but like if i'm on stage i'm wearing this more because i've been sweating through my hats and putting rings on my hats. You can wash your hats. You fuck them up every time. See, I actually, I think it's because you have more structured hats than I do. Yeah, yeah. Because I just wash my hands. Yeah, yeah, you can fuck on. Yeah, yeah, the sweat rings sometimes doesn't even come off when you wash it. Yeah, that's true. I did a full

load of hat washing, and it went fine with some of them, and I had to throw some out. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to move into the next genre of hats. I, uh, hats. I have some bigger hats for like vacation. Yes. Man,

Men and hats are a delicate dance. Yeah. And I think men with hats are... I don't want... I want like a paper boy hat, but I also... I think that I would just look like a weird thug. You know what it is?

Is that Natalie... Natalie's made certain requests. Okay. And she said, number one, don't golf. Yeah. She's like, that will make you unfuckable. I mean, well, golfing sucks.

But basically, she just saying like... Cucks love golf, though. They do. They do. And I don't despair... I don't despair. Don't disparage them. I really don't.

Well, it's good to keep them all somewhere. Well, also, I hate, I hate, like, I don't like all the greens and all that kind of shit. But I also, like, I do understand it's good for guys to have a thing to go do that's physical as a group. It is good. It's the idea of having the sport. It's just, we hate the way that they do golfing courses. It's elitist. And it just sucks.

And it's bad for the environment. So I'm not against the sport of golf. I'm just about around, I'm upset about everything else attached to it. But we are We're not into golf. Yeah. That's not what we do. No, I hate it.

But I do get it. You know what we do do. We do this. Whoa. It's a shotgun show, but it holds a bunch of joints. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. Yeah. So also to end up, one thing we did want to,

do we want to even talk about this, Eddie? I guess. I mean, kind of. It feels weird, but, you know, it's also, you know, it's fun. Well, the only thing we wanted to bring up was the fact that Erica Liniak hit only fans. Yeah, we're in older chicks. It's the only thing I thought was really interesting

about how they're all kind of jumping on only fans now. We're all like, and I think it's cool. Erica Leniak, famous, if you saw the Beverly Hillbillies movie, she was in that, she was under siege. She jumps out of the cake. Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie. Very beautiful woman. Oh, yeah, she's looking good.

But even she's a little young. Yeah, she's a little young for my taste. She's a little young. She's no Susan Sarandon. Yeah, no. Oh my God, I saw Susan Sarandon in the high times party once. She showed up hot as fuck.

Yeah. With like, dude, she had this like 22-year-old piece on her arm, dude. And she was just like walking that dude around. I was just like, I was like, that's what I'm fucking talking about. All these ladies, the other one are like that. I just like, I mean, I think it's good. I think it shows it shows that there's life ahead.

Can I give you an unc present? But you got a promise. Not to, not that. It's for you. It's a true unc present. I can't. Yeah, just open it up. and that's for you.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're going to love this. You're going to love this. See, here, Rob, you can have some old mushrooms. Oh, hell, yeah, man. Awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I haven't seen one of these and it's fucking... Yeah, fucking butterfly knife, dude. Yeah, dude, a real one. I don't even know if they're legal. No, would you get it? I got it in Arizona. Thank you, Eddie.

Yeah, yeah, I got it in Arizona. A fucking stab. Those mushrooms are old. Don't eat those mushrooms. No, you should eat those. You know, they work fine. And then... You could steep them in tea.

Yes, do the tea. Dude a Tee. And I got a little feet concert poster here in a matchbook from old epic grill. See, that is the most unk thing that are on the stand.

Somebody did send you guys, someone who works in a prison sent you guys a bunch of prison stuff, which is kind of unkey for some reason. What do you mean? Like merch? Well, no, like suicide proof forks and knives.

Cool. Some like toothbrushes and toothpaste from prison. I'll need those for the road. But they also included some Mitchum for you, which is very unk. Thank you. Whoa.

Did they get Mitchum from prison? Well, Mitcham's got, wait, hold on. Is this still, all right, good, it's still sealed. A spit hood. A spit, oh, that you put on when you, yeah. Do you know that all the prison stuff, it's done by, the company's called Bob Barker. And Bob, and they make all of this prison stuff.

I will say the one thing I do miss from jail for the jail clothes was the slides. Jail slides are actually kind of comfortable. Hey, go ahead and try and spit on me. Actually, this would be great for you on stage. nothing. It works. Yeah, it really works, man. Oh, God.

Yeah, it really works. It's all over me. I think that's a great way to end the show. It is really great. Oh, man, this is wonderful. I'm going to really need this. Yeah, I can't wait for Uncuh, 2027. We're going to come back.

We're going to do this again. I can't wait to return into Grandpa's. I mean, the only... With Uncle's Gramp? Oh, my God. I'm excited. With Unco's Gramp, Uncle's cramp. That's for fucking certain.

That's when I'm going to be fucking... ready to commit suicide. But I gotta say, what a great episode, Eddie. I love you. I love you, too. We have a great vacation, buddy. You too. You deserve it. And you also brought in the Necronomicon, just so people

know. Well, that's just being. The Necronomicon is just what holds John Wendkeese. Shane made this. Oh, really? So that's what holds it. It looks really good. Yeah, he did a good job. Hell yeah. Well, Hail, Leon Russell, Damarino, Neil Young, Harvey P. Carr, Ernest Hemingwell, waste and bad. All the great

unks in the world. Do you guys see, Donna Mills joined Only fans at 85 years old? Fuck yeah. Rock and row. Yeah. I want to pay to watch or go to heaven. I'm going to turn my penis into a notch.

Show me the tunnel light. Bye, everyone. See you soon. See you soon. Everybody.