Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Wooden Bong

Episode Date: April 11, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a wooden bong in Woodenbong, a fallen Mouseketeer, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side story That's when the cannibalism started Oh man, what's up, buddy? Man another day in the fucking city of angels, but you know what you can't trust this fucking city No, you can't you really can't I know that's the one thing about Los Angeles Well, we've I've led it into enough of my spirit. You know now. He's really happening here. Wendy This is the only environment. She isn't comfortable. She's comfortable. She's seven pounds good and she's Chihuahua She's a she's literally just a tiny little creature that needs sunshine 24-7. That's right

But it is not a place to be trusted. No, I don't understand how people have kids here No, absolutely not literally the entire industry is based on lies. It's Hollywood. That is nice. Why I'm just happy It seems like Hollywood is you know, no longer attempting to be the moral authority of the country I've seen some photos from my friends who live in LA seems like there's some parties going on They're still having fun. That's good. That's what it is for fun and that's what it's for That's it. It is that's it. It is supposed to be we're making movies and that's it. That's it All right, everyone. Welcome to side stories. I am Ben Kissel with Hollywood Henry Zabrowski. I mean There he is auditioning for the next big role of Polish newsie

I'm paid for you sir. Only five drugots Only five drugots for the paper. That's my Polish newsie face I actually watch this documentary about a Polish artist that I believe is named Suszłaki That was discovered by a family member of Leo decaps my old buddy, Mr. Jacapria Uh-huh and apparently he had some huh in the most Polish way possible He became who's the artist a sculptor became fascinated with the ancient art of like the Meso-Americans I call the kind of the central Americans that kind of art that's like old-school Aztec shit So this is all that work. So his art is a central American Aztec art through the mind of a pole through the

Polish, okay, so we created these giant bird-headed Polish warriors And it was supposed to be about getting back to the purity of the heart of the Polish warrior And what and like well our ancient peoples where they came from But it happened to sort of coincide with what the Nazis were doing in the society about really praising Just how magical white people used to be and so he um You know ruining everything for him. All right, there it is classic classic Polish story Well speaking of ruining everything For them there has been many a career that has been ruined specifically in the four mentioned Hollywood when it comes to nexium

So we have a small update on the nexium cult. Of course, we don't know anything yet the about what? Sentence or what the trial is going to look like for the leader Keith Reneer, but a couple of the underlings are Really seeing the heat right now from the justice Reneer Justice the system Reneered Reneer is fucked. Oh, yeah, he is absolutely fucked We covered nexium if you want to look at one of the first side stories we ever did We just did sort of our version of a deep dive back when we were kind of figuring out what the show was So you can kind of get a breakdown of what this sex cult was all about

But we now his second we now know that his second in command Allison Mack who actually won best sidekick in a TV series For the I believe in the kids choice award really CW Superman drama. She won it in 2006 and 2007. That's smallville, right? That is smallville. Yeah, she ended up She is now given She's now pleaded guilty Okay for her role as the right-hand woman in the sex slave cult nexium and she was fucking Fallen really selling how sorry she is. She said according to Allison Mack I'm here to plead guilty before you honor

I must take full Responsibility for my conflict. I am very sorry for my role in this case I am very sorry to my family and to the good people I heard through my misguided adherents to Keith Rainier's teaching So somebody is about to be a rolling rolling rolling. Yep. Oh, absolutely Rainier is fucked. Yes. He is and I'll tell you one thing with that kind of performance I'm just gonna predict once she's out of prison. We have an Oscar nomination coming It is obvious. Yeah, she can she can just get those waterworks going and you know when you're going to court

You can't cry on the yet outside doesn't matter if you're crying going in you got to cry on command You got it. No, you got ten minutes. You got ten minutes to make a statement You got to start crying sporting a beige sweater black pants and leopard print shoes and a brown straw piercing her bun The 36 year old confessed to being part of a secret master slave group within nexium called DOS Mack had been facing sex trafficking charges prosecutors alleged women in DOS were branded with Rainier's initials in room to have Sex with them, but they were not among the counts. She pleaded to Monday interesting. However, she still admitted to keeping a slave She instructed women in the group to maybe quote-unquote perform Services for me. Yeah, but she said the system was designed to make them think they could suffer serious harm

If they didn't perform the services, oh lots of quotes lots of quotes. Yeah, it's not frickin triple a The services, I think you can just say if they don't have sex with Keith Rainier I don't think we need to have like the services like wink wink. What could that be? I have no idea installing in a surround sound system. I Was a member of a secret society founded by Keith Rainier and Mack told the court I concealed Keith Rainier's role as the head of DOS she said she'd believe Rainier's intention were to help people quote-unquote, but she was quote-unquote wrong and Vowed to be a better person asked if she had a clear head Mack admitted. She had one beer last night Honestly, don't know that's one of the funniest things

Michael Cohen when Michael Cohen was giving his testimony to the judge to the judge is like do you have a clear mind? He's like I had a couple of glasses a whiskey. Does it really are you are you okay? I mean come on people. It's like Alex Jones. I had the chili. I I don't know. I had chili I'm not sure if I can even drive right now. I certainly don't have a clear ass Mr. Jones, that's in contempt of court. No, this is I I love to see how sorry she is now She's so sorry absolutely because honestly cuz that's what really and that's all I wanted to hear Yeah, I wanted to hear a story. That's it. I say let her go it is important to have remorse when you start branding people and selling them into or

Forcing them or coercing them into sexual slavery Nexium co-founder. It's not just Allison Mack. Obviously. She is the celebrity face behind this cult scandal Nexium co-founder also Pled guilty in a New York sex slave case. This is Nancy Solman She is a registered nurse who was also known as prefect Yeah, dude within the embattled upstate New York self-help organization. So this is what she had to say She says this is in court. Obviously once again, she is choking back tears But she did not fully cry not an actress not an actress not an actress

She she does not remember the bad auditions No, if you really want to cry a really good way to do is to remember the time you were Auditioning to play fat man eats burger and they tell you next time or a great take great take Henry Next time a little less. Yep. Yep No, it's always great whenever I would walk into an audition that I just no longer do because I could tell it was completely futile They're look the look of on their faces when they were like, oh, I guess we'll have to put the camera up Huh, we'll have to put the camera was like, I'm not gonna get this am I Grabbing AC's casting so it's like yo have to call the police on me other than the having to take off my shirt

And spin around like a jackass the other worse audition was when I didn't get to play Sasquatch And I did this whole like grunting thing and then the guy in the room who was like with the company was just like Super mean and all the casting directors were like, no, no, no, no, no, we we talked to that We talked like that after they leave That's what we say about them behind their back, but he was just a corporate dude. He's like that was the worst thing I have ever seen I can't why Sasquatch wouldn't sound like that and I'm like, we never even heard Sasquatch Why are you honestly? We have we have kiss on and if there's actually a currently a ESPN covered the Sasquatch calling Competition, which is true really Sasquatch. It has sort of like a yelp. It does like a

Like it's a high Call that is actually that is true. Well, apparently I didn't prepare enough for my role as a Sasquatch I had the walk down though. So this is according to Nancy Salzman again I mean some people put her on par with Keith Reneer. She was yeah She was in charge of the money. She was making sure this whole thing worked out Keith Reneer like most idiot cult leaders Was just there to have sex with a bunch of people Well, that's what he thought. He just thought he could inspire enough people to do all the hard work For a long period of time and it does work out for a couple of months

And told people don't become psychic or you don't open the portal to the next dimension And then you have to move the deadline and of course this worked out for a lot more than a couple of months Let's not forget Reneer was on the cover of Forbes magazine. I think Oprah talked about him like this was a mainstream Quote-unquote self-help group. So that's what's so interesting about this So this is according to salesman. She says it has taken some time and soul searching to come to this place I bet I'm sure it did a lot of a lot of legal a lot of lawyers telling you that you're completely and utterly fucked as well That might have helped her as opposed to the soul searching come to the place that she finds herself now This is what she had to say she continues

I accept that some of what I did was not just wrong but criminal if I could go back and do it all over again I would but I can't wow she is as brave as Patricia Arquette who has allowed herself to look vaguely Disgusting in the act. This is just what a brave woman. This is incredible. Very brave And of course, let's not forget Reneer. He's 58 years old He was arrested in 2018 in Mexico and is currently being held without bail in Brooklyn on sex trafficking charges at the time Of his capture Mack was living in her luxury villa in Puerto Vallarta That's according to the court papers and I got to say for mr. Reneer I think he's learning the hard way that his motivational speaking doesn't mean he doesn't get his ass kicked on a regular basis

In a Brooklyn jail because that is one of the places you don't want to be You are fucked, buddy You are fucked and they're gonna come and get you dude every one of your Soldiers is turning on you. This is what always happens. So this is why they end up killing everybody This is why Colts end up committing suicide. Yeah, because at some point You understand the guns start turning inward and then you need to close up shop And so that's one way to do it without having to deal with the embarrassment of sitting in a jail cell at one point You were God now you are just

Shaky the clowns fucking celly It's you with a guy who's like I'm in here because I couldn't go to the bathroom legally and then that's his only explanation now You're home, you know, he sits in a room with a cut out of Allison Mack going Well, she'll definitely be in a cell herself for a little bit of time the sentencing for salesman is set for July 10th I'm gonna assume that's a similar time frame for Allison Mack So we'll see what deal they got obviously both pleading guilt guilty tends to me they struck a deal with prosecutors and again as Henry mentioned Keith is that the head of the snake the tip of the spear and

That's the person that federal authorities and state authorities would like to see behind bars for the longest amount of time Because of course this whole thing would not have existed without his strange mind And it's another story much like Jonestown much like the What was it the people's temple there? Is that the call? What was the name of Jim Jones's the people's temple? You remember look at that. You got all those facts. I get all the facts in there But you know what if Keith Runeer was just not a bad person He probably could have actually helped people because it seems like he had some good philosophies

But then of course he does the branding and he gets a God complex and the whole thing The thing where he he helped rich people stay rich, right? Right, so if you already have a lot of capital It's easy to make money because money seems to attract money. Yeah, just spending money That's what they tell all these people who are rich is a basically you spend you dump it into the system And it comes back out as you were supposed to do or you just hoard it right like you're a mr. Buffett who is just sitting there and he's got the same pairs of shoes for the last 20 years every day Well, you know, that's interesting and you do wonder if that's one of the reasons that he got busted

The same way that Bernie Madoff what Bernie Madoff did Many people have done to middle-class and poor people and they don't see a day in a jail cell Bernie Madoff ripped off rich people And in some ways Keith Runeer ripped off rich people and then they're like nobody. I'm sorry We're not we're not having any stain on us There's anything I want to talk about possibly with Marcus on the show too because I want to get his thoughts I watched the the documentary that Lance Bass put out about Lou Perlman. Oh, I didn't know that existed It's on YouTube. I don't like so I didn't subscribe to YouTube, but I got it Okay, I went and I got that I got the documentary and I think that it's a very interesting this concept of Ponzi schemes at some point

You become almost like I wonder if there's like a category of criminal that's like serial killer, but for financial crimes Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We're at some point Lou Perlman was he did correct with the backstreet boys and in sync I mean not personally not spiritually not like as a person, but in terms of he was successful Oh, yeah, absolutely. He he injured near these guys. He dumped a lot of money into these guys He he got got them training. He put them out there. He got them distribution He did all of these sort of like and then obviously everything was wrong. He thought he fucked them over deeply Yeah, and in terms also himself, but when backstreet boys and in sync finally got out of the contract from him He became a weaponized financial criminal where all of a sudden he is purposely ruining

People's lives, especially the poor where he's getting whatever money that he they had He would just suck it all up and then that was it It essentially just lie with all these like kind of fake Financial reports or the same thing that birdie made off did the same thing that Jordan Belfer did Well, you just start making up statements and sending it back and forth, but there's in in America Financial death it seems to be almost as real as physical death where you can ruin Somebody's life so thoroughly financially Yeah, because because of the way our system works because we don't really take care of our people in the systematic way that we should

Right, you can make someone almost like you. I mean what my dad used to talk about he's talking about I'm worth more dead than all life. Yeah Yeah, that concept where it's like you just all of a sudden you are a non-entity You cannot enter into the American world because you don't have any way to buy the ticket I think that was a way of of older Hollywood thinking. Hopefully they've changed, but you look at Harvey Weinstein as well a lot of the people That he that he said you better have sex with me or else a lot of the people who accepted the or else and did not have sex with them Are you I think? Sorvino's daughter. I forget her name. She was in the mirror Sarvino. Yeah, she says that he just ruined her career

She said after that after I didn't have sex with him. It was done. That's the power when they talk about the powerful That's the power they have absolutely and then Lou Perlman is just wiping you out, right? What happens when you got? $0 in your bank account like you're fucked. You're fucked. I mean what are you gonna do get a lawyer? I don't think so no one's working for Lance Bass pro bono, you know Well, they actually they ended up getting theirs because I was the idea is they got out and then they ended up having their Courier fucking took off even farther than it was. Mm-hmm, but it's a very interesting story I just wonder because Bernie made off to and I think Bernie made off doesn't get as much attention only because he ripped off the rich So people don't have as much

Sympathy towards the rich. Yeah, we're like other dudes just kind of take whoever is willing to get I would like to know What was it? LAO, what was that band that said talked about Abercrombie Abercrombie and Fitch all those would it was just like nothing But boy bands for like 1990s. I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch It was a horrible song, but I would like to know that was his other kid That was his other new problem. I would like to see how much money those dudes actually have because I guarantee you that contract Was horrible well speaking of boy bands the first boy bands of all time. Where did they occur? Where were they at? They were on the Disney Channel a body was found at the home of missing original Disney

Mousketeer Dennis Day a body was found in his and by the way, you got to read this article It's in USA Today They show a little picture of Dennis when he was a mouse keteer and for some reason television when it was just black and white and starting out Was really scary. It's fucking horrifying. What's his name? His name is Dennis Day Um, so a body was found at the home of Dennis Day in original God and I hate it when he's old. Oh, he's got the mischie. He got the Mickey Mouse hat that on oh, man He looks like he's he escaped from the home. He really does look like he might have escaped from a mental health facility He's an original mouse keteer who has been missing for over eight months

The human remains have not been identified and the investigation is ongoing That's according to captain Tim Fox a spokesperson for the Oregon State Police on Thursday April 4th 2019 the Medford Assault and Death Investigation Unit was contacted by Phoenix Police Department After human remains were discovered at 510 Pine Street in Phoenix Day is 76 years old He's a mouse keteer with the Mickey Mouse Club for two years in the mid 1950s And was once amongst the most famous child performers on American television He danced and sang on millions of black and white TVs across the nation We're in the iconic Mickey Mouse ear beanie and sweaters emblazoned with his name. So the original mouse keteer

I didn't even think that any of them would still be alive. It's strange to see him as an older person It's very horrifying because all of those little boys and little girls I mean the the girls kind of grew up to women grab like Annette Finuccio Oh, yeah, I'm gonna stop but like they keep their little boys faces But then they grow into these like drifters like around the little boys faces So if you look at him and it's haunting because if you just cut out the eyes nose and mouth It's a little boy. Yeah, put it on somebody who like looks like he hunts little boys. Oh, but oh like a body Oh, but this is sad though deadest day. He was married to his husband Ernest Caswell in

2011 a day has not been seen since July when he vanished from his small town he left behind his beloved cat and dog and Ernest Caswell who they have been together for more than 45 years. He suffers dementia and memory problems So that's really sad, but then it seems like they it sounds like they might have found his body Yes, they found it in it. They don't know what the remains are But they are at this place 510 Pine Street, and they think it's Dennis Day So days rural home and property had been previously searched along with local cemeteries and canals But nothing was found that's until Lieutenant Jeff Price of Phoenix Police Department told USA today two months ago

That day's car was found about 200 miles away On the Oregon coast in possession of two strangers who claimed they let them borrow it Oh, yeah, it was impounded by Oregon State Police and later searched But there was no sign of foul play other than the fact he might have his remains In a home somewhere so I would be looking into these two dudes who just like he gave me the car I have never in my life Actually heard of anyone being like have my car. I have never heard of that. It never happens the conversation of Trying to get my grandfather to stop driving

Was one of those been like you don't think I didn't kill Mussolini with my own parents Take my car like they're not gonna. He's not gonna give up his car. No, he shouldn't be driving probably not He's a seventy-six-year-old mouse could tear but none the less. Yeah old dementia. He should be driving every single old man As soon as they grab the wheel they just their Charleston has to know they're like from my cold Dead hands and used to be easier to be a man. But now everybody's fighting the man Unfortunately, it might very well be taken from them By their cold dead hands after they start a massive highway pile up and then there's a lot of other dead people too So when the jaws of life come and peel them from the car

Yes, but you know, I'm gonna say this out there if you're a grandmother right now first of all nice good job But if I if you are and you're having trouble seeing just give up the car Let him drive you think about it as a status in yeah It's like a chauffeur look at that get a Uber Yeah, I mean have them take you to wherever your dimension laden mind is taking you which has got to be I don't know where that's gonna go like is it just like uber's gonna start getting weird requested like take me to the rabbit store Why not of course go to a fun pet store take him to a field somewhere and say everything Have fun with it

No, I mean I think you get to take their money for the flowers That'd be five bucks Thank you, Kreek or that is a scam. I'm sure there would be a lot of trips to the VFW I do wish the only thing I've never wanted to be in combat. I've watched a lot of war documentaries. It looks really stressful Yeah, but the one thing I do wish I could have is a conversation about the war days at a VFW because they seem really fun Even though no one's smiling and all the stories are really sad, but it seems like they're having fun VFW is our fun. It's fun to be a part of the uncles who survived Yes, but when you go to those places what you can do is the will will what will happen to us in our 80s

It's gonna be us sitting me in like you remember when we watched the Gulf War be over in three days on television Yeah, I remember remember that time we learned that Marcus used to get farted all over when he was a boy Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do shame. He died. Oh the old shovel accident Oh my goodness. You got to use rubber shovels at some point after Marcus turned 70. I'm buying him nothing but rubber rubber shovels I'm gonna start a whole industry on rubber shovels. We'll go we'll hire people to pre dig holes We'll put we'll put the big dirt out here and be like, oh Marcus. Look at the hard work you did yesterday He's like, I was digging. Yeah, like yeah Marcus Yeah, you were

Just like when just like whenever they plant a tree on the White House lawn and the dumpy president Whoever that president happens to be puts one scoop on top and then they're like taking pictures It's like you didn't do anything But yes, Marcus you did all the digging. I'm speaking of missing people Oh my goodness quickly go over this story the story of the disappearance of Timothy Pitson now Oh, yes on May 11 2011 Six-year-old American boy Timothy James Pitson was dropped off at school in Aurora, Illinois by his father James Pitson He was picked up shortly after by his mother Amy Fry Pitson about an hour after his father had dropped off Timothy

Amy Pitson an estranged wife picked him up and citing a family emergency that was not real Took him on this various tour of amusement parks and resorts where they she called The father's brother and her mother and basically saying I've got Timothy. Don't worry about it They did this little tour next thing you know her body is found death dead of apparent suicide Yeah, with a suicide note that said that apologized for the message She created and she explained that Timothy would never be found But was safe with people who would care for him. So last week a dude this drifter guy Yeah, it was I guess I forget he was he was being picked up for some crime

I believe was for it was a burglary third-degree felony vandalism and he said I'm Timothy Pitson But they just did the DNA work to see if there was a match and it was not a match He was lying so Timothy Pitson is still missing. There is something about this story that is fucking haunting It's this whole it's this breakdown that she did the statement that she made saying Timothy is fine He is safe with people you will never find him. Yeah, that sounds like he might be safe with the angels And she wants to go join him and obviously She did commit suicide, but I'm not sure if she's hanging out with the angels. This is according to the family They got the DNA sample from Pitson's maternal grandmother Alana Anderson. This is according to Anderson

She says it has been awful. We've been on tenterhooks ever since this happened She also added that the family has been Alternatively hopeful and frightened Timothy's aunt Cara Jacob says it's devastating. It's like reliving the day all over again Timothy's father is devastated once again. So, you know, this story of this guy I guess just trying to get out of trouble It seems, you know, not the biggest deal But then you got to think about the family and just being jerked around like that by some random 23 year old

Vagrant is you know, that's I'm gonna say at the very least inappropriate. Yes. I mean, it's a good grab It's a good idea. He sort of looks like it. He's a he's a haunting looking. Have you seen the picture of the dude? Yeah, yeah, he does look like one of those what a real orphan looks like. Yeah, like not a Hollywood orphan He just looks like somebody who has just never had anybody to love him one time But he's got a boyish face like a musketeer, which is also what happened to a lot of these musketeers. Yeah getting turned out Yeah, no Police found they found the knife the fry pits and had used to kill herself It had just her blood on it

But then a concerning amount of blood belonging to Timothy was found in the car But also her cell phone was missing. So we not really know it's like we don't know what happened right for me It sounds like maybe just maybe she was murdered and the son was taken as a result Could be could be that could be a murder suicide somebody who wrote the note, but where's the body? We have no clue where where Timothy is obviously that is the big question here. Jim Pitson. That's the father This is really sad. He said this is the final words he had with his son Timothy Timothy Pitson told the channel about the last morning. He dropped off his son This is what he said. He said I love you daddy and I said I love you buddy and he said I love you, too

Daddy and I'll see you later and I'm like, okay, and I watched him run off to class. So my god That is like so sad so fucking sad. All right, you know, you just never know what's happening You can't I didn't guess what it really just shows. You can't trust mommy not all the time I ever trust mommy because mommy's got baton her bell free. Mommy's not feeling well today And sometimes mommy's frown can be deadly I love that new Lady Gaga song It's fun. So that's a little update on Timothy Pitson but the next story here this is actually really interesting and

I know Henry really wanted to talk about this and it takes place in my birth state I was I was born in North Dakota and this you were born in North Dakota Yeah, it was one of the biggest babies the the hospital have ever has ever seen and if you know anything about North Dakotians There are big people there are big people so they did they have to ship you out like in a U-Haul Not quite but close enough you fucking piece. I know what you're going for here, buddy So this is about a carp writer who's been charged with killing four people. I love this story There's something about this again. Again. Love is never the right word in these situations It's not by this story. You're right here. Let me put my intrigue head on sorry

I'm listening to a lot of I've been listening to cereal for the first time I'd never listened to it and the way she is like horny for at non the whole time is very strange Yeah, so I am putting that lens on so North Dakota multiple homicide a chiropractor is charged and killing four at a Management office now. It's a very it's a very kind of twisty attorney's story. That's just beginning, right? I've got my eyeballs on it Chad Isaac who was a well-known chiropractor, which we had one in clear water Oh, yeah, my dad used to go to car practice all the time because he had horrible arthritis now I believe I am not a fan of car practice a car practer.y There's a lot of debate about whether or not it's real doctrine. I know I used to go. I went a couple of times

Uh, I mean the guy was fine. It's just the crack the sound of bones cracking all day long when you're a chiropractor Just crack the crack Oh, they used to push one this thing and then there would you would lay down flat facing the ground And then they would push your back into this little like slit like like eight homes made this thing crack Oh, it still gives me shivers. I told you my story about me as a boy about how Um, my mom had hid this chocolate cake that she used to get from Costco That was my favorite thing on the face of the planet is a little kid It's like double chocolate thing covered with your curly chocolate shavings on top of it

Oh, I loved it, but I was only supposed to have one piece, right? So my mom was out of the house and so I was just like this kid I was probably like 11 or so. I wanted that cake real bad. Oh, yeah And so I'm rushing down there my mom leaves the house I rushed to go down the stairs. I'm out of these old plank wooden stairs going down to the basement This is in New York. I fall down all the way in my back like boom boom boom boom boom boom Completely just destroy a knock to a vertebrae out of alignment in my my lower spot. Yeah, I still get the cake, right? I crawl on my hands and knees. I get to the cake and I eat a chunk of it, right?

Put it right so cut to like she's not gonna notice you just That's what I used to do with my former roommate cap all the time when I ate his food I was like, he's not gonna notice if I have half of the sandwich. No way, he doesn't know So I go to the chiropractor because I had to go mommy my butt hurts my butt hurts because I was saying my butt hurts again I didn't tell her would run it happened. So when I went into the I went to like I had to sit on a pillow my mom gave me a pillow to sit on I went to the chiropractor And it's like well, we got to loosen this up. So he put me on this triangle facing down. Oh, yeah, he's on in the mat He pulled my pants down around my ankles. It's true. He put electrodes all over the top of my butt

And it in order to zap me to release the muscle so we could snap it all back in place I don't know what he was doing. No idea But he I'm in position. I'm in position and I remember him being like I'll be right back Yeah, I'm gonna let the charges go. He goes he closed the door. It doesn't latch So the door just opens slowly back up as this family comes back and sees just a nude boy Oh Honestly the only thing that I like about a chiropractor if you've ever been there the the instrument They used to see if your spine is straight when they rub it all over your spine. It feels really good

That's the only thing I like about it. It's very erotic. It's like a weird erotic Well, it feels it feels really good also at 11 years old. I was sneaking whiskey already from anywhere I could get it, but evidently you were still in the chocolate phase cake of childhood Yes, I was but this chiropractor murdered four people. Oh a local chiropractor He was charged with four counts of murder So we had like a funny chiropractor and he was like a local funny chiropractor Okay, like funny little signs and shit so what he says he went to this place called RJ arm maintenance Which was a building like a project management site. Okay, and he shot four people. He walked in

He shot the owner and he shot the owner of Robert Fackler Who's co-owner and then he shot Adam Führer 42 Louis Cobb 45 and her husband William Cobb shot him to death Oh, and then left, but it seems to be there's no motive. We don't know why but it's this highly Orchestrated murder. He showed up in bright clothes with the gun. He's he's a navy man It's like and he's known in the neighbor. He's known in the neighbor Well, why would he wear bright clothes? Wouldn't this be a time to put a ammo on? listen shoots all four of them

It's in security cameras found. Oh, he arrives in bright clothes. He emerges in all dark clothing He changed his clothes while inside to camo and black and above a clava whatever you call that but clava and Gets back into not his truck He steals an RJR management truck and drive it to where he has pre parked his car to some other place Where then he ends up bagging all of us up He collected all of the shelves, but he not only shot them to death. He also stabbed them. Yeah So he shot four of them and then stabbed what the hell shooting what happened here? I mean don't know if they said he was a model tenant. That is crazy. So this was his property management company

This is the people he was paying rent to for his first house. Okay It was something he was getting some kind of revenge. I guess so he's been hard Uh, he's being held on a bond that has been set for one million dollars. Uh, he faces a maximum of life without parole for each Of the murder counts. So it doesn't look like you'll be getting out anytime soon and the cops, uh, they stopped him They recognized this car that he had stolen. He was detained during a traffic stop And officers conducted a search in the vehicle and this is according to police They say evidence discovered on Isaac and in the vehicle provided probable cause to place Isaac under arrest For the murders. That is just freaking scary to think that this man has his hands all over the bones of everyone in this town

I'll go to get to them bones. It's like people who want to be Pediatrists or like butthole doctors where it's like all day long. You just do you go to these places? You know that the feet my feet are horrible. Yeah, my butthole is almost worse The idea of your job is all day to go like, all right, let me check it out You have to have some kind of fetish right in a little a little bit Hey, man, all I know is every single surgeon I have ever met is really really insane Which I am going to block out of my brain when I start needing surgery Because I need to have the belief that my body is in hands of someone who is not

Not needing a beer in the morning to stop shaking It is like I need to believe that they're there. They're professional and they're not going to kill me But in reality when you need a surgeon in the wild Yeah, meeting a surgeon in the wild and you see how hard they're part of the hotel bar And you'll like ask them like, oh, what are you doing? You're like, I'm a surgeon Meanwhile, he's slugging back three fingers of Johnny Walker black me like so are you here for like a conference? He's like no I've been shipped in for a special surgery. I got to be in there at 7 a.m He's like it is midnight

Oh man Well with any luck, it's Dick Cheney's fourth heart surgery and uh night not go so well Just fucking choke him to death. Just put the pillow over his fucking face. All right. Well, let's let's lighten the mood a little bit This is it's time for our hero of the week and we actually we have a new we were going to try out that someone said another Uh version of the hero of the week theme if we want to hear it Let's do that. This was put together by a person named Alex recordings of number stations I love listening to them and it is All right, there it is. That is great. Thank you, Alex hero of the week. That's great

All right, the hero of the week It is a it's an artist an artist plans to carve the biggest wooden bong Why would he do it because there is a town called wooden bong and that town is in Australia It is a renown for its big tourist attractions and an artist from northern south wales reckons He has come up with the most extraordinary Attraction yet a giant wooden bong the man's name is paul pierce. And he makes bongs devices commonly used to smoke cannabis Commonly used to smoke cannabis When have you when is anybody honestly slit open a bunch of marble lights and just load it up a bong

With it it says for tobacco use only so paul pierce you are the hero of the week This is what he had to say. He said I've always had an interest in bong making and art I've been doing it all my life. He says I've made uh, I've made bongs out of dolls plastic lobsters vases exhaust pipes everything Now, okay, is it usable this should be I i'm looking at a picture of it now. It looks like the um It looks I don't think he has the bowl for it yet. Um, let's see here So pierce and he ended up moving to a place called wooden bong So this is a quote from pierce in as to what inspired him to make this wooden bong

But as soon as I heard wooden bong I envisioned a wooden bong That is the creativity that we need in this world today He just heard the it's like it reminds me of uh, Noah's arcade Uh, from Wayne's world this stuff. It just comes to his wife. He just comes to me. It just comes to me So oh, yeah, mr. Pierce and built one bong that stood at 1.5 meters But he had an even bigger goal that he believed would bring droves of tourists of the rural community I believe people from all of the world share my dream I envisioned a giant wooden bong taller than the big marino

Tourism is our only option for survival of this dying village. Absolutely it is But Jesus Christ somehow this wooden bong idea hasn't been universally accepted by the people of australia And I don't understand why he has started a petition to gain support for the idea Which includes a giant wooden bong with a tourist information center underneath however the concept had mixed reviews Dude, this is fucking hilarious get the bull elder and wooden bong local gloria williams said the town's name was adapted from Obviously, I have no clue how to pronounce it pronounce this from the local indigenous word Nugunggung Bunch. Yeah, right. I don't know if I'm obviously I have no clue what that is. It's ngand G-u-n-g b-u-n-j

Some interpret that as meaning dug on water, but miss williams said she had been told it meant place of the platypus The name wooden bong has nothing to do with the bong. We don't need anything else man-mate We've got enough natural beauty here. We've got beautiful landscapes and mountains and according to a wooden bong based Kyogleshile counselor Lindsay pass passfield She says she doesn't mind the idea of a big thing, but she thinks the bong was wrong. I don't Wow, what's wrong with you? Come on. Come on. But of course, I mean you don't just get to be hero of the week

If you don't have any resistance any pushback paul pierce. And you're brave my man get this bong done. Mr. Pearson He says he's undeterred by the criticism. I don't think I need to convince people It's pretty obvious the comedy factor speaks for itself. It's an unfulfilled prophecy. It has to be played out Oh my goodness, so who knows hero that's why he's a hero That is why he is a hero. So there it is paul pierce and get it done my man We support you here In the states and when we're when we're in australia We hope to stop by wooden bong and perhaps see if it works or not

Yeah, dude. I'll fucking fire that shit up Let's go. I think it's in new south wales. So I forget where I don't know where exactly that is But I would definitely go and fire up that fucking bad boy. I'd like to get a chance Of course. Oh my god. If it's if it's functioning that would just be remarkable and a true piece of art and he has A picture of him with all of his other bongs sort of uh Displayed out in front of him and I gotta say they look pretty fun. They look they're no He's very talented. This is all they found the they found the people who got that a horse stolen from them in kansas city We have another update here. That's right

They they it's just people are very upset because it was their pet and someone stole it and stripped it of its meat But we don't know nobody knows who that's horrible Okay, so this is oh, I got a lot of kickback from um various friends that are ecologists and people uh, They're definitely uh, I have one friend in particular who said that uh my idea of having a thing called dump town is uh should be outlawed Yeah, and then I am a criminal against the world for even conceiving. Well I do think that people might not necessarily need to take up all of your political ideas And take them so literally I don't I come up with ideas. That's all I do. I know that's what I am I give of ideas freely to the universe take them as you will. I know what you do

So this is again the update on the horse story. A metro family wants justice after pet horse was stolen and found dismembered um The val it's the valdez family believes the horse which has this which was discovered by someone playing disc golf Was stolen from a friend's farm in kansas city. This is according to valdez This is an 11 year old michelle valdez. She says I didn't want to believe that it was her in the park I started riding her like when I was two or three years old on tuesday investigators said someone butchered the horse for the meat and dumped the parts Uh in the park, so she goes on to say I don't know why they only interviewed the 11 year old

Uh, she said if I was going through a rough time or something, I'd get on my horse and start getting relaxed She's 11. What is going on? She's like the marmarite horses The people on horses say yes, and she does sound like she does sound like a man who lives off the grid. Yes The father miguel valdez says I was very upset and angry because I never expected something like that Uh, and finally what if you did? I don't know every day you stood out in the backyard being like Someone's gonna take that worse. Someone's gonna cut its dick off. Oh, it's been like daddy. I'm trying to relax I daddy can't you see I only love them to be a field. Oh, man. So the dad says this about talking to the family for the first time

He had to tell their nine-year-old sonata About this he says when they showed me those parts. I was even crying they uh, the way they did it Um, the way they cut her up was awful. The daughter said I just can't imagine someone doing that to a horse And I agree. I just it's not good meat. I don't like horse meat So I don't really understand. No, there was something in the in the collective unconscious regarding horse meat Marcus was talking about it in iceland. You had it and then we had this horse story So I'm just gonna do this classic ben kissle horses. Leave them alone. Leave what I'm saying leave them alone I mean, they just you know, they're your horses, but leave them alone. Leave them alone

You know, it's just very strange to I mean, I just don't know why they did this in the middle of america I don't know why they put it in a disc golf course. I don't know. I don't know any I don't know. I don't understand why any of this happened. Also food is pretty cheap here Once you go to the 99 cent menu with your mcdonald's which I ordered a crapload of the other day by the way Um, oh, I don't know why why because it was brook got a job at the new york post for reporting And then she had to be up really early So I ordered like a hundred dollars worth of mcdonald's breakfast and then I've just been like eating that Why because I thought it would be nice doing her. No, I know I just we had a pound of mcdonald's

How much does she eat? No, she did not eat. She had one mcmuffin But I wanted to move. Hey, look at this. We're celebrating. It was like You too. Do you ever see uncle buck with the birthday party? Yeah Uncle buck was a loner who lived alone in a gas station He also made you remember that he made big pancakes and he didn't live alone in a gas station He lived next door in a wriggly field He's a cubs fan. That's right. That's right might wait, but it was just you and brook It wasn't like her and all the friends. No, it was a nice gesture

Because she's going off to work as a reporter because she's going on up in the world So I thought it'd be funny to have a pile of mcdonald's. It's called being a good person, Henry I understand. No, I mean, you know what? I'm gonna give you this and say yes I agree with you because I do do the same thing. I have done this I do over celebrate when it comes to certain things with the food It's because I am also because I of the mind because of what my mother did to me Which is that the concept of running out of food. There's nothing more

Embarrassed. Oh my god. Absolutely Than running out of food at a group function. Oh, but that was not a group function. That was just you know, that was just you're allowed to You're allowed to have but no seriously my mother was the exact same We had a wrestlemania party wrestlemania was great this year by the way And yeah, I just immediately of course you buy too much food. You have to buy by midwest and polish law I have to have to I want to finish this out with an actual classy poem that was sent to me by constant Williams She's a poet and artist living in Los Angeles And she said there's a lot of people which we've talked about in the past

But how we don't like poetry because we've only read bad we've either read bad poetry Or you know, people have been exposed to dumb stuff But she wrote the but she read this poem by a man named frank bedart Is what the serial killer herbert white and I got to say it's haunting So in a moment of and I would say almost close to seriousness I'm going to read this poem and that's haunting. It's a little rough. So it's about a serial killer not written by a serial killer No, it is about a serial killer. And so let's put our little npr hats on Listen, aren't we sensible?

What a sensible group we are you and I kiss Just sitting and thinking and measured responses I'll never forget touring npr because we were so desperate to try to get a radio show and all this stuff And the offices are the single saddest thing I have ever seen. So quiet. They're so quiet. So quiet And I had no idea what reality was. So I sent the guy The round table of gentlemen being like, I think this would be really good for npr And believe it or not, they didn't want to totally change brands and he stopped. Uh, he stopped emailing me. So Weird. Yeah, I know really

Um, that is strange. Yeah, because we were budding talents at the time. Oh, yeah Yeah. All right. So this is fucked, but it's very interesting and haunting. Okay When I hit her on the head, it was good And then I did it to her a couple of times, but it was funny afterwards It was as if somebody else did it Everything flat without sharpness richness or line Still, I like to drive past the woods where she lay Tell the old lady and the kids I had to take a piss hop out and do it to her

The whole buggy of them waiting for me made me feel good But still just like I knew all along she didn't move When the body got too decomposed. I just jack off letting it fall on her It sounds crazy, but I tell you sometimes It was beautiful I don't know how to say it, but for a minute everything was possible And then then Well, like I said, she didn't move

And I saw under me a little girl was just lying there in the mud And I knew I couldn't have done that somebody else had to have done that standing above her there in those ordinary shitty leaves One time I went to see dad in a motel where he was staying with a woman But she was gone you could tell the wine in the air and he started real embarrassingly to cry He was still a little drunk and he asked me to forgive him for all he hadn't done But what the shit? Who would have wanted to stay with mom with bastards not even his own kids? I got in the truck and started to drive and saw a little girl

Who I picked up hit on the head and screwed and screwed and screwed and screwed and then Buried in the garden of the motel You see ever since I was a kid. I wanted to feel things make sense I remember looking out the window of my room back home and being almost Suffocated by the asphalt and grass and trees and glass just there Just there doing nothing not saying anything Filling me up, but also being a wall dead and stopping me I wanted to see it beneath it

Cut beneath it and make it somehow come alive The salt of the earth mom once said man's spunk is the salt of the earth That night at that 29 Palms motel. I had passed a million times on the road Everything fit together was all right. It seemed like everything had to be there Like I had spent years trying and at last finally finished this drawing This huge circle But then suddenly I knew somebody else did it Some bastard had heard a little girl the motel I could see again

It had been itself all the time a lousy pile of bricks Plaster that didn't seem to have to be there, but was just by chance Once on the farm when I was a kid I was screwing a goat and the rope around his neck when he tried to get away pulled tight and just when I came he died I came back the next day jacked off over his body, but it didn't do any good Mom once said man's spunk is the salt of the earth and grows kids I tried so hard to calm more pain than anything else, but didn't do any good About six months ago. I heard dad remarried. So I drove over to Connecticut to see him and see if he was happy

She was 25 years younger than him. She had lots of little kids and I don't know why I felt shaky I stopped in front of the address and snuck up to the window to look in and there he was a kid six months old on his lap laughing And bouncing the kid happy in his old age to play the papa after years of sleeping around it twisted me up They think that what he wouldn't give me he wanted to give them I could have killed the bastard Naturally, I just got right back in the car and believe me was determined determined to head straight for home

But the more I drove I kept thinking about getting a girl and the more I thought I shouldn't do it the more I had to I saw her coming out of the movies and she was alone and kept circling the block as she walked along them saying You're going to leave her alone. You're going to leave her alone The woods were scary as the seasons changed and you saw more and more of the skull show through the nights became clearer And the buds erect like nipples, but then one night nothing worked Nothing in the sky would blur like I wanted it to and I couldn't couldn't get it to seem to me that somebody

Else did it I tried and tried but there was just me there and her and the sharp trees saying that's you standing there You're just you I hope I fry Hell came when I saw myself And couldn't stand what I see Well, that's great. We want to isolate that footage send that to npr. No with no context I want no context send that to npr be like Henry Zabrowski. He's looking to kind of rebrand

He wants to be more of a poet. What do you think about his work? Well, wonderful. That is that is morbid that is disturbing very haunting, but I feel like we cover so much We call we cover horrible shit all time and then every once in a while It's like that thing where you really think about it You think about it from the other side for a second and you really like I forget how scary this shit is we cover half the time Because we our jobs we like to do it's like we we say we defang the monster But sometimes the idea just crawling into one of these monster's heads Yeah, and of course we had a chance to do that with the joseph calendar

Um series that that's yeah, that's great Interesting poem indeed the art art is art is good art is powerful and we need art is good. Absolutely All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening We can't wait to see everyone on the road You can go to our website and see the tour dates and if we're if we're within an ear shot of you Yeah, um come and see us we we can't wait to see y'all the tickets come on in come on out You get there you get there we got tickets still left in vancouver vancouver. So come on down. We can't wait And um, yeah, I suppose that yeah live. Yeah live man live

Again, it's you know, live That's sound on a roller coaster Does that work yeah kind of love love, but don't grip Yep. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? I don't know. I'm not sure exactly what you're going for there, but all right Laugh. Yeah, let the barks escape your teeth So all right everyone, thank you all so much for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail say magustillations Hail me Hey, we got a juicy ass topic coming your way this week juicy burgers

This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com