Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Under the Sea

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

This week on Side Stories... The torch is passed and a loose thread gets tied up!  The Boys discuss their Valentine's Day plans, Horrified Lufthansa passengers witness man's gruesome death as he coughs up liters of blood on international flight, Noisy fish fornication keeping Tampa Bay residents up all night with low-frequency moans, St. Louis Police Say Death of Firefighter’s Fiancée looks ‘Suspicious’ after ANOTHER Girlfriend Dies in His Home, Listener Stories, and MORE!

On Wizard and the Bruiser, we find all those crazy little moments in geek history that make the things we love into inescapable cultural behemoths. If you love video games, movies, comics and anime, this is the LPN show for you. But wait Holden, it's not just educational. Shouldn't we talk about all those crazy boner jokes we make all the time? No Jake! No we will not! Fair enough! Last podcast network presents Wizard and the Bruiser.

Find it on your favorite podcast app and hit that little subby-dubby button. Ooh, we would love it if you did that. Oh, that would help us out so much. God, wouldn't you love to do that? Don't I sound like the kind of person you wanna help? Like hit the button, like just do it. There's no place to escape to this is the last

On the left side stories That's when the cannon blows them started side stories. Yeah It's time. I couldn't help but notice you didn't bring your laptop. Didn't need to bring my laptop, not today. Yeah? Yep. Why? Because.

Tell them. I ain't got time for this anymore. You hear that? Do you hear what Marcus just said? At the top of this extremely crucial episode of Side Stories, that he says he doesn't have time for Side Stories anymore? I don't.

There's literally not enough hours in the week for me to keep doing the show. But it's not. You are here though. Yep, I'm here today. And part of the reason why. I need to say goodbye. And I think it is important for you to say goodbye. We're not fighting not at all

You know, I mean because sometimes you guys I'll see that people will say we're fighting I don't understand that we never fight. I rarely rarely fight with you every once in a while But it's usually over creative stuff. Yeah, well, and if I fight you You know, I win that's true You think you win, but I know I won. Of course. See, that's the difference. But the one thing is that before I can let you go, because there are things left unsaid.

There are. And I can't let you go without you talking about a specific hanging chad from here at Side Stories. I don't recall any hanging chads or un- Taint length. I went and had my beloved wife and I, we got together and her knowing what this show means to me and what this network means to me. Oh, what it means to you. You see, what it means to you. see what it means to you that she knew I'm hearing an implication there what that she had to do So I entered our marital space. Uh-huh. She did

Use this soft measuring tape that you've brought into the studio yes to measure my taint length what you said she wouldn't do and She proudly stepped up and did it. And guess what? Two and three-quarter inches. Wow, two and three-quarters. Now the key here is you place one end towards the very base of your balls. Very ending slope of your balls.

And then I did sort of push a finger into my butthole. Because that's how you know where the end of it is. Right about here where it's really hot. Two and three-quarters inches. And then I did sort of push a finger into my butthole Because that's how you know where the end of it is Uh-huh Right about here where it's really hot two and three quarters. I'm not fit it I'm not hold I don't know why you're offering it to me this thing that you recently have crushed against your butthole you can't leave You literally cannot leave I can't I can't I will you cannot leave this show until you fill in

leave this show. I can't and I will. You cannot leave this show until you fill in for the audience how long your tain is. I can give an estimate it's bigger than yours. You're full of shit. That's full of shit. I'm not coming back. And this is side stories. We'll have it and we'll get back to it but you need to you need to try it. I'm not going to try it. Just do it while you're sitting. Just do it while you're sitting and try it. You hold one with the end of your finger in the very base of your balls. The very base your balls the very base of my ball It's gonna be side stories with Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson Fine. All right. I'm doing it right now. Thank you Jesus Christ as if this is in a content house three and a half you bitch you're full of shit

Three and a half well, I am in your butthole. Three and a half. Well, I am six to seven inches taller than you are. That is absolutely fallacy. I am five foot nine according to my last measurements because I'm getting bigger. You're five foot seven. I'm wearing thicker shoes.

Well, thank you, Marcus Parks, for being here and you're going to come back. I'll be here once a month. Yeah, I'll be here once a month. Get the fuck out of your room on the show anymore. All right, bye. Bye. Have fun with your tape.

Yeah, I'm going to. I don't think it's that long. It's three and a half and it's going to remain three and a half. All right. Bye. Bye. Have fun with your tape. Yeah, I'm gonna. I don't think it's that long. It's three and a half. It's gonna remain three and a half. Phantom length. Three and a half. All right, Eddie, you've been sitting there long enough. Really good stuff. Yeah, it's good. Really good. Really good radio. Yeah. You know, it's radio because it's visual. It's a visual bit. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henderson Browsky. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing? Now you're the permanent here. You're here. You're doing this. I'm here. I'm here. I'm doing it. I got nowhere else to go, man. The quote, the great Grace Farley. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now would Julie measure your taint? She'd do anything I asked. That's what I'm saying.

It's a like the fact that you- I don't know if I'm ready to ask her though. With the fray that you guys, why are you guys afraid to ask your wife? Well, I asked my wife that day. I went home. I would it would definitely have to be post shower. Well, yeah Yeah, and that's you know now that that's ruined your tape measure. No, no I can't leave Marcus touched that well. I did it about the underwears measure. It's a tape measure Hey, measure, but I did it over the underwear. You did it over the underwear I was well that how do you even know? Because she was feeling around. Two and a half sounds short.

It's a two and three quarters. That extra quarter. I'm four, I think. I think Marcus is short. I think he pushed it in. I think he pushed it in because I measured it from the very end of my balls, the bottom of the slope, to the rim of the hole. And Natalie, who does her funny little joke

every single time, because I have no butt cheeks. So anytime she's below me on the stairs, it's always poking me in my butthole. Yeah, well, I do that to Julie. She does it to me. That's the sort of thing that people do. But my butthole, see how close your finger can get to the middle.

I can't get to Natalie's butthole. I have, I can. You guys, but I can't get. And your finger's too short? No, it's just, my butt is shallow. Yeah. I can't get to Natalie's butthole. I have, I can. But I can't get- You're finished too short? No, it's just, it's my butt is shallow. Yeah. So it's easy to just boot.

Yeah. But so she's not afraid to touch my b-hole. I also don't, because I don't like getting- You can get fucked by a symbol. I have been. You've got to be careful. You can't sit down in any place at a quilt store. Also-

Because you never know. Because remember that guy you said on the artillery shell? No, it goes up his butt. Yeah, it was rad. That's what he fell on a artillery shell. Hell yeah. He shut it up. Fuck yeah, man. That's the way to go. Hey man. Did he die? No, no, no, no, no. They pulled it out. It was they, they pulled it out. He wasn't a World War two vet. I mean, he was a modern man. Yeah. And he did it because I think it was smooth and cylindrical.

And I also think it's because it might have been D-Day. And you just are getting in the, you're trying to get into the mind space. And they should actually work with, I think actually the Steven Spielberg World War II Foundation that works with Tom Hanks should work with a dildo company. And then you have D-Day into dildo day. That's a great idea. That's a great idea. All the boomers are dead. boomer once the boomers are not dead. Well, mostly I mean in terms of that version

I mean well the greatest generation is definitely dead not all so it's like you can't love them left bob newhart so alive Jesus christ. That's crazy, right? Did he see war? No, yes, he's a better saw war. He did. He's dead. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying the guys that are like there's He did he's dead. Yeah. I'm just saying the guys that are like there's I'm not worried about getting any like come up And strum will war two vets from changing D-Day to dildo day Oh, I mean, I think there'd be a couple people upset I'm but again there cuz you know why cuz they're not coming hard enough and that's why we here at Adam and Eve No, it's important to remember our fallen soldiers with these brand new camouflage dildos. You can't even find them Can't find

them in the desert. All right. So we're back in. What's up with the box cutters? It's a little early for the 9 11 special. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the 9 11 special this year is going to be a riot. We are, this was from opening packages earlier. Oh, sure. I opened a bunch of packages. Yeah. That's what they said. We're just traveling mailmen. That is sure. I've been a bunch of packages. Yeah, that's what they said. We're just traveling mailmen. That is all. We just came from Joanne fabrics. All right. We got a couple of fucked up servers. We got a lot of show today. Happy Valentine's Day. Oh, yeah. It's Valentine's Day. I forgot. Happy Valentine. What are you doing? Do you do anything nice with the lady? You're going the rest of your asshole. Goodbye. The rest of my ass is there to be seen.

We are going to a function tonight. It's like a goth function. Honestly, it seems really fun. It's like a cool burlesque night. But we're going with friends because we wait till after Valentine's Day to do a prime Valentine's Day date. Fuck yeah. It's hard to get a reservation. It is, it is, it is.

Yeah. I'm going to, um... Well, of course you know Cherokee. Hey, come on. What are we doing here? Getting canceled on my first episode. Actually, what is this? My third or fourth episode?

I don't know. Who fucking knows? So yeah. I'm going to go see Mexican wrestling. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a love-themed lucha wrestling. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very excited. Yeah, that'll be nice and sexy. This is gonna be like little cupids and shit fucking killing each other. That's great. Yeah, I got some ringside seats. Get her all worked up.

I will, yeah. She wants the men grappling and stuff, and then you get to go grapple. No, I can't wait. Put the mask on. Oh, I don't like it. That's such a great idea. K Mysterio.

Yeah. You know, you come in and you from the top. Oh, the top rope. Just jump off the dresser. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to go straight inside of her. Full hard, get full hard. Yeah, yeah.

It's also Ash Wednesday today. Oh, yeah. It's Ash Wednesday. So our 9-11 was Ash Tuesday. Hey, come on. Really? All right. Really, really fucking sad.

I love Ash Wednesday. Because it's the only day we brand the Catholics. Yeah, then we know where they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, come on Because it's the only day we brand the Catholics, yeah, then we know where they are yeah Walking around with your fucking schmutz on your face. I've seen less Each year I think because we're in LA. No, yeah, no one believes out here. No, there's no God here That's what I like about here. Yeah, no one believes anymore. It's kind of nice. Yeah, it's kind of nice If you're getting ashes, let us know there are people that where you go Yes, I'd source LP ot lgmail.com can you me extra ashes and spread them around because that would be kind of fun I do it's interesting because it depends on where you go in the country because certain cities are still very Christian based Yeah, you know like you go especially South Carolina

You get in that area a lot of guys a lot of whole cities. Yeah. And shut down, that drives me nuts when you everybody shuts down. Cincinnati is very Catholic. I was just there. Shut down on a Sunday, drives me fucking nuts. It's when I can do stuff. Yeah, that's the best day of the week to get shit done. That's when my errands come. Yeah.

All right, we got a lot of show. Let's get into this. First of all, this is the scariest story that I have seen this week. OK. Have you seen the story of this guy who just fucking bled to death on a plane? Oh, yeah, the guy who puked a bunch. No, this thing. Nassanza. Nassanza? It's a crazy story. Now, apparently he was a victim of a, what's called,

a ruptured esophageal varices. Now, this, this is- Was he poisoned? No. Because it sounds like, like the poison from like hateful eight. No, just just- Because it sounds like the poison from like, hateful eight. No, this stuff can just happen to you. Isn't that fun? Isn't that great? So this is the story. So this took place, it was on a Lufthansa flight. Yeah.

This was happening two days ago. They said flight passengers were left traumatized. Sure. Yeah, no way. There's no way, what? When a Euroman man, heed up quote-unquote liters of blood Before dying. How much do we have inside of us? Let me see how much blood we have I can do this You keep talking. Well, you know what's funny is that they I was reading in a forum from it was like a Natalie sent me this story through

They registered nurses forum on Reddit and what they said and it was interesting is that five leaders the average adult Yes, five leaders. average adult yes five leaders So this person probably they Can you imagine like you can like get rid of like something like if you cough up like 50 milliliters of blood Yeah, it looks like a lot especially if you're not used to somebody coughing up a bunch of blood There are people that are really used to people coughing up blood like my father or, or like people that are interested, you know, like are people who like, know Mickey work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they're used to some guy just coughing up blood randomly. Babe Ruth. Yeah, those some people are not though, because so you'd see a little bit

of blood and you're like, oh, that's that guy's coughing a lot of blood. I do think if you're coughing any blood. Any amount of blood, it's bad. Check your teeth. If your teeth, you don't have a cut in the mouth. Then it's truly got a really, if you got a cut in the mouth, that's also a problem. The last time I coughed up blood was when I was smoking cloves. You coughed up blood in your life? Yeah. Even I haven't done that. We'll get you going.

I mean, whew. Close. Hey, you can, we can get you coughing up blood. I've shit blood. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah, I've shit blood. I've shit blood. I've coughed up blood. I've shit blood. Yeah shit blood. I've coughed up blood. I've cried blood

You've cried blood. No, I haven't I wish that'd be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, people leave me alone Exactly or they'll start coming around. Yeah, I think you're Mary. Yeah, and you know cuz look at me same body. Yeah So this guy Martin miss Felda, he's 53 from Zurich, Switzerland. This is this guy. He was next to the man who has been unidentified, who's unidentified. The man, 63, the original dude, he boarded the Lufthansa flight. It was from Bangkok to Munich. So it's one of those where people kind of, but they were kind of worried to begin with

because he was visibly ill at The Bangkok Airport. It's very nice to them to still let him on the plane. Oh, no, it's not. I mean, I think so I mean, they do it's like let's get this guy home. No Opposite he goes to a fucking hospital not in Bangkok. Oh, well hospitals getting Bangkok. Sure. I'm sure they're fine Not in Bangkok. I was coughing up blood now. Like it's a great song. But Martin Miss Felder was the guy sitting next to him. He was from Zurich and he said, it was an absolute terror. Everyone was screaming.

And apparently the man's wife, they told the crew, which is, this is why I'm saying it's, there's a little bit of misinformation here, is that he wasn't feeling good. And she, and the wife said, well, you know, he's not feeling good because he was forced to run to catch the flight. No. I'm starting to think, unless you're in a wheelchair, right, because they're only one of my favorite mode of transportation in the airport, the golf cart.

Yes. Oh, that's always fun. That's key. I don't think they have those in Bangkok, though. No, yeah, of course they do. They probably got self-driving robot cars. You think so? Oh, that's always fun. That's key. I don't think they have those in Bangkok though. No. Yeah, of course they do They have probably got self-driving robot cars. You think so? Oh, yeah, Bangkok Airport is probably one of the most High-tech airports in the world. Really? I imagine It's you know, it's an intense city, but they went and they they said that he was sick from running

This is my thing if you can't get to your flight, you shouldn't be on it That's my feeling as you feel like you should be not traveling that day if you can't get it. You know, if you can't get into the flight. And the, uh, cause he was sitting there and he was going, which is like not a good noise. And then the flight attendant went up to him and was like, it just did the standard, you okay? Cause German air flight, right? Being like, you'll do, you'll nine inch nine in.

And he was like, like you know probably went like You know like I would have done of course because you're trying to get to your location Yeah, you want the trip to be over you know you don't feel good But I'm saying I'm speaking as the man from Zurich that was next in yeah saying like please you don't go on the plane Please because guess what happens you still ground the flight. Yeah, because you pleaded effmin flight out of your fucking face So he was dying but where'd they ground? Somewhere between what like what bag dad cool, you know, there's not many places to ground in between Yeah, there's a lot of places We're gonna stop off and suit and

stop off and suit and that's what they do. Man, see another country, get another magnet. That's what I would do. They asked if he was fine. And then he said he was fine. But then eventually the woman came forward was like, actually, do you think that we might need some urgent help? Because they asked a little bit of like, he kind of passed out a little bit.

And then he got back up. The 30 year old Polish medic, he showed up. And the first thing he did was check his feet. And then he took his pulse. And and they for indicated he seemed to be fine He's that guy has seen something before he's going straight for the feet. He's like I'm just gonna make sure it's not I'm joking He was a Polish because you say okay, okay? They gave him and then they thought me like you know what this guy needs to relax So we'll give him some chamomile tea.

And, but then he kept, by that point, they said he was already just kind of spitting blood into a bag. So they gave him like one of the little, like, you know, like little throw up doggie bags. Yeah. And he started talking about blood. I don't think he's talking about blood.

No, no, no, no, no. And this is multiple leaders that he's puked up. Yeah. And so bloods are coming out. And they first, they were like, ah, you know, cause like they're watching leaders that he's puked up. Yeah, and so bloods are coming out They first they were like, ah, you know cuz like they're watching him. He's spitting a blob They're like, oh, this is not and then as he is like they're like, maybe we should he starts And I mean like apparently it was pretty pretty bad because he's sort of screaming yeah Goodle screaming doing one of my favorite moves ever

in comedy, because it's like, we always talk about this how like, coming is not as funny as farting, it's not as funny as shitting, which is not as funny as vomiting. I think vomiting is my number one funniest. Oh, is the best. That is my favorite bodily function in terms of comedy.

Well, because it's emotional. Yes, absolutely. And your body locks and there's nothing,, you know, when you throw up and you're like, huh, huh, and it's like shoots out of you like a firehouse. So you think a pee is less funny than a fart? Yes. OK, I can go with that. I think this is less funny than a funnier than far. I think shit. I think far could be funnier than shit.

Is it shits funnier than fart? I think shit. I think fart could be funnier than shit. I honestly, I am kind of overfart more so towards just full on shitting pants or left turd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turd that is left. But vomiting is my favorite. And so when he was there, he started doing the, because he's trying to be like, I need

everybody help. And then as he's yelling and shit, blood and blood is just flying out of his mouth and his nose and his ears He's bad dude because his apparently these are enlarged veins in your sofficus that can rupture I think it was a middle seat Had to have been Had it been like you take the arm risks You know, um, he said that he was, he died, he was went unconscious at least. Yeah.

And then yeah, he died in a puddle of his own belly blood. He was very, very bad. Did he eat a bunch of bugs? No. They said that it can happen from cirrhosis of the liver. That is a sign of cirrhosis of the liver is that you could eat these enlarged veins in your esophagus. So you just need to party too hard on vacation. I don't know.

And then, or they also said it could be naturally occurring enlarged and gorge veins in your esophagus. So you just need party too hard on vacation. I don't know. Or they also said it could be naturally occurring, enlarged and gorge veins in your esophagus. And then it could just have been the pressure of flying that could have popped them. Damn. And they also like, and several people in this nurse subreddit were like, this is pretty gnarly in a hospital.

Like they've seen it happen in a hospital. It happens. Where like, but on a plane, it's like extra gnarly in a hospital like they've seen it happen in a hospital. It happens. We're like but on a plane Yeah, it's like extra gnarly because you're also watching like I was watching last time all the master classes on tasting wine Yeah, and that it's gonna ruin it. You've seen that was a miss like Marty suckly He's just spitting out wine the whole time such an asshole. He's so full of fucking shit. It's like names like Martin suckling He just smells wine says shit. Yeah, you say anything. Yeah, he didn't teach you anything I don't believe any of that stuff it I could see how you say you like yeah, there's bullshit James suckling

Look at the shuckling. He's so I don't know how he has a job. I don't know what this guy does for a living He literally just drinks wine and he sits and he looks like a Steve Martin Stuntman yeah suckling is a horrible name for a sommelier. But I guess it's also good if that's what he does all day. Look at him, he's just him holding, he's got like a stupid little jacket on, he's got his bottle of wine, he's like, ah, and this next middle here where you have

is a sampling like, hmm, you're getting some smell here, I'm getting a whiff of tennis balls, I'm getting a whiff of, I'm getting a whiff of, hmm, oh, getting a whiff of... I'm getting a whiff of... Mmm. Oh. Mmm. I think that's some kind of... Mmm. Wooden. And you're like, shut up.

You're saying, you're smelling wine. So now I do this bit with Natalie each time where I pour a glass and I test it, I go, I'm getting wine. It's a wine smell. She loves it. She loves the bit. But this guy's dead.

Jerry Slurpler. Jerry Slurpl's a good name. That's a good name for Samalia. That's who I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Timothy Suckin.

I like that guy. No, so this guy died bad. That is tough, man. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for everybody. Yes, of course. I will say though, I think that now that this has happened, if it happens again, I think it'd be better if everyone on the like the plane kind of like played a little cooler.

You know, like, I think you're like, it's a little, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I mean, if I'm throwing a blood over the last thing I need is like everyone around me screaming and running in circles. I don't think I need a little emotional support. I don't think you can stop it. I don't think I'm going to have a, I don't go like, well, we better do something about this. I will, or, you know, I'd be throwing a cork at him. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Jam some towels down his throat. Something, put a bandaid on his mouth. I think that he was long dead. Yeah. I think that once you're doing that process, side stories, LPO, TL, Gmail, and com. At what point is throwing up two liters of blood kill you? When is it too late?

Yeah, do you think? I'm trying not to be insensitive. I'm legitimately morbidly curious. He's trying not to be. Do you think he shit a bunch of blood too? Might have. I think he might have shat some shit. Shat some shit?

Yeah. I think that it's very possible that he also defecated Especially when he died unfortunately a lot of times if you haven't freshly shit, you'll shit your pants immediately. Yeah Which is there for all of us one last joke one last Stookie jokes This is so that's a really fucked up story I got some updates actually I won't do that from Northland. This is so that's a really fucked up story. I got some updates actually. I want to talk about it. Did we talk about last week?

Have you I talked about the Keo boys with you? Yeah, a little bit. Now, I got more details on what the Keo boys are. And these guys, like I have a lot of emails from people that are like, take this seriously. Because I said it was just stealing. They're stealing cars. Yeah, I thought it was a boomer fear. Like I thought they were blown it up. And I got

a lot of normal emails that were like, no, this is good. It's a lot. It's happening a lot. And so this is the, what the, the, the total context of it is, is that it was quote unquote, the key challenge, which challenged teenagers to steal Kias and Hyundai's manufactured between 2011 and 2021 because during those years the cars were manufactured without what they called an immobilizer device Which requires an electronic fob to make the car start this making Kias and Hyundai's easier to steal So apparently there was a big class action lawsuit. So it's like cars from our entire childhood. Yes Well those Kias and Hyundai's because I also had an Alantra. I had a Hyundai Alantra.

Yeah. Champagne. I had a Kia Sportage. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For a little while. Yeah.

I could see. Yeah. Uh, yeah. They also will find out a bunch of people also got arrested, but, but apparently it's just still going. And I did not know that it was still going. And it's apparently a thing and we're supposed to scare these kids. What are we supposed to scare? They know that they can do it. How are we supposed to scare them? I think that I feel like we got to go to elementary school. Get the club! I think that we need a round up kids.

We know how to fix this! We're scared straight. Get the club! I feel like we need to get back to scared straight. Send them to the schools. Yeah. Scared straight. I don't know if it worked. I don't know if it worked. I don't know what the statistics are on scared straight, but it's fun to see. We get some fake mustard gas that comes out of the... What if we fake them out? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The door's locked.

Yeah, the yellow gas starts coming in. Yes. Yeah, it'd be like, thank you for your service. Exactly. And then now we know not to steal kios, because sometimes they're filled with mustard gas. You know, I hear that's happening. What? That they're filling the KIAs with mustard gas.

Yeah, I've heard that that's happening too. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, you better be careful children. If they're stealing KIAs, you're gonna get gas. Sometimes you get mustard gas and guess what you become? You become a haunted mannequin from World War I. Yeah, and sometimes if they- You become a haunted eyed man from Denmark.

Yeah, if the fingerprints don't match on the steering wheel, it just sets fire. Yeah. What it does is it tells everybody, it tells everybody that you kissed Susie Hernandez. Yeah, exactly. You got to be careful. And you go, exactly. Do you girl? I guess they don't feel like that anymore. If you get caught stealing the Kia, you got to go to North Korea. That would be fun. That should be the punishment. I love that. Yeah. Because they could really, I feel like in the end, you know, when North Korea could use some childlike laughter. Oh yeah. So maybe in the end,

like maybe North Korea, we're expecting it to save those kids, but maybe in the end, those kids will save North Korea. Amen. You know, because they'll go in there, they'll have an American sense of freedom, teach all them. Maybe old Kim Jong-un needs to do is laugh. Yeah. Hang out. I mean, I guess he did with Dennis Rodman, but I think he loves having a good time. But I feel like there's too much. So like when he blew up his uncle, yeah, in front of everybody. Yeah, that was cool. He did a lot of fucked up shit. Yeah. You know, we really do need it. He needs a comedian in there. We need a comedian in there. Flip them. Yeah.

So we get the club. If you got a key, I get the club. Club has worked our entire childhood. I guess. I guess it does. Yeah. This is how cars work. Yes.

My Buick, I put the key in, I turn it and I move. Well, what are you, what do you mean from the snow age? No, yeah, the club still works. Yeah, I guess we should. Can we get advertising from the from the club. I feel like that would be great for us I feel like that that's actually really that would I think a lot of our I think our Constituency is a big club constituency. Yeah, get the fucking club I missed the club and it's also cool because you can pull it off and beat somebody you can get in car jack It's very powerful. Um, I also got a lot of emails about cannabis-induced psychosis.

Oh, really? It does happen. It does happen. I've heard a lot of people talking about this. It does seem to come out more so if you've had some traits that are similar to bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. It does seem to react on those.

But one story of his normal girlfriend, she smokes weed, They go to have one last drink in the hotel. They're hanging out in a, and she never smokes weed. She hit a couple of puffs of it. She went upstairs. She literally like, he goes upstairs. He's locked them out of the room. She has climbed down a drainage pipe down to the street where she jumps over two nine feet fences, ends up on the highway calling the police on herself I mean, it's a lot so I do understand that it can have but I will say that it is impressive I still find fugues takes to be

Fascinated mm-hmm because this is an idea that you can just clip, but I don't still don't know why Well, I mean I kind of know why why the lady that the that was got freed basically only got something like four years For a hundred and eight stabbings of Rex boyfriend or dog Yeah, was and the reason why that guy that was sleepwalking who killed his girlfriend And he got the book thrown at him it seems mostly because that the sleepwalking a dude was black and It seems mostly because that the sleepwalking dude was black and it seems to be slightly racially motivated. She got probation.

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, so she got off completely. Yeah, but I mean, so I will say it makes a lot more sense to me now, but I still don't know how you prove some of these in a fugue state. Like you just like what is the actual, like way to prove that you don't know what it is that you're doing at the time? If you did crack, it wouldn't matter. Why does it matter for this? Because I think it depends on whether or not the key is fugue state. That's what we're all searching for, Eddie.

If you get really drunk and kill somebody, you go to prison. This is what I brought up the last time. I don't know. I honestly, I would love to actually have more people email me about that legal process of how someone actually proves that you're in a fugue state and why is it not legal for you to murder somebody when you're sleepwalking but legal to do it if you're in a drug-induced fugue state? Yeah, if anything, sleepwalking is more innocent. But again, the main problem with that trial was how do you prove that the man was sleepwalking? Like how do you-

It's possible. It's hard because they do certain things. I know what was interesting is that I was watching- You need like a doggy camera or something. Yes, there was a, I forget what it was. There was a story I was just listening to undreading. I was talking about how they knew a guy, they absolved him of murder by his Fitbit.

By his Fitbit. Man, those things save lives. They do. The Fitbit show that during the time period that when the murder was happening, it was on, it was on his body and he was sleeping. And so they know that he did not move because it measures your movement.

So they pulled all the files and they could see that he was dead and asleep, quote unquote. Like you know, they can track that he wore it to bed, like within the house, he will lay down in bed and then like six, seven hours later woke up and left. But I think it can conversely do the same. Yeah, if you're asleep, if it shows that your body is in a form of sleep and then you get up and you do a frenetic series of actions, I don't know whether or not that then counts. Or you call your buddy up, you come over, take a nap, I'ma throw this Fitbit on you, and then I'm gonna go fucking murder somebody.

It's me, I am the Ritvan Winkle Killer. Exactly. But now you've taught them how to get away with murder. Good work, guys. Hey. I'm the Rick Van Winkle Killer. Exactly. Yeah, but now you've taught them how to get away with murder, good work guys. That's the answer. Hey. I poke at holes. It's all about, we wanna help everyone here. And again, I don't think every murder is,

it's not that I'm saying every murder is bad. I think every murder is bad. What are you gonna say here? It's just that sometimes you really gotta figure out a way out of a situation. Sometimes you really gotta think about, maybe it's me or you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I gotta go to a podcast every day.

Okay. People wait for me every day. Yeah. Just come and talk. Yeah. I can't let things get in my way. Exactly. A little street justice has to come in there.

Sometimes you have to do it. Also, speaking of street justice, we have an interview. So we did a little read a story of someone talking about how they were approached and saved by a firm attack from a man dressed in full tactical gear with the devil headpiece on and a motorized longboard. And it looks like we might have been reached out to buy This caped crusader goes by the name of devil. There's a satanic superhero He is a devils themed skateboarding. I mean again some call him Avenger

Some call him justice some call him vigilante even though he doesn't like it But we might be having an ongoing conversation with somebody that is behind the mask. The grinder. Because that's a skateboarding term. Yeah, that would be fun too. That would be fun. And all he does is keep on going. What I do is beat up racists that suck dick. I'm the grinder. I'm the grinder.

I think that'd be fun. That's a fun guy. All right, next story. Let's hear it, man. Here we go. This story, this got sent in a lot, and I think that we have to do it. I'm going to send you this. This I got a bunch of stories pulled up. Just tell me which one it is. You can read. I read over. All right, you're right. But I can look at pictures and shit. No, here we go. This is the this this story is, got sent to me a bunch of times. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Noisy fish. Oh, the, in Tampa. So now, can we hear it? Yes. I send him the audio file. Now they're saying that apparently this is like a, in a realm, this is very neatly in the realm of side stories. These people, these in Tampa

Bay, Florida. So as far as I'm concerned, we love our Tampa Bay audience, but you get whatever you deserve. Whoa. All right. Now they are scrambling to explain these rolling base tones that have been keeping people up. Now, there's been a lot of theories. People talking about there was some kind of military base

doing operations that they thought maybe there was some underground code violating nightclub or some people of course jumped to aliens. But they realized now what they're doing here it's that it's actually fish fucking you think it's people fucking fish. So they put it down here. No, I wish. Okay. It's fish fucking fish. Oh, okay. But I do wish it was people fucking fish. That's a better story So this is a story so though James Locasio of the Marine Laboratory in Aquarium in Sarasota He installed marine microphones in the area to confirm his theory This is coming from these are mating noises admitted by the aptly named black drum fish Okay, so these are just horny fish. They're big fish. Are they invasive? I don't think so. No, they're in the ocean

They can't really be invasive. I guess I have no idea They say here's the base that it was these pieces we have the noise This noise kept people awake for weeks And that's fish coming What did people complain about it's Florida? There's all kinds of frogs and crickets and bugs and shit. Apparently, this was very loud. And it would vibrate throughout their homes, like the Havana Syndrome weapon.

What, has this never happened before? I have no idea. Apparently not. This has to have happened. Did you call your parents? They don't know. They go, they're so big, they're fucking in an ambient fugue state. They do that every night before they go to sleep.

This is, I, I, it's interesting. I don't know why I kept people up, because also it just feels like, again, it is Tampa. And then when we stayed in Tampa, by the Page 7 show, I was in E-Bor, that shit goes all night. It goes all night. And it's horrible music. And it's all just, and then they're roosters, the goddamn rooster. Why did they crow at night? I don't know. They cut way for the sun. You stupid. Again, love Tampa. But these guys are like, they're used

to noise. I don't know why, but this is this story came in like five times. I think it's like five people complaining. I know. Well, I think it's fun that people complaining. I know but it's idiots. Well, I think it's fun that it does it is cool Like you could sample that. Yeah, like you know, there was a beat to it. Yeah, but I also wonder you use that sample Does it make a bunch of other fish all super horny? It's it like if we like you remember how Rob Zombie put the Sex noises in the songs. Yeah the remix for more human than human. Yeah, it's Jenna Jamison. I think it was. Oh cool. Oh was it the other one? No, I think it's Sherry Moon. No, Sherry Moon was only dancer for a short period of time. Oh, okay, but she was on the cover though, wasn't she? Yes, but there was also what's her name from Take Off Your Pants and Jacket.

I don't know. That porn star as well. Oh, okay. I'm saying things. You are saying that. But I feel like it might get people all riled Oh, okay. I'm saying things you are saying that but the Yeah, I feel like it might get people all riled up. It might get fish riled up I think this is a good thing With all the red tide that comes in through the Gulf these fish need help You know, let's get more of them. Are these things can we eat these things? Yeah, of course. I think I've never had it That's your say lots of fish. I never had a drumfish before.

Apparently right here, they could really do, like they can, their mating season, the black drumfish, their sounds, their calm noises, can hit up to 165 water decimals. He said, when produced en masse, the sounds are conducted through the ground and become audible on land. Yeah.

Which honestly, it might be a sign of something with climate change because it legitimately, like our oceans are getting closer up to the surface. Yeah. All right. So here's what you're going to do. You want to rinse the black drum fillets with and pat them down dry with a paper towel. Yeah, I did. And then season both sides with a generous amount of salt and pepper, whatever you want to do. I like Chef Paul, you know with a paper towel. Yeah, I did. And then season both sides with generous amount of salt and pepper, whatever you wanna do.

I like Chef Paul, you know, a magic spice. I've been using that magic spice so good. It's a lot, Jackie got me that magic spice. I also like, and the bone amplitude is a good fish. Heat it in a skillet on medium and add two tablespoons of olive oil. And you eat these fucking things five minutes on each side. What is with chefs adding olive oil after the fact?'t you want to cook in the olive oil up top?

Especially with fish one or you add that you you put the you put the oil in before the fish Yeah, and then you cook it on one side But then you probably also just add butter that and then you also squirt a lemon and some capers on the top of that It also probably be pretty fucking probably pretty great. Honestly, why are they not eating that? What kind of the taste what kind of how does black? How does that taste is black drum a good eating fish? They are bottom feeders whose diet include muscles crabs oysters and clams just like us Hmm, that's me this diet results in a sweeter meat that flakes right off the bones black drum is ideal for using in soups Chatters and curries

Fillets and whole food. This is a good thing. Hmm. Yeah. We should be hunting them out of existence. Then yeah, this is it. Yeah, let them fuck. Hmm. Make more of them. Yeah. We're not trying to stop. Well, they're not trying to stop them from fucking They're not going out there and shutting down the party. They're not like hitting it with the broom on the bottom floor saying everybody stop fucking. They're just saying people are like it was more than it was a little fucks man. They just complain to God damn much. it was a mystery. These old fucks, man. They just complained to God damn much. Well, it was a mystery. You actually be surprised how many and how often complaints come from the young fucks. Because they are also, because Tampa's a fairly young city. It's old. When's the last time you went there?

It's fairly young. I was there last year with you. It's fairly young. There's so old people, but they're around here. Look at this lady complaining. She is. Look at this lady complaining. She is. Look at this lady. She just wishes she was getting fucked like that by her fucking husband.

She looks like a seahorse that was left out in the fucking beach. She's fine. She launched a GoFundMe. She launched a GoFundMe to stop the fish. For what? To try to find out what the fish sound was. This is just like, this is again, this is a Florida thing. This is like, they got too much time.

They have too much time on their fucking hands. She must be new to town. Is this in a new noise? I mean, yeah, she might be. Yeah, that she could be a MAGA transplant. Yeah. This is a new person. This is like, you know, I can see it. People that come down there from COVID. It's like, yeah, you moved from Northern California. There's no animal life. There's nothing there. You know, no black drum fish. That's very possible. And you've got to see all kinds of weird shit in Florida. See, I still think that you just-

These cookie frogs, cookie frogs! People are just mad, right? They're just mad. It's Florida. They're angry. They don't like anything. They don't like shit to complain about. They hate everything.

The sound of pleasure from the ocean. What if they heard the... Which all they hear, if you drive an hour and a half fucking east, that's all you hear. Ding-ding, which is all they hear. If you drive an hour and a the same time. Those guys are, they're still trying to get you horny at that song too. You think so? And do you see?

No, he's just trying to get it out to leave home. He's trying to tell her how good it is there. But look at how old- And she's like, no, I want to be part of their world! You don't think that all the fish in there were not fucking each other? Of course they were! But I feel like it's the same sound.

Well, who's she fucking? Her dad? Well, she doesn't have a pussy. There's only like one Merman and they cut him out of the movie. Melvin. He doesn't have a pussy and he doesn't have a dick. She squirts eggs into a pile and then he comes and squirts his cum on top of the eggs. They never fuck.

I know. She was wanting legs. But these fish fuck. But she wants legs so that she can be made loved to properly once. Because fish don't have clits. Yeah. Well, you don't know that. I do know that.

Yeah, it sounds like the black drum fish has big clit. But I'm the ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding fish clitoris. Fish clitoris, let's see it. Animal clitoris, it doesn't say anything. Oh, here we go. The most fish have genitals, all right, which is a fresh tube.

They don't have sex. They don't need penises or vaginas. So then, if they don't have sex, then how do we explain what the fuck we've been talking about for 10 minutes? They're sport legs out and that's the soundtrack. All right, they're putting on music. It's like Porta's head.

Yeah. Oh, I hate Porta's head. Me too, I don't. I don't know, I'm gonna get shit for it, but that is stupid. But you know what I mean? That it's like sexy though. Oh, it's definitely sexy.

It's heroin music. It's choke each other while you fuck music. Yeah, it's sexy, like regret sexy music each other while you fuck music. Yeah, it's sexy like regret sexy music We all suffer you're like you're with a woman You but you you can barely see your because you're blind from ecstasy and you're both in the club and then you go And she blood lets you and then it's you thought it was Angelina Jolie But you get home and are actually her names like Bama Lena Jolie. Yeah, like the worst not good You know, but you choose porous hexes that are Tory Amos

Oh, yeah cool. Tory Amos just makes everybody cry. I Don't think anybody's fuck well Tory Amos place. I know I don't think you're supposed to I think it's actually supposed to be sex Assault awareness. Yeah music. Yeah, I'll let you if you do have sex got having a button you called Tory anus Where's Marcus? Fused to be on the show. Fucking me. Yeah. He fused. You know, I'm just.

I can't believe it. Sorry, Anus. Absolutely unbelievable. I'm from your way. Um, I want to talk about this one story real quick, because we got how much time we left. Who cares? Just tell it. All right, this this is a weird story this is just a you

want to talk about the guy who eats chicken raw I would but I want to talk about this mystery first all right and get some other sources on it and talk about I do honestly but there's no wrong answers here okay um so the reason why the fish noise story was a big deal in Tampa was because it was a mystery. I wanted a story of when we were talking about the three gentlemen who died in Kansas City. Now we know for a fact that they died of a fentanyl overdose and then the mystery is now gone.

But there's a new mystery that I do find very interesting. That's the reveal on the new true detective. I'm gonna be so pissed. It's, well, the last episode was good. Mm-hmm. Now they're kidnapped, he's no. It's great. Yeah, I love the last new episode, that was great. All right, last episode was good. Mm-hmm now they're kid now. It's heat. No, it's great. Yeah. I love the last new episode That was great. Um, all right now. This was interesting now. This is in the great state of Missouri

This guy a fire captain Robert Douse. This guy is a name for a fireman right now This is my buddy Ronnie hose water That's a Great name, please This guy's either the most unlucky man to ever live Mm-hmm, or he's a murderer. Okay. We'll find out so this guy and I'm not gonna this again. It's a little legend But this mystery is starting to kind of come to light fire captain Robert Douse Was being pulled into this kind of another mysterious death. So I guess this was several years ago. His previous fiance, Grace Holland, shot herself

in front of him. Okay. And he reported it and it was his big deal. And they said he committed suicide in front of me and it was really, really rough. Now, this was, that happened in July of 2020, cut to this year, February of 2024. His new girlfriend, Dr. Sarah Sweeney, was also found dead, doused his apartment on January 13th, and her death is now being treated as suspicious, pending autopsy results. Even though there's been no signs of trauma yet on the body. We don't know how she died. No. So right now what they're doing is, is that again, one intense wrongful death in front of you. Everybody's like, I'll buy it. Right. A lot of people think, of course, why would you lie about somebody committing

suicide? That's always like the most audacious. Did she leave a note? No. Okay. That's fishy. But this is one of those stories But a lot of you know actually note is more rare than you think really in terms of suicides Yes, and it's it's interesting because why even do it? Because you're sad and also suicidality is very different than depression It's this whole other realm of stuff and a lot of people talk about how like it's, it's something else cause I was reading a very interesting thing about suicide, about how technically it takes a homicidal inclination because you're still have to kill

yourself. Yeah. So you have to commit an act of violence. So it's already somebody that not that you would be predilected to commit an act of violence, but it shows that you were more capable of an act of violence than you thought you were. And because technically you're killing the entire world. Whoa, okay. It's fucking, it's not metal, it's sad, but it's also fucking cool.

I understand where you're coming from. In a terminology. I get, I am, oddly enough, I get it. It's fucking dark, dude. All right, so St. Louis County police, they found a new probe. Now they're going into realizing, I mean, like, the, oh, so she died. So they are now like, obviously looking into this, they're saying, but they don't say why they believe this new case is suspicious. So originally the case was ruled, the first case was ruled a suicide by the medical examiner's office long before we became involved.

At the end, conclusion of our investigation, as with every other death investigation, we never made a determination of the manner of death, the ruling solely the responsibility of the medical examiner. At this point, the case is still classified as suspicious death and remains active. So what do we know about the dude other than he's a fireman? We know these are firemen. We know that Dr. Sarah Sweeney was also in the middle of a lawsuit Which is interesting because Sweeney was trying to talk about her her former employer So this is what's really interesting. So Dr. Sweeney the latest the latest death She was like in this lawsuit. She was like dealing with the sub sushi. She moved out of her house So she jokingly or guest jokingly or seriously text it to her friends in the days before she died

I have to move in with my boyfriend the quote-unquote murderer, which has been scary at times So this idea of him killing his previous friend. That's a lot right there Which is like that's a lot of people saying like so why would you move in with somebody that you thought? Was a murderer And obviously there are, we talk about all the time why people stay in abusive situations. Cause it's extremely difficult to get out. Getting out is actually the hardest part.

Yeah, cause you're terrified. And also that is when largely the highest violence happens is the moment that you leave. So you could see maybe she was afraid, but we don't know. That's the only evidence we have saying that she might have afraid. Because in November of that year, she originally, the Dr. Sweeney,

she filed suit against Dr. Franklin Harry and the best foot forward clinic where she worked, claiming sexual harassment, gender and disability discrimination and retaliation. They've also filed a counter claim. But according to Sweeney. So now Sweeney believes that they were she, Douse was abusive and he was suspected of murdering a previous girlfriend, which is no, the authorities had not said that it sounds

like the Zima record telling her, no, the dude does not have a record. So we will see, but it's like, it's looking like now that one case got popped open now The other case is gonna get popped open and there's like a massive microscope on this dude And we were gonna find out obviously it's all a legend. We have no idea. Mm-hmm, but who knows? Is it still a fireman or they tell him to take some leaves? I believe he is still a fireman interesting It is a it's not good. It's one of those. You got to be careful. You definitely shouldn't have another girlfriend. I mean, just take a break. There's a, there's a couple of these fire chief. He's a picture of him outside of his home where he was on

the phone. But span of three and a half years, two women have found been dead at the, in the presence of Captain Robert Douse. So I don't think he's like ha because again turbulent relationship Apparently they had moved in and out. She had moved in and out of the home several times That's not good and then apparently the previous girlfriend was allegedly pregnant with Douse's child weeks before her death Everything you say doesn't look good for this guy. Oh, yes That I will say. Yes. And everything, every time you mentioned another detail

about this man, it sounds gross. He said that she had a quote unquote miscarriage. And so she was sad about the miscarriage before that she passed. This is Holland, his first girlfriend. He's trying to get his suit thrown out. He's trying to get, all these people are coming. He said, he was never named a suspect or hit with charges

But Hollins family claims that he played a role in her death So they are really they are they're working hard Jokenly calling him a murderer and she ended up dead very soon after that That's weird because well Dau seems also set up saying he spoke with her twin sister this was his first girlfriends twin sister and saying that apparently she was found crying and holding a gun. But we don't know whether or not that's lip service. We because that just came from the mouth of Robert Dowse. Okay. And they later on he met his new girlfriend on a dating site, which just happens.

And we just now they're coming for him. So we'll see what will happen. But we'll see what happens. Because right now, they have, he's still operating. He's still the fire captain. Man. I guess, you know, what's he gonna do? I mean, he could be very unlucky. That's the thing. He could be very unlucky. This is something that never happens, but it has to happen Sometimes and then maybe the two separate. Maybe he's an asshole and incredibly unlucky. Yeah, which come hand in hand Oh, it does seem to yeah, because it's not like a very great guy, you know, it's first wife committed suicide You know, but you can't blame that on somebody either. No, you can't. Because you don't know, because again, everybody makes those choices for themselves. Yeah.

So I don't know. Like that's, unless you are the story that we covered a little bit on side stories. Have you heard the story of Michelle Carger? Okay, who's this? This is like, it's very interesting. She's a weird looking girl and she is, she basically got convicted. Was this kind of connected to the Jennifer Cumbly case that we talked about last week about like,

she used texts. Oh, I know this. Yes, you know where my eyebrows are for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know this one. The story is that she convinced her boyfriend to commit suicide or critical belief. And she did. Or yes.

She very much did convince him. She got into his head, yeah. Yeah. But that was an egregious example It's very difficult to pin the actions of somebody trouble. Yeah, she went to jail. She went to jail I believe she received What was her what did she get in jail? I think that she got seems like it's a gray area Oh, it's extremely gray area, but we saw with that case and with the Jennifer crumbly case the idea of extreme

Lack of accountability. Yeah. All right, so she's out. She's served 12 months in jail. She's served a year in jail Okay, so good bit the idea of extreme extreme Accessory to the fact or like this idea that your negligence or your active Seeking of some bad results. We don't know how to call you a murderer But you're a murderer you're as close to it as it can get like anything with Jennifer crumbly It was like the idea of you go you buy a gun for your kid Who says that he sees demons who is drawing?

Dead bodies and bullets and guns in his class and he's purposely leaving out for his teachers to find and he's saying, find me a therapist. I want to kill people. And he's telling other people he wants to kill people. And he's basically screaming for help. And then you're laughing it off and saying, just don't get caught the next time when he was found Googling for bullets, how to buy bullets at a school computer center. He was trying to get caught.

He was trying to get caught. And so at that point, there's so many red flags that if you are just basically not a parent and you have added to the death of four people. And that's what the court proved. And Ethan Crumbly, this dude is like, again, I don't feel sympathy for anybody that kills anybody in this manner and does something, I guess, but this kid was absolutely fucked by family in the system as well.

Yeah, absolutely. Um, all right. Well, this is a fun way to end. Yeah. There's no week. I'm getting just so much bad stuff for this. There were no cute stories. I mean, the cutest story we had was the guy puking.

That's not cute. Well, the guy, the guy that was arrested for driving, the fish were cute, but the guy driving his car into the ocean and then when they pulled them out, they were like, we're not my fault. The truck don't surf. It was dumb. He got, he's got a misdemeanor. And if you look at his, look at his mug shot. Oh, he had a great time. This guy is a fucking problem. Yeah. Yeah. His name is my fault. The truck. Jason Bruskowitz This guy is a fucking problem. Yeah. Yeah. His name is a guy. My fault. The truck. Jason Ruskowitz. It's not his fault. Yeah. He is. No, it's not his fault, but he's also a pain in the ass. I could tell this guy is a new Samaritan

beach. That's the shark attack capital of the world. Yeah. I think it's the ass. Maybe that's what he was. I was trying to take your there. A make-up. I need to run over these sharks. But he was definitely intoxicated. No way. Yeah, I know. And yeah, he looks like it. He's definitely a Florida man. He made his choices. And it's entirely, yeah.

He, life didn't happen to him. He happened to life. Yeah. I'm gonna go kill these fish. I'm gonna go kill the ocean. Cause it's actually a new summer in the beach to be Jane fire from Tampa. Oh, well They don't kind of be um same problems or thing. Yeah All right, let's go. Let's get into some oh listen or email. I love these. I got two good ones. All right. Let's hear it

I got some feedback about the south end Chungus This is the South End Essex, it's a UK cryptid. Yeah. Not a lot of support. The Chungus is not among us. People were making fun of the Chungus and they don't think that the Chungus is real. But I believe in, I believe in all of you.

That said that they do believe in the Chungus because that's my job. I'm an, I am a cryptid. Apologist. I'm an acceptance. I'm an I am a cryptid, Apologist, I'm an acceptance leader, the cryptid community. So here's another UK cryptid, this person wrote about the story, it's called the Harry Hands of Dortmund. I live in the English county of Devon, which is on the very southwest tail of the UK. Devon is stereotypically known for farmers,

rural country living, etc. Dartmoor is a barren, bleak, and rugged national park in Devon. Covered in rocky tours, sprinkled with quaint English chocolate box villages, Dartmoor ponies, forests, hiking trails and gasses. A halt of the moor is a remote, no real towns or amenities for miles and miles, and that is right where the tiny hamlet village of Postbridge, the home of the Harry Hanses. The bleak and eerie nature of Dotbord has led to many legends, but the most famous is the Harry Hans ghosts. Legend goes that if you drive through

an around post bridge at night, you are risking the pair of large, disembodied Harry Hans, appearing suddenly and taking control of the car, steering wheel, or handlebars of motorcycles and veering you off the road violently. Now this is, I have heard about this. You have heard about this? Yes.

It is not you. If you calling card is good. You got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got able to control their vehicle on a particular remote stretch of Mawlin Road, some even swearing to have seen the beastly Harry Hans themselves. In 1921, the Dartmoor prison medical officer was killed when he lost control of his motorcycle, although his children in the sidecars survived. A few weeks later, a coach driver lost control and injured numerous passengers when they were violently thrown from their seats. The same year, an army captain reported that the hairy hands had gained control of his motorcycle, although due to fear of ridicule, the story was not published until after his

death. The hands also wandered away from the roads to stationary vehicles, with one particular report from a woman that the hans had tried to gain entry to her caravan and only retreated when she made a cross. There's no real explanation for the legend of the hairy hans. Some put it down to a man who died in an accident in the early 1900s haunting the area. Obviously, believe it is simply due to people driving carelessly around the narrow and meandering country roads too fast and losing control. Even the road surface has been blamed and

subsequently resurfaced just in case. However, the legend persists to this day and it's not unusual to drive the long way around the perimeter of Dort Park instead of risking the hands taking the wheel of do dad drive through the central meandering roads. That's a cool story. Yeah, I like hands. I like it. Yeah, just hands. Floating hands is cool. Yeah, and they're hairy too. Moments shots. Moments shots. That's what I brought up last week. Oh yeah. You should watch your moments shots. I'll watch it. It's creepy. It's weird. Here we go. Here's another one. Thank

you for the hairy hands. Thank you for the hairy hands. I was at work at circle K. This is maybe 2pm. Every Saturday we have a Frito lay chip stalker named Apollo coming to the store. Apollo is a cool guy. We talk about movies, music and conspiracy in general weirdness. Sure. We've talked about the Mothman prophecies and Men in Black several times. It's a normal Sunday. I'm talking to Apollo about this when this tall, somewhat pale man, dressed in a polo shirt and dressed pants,

walks into my store, holding a clipboard mid-thirties. He walks up to me and he sticks out his hand. Hello, my name is Steve. He speaks like he's never spoken before in a weird accent. I immediately feel uneasy. Hello. I'm running for city council and I wanted to see how business is. It's Saturday, it's not too busy or smaller store.

Okay. Okay. He leans forward into my face. Any troublemakers? At this point, Apollo is giving me a look of concern. He's thinking exactly what I'm thinking. Men in black. Give me sugar.

Sugar, water, water. Oh, we have a school in here, so sometimes those kids cause trouble, but other than that, not really. Okay, okay. Unprompted, he pulls out a business card and he hands it to me. Call me anytime you'd like. He also has his short biography written on paper. I got a photo of it. The photo is gone. But the biography, it's a massive claims of a college

education and military service. I wanted to see that though. Do you have a restroom I could possible use? I point to Steve in the direction of the bathroom and he goes, and I look at Apollo, who's now on his knee stalking chips. I whisper to him, Hey, did that guy creep you the fuck out? It's like, yeah, like a lot. He's a total man in black. Steve comes out of the bathroom and he walked up to Apollo standing behind him. I'd like to knock your hat off your head. Nah, that was a joke. Apologious nods at Steve silently as Steve heads to the door. I look at him as he walks out the door. I have a good one, sir. Steve walks up to me and glares. It felt like he was glaring into my soul. Steve. Oh yes. Have

a good time, Steve. And he left. Now I've been able to get Steve out of my mind for the two weeks He gave it in my store. I haven't seen a single city council for him not one vote for Steve banner anywhere I asked my friends and family who live around here none of them are voting for Steve are you voting for Steve? Have you we even talk about his policies? Yeah, which mostly involves him hovering expectantly You know like hey, I went up to I was so someone running for city council, I went up to them and I asked them, hey, is there someone named Steve on the ticket last year, this year? He's like, no, I haven't heard of anyone with that name. And ever since I saw Steve, I've been coming down sick.

Bad things have happened with my friends and family, my anxiety and paranoia have skyrocketed. Maybe I'm just manifesting something that doesn't exist because I'm a geek. But hey, maybe you're making connections to make men and black where they don't exist Or maybe you're right But he was dressed in white well a lot of times men and black is more of a term life. Yes, it's a it's a Entity that seems to mimic government officials around UFO activity it happened a lot in the Mothman

story. These like weird guys showed up after the fact acting like they were from the government but acting like aliens. A lot of times they say they look like they're wearing wigs or they're wearing wire all the way out of their pants. They're tall or very short, very strange looking. They all look like non-human. And they are, it's a lot, like it's all of these guys. And my boy, John Keel, had a run in with a bunch of men in black. And we did our whole series on men in black. They're actually really fucked up.

I've all booked on women in black too, which we'll get to at some point. I just don't think men in black are going to circle case. I think that it would depend on if they were also aliens there and they were working alongside circle case. Maybe Apollo's an alien You never know. Let's talk to Frito lay And that's why you wake up every day asking your co-workers. Are you fucking alien? That is important live every day

Looking for the science is your co-workers an alien. Do they bring food to work? Alien do they show up on time and ready to perform? Alien. Right? I used to get in trouble for showing up to work stone all the time, you know? And so like, yeah, and they'd be like, oh, you know, how do we, you know, I come in one day, I'm all chatty, you know? And like, Ed, could you not be so fucking stone? I was like, you'll know I'm stone when I just come in and do my job. Yeah, that's how you know I'm, I am stone. Yeah. I'm just working diligently. just come in and do my job. Yeah, that's how you know I'm stoned. Yeah, but I'm just working diligently. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm working. I'm stoned. Then you're gonna love the fact that weed is our performance enhancement drug here. Absolutely. Because it really does help me work. Weed helps me work. For research.

Yes, and like not writing. I can't do comedy. I don't like performing stoned at all. But that's how I honestly get a lot of work done. But all of a sudden, I do forget a lot. Yeah, well, that's the whole beauty of notes. Yeah. And that's why. And then also laughter. And then I laugh every day. They say, if you do what you love, you never work a day in your life, but actually it's very hard. It's very frightening. Yeah. Cause then the stakes actually really rise. And then you really don't want to lose that

job again. And how do you go back? Cause I don't have any other skills. So check out how really scary. It's really don't have any other skills. I don't want to lose that job again. And how do you go back? Cause I don't have any other skills. So check out, really scary. It's really scary. You really don't have any other skills. I don't have a single other skill. I was hanging out with Rory Scoville all week. That man is a near professional level or golfer. Yeah.

He can bake. He is, he's been selling his oil paintings. Well, he's a good savant. He's like a fully talented, he could do any, I was just like, you literally could do three other jobs. Yeah. Why do you do this? And he was like, this is what comes easiest to me. Yeah. That's incredible. That is incredible.

This is all I have. Yeah. This is you're in. I, this is it. So I am locked in. So check in. I need you to check out. So speaking of that, I need you to support patreon.com. You're the last podcast on the left. Check it out. We got every Tuesday, we're watching her stream live. We got new content coming to the Patreon. You're going're gonna love it and if you want to watch the podcast

It's on patreon. It's on patreon if you want to watch all the podcasts some of that might change But it would largely will not change we have new stuff in there You're gonna see go with you got the fucking tiktok and LP on the left. I don't know why but we've been asked to yeah We're asking the kids to go look at it It's on there anyway. You might as well be a part of it. Who gets a yanked all the music off. They could just listen to us. I guess so. I guess, you know, go in there and then check LPN TV on Twitch, twitch.tv slash LPN TV. We got shows all week. Yeah, you know, TikTok's fine. Yeah, I don't fucking know. The next brighter side lives going to be on the 21st of February. Great. Now on, on Twitch, that's 5pm Pacific.

Yes. Yep. And then next, you're going to be there 22nd. For good. But yeah, you're doing good. Put the 22nd. Yeah, I got to. Hell yeah. Got to. Got to bring it back. Yeah, of course. We're just waiting because then our beloved Eric, from our video department, he is going on paternity leave's squirting one out. And so he's doing nothing. He's a father. So he just kind of arrives. He's just his present. His presence must be there.

Mm-hmm. Or everybody gets mad. Yeah. Well, yeah. So he's very good at what he does. Of course. But I'm saying for here, he's very good at what he does. How soon is this baby coming? Soon. Really?

But when he leaves for parental leave, it's going to be, we might slow down on some of the content and then come back. We'll enter the video content, but not for the last five guys left the side stories. I don't even want telling you Yeah, why is it you're giving too much to saw so I just want them to know We're people here come we're getting a new baby We're getting a baby. We're getting a baby. Yeah LPN's getting a baby. That's what everyone needs to know That's all they need to know and it helps it helps Sell us mm-hmm foreign markets. know and it helps. It helps sell us to foreign markets.

Yeah. And if we can't sell us, we're selling that baby. Selling the baby because guess what? A baby is just a business opportunity. That's right. That's all I've ever heard about them is all they do is make you money. How many liters of blood in a baby? Fucking, just one, I guess one.

Right? Yeah, I'd imagine. I don't think they pack five liters into a baby. Man, that'd be wild if they did. Have you heard the earth is growing is it we're gonna talk about this thank God The earth is yeah, you say that the earth is growing and always started small but now it's big just the ground yeah We know is it because of the glaciers are melting no it says that the water It's created by the earth itself the waters created by the earth I guess everything is created by the earth if it's in the earth.

No. No? There were some people who said the water was there already or collects over time. How would water be there before earth? I mean it was there but it came out naturally. See, the earth was just a bunch of water. But the earth was provided by the atmosphere. But not according to some of my studies that I'm reading. See, the earth is just

grown naturally. I don't think I believe you. Yeah, if I can catch up with me. Go take a look at some of these sources, they just make you dumb. Hell, Harry Hens. Yeah, hell, Harry Hens. Harry and the Handersons. This is like a jerk off festival.

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