Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: What's The Goop?

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a shocking absence of tuna in Subway's tuna subs, a dog food factory worker experiences "pure alien hatred", an Alex Jones update, and MUCH MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories You think that Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks ever dated no I don't think they ever did but now that I think about it They make a cute couple cuz she's so flowy and he's so sticky. I'll just wear my tangerine. He's a sticky She's flowy. He's sticky Well, yeah, R.I.P. Tom Petty But listening to stop dragging my heart around just feel the tension and the whole time you're like, oh man I wish they had just kissed well, but that was just what I call. This is COVID theater. Yeah in my mind where I'm just so right

Unbelievably bored. Mm-hmm. I just spill out. I just imagine him kissing like I'm like I'm the editor of Tiger beat For a classic rock for people that are 55 years old. Uh-huh. Absolutely old Tiger beat I think that that would make a great couple Stevie Nicks I mean she did not have a good time because she had to bone what that to Lindsay Lindsay Buckingham is disgusting Tom Petty is much better Although the reason that Fleetwood Mac had such tension in their songs is because of all the in fucking human centipeding Yeah, that whole band was one at some point in the night It's weird when you go into a room with everybody you're playing instruments with and everybody knows what everybody's dick and pussy looks like

I guess that's what the theater community. You can imagine because of the way that they played the oh it must have been quite Otaris as well. They gave it their heart. They really did but honestly, hopefully Stevie Nicks when she dies She can go up to heaven with Tom Petty. I don't even say it But hopefully in heaven they can finally make love to you. Well, I think that would be wonderful Welcome to side stories everyone. I am ban hanging out with Henry sure Tom Petty in the heartbreakers some fantastic songs But you're right. Did they have the same emotional strain that Fleetwood Mac had no Because can you imagine Tom Petty having sex with all of the heartbreakers mostly large men? I don't think it would have resonated the same musically as Fleetwood Mac with beautiful Stevie Nicks

I went out and I took the bass player out and we went to Shoneys last night That's right as many corn pops as I can watch him go and I was like you get your money's worth down get your money's worth He was horrible to fuck really so you fed Tom Not a woman you fed Tom Petty a bunch of corn pops and had sex with him and it wasn't good for music It wasn't good too. Who's kidding for me? Well, that's good. Well, at least don't give him the subway tuna fish sandwich I can honestly the only reason why I'm bringing this up because it seemed to be what was brought to my attention that there was a

deafening silence from you specifically Issue and according to snopes, you know, it's legit. They're saying it is uncertain whether or not this is real or not Subway sandwich chain is currently in a subject of a lawsuit saying that their their tuna Contains no actual tuna so many things going on fish or fish of any kind so many things going on right now in the world And so many reasons to actually fire lawsuits down the pipe against large corporations this I don't know because I haven't had the tuna sandwich before I'm not gonna say I love it. I'm not gonna say it's horrible. I my tuna sandwich order which I used to do at subway. You've told me this

It's disgusting. I get the tuna sandwich I get it full up and I say put an extra lump because you know, they always do three lumps I want four lumps and they sometimes do it. And I think that's what Dustin Diamond said when he went to the doctor and now We love you Dustin. Well, honestly, we love you Dustin a complicated life. He was a human Was he not he was more human than most and honestly if Jesus wasn't if Jesus wasn't fake Wouldn't it be nice? He's never sin. They say Jesus loved the complicated person. Yes, he did Jesus the character Loved a complicated person and if you wherever it is that you go next. Hopefully they're laughing absolutely They will be laughing and I hope they treat you better than a see Slater did wow because you look at what happens when you're

Traumatized in high school. They abandoned they abandoned him They they yes, he was very good at chess, but did they give him respect? No, they did not apparently he was a massive problem on set Yes, he was quite annoying on set But we do have to also look in talking about investigative reporting regarding subway sandwiches Which we'll get back to in a second, but what's in the hamburgers at Max's at the max human meat human meat Perhaps that caused the Dustin Diamond cancer, which is why he's no longer with us RIP to be honest I think that the cancer had something to do with the fact of the water where he lived in the middle of Yep, he lived in the middle of Michigan

No, I thought he was in Michigan He may have he may have done the full Midwest journey. He might have yeah, and then also apparently Um, this is a little bit of a dog whistle to hold him McNeely. This is true Apparently had an a lump on his neck that he didn't check for like a year And it turned out that that was an extension of thyroid like basically he got a tumor on this. It was a tumor It's a was a tumor Oh, no on the side of his neck, but he was afraid to get it checked out And that's why it's important for you to get a GP if you can afford it if you can have insurance

What's a GP a general practitioner and get your body checked because also hold them You should think about the fact that he's growing eggs right now Oh, yeah, well check out hold it on wizard and the bruiser don't just think about he for his lumps But yes, let's talk tuna now This is according to subway they this lawsuit came out and they said according to a quote-unquote Independent investigation which is again by the way the only time Kisselin Zabrowski incorporated would ever be called on an independent investigation would be for this And I'd be like, okay, we better go to a subway. We got to get two different footlongs Henry

You're in charge of licking the tuna and then I'll gauge it I'll gauge how much you liked it and see if it's real or not I'll tell you if it's to an R not about whether or not I have a seizure when I'm eating it Now this guy apparently they have this was like a long fucking good. It was a big old like operation This person was really upset they did several independent tests of multiple samples sold at different locations And they showed according to their research the absence of tuna or even a fish protein All right, so then the question must be What is it because you're getting something plopped on your fake bread?

And it's also I believe made of yoga mat equipment, but you know what that's what gives it It's not real bread. It's not real tuna. You are eating pure Imagination that is pure American imagination is when you hold that foot long which is more was honest 11 inches Yeah, yeah, you Another lie salty. This is how we got to Trump But listen the while yes, it did lead the slippery slope to the I'm gonna say this dumb fuck fascism that we almost got Um, but the guy just can't believe the these sandwiches Okay, oh wow you're really serious. I am because I defended HPB when we talked about Helena Blavatsky

Yes, and I depend I defend up to a point people like Anton LeVe these ideas of up to a Magical thinking magical thinking yes the idea of Sometimes you're buying a package and the package is what makes you feel something like when you go to see John Edwards Not the former politician who had sex with somebody who was documenting his every move in life because his other Wife at home was screaming at him all the time. All right P. Elizabeth sad, but John Edwards crossing over you go And you know he doesn't know you but it's a show maybe maybe when he sounds like em Oh, my mother did die her name was Mary and maybe he does speak

For your mother to you just momentarily enough to make you feel not alone. Is it worth it? Perhaps it is I don't know. I feel like the problem is you're taking money from these people So that's where the lie comes in that's the problem is that you are if you are taking people's money You're selling them a lie If you can have the understanding that it's a show and that con men these quote-unquote magical con people They they run a line that is you buy into the idea of themselves that they are selling and so You are actually 50-50 circuit creating the magic It's a creating you're creating a magic moment for yourself and also sometimes if you don't pay

You don't treat it with much respect No, sometimes they say you'll have more fun if you do pay because you've invested you've invested You're a part of the night and so you you go to a subway tuna sandwich shop invest your hard-earned money You look at it and it looks like tuna. It smells like yeah, well, that's do it. It smells It smells like Subway tuna, you know, I mean, okay, so you're buying this You know great and again the greatest way to truly smell subway sandwiches or Taco Bell Bring them into an area or bring them into a place where that sandwich or that cuisine is not sold subway

Sandwich have it actually in a New York City subway Then you smell the two really you really understand what we're talking about sneak Taco Bell into a movie theater Everyone's gonna know that smell of Taco Bell, but you don't if you're in a Taco Bell realize you don't smell engine It is yeah But then all of a sudden you emerge from a subway and you reek of whatever their foam bread is or whatever the tuna is But again, you wanted it. You went to the store. You got it You like the taste of whatever it is. So do you to the eating that tuna sandwich when I got my tuna sandwich I got my four lumps. I covered in barbecue chips. That's I eat that but guess what I am enjoying that sandwich

Is it tuna? Maybe not but what is it? I like it. Well, that's the most okay I'm gonna put Fox News has been kissle here. Wow. I'm actually gonna defend subway on this. Oh god You're going through you're going to fight for the corporation. I am gonna defend subway first of all They had a small snap food with Jared Fogle. Yes, he lost a lot of weight But evidently he only lost that way to look more like a child so he can lure them into his Atmosphere that is very bad be up. You have to dress for the job that you want I have strangely done some research on the subway side of this. They say these claims are insane and they Promise dare why they promise that it's all tuna and they almost went to the extent of

Sacrificing a tuna on live TV to show us that it is indeed tuna. They better subway is letting us know they fucking matter You know, I'm holding your feet to the flame According to subways quote-unquote nutritional information page which you could put any anybody can have a go daddy account Sure, it's close. It says flake tuna blended with creamy mayo You know what I'm not saying honestly is any quotation marks in there But you see the entire sentence on in this article is Surrounded by quotation marks because then you could say legally they got you because it's still only question quote-unquote Tuna what is it the tuna also they say they do confess and contains an additive to protect flavor

Because you got to protect that flavor and what a great service and what a great flavor mayonnaise and salt is because that is all But true talk, okay, let's just for a second fantasize. It's not tuna Yeah, what is it then what is in the we just get the dollops on our little sandwich? But in reality, there's tops that get delivered every day Every big tubs huge tubs of whatever it is. Yeah to fill our big tubs as an American people. It's massive So, what is it honestly if you want it? I mean, I'm scared like to me the it is so much scarier To do like is it is it soy? Why would it be so I don't think it would be I do this human flesh I do this powerful thing where anytime one of these like troubling questions come up

I just delete them like I just sit there and I as I'm about to eat it I just go like question no one's asked of course. No, I mean no one's A world just a human world deeply afraid to ask well if it's Republican senator I'll buy fucking five of these a day there can only be 50 of them made I Mean, I don't know how much you carve out of every like I think a chuck grass Like you can flake his skin and you could probably get a good amount of subway sandwich tuna meat I guess but how much can you actually get off of these old farts? It is a hundred percent grade a American protein flake that is the craziest thing about all of it if it find out it's not to but what's the goop

Good question. The whole there's been movies predicated upon this and you know what it turns out to be It's always people but sometimes it comes from a vat that they discovered you know Is an alien substance that came from underneath the ground kind of like with the stuff drowning in the drowning? Okay, three options. You have to do you will drown you drown in a vat of subway tuna hmm you drown in a Strong pussy juice breast milk. No, not not pussy. Must the amount of no no not breast milk You don't get anything you want. Okay Disgusting rumpel mints. What is rumpel mints? Rumpel mints is that sweet liqour that you got it

But it's very strong and actually subway tuna subway tuna so far. Yes rumpel mints or I'd eat my way out of the tuna. You can't eat your way out of it. It's too much to know or Oh, oh sloppy Joe Sloppy Joe, right? Joe guy to maybe the rumpel mints, but then it would it really burn the body Yeah, the liqour and the alcohol if you have one shaving mishap So fucking ruin your night any who will keep you up to date on what's going on And if we find out that it is human remains

We'll definitely let you know and that'll be finally a bigger scandal than having their spokesperson have sex with a bunch of kids If we find out they've also been serving us human meat. I'm gonna say this subway take a time out I think that they maybe after Jared. I think a lot of things went wrong inside. It's just in prison He's as fat as his cell now. He just he just now honestly He's living his chronicle best life in jail just like a loving it just be not Good as bad as a sale. It's just so much easier to just continue to be the subway spokesperson But I guess he went he wanted to make his life a little bit more difficult. Well speaking of difficult lives We've got to talk about this story because this is a bit of a update a 60 year update

I guess it is we're going to mother Russia and we're gonna talk about Sisters of Mercy this comes with the whole sisters of mercy That's a that's one of my goth dance bands. I listened to when I just trying to feel something at my house I just want to feel what's like it and fuck when my emotions are just taken over by the club I always wonder with my friends like what's the Venn diagram of of oh? Wow similarity that they have with their wives and I would assume that that I could see you and Natalie both dancing to that Oh, yeah, well, she likes her Beyonce. She likes Beyonce. Oh, yeah, like some dark cryptic She likes to dance. Oh, yeah, and that's very performative. Oh, yeah, I love to watch it

Yes, indeed on this story is from the National Geographic there has been an update on the diatlov Pass incident and how many times people have sent this in this this email people sent this to us in emails Yeah, and they're all like this story is wild y'all. It's crazy But it's not it. What do you mean? They're saying it's an avalanche Wait, what? Yep, they basically what theory came out a long time ago But it wasn't an avalanche because of how the bodies were all found and because this is what I'm saying was still intact and stuff like that They put a lot of other research together. This was a fucking avalanche. Yes, they're saying we don't know yet

Though they didn't answer all of the questions the apparently they got together the thing that's wild about this is that they reopened the case They got together with the people that created the snow animation for frozen because this guy that was a snow expert Which is sounds like what you call your guy in Miami. Yes, that's I think that's our financial advisor is a snow expert But you guys they went and gave the teamed up with them because they thought it was so realistic the way they portrayed snow and frozen that they Did these analytics? They basically put all of these kind of things together of how because the When it was originally researched by it was originally investigated by the Russian government They said avalanche and everyone's just like oh, yeah King of fucking cryptic secrets Russia. Sure. Yeah, it's avalanche. Absolutely. This is the 1970s

We're supposed to expect. What is this Brezhnev coming out of the Kremlin? I'm not sure if he was in charge there, but either way we can't trust anything they say We really can't but they came out with this other story basic that now that they reopened the case They're saying it was a tiny avalanche that kind of breaks down That there's what they broke it down It kind of makes sense But they also still don't answer the other questions that everybody else has the questions to which is like why do they remove all their clothes? Why do the one guy have his tongue fucking bitten out of his mouth?

Yes, why are the other people were why were they cut open? No, but this or they are but what they're saying is it was an avalanche that hit. There was like a way to show that essentially They were on what was a 30 degree slope, which is apparently the minimum degree slope for an avalanche a tiny avalanche done by a baby avalanche and that they Straight up they have this science thing where they're saying that avalanches can be delayed That you basically they set up and that an avalanche can happen hours later, especially if there's a seismic event or something like that That causes it a big fart Yeah, yes, thank this is God. It must have been so difficult to have you as a high school student. Oh, I was horrible

I was in the back of the class constantly and in college and in the front of the class That's how fucking along you were when you're laying down. I'm fucking I hate everything. I hate everything I'm ready to disappear. It wasn't horrible. Um, but they uh, they said a tiny earthquake could have happened hours later They can cuss of force could have been the thing that caused all their internal injuries But then still they escaped in the middle of the night when the avalanche happened some succumbed to their injuries from the avalanche Some got hypothermia, which is why they took a lot of them and go then were devoured by animals But it's a lot of different things they just are saying they just now think for certain That is that at least part of this was a tiny avalanche. Well, let's blame it on the yeti's yep

They see how easy that is let's blame it on the yeti's instead of the avalanche and now their theory is completely Debunked by Ben frickin kissle. Also was 1959 That's when the expedition began and we know a lot about the expedition because one student It was a 23 year old engineering student Igor did love He had to turn back because he had joint pain. So isn't that nice arthritis? Can save a life. Yeah, it really can. Yes, it yes, it can It was a large tent they pitched apparently and of course the mountain it can be named or interpreted as Dead mountain, but I think cool now. That's mostly got to do with cell phone signal, but they are they don't know

Okay, so it continues to be and I don't know so I know that it was exciting and it seemed to be exciting But then upon reading it and I know that your scientists out there. They're like it is exciting I love avalanche sites. I understand that maybe up to a point. It was Exciting for you, but for me It's not well according to Freddie Wilkinson He says people love to invent in plausible scenarios Yeah, they're more exciting than other bad ones than the dumb ones. Yes, right the real ones in avalanche can be kind of exciting There's been certain movies based upon avalanches, and then of course you see all these big yes

And we all love Dante. That was also about his hairline. There was nine people dead Seven men and two women and we're never getting them back. I guess if you have to die in nature avalanche They said the main thing the reason why that Long time people said that they didn't think that they died from an avalanche was because of the concussive injuries because their heads were battered And their ribs were broken, but they're saying of a 30-foot shelf of ice fell on them. It might have done that Oh, they don't know but the normally with an avalanche you die of asphyxiation You basic you fucking choked death inside of the snow. Hmm. That makes sense. It sounds like a fucking nightmare

Yeah, it doesn't sound very fun. At some point you'd get so cold. You can't feel anything though. I guess All right. Well speaking of not feeling anything. Let's move on to murderers. I love um, you know again We're all stuck inside Are you trying to make excuses for the next story? We're stuck inside. That's not an excuse to kill anybody That's an excuse to play too many video games or maybe eat too much. I agree chili, which evidently is normal Thanks for all the tweets everyone loves pork chili. It is very good. If you make it right, it's a white chili Chili

Now this this story this story comes from the Daily Mail So you know, it's a you know, it's legit You know, it's one of our favorite most trusted news sources here on side stories. This story comes to your conversations about crisps They are the best they really are and we are we're all stuck inside and then sometimes, you know with these pornos Everybody's having sex with their family. So maybe it's becoming normal. You know, I mean Well, it is on that. I don't but the thing in the porn again, they're not really family members They're not just so you know, it's still illegal. Don't have sex I don't know if it's illegal to have sex with your seps tiblings steps. I don't know

I don't know don't don't don't not today, but this story These people went ahead and did that this is called women pleads guilt This story goes woman pleads guilty to murdering her sister's boyfriend by injecting him with homemade meth Strangling him burying him digging him back up and then dismembering him in a six Valentine's Day incest plot that was set up so that the sister Could marry the father. So she she did this out of love for her sister You say love I'd say lost this is no she was set up Anna Marie Chowdhury, I am I'm gonna fucking try to fucking pronounce her

Chowdhury Chowdhury Chowdhury her sister Amanda McClure and their father Larry now Larry McClure They all took part in killing Amanda's boyfriend John McGuire in February 2019. They were all at Larry's homes in Skygusty, West Virginia I don't know why I thought this was a West Virginia story, but I knew it well Skygusty. That's one of the better place Places to visit there in West Virginia. So the story is is that straight up they had that this is what came from there They started breaking it down and figured out what the exact story was and just to give some insight into the ages of these people We're talking and Marie Chowdhury 33 Amanda McClure 31 John McGuire 38 and the father a Spring chicken at 55 years old Larry McClure. So these guys they really they packed it all in they really really did now So okay Larry McClure is been apt to actively fucking his own daughter Amanda McClure

No, this is a 23 years younger than him a biological daughter. Oh, yeah. Oh my it is self-made And then that is not what it means to be a self-made man That's like you start an Arby's and all of a sudden you franchise it and you're like wow I'm king of the beef even though you're still dependent on Arby's No, now this comes from Anna Marie Chisholm Anna Marie Chowdhury is the sister, right? So she it was I guess previously married or something. I don't know why she has a different last name. It's complicated Yeah, but she was dating a guy named John McGuire So they know that this is the story that finally came out Amanda finally pled guilty because she was sort of railroaded into this

Okay, so here's the story Amanda and John were living in Minnesota at the time And they were driving to Indiana when their car broke down Larry and Anne Marie. This is they're fucking They went to collect them and took them back to sky gusty Okay, now this is on Valentine's Day John the boyfriend. Okay, I bought steaks potatoes at a bottle of wine for him and Amanda to have a nice Romantic meal. Oh, nothing says romance like potatoes. It does it does if you do him right with a gritan I don't know what it's like in sky gusty. I don't know what the potatoes are like But I I hope they're fan steak potatoes and wine fancy night in it is But imagine if you look at the two of them, what a beautiful couple then

the only way to describe it is that John McGuire looks like if K fed and Bon Jovi had a genetic mix up and you know in a horrible Horrible Jeff Dunham puppet. Wow. Did you just reference Kevin Federline? Yes, I did I can't believe that I was able to even get the reference He's still around. I guess he's still around. Um, so the couple we're not that Brittany is free from her parental controls Perhaps they can rekindle their love but think about how the thing about how met fucking Majestic this Valentine's Day was so they're about to have their steak their potatoes in their wine, but instead They were joined by his girlfriend's father and the daughter, right?

I'm so confused right. Yeah, so is the Sister-in-law, okay, so what dad okay? What is the daughter that the father has had sex with the daughter that the father is having sex with? Is now the daughter that is being treated like a queen like a queen the steak potatoes Okay, so Amanda's at home with her boyfriend her sister and her father show up and Thank you, you literally and I do think at some point they there must have been a hint that daddy and daughter were like Like there was tension. It was sexy. It was like it was like Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty in the recording studio Right in your imagination. Yes. And so they've been having fun. They were all having fun, right? They bust in this is Valentine's Day So they've been having fun until Amanda

She had this like funny idea for a game or she would prove this is a weird game She said that hey, we I can untie myself from anything Sexy game Uh-huh father and your sister and your boyfriend, so they decided to because earlier that day They had made some homemade meth because this is when they said amary said this is when things started to get strange Okay, first of all, you don't have to clarify homemade meth. There's no other way to make it So they got to so for some reason they decided to all tie up John, right John became the subject No, no, no, they just theta we should have this like fun tie-down game

So they're full of their full of steak full of potatoes half drunk on wine and full of crystal meth now not yet Not yet. Okay, so they tied up John, right? He sat down and he said I don't know and he said he sat down And he she said it was a grin that I'll never be able to describe But as John said because I think he thought he was about to have sex with the girlfriend his sister and then the father would Just be there watching from the corner, right? Wait, this is West Virginia and a and then there's all this is a lot of meth romance So the victim the future victim is now tied up with the daughters and the father And this is the father of both of the girls women. Yes

So so John is now he has been the they tied him up and they were about so the dad is gonna cuck out Let me go me. Let me let me just okay, please God So John is sat down. He's tied up right but it all happened so quick so Amanda stood up This was the girlfriend and she bashed him on the back of the head with the fucking wine Well, why did she do that? You're gonna we're gonna get to it And the next thing I know is that John had reared up He was leading up against a wall He was holding his head and that's when Larry looked at me and told me if I knew was best for my children and it

Wanted in the lift. I would follow all instructions that were given to me from now on right? So she said this is how we're Amory and Marie She was just kind of a part of this whole shit and Annemarie is the girlfriend of the dad who is also the dad's daughter Yes, okay, they got together They started torturing John all night by beating him with sticks and he's standing on them doing the same But apparently they had been all Jack. They didn't know that up until this point They had all been doing meth all day The father Larry was convinced that John was a federal informant and he kept demanding to know who he was

He said that he's gonna tell on all of us. He's gonna tell on all what would he be telling I Have no fucking clue. Okay, and so maybe was it do we know did he not cook the potatoes properly? I don't know not well done or I don't know I assume these are well done steak people for Yes, I do think ketchup steak. I do assume that but guess they did it because they thought that it was the only way for The father and the daughter to finally marry each other So they were so he was thinking this guy is in between the love that I have with the daughter that I created So we have to kill him and in order to do that We also have to torture him a bunch and we have to do math

But then they have to they were gonna give him this like shitty math that they had met that more made that morning I didn't crystallize yet So they gave him the math but instead of it galing him with an overdose and said made him stronger They gave him the use so they had to he started fight and struggle and so eventually she was forced to buy her own father It's according to her put a plastic bag over his head until he was dead. Oh, all right apparently to prove he was dead as well they drove bed nails through his body with a sledgehammer and did a whole series of brutal cuts and different types of things to make sure he was dead he was and

Wow, I can't I don't know if you're an this is where again I do have respect levels definitely when it comes to detectives if you walk into this crime scene You're looking at a dude tied up injected with crystal meth found with bed nails and dead and then a dad a daughter And another daughter and I am now clear on this this fucking twisted Ozarks level plot line Okay, Amanda It wasn't Anne-Marie the sister the girl with the boyfriend was the one who was having an affair with her own father All of this shit was set All right, so he was fucking her own way so she all of this was okay

So if you if you aren't having sex with your own father out there and you want to break up with your boyfriend You don't have to kill him you just tell him that and then he'll leave everyone will leave He'll leave you will have your father, but no one else and I mean it's I'm looking at the family and I you know, I've not seen it. I don't fully see that. Oh, you don't see the heat You don't know why you don't know why Amanda and the father would would just fucking so ready to pull each other's clothes off The victim John Maguire honestly, he is the most normal looking of all of them He looks like he really really enjoys west coast choppers and as soon as he gets enough money He's gonna buy his favorite way. He's not ever all good

And then Amanda actually looks kind of that's the she looks normal And then the dad just looks like someone who has to eat when his teeth are put back in he looks like he's really kind of An aggravated he looks like one of the people that Travis finds on tiktok all the time We're just an old man making cuddling tongue. Yeah and talking about Donnie and he is only 55 years old, mr. Larry McClure, although I have to say Maybe having sex with your own daughter ages you twice as fast because he looks about 110 I mean this is not this the only covid shenanigans it's going on this comes from this is another story that is very interesting Which is and just lastly on this one

They are all looking now they were in the sentencing phase because obviously this happened last year And they were all looking at around 40 years in prison And so you can just imagine they brutally murdered a man. Yeah This story comes from this next one's another one which has been like we're in covid Doesn't have anybody just can't people just fucking calm down for a second Well, I think it's making people much less calm than ever this comes from the tb daily news Stinnett police chief gets caught cheating on wife after both mistresses He proposed who discovered each other on facebook and unravel his lies. It's really unfortunate that you can no longer

Maybe it's fortunate. Maybe it's unfortunate It's definitely unfortunate for people who would like to live a double life the double life can no longer be done The double life it cannot be done. It's much more difficult to be done, but it's definitely way more More difficult to do when you constantly declare that you're in relationship with another person on facebook Jason's also not just a sheriff. He's also an ordained minister. So you can tell this guy. I'm an ordained minister Well, you are something Ordained you are yes in a different sense. I don't think he went to the church of saint to get his no No, no, no, that's I'm technically only I'm ordained in new york and that was for marcus

That was it. So no weddings in pennsylvania for you. No, no, no, no, all right So he's an ordained minister. So he's basically and a sheriff. He is so classic This is so classic like setting the stage for like that's a good normal guy Well, it's also like in fortune fire double family fortune fire in every episode when they show someone who you know When they do the pre-interviews where they try to show you like you oh, you should care about these people I do care about I do too But when they show that video where it's like every single time it's a man being like I never give up My constitution shows that I will never I will never surrender all I do is I stick it and get tough

And then they always Fucking pass out. You know what I mean? They're the ones that always pass out or like something goes wrong and the thing and they have to be like our god To stop, you know, they always are the ones that give up So the guy that is both I have to say this in defense of the fortune fire. It's very hot in there. I am not It's very difficult But I'm saying the editors do them dirty by always singling the parts where they're like my martial arts training actually allows me to Face any obstacle that comes my way

Well, they don't do that. I'm blown away and by the way, I've gotten many messages thanking me for turning people on to blown away and yes They say the word glory hole out of that too much for no one smiles. No one smiles. They need to smile I think it's still funny. Okay, but this guy So can I just do this well about the two webs? Yes, they're very pretty. Well, that's what he did. The problem is that the old life Was starting to see some wear and tear so he is still married to this woman who's very sweet looking He is married to a woman named opal. They got two kids two step kids, right? He is both a sheriff and a reverend, which means he is a professional liar. Yeah

He ended up in this storyline with this other woman named Cecily who was very sweet They got to me. He he started dating in the very uh, I guess it was in the very beginning of november three weeks later He started dating this woman on the side and he started he proposed her On facebook and she has a full life with him where she's got pictures of them together on facebook Him them hanging out with her kids her the profile pictures of them kissing together He showed her a forge document saying my former wife opal, you know, like rest her soul Like doing the national ampoules christmas vacation thing He said where marriage was in an old was an old you're gonna take take a look at this paperwork

And he sent her a fake piece of paperwork that he just added himself And if you look at the the paperwork that he he sent out, this is a forge document These are obviously the same person doing these two signatures. Yeah, that's pretty obvious Also, I'm not sure if that's the annulment paperwork. I don't really know what that looks like and I hope never too So Cecily about a week ago She updated her facebook profile with a picture of the two of them together and they're gonna spend together They're gonna they're going to spend the rest of their lives together But then two days it was about a five days after that

You know it's serious here because there's some pictures of them taken in a starbucks. That's huge Because honestly you reveal the order you guys have combined orders and we're like well that's a week Yeah, that's what we get. That is the next level and this woman to be fair to opal. She didn't know She had no clue but she seems happy as a bug and she is just super thrilled to find her new love Absolutely, but with the what happens what this is what happens all of a sudden about five days later at this other woman named Christy Schaefer She starts posting on the facebook of the actual sheriff's department where he is like joking making funny little things Cut to two pictures of them at this starbucks, right?

So now there's another person all the way all together and they have decided they met in december 1st by december 16th He said actually now you and me are gonna get married. He has a whole other other sideline Well and christy schaefer obviously we're not doing hero of the week But she is every lady needs a friend like christy schaefer. She is friends with sessily, of course They didn't know that they were like friends, but they had no that wasn't even the first wife. That's the first girlfriend That's the first girlfriend So christy schaefer she's put on her sleuth cap and you know for a fact she's getting to the bottom of this It wasn't difficult. He posted pictures of them. Well, it's still a lot of that's me typing

No, she said she thought no the pictures came out It's because sessily put up a facebook post of saying me my new boyfriend And then she looked at the pictures like that's my boyfriend. That's the sheriff It's just this wild story. I just love these kind of interpersonal like this is a this is a facebook post by sessily steinmetz She says chief jason collier is living a double slash triple triple That's a double triple life And he says I was his girlfriend and tell yesterday. He lied to me and presented me with a fake annulment She's really going in a lot of times. She also says not a mask in any one of these pictures

Well, it's a picture pictures pictures can't breathe I also found about a second girl. I found out about a second girl christy last night He lied to us our children and asked us both to marry him Wow, and then did you know what the biggest? This is she says he is a poor representative He is a poor representative of your town Well, it seems to be he also kind of sort of lied about getting shot

On the job where you say he got hit by he said he got quote unquote A guy that he worked with did get shot and he got hit with quote-unquote bullet bullet fragments, which might have been true But they said they kind of trumped it up. That's one thing and then also went to the same Starbucks with the same people And then guess what came up right at the same picture and when the blog post came up guess what happened? What Katie Barry Carter another woman came forward and says, um, he's also my boyfriend So he's got three. He's got three. How does he have the time? And I'm gonna say this to you again all all y'all ladies men out there. Just know this if your partner out of nowhere

Starts getting real hot because if you look at these pictures here, he obviously lost about 30 pounds He definitely lost from this picture with opal until this picture With cecily. He's definitely lost about 30 pounds If your partner out of nowhere Just starts getting jacked and you don't know why and it's not you're not kumail nangiana You remember millions of dollars coming to make you jack healthier, but I mean like if it kind of comes Unprompted and all of a sudden they're dressing better and doing all this shit and spend a lot more time being super late at work They are

Making moves to get away from you. It is possible. So start putting You got to start putting like I'm not gonna say what if you're what if you're like an x-lax you want to hobble them a little bit physically I'm gonna say this you want to hobble them physically. I'm not a lawyer. You want to hobble them physically and then Start to go through their phone while they're sick. No, I don't think that's a good idea I mean all these things you could do on your phone because they seem to be posted to public profiles on facebook He's not good at this. No, he's very bad. Yeah, would you think as a sheriff you think you'd be better? Well, I think he felt cloaked in the power of the badge, perhaps Well, let's talk a little bit speaking of people who have power that probably don't need power and have since had

Waning power. Let's just talk a little bit about alex jones. We don't discuss him very often It's not any more But just a bit of an update remember sandy hook big of true. That's what he said big of true I do remember I know we're brave every day every day I actually think about it quite often if you think about how sad it is with the 26 people that were murdered there Um, many children six years old imagine that yes very sad Well, alex jones, he can officially be sued go get by the parents of the children who were killed Because of course he said that those parents were crisis actors and then he had those parents hunted by his neanderthal

Neanderthal fan base a bunch of freaking unshowered unlaid Disgusting cream cheese filled marmots, but honestly if you want to buy some merch go to last podcast merch.com Honestly, if you're out there and you're looking for a new fan base. We're at well. We will be your new fan base I remember when I was doing and when I was filling in for alan combs on fox news radio This young kid used to call with all the alex jones conspiracy theories And he would be like it's all true and I really hope that I changed his mind and hopefully the deposition Where alex jones had to admit that he is nothing more than a showman aka a conman

Helped that cause as well to degrade his power 21st graders and six educators killed in sandy hook. They can now or the parents rather can now sue alex jones For defamation calling it a giant hoax and hopefully and I don't wish I don't like canceling bullshit whatever But alex jones purposely did this it was so much easier for him not to hound the parents of dead kids like so much easier I always wake up every day and be like he's lost everything. What's the whole plot? He's lost everything He fucking dropped character. He's alex jones is no longer relevant Thank you. You talk about a you talk about a dumb

effin Dr. Frankenstein. Yeah, he created a more dumb monster than frankenstein's monster And now he has no idea what to do. He created all this and he has no control over it anymore And he's he's just lost the plot. He's not in charge or anything. So this is alex jones trying to reel back His entire radio career. This is what he said in march 2019 He says I myself you can do it. You can do it in alex jones accent. Yeah, I guess I can I'm myself perfect All right, who does it matter? I myself have almost lost all forms of psychosis back in the past

Here we go. I honestly it was a it is hard. That's real. I myself No, that's uh myself have almost had like a form of psychosis. We're just doing southern back in the path I mean, that's him where I basically thought everything was staged. Even though I'm now learning a lot of times things aren't staged Thank you, alex jones. Great. Good work. Sandy. But isn't that a nice coming of age story? Yeah, but he's still won't Specifically say that it's all real. He still won't do it on his show. He'll do it in court But he won't do it on his show. Oh my god Which is like which I don't understand you could just with conspiracy theories That's what I never understood about these guys that doubled down like you always can just move the goalpost to another thing. Why?

Stake destroy your whole conspiracy theory career by doing this Like you could have let the fucking you could have let it go a long time ago And have had moved on onto other conspiracy theories and propagate them and do other things be might be more diversified And this is a lesson about diversification to media Oh, I agree. Here's another one of the fathers. Just lastly. He said I held my son He says he had a bullet hole through his forehead the the bullet exited through the back of his head Where the wound was the size of a softball. Yeah, dude. It's awful. All right. So anyway, good. Thank you. Kissel. That's great Thank you for no, it's important to remember that these are not crisis actors because there's still millions of people who think they are

No, they are not they are not it happened and if they are actors Come on down to hollywood Because they're great. They are honestly, they're amazing. They'd be incredible. But honestly, I do like the I do like the phenomena of crisis actors It is a it's a fascinating topic that we will cover at one point have the ever been used I have no clue. That's the thing because I get the idea. I don't think so. I Who knows? I think it's the the media does frame things in a way that we don't fully understand and obviously things are Done on purpose and edited and staged and and more likely than not. It's recreated and then what the problem is Then also you're in this gray area where if they recreate it to try to make the moment that happened naturally again

You then immediately are saying well This is now well and and that of course is the fault of the media for allowing these things to have growth Because you do have videos that are classics such as the cnn reporter in a canoe Like rowing and then a guy walks past him. Oh, yeah, you're like, can you just not yeah About the dumb shit. It makes everybody not trust you exactly This is an update that said apparently there's remember that story we covered with Sexual liaisons with the aliens when we did that episode. I want to say last year every day. I think about that Yeah, the story of peter quarry who's apparently the guy that was awoken would have by appear

This is in the late 90s in sydney australia. He was awoken by what appeared to be two females both striking and unearthly kneeling on His bed and then he got his world rocked by this But when he woke up, do you remember he had a painful human hair like it was wrapped so tightly around the tip of his Yes, I remember that now I remember it. Yes, and it said that was some form of very um rare Human rural asian dna. He's like rural china. Well, you just cover yourself with coffee It is nice though to see if it does look like you've been drinking out of a bowl of shit When you're fucking mustache. Oh my god. It's like like i'm next to

Can we continue on with the story please? Yes, I've just spilled coffee all over myself. You got it donny jr um But apparently this guy in this dna might have matched The betty and bernie hill abduction case They believe that some dna may have found on the dress of betty hill that they think matches the same hair That was wrapped around the cock Of peter quarry is that weird? There's really nothing else to that story. You know it is weird

You know what henry? It's weird. That is weird. Yeah, it's nothing else. Sorry. It is that so the cock hair is the same hair That was found at the scene of betty and barney hill Yeah, wow, you don't know well speaking of weird henry. This story is for you weird. You know dog food No, you don't know dog food. No, you don't know dog food. No Let's play it to me Dog food is a food that is consistent with a dog's diet. It makes them healthy humans shouldn't eat it Although you can if you are really hungry. I eat most of it is food or humans safe Anyway, they have factories to make said dog food

This is coming in from the daily star. This is powerful. It's about a dude named paul froggett Horrified dog food factory workers saw this is true because he said he saw it And if you can't trust someone who makes dog food, who can you trust? He said he saw a seven foot telepathic alien mantis and he saw it while he was cycling home It happens it happens and he drew a picture of it That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. It's of a praying mantis He said it was evil and it was telepathic Who where is this from? This is this is coming in from dogfoodfactory.com

And he said the you're reading an you're reading an article from dogfoodfactory.com No, this is from the daily star every day. There's a new star and today it's this loser So he the main thing is that so you led by saying do I know what dog food is and then you're saying a man Who worked at the dog food factory who saw an alien on a bicycle telepathic alien who worked at the dog food factory He was bicycling home because he likes to save lives not just at work But also with the emissions the alien worked the factory. No the person did the alien doesn't have a job It's a seven foot freaking telepathic. You know, it doesn't have a job What doesn't have a job? I don't know if the alien has a job or not

And yeah, it might have been around during the weekday bicycling but honestly it could work in the fucking like a graphic designer The mantis wasn't biking the dog food worker was biking. What was the mantis doing? The mantis was being a mantis It was praying. It was very, very religious. What do you think it sounds like? It's actually pretty accurate. Probably that So the man he said he fled after stumbling across the creature as he cycled through a woodland near warwick This is what he had to say and he has a again someone who works with dog food So he's trustworthy. He says it sounds crazy, but I felt like I could sense its feelings towards me and it was just like pure alien

Hatred why do you hate him? I don't know why Hey that long hair He goes on to say you know when you're watching a david attenberg Documentary and you see a spider eating a fly and just a malevolent sense of evil. Yes Apparently it was like that. I actually I don't normally I don't feel that they are evil. I don't I don't think spiders are evil I don't whenever I see I love spiders. I just actually watched a very funny thing on instagram He's pretty cool. Um, it was a little lion licking a little a little pumba those little piggies

And you're like, oh, that's kind of cute, but then the lion just eats it. Yeah, that's very cute Because that's what that's what they do. I'll eat him. Yeah I mean I not like an argument all the time about it because I always root for the predator And then she's gets mad when the elk gets eaten in this on the and the nature documentaries But my whole thing is the predator needs to eat and also the elk has killed many many things as well The elk doesn't you think that elks are peaceful? I think elks are vaguely peaceful. They eat plants They eat Plants can feel number one. That's why I don't know the ground and that's why I don't mow the grass

Yeah, I know that's why I don't eat salads. That's why I don't eat salads You dumpy shithead but yes Anyway, he says just lastly he says on a Thursday morning. This is the man again cycling He says and who saw the praying mantis. He said on a Thursday morning at 5 a.m I was cycling home from work He was doing the night shift to make sure our dogs are fed isn't that sweet of him? I think that he's the bravest person we've talked about today. Thank you

He says 5 a.m cycling home from work And he says and I saw something odd in the sky. It was a glowing glowing orange sphere Just hovering on the horizon at first. I thought it was venus or a satellite But then it seemed to be much closer than either of those things and then he's like it's a freaking alien So there's something going on in warwick where everyone who works in a freaking dog food factory is seeing aliens It's cool. He's bored. He kept cycling. Yeah, man. He's just done with it Yeah, he's like he saw it and he was done with it. Yeah, yeah, obviously he was in that But you just be one straight to the daily star. He said I he said it said chills down his back

Well, if he's listening to this if he's listening to the show you send me A description of this alien. I want to hear about from your fucking mouth side stories lpotlg about to come Well, he that's what he says. He says it was a seven foot light green triangle I want to see his face talking about it I am not features of a mantis but stood on two legs and somehow He had a human like shape about it. I want to hear his side of the story I want to see his face when he's telling it. That's how I know when someone's telling I'm a human lie detector He is there's more quotes in this article than I have ever seen in my entire life

So this man is talking and he knows what he saw and he is going to tell his truth despite skeptics like you Henry Zabrowski Who don't believe people just because they have jobs that are lesser than in your purview you're attacking me I love what he's doing. I think it's the best part of the story is the fact that I now know that that man is at the dog food factory Isn't that nice knowing that only stable minds work at the dog food only stable minds You see this video the guy with cerebral palsy tries robbing a jewelry stop with the gun in his feet You know, I actually I actually wanted to make him hear of the week because but he's robbing a store That's a problem

But he has cerebral palsy and he is using his feet for a gun with the gun and uh And you're the proponent for guns for feet. Just give him something Give the guy a freaking half of the stuff is fake anyway If you have to deal with if a man with a disability is struggling to rob you You should just like give him something give him something You'd have for the crap is I'm looking at the jewelry store insurance. It's all garbage. It's all covered by insurance You can just give it anything behind the glass that you see added jewelry stores trash. It's incredible always in the back Yeah, that's how you bought your wedding ring. It's a beautiful. I love Jared's go to Jared's

I don't know people have to buy wedding rings and it's expensive It is very expensive and it's actually really sad these the kind of how the The what people are held up to like what the amount of money you're supposed to spend on an engagement ring I believe the traditional amount of money you're supposed to spend on it. It's like three months salary That's what they say to me like oh, otherwise you don't love her. It's like, what if we just Spend this on the vacation if the ring is a problem. The love will end up being a problem. Absolutely. Who cares put a freaking little Uh, what do you call those cracker jacks get a cracker jack spider ring and then go on vacation Yeah, the whole thing is get to the honeymoon

Although I do think that you make a proper case for that man being here of the week At the very least the case that I made that I'm not projecting upon you because he does have cerebral palsy He does and he is using He's using his feet to fire potentially a gun which we have to like but unfortunately the We see the gap in the technology here where if he just had a gun that could be on his foot Yep, that person who owns a jewelry store might be dead replace. Well replace the feet with guns Just because he's a cerebral but this because he's got cerebral palsy. Does it mean he's not a doesn't have like anti-social fucking Personality disorder. He could be trying to fucking be the next joker. He's just joker from a wheelchair

Yeah, well, I do have more sympathy for him because it is a very difficult thing Anyway hero of the week the actual hero of the week is a fellow named chat lalande He is an amateur designer and he has an 18 year old pal moranian named sienna sienna's having a hard time seeing because she's 18 which is A million years old. A million years old. I was trying to be like what seven times 18 But especially in pal moranian years. It's a lot So he says I just saw a need and went out and I wanted to solve that need So what was the need? Well, apparently sienna kept on bumping into walls and door frames because she's 18 year old

Paul moranian. He was so freaking cute So he made a 3d printed Little safety device that fits around her head. So every time she bumps into a wall It doesn't hit her it hits the safety device and it goes boop It's a safety hoop and then she says oh, there's a wall and then it goes the other way LaLonde said this isn't the first time he's created Created assisted devices for pups There was a time when his sister's dog started having trouble walking struggling to lift his feet so much that he would often tip over

LaLonde made him a set of boots that attached to the dog's harness. That's so cute So this guy is doing nothing but good stuff with 3d printing. He's not printing vaginas. He's not printing guns He could print a vagina if he wanted a print of a vagina You can print anything you want to as far as I'm concerned But be very careful because you ever see the movie that I'm totally blanking on with the title in the line of fire Is that the one with the wood guns with the wood? How did you know that John Malkovich? How did you know I was thinking about that movie like once a week? You can print that gun now No, we have plastic guns. Oh, no, it's gonna be big. It's very scary

So using the 3d printer. He got one of those He got the holiday hoop. He got the hoop made He had it made right in time for the holiday. He got six different versions of it so they can have fun And so what just a wonderful story look at the six different versions kind of look like torture devices So it does look like torture devices, but you know what they're not And I now I have put in a puffin is begging for scratches and now puffin who is watching with us is begging for food And uh, it's very nice. Lilan says sienna is still getting used to wearing it But she complains less about it now

She's 18 years old and she may not be around much longer I can't make her comfortable in the time she has left all the better once I have all timers I'm just gonna be bungee corded to various things around the house every day I'm gonna have like lines like they do for cave Fucking spelunkers where I'm just gonna have things attached to me so I don't walk too far That'll be great. I gotta say that'll be fun. Absolutely. So good job. Mr. Lalonde Chad Lalonde you are hero of the week Congrats

Um, here's an update on that Richard drive a story. Remember I tell you how he was ranting and raving at that that uh history Thing that people like left the stage someone sent more details of what he was screaming about Um, there's a couple of pictures that was sent to me where he is coated in sweat He is wildly gesticulating. I don't know if you could see this. He is very wet. He's just he apparently went ham What was he upset about? I have no fucking clue. He was at this thing called the the national history symposium was for the history channel So this is what he says He was uh, he ranted about how Abraham Lincoln was one of the worst presidents in all history and proceeded to tear apart the Getty's burger dress then he went on to pitch the new civics course

He was teaching in addition to how he wanted to establish a new york say a new york city based train That would allow him to take rides with his good friends such as barbara strizan The train would give us give them a space to talk about issues called the subway All audience members you want to hold on. He wants a new york city train his own one I can get you an effin train all audience members entered a highly competitive raffle to attend this limited seating event Richard urged the audience to change the channel if they didn't like what they saw Which encouraged a large group catholic Encouraged a large catholic school group to leave. They seem defended. I remember the moderator looked like she was about to vomit

Wait, I don't understand why he was there. I don't know what this was and why does he want a private train with barbara strizan? Why does he hate the getty's burger dress? Why does he hate Abraham Lincoln? I don't know. There's a lot going on in there I mean, I'm sure that there is a true history of Abraham Lincoln that would not look kindly He was still a president all presidents are fucking pieces of shit I'm sure if he came back to modern day, he'd be quite good. He'd have some issues Well, yeah, but he wasn't like anti slavery. It just bummed him out It was just it was bad. He had to fix it. It was politics And I just I just don't know why we don't need to take it down now

I don't know. I think Richard drivers is just you know, let let him have his opinions. He's old Okay, and if you paid for a ticket to see him, that's the show you get you buy the ticket you take the ride What do you think Kurt Cobain to see? I think about this all the time gone too soon. I'm not I'm I'm not happy that he's gone But what do you think Kurt Cobain would be doing right now? I think he'd be in his Paul Simon world music phase You don't think that he would have gotten attached to any political movements or attached himself to any more controversial. Um, I'm gonna call it Uh alternative thinking my greatest hope for Kurt Cobain that he would just become like a David Byrne Where he just starts like wearing the little African hat and like having the whole band like doing that kind of stuff Where it's like he goes more in the world music and it's a little bit more maybe some electronic music

Like just something that where he just kind of became I am I that's my projection for my kind projection for him Is that he becomes more like a Moby You know, I could see that I think he was a cool guy. I think he was relaxed He was very liberal. He was very he was super well, but these things change I mean, who knows it depends on whether or not he got mad if he like, you know If he got quote-unquote cancelled and started to like fight for his alt right Audience, I mean who fucking knows anyway interesting thoughts though. Who knows who knows? I recently learned about crows giving ben's question. What good do crows do?

I like a lot like like a lot of weirdos hard hitting questions coming for me. Hold hold tight Oh, yeah, like a lot of weirdos in Portland, Oregon decided to get backyard chickens during the pandemic I had never raised any birds and started on the local online forums to get advice Everyone said the best way to protect your chickens from aerial predators hawks eagles osprey is to attract crows to your to your yard Okay, and apparently, you know, like you just get a bunch of milkshakes in there. Is that what you do? I barely murders of crows do not fuck around and if you feed them regularly, they will defend your yard like their own I was skeptical about this at first but figured hey, I'm throwing birdseed for the chicken So why not feed the crows too? Is it different? I don't know

Okay, so every morning my chickens hang around and peck at seeds with the local crows avian peace in row city Then one day I'm walking around while I'm walking my dog down the street and I literally see 50 plus 50 plus crows dive Bombing straight towards my house. I've never seen it. It's such a big black cloud just calling like maniacs I ran home to find the crows had straight up massacred a hawk right outside my chicken coop tore it apart That's fucking dope. My chickens were shocked and unharmed. That's fucking off So the crows like the chicken. Well, they like being fed and they don't like having the other birds show up But they don't mind fair. They don't mind sharing the feed with the chicken Oh, I don't know that's kind of cute. It is cute as hell, but it wasn't if it's a bald eagle

You've just committed a federal crime apparently, but they're scavengers though. They're bad. They're bad hunters Honestly, it should have been the turkey, but I actually like I like the bald eagle though. You know, it's also extremely blind Yeah, it's not a great bird. It's a horrible bird. It's a horrible bird. It's a horrible bird looks nice though I get it looks scary as hell. It's the Selena Gomez of birds It looks good not talented. You want to say that out loud? Jesus. She's uh, I'm not sure if she's developed yet She's like 30 years old. I know she's very tiny I don't trust these hollyweeds. I don't like baby faces. No, that's what the hollywood who's scouting these kids pedophiles

See even alex jones was right about that. That's it. That's everything. Yeah, right I mean, yeah, there is a lot of pedophiles in Los Angeles. Yes, there are if I can just throw a lunch box You see who jumps up to catch it. I was I was looking at cool different things I could put on my truck like in an apocalypse. You can get like a big wedge We're going to get all these pedophiles together wedge it wedge them through drive through the truck Don't you know you got a snow plow like it's like that, but it's it was on a comical website I actually don't even know where it was But you can get it for your truck theoretically cool and then yeah, it's supposed to hurt a bunch of people in a mob

Oh, I always think about I think about it. It could probably use be used for horrible things. Yeah, it's for crowd control instead. That's neutral Crowd control is a neutral statement. Yeah, I guess depending on the crowd. Yep. All right. Well, thank you all so much for listening What a perfect episode another perfect episode I didn't spill coffee all over me But I did the problem with my coffee is and you can see it here, Henry. I'll let the audience to know Yeah, the milk is curdled. Yeah. Yeah, I see the love that is why I have you're avoiding it I was in your mustache and now it's in my mustache. You know what? Because the milk had curdled and I didn't realize that we didn't have the fresh milk

Well, just another quarantine fucking tragedy. Yeah, and that's why you just got to get used to it We actually should address something because I think right now people are probably getting various messages about the tour Oh, yes, my god We are not happy. Uh, we basically spoke with the uh venues last week and they said that they are essentially because There's no way I guess to do it safely because of the previous administrations Lack of any sort There's just the fact that there has not been a um any sort of vaccine roll out or any it's kind of bullshit And we're just now starting everything. Obviously everything is now getting push deeper into the year

So the dates that we had pushed for made of june looks like I mean Uh, we were just told we were just told that we're being canceled But I also know for a fact that we are doing it out of fucking Honestly, the goodness for everybody. It's hard. We can't hold on to your money anymore We want you to have the money back and it's not safe to do touring until at least august Um until everybody can get the fucking vaccine. So what I would say is honestly We just are as enough people can get the vaccine and it's safe enough for us all being the same room together. Um, but again, um We're not remotely happy about it. And um, it's great

A puffin is thrilled because I get to hang out with him more. I know Wendy's Yeah, Jerry and Puffin are both happy as hell. But we will figure that out We have dates already now in place that are going to stick. We are going to be able to announce so soon They're coming out into the last quarter of this year. We're going to be out there Um, well, we can't tell you how heartbroken we are obviously. Uh, it was one of our favorite things that we get to do Um, and but uh, we're gonna move on. I mean we have to We don't have any fucking choice the nice thing about time is I've heard it continues to take into the future, doesn't it? It keeps on ticking ticking ticking ticking almost anywhere lentlessly

So almost to the point where you live every day and you think you're 18 years old and every day you consider But like then at some level I think I'm young and then you look you see your body And how it's changed and with your face and how it changes Right, that's always gonna be a surprise and it's not just laugh lines because you know, I do I do laugh quite a bit, but also I frown a lot Those are frown lines are bad too. Some of them are bad But you know what I have to understand you have to learn to love whatever it is you're going through So yes right now. Are we necessarily necessarily happy about our position in life? No, but we have to do the fun pandemic thing

We're just because our lives weren't totally completely fun. Demic death Because our lives weren't totally devastated and everybody else whose lives who just weren't totally devastated this last year They get to actually just be fine So we can be thankful for that the fact that we are fine and we are healthy We haven't you know, not all of our family members have been terrorized by this disease And so for those of you that have a Thanksgiving speech here. I really very nice for those of you that have truly It sounds like you're getting winded. I hate all these kind of positive things But I just want to say straight up for those of you that have we feel

You're an immense sympathy towards you and we're fucking we're just here We're just trying to fucking make yucks as much as possible and we're going to be doing it on stage as soon as fucking We can responsibly do it as soon as we can we will be with you and we cannot wait Um, all right everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Magustalations Hail me. All right, we'll see you on the open range Sounds like we're hunting them This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors

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